Re-united with God

God was never mentioned when I was growing up; not because my parents were anti-God, it’s just that they weren’t ‘believers.’ They were fairly unusual in that they got married in a registry office, again not because they could categorically say that there wasn’t a God but because they couldn’t categorically say that there was. I love the absolute integrity of my parents.

My experience with organised religion boiled down to one very boring couple of hours at Sunday school and joining in enthusiastically with the choruses of hymns at Christmas time. I remember Dad trying to ‘find God’ at one stage in his life, which constituted his going to bible classes and then promptly being asked to leave because he was asking too many probing questions. (God, I love my Dad).

But here’s the startling thing; even though I didn’t have any organised religion in my life, I can now see, looking back, that as a kid the way that I lived was truly religious. It didn’t matter that I never said His name, God was very known to me – very, very known indeed.

My intimacy with God continued until about the age of nine, at which time Dad got a promotion at work and so my family moved from our idyllic village in rural Yorkshire to what I felt was a monstrosity of a town just north of London. The move had a massive effect on me, the extent of which has only come to light in recent years. I never doubted that the move devastated me, but it’s only in the last couple of years that I have fully realised that the most significant effect that the move had on me was that I seemingly lost my connection to God.

I always knew that I missed the countryside and that the bullying at school was traumatic, but I never consciously realised that the greatest hurt by far was choosing to step away from my beloved God. But you see, because no one had ever spoken to me about what true connection to God was, I never consciously knew that God and I were one and the same and so consequently I didn’t realise that when I chose to step away from myself, I was also choosing to step away from God.

We’ve constructed so many false and misleading notions around what it is to be religious that I never considered that as a child I was deeply religious: in fact, I assumed that because my family never went to church and because I never prayed  – that’s not strictly true, I do remember praying once, that if I was going to be murdered could God arrange it to happen after my cross country competition, because I really wanted to run in the race – that I wasn’t religious. How poisonous are our beliefs when they can get us to believe the exact opposite to the truth? And is that, in fact, the purpose of a belief – to deliberately steer us away from the truth?

It has taken my reunification with God to realise that as a child I knew Him intimately. If you asked me to explain who God is or how He feels, then I couldn’t, other than to say He feels like the deepest part of me.

What I can answer however, is how I have been able to get back to God, and that very simply has been to restore my body to the pristine condition that it was in as a child. Before the age of nine I lived life from my body and then when trauma hit, it changed the relationship that I had with my body. Rather than my body being the beautiful, sensitive, surrendered, interactive home that it was, my body became a means with which to protect myself from the potential attacks that I perceived were coming my way. I put up a physical barrier by hardening my body, never realising that I was also putting up a barrier to God.

God never ever walks away from any of us; it’s always us that choose to walk away from Him. Not that we can ever, in truth, walk away from Him, because God is threaded all the way through who we are, but the way that we choose to conduct ourselves ensures that we’re not able to feel His living breath deep within us.

And so my re-unification with God has been a gradual process but one that has been very physical – there has been nothing intellectual about it – it has very much taken place in my body. I have had to turf out everything that does not belong in my body:  ideals about how things should be, beliefs (all of them because there is not one belief that is true), notions, ideas, images, imaginings, every thing that does not come from truth.

I have had to re-visit things that have hurt me in order to release the hold that they have had over my body. By restoring my body back to its original condition, it has enabled me to be able to feel God again and to realise that God is within us all of the time, He is never not there; it’s simply that life is set up in such a way so as to interfere with the medium through which we feel Him, and that is through our bodies.

By Alexis Stewart, a woman who at last feels that she is doing what it is that she is here to do, Sydney, Australia

Further Reading:
God’s Waiting Room
God. It’s a Science
We cannot be without God and Religion

412 thoughts on “Re-united with God

  1. “It has taken my reunification with God to realise that as a child I knew Him intimately. If you asked me to explain who God is or how He feels, then I couldn’t, other than to say He feels like the deepest part of me.” My earliest memories was when I would hide under the bed and pray to God whenever I felt scared. I knew he was there always around me and within, I felt safe by talking and praying.

  2. Beautiful writing Alexis, so many take away lines that say so much within them and yet they are expressed with an ease and simplicity – it reflects to me that that is the same as our re connection back to God.

  3. IT would be great to have that taught and/or reminded of as a kid. That it is in our Connection within our body where we find the Union where we are part of. There we feel God.

  4. ‘It didn’t matter that I never said His name, God was very known to me – very, very known indeed.‘ In life we have many words and names for things, we have mentalised much and reinterpreted much and have this version or that version of the one thing BUT our bodies always feel and know the truth. And as young children before the world imposed its version of life on us, we could feel life clearly from our bodies. So the words and meanings are not important when the knowing is very absolute in the body and if we all learn to live life from this connection, from this knowing then life/the world would be a far truer place to be.

    1. Our disconnection from ourselves from God is disconnection from our deepest knowing, our connection to multidimensionality, the grandness we are all from and part of. Yes I agree. It is everyone’s deepest hurt whether they are consciously aware of it or not. From this disconnection all other separation and rot takes place in life, society, relationships, etc.

    2. I so agree, that is the most painful and deepest hurt, as that is taking us away from who we are truly are. No wonder when we disconnect we feel lost.

  5. Because when we return to God after so many years, our bodies needs some time to readjust and discard the ill and hurts it is holding as its way of coping with this disconnection.

    1. We took time to disconnect, a lot of time and were part of much in that disconnection, so it makes complete sense that we give ourselves the time and space upon our return and the letting go of the ill patterns, hurts beliefs etc that simply do not belong to the grandness we are from. What I have found though, is that the return and the response of the body to truth, is far quicker than the time I took in separating and the abuse of not being with myself.

  6. If we separate from the inner heart it makes sense that we also lose our connection to the all or GOD in whatever way we experience that connection to something bigger than ourselves.

  7. Having a relationship with God can be such a natural thing. We really have complicated things haven’t we.

    1. I agree Richard, the mind always comes with complications, while we live with our inner heart, our direct connection with God, life becomes so much more joyful and very simple too.

  8. We never actually discussed religion or God in our family, religion was just something we did on Sundays or holy days. We went to church, we ate fish on Fridays and that was about it. The Way of The Livingness has introduced me to True Family and Brotherhood and a new way of appreciating just who or what God is.

  9. I find it interesting to hear from people who felt they were religious as children. I never had that experience and my parents were not in any church when I grew up. Religion was simply not an important subject.

  10. Religion is innate in all and not the loaded and maligned term and its connotations we have turned it into.Every child knows God and religion without knowing the actual word; God and religion come before words.

    1. Beautifully said Gabriele. Our deep and true knowing and innate connection rest deeply within each and everyone of us – We as humans have added words, mentalised, invented different versions of the one thing, reinterpreted, misinterpreted and overall bastardised the what is truly deeply there before words exist.

  11. This blog is very beautiful Alexis… I can feel in my body your journey away from and back to God as it reminds me of my own too. Thanks for describing it so detailed and true.

  12. We are so much more connected to God then we think we are. There is that tendency to look outside of us, to read books, send prayers to heaven, perform rituals and pilgrimages but all the time we are doing that we forgot that God is already within and that this outward search is only a distraction from really connecting.

  13. Life becomes so hard because we disconnect from God and with that from our innate beingness. No wonder we at times we can feel so lost, devastated and alone.

  14. I was brought up to see God as outside of me and that I was some kind of sinner, a very unworthy person to be in God’s presence! I have since learnt that Religion has it so wrong and is responsible for many of humanities ill ways of being. There is not just one Son we are all Sons of God equally so. The healing has begun thanks to The Way of The Livingness, as presented by Serge Benhayon.

    1. Yes I was brought up like this too Roslyn, yet I could still feel something much truer and deeper in my body that supported me to eventually see what was false and claim the truth more and more.

  15. Leaving God (and therefore our soul and connection with all life) is very traumatic but something that I didn’t acknowledge or feel the depth of until I was re-united with God, especially through the Gentle Breath Meditation and Esoteric Yoga. It’s one of those huge inner aches we have, that we push down and try to ignore because no one else is admitting they miss God.

  16. That our bodies are the medium through which we feel God is such an alien concept for many religious faiths and institutions, and yet it makes such “common”sense, in other words how the true wisdom inside all of us if we choose to connect with it, (for we live in our bodies not our minds which are only part of the whole of us), is not from our minds but through feeling and listening to our bodies. It is very obvious how those who make a study of theology come to it from their brains, and as a culture we have become addicted to knowledge and amassing information from which to work things out, rather than allowing the deep wisdom of our bodies to inform us as we live our daily lives and feel God within.

  17. Alexis, thank you for sharing your walk back to God. It is beautiful to truly know that God, ever loving, always there, never walks away from us.. that it is we who walk away from him.. and through simple choices as presented by Universal Medicine we can reconnect with God at any time.

  18. The simplicity and sweetness of this invitation to return our bodies to their natural state and therefore complete relationship with God is super cool, inspiring and beautiful. Thank you, Alexis.

  19. We are not taught what is to me the most important thing in life, which is that we are the same as God, there is no difference. How can there be a difference, we are all made up of the same chemicals and particles as the universe… fact. God is our universe… fact, we therefore live in the body of God… fact and so by the very fact our particles are the same as that of God…how can we not be God? So even when we think we have stepped away from God, we cannot because we are the very fabric that he is. I know I was taught this as a religion, science and philosophy in past lives but these teaching became corrupted by force by the religion of the day and we have lived the lies we were fed ever since. Where it is easier to blame God or give up on him than to accept we gave our power away to a false religion that would at the time brook no opposition.

  20. If we dip in and out of life like flicking through tv channels, is it any surprise that we forget the truth that we’re divine? Stay present with all of you in all you do and you can’t help but know God.

    1. That is a truth for men too Mary-Louise, we are from God and therefore always connected. It is only by your own choice we can feel not connected and alone, left out from God.

  21. Interesting how I feel I have always had a strong connection with God, but I still feel uncomfortable talking about this with some people – possibly because I can feel their discomfort around the topic. There has been so much bastardisation of this word to make it mean so many things that it is not, and in that wrong association, you can feel a judgement or catergorisation of yourself when you mention this word. And yet it is everything but that…Perhaps one of our ‘jobs’ is to help these words be brought back to their true meaning when we use them correctly. God I love this! 😉

  22. Every time I shed a notion, belief, opinion or ideal, I am one step freer from all the patterns I have adopted to cope, none of which have come close to restoring me to God in the way that the teachings of The Way of the Livingness and Universal Medicine have.

    1. Matilda I love how you express this, its full of wisdom, simplicity and an incredible power that we all poses when we choose to let go of things that are not true.

  23. I love this, how you learned such honestly from your parents Alexis. Sadly, we don’t always live life in this way, and we can make huge problems and complications. When we live what we know from our bodies, our beliefs do not rule us.

  24. The more I can relate to God and a warm glow (and so much more) inside me the more of a presence God has in my life, instead of some abstract ideal outside of me.

  25. The beauty of God is within us all and the joy comes from here within and nothing can take this away from us although we can and do give our power away to religious institutions and beliefs that then cripple us in denying all we feel and know inside. A poisonous way to live that is the core of all illness and disease.

  26. When you talk about preparing your body back to the pristineness like it once was, I can relate to. When I feel the quality that God is and that this also resides in me equally, then it makes absolute and total sense to nurture and prepare the body so it can en-house such a pristine vibration.

  27. As a child I do not recall feeling connected to God, nor do I remember God being discussed at home and at school we had morning service with which I felt no connection, just something that had to be done as part of school. However, I always felt something was missing and spent years searching and exploring different religions and philosophies to no avail. It was not until I met Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and The Way of The Livingness that my search ended, my missing part discovered and the journey to deepen my connection with God has commenced.

  28. “God never ever walks away from any of us; it’s always us that choose to walk away from Him.” So true, so even atheists still have God on their side! No judgement, no conditional love. God is with us always in all we do – regardless…….

    1. Atheists are the livingness of God, just as is every mass murderer that has ever lived. There is no one that is’nt the livingness of God because there is nothing but the livingness of God.

  29. There are many religions in the world that steer people away from truly connecting to God. But it is at Universal Medicine and in your gorgeous blog Alexis, that the truth is revealed. We are always deeply connected to God, His love never leaves us and when we cannot feel the presence of God, it is us who have chosen to disconnect from Him. But that is not the end of the world, because like you’ve shared and from my own experience, we can very quickly reconnect to God through our body. No need to go to a special building, seek a special person, meditate for years etc. because God has made it super easy and simple. We just have to reconnect to ourselves and we can all feel His love within every particle of our body.

  30. “How poisonous are our beliefs when they can get us to believe the exact opposite to the truth?” A clever trick that can take us on a lifetimes journey in the opposite direction to where we are destined to be… constantly seeking outside ourselves, rather than re-turning to the love, truth and wisdom within – to God.

  31. ‘But you see, because no one had ever spoken to me about what true connection to God was, I never consciously knew that God and I were one and the same and so consequently I didn’t realise that when I chose to step away from myself, I was also choosing to step away from God.’ This is what happens when God is considered to be something outside of us and we don’t have these conversations about God and what He means to us. I’d no idea my greatest hurt was me walking away from me and God in hurt anger. I blamed circumstance outside myself- things that I thought shouldn’t have happened, and things that I thought should have happened but didn’t. I didn’t see my part in it all and how I am always held in love.

    Even a few years ago I’d never have considered getting the same front flat tyres on my car as being more than bad luck and the world being pitted against me. Now I can read how I have been living hasn’t been honouring of the stillness within and being stopped in my ways is actually a call for great reflection.

  32. I once read of someone who when asked whether they believe in God responded ‘no…I know there is a God’. There is a massive difference. Our beliefs can be the greatest barrier to knowing the truths of life – God being one of them – perhaps the grandest of them.

  33. Thank you Alexis, it’s a deeply heartfelt sharing and I can very much relate. This is a beautiful truth ” I didn’t realise that when I chose to step away from myself, I was also choosing to step away from God.” Your words confirm that God is what are are a part of, that God and who we are is not separate.

  34. I agree with you Alexis that when we restore our bodies back to their origin, we can naturally feel our connection to God and the universe. I feel the problem we have with the way we live, is that we have accepted so many lies and lived them, which has hidden from us the truth of who we are and where we truly come from.

    1. Exposing the lies we have lived can be very uncomfortable but it is only in relinquishing them that we have any chance of building an honest relationship with ourselves and therefore others and life.

  35. “….even though I didn’t have any organised religion in my life, I can now see, looking back, that as a kid the way that I lived was truly religious.” The simplicity of knowing that we already have that connection to God within us and don’t need any form of building or priest to make us feel worthy of Gods presence is so beautifully humbling and deeply touching.

  36. We are never separate from God. How can we even imagine we could be? It is as crazy as saying we need to make an effort to connect to oxygen when we are breathing it, we are surrounded by it and it is also part of our every single cell – and perhaps even more ridiculous when we consider the energetic aspect of life.
    The fact that some religions sell the idea that we are separate from God and we have to somehow appease him and claw our way back into his favour, shows how manipulative those hungry for power religious institutions have been for millennia and how we have on our part chosen to go along with it.

    1. I agree Golnaz, we are not lowly or sinners who deserve punishment, but we are born connected to God through our essence, institutionalised religions cannot take that away though perhaps in some cases they can promote beliefs that could cloud our connection to the truth if we take the beliefs on.

    2. So true Golnaz… ‘those hungry for power religious institutions’ can only exist if we give our power away to them, if we allow them to be.

    3. Hear, hear Glonaz, powerfully expressed and spot on. You have revealed one of the greatest evils in the world. It is when institutions and organisations deliberately steer people away from truth and from truly connecting to God, and therefore steering people away from connecting to themselves. Because what will happen when people world-wide chooses to reconnect to themselves? they will feel empowered and able to see the lies that has been promoted and sold.

  37. As you so beautifully describe we are one with God but then learn to be separated from him all the while it is the most natural way of being to us.

  38. God is a natural part of life even if we don’t realise it. To not ‘believe’ in God is to admit that there is a God that we are just not open to acknowledging. There is too much talk about ‘God’ and too many religions on this planet to justify denying his existence. It is not worth shutting him out with our minds, and it is oh so very worth opening to him by allowing him into our lives.

  39. My parents were very similar in that they never talked religion to me or expected me to be anything with regard to this. They didn’t go to church either and I feel that they knew there was so much more than this physical life but at the same time they knew that the religions of the world were not it. They said to me that religion was something for me to decide for myself when I was older. I hugely appreciated this lack of manipulation from my parents compared with what I saw in so many of my friend’s parents.

  40. ‘even though I didn’t have any organised religion in my life, I can now see, looking back, that as a kid the way that I lived was truly religious. It didn’t matter that I never said His name, God was very known to me – very, very known indeed.’ This is a gorgeous confirmation that we are already everything and are not the empty vessels education would have us believe when we enter it.

  41. Alexis, great question; ‘How poisonous are our beliefs when they can get us to believe the exact opposite to the truth?’ My experience as a child was that because my parents did not go to church that I was not religious and so I thought that I had no connection with God, rather than knowing the truth that we are all born with a natural connection to God and that we do not need to go to church to have this relationship.

    1. Rebecca I second that, it is very hard to consider that everything that we say is our belief are things we have picked up, and given the state of the world today, surely there is more untruth than truth, therefore how many of us are living with beliefs that are so far from the truth, they are the complete opposite. I know I was one and still have I am sure, beliefs that are far from true.

  42. The integrity of your parents in not believing in something until their bodies felt it, was such a role model for you to surrender to what the body is feeling and allow it to come back to naturalness. This process, no matter how long it may take allowed you to feel and live a true connection with God.

  43. I grew up very religious, but the spoken words were mostly not true to me, as I knew God. He was my best friend.
    Then experiencing something bad in my life, I left that Connection too, as you did Alex. Thanks to the presentations of Universal Medicine, I was taken back to God through re-connecting with my body again.

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