A Lesson in Surrender – Be like a Feather

Have you ever observed how a feather floats through the sky, so smoothly and with grace, no matter what is going on around it.

There is not a speck of control as it silkily glides through the air and surrenders to the wind, letting it guide its movements.

In this surrender it becomes one with the wind, no longer individual, but part of the grand symphony of nature’s elements, trusting completely that it will be taken care of in its movements and when it stops.  

Yesterday I spent the day feeling like the feather. I was totally surrendered to my inner connection, the solid, grounded wisdom that lives within, observing all that was happening around me.

I felt exquisitely beautiful, very open with people and able to understand life with ease.

In this surrender, I was moving and expressing as my inner connection impulsed me to be. It was very freeing – I felt safe and supported and there was a confidence within my body that I would naturally know what to do next.

During a lovely and open discussion over dinner with my family, one of them reacted to something I said and responded with a sharp and pointed reply and asked me to stop talking.

In the past, I would have had my own reaction and I would have been very hurt, closing my heart and stepping away from the love I was naturally feeling. This hurt and shutdown would stop me from being able to observe and detach from the situation. I would go into doubt and let thoughts flood my head with the flavour of “Nobody wants me,” or “What I am expressing is too much.”

I would retreat into a corner of my heart and tentatively wait for someone to give me a sign that it was safe to come out again.

This time was very different. It was a defining moment in my learning of how to observe and not absorb.

When my family member spoke, I was able to observe what was going on and support myself to not take the words personally, but to feel and look deeper at what was happening before my eyes.

I did not react and I realised what we were talking about had triggered an old hurt. The retaliation I felt in the comment was because this person was feeling vulnerable as the conversation went deeper, asking us all to go to another level of intimacy with one another.

I could feel the anxiousness come in for them, and the resistance to being more intimate, in case they were not met in this next level of openness and in the way they had allowed themselves to show more of their inner self.

I did not go into sympathy for the hurt they were feeling and no anger exploded in my body.

I was bathed in the holding quality of love from my inner connection and so I remained like the feather – surrendered and knowing what I was to do next was already taken care of.

As I sat, I registered an exquisite open feeling in my body; thoughts did try to enter of “How dare they say that!” but I kept saying no to those and kept coming back to the feeling of warmth that was expanding from my heart.

I held my family member in absolute love, remembering the gorgeous, tender, precious, loving being they naturally are.

Their heated emotion transformed and any anger or hurt they were feeling dissipated from their body. They looked tentatively into my eyes and I met them with a fullness of love and understanding that melted their hesitancy away.

Dinner continued with a more open, intimate and loving discussion. This was a very defining moment for us all, grounding a new level of connection and way to relate as a family.

I was filled with appreciation for my choice to remain like the feather – surrendered to the exquisite love that surrounds us all and to the solid, unwavering wisdom that comes from our inner connection.

I have enormous appreciation for Serge Benhayon and his teachings of the Ageless Wisdom. Without them I would not have re-connected to the truth of how to “Observe and not absorb.”  Thank you Serge, for the ever expanding love and guidance that you bring to humanity.

I have enormous appreciation for Natalie Benhayon, who first presented the analogy of the feather and surrender. This has deepened my understanding of surrender and supported a profound healing. Thank you Natalie, you constantly inspire me with your commitment and your beautiful lived way.

by Bianca Barban, Registered Nurse, Melbourne  

Further Reading:
Learning to observe and not absorb life
The Power of True Surrender

899 thoughts on “A Lesson in Surrender – Be like a Feather

  1. When we bathe ourselves in True-appreciation we are also being Intimate with others that registers an “exquisite open feeling” in-our-bodies”, as we can-not have Intimacy without Appreciation as they are like twins they come as a package, with being Intimate letting people in, and Appreciation being more than a physical thing, but a deeper understanding that there is a divine hand in all we do.

  2. “I was bathed in the holding quality of love from my inner connection and so I remained like the feather – surrendered and knowing what I was to do next was already taken care of.” That’s the key isn’t it, being able to stay in connection to ourselves, not take things personally, and allow others the space to be where they are.

  3. When we hold to what we know to be true and not get caught up with things all around us, like the feather not being influenced by anything, allows a flow that is not swayed off its course as we surrender to what will be.

  4. Dinner discussion at the end of the day should be about resolving issues, learning and sharing the love we feel for each other – which was clearly apparent at your dinner table that evening Bianca. But the beauty is because of this experience and the way you handled it you have set a new marker for everyone at the table that night on how easy it can be to let go, deepen and move of from the old.

  5. When we don’t take on other people’s stuff as personal they get the space to feel it. If we take it on it’s a relief for them until the next time it comes back. When I get to feel my ‘stuff’ (issues/resistances etc.) I get a greater opportunity to let it go rather than passing it on only for it to come back at me at some point. Having space doesn’t allow issues to circulate.

  6. Holding people in space is a great gift you can give as by doing so we all can connect back to who we truly are and are returning to after we have finished this outing outside the plan.

  7. I am sure, and have met, many who would propose that to be like a feather in life means to be weak, and in contrast one must be like a bull to survive this world. I also know that this way of thinking often comes from a past hurt or rejection. So, while the bull runs along, defending its loving heart, there is always room for the possibility of another way, even if ‘being like a feather’ seems too far away from possible.

  8. We learn that reaction and defending ourselves is the way to go, but what you show here is that when we stay open to what is really hurting us, without making the situation into a right and wrong, we can look beyond the emotions that are playing out and can see that they are just an armour we have learned to put on to cope with life.

    1. It is from our protection that we have learned to react to situations as when we would be free of this protection, these reactions would simply not be there.

    2. There is the opportunity to learn we are much more than what is happening around us, and we can stay steady with ourselves and the love we are within.

  9. I can imagine that feeling that level of surrender is easy when you are in a place that is relaxed but it takes practice away from stress-full situations to be able to have the foundation of detachment to the drama but total connection to the Love during the moments of challenge.

  10. “Observe and not absorb.” invites me to be tender, sensitive, open and very delicate in the middle of a world where horrible things happen. It brings me to appreciate the power of change that my presence brings and to not react or fight anything, but to stay awake to read what’s going on with full understanding. Observing what’s my contribution to the reality we live in instead of reacting to it is certainly a powerful way of being.

    1. Thank you Inma, I enjoyed reading your comment and appreciating the wisdom you have shared. This line changes the common situation of reacting to life to appreciation of ourselves “Observing what’s my contribution to the reality we live in instead of reacting to it is certainly a powerful way of being.”

  11. Love the way you held yourself and your family in that situation Bianca. Feels very beautiful remaining steady and gentle no matter what, open from your heart and knowing how gorgeous we equally are, thanks for this powerful sharing

  12. I don’t think I have ever been able to handle and be in a situation like you have so beautifully shared here but can feel it being a possibility for me as well. I can feel how being reactive would be like attaching a sinker to a feather, and it would not allow space for what is there to unfold and be accepted. And also not taking things personally is a big learning for me as well. And as I write this, I can feel how it all goes back to the wanting to be an individual – in resisting surrender and creating a blob in space.

    1. Yes very well said Fumiyo. When we react we create a problem that did not need to be there if we did not want to make it about ourselves instead of the bigger picture and what we can offer in that moment to others.

  13. To surrender like a feather requires us to let go of the denseness we tend to hold onto. If a feather was filled with heaviness it would not be able to flow, surrender and move so graciously in the air. It would come crashing down to the ground like we would when we fill ourselves up with denseness.

  14. It is a great analogy to liken surrendering with the grace and lightness of the movement of a feather. It perfectly reflects to us how to stay with the grace and flow of our natural way of being rather than react and try to control something. We are only affected when we choose to separate from the quality of our inner connection.

  15. So gorgeous to read this beautiful blog again Bianca, just feeling the analogy of the feather puts my body into that feeling of trust that true surrender brings,we often go into control with the mistaken idea that this will keep us safe, when surrendering to the love within and being impulsed by that love is the safest way of being.

    1. So true Jill, surrender is definitely the safest way to be and our body resonates with this quality in a deeply healing way. A majority of humanity doesn’t allow ourselves to surrender because we are aligned to an energy that pushes us to go into drive and control.

    1. Yes, it does Willem and we tend to not trust that everything is taken care of because it is not openly accepted or spoken about that we are more than just physical human beings. The truth of who we are has not been fully accepted and we then miss out on the love and guidance that is constantly offered to us.

  16. I can see why you relate to surrender as like being a feather, it is light, it flows with the movement of the air and has zero control. It is amazing how nature reminds us of these qualities we have within us too.

  17. ‘This hurt and shutdown would stop me from being able to observe and detach from the situation.’ So true Bianca, when we hold onto our hurts we are unable to observe our situation in a clear way, when we respond rather than react to what happens around us we get to read the bigger picture at play and learn from this.

  18. What is there to be expressed next is known in the body, that is surrender lived, and when we allow that, and allow ourselves to observe life we are indeed a feather and there is a love, an openness and an ease in how we are and an allowing for both ourselves and others around us.

  19. A beautiful example of when we do not react to a situation, but stay steady and open with ourselves (and others), on some level the situation changes. Feathers may be light, but in their non imposition and flow, there is a strength.

  20. It is key to know oneself, one’s innermost and therefore being part of the greater whole, as otherwise we may surrender to something that is not of our innate true being and thus eventually causing a deep devastation and mistrust. The hurt sits deep in us until we find our way back to who we are, surrender the entanglements, involvements and identifications with what is not of our true being and once again surrender to what we truly belong to.

  21. I have the sense of the feather, blown rather suddenly by a gust of wind, not resisting in any way, but simply resuming its surrendered path once the gust had passed by. Lovely sharing, thank you Bianca.

    1. And there is absolute trust in a feather as in where it will land and without control or needing to change direction because it simply goes with the flow.

  22. I loved reading this Bianca, surrender to how a feather would be, as it falls graciously, untouched to the ground and that’s a reflection for us in every situation, how we need to be more and more gracious and untouched.

  23. When we surrender to the stillness we hold within there is a lightness to our movements, that is deeply felt when observed and is extremely graceful, just like watching a feather floating in the breeze.

    1. Thanks Sally, that lightness you observe helps to deepen the lesson from this blog for me. If I’m not attached to the outcome then I’m more likely to feel which way the true path is taking me.

    2. So true Sally, in surrender our movements are certainly light and graceful. When we move like a feather we are able to clear a lot in our path through inspiration and the quality of our movements.

  24. ” appreciation for my choice to remain like the feather – surrendered to the exquisite love that surrounds us all ”
    So true there is nothing but love all around us , if we would only be it, ” be love”

  25. “I met them with a fullness of love and understanding that melted their hesitancy away”. True love melts and it is the most exquisite feeling when someone holds you in it (or you them) and the anger/hesitation/anxiousness etc… melts and you return to you.

  26. Thank you Bianca, for sharing this revelation of how in our surrender to love we are part of a greater whole, moved by a quality that is the same within us all. We then realise and can feel that in any situation a reaction or resistance is nothing personal, in which we then can respond with the truth and love that is honouring of our equalness.

  27. So much is said here. One in the truth of surrender and what this actually is, and also, how instead of going into reaction, blame, hurt or judgement about what another has said, to instead take a step back and read and respond to the situation while holding the other person in love. It is not about being better than another, or being ‘perfect’, as there is no such thing. Instead what you have given is simple and practical ways we can first appreciate something about what we ourselves bring, and be all of this and respond and hold others in love rather than react. And also, yes the wisdom and truth that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine live and present is indeed deeply inspiring ..’observe not absorb’ being one of them, something as all of humanity we need to learn.

  28. As a feather duster can clear away the tangled cobwebs, so too can surrender to the love that we are clear the tangles that we create in our lives.

    1. After I wrote a comment I looked up and read this .. such beauty in what you have shared here, so simple and so touching in the way you have expressed, indeed feels like a feather floating down .. exquisite.

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