The Unspoken Voice of Truth

Since I can remember, I have been known as the ‘loud mouth,’ the child that said the inappropriate things and the one who embarrassed adults in their white and black lies.

For example, I never believed in Santa. At the age of about 2 or 3 I told my mother that I knew she was Santa because her handwriting was on my Christmas card from the alleged white-bearded man – so obvious, isn’t it!? Roughly around a similar time, knowing that the nursery is going to ask my parents to buy our Christmas presents, I asked for the smallest and most modest (cheapest) toy I could think of because I didn’t want my mum and dad to spend money on my toys that I could sense we had no money for.

Looking back now at this quality I held as a child, I can see what a gift it could have been for my parents, teachers and everybody around. Over the last year or so, whilst living with a woman who does not back down in front of anything in the name of integrity, somebody who would literally (in her own words) “take a bullet for truth,” I have begun to reconnect to that same long lost ability. The ability all human beings share, but do not necessarily practice, to see between the lines and question out loud that which does not seem quite right.

However, I have definitely not been welcoming this with open arms and a ‘hallelujah.’ When I get pulled up it feels exposing. Where I originally come from there’s an expression: “you look like you’ve just stomped the spring onions,” which basically means, you look like you pooed your pants as we like to say in English.

But the feeling is so real. It’s like somebody has just found your dirty laundry and is putting it out for all the neighbours to see. And that’s exactly what is happening: our dirty secrets come out and we begin to realise that we may not be ‘The Good Samaritan’ that likes to help everybody. In fact we could be doing all of the altruistic deeds out of a need to be liked, approved of and recognised. So in truth, we are then more of a manipulative Samaritan – yep, hurts to admit.

When exposed in my so called ‘good’ ways, I can often sulk for days thinking of all of the things I could have said in the conversation which could prove that I was right, that I am ‘good.’ I attack the person with my own thoughts like: “how dare they,” “this is my truth,” “they expect too much of me,” and so much more. However, underneath all of this I have a knowing that what has been presented to me is truth and I cannot alter it, even if I tried.

So we have created a society where we actually encourage people to learn to calculate the most appropriate thing to say in order to keep everybody around ‘happy’ and ‘at peace.’ We make it even more difficult for others to express truth by confronting and attacking the ones who do hold onto the truth, so the ones who choose to comply with the lies can float through the shallow waters of life untouched and untroubled by the outside world.

This path of dishonesty for me has accumulated deep levels of frustration, anger and aggression that have literally made my bones hurt. Anger towards myself for knowing truth so strongly when I see it and feel it, and yet, I choose to remain sitting quietly at the front of the classroom of life, putting my hand up to speak up only when I know that my answers will give me that grade A for compliance and will not ruffle any feathers.

What’s important here is that I know I am not alone in this experience. Someone close to me used to warn me that if I continue to speak without thinking twice first, I will most definitely end up in a marriage where I will get abused. This ‘warning’ came because they witnessed their mother get beaten on a daily basis exactly for the same reason.

But what I have found much worse is the attack we cast upon ourselves by holding back, by not saying the thing that is on the tip of our tongue, the thing that may cause a reaction of any sort in another but the exact same thing which may change one’s life or the life of many others. Forever.

We are afraid of speaking up because we all know what happens to the people who do: Rosa Parks got arrested, Martin Luther King got shot, Jesus was crucified and the loudest i.e. most outspoken child at school receives accolade of academic consequences, detentions and exclusions.

But perhaps it’s time to start considering what happens when we don’t speak up and the self-abusive behaviours this can often lead to, such as eating disorders as it may have happened in the case of Lady Diana, or the devastating depression which left Robin Williams feeling like the only way out was through taking his own life, or any of the other celebrities and people in general who develop drug and alcohol dependencies which can often lead to an overdose and another life lost.

It may be worth questioning whether any of these behaviours would even have a base to develop if we as a society were more honest and open to hearing and expressing what needs to be heard and or said.

After all, we can all feel truth, so why aren’t we all voicing it?

By Viktoria Stoykova, London, UK

Further Reading:
The importance of expressing truth
Truth – I Can Feel it in my Bones
Truth about Little White Lies

 

385 thoughts on “The Unspoken Voice of Truth

  1. The world really needs those ‘loud mouth kids’ who expose the lies of adults. Otherwise there are no checks on the truth we are kidding ourselves about and no end to how far from the truth we may stray.

  2. It turns things around when we begin to see how not speaking the truth affects us in daily life. What if people who are over weight, use drugs or are aggressive are actually super sensitive but have not learnt how to express this and how to be with this in the world?

    1. And what I love about children is they often just say what they see and feel without holding back which is such a breath of fresh air. I hear and remember hearing so often ‘you shouldn’t say that’ which slowly but surely stops this natural expression. We all have so much to bring to the World – everyone, including oursleves, miss out when we don’t.

  3. Agree, dampening our expression of who we are results in illness. It takes practice, but with due commitment and care we can free ourselves from our inability to say what feels true, stand by it and walk with it. We do all know what feels true.

  4. Yes Viktoria! We live in the house of lies and so when anyone expresses honestly or truly it is a bit of a shock to those around (who also themselves have spoken the truth and have been reacted to). We all know the truth and depending on how attached we are to denying it so will be the size of our reaction on hearing it expressed, very often to suppress the truth which is so painful to hear.

  5. When we eventually admit to the falseness of right and wrong, good and bad we have invested in it is somehow a loss, a loss of identity for a moment before we realize that we have restored an original space for being who we once were and forever are without any need to justify. Good or bad is justification of what is not true in the first place, hence good is an empty attempt to replace the dishonoured truth.

  6. A very strange remark that one might attract an abusive partner because of speaking up and nominating what is going on. It feels like the opposite is true – it is when we don’t speak up but put up with and say yes to whatever is happening, to ourselves and to others.

  7. Living the truth is as integral to our health as breathing air – yet we treat it like an optional extra for those that care. No wonder this world is in the state it is in. Thank you Viktoria.

    1. Beautifully said Joseph! Truth is something so profoundly important, and yet could it be that we do not value nor appreciate it enough to place its priority on top of the list?

  8. It’s so true that dishonesty makes our bones hurt; something may never ‘come out’ but lying does an incredible damage to our mental and potentially physical health from the tension, loneliness and paranoia that it puts our body into.

  9. It is true that we fear the consequences of speaking the truth, probably because we did so in a past life and perhaps were murdered for doing so. Coming to realise that for me, it is far better to take a bullet for the truth than to compromise. This will be progress indeed for immortal beings such as ourselves.

  10. If what we have to offer is of truth and we hold it back, it’s very dishonouring of ourselves – as we have denied /ignored what we know to be true.

  11. It is funny reading about you outing father Christmas Viktoria, as I also had a similar experience. When young my father volunteered to ride in a helicopter (even though he was terrified of heights) and surprised the army children with presents dressed as Santa. As he approached me, I spotted that he was wearing my dads’ belt and shouted out “that man’s got my dads belt on”. The adults laughed, and my mother hushed me up. It just goes to show that even with all of the false beards, costumes and overacting, as children we can feel when something is not true.

  12. The absoluteness of truth shines a light so bright that all else is revealed for what it is. Thank you to all those who are willing to express it, for the world needs it if we are ever to cease the many loveless aspects to our modern life.

  13. For many years I had not considered what self abuse actually meant for me and still years after realising yes, I don’t care for myself like I could, there are layers and layers of depth of care I can go to. This is not indulgent, everything I learn in terms of self love is reflected, we love ourselves in truth then in truth we can love another. So aware of my breathing today and how I have allowed it to not support me as it could, so back to refinement and working through those layers.

  14. “But what I have found much worse is the attack we cast upon ourselves by holding back, by not saying the thing that is on the tip of our tongue, the thing that may cause a reaction of any sort in another but the exact same thing which may change one’s life or the life of many others. ” Holding back and not expressing as we need to is indeed deeply damaging, not just for ourselves but also for everyone else, and of course there is an art in expressing Truth whilst holding the other deeply with love.

  15. Viktoria talks about how we hold back truth in order not to ruffle others feathers, and this is often the case where we are worried or scared about upsetting another, but at what cost to ourselves? How is it that we compromise what we know to be true in order to keep a semblance of peace?

  16. Until truth is our common denominator we settle on what is not truth for the sake of not being challenged by truth.

  17. Viktoria, it is great to read that we all share this ability; ‘The ability all human beings share, but do not necessarily practice, to see between the lines and question out loud that which does not seem quite right.’ I definitely can feel when something does not feel true and in the past for many reasons, such as not wanting to cause a reaction, I have not voiced what I have felt, I still often do this now, although I have found lately that I am beginning to say what I am feeling – this is feeling more natural now, and reminds me of when a child simple voices what they are seeing and feeling as part of their natural expression, as an adult I used to have anxiousness around expressing honestly and it feels great to now be practicing being more honest and true and to notice this anxiousness is now shifting and that there is a more of a natural flow again to my expression.

  18. Knowing that we have abandoned truth, i.e. ourselves and who we are of course then ‘When I get pulled up it feels exposing’; we have to admit that it was us and not anyone else who made that choice no matter what the circumstances and understandable reasons we had for that choice.

  19. “So we have created a society where we actually encourage people to learn to calculate the most appropriate thing to say in order to keep everybody around ‘happy’ and ‘at peace.’” Yes and this is why we don’t like it when someone comes along and presents the truth, it rocks our comfortable boat and exposes the lies we have been living

  20. The most powerful way to voice our truth is to live in the integrity of that truth in our daily lives. Often words then are not needed, because the truth is being communicated through our eyes and through every gesture we make. Our gaze speaks volumes. All of us do know the truth and so when there is someone who lives and breathes this, that’s what we remember. And that’s all we need to do – live the truth that we know and simply deepen in that awareness and understanding as we go along our lives.

  21. It’s an important question to ponder on….”what happens when we don’t speak up?” We only need to look around us to see what happens. It really is right in front of our eyes and we feel every single bit of it. But we don’t like what we see and more importantly what we feel and we fear the reaction of what will happen when we speak up. But not speaking up or waiting for someone else to do it doesn’t work, for we all have a part to play and “every voice matters”.

  22. If we forget the truth of our universality, inter-connectedness and divinity, then what we share and speak may be ‘true’ based on what we believe but it is not healing and one unifing. Thank you Viktoria for the chance to ponder how it feels to express knowing my true beauty and other’s too.

  23. Calling a beautiful child a ‘loud mouth’ is such a gross and bullying reaction. And reaction it is – reaction to the wisdom, beauty, purity and spontaneity of that beautiful child. It is a deliberate attack – the person hosting a force that comes through that simply wants to squash those communications which pierce through the life of lies around them.

  24. There is such wisdom and truth spoken by children. Their honesty often makes the adults around feel uncomfortable. But rather than acknowledging truth, adults often try to hush up the child and so many learn to hold back. Well done you Viktoria for continuing to express.

  25. The more I deepen my inner connection and my connection to the stillness within the more I can trust in my own choices and decisions and the more I can let go of over-riding, seeing what I want to see, or giving my power away. We have to trust, and we have to build something to trust in – our connection to the fact that we already are all we seek to be and a key part of the universe.

    1. I love the awareness you share here. Deepening an inner connection so the world doesn’t have to be a certain way but can be seen for how it is and responded to accordingly without a need or investment from ourselves wanting it to be a certain way. I’ve struggled accepting life how it is and can see how this comes from me looking to the world to fulfill what only my connection with myself can bring because it’s about me bringing me to the world. When I am connected it’s a joy to share the love I feel with the world, there is no place for blame or resentment etc.

  26. ‘The Unspoken Voice of Truth’ This is a voice we can all hear deep inside us. It’s wonderful to start expressing it. At first, and still it sometimes comes out a little clumsily, but the more it’s expressed the more the cobwebs are being blown away by irrefutable clarity.

  27. I love exploring my voice as I speak, particularly when it shifts in the pitch and or tone. It allows me to ponder on who I am with when these changes occur and why I am expressing in this way. There is always more to express and more to learn via our voice and our unique expression.

  28. The image that appeared when you said the woman you live with would take a bullet for Truth, I could see her mouth catching the bullet as it was fired, so when we speak out for Truth it is more powerful than brute force and all the fighting in the world.

  29. Viktoria, reading this I can feel how important it is that we speak out, there have been many times when i have held off from expressing truth and this feels awful in my body and I can feel does not serve anyone; ‘not saying the thing that is on the tip of our tongue, the thing that may cause a reaction of any sort in another but the exact same thing which may change one’s life or the life of many others. Forever.’

  30. It’s great to feel the power in expressing the truth that we know and feel, yet for so long don’t express. It can be easy to let life go on, let the untruths circulate but when we stand up for truth we get to feel our real strength.

  31. “Anger towards myself for knowing truth so strongly when I see it and feel it, and yet, I choose to remain sitting quietly at the front of the classroom of life, putting my hand up to speak up only when I know that my answers will give me that grade A for compliance and will not ruffle any feathers.” Oh, I know that one, and am only really beginning to understand that holding this anger has such an effect on the body.

  32. Hmmm…. yes there are all kinds of consequences as well as the overt ones we saw as children, I too have the inverted ones of lack of expression though I am expressing myself a lot more these days and I can really feel the difference.

  33. When I was young I was rarely listened to when I spoke up about stuff so this got really frustrating and then I became a loud mouth in reaction to not being taken notice of. That of course did not help, as then I was labelled the ‘naughty girl’ and for sure people did not listen to me. I would have been far better off not reacting and just keep on expressing, knowing that others could not handle my honesty.

    1. I can relate very much what you shared here Mary Louise. Not being listened to and met for who I am was one of the biggest hurts that I experienced. As a result of that I thought that I was not important and let alone my voice, which I hated for so long. Thanks to the work with Universal Medicine I could understand that my voice is precious, very needed and valuable when it’s expressed in response to a situation and not in reaction. I no longer need that others approve my expression when I’m with myself, trusting in what I feel and expressing it.

  34. When we don’t speak up we basically tell ourselves that we are not worthy of saying anything or being heard. This is a violation of the truly magnificent beings that we are.

  35. We do carry pictures that the kids who rock the boat, speak out of turn are troublemakers and we have to curtail their expression. What they are in fact doing is shaking us out of our slumber. Maybe if everyone spoke their truth more, we would not have such an aversion to it.

  36. Well said and very exposing of how we see good and the choice to not speak up against that which we know is not truth. The true harm in holding back what is there to be said is that it holds us all stuck in a reality… one that we all know is not the true way to live.

  37. Taking the steps and holding firm to what we feel to express and going there and saying it is a freedom one needs to experience. For it not only frees ourselves, it frees humanity.

  38. I feel that we have had a long history of not speaking up, of denying our worth and our voice in the world and there have been many examples set to put us off expressing truth. We need to get past not making waves and appreciating that actually we are totally meant to make waves in the stagnant ponds of earthly life.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s