Developing a Relationship – with my Essence

Developing a relationship with and connecting to and playfully exploring my essence, was something presented to me by Natalie Benhayon at the end of a revealing and amazing Esoteric ovary massage. Natalie has a depth of wisdom and is a true inspiration to me; the authority of her livingness is incontrovertible. She holds an unapologetic, unwavering solidness of love and an equal-ness for all others within her – especially from her eyes.

Natalie’s session was for me the last of a series of sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners. Each session stood on its own, whilst also being part of a whole unfolding package of myself.

I had an understanding that the underlying themes that came up in each session had their own revelations – a deepening of understanding Who I Truly Am. The integrity that each practitioner brought to their session through their own level of care and steadiness was very obvious. It was palpable and truly undeniable that I too have this deep level of love, sensitivity, stillness and solidness in me. However with this, I could also see the patterns, behaviours and choices I have been using to hold it all back. I can now see how:

  • Dealing with my hurts and being honest supports me to clearly feel and express from my essence.
  • I am love first. There is no need for judgment or critique.
  • I can give myself the space I need when a situation arises and allow myself to be sensitive, understanding what is going on before I respond.

This was easy to feel, listen to and speak honestly about during the sessions. The practitioners all shared in a way that came with understanding, allowing me to determine if what they said was true for me or not, and this was very empowering.

From my session with Natalie Benhayon, and the simple idea of playfully exploring my essence, I have been empowered to deepen my connection with myself every day.

I have been playing with and exploring my essence by creating space for moments to stop, connect and feel by:

  • Laying and surrendering for short spaces of time, closing my eyes and allowing myself to just be and connect to who I am – such as when I wake in the morning or before sleep at night I lay, allowing my body to surrender, allowing myself to just feel. In these moments I can feel a delicateness that feels like a precious, fine yet strong, gold chain.
  • Consciously keeping my thoughts with what my body is doing. Playfully feeling how my deep care and love is expressed in my movements in my simple daily actions – such as being attentive to the quality in which I make breakfast for everyone, how I lovingly get ready in the morning, the tenderness I set my class up in or registering how delicate my hand is as I write on the board.
  • Really claiming the purity of my essence, and what I know is me, the true me, and claiming that as normal. I feel the deep gorgeousness within me, no longer identifying the patterns, behaviours or ways of being that I have learnt growing up, as being me. I am what I feel deep in my heart and very much learning to live that love in my actions and words today.
  • Not identifying with the doubting thoughts, unsupportive ways or patterns as being me. Simply catching any thought or behaviours that feel false and that don’t belong with the loveliness I feel from my heart.

By lovingly supporting myself in this way I can feel:

  • My body, my mind and my being in connection as one,
  • A harmonious flow throughout my body,
  • An ancient knowing and an absoluteness that my essence is who I am – my connection to my Soul and God,
  • Understanding that when I choose to connect to my essence and express from there, that I am in fact directly expressing from my Soul and my connection to God through my physical body,
  • Inspired to confirm ME by supporting my body.

I am: Strong, Harmonious, Graceful, Still, Sacred, Truth, Delicate, Sweet, Tender, Divine, Loving, Silky, Beholding, Gathering, Beautiful, Unifying, Rhythmical, Flowing, Authoritative, Precious, Unwavering, Solid, Equal, Powerful and knowing that God is within me.

By choosing to live this connection every day, developing a relationship with and expressing the divinity of my essence, I am constantly with every choice I make, confirming Who I truly Am and Who We ALL are.

With great appreciation for the reflection and support of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine, all the Practitioners and the Student Body.

By Johanna Smith, Perth WA, Bachelor of Education

Further Reading:
Packaging and Opening Us Up
Returning to Our Essence

974 thoughts on “Developing a Relationship – with my Essence

  1. Understanding that we are love first and foremost, is, I feel something we all struggle with as we have been lacking this much needed reflection for a long time. I know that I have been holding onto my hurts as a form of protection, not realising that by doing so I am denying myself the one thing we all crave, and that is to be met in and with the purity of love. When someone sees past all the hurts, ideals and beliefs to the very core of our being and sees that we are innocent and unsullied and reflects that back, then it is possible to start the road back to feeling this love within us again, so that it can sustain us in a world that doesn’t want humanity to return or reconnect back to their true roots which is the love we all want, but do not realise is still there within us, just waiting to be reconnected to again.

  2. Developing a relationship with my essence is a work in progress. Whilst there are many things about my innate qualities that I know I bring, I find that I am discovering more and going deeper with the ones I have already claimed!

  3. Appreciation of our essences is what comes through in what you have shared Johanna, and to appreciate our divinity in this way will hold us in the glory of being in our essence.

  4. You need not spend hours, days & months to reconnect – there is an opportunity with every breath, every step & every move.

  5. What you share about Natalie here is so very true … she has ‘a depth of wisdom and is a true inspiration to me; the authority of her livingness is incontrovertible. She holds an unapologetic, unwavering solidness of love and an equal-ness for all others within her – especially from her eyes.’ The quality and depth of her livingness can clearly be felt. It is quite something showing all that is possible to live.

  6. To consider we are not encouraged to be tender, sensitive and aware of the energy that impulses us shows how easy the set up is for us not to value those things about ourselves; yet when you consider them to be part of our essence we learn to deny who we are at a very young age and then spend so much of our life trying to rediscover and reclaim that essence.

  7. When we surrender we can feel our true qualities, all of these you have mentioned in the paragraph above. They seem like they’re new because we have lived in disconnection, we have let them go. But underneath it all is a familiarity of an old way of being, walking and moving.

  8. When anyone returns to their essence it’s very deeply beautiful. Great to read this “I am love first. There is no need for judgment or critique.” It offers a foundation to truly change our relationship with ourselves and others, knowing that when we are not able to be love then an energy is passing through us that is not who we truly are.

  9. “Developing a relationship with and connecting to and playfully exploring my essence,” with being playful as we reconnect to our essence stops it from being felt as heavy and serious but light and a joy to know who you are.

  10. When we ignore and don’t deal with our hurts they can either lead to the creation of other issues or get buried even deeper – both of which just perpetuates the cycle all the more.

  11. No matter what situation, what has been said, who we are with, or why… just that simple reminder that ‘I am love first’ can change our relationship to it all so deeply we hardly recognise the situation anymore!

    1. Yes it depersonalises things and therefore we are offered clearer senses to see, hear and feel what is going on without the cloud of emotions.

  12. Developing an honouring relationship with my essence has been the most incredibly inspiring journey. In re-discovering the innate sacredness we hold within is everything we are, we realise that living in connection to and in honor of this quality is what allows us to naturally live the power of who we are.

  13. ‘I am what I feel deep in my heart and very much learning to live that love in my actions and words today.’ This the foundation for all of us in every day life and we learn through all we experience and through every choice we make, making mistakes and learn from them, that is the way we grow lovingly.

  14. I feel a wave of stillness and appreciation sweep through when I read this, simply being, breathing and surrendering to our essence, who we are in truth. Allowing space for this relationship to develop and bloom, from accepting what is already there.

  15. Natalie Benhayon’s remarkableness is something to be celebrated because she is showing us that we are all equally remarkable should we choose like her to be impulsed by our soul instead of our long relied on, to our great detriment, spirit.

  16. Not identifying with negative thoughts – and knowing that our thoughts are not who we are- is one of the greatest tools or gifts we can offer to ourselves. It leaves us feeling more spacious, more at ease with ourselves and whatever is going on around us.

  17. Thank you Johanna for an inspiring article, I love all the ways you have developed your relationship with your essence this I am feeling to do with much more commitment to truly knowing and embracing of who I truly am.

  18. Reading this blog, I had to marvel at how different an Esoteric session is compared to the ones I used to have and still hear about from other people. To have the focus about re-discovering your essence in a very practical way is so different. There is no fixing or sympathising. There is instead a steady knowing that we are all divine and have that at our core. It is for us to do the healing and let go of all the other stuff that makes us think and live as though we are anything less.

  19. This is just exquisite. So lovely to feel how it is in our every moment that we confirm our essence in the way we move, and it is a reconnection, a confirmation, we are that already and nothing needs cultivating.

  20. What a beauty and gosh we need to live more from our authority as it comes with so much power and appreciation that makes life so much more enjoyable and truly purposeful to live in.

  21. Absolute gold, simple and true “Consciously keeping my thoughts with what my body is doing.” How many of do this as a regular movement, habit, can we be in the moment? It is of great worth to explore this in life.

    1. Yes, the practical nature of bringing the mind and the body to one moment and living that moment in full offers all our senses to be present to respond. What a blessing for our nervous system to only have to live one moment!!!

  22. “and the simple idea of playfully exploring my essence, I have been empowered to deepen my connection with myself every day.” I love what you have shared Johanna, life for me has been a serious matter, religion has been a serious matter. As I read your blog I just love the word playful, it is very much there for me to lighten up and enjoy my life with love and appreciation of where I have come to in my unfolding path.

  23. When it comes to who we are it really is a process of reclaiming it, we’ve given ourselves over to so many things and there is so much that can hook us in and define us, so many ways we can doubt ourselves, we really have to claim back that we are amazing, and all this other stuff we’ve allowed is history in the making.

  24. From our essence we see all. The greatness of love and the games to hide, to deny or even fight against all what we are. It is the place to observe life and ourselves with no judgment or critique, it is the place from which we all can evolve.

  25. Love the meaning of ‘learning to live from my essence’. This is choice, free of perfection and full of humbleness that brings so much joy in my life. Like you Johanna I can relate how beautifully supported I am everytime that I receive a session from an esoteric practicioner to confirm and develop more trust in what I feel from my body instead of being ruled by my mind as I did in the past. Reading your sharing feels very inspiring, thank you.

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