Could We Be THE One?

Before coming to the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I had always considered love to be something reserved for those ‘special’ few in my life.

It wasn’t just a normal way of being with everyone but something that needed time, consistency and a track record of trust. Take away that trust and the love would seemingly dry up like a puddle in the sun.

This was how I lived in my relationships: I’d ride the ‘connected’ times for all they were worth, all the while preparing myself for the inevitable hurt and disconnection that would come.

This would play out in its various forms of protection – holding back, distancing, or even complete retreat from the other person.

But that was love, right? Everything in the culture around me had confirmed up until that point the belief that love hurts; that you can have it and lose it and it is finite.

Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care.

As far as I was aware, love was something you went in search of giving and receiving, not something you chose to be. 

Looking back over my relationships, I can clearly see how this conditional version of love set me up to feel ‘needy’ of others and dis-empowered in life. Things would feel great when I was getting the attention, acceptance and recognition I was seeking, but when it inevitably dried up, I was faced with the saddening reality of how I truly felt about myself – that I never felt quite good enough no matter how much I seemingly ‘succeeded’ in life.

Through the teachings of Serge Benhayon, I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.

This is a far cry from the relationship I once had with myself, the world and everyone around me!

Understanding this simple truth that I AM already love and that this is at the core of every single person, has helped me to see through the layers of hurt and protection that get in the way of this love being felt and expressed.

These layers of the ‘what isn’t’ love, such as the hurt of not feeling like we are good enough, feeling rejected, abandoned or not recognised, can seem overwhelming, yet in reality they’re all minute in comparison to the amazingness of who we truly are.

The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.

When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.

Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love? 

Perhaps it’s time to bring our focus to the one staring back at us in the mirror – the ONE who will be with us in every moment of every day, waiting for us to stop and finally see who we truly are – pure, all-encompassing and beholding LOVE.

By Alison Coleman

Further Reading:
Self-love vs self-loathing
Before and After My Self Love Program – Forever Unfolding the Real Me
To honour another you need to love yourself

1,093 thoughts on “Could We Be THE One?

  1. We are offered everyday to re-connect to our essence of being. We are constantly being asked, in one way or the other (times obvious and not so obvious), to deepen our relationship with ourselves.. To understand what we are living for and how this relates to our body. That there is a love inside our body that needs attention and to be brought up to the surface for us to feel from and live. There is nothing more stupendous than our own love.

  2. ‘I’ve come to understand that the only way off this roller coaster of conditional love is full acceptance of the responsibility that nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.’
    There are times when I can feel a little bereft when I am not with someone but reading this and knowing I have started to live this is such a supportive reminder of what is true and reconnecting with myself knowing no-one else but me can do this. There is so much illusion in this world around what love is it’s glorious to read and feel true reflections of love.

  3. The science of relationships in truth is about oneness. When we are in oneness with ourselves so can we be in Oneness with everyone else – and so we are all THE One. Together we make up a whole.

  4. Most of us have been indoctrinated into believing that there is A One that will save us. It is a revelation to know that WE ARE THAT ONE – each and every single one of us.

  5. Could it be that when we confirm the ONE we are in effect confirming the ALL and that is what true service and brotherhood is all about.

  6. “When we confirm and appreciate ourselves for who we are, rather than for what we do, such as having an innate lightness or joy, we call for more of that quality to be lived and expressed, leaving less space for the negative self-talk that can dominate our thoughts and ways of being.” Such is the magic of appreciation. The settlement, ease and space this brings to our bodies is exquisite to feel. In that space is pure and absolute unconditional love – the Love of God expressed through us.

  7. Love fits everyone equally as God never leaves us we are the ones that need to reflect in the mirror the Love we are so God can re-connect starting with our inner-heart. Connecting through the inner-heart starts with the Gentle Breath Meditation as most find that we are to far from our divine connection. So we slowly return through being gentle then self-loving before returning to Love.
    For more on the Gentle Breath Meditation go to;
    FREE GENTLE BREATH MEDITATION
    http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=Free+Gentle+Breath+Meditation

  8. True Allison, the conditional version of love makes us feel needy and it is dis-empowering on every level. In a sense it is a way of life that is incomplete as we leave ourselves behind and are constantly adjusting our way of being to another person or more. And our being just is!

  9. Very beautifully shared Alison, illustrating the fact that if we are searching for Mr or Mrs Right to find love we have already overlooked and disconnected from the true love that is ever-present within us, as this is everything that we are. We are the ones that are born into this world to share the love we are.

  10. “Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love?” – yes, since a young adult i’d kept an eye out, hope for ‘finding the one’ only to find years later how misguided this ideal was and also a complete waste of energy really…because ‘finding the one’ is finding the one love of ourselves to prepare the way for that love to be with another.

  11. Yes it is in the confirmation and appreciation of who we are that we expand and thus the negative self-talk gradually falls away. There is no trying this, just the simple commitment to moving in acceptance of our awesomeness.

  12. Beautifully expressed Alison. And the truth is we all do really love ourselves deeply. When I ask others if they would prefer to be someone else they all have replied no. What we do want is actually BE ourselves in full.

  13. This is so important in what you have shared here and while talking to a young person today it became apparent that practically everyone does this ..looks outside for love and to be confirmed by another instead of knowing how to do this for ourselves first. So when the ‘love’ goes we don’t feel good about ourselves again. And this will be the never ending rollacoaster of life until we are truly aware of it and know how to get off of it and … how to truly love ourselves. This is possible. I know from experience and as yourself with the support of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.

  14. The kind of relationship that we have with ourself is fundamental to the quality of relationships that we then have with others. The clarity that Serge Benhayon brings to what love truly is and how we can re-connect with the innate love that we are is gold.

  15. “Could it be that this type of loving relationship with ourselves, one of full acceptance and appreciation, is THE one we’ve all been searching for? And is it possible that any romantic quest for the Mr or Mrs Right actually takes us away from knowing this true love?” Such a great point, the irony is yes the more we make it about our relationship with ourselves all the other relationships in our lives benefit too, this has certainly been the case for me.

  16. “The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ –everything else.”

    To focus on what is not is strong programming in the human race. To learn to refocus on the what is – love – is an art form and one that is much needed. A loving work in progress and one that I remind myself aLL the time to work on.

  17. Alison, this is very lovely; ‘nobody else can do the job of loving me, for me, and that with commitment to myself, it is possible to feel loved and supported, no matter what’s happening in my life.’ If we were taught this as young adults this could change everything, we don’t need to go on the search for ‘mr or mrs right’ and could instead focus and build the connection and love with ourselves, and then go into relationships if we felt to from here.

  18. I love your suggestion of bringing the focus back to ourselves being the One rather than giving our power away to some other one because the truth is we are all the One.

  19. Beautifully said – recognising that we are already love and that no one can take this away from us nor make us feel it unless we ourselves choose to connect with it is truly empowering and gives us the opportunity to re-focus ourselves on the love we already are and bring our expression back to that quality rather than focusing on hurts, needs or ideals instead.

  20. Due to the fact that we have separated from the true Oneness we all deeply know and belong to, we have made life instead about the plight of the ‘the one’, the individual that carves for itself an existence separate to all others. In this way we have yearned to be ‘the one’ in the sense that in this separated state we crave recognition and identification, rather than reconnecting deeply to the truth that when we live in connection with our Soul, we live in connection with all others and together we make up ‘the One’ – the light and love of God.

  21. Our health and well-being really is in our hands, and there’s no reason we can’t treat ourselves as ‘the Ones’, Kings and Queens in the high quality we establish in every movement and interaction.

  22. I have spent my whole life waiting for love to disappoint me. Staying on guard without even being aware I was. Living this way has created such hardness in my body, you could call it self created armour. With the walk back to love I’m now peeling back the armour bit by bit, being blown away at the hardness that I have avoided seeing and so appreciative of the love that lives within.

  23. For sure I am the One.
    Amazed I am by the effect we can have around us on other people by just bringing the love out our heart. The key is not to keep the love for a few, then it is impossible to truly love. It is to connect with the divine source and let it out to humanity, not one fellow brother left out.

  24. What love is inside me, all the time I was looking for it in all aspects of life outside of myself especially in my relationships.

  25. Appreciation of who we are is the essence of life itself and once we see every opportunity and or moment as a moment to learn, grow and discover the what is we leave less room for the what is not, showing us that we are indeed the ONE and that everyone else also has their own journey to discover, learn and explore that they too are the ONE. Very cool.

  26. I always find it fascinating how easily we overlook ourselves having all the answers to everything. I spent a large proportion of my life never even considering that I had a body dangling below my neck and that IT was really the one thing I needed to look after.

  27. We are all Mr and Mrs Love working really hard to be all that is not love whilst claiming the opposite – that is why we get so exhausted.

  28. If we (the world) stopped bastardising the word Love and connected to the energy of True Love we would fix the majority of our woes in one go!

  29. ” Serge Benhayon was the first person to present love to me as an energy you embody (from within yourself) that can only develop from a foundation of self-love and care. ”
    I had the same experience, love is something you live and once love is lived, love expresses itself, emanates and radiates.

  30. To confirm and embody the love that we are is to not give space to where we are not living that. To notice where we are not living that love provides an opportunity to come back, connect and embody it once again.

  31. A very familiar story Alison. I too looked outside for that perfect relationship, but there was strings; Expectations on how we were to be in relationship, shying away from expressing how I felt; thinking that this relationship was it and bring me everything I need. There is still much to work on but knowing that how I am with myself in my own relationship is the starting place for how all other relationships are, has made an enormous difference to my relationships. What I have certainly learnt for myself is that romance is so last season.

  32. The simplicity of where true love lies can be so confronting because it asks for self-responsibility to initiate. It seems simple to externalise love so we don’t have to take full responsibility, but it’s pretty clear where that leads us – to loveless complication and beyond.

  33. “The art, as I’m gradually learning, is where we choose to put our attention: on the ‘what is’ – Love; or the ‘what is not’ – everything else.” – The teaching of Serge Benhayon that all we have to do is be the love that we naturally are diffuses the notion that we have to do something to get love in life from others, as it is there inside us all along. No searching needed.

  34. It is most definitely time to go onward and really love ourselves unconditionally, we only delay the inevitable whilst we go around looking outside of ourselves.

  35. Upon reading this blog this morning, I can feel just how the word “one” is all encompassing. it may be a small and somewhat singular syllable, but there is such power and truth that we are all indeed made up of the same essence and divinely connected as “ONE.”

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