The Simplicity of True Expression: Inspired by Serge Benhayon

Recently at a workshop presented by Serge Benhayon, Serge shared that as a society we are far too polite and nice with each other, with no one really being prepared to call out what is truly going on for another.

He shared that sometimes things need to be said to support another to look at what is going on for them.

He used the example of saying to a woman, “Hey, I have noticed you have put on a couple of kilos, is everything okay?” Initially the audience laughed at the thought of saying that to another, especially to a woman. The audience was clearly uncomfortable, challenged by all the beliefs and ideals that tell us you don’t say that. Imagine a woman’s reaction to that?

Serge went on to express that if it were delivered from true love and care, anyone would be open to hearing that.

I, in fact, have experienced this to be true on both counts: as the one expressing the truth and love, and as the one being on the receiving end of this level of love and truth.

Recently a very dear friend of mine, who happens to be a photographer, told me that my birthday present from him was to be a photographic portrait session. I was deeply touched and of course said “Thank you.”

He immediately followed that with, “Yes, but I will not photograph you until those dark circles are gone from under your eyes.” I had a moment of shocked silence, but also a deep realisation of just how much this man loves me.

Truthfully, in that moment, I realised just how much he loved me to say what he did.

I knew it had nothing to do with my looks, as he could easily cover up the dark circles, but rather it was everything to do with his concern as to why I was so tired and/or run down.

What was equally funny was he too was slightly shocked and I could tell he was bracing himself for a possible negative reaction from me.

I could tell he was totally relieved when I burst out laughing and expressed my appreciation for what he had said, which very much confirmed that I knew it came from all the love I know he has for me.  His expression just simply confirmed this love to me.

Since this beautiful exchange, I have continually reflected on that comment. For many reasons:

  • Firstly, to seriously look at why I do have dark circles under my eyes.
  • Secondly, to consider what it must be like for others to want to express like that, but believe they can’t in a world that says it is rude and impolite, instead of the love that it truly is.
  • And, finally, to reflect on what it feels like to be loved so openly and honestly like that.

For me, this is true love and I for one am forever appreciative of it. Thank you deeply, dear friend (Alan Johnston), for loving me so much that you were prepared to express the truth, no matter the possible consequences, and thank you deeply Serge Benhayon for your continual inspiration in leading the way back to what true love is, and for equally always loving me enough to express the truth.

In the ten years I have known you, you have never held back from expressing. Your love is beyond measure and you are prepared to say whatever is needed, regardless of the reaction.

Caroline Raphael & Alan Johnston
Caroline Raphael & Alan Johnston

Which leads me to a point of question. Why do we react when truth is expressed?

Is it possible we don’t like to hear the truth because it requires change on our part?

Is it sometimes far easier to ignore what is being presented and/or find a way to blame or make the one expressing truth wrong, rather than take responsibility for what needs changing and accept the gift that is being offered?

Love in expression is a two-way street: we need to be open enough to allow the truth to be expressed and we have to love enough to express the truth when it is needed.

Without this level of expression, we will stay stuck in the niceties and pleasantries of everyday conversation and hence, away from the truth we all need to evolve back to the truly divine and glorious beings that we are.

Published with permission of Alan Johnston

By Caroline Raphael, Goonellabah, Australia

Further Reading:
The highest form of intelligence is love
Truth – Expressing in Full
Trusting out ‘True Voice’ and Expression

846 thoughts on “The Simplicity of True Expression: Inspired by Serge Benhayon

  1. ‘Is it possible we don’t like to hear the truth because it requires change on our part?’ and that’s the nub of it for we know truth when we hear it and often we have known the truth expressed to us for a long time but we have not wanted to address it, and so we are exposed in hearing that truth, but it’s a gift offered to us to allow us to see and feel what our next learnings might be, so yes it can be deeply uncomfortable but it’s so worth embracing … especially as deep down we often know it already.

  2. “Love in expression is a two-way street: we need to be open enough to allow the truth to be expressed and we have to love enough to express the truth when it is needed.” I love the simplicity and ease of reading this blog — its an honest account of the way it is.

  3. Reaction to truth comes because we aim at controlling what we emanate, what we project out and we may well find out that what people see is not what we would like them to see. Yet, expressing what they do see is a profound act of love that rescues us from the illusion we are trying to live under. It is like they say, nice try but because I love you I will dare not to buy what you are offering me because in truth there is not true offer to you.

  4. Which leads me to a point of question. Why do we react when truth is expressed?
    Is it possible we don’t like to hear the truth because it requires change on our part?
    I believe this to be true, I feel we don’t like change until we are forced to re think our lives because of illness and disease and I have noticed that people won’t even change then. They expect the medical profession to cure them so they can continue living how they have always lived.

  5. Beautiful Caroline. This is indeed inspirational, as I too “suffer” by the beliefs you cannot say things like the remark on the extra kilos. Surprisingly people have no holding back when people are underweight as I have discovered myself. Also beliefs in action.

  6. We are brought up with the belief that you don’t tell someone the truth if it is likely to rattle them, that it is far better to hold your tongue and be “nice”. So the other person is robbed of the opportunity of hearing the truth and so is the lesser and we are left with a poison in our body because we didn’t express a truth that was there to be expressed.

  7. It says a lot about the person to be able to be open to hear those kind of truths, because it is not always easy to not react and feel the blessing and opportunity it actually offers us to heal and let go unhealthy patterns that keep us small.

  8. Your example of a truly loving gesture from Alan about your eyes, Caroline, reminded me of a friend of mine who at one point during a Universal Medicine workshop (when I was repeatedly talking with her and nudging her during the presentation) turned to me and basically called out how I had never grown up and was in need of constant attention. At first, this comment really threw me back on my heels, and I felt a bit hurt by the bluntness of it. But after I let it settle for a few hours I could really see the truth of what she was sharing in her observation, I thanked her for exposing it, and this became the catalyst for some deeper healing regarding my childhood relationships that had affected me into adulthood.

  9. If what is said from one person to another is with true genuine care then after a period of shock (from the person receiving it) this will be felt, and like you expressed afterwards it gave you time to reflect on why were you so tired. I guess this is also a lesson in not taking things personally.

  10. I observe when I express with simplicity my students understand things more clearly. Soon as there’s complications then everything becomes complicated.

  11. I too have been inspired by Serge Benhayon and I know my expression has changed over the years. There are many a times I have had to express the truth and when I know who I am and stay steady, it removes the personal aspect to it. I know there is more to refine, and I love being part of the refining process, whether with tears or whether with joy.

  12. I LOVE this blog, true expression is from love and not from hurts. We take things so personally when something is said about our bodies, families, etc If we look at the intention behind this then we can feel where it is coming from.

  13. If we lovingly express what we observe in another it is an opportunity to inspire another to feel their own truth as to what is truly going on, and leaving an opportunity for it to lovingly and supportively be addressed.

  14. I think when you ask something with genuine care for another (and not judgement) then that can be felt, it may not always be accepted but that’s ok, there doesn’t need to be any attachment to what is offered…

  15. We have been programmed to avoid reactions, to speak politely and to not rock the boat and it has done us all a great deal of harm. Yet we have to put our training wheels on and not expect to be able to turn that around overnight, there may well be quite a bit of clumsy expression as we remember what it was like to simply express from love again.

  16. The way and tone of how something is expressed very often affects the way it will be received. I know in my case if something is shared about me with me, if it comes from love I more often than not respond with acceptance, but if I detect an ounce of judgement or criticism I will most likely react. This is less so nowadays since I have become aware of the adverse affects to my body when I react.

  17. If the truth is indeed that we are all stupendous and glorious beings, then there can be no amount of truth to be held back, everything needs to be said up-front and real. Because this world as it is today does not reflect the gloriousness that we are, or potentially are depending on your standing. And if truth is the way back to knowing ourselves in full, then let it be here in everything, let the truth out.

  18. The ‘niceties’ and social ‘politeness’ can prevent us from speaking or hearing the truth. When someone loves us enough to tell us the truth we know it is true but have been lying to ourselves to not take steps to be more honest with the way we are living.

  19. It seems to me that we are either too polite and or nice with each other, or we are being very abusive with each other. Either way no one is calling out what is really going on in society. Except one man and he is ridiculed for actually explaining to the world how it is as he can clearly see how rotten our society has become. And we all know it has, it is whether we are prepared to do anything about it or are we going to let it slide further into the morass? To me it’s like watching a civilization rise and fall again.

  20. True expression feels like a flow of things which are there to be expressed and it is not our role to determine the effect they have, only the quality we are in when we express them which in turn determines what is there to be expressed. Feels amazing when you allow this – expression from the heart.

  21. Being nice and polite is a way of holding back love… especially when we stand in front of someone and don’t mention what is so glaringly obviously going on for them. It’s a level of intimacy we are not willing to go to, for fear of reactions or being perceived as being rude. I love how young children don’t have an issue with expressing truth to another… like pointing out a pimple or how you look tired or your voice has changed etc. The problem is, how the receiving person and their parent responds to that, that either confirms them or squashes them.

  22. It does take love to express something that nice, polite society would keep to itself. If you really love someone, do you let them become overweight, indulge in emotions, foods, substances etc. or would you remind them that they are worthy of a life and love far greater than that?

  23. “Is it possible we don’t like to hear the truth because it requires change on our part?”
    From my own experience I would say yes to your question Caroline, I know that sometimes I am told the truth lovingly so but I am in resistance to it because it means that a change is needed in the way I’m living and sometimes it feels more comfortable to stay as I am. But thankfully my body doesn’t work like that and after a few huffs and puffs from me I make the adjustments and actually feel so much better for the adjustment, much lighter in my body. Then I wonder why I made such a fuss in the first place? It makes no sense in resisting the inevitable which is for us all to return to the absoluteness of who we truly are and not be swayed by the mind that is quite frankly cold and heartless.

  24. We do seem to live in this superficial world where we ask the question ‘how are you’ but we don’t expect anyone to really tell us how they are.
    Interestingly enough when I was asked by people how I was that day I told them with complete honesty how I was feeling which was pretty rough as I hadn’t been well. And surprisingly the people I was engaging with actually opened up themselves and told me how they were that day. It seems to me that it just takes one person to honestly open up and that allows others the same opportunity if they want to take it, the choice is always theirs.

  25. Yes, it is this cushioning of people and situations that keep the world the way it is because if we all shared from our hearts what we truly feel, life would be very very different. I have had so many instances that people say they don’t like the systems that are in place or when things are unfair but they never would say it so someone who could change something about it out of fear of being attacked or affected by it negatively in any other way but this keeps everything the same.

  26. True friends are willing to express lovingly regardless of any reaction on our part as they care too much to let us abuse ourselves.

  27. What a gift you were offered by Alan – the photographic session was extra – the true gem was being offered the opportunity to evolve by recognising that you were not treating yourself lovingly.

  28. It does actually take love to share something that you have observed in a person to support them out of a pattern that is harming them. I find that people can stay in an emotional state for a lifetime as others are unwilling to address it. Instead they might avoid, pander, offer sympathy etc. all of which confirm the person as the lesser being they are behaving and does not offer any way out.

  29. We can be direct and it can be from a true care and concern for another, not in any way a put down as you say but an invitation to say hey I see you and can see something’s up and in that we offer each other the opportunity to be more honest and true to ourselves, and to genuinely support one another.

  30. We’ve really made a big deal out of the truth- to the point where it feels forbidden and life-threatening. Dramatic I know, but it can feel that saying the truth can cause the floor to cave in and swallow everything in sight- such is the fear that we have built up around it. but it’s also not just in verbal expression that we hold back the truth. The way that we move can hold back the truth if we are not moving in connection to ourselves, and this guarantees that the truth will do anything but bubble out of us when it comes to speaking to others.

  31. In niceness nothing ever changes.. we stay stuck in the same patterns, blind to our behaviours that we need others to sometimes point out, lovingly. I hold back out of fear of another’s reaction, and so I make it a big thing, when really, me just being me, and saying what I can feel, with the care and love that is so naturally there, is all that is ever needed. No big deal, no story or drama, just keeping it simple.

  32. It is interesting to observe how much we as a society hold back expressing what we feel or notice so that we don’t ‘upset’ another. However, as you have shared Caroline, there is no greater offering we can share with another that the gift of absolute truth, as we are honouring who they truly are in essence, and of course ourselves equally so. When we allow the truth to be expressed, without protection or reserve, we allow the opportunity for evolution, as such our relationships deepen with a greater connection to love, to who we are in essence.

  33. When we don’t hold back from expressing the truth we offer another an opportunity to deepen and evolve, and if don’t express truth everyone remains silent and we all stay stuck.

  34. “He shared that sometimes things need to be said to support another to look at what is going on for them.” Discussing this with a friend recently. If we don’t – lovingly – call each other out – we may continue blissfully unaware of the harm or reactions we are causing, It is also the ‘how’ we call out. If done lovingly and with understanding rather than from judgement then it can be very supportive.

  35. “Love in expression is a two-way street: we need to be open enough to allow the truth to be expressed and we have to love enough to express the truth when it is needed” – I love this. It is the way I am with others that would determine how they would express themselves with me. If I am obviously so reactive and judgmental, or withdrawn and closed off, I don’t think I can expect anyone to be totally open and honest in how they communicate with me.

  36. And the wonderful thing is , that words expressed truly from the inner heart will never ever leave another feeling less, but will always build a bridge back to re-connection.

  37. Some of the more potential ‘ouch’ situations, have given me the most growth. I think deep down we all want to know the truth, sometimes a comment from a friend can be the impetus to stop the runaway train that you want to stop but dont know how.

  38. It’s beautiful to read of the true love and care that was expressed to you and it reminds me how this is a truly intimate way of expressing with one another, naturally open and not held back by pictures of what we think we should or shouldn’t say…

  39. Truth is light and expanding when allowed and accepted, a very different feeling form niceties that’s for sure.

  40. Love has nothing to do with being sympathetic and being nice or giving my power away in one way or the other and in truth I know what love is as it is inside my body. I am learning to express from there and feel when love is expressed to me, both ways can feel very uncomfortable but as you so beautifully have expressed; ‘Love in expression is a two-way street: we need to be open enough to allow the truth to be expressed and we have to love enough to express the truth when it is needed.

  41. Just gorgeous to read Caroline, to have the truth spoken to you in love what a beautiful gift you gave to each other in your openness to receive Alan’s love, a true blessing for all.

  42. It is a known fact that friends often mirror each other, I have seen it when groups of people come into the cafe I own and they will often dress similar and all order mugs of Cappuccinos.
    In this case, you and Allan are very different people but what you do mirror is the ability to put truth above niceties. The reason you love these qualities in Alan is because you hold them so strong within yourself. Alan and you are two, powerful, truthful and brave people, I appreciate you both.

  43. It may sound strange to what many believe love to be but love is not always feeling comfortable but at times quite challenging. Love comes with truth and vice versa and has really nothing to do with pandering, being nice or sympathy, a lesson most have to learn as the version of love we are familiar with we have learned in our families and often is far from what love truly is.

    1. Very true Alex. The idea of that love is to be always agreeing with someone, making them feel comfortable and that we should not say what we feel because we ‘love’ this person and don’t want to upset them is very strong in society but it is not true love. True love gets us out of unloving behaviours that keep us small and this can at times be challenging or exposing, but I found if I say yes to what has been shared I feel in time much greater than I did before when I was locked in my own lies thinking them to be the truth.

  44. Presented (or confronted) with truth the lies we tell ourselves and hence everyone else are exposed. How to continue living a lie once it is exposed? It only works as long as one can pretend it to be okay or being the truth.

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