Developing a relationship with and connecting to and playfully exploring my essence, was something presented to me by Natalie Benhayon at the end of a revealing and amazing Esoteric ovary massage. Natalie has a depth of wisdom and is a true inspiration to me; the authority of her livingness is incontrovertible. She holds an unapologetic, unwavering solidness of love and an equal-ness for all others within her – especially from her eyes.
I had an understanding that the underlying themes that came up in each session had their own revelations – a deepening of understanding Who I Truly Am. The integrity that each practitioner brought to their session through their own level of care and steadiness was very obvious. It was palpable and truly undeniable that I too have this deep level of love, sensitivity, stillness and solidness in me. However with this, I could also see the patterns, behaviours and choices I have been using to hold it all back. I can now see how:
- Dealing with my hurts and being honest supports me to clearly feel and express from my essence.
- I am love first. There is no need for judgment or critique.
- I can give myself the space I need when a situation arises and allow myself to be sensitive, understanding what is going on before I respond.
This was easy to feel, listen to and speak honestly about during the sessions. The practitioners all shared in a way that came with understanding, allowing me to determine if what they said was true for me or not, and this was very empowering.
From my session with Natalie Benhayon, and the simple idea of playfully exploring my essence, I have been empowered to deepen my connection with myself every day.
I have been playing with and exploring my essence by creating space for moments to stop, connect and feel by:
- Laying and surrendering for short spaces of time, closing my eyes and allowing myself to just be and connect to who I am – such as when I wake in the morning or before sleep at night I lay, allowing my body to surrender, allowing myself to just feel. In these moments I can feel a delicateness that feels like a precious, fine yet strong, gold chain.
- Consciously keeping my thoughts with what my body is doing. Playfully feeling how my deep care and love is expressed in my movements in my simple daily actions – such as being attentive to the quality in which I make breakfast for everyone, how I lovingly get ready in the morning, the tenderness I set my class up in or registering how delicate my hand is as I write on the board.
- Really claiming the purity of my essence, and what I know is me, the true me, and claiming that as normal. I feel the deep gorgeousness within me, no longer identifying the patterns, behaviours or ways of being that I have learnt growing up, as being me. I am what I feel deep in my heart and very much learning to live that love in my actions and words today.
- Not identifying with the doubting thoughts, unsupportive ways or patterns as being me. Simply catching any thought or behaviours that feel false and that don’t belong with the loveliness I feel from my heart.
By lovingly supporting myself in this way I can feel:
- My body, my mind and my being in connection as one,
- A harmonious flow throughout my body,
- An ancient knowing and an absoluteness that my essence is who I am – my connection to my Soul and God,
- Understanding that when I choose to connect to my essence and express from there, that I am in fact directly expressing from my Soul and my connection to God through my physical body,
- Inspired to confirm ME by supporting my body.
I am: Strong, Harmonious, Graceful, Still, Sacred, Truth, Delicate, Sweet, Tender, Divine, Loving, Silky, Beholding, Gathering, Beautiful, Unifying, Rhythmical, Flowing, Authoritative, Precious, Unwavering, Solid, Equal, Powerful and knowing that God is within me.
By choosing to live this connection every day, developing a relationship with and expressing the divinity of my essence, I am constantly with every choice I make, confirming Who I truly Am and Who We ALL are.
By Johanna Smith, Perth WA, Bachelor of Education