Recently at a workshop presented by Serge Benhayon, Serge shared that as a society we are far too polite and nice with each other, with no one really being prepared to call out what is truly going on for another.
He shared that sometimes things need to be said to support another to look at what is going on for them.
He used the example of saying to a woman, “Hey, I have noticed you have put on a couple of kilos, is everything okay?” Initially the audience laughed at the thought of saying that to another, especially to a woman. The audience was clearly uncomfortable, challenged by all the beliefs and ideals that tell us you don’t say that. Imagine a woman’s reaction to that?
Serge went on to express that if it were delivered from true love and care, anyone would be open to hearing that.
I, in fact, have experienced this to be true on both counts: as the one expressing the truth and love, and as the one being on the receiving end of this level of love and truth.
Recently a very dear friend of mine, who happens to be a photographer, told me that my birthday present from him was to be a photographic portrait session. I was deeply touched and of course said “Thank you.”
He immediately followed that with, “Yes, but I will not photograph you until those dark circles are gone from under your eyes.” I had a moment of shocked silence, but also a deep realisation of just how much this man loves me.
Truthfully, in that moment, I realised just how much he loved me to say what he did.
I knew it had nothing to do with my looks, as he could easily cover up the dark circles, but rather it was everything to do with his concern as to why I was so tired and/or run down.
What was equally funny was he too was slightly shocked and I could tell he was bracing himself for a possible negative reaction from me.
I could tell he was totally relieved when I burst out laughing and expressed my appreciation for what he had said, which very much confirmed that I knew it came from all the love I know he has for me. His expression just simply confirmed this love to me.
Since this beautiful exchange, I have continually reflected on that comment. For many reasons:
- Firstly, to seriously look at why I do have dark circles under my eyes.
- Secondly, to consider what it must be like for others to want to express like that, but believe they can’t in a world that says it is rude and impolite, instead of the love that it truly is.
- And, finally, to reflect on what it feels like to be loved so openly and honestly like that.
For me, this is true love and I for one am forever appreciative of it. Thank you deeply, dear friend (Alan Johnston), for loving me so much that you were prepared to express the truth, no matter the possible consequences, and thank you deeply Serge Benhayon for your continual inspiration in leading the way back to what true love is, and for equally always loving me enough to express the truth.
In the ten years I have known you, you have never held back from expressing. Your love is beyond measure and you are prepared to say whatever is needed, regardless of the reaction.
Which leads me to a point of question. Why do we react when truth is expressed?
Is it possible we don’t like to hear the truth because it requires change on our part?
Is it sometimes far easier to ignore what is being presented and/or find a way to blame or make the one expressing truth wrong, rather than take responsibility for what needs changing and accept the gift that is being offered?
Love in expression is a two-way street: we need to be open enough to allow the truth to be expressed and we have to love enough to express the truth when it is needed.
Without this level of expression, we will stay stuck in the niceties and pleasantries of everyday conversation and hence, away from the truth we all need to evolve back to the truly divine and glorious beings that we are.
Published with permission of Alan Johnston
By Caroline Raphael, Goonellabah, Australia
Further Reading:
The highest form of intelligence is love
Truth – Expressing in Full
Trusting out ‘True Voice’ and Expression
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Many of us have been brought up to have ‘proper’ manners and this means we have to be ‘nice’ even if every fiber of our body is telling us something different. When we go against what our bodies are naturally telling us, then to be honest, we’re asking for trouble further down the line. Is it possible that this is where illness and disease sets in because we go against what our bodies are telling us?
I recently felt myself shaking as I expressed a truth I felt. Holding back the day before I felt much worse than shaky, the thoughts and blaming and utter nonsense come in when I hold back expressing. But when it’s out and expressed, it’s not so scary and I felt settled within.
True Love in expression, is pure gold and when we react this can be seen as a reason that we can heal and look at why we have a belief around a value that is not supporting our evolution, so feeling from our bodies becomes an instrument or radar for Love and healing.
When expressing, whatever the content is, it is key the expression comes from and with love.
What it all boils down to is expressing our care for one another.
“Hey, I have noticed you have put on a couple of kilos, is everything okay?” Initially the audience laughed at the thought of saying that to another, especially to a woman’ I can see why the audience would laugh at this, if I was there initially I would have had a chuckle as well, but this just shows how we are brought up to be ‘nice’. It also shows that when this is expressed with genuine care and of course sensitively towards that person, just how loving it really is. It also exposes nice for what it is, like a rug put over things to keep everything ‘okay’, but not actually getting to the core or truth of anything. It is very deceptive and something I would have never thought I would have said, but it is quite evil.
HOW we say something to another, regardless of what it is, is key to that person actually hearing what we have to share with them and taking it or board, or dismissing/ignoring it because they feel intimidated or criticised.
When someone tells you that you have bags under your eyes it is a wakeup call that forces you to pause and reflect on how you have being living, sleeping, eating and running your days. If we were more honest and supportive about what we observe about ourselves and others I am wondering it this would go a long way to addressing the epidemic of exhaustion, depression and anxiety that is presently plaguing our society right now.
“Why do we react when truth is expressed?” When truth is expressed with love we cannot avoid the fact that we know this truth and that we have been lying to ourselves.
Do some people choose to bury their heads in the sand, and not want to hear the truth?
I am realising how condescending, dishonouring and deeply disempowering it is when I think someone wont be able to handle an honest or truthful communication I am impulsed to make – and this is regardless of whether they react to what I express or not.
We are so caught up in the niceties of life because this is what we are taught from young, to have polite manners and to be nice to people. Even writing this I can feel the evil of nice, it’s such a sham. We are nice so that the other person or people will like us and not harm us.
English people are notorious for being ‘nice’, but in reality it feels horrible on all sides.
”Love in expression is a two-way street: we need to be open enough to allow the truth to be expressed and we have to love enough to express the truth when it is needed.”
This sharing brings joy to my eyes and heart, because what we can see is simply love expressing and in all the space it needs. That to me is an enrichment of life, our expression in this world. More please.
I have been so used to expressing out of reaction and/or judgment, I have often felt not equipped to express ‘truth’ – and this can happen when I actually did feel I expressed with and from love but get told that I was being harsh/judgmental/reactive etc. and I retreat with the tail between my legs, doubting myself. And that’s such a poor excuse for not expressing myself – as in, ‘I have to wait until I am love enough before I can express myself in full’.
‘Love in expression is a two-way street: we need to be open enough to allow the truth to be expressed and we have to love enough to express the truth when it is needed.’ – very much to the point. When being nice or ignorant we avoid the challenge – the challenge of claiming our power and the authority of presenting truth, being transparent, not holding back and letting our love to shine out AND dealing with the other person´s reaction or response. In that sense there is much for us to learn and embrace while excorticating out of the layers of protection, avoidance and ignorance.
Serge has a way of speaking absolute truth with no apologies, when we are pulled up by him we feel the absolute love and care that we are held in, a call to be more of the love that he knows us to be.
When truth is expressed with and from love it can be enriching, ‘we feel the absolute love and care that we are held in, a call to be more of the love that he knows us to be.’
Pulling each other up for not living our truest and great potential is an act of love and an offering of true support, as it comes from the knowing of the love we are in essence with the truth that honors us all. This is what true friendship is about pulling each other up to live the power of our true divine potential.
It has become nice and polite to leave people in their ‘stuff’ rather than calling them out of such miseries and into the joy of who they really are. It feels like I’ve signed a contract of sorts “you say nothing and I won’t either” and all it’s done is keep us all miserable being nice. Noting that nice and respectful are two different things.
A gorgeous blog Caroline, thank you for sharing the love that you felt in those words given to you by Alan, and your acceptance and appreciation of the deeper love that was on offer, beautiful this is being true, not nice where no truth lay.
We do as a society have distorted versions of love, some of the things I have observed as false love are pandering to people or being sympathetic to them without asking the person to step up and take better care of themselves (as an example). It all boils down to the quality of what was said, and if it felt loving or not, because pandering and feel good statements are not truly loving.
I too notice that there is that initial shock and stop moment when someone offers a truth about me that goes further than most people in society go. It is great when that reflection comes with love and no judgment, because that offers the space for me to feel and reflect on what was expressed. I find that is the key in any communication.
I love hearing the truth expressed by Serge Benhayon, it offers such clarity and wisdom that offers us all an opportunity to truly evolve.
Same here Anna, as do I love hearing the truth from anyone and would rather this quality of relationship, one founded on truth and honesty any and every day over one that is about avoiding or holding back the truth. In our expression of truth we, as you say, truly evolve and together we all have the great opportunity to inspire, confirm and pull each other up to evolve.