Before coming to the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I had always considered love to be something reserved for those ‘special’ few in my life.
It wasn’t just a normal way of being with everyone but something that needed time, consistency and a track record of trust. Take away that trust and the love would seemingly dry up like a puddle in the sun.
This was how I lived in my relationships: I’d ride the ‘connected’ times for all they were worth, all the while preparing myself for the inevitable hurt and disconnection that would come.
This would play out in its various forms of protection – holding back, distancing, or even complete retreat from the other person.
But that was love, right? Everything in the culture around me had confirmed up until that point the belief that love hurts; that you can have it and lose it and it is finite.
Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.
As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.
Looking back over my relationships, I can clearly see how this conditional version of love set me up to feel ‘needy’ of others and dis-empowered in life. Things would feel great when I was getting the attention, acceptance and recognition I was seeking, but when it inevitably dried up, I was faced with the saddening reality of how I truly felt about myself – that I never felt quite good enough no matter how much I seemingly ‘succeeded’ in life.
Through the teachings of Serge Benhayon, I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.
This is a far cry from the relationship I once had with myself, the world and everyone around me!
Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.
These layers of the ‘what isn’t’ love, such as the hurt of not feeling like we are good enough, feeling rejected, abandoned or not recognised, can seem overwhelming, yet in reality they’re all minute in comparison to the amazingness of who we truly are.
The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.
When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.
Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love?
Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.
By Alison Coleman
Further Reading:
Self-love vs self-loathing
Before and After My Self Love Program – Forever Unfolding the Real Me
To honour another you need to love yourself
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Amazing Alison, it starts out like you are in lockdown and by opening your heart everything around you feels like a blessing and a very lovely harmonious life.
For more on harmony go to; HARMONY at
http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=HARMONY
Absolutely why wait for another to change when we can be the one to make that change … from within as others have shared through our connection to our innermost ✨
I don’t feel that mainstream religion has supported us to know that we are love first before anything else and that we do not need to look any further than ourselves.
I seem to remember when young being told from religious teachers that God will save us and the world, that we didn’t need to do anything except go to church to pray that God would indeed save us. God would hear our prayers and will at an appointed hour come and save the world. This to me puts all the responsibility on God and gave humanity a ‘get out of jail’ free card. We can do what we like while we wait for God to come along at some point and save us. And isn’t this what we are doing? We are destroying ourselves and the planet we live on while waiting for God. But what if these religious teachers are incorrect? What if what we are told is a lie and that actually we save ourselves by reconnecting back to our innermost essence which then opens up the flood gates of communication with God and the universe. How cool is that!
‘Before coming to the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I had always considered love to be something reserved for those ‘special’ few in my life.’ We are sold such a lie around love. It is not an ideal, it is not possible to reserve it for just a few, it is not possible to lose it or gain it and it is not something that entitles us to abuse. Love is in truth a beholding energy that has an amazing quality of grace, stillness, depth and infiniteness to it that is there for us all, equally so. It is something we access/align to and something that is passing through us all the time. If we say we love someone in particular and then say we do not love another, then what we are feeling for that someone in particular certainly can’t be the love just described.
Love is who we are, ‘ Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care’.
Appreciation of our essence is the first step towards appreciating that we all have the same loving essence and that the intimacy we can share or by letting people in, so we are intimate with them is part of us evolving because we start to understand that we are more than human. This allows us to deepen in this evolutionary relationship that ripples out to others then all humanity.
In our essence we are love, we can appreciate and nurture the love we are, allowing that to be lived more and more.
What if the one we are waiting for is ourselves? Everything we want, need, demand, expect from another we are actually responsible for bringing to ourselves first before it can be delivered by another.
And appreciate that it is and always has been our essences that have been waiting for us to re-connect to our essence.
I agree with what you are saying Greg. I remember the ‘love and peace’ movement in the ‘Woodstock’ era, but this wasn’t real as from my experience at the time, it seemed to be based on using drugs to get to a state of heightened awareness.
Serge Benhayon presented love to the world as an energy that is found within us all that is developed first from Tenderness, to self love, to love and this was the interesting part; on a personal note I discovered I did not love myself at all and was in fact very abusive towards myself and towards others. It has taken a long time to love myself and in this turn around feel the deep love I have for others. There really is a way to live in harmlessness towards ourselves and all others.
“When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.” Sp true. Appreciating ourselves is key to deepening our relationship with ourselves, and then deepening relationships with those around us follows on from this..
Appreciating and confirming ourselves allows us to build a stronger foundation of love, who we are in truth.
“Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.” This is beautiful Alison. Knowing about the protection we feel in ourselves and also being aware that another may well have that protection thing going on too, and then taking responsibility for opening up more. The worst that can happen is someone isn’t interested – be it in a friendship or a more intimate relationship.
Finding out the true truth about love. I wonder why we aren’t we allowing ourselves to know this from young instead of going through the ups and downs and emotional roller-coasters of ‘love’, and of course that first this comes from within, therefore no need to look for it outside … not meaning that we cannot have deep, purposeful and loving relationships. If I had the Ageless Wisdom teachings when I was younger I know the first part of my life would have been a lot simpler and a whole lot more lovely. 🌸
Could it be the lack of True understanding of appreciation of our divine essence that has always been “within” and thus re-learning to appreciate and be intimate with others by letting them in (true intimacy) should be openly taught at every level? And appreciation is a connection to “within” that is recognised in ourselves first and then others.
Knowing we are love, and living that in full, ‘ I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.’
Ironic really that when we first hear or talk about love we think of love with another person or partner but never the true love we hold within ourselves. No wonder we can feel so empty and alone, of course, if we are looking outside for something to fill or fulfil us when really the pot of gold lies within.
Yes, the world view currently is all about looking for love outside of ourselves. I too wish id known that love was inside me all along when i was growing up. Don’t think we are alone in that one!
We are love, no need to look elsewhere for love, ‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be. ‘
Yes, appreciating and confirming our amazingness allows it to expand and flourish, ‘the amazingness of who we truly are.’
Because of the false beliefs and ideals of love we can have a lot of investment in our relationships and the people around us, always waiting to receive love from outside of ourselves. This can lead to a lot of misery and upset because life doesn’t run to our pictures. And, in that false belief of love we are missing those daily moments and opportunities to love ourselves and feel/be our own love.
We can become needy if we seek love from outside ourselves, when really this is just a distraction from the fact that we are love, we are magnificent.
Yes, if we are looking for someone to come and be that saviour for us we will be forever searching for the ‘answer’ and our purpose.
‘Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.’ So simple right! But something we are not readily taught especially from someone who lives this; however Serge along with many are changing this ✨
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ In the not choosing to be this, but in the seeking of receiving it and in the giving of it out we have created another currency called need.
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ Ditto. Having now learned this, choosing to be love, I feel, is our ultimate individual responsibility.
‘As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be.’ This is so true from my experience also, I can feel that in our society we are taught that love is outside of ourselves, if we knew that love was within us we need never be on the endless search for mr or mrs right. Being in a relationship would be something we would choose if we wanted to, not something that we needed as we would already feel the love within us.
Instead nurturing the love we innately are, ‘Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for?’
Why do we always search outside of ourselves for love – or “Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? great question Alison.
Love being something you choose to be is incredibly powerful. It takes my victim of fate way of living and the anxiety -including the highs and lows – away too. I used to enjoy the rollercoaster ride but am coming to appreciate the steadiness of love from within way more.
It is but a choice. Choosing to say yes to Love. It really is that simple. No emotions. No drama. No ups. No downs. But a steady consistency.
Coming back to this blog feels very restoring to me. Certainly the hurt of not feeling good enough sometimes may seems quite strong, but how great being honest and aware about where we are at. By making this choice we can feel the hurt in its rawness, let it go and see our truth within, the fact that we are much more than our hurts. Every time we let go and heal we can open up to a deeper level of love, which never ends and it’s for all. It’s the one we craved for so long.
Allowing ourselves to be honest and raw is the only way to go because it brings a reality check to the otherwise arrogant spirit who will deny and justify.
If we don’t love what we are doing, learning and observing in life 24/7, then we have dropped our potential in each moment.
The art of learning where to place our attention.. do we focus on what’s going well, our strengths, qualities; the beauty and depth in our lives, or the bits that we haven’t nailed, are a bit messy and/or are a work in progress? Even with the messy bits, there is still a beauty in what is there for us to learn through it.
So many of us have a belief that someone else is the ONE but the truth is we are all the ONE.