Developing a Relationship – with my Essence

Developing a relationship with and connecting to and playfully exploring my essence, was something presented to me by Natalie Benhayon at the end of a revealing and amazing Esoteric ovary massage. Natalie has a depth of wisdom and is a true inspiration to me; the authority of her livingness is incontrovertible. She holds an unapologetic, unwavering solidness of love and an equal-ness for all others within her – especially from her eyes.

Natalie’s session was for me the last of a series of sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners. Each session stood on its own, whilst also being part of a whole unfolding package of myself.

I had an understanding that the underlying themes that came up in each session had their own revelations – a deepening of understanding Who I Truly Am. The integrity that each practitioner brought to their session through their own level of care and steadiness was very obvious. It was palpable and truly undeniable that I too have this deep level of love, sensitivity, stillness and solidness in me. However with this, I could also see the patterns, behaviours and choices I have been using to hold it all back. I can now see how:

  • Dealing with my hurts and being honest supports me to clearly feel and express from my essence.
  • I am love first. There is no need for judgment or critique.
  • I can give myself the space I need when a situation arises and allow myself to be sensitive, understanding what is going on before I respond.

This was easy to feel, listen to and speak honestly about during the sessions. The practitioners all shared in a way that came with understanding, allowing me to determine if what they said was true for me or not, and this was very empowering.

From my session with Natalie Benhayon, and the simple idea of playfully exploring my essence, I have been empowered to deepen my connection with myself every day.

I have been playing with and exploring my essence by creating space for moments to stop, connect and feel by:

  • Laying and surrendering for short spaces of time, closing my eyes and allowing myself to just be and connect to who I am – such as when I wake in the morning or before sleep at night I lay, allowing my body to surrender, allowing myself to just feel. In these moments I can feel a delicateness that feels like a precious, fine yet strong, gold chain.
  • Consciously keeping my thoughts with what my body is doing. Playfully feeling how my deep care and love is expressed in my movements in my simple daily actions – such as being attentive to the quality in which I make breakfast for everyone, how I lovingly get ready in the morning, the tenderness I set my class up in or registering how delicate my hand is as I write on the board.
  • Really claiming the purity of my essence, and what I know is me, the true me, and claiming that as normal. I feel the deep gorgeousness within me, no longer identifying the patterns, behaviours or ways of being that I have learnt growing up, as being me. I am what I feel deep in my heart and very much learning to live that love in my actions and words today.
  • Not identifying with the doubting thoughts, unsupportive ways or patterns as being me. Simply catching any thought or behaviours that feel false and that don’t belong with the loveliness I feel from my heart.

By lovingly supporting myself in this way I can feel:

  • My body, my mind and my being in connection as one,
  • A harmonious flow throughout my body,
  • An ancient knowing and an absoluteness that my essence is who I am – my connection to my Soul and God,
  • Understanding that when I choose to connect to my essence and express from there, that I am in fact directly expressing from my Soul and my connection to God through my physical body,
  • Inspired to confirm ME by supporting my body.

I am: Strong, Harmonious, Graceful, Still, Sacred, Truth, Delicate, Sweet, Tender, Divine, Loving, Silky, Beholding, Gathering, Beautiful, Unifying, Rhythmical, Flowing, Authoritative, Precious, Unwavering, Solid, Equal, Powerful and knowing that God is within me.

By choosing to live this connection every day, developing a relationship with and expressing the divinity of my essence, I am constantly with every choice I make, confirming Who I truly Am and Who We ALL are.

With great appreciation for the reflection and support of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine, all the Practitioners and the Student Body.

By Johanna Smith, Perth WA, Bachelor of Education

Further Reading:
Essence
Packaging and Opening Us Up
Returning to Our Essence

886 thoughts on “Developing a Relationship – with my Essence

  1. An inspiring post Johanna. “By choosing to live this connection every day, developing a relationship with and expressing the divinity of my essence, I am constantly with every choice I make, confirming Who I truly Am and Who We ALL are.” One day we will all live this way.

  2. This line captured my heart so beautifully this morning Johanna “My body, my mind and my being in connection as one.” When we move as one with our body, mind and being a beautiful synergy occurs and our essence just glows. I find connecting to the simplicity of our daily movements to really highlight the purpose of my day and also the grace and flow of my body is really highlighted too.

  3. Thank you for sharing Johanna what you say here means a lot to me
    “By choosing to live this connection every day, developing a relationship with and expressing the divinity of my essence, I am constantly with every choice I make, confirming Who I truly Am and Who We ALL are.”
    As I allow myself to deepen and return to my natural essence, I know/feel it has to be shared with everyone it is not something that can be kept to oneself everyone needs to feel where we are all from, we have all stayed so far away from who we naturally are.

  4. Taking moments to confirm our essence feels like a great support and allows us to respond to life rather than react from our old hurts, judgments and prejudices. None of them are true, only an overlay on top of something, our essence, that is forever untarnished and whole.

  5. beautiful to read and feel that it is about being comfortable with living our essence and the effects it has on our life. In truth we all know what is our essence it is only for us to re-develop this true relationship with ourself and the divinity that is held within.

  6. This is great Johanna. The way we have commonly become is in a flow that is ill, and it is these things you have shared like “laying down to close your eyes” or exploring how we are in our daily actions allows us to see there may be a more harmonious flow.

  7. Being able to be still when there is chaos around us and staying steady when we feel hurt or find ourselves in harmful or abusive situations, staying open to the love that is continually present in and around us, this is what happens when we are connected to our essence. To be in this continual flow is not something that just happens, we have to choose it. Attending presentations with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and having sessions with practitioners as you have done supports this choice in us and also gives us tools to keep our connection going or to reconnect when we lose it.

  8. A true practitioner will not try to fix us or impose any ideals on us, they reflect to us the love, stillness, beauty and wisdom that is within us and inspire us to reconnect to that. In doing that we then see what is in the way of and can choose to let go of that, knowing it is not us.

  9. Johanna, I enjoy your description of delicateness as a ‘precious, fine yet strong, gold chain’. Delicateness is not weak or fragile, and the more we connect to it in our body the stronger we feel – it’s not a physical solidity but a deep foundation of knowing our precious worth as divine beings.

  10. It is such a gift to have someone in our lives who expresses in this way, who expresses without reservation, solidly committed to living that consistently as a reflection to others. I too am inspired by this and I appreciate that without reading your blog this morning I might not have known this was the reminder I needed!

  11. Not allowing thoughts of self doubt to enter – a big one for me, but as I stop allowing that self indulgence and remember who I truly am and replace those thoughts with acceptance and appreciation they are definitely reducing in number.

  12. I love to be with myself first thing on waking, to feel my body, my stillness. I used to wake and mentally go through my to-do list – no longer. Practicing Esoteric Yoga in the mornings is also a beautiful way to start the day.

  13. The simplicity along with the awesomeness of one´s essence are not from this world but easily being lived as the true normal in an ordinary everyday life.

  14. We already are everything we can be but still need to undo everything that keeps us from being who we already are – it is these both elements that allow us to heal and unfold: appreciating and embracing who we are and working on the patterns and identifications that hold us back from living who we are.

  15. “I can give myself the space I need when a situation arises and allow myself to be sensitive, understanding what is going on before I respond.” I have found when I do give myself space to answer questions or speak with another it brings our connection to a deeper level and a greater understanding and respect for one another is felt and deeply appreciated too.

    1. This feels very loving and supportive Kellyzarb. To explore this playful way of expressing feels expansive and loving. I have noticed when we express from a place of recognition there is a tightness and urgency to express leaving us no space in between conversations to expand and learn.

  16. Thank you for Johanna for your sharing. There is much we can all learn from your blog about developing as relationship with our own essence.

  17. When we lovingly support ourselves by regularly stopping and deepening our connection with ourselves and our body we are able to live from the love and delicateness we feel within and bring a divine quality and knowing into our every day way of being.

  18. I can feel as I read this how much judgement I have held over myself at times and how this has affected the way I thought of myself and hence directly affected my personal relationship with God.

  19. Allowing the space to be patient and understanding with ourselves builds a loving support in deepening our relationship with ourselves while we discard the old patterns and behaviours we have accepted as being a part of us but which are not a true part of us.

  20. Holding my self with a super light and gentle approach is revealing some wonderful feedback from my body. This is like a snow-ball playfully gathering more of what it already understands to be part of the whole. More and more of my qualities are magnetically pulled to join the previous one. It is simply happening and I’m observing this, there is no thinking or effort it is simply is.

  21. It’s amazing to consider that our essence remains constant and is untouched by the events of life and that we can get to know who we are from our essence through our everyday loving choices.

  22. This for me started with the simple acknowledgement that there is something amazing underneath everything and all of my “faults”. Something that’s not tangible yet, but it sure is there!

  23. If you do not know that you have an essence, you will never consider the possibility of developing a relationship with it. Even if you do know that you have an essence, you may not consider that developing a relationship with it is a possibility or even that it works in your advantage. And this is the point, we have a relationship with everything (and everything with us) and unless we work on it, it is simply what it is.

  24. When we have forgotten how to reconnect to our essence, I find the tools in your blog Johanna feels very supportive and deeply loving. You have inspired me to be more aware and to take regular stop moments wherever I am throughout my day to reconnect to who I am.

  25. Our greatest relationship in life is with our essence, by uncovering who we truly are and living, to the best of our ability, from this loving and harmonious space, provides a platform for every relationship we have in life whether this be with our body, with others or with the universe and beyond.

  26. There are some fabulous tips here for anyone wanting to explore their essence and make that their focus, rather than the behaviours and ill patterns we often identify ourselves with. Dealing with hurts felt super important, or its like trying to access something through a smokescreen. I also loved the moments of just laying down and surrendering to feel exactly what that essence feels like. The more we know it, the more we will not get fooled or lured by any false identities.

    1. Yes, I agree Fiona. Healing our hurts is key to reconnecting to our essence. I noticed I have more layer of hurt to heal but thankfully they are not huge thick layers. It is something I have become aware of that I have chosen to hold onto them almost like a safety blanket. It sounds strange why I would choose this but the great things is I now know I have the choice to let go of these layers of hurt otherwise they certainly do block my connection to my essence. There is no joy or love when I am disconnected and this is how I felt most of my life. I am slowly rebuilding my relationship with my essence and this feels amazing.

  27. I love that you were presented with the possibility of ‘playfully exploring my essence’ as I have a tendency to approach things with earnestness about getting it right (whatever that might be) which means I am losing the joy within before I start. This is so inspiring and brings a lightness to all we do when applied throughout life.

  28. So supportive to read your practical examples of how you have developed a relationship with your essence and for me one of the key areas is ‘Not identifying with the doubting thoughts’ understanding that I have the choice to observe them and choose to not go there.

  29. I keep coming back to your awesome blog Johanna because I am learning to reconnect to my essence and express from my essence. I love the reminder to be playful and appreciate each step.

  30. For so long I believed and felt that all the heaviness had to leave my body first before I could have Joy and Harmony in my life. These days I now feel that perception itself was the weight as I can connect to my essence in any moment and anything that isn’t of that same light/energy leaves without even trying.

  31. Confirming me by supporting my body, taking each moment as it presents and not getting ahead with thoughts is my chosen way for today, with all the loving tender guidance that is called for. Today is a day to respond playfully to the call of what supports my connection.

  32. What is beautiful about connecting to my essence is that it gives a sense of connecting to something universal and a sense of that I am not just me but connected to something much bigger in which we are all equal. So not expressing me but something true for everyone. Yet there is also a very unique quality at the same time of my expression of this universality which is delicious.

  33. Thank you Johanna, what you have shared here in your blog are some very practical and empowering tips to constantly deepen our relationship with ourselves that we can all practice throughout our day. I know I will be!

  34. “I feel the deep gorgeousness within me, no longer identifying the patterns, behaviours or ways of being that I have learnt growing up, as being me. I am what I feel deep in my heart and very much learning to live that love in my actions and words today.” Identifying that one is not one’s behaviour patterns and can instead live from one’s heart is truly liberating.

  35. Few of us realise how little we take time each day to connect with our own body, to feel the love that is within each of us, and know we are already all we need within.

  36. I agree Heather, so often we move through life just going through the motions- not in the full enjoyment of how life can truly be, as Johanna describes and is my experience too- this first has to come from a connection to our essence and allowing this to come out and be lived.

  37. “Playfully feeling how my deep care and love is expressed in my movements in my simple daily actions – such as being attentive to the quality ……. ” Moving with presence and quality is something I am working with – and is making a huge difference to how I feel about myself. This then affects everyone with whom I come into contact – as did when I moved harshly and without any care – shudders!

  38. If we do not develop a strong conscious connection with who we truly are, we can be easily led astray by paths that pander to what we need…which is to fill the emptiness which stems from our lack of connection. Hence true connection equals true prevention of all issues and problems we otherwise experience.

  39. ‘ Not identifying with the doubting thoughts, unsupportive ways or patterns as being me. ‘ this is so super supportive to read as I find an old pattern/trick to berate myself is to do behaviours that then I go, there see you are not great etc. Now I’m on to this trick in all its guises I know I am love first, I can then observe from an understanding of what it is that I allow that then manifests in behaviours that aren’t me.

  40. There is nothing more powerful than living claimed as who we truly are, where we can live life dealing with situations that arise without compromising the quality of our beingness as that then becomes our pillar from which we can express and offer true healing for all others.

  41. Beautifull blog to read that is supportive to others and would have been supportive and confirming for you to write. In all of this what resonated with me today was the part you mentioned about surrendering. ‘Laying and surrendering for short spaces of time, closing my eyes and allowing myself to just be and connect to who I am’. I realised just how little I do this. So I stopped half way through reading your blog, I took a moment for me. I surrendered within and I can feel such a difference in my body now so thank you.

  42. Starting with the fact that we are love 1st and foremost is one of the fundamental qualities I have found with Esoteric Healing. Yes we may have strayed way away from the essence and love that we are but no matter what this can never be muddied just covered over and suppressed. We are not intrinsically bad people and remembering this fact takes away self judgement and self criticism as well as judgement of others. The whole world spins set up to take us away from ourselves.

  43. Understanding who we are and who we are not is fundamental, for otherwise it is very easy to be hard on ourselves and judge others for their actions…

  44. When I am in Natalie’s presence I am brought back to a deep knowing within me. A beauty and a grace that I am reconnected too. What I feel in her I know is also within me and seeing her live it inspires me to bring more of this out.

  45. Johanna, this article is so beautiful to read, ‘the tenderness I set my class up in or registering how delicate my hand is as I write on the board.’ I love your simple examples of how you stay present in your body and how you are aware of your essence in your day to day, thank you for the inspiration.

  46. Reading this I can feel how being judgmental of myself had kept me separate from connecting with my essence for much of my life. It was like I had this ‘go to’ pattern so as to avoid seeing and feeling the amazingness that resides deep within me. Once I clocked this and brought honesty and understanding as to how and why this was playing our in my life, I was then able to commence my journey of building a loving and joyful relationship with my essence.

  47. In a world that is driven by constant motion, as women we are set up to be disconnected from our most powerful tool that can connect us back to our essence and that is stop moments and stillness in movement. Its beautiful that in this time you have been able to live as a busy woman in a modern world whilst simultaneously developing a relationship with a deeper part of yourself.

  48. Thank you Johanna for a very beautiful and inspiring blog, just by reading I can feel the deep beauty that you describe, lies within me also, I love all the ways that you give of how you confirm this in yourself.

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