Re-united with God

God was never mentioned when I was growing up; not because my parents were anti-God, it’s just that they weren’t ‘believers.’ They were fairly unusual in that they got married in a registry office, again not because they could categorically say that there wasn’t a God but because they couldn’t categorically say that there was. I love the absolute integrity of my parents.

My experience with organised religion boiled down to one very boring couple of hours at Sunday school and joining in enthusiastically with the choruses of hymns at Christmas time. I remember Dad trying to ‘find God’ at one stage in his life, which constituted his going to bible classes and then promptly being asked to leave because he was asking too many probing questions. (God, I love my Dad).

But here’s the startling thing; even though I didn’t have any organised religion in my life, I can now see, looking back, that as a kid the way that I lived was truly religious. It didn’t matter that I never said His name, God was very known to me – very, very known indeed.

My intimacy with God continued until about the age of nine, at which time Dad got a promotion at work and so my family moved from our idyllic village in rural Yorkshire to what I felt was a monstrosity of a town just north of London. The move had a massive effect on me, the extent of which has only come to light in recent years. I never doubted that the move devastated me, but it’s only in the last couple of years that I have fully realised that the most significant effect that the move had on me was that I seemingly lost my connection to God.

I always knew that I missed the countryside and that the bullying at school was traumatic, but I never consciously realised that the greatest hurt by far was choosing to step away from my beloved God. But you see, because no one had ever spoken to me about what true connection to God was, I never consciously knew that God and I were one and the same and so consequently I didn’t realise that when I chose to step away from myself, I was also choosing to step away from God.

We’ve constructed so many false and misleading notions around what it is to be religious that I never considered that as a child I was deeply religious: in fact, I assumed that because my family never went to church and because I never prayed  – that’s not strictly true, I do remember praying once, that if I was going to be murdered could God arrange it to happen after my cross country competition, because I really wanted to run in the race – that I wasn’t religious. How poisonous are our beliefs when they can get us to believe the exact opposite to the truth? And is that, in fact, the purpose of a belief – to deliberately steer us away from the truth?

It has taken my reunification with God to realise that as a child I knew Him intimately. If you asked me to explain who God is or how He feels, then I couldn’t, other than to say He feels like the deepest part of me.

What I can answer however, is how I have been able to get back to God, and that very simply has been to restore my body to the pristine condition that it was in as a child. Before the age of nine I lived life from my body and then when trauma hit, it changed the relationship that I had with my body. Rather than my body being the beautiful, sensitive, surrendered, interactive home that it was, my body became a means with which to protect myself from the potential attacks that I perceived were coming my way. I put up a physical barrier by hardening my body, never realising that I was also putting up a barrier to God.

God never ever walks away from any of us; it’s always us that choose to walk away from Him. Not that we can ever, in truth, walk away from Him, because God is threaded all the way through who we are, but the way that we choose to conduct ourselves ensures that we’re not able to feel His living breath deep within us.

And so my re-unification with God has been a gradual process but one that has been very physical – there has been nothing intellectual about it – it has very much taken place in my body. I have had to turf out everything that does not belong in my body:  ideals about how things should be, beliefs (all of them because there is not one belief that is true), notions, ideas, images, imaginings, every thing that does not come from truth.

I have had to re-visit things that have hurt me in order to release the hold that they have had over my body. By restoring my body back to its original condition, it has enabled me to be able to feel God again and to realise that God is within us all of the time, He is never not there; it’s simply that life is set up in such a way so as to interfere with the medium through which we feel Him, and that is through our bodies.

By Alexis Stewart, a woman who at last feels that she is doing what it is that she is here to do, Sydney, Australia

Further Reading:
God’s Waiting Room
God. It’s a Science
We cannot be without God and Religion

645 thoughts on “Re-united with God

  1. Re-connecting to God through our divine essence is becoming simpler as we stay true to the way we live, or our Livingness that keeps us aware of how each moment counts to stay connected. As our essence has always stayed divine, then it is such a joy to return to that which is absolutely known as a forever deepening Love.

  2. While reading this article I feel a tension leaving my body, as truth does. It softens me. God is with me all the time, it is only up to me to allow me feeling Him. The allowing is already a big step.

  3. This line touched me each time I revisit it, Alexis – ‘If you asked me to explain who God is or how He feels, then I couldn’t, other than to say He feels like the deepest part of me.’ The last bit describes my feeling too of God within me, a constancy of being held and at home.

    1. This is a beautiful way of expressing what a relationship with God feels like. Yes, it is like the deepest part of me, a constancy of being held and being at home and I would add; a quiet, absolute knowing of the more that we come from and the vastness that exists beyond our human experience… all felt in my cells and deep within, but not necessarily shown on my exterior, or much talked about.

  4. Super great article Alexis. Our stories may be different but in the end it is more or less the same: somehow, as a child, we choose to separate ourselves from God. And what gave me great confidence is what you say “God is threaded all the way through who we are”. It is not that we have to work our way back to God, or even worse, do things that make that we deserve his love. His love is always there, it is up to us allowing it, and discarding anything what is in between.

  5. To realise my greatest hurt was when I walked away from God, this was a deeply healing process. It was from this realisation that I know I am greater than my hurts and that God is always with us no matter how far we have stepped away.

    1. It’s an awesome feeling isn’t in chanly88, that God never judges and God never leaves us, it is us who choose to step away from God. It is heart warming to know that one day we will all re-connect with that aspect of us that we call God that lives deep inside our Inner Heart.

  6. We know God through our bodies. Hence we have been polluting our bodies immensely that we almost have no aware recollection of who God is, not meaning it is not there, just that we have allowed many layers to protect us and hide away this truth.

  7. With all that we are told about God, it can be hard to even consider that it is possible to have an intimate relationship with Him. But, if God is the God we know Him to be, it makes perfect sense that we can know Him intimately…and innately. A loving Father would see to it that we can access Him whenever we choose to in my view. And what is more, it is my feeling that he ‘observes’ all that we experience, feeling all that we feel, knowing exactly what we go through, and holds us in His Love constantly.

    1. The current common image of God is so far from the truth, we seem to have humanise Him. We have reduced God to such a level that no longer makes sense and we label Him with human traits that he is judgemental, condemning, angry, and loveless. We are responsible to undo what we have created and set the record straight and share with humanity who God really is.

  8. What a good question “And is that, in fact, the purpose of a belief – to deliberately steer us away from the truth?” My head tells me surely not but my body tells me yes… knowing that my body is the one likely to be not hooked by a belief I can see this is an unravelling moment.

  9. It is the divine truth that we are not encouraged to explore as children, that we are Sons of God and through our connection to our Soul our inseparable relationship with God is known. This is how we live the power of who we are, and so as you shared here ‘…when I chose to step away from myself, I was also choosing to step away from God.’ It has been shared by many world teachers of the Ageless Wisdom that our purpose is to ‘know thy self’ as in knowing who we are in essence we can live the power of who we are, as such restoring the light of God in this world through the lives we live.

  10. We all have the opportunity to return to God because as a child we all knew Him intimately, so true Alexis. I was watching the ease of a small child’s movements yesterday, and could feel that she had God within her, getting that re-connection for ourselves is very profound, as you say, it is in the deepest part of us.

  11. Just imagine if we went around squinting our eyes so that they are almost closed and spend the whole day or even days doing that. Of course during all of this time everything would look kind of dark and fuzzy. Then what would happen when we stop that and let our eyelids open as they want to – do we start marvelling at how clever we are to have got ourself to see the brightness of the sun, or do we consider what a waste of time it was choosing to squint our eyes for all of that time in the first place?

    Yes we go around thinking we are and act as if we are separate to ourself, to one another and to God. This is just like manufacturing a whole story about not being able to see when all that is needed is for us to stop making it seem as if we cant.

  12. An awareness of the love of God flowing through us at all times reunites us with the Divinity of the Universe.

  13. It seems most religions try to sever our true connection to God and have done right throughout the ages, but if we do reconnect with ourselves the bond between us and God cannot be broken, because as you say we are one and the same.

  14. That God isn’t a great figure up in the sky- one who we ask to help and save us- has been a challenge to the ideals and beliefs that I have had since young. Absolute equality and that our relationship with God is that we are made from the very matter that he is, being a part of God in every cell of ours is also not what we are taught. There isn’t anything to establish or any sign to wait for or the voice of God to listen to. When I try to theorise or conceptualise God, I feel a distance in my relationship with myself and God. Conversely when I am with my body rather than distracted by my mind, when I am still and connected to my body, then I feel the connection with God. In other words when I allow myself to be connected to myself, is when I really feel my relationship with God. Indeed it is through our bodies that we feel this connection. As you have intricately and beautifully described, the body is a ‘beautiful, sensitive, surrendered, interactive home’ which houses our connection to ourselves and God.

  15. ‘Restoring my body to its original condition’, that feels so lovely and very inspiring to live in such a way that you are healing your body back to how it used to be. This is quite miraculous as it is almost unheard of for someone’s body to improve condition as it ages, it is normal and very much accepted as the way it is that as we age our bodies deteriorate too but what you are presenting goes completely against the grain.

  16. I have read this blog many times and have always been pondering this sentence, ‘It has taken my reunification with God to realise that as a child I knew Him intimately,’ – questioning whether I ever knew God intimately and whether I know Him now. I realise my view of God is still contaminated by images and ideals of what I wanted Him to be (someone who’d come in human form and take all my troubles away whilst I carried on being irresponsible and not moving towards Him myself). As these beliefs are slipping away I am coming to realise I do know God and am able to reflect on my experiences as a child and knowing God in a way that is never spoken about at school, at home or now really. I love being open to knowing God more as I know myself more deeply too.

  17. God is in us, around us, so important to feel, or at the start just to know that this is true. He never ever leaves us, we only break the connection to feeling him. For me, realizing this is a big relief.

  18. ‘God never ever walks away from any of us; it’s always us that choose to walk away from Him.’ – that is one of the bitter pills we need to swallow one day after we have come to realize that all blaming, giving up, hoping and beseeching is nothing more but an attempt to not let go of one´s pride, returning into our father´s open arms and take the responsibility to be his living son here on earth for everyone to also restore their innate at-one-ment.

  19. Now this is felt, it has profound meaning …’I never consciously realised that the greatest hurt by far was choosing to step away from my beloved God’. It takes the meaning of hurt to a much deeper level to explore all the others that followed that we also do not need to carry. Once we have nailed this deepest one, any others fall away.

  20. That is such an amazing sharing that you realised that you and God were one and the same and when you stepped away from yourself that was when you also stepped away from God, because that is what we all do, life seems to be set up to steer us in that direction at some point if we lose our awareness.

  21. I think it is really helpful to realise how we can associate or attach pictures to words, images that we consider to be their definition that hinder us from connecting with or appreciating and deepening our connection with their true meaning, such as with the word religion.

    1. Yes, I knew what the word religion had done to me and how I rejected it in full because of the discrepancy of what I saw and what I heard. Yet now that I have detached from the belief aspect of the word religion and have built a livingness about the way I live in connection to my body and therefore myself I can feel the relationship with God rebuilding. It was clearly always there but somewhere along the line I threw the baby out with the bathwater and blamed God for the re-interpretation of his teachings.

  22. It is the ‘re’ in ‘re-united’ that tells us where we naturally come from and that we return rather than moving anywhere.

      1. Beautiful Alexis and Alexander, I love what you’ve both shared and our return is deeply welcomed.

  23. It makes sense that when we step away from knowing ourselves that we step away from our inner knowing of our relationship with God, what was naturally felt when we were young as always being part of us and all around us and equally the same with everyone.

  24. You can only re-unite when you have previously separated from someone. But God has never separated from us. His divine essence, ours, has remained inside us. So, we are talking of a human inner movement back to divinity. This is what we are re-uniting with.

  25. Powerful thank you shedding the truth on connection. When we leave it, we leave ourselves, humanity and God.

  26. I dont remember having a relationship with God when I was young other than not understanding what I was being told about him. None of it made sense to me and in the sphere of people around me, no one seemed to be able to give me any answers that felt true. So disocvering the truth from Serge Benhayon was literlally like coming home, and the more I heard, the more everything slotted into place.

  27. Reading this is asking me to consider my relationship with God as an adult and a child. I’m realising that I do know God and it’s lovely to realise there is a relationship that the more I deepen my awareness of it the more I reflect and know I also had it as a child but dismissed it because it didn’t fit what I was told was a relationship with God looked like. How lovely to stop assuming there wasn’t a relationship because if I ignore what’s there how does one build from it?

  28. The knowing of God within us is deeply beautiful amazing and real and the believing in him out side up there somewhere that we are not worthy of,what a difference and something robed from us that is truly evil.

    1. Yes and this relationship within is forever with us, waiting for us to reconnect to it. I know we have all felt it because the reflection of it is in our relationship with animals or nature and those moments where we feel at ease and in harmony with ourselves and whatever the reflection is. Yet we put those moments in a box and get swept back into the typhoon of life.

  29. My experience of God since attending workshops with Universal Medicine has become very personal, in that I feel God within me, and this knowing of God has taken away the ideals (and desire to not know God) that I grew up with. God is not something I experience in a place like a church, but rather a knowing the walks beside me in every step through life.

  30. So many of us are willing to acknowledge that God exists but prefer to believe we can keep him at arms length like an estranged ex wife. God is us, it’s just down to us to wake up and realise.

    1. It certainly is Joseph, I have heard Serge Benhayon present this many times and it is incredible to feel the truth of what is shared. It is about time we all stand up and claim that we are all a God and stop resisting who we are.

  31. God is all about people hence the direct knowing of God is for us being with people in a way that God would be with people if he were to be a physical person. We get to know our own divinity with and through people and thus know God.

  32. ‘How poisonous are our beliefs when they can get us to believe the exact opposite to the truth?’ – Yes, beliefs are carefully designed to keep us controlled and by that, unable to discern truth.

  33. As I went for a walk today I pondered some more on “who am I talking to?” inside myself when I choose to embrace more than talking to myself. I felt that I could be more conscious of talking to God rather as I did unconsciously as a child, and that in truth we are always talking to everyone in the Universe, its just a matter of whether or not we and they are aware of it.

  34. This morning I woke up and the first thing I said within myself was “good morning God” as I realised that I am never alone. It felt wonderful.

  35. I feel that as children we all have a propensity to do this
    “Rather than my body being the beautiful, sensitive, surrendered, interactive home that it was, my body became a means with which to protect myself from the potential attacks that I perceived were coming my way. I put up a physical barrier by hardening my body, never realising that I was also putting up a barrier to God.”
    We have not been taught about energy and the affects it has on our bodies. It was not until 1999 that the world started to hear about energy and the crippling affect the astral energy has on our bodies. Bringing back to life the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom has enabled us all to connect back to those teachings that knew all about the science of energy and it’s out play on human life.

  36. Believing in God versus knowing God. Two different things – one is from the head and one is from the body.

  37. Religious institutions do not like it when we ask too many questions, for there are many things that often don’t make sense and they cannot explain. When Serge Benhayon shares true religion that makes sense, the questions and answers that follow are ones that support all around.

  38. The most powerful and gorgeous thing is to realise that God is always there, a spark within us, and even in our darkest moment we are only a movement, a re-connection away from God.

    1. Jenny, it seems to me that many religions don’t want us to know this, they would rather we roll around in guilt, believing that our sins have barred our access to God. After all if we didn’t feel we had to repent, then it might put them out of business.

  39. Religion is a re-turn to all that is sacred, holy and divine within us. God never left us, for how can he when he is all around us and within us and only ever a breath away when we have disconnected from this space.

  40. “How poisonous are our beliefs when they can get us to believe the exact opposite to the truth?” . . .Yes, I can now see how beliefs were constructed to counter truth.

    1. Sure what I mean when I say that I have restored my body to it’s original pristine condition, is that I have turfed beliefs out of it, as well as ditched most of the pictures about life, that I clogged it up with. But perhaps most significantly, I have removed most of the ideas and images as to who I believed myself to be and as a result, have been left with who I actually am, which, of course, is who we all naturally are, the living consciousness of God.

  41. Alexis, you are a deeply inspiring kind woman, I love reading your blogs – a fiery light and reflection for others to know their true purpose in life too.
    ‘Alexis Stewart, a woman who at last feels that she is doing what it is that she is here to do’,

  42. I love how you share that no matter what you had an intimate relationship with God. We all do, we were all created by his breath forth so it is in our very own make up, in our particles and to the core. Re-igniting such a precious relationship for all of us is one of returning home and embracing all that we are.

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