by Nicole Serafin (40 yrs old), Nutritionist / Dietician
In my mid twenties, after having a lower back and shoulder injury, my physiotherapist suggested some gentle stretching and Pilates exercises to rebuild the muscles and tissues – to strengthen those areas. I began first at home with the exercises she gave me, and then looked into doing a few yoga and Pilates classes.
My body became strong and my core strength was amazing, but I had become so obsessed with strengthening myself that I had stopped feeling what all of this exercise was doing to me – I had totally lost touch with how my body was really feeling. My body had become so hard and disconnected that I was unable to feel when it was time to stop or when I was pushing it too far.
I had gotten into the frame of mind that the more I could stretch and the stronger I was, the better I must be.
In fact I was causing more issues for myself without realising. I was no longer able to feel the pain my body was in, due to the way I was exercising, and that my focus had completely changed.
Every time I went to a class the pain would be relieved, so the more classes I did, the less I had to feel it. I became addicted – the more I did, the more I wanted to do, and it became the basis of my day. In the end I was exercising at home TWICE a day and at a studio FIVE times per week!
But the pain was still there – it was just being masked.
I began attending some Universal Medicine workshops and in time, some of the courses and retreats. I began experimenting with living in a way that was more supportive of my body, feeling what I needed to eat, the way I felt and the time I felt to sleep, amongst other things. The next natural step was to look at the way in which I was exercising, as it was not correlating with how I was now living in other aspects of my life; I was still pushing my body on a daily basis to the extreme.
Yes, it was true I needed to exercise for the wellbeing of my body, but I wanted to find a way that allowed me to feel what it was my body needed, just as I was doing with these other aspects. I realised I needed to do it in a way that supported me.
So I began changing the way that I approached the exercises – much to my teacher’s dismay! She could not see the point of doing them if I was not challenging myself. Eventually, I began doing them at home in a way that I felt was more nurturing and caring for my body. To my surprise, over time, I began to feel more supple, gentle and willing. I realised I was just as flexible – if not more so, now that I was connecting to what my body said it actually needed. Along with this I also received the support of sessions with various Universal Medicine practitioners…. and found my pain level began to lower, to the point where it is now non-existent.
It has been amazing to discover that by allowing myself to feel exactly what was needed, in both the way I did the exercise as well as the sorts of exercises I felt to do, I could support myself better than ever before. I find I still have the core stability I had developed, but I also have gentleness within my body that I had never felt before. I am now able to do exercise when and how I feel to, and when I’m finished, my body feels expanded and open.
I can so relate with what you share, thinking, ‘that the stronger I felt in my body the more healthy and fitter I was, but in becoming so hard and through pushing myself I too disconnected from feeling just how sensitive and truly delicate my body is and how harming it is when I push it beyond its natural limit.’
I used to be addicted to exercising, and all at the expense of my body, ‘I became addicted – the more I did, the more I wanted to do, and it became the basis of my day. In the end I was exercising at home TWICE a day and at a studio FIVE times per week!’ The more exercise I could do the better.
Yes, I agree, ‘enjoying being so present with myself felt far more supportive than all the pushing and striving which only hardened and drained my body.’
It is always important to connect with our body, and honour what it communicates.
Feeling my body while exercising is exquisite and empowering
The body tells the truth.
I don’t think I will ever stop being humbled by how intelligent the body is. It knows how to live in a way that is not detrimental to itself in every aspect of life bar none.
“Every time I went to a class the pain would be relieved, so the more classes I did, the less I had to feel it” – oh wow. That’s where we think exercise is good for us and get addicted. Pain is one of the ways our body communicates to us, it lets us know when it is being compromised. It is actually very useful.
I never liked exercise as a kid because I didn’t like pushing past what my body said it could cope with then be in pain for hours or days after. I didn’t like how people would tell me what to do and disregard the fact that my body would be saying otherwise. These days I love to exercise as I stay more with my body than ever before. Even if in a class where we have to follow the teacher I still do my own thing in line with my body and make it look roughly like I am following.
I can remember the competitiveness I used to go into when doing exercises in a class situation as I didn’t want to be seen as unfit, so I would go has hard as I could. This wasn’t always the way though. I used to cry after running when I was in primary school because I didn’t like how I felt in my body doing it. But once I thought I wasn’t enough it was surprising how numbed I was to my body and didn’t get upset when it hurt from exercising. Staying with our body and exercising in a way that supports is good medicine.
Very inspiring Nicole, what you have shared can be a book about how we can live in a way that supports every aspect of life and build a body that feels what is happening to it!
We can so easily think that hardness is necessary in our bodies, and we often exercise to promote that hardness, yet in that hardness we are less able to feel how we are and what our body truly needs, so to find a way to move and exercise such that we are with our bodies without hardness, is very supportive and shows that we can be just as flexible without the hardness.
And an inspiring reflection for others to see. When we only ever see ‘all go go go’ then we don’t have anything to compare it to to say there’s another way. I know for me, seeing someone walk in gentleness and tenderness for the first time and touch also in that way, was an eye opener for me.
It makes sense doesn’t it, if we strain the muscles they become stiffer, harder etc. If we’re gentle in our movements our muscles are not under constant tension and are therefore more flexible and as a result we become more flexible. Harshness on the body leads to nothing more than harshness within the body.
It is so wrong that we are told to harden up both physically and emotionally – and as you say Nicole living hard like this has a side effect that makes us numb to when we overdo anything or push ourselves too much.
Many gym goers push their bodies too much, as I used to do, ‘I had gotten into the frame of mind that the more I could stretch and the stronger I was, the better I must be.’
Unfortunately many go the rough and tough way probably because on some level it feels good but on the other hand it makes you not feel what the body is actually communicating.
Yes, exercising when done without connection and gentleness can numb you, ‘My body became strong and my core strength was amazing, but I had become so obsessed with strengthening myself that I had stopped feeling what all of this exercise was doing to me’.
Our bodies really do speak to us constantly of what is truly honouring of our essence and what is needed to support us to correct and adjust our way of living and moving in order to bring greater awareness to the degree of love we live.
Core strength does not come from the physical body.
To exercise so our bodies feel expanded and open, that is something we can get when we listen to and move in line with our bodies, and not when we push and strive and numb ourselves to not feel our bodies. It seems obvious yet many of us have done the later and it’s only when we’ve been introduced to the former than we can see how we’ve been.
How empowering is that to be able to give our body exactly what it needs by simply feeling into it. Very different from listening to those so-called experts out there telling us what is good for us.
Well said Fumiyo. Whenever we live in honor and guided by the truth in our bodies, we live with true power.
We can totally hide in exercise under the guise of we are doing our body good and looking after ourselves. Our bodies most definitely need some form of exercise, but that is to each person’s individual body and where they are at. I thought I was getting away with pounding myself in the gym everyday, going for a run when I would get home and then exercising in my room after… but I most definitely was not getting away with anything. I didn’t have physical pain I was trying to numb but emotional pain. There is no amount of running or weights that can cover up any form of pain.
The body is an amazing thing – not just physically, but in it’s intelligence too. Through connection with our bodies, we can find true wisdom.
It is quite a head set we can get into about exercise. Which is crazy really as we’re exercising the body not the head, but so often the head is running the show. When we let the body guide how we exercise, it is simply lovely – and often quite different to how the head would do things.
Allowing our bodies to guide how we exercise, as opposed to letting the head dictate the exercise, is so much more nourishing.
This is a huge shift in the body – and that you saw more flexibility and less pain from your shift in approach is awesome Nicole. The whole consciousness of exercise is about feeling better rather than confirming what already exists within.
I too recall putting my body under a huge amount of stress in the name of sport, and in the illusion that I was actually keeping my body in good shape, only to realise how exhausted I was becoming because my body just couldn’t keep up with the demand. Exercise is good for the body but in moderation and I have found it hugely beneficial to stay connected to my body, as that way I know when it’s too much, or a different kind of exercise is needed.
Nicole I can recall working my body with that saying ‘no pain, no gain’ and thought I was exercising in the name of fitness. It is only since I too start attending some of the Universal Medicine workshops that my attitude towards the way I exercised changed. I don’t go to the gym and huff & puff anymore, I go there and be present with myself whenever I perform any of the exercises. I even have a break from going to the gym if I don’t feel like it whilst before I I would still push past the tiredness or needed to be really sick to not go to the gym – my poor body.
My relationship with exercise has had a whole new makeover, body comes first, exercise second.
Hard exercise makes me feel hard, exhausted and sore/stiff afterwards. With gentle exercise, feeling my body and breathing as gently as I can, I feel more flexible, more vitality, less or no sore or stiff muscles and I feel supported as everyday physical demands are less of a strain on my body.
We can really smash ourselves about in the name of exercise, I know I use too. The many injuries, the recovery and the treatments that had to happen because I was exercising for my health, when in fact it could be argued I was making myself unhealthy. If you truly looked at the injuries I had due to this exercise and how my body was you would question what I was doing. Now I absolutely still exercise daily but this exercise is their to support me to live and not to showcase what I can do to myself. There is a lot of walking and stretching but no running or extremes. I don’t push past pain or run to fix things I deal with what I am feeling and exercise to support that and to support myself. For this I am the fittest and healthiest as I have even been and my weight has been stable for years. My body never enjoyed extreme exercise or being pushed into exercise and it was showing me that, only I just never truly listened as I do now.
I also used to approach exercise with the ‘no pain, no gain’ attitude as well, and of course my body would often get injured or I would feel quite exhausted from pushing myself so much. Like you I committed myself to learning to exercise more gently and in connection with my body and from this choice I now experience a healthier and more vital body without the need for any push or drive.
Many people think pushing themselves to the limit with exercise is good; but having experienced that, and now exercising gently and in connection withy body I can say the later feels more nurturing and honouring of myself.
This blog brings to the table an important subject: once you discovered the importance of the ability of the body and the fact that we can compromise it through our actions, the question in relation to exercise is how much strengthening the body is too much in terms of body awareness?
.” I am now able to do exercise when and how I feel to, and when I’m finished, my body feels expanded and open.” the above statement is so opposite to how exercise is approached these days with so much drive and push to become so called “fit” with no connection to what the body is truly feeling. But with awareness gentleness and support the body knows how much and when to exercise, leaving us feeling our loving connection.
Amazing to have moved to this way of exercising, ‘ I am now able to do exercise when and how I feel to, and when I’m finished, my body feels expanded and open.’
Your last line is key ‘my body feels expanded and open.’ and often with exercise I’ve not felt that, but in fact tight and slightly out of my body if I’m honest. And it’s only been in the last few years actually listening to and feeling what my body really needs and dropping any ideas of what I should do that I’ve built a new relationship with my body, one that is deeply loving and supportive and one that allows me to feel more open and with me as I move and am. A very different way to exercise and be yet one that is very powerful as you note here Nicole.
The ‘no pain no gain’ mantra is the mind over-ruling the body and can lead to abuse of the body.
I have witnessed many people get addicted to exercise classes the way you describe in this blog. To me, this is a red flag, as I know that other things in my life that have been addictive have never worked out that well for me and I tend to become reliant on them to the point that I don’t know myself without my crutch. This blog offers another way to strengthen the body, a way that takes into account how sensitive we are as human beings.
Such a beautiful, humbling learning that the body does know and if we allow it and work with it, it offers us so much without us pushing it.
‘She could not see the point of doing them if I was not challenging myself.’ How much of this ethos underpins sport and exercise of all kinds? I’ve found it in everything from tennis lessons as a kid to bellydancing as an adult. Unless we’re pushing ourselves, in whatever form that takes, apparently we’re not enough. A belief well worth throwing out the door!
I can feel overwhelmed sometimes by all the knowledge I have about what my body needs in order to keep it healthy and fit. To the point where I don’t do any of it sometimes. And yet, when I allow my body to lead the way, there is no overwhelm and complication, just pure simplicity and ease.
I was just reading another blog how someone was sharing how they used to use alcohol as a way to numb themselves and that they observed that often when people give this up they then reach for another stimulant to suppress what they are feeling. Because exercise is something that is good for us it is not always so easy to see that it can be used in the same way.
That is certainly breaking some of the ingrained exercise consciousness where more is always better; what actually happens when we exercise in disconnection from the body? What is the damage, long- and short-term and is there a more intelligent way to exercise? These would be great research topics.
Wow Nicole your amazing blog is breaking a consciousness in the “exercise-world” where it is normal to push and to challenge oneself. To do it in a way that felt more nurturing and caring for the body is the last thing what would be part of this consciousness. Therefore I love it that you are not holding back with your experiences while exercising in such a way as it opens a door to exercise in a more loving way.
That’s the deceptive thing about addiction for as you shared Nicole ‘the more I did, the more I wanted to do, and it became the basis of my day’ and we become dependent on trying to satisfy the insatiable craving for more to drive us.
Nicole, you raise a very important point about exercise to support you in your connection back to your body and not stimulate it to not feel what is going on in my body.
A hugely significant testimonial in regards to our approach to exercise Nicole, thank-you. You have described here that it is a deeply responsive and honouring relationship with our body, that is key. I have found the same – to over-push is not the answer, and it can actually lead to damage and strain.
The question is, why would we seek to overdo it? To look ‘better’, numb ourselves from pain and/or emotional difficulties and stresses? It’s most definitely worth us evaluating our relationship with exercise and ensuring that this relationship is founded upon truly supporting our bodies and beings on every level – from there, it can be such an absolutely joyful and vitality-enhancing experience…
I have a new found love of exercising after many years of avoiding it. It’s so enjoyable to move and exercise in a way that is about caring and supporting your body, rather than a punishment, which most exercise regimens have turned into. I find it fascinating that we think that if it’s deemed as exercise and sport then it must be good for you. But none ever questions the quality of the exercise. This is what makes so much difference and the even more interesting thing here is that you are even fitter if exercising in a more gentle and caring way rather than hammering your body. How does that work? My feeling is that our body loves being cared for, no matter what we are doing and our body responds when we move in such a way.
How is it that we get this idea that we have to be challenging ourselves all the time? If things are not hard or difficult then we cannot be progressing in life? It is a crazy belief that has us working against ourselves. Thank you for showing how support for ourselves is so crucial, and support for ourselves in truly caring for ourselves rather than trying to prove anything to ourselves or anyone else, caring how our bodies move and supporting them by bringing quality to our movements.
It’s really amazing to me how much the body responds to gentle exercise. We are so conditioned to the ‘no pain no gain’ mentality that in my experience it’s hard to let go of that and simply follow the lead from my body whose natural inclination is always towards being tender, loving and nurturing.
A great article Nicole on the power of listening to our body and with gentle exercise allows us to feel what will truly support us.
There was a time when I believed that the body was just the thing that carried me around in life but I now know how wrong I was. The body is innately wise and harmonious and from this natural harmony we can learn so much about our true essence. My experience is that we need to respect and honour our bodies very deeply if we want to engage with the profound wisdom they offer.
I have started to go to the gym twice a week after having not been there for 7 or 8 years. I felt my body needed support mainly for core strength and balance. It is quite a challenging environment with everyone around me pushing and forcing the body to keep on going and perform just like I did before I came to Universal Medicine. On the other hand when I stay in the connection with my body, my body loves doing the exercises in a gentle way. And walking there in my delicateness is quite fun.
Moving a body in a way that honours and supports is most needed to reflect another way to the norm of pushing and pounding.
We have in the past been taught “no pain no gain” when it comes to exercise. In truth our bodies know and shares with us its appreciation for loving gentle exercise.
Beautifully simple reminder that the body knows what it needs in any given moment. Thank you Nicole.
This is very true Linda. I used to get exhausted after going to the gym and participating in an exercise class and the irony of it was that I thought it was good for me! A marker as to whether something supports me or not is how I feel afterwards. Doing gentle stretches and exercise or going for a walk and making it about focusing on being with me and my body, energises me and supports me throughout my day.
As I reflect it is amazing how I used to push myself to harden my body, abusing it in a way that I would find impossible to do today yet so many go to the gym to ‘work out’ in this way. Exercising and feeling the connection and the way in which I move my body is light and gentle on my body. I can still slip into the pushing but I lose connection with myself straightaway and bring myself back. My focus is on how I and my body feels in relation to the exercise.
This is such an awesome read Nicole – exercise is a big topic for people – but as you say here – there is a way to exercise that can support us and our bodies. And I love your example of how you just adjusted how you exercised and it made a big difference on your body.
I can very much relate to being addicted to exercise. First thing every morning my exercise mat would come out and I’d practice yoga. I thought that pushing myself hard and building a sweat was the answer, my focus being on how my body looked. I exercise today but it is very different. I am not hooked into exercise where I have to do a certain length of time every day. I do gentle stretches and weights when I feel to. Sometimes it can be as little as ten minutes. My relationship with exercise is constantly evolving and sometimes I feel I can go deeper in connecting to me in my exercises.
Wow Nicole this is a whole different relationship to exercise – exercising listening to your body not exercising to silence your body.
Nicole, this is a brilliant article on exercise. It is very interesting the last part from a male perspective as not going hard and creating a gentle routine goes against the masculine idea and strong belief that if there is not pushing means that means there will not be strength gains, which for men is seems as a big marker of adequacy and acceptance. I am slowly getting the benefits of not pushing with a less strained and more open body. And we can build strength without that push and it is actually far better for my body to do it in this way as it doesn’t shut down from overdoing it.
Exercise is just one example of far too many ways to count that we can harden our body just in our everyday. But what is unfortunate is that when we harden our body we also desensitise and disconnect ourselves from the wisdom and love from within – the irony being that it is this very love and wisdom that we actually crave most.
When I see strength that people have built in their bodies through pushing themselves with exercise, it appears to come with hardness as if the strength is used to protect them or as you say numb them to what they are truly feeling. I love that you found a way through the support of Universal Medicine, to be able to hold both core strength and gentleness in your body through exercising in this way and ultimately remain open to how you feel and be able to honour that.
How beautiful to feel expanded and open after exercise. I was recently walking with a friend and mentioned I had an injury. She told me I should just push through it. It seemed so foreign to me to even consider that, that it made me laugh. We carry our love and self care for ourselves into everything we do and in every movement. I know I sometimes abandon this if I have not given myself enough time to do something but the great thing is that I can feel this in my body and I am aware of the awkward movement. There were so many years where I didn’t even register this to be true.
We push our bodies to the limit thinking we are doing ‘good’ or that is what I used to also do through my yoga classes. I like you Nicole have now found through listening to what my body needs a different more gentle way to exercise without losing any of my flexibility or strength and feel revitalised when finished and I now know that saying ‘there is no gain without the pain’ is a misleading fallacy.
The body knows exactly what needs to be trained and exercised. The majority of training regimes excessively push the body beyond what is required and doesn’t offer any physical benefit of building strength faster but producing more lactic acid.
It’s also a trap I fell into Nicole – if two times a week is good, seven must be great! I’d found that twice a week at the gym and incidental walking were very supportive but when I pushed this to every day of the week at the gym it quickly became an obsession to become fitter and leaner that lasted 25 years. Universal Medicine has been pivotal in helping me to be able to come back to feeling my body and learning to exercise in a much gentler way that no longer harms or exhausts but supports my body.
“It has been amazing to discover that by allowing myself to feel exactly what was needed, in both the way I did the exercise as well as the sorts of exercises I felt to do, I could support myself better than ever before. I find I still have the core stability I had developed, but I also have gentleness within my body that I had never felt before. I am now able to do exercise when and how I feel to, and when I’m finished, my body feels expanded and open.” Beautiful Nicole. When I hear praise for the many people who struggle in marathons and achieving their goals etc or climbing Mt Everest and losing a few toes or fingers in the process I cringe. When was our body meant to endure such a struggle? Listening to our body’s messages and responding accordingly, as you did, feels a much better way to live – and without injury.
My exercise regime has completely changed as well in the past few years Nicole from strenuous exercise to a more gentle form of exercise. The interesting thing is I feel the fittest I have ever been, staying present and listening to my body has been key to not overdoing it and to supporting my body with what it needs.
It is interesting that by pushing ourselves in exercise we can mask the messages of discomfort and pain that our body is giving but when we exercise gently while staying connected and aware of what is happening in our body we can work with our body rather than against or in spite of it.
On re-reading this blog, it made me recall a particularly intense exercise period in my life where I had dieted and lost a lot of weight… I was running every day (for up to an hour), and when I didn’t run/exercise, I felt guilty or bad about myself. At the time, I remember feeling a certain buzz of feeling of elation after exercising, and yet there was the constant tension of waiting for the next exercise period, and I know looking back that I was always pushing my body through pain, which somehow seemed to disappear after feeling the initial discomfort. The way I exercise now – much more gentle and staying with my body (to the best of my ability) – is so much different…. and the difference for me is that I feel complete ‘before’ I start the exercise, and therefore the exercise – by listening to my body – simply becomes a natural expression of my body, and provides so much more joy and expansion.
Thank you Nicole this is very inspiring. ‘Pushing through’ can apply to many areas of our lives, we harden up in every instance – as you have shared with the exercise regime, returning to gentleness provides us with much support and this goes with other areas too.
I have been very surprised how gentle movement practiced with awareness can unravel the stress and tension in my body.
Absolutely 1timrobinson, I agree, exercise done when I connect to my body first is a whole new way of feeling and bringing true strength back to my body. Exercise when done correctly allows me to feel more and stay in touch with my body.
In my experience, exercise and I have never been that close. We have the odd date or hang out but it has had conditions and expectations. I would only strike up a conversation with exercise if I wanted to change something about myself, mostly weight of course. So the impulse to start regular meetings with exercise came from me not liking myself, or how my body looked – so we always got off on the wrong foot and the relationship never lasted. Slowly this belief is being re-imprinted by me connecting to the enjoyment and want to move by body in a way that allows me to feel the strength and flow that is already within. I don’t need to change anything, just use the movement of exercise to connect to my body, from there I will know what it needs.
When our focus is stretched beyond the body with anything we are doing, even if it is seemingly harmless like exercise, the effects are the same as over eating or indulging in unsupportive choices of comfort – these all result in numbing or dulling the body’s awareness. It is very inspiring to read your experience with this Nicole and how when our intention and connection changes so too does the nature of our activity – for without a body we are unable to feel our divinity.
Sometimes it can take years to undo the conditioning from a way of exercising that doesn’t honor the body’s true limits. The great thing is, if I really allow myself the time and the focus to undo the conditioning, the (ab-)use of the body, the less abuse I experience in all parts of my life.
Nicole, thank you for sharing your experience with the way you changed your approach to exercise. It is interesting how easily we can get addicted to exercise when we don’t do it for the reason of supporting the body in truth. The loving approach, actually listening to what the body says it needs, takes real care and consideration, but it’s truly worth it. If we just harden our bodies, then that cannot be true to living as the delicate women we are. Even for men too, hardness is totally not avoidable if we push our bodies to fit in a box, or fit the picture of what we THINK we need to look like, rather than supporting our bodies lovingly to be naturally stronger to the level that’s needed, and not more.
What you share here Nicole is not only important but also very inspiring. I know I used to get addicted to exercise and pushing my body feeling I was doing some good, but in fact I was not really connected to my body so I was not registering how far I was pushing myself as well. I now see that way of exercising as harming to my body and I now exercise in a more gentle and supportive way for my body and have more energy and vitality than ever before. Thanks to Universal Medicine and its practitioners for supporting me to truly care for my body and to exercise in a way that is gentle and beneficial for the body.
Absolutely Anna, I agree, ‘exercise in a way that is gentle and beneficial for the body’ by connecting to my breath then my body this in my body. To then take my body with the same connection into my day feels so true with a responsibility to then hold that connection in all I do not just my exercise program.
As I read this blog Nicole, I found that it’s not only exercising which we can use to either support the body or ignore what it’s telling us, but any other number of activities… For me it was not only exercise (at varying times of my life), but also eating. I overate (& sometimes still do) and / or ate things where to use your words “I was no longer able to feel the pain my body was in, due to the way I was (eating) and that my focus had completely changed.” It wasn’t that the pain or symptoms weren’t there, just that I could no longer feel them! It was amazing when I started to be more honest and actually listen to my body and what it was speaking loudly to tell me! I still am working on this but find the more I listen, the less loud my body needs to be…
“I became addicted – the more I did, the more I wanted to do, and it became the basis of my day. In the end I was exercising at home TWICE a day and at a studio FIVE times per week!” I can absolutely relate to this Nicole – and used to use exercise as a form of escape completely hardening my body in the process not realising that it’s the quality and not the quantity that really matters.
I love this Nicole. I used to be addicted to yoga and pushed through many mornings of pain, 5 days a week, to achieve the ‘yogic’ picture of health. But I have also realised that is not only possible but truly enjoyable to have strength, flexibility and gentleness through exercise whilst being in connection to our bodies. And that this balance is truly honoring and supporting me and my well-being.
Exercise has always formed part of my daily routine and I used to feel that the more I could do the fitter I would be and so the more energy I would have and so on. Over time I have realised that I am not achieving anything positive by pushing myself and have backed off with both the quantity and way I exercise. I have found that I am still enjoying a moderate level of fitness and my body is not under stress. What I have also realised was that I had been caught up in the busyness of ‘doing’ which was an ideal distraction away from feeling anything. Slowly, as I am dismantling the old beliefs, I am feeling what is under all the layers of protection I have built up. While this can be challenging in many ways, I am appreciating the discovery of a more authentic form of myself which is awesome.
Although I was the opposite to you in so many ways Nicole I still managed to find something to numb me out and to harden my body – alcohol took away the pain – or so it appeared until my body said no. For me it has been the driven way that I lived my life that has blocked me from feeling the amazing wisdom that the body offers us in every little move throughout the day.
Incorporating gentleness into a exercise regime is quite easy and i have also found it to be very effective
During my time as a professional dancer I got totally addicted to exercise. Beside normal dancing lessons I did weight workouts and cardio training as much as I could. More so because I had a body issue. So I can relate a lot to the hardness, I built a lot of it during my teenage years in my body- injuries, I almost ignored, tried to fix it and I just continued with my normal workout…crazy… After stopping this hardcore training, I rebuilt a natural way of being with my body and exercise. At the beginning I felt like a granny exercising, but I love it now. It is not comparable to the old way, but my body feels like itself- a woman’s body. The moment I feel pain somewhere I stop- no overdoing it anymore, just enjoying the flow in my body and the connection that is felt and focused on during exercising.
Awesome Nicole! Very cool to be able to see how easily we get hooked in to exercising in a way that is actually more harmful to the body than we realise at first. If we all started off learning how to connect to our body, we’d all be so much quicker at picking up when we are not connected and we’d never push ourselves through some of the gruelling sessions we convince ourselves we love.
This feels like such a supportive way to exercise Nicole as it honours what your body needs not what your mind wants. I can feel how this approach requires bringing presence to the way you move and therefore leaves no room for over doing it or overriding your body, as the moment you do, you come back to your body to feel. What a beautiful way to be with your body.
I have always considered exercise to be synonymous with pushing your body to achieve an outcome or goal and not something that can or should be done gently whilst allowing yourself to feel what the body truly needs. This is a truly revolutionary and beautiful way to stay fit and in touch with the body rather than at the expense of it.
Well said Samantha; it is totally revolutionary and beautiful, and feels so true and what’s needed. As you say, the ‘old’, ingrained way of exercising is truly at the expense of the body, rather than in support of it.
I can relate to using exercise with an idea in my head as to what I want to achieve in regards to my body as opposed to exercising in accordance with what my body needs to truly stay fit and vital. It is quite amazing how relaxed, flexible, strong and vital our body can be when we start to take care of it instead of pushing and using it to get through the day in a mere functional way.
I can feel the joy in me when I read how you have changed your approach to doing the exercises, to let go of the challenging aspect that exercising nowadays so commonly is associated with. The challenging aspect feels to me as we have to challenge our body, in order to become lord and master over it and that is actually exact the opposite of how a true relation with our body is intend to be. Our body is our biggest friend, and knows everything we need to have an amazing life at any moment and in any situation.
It’s huge nvanhaastrecht, we have to always challenge what our body can do; if you’re tired and feel you’ve done enough, do some more – that’s the slogan at the gym. How disregarding is this, and the bodies are presenting the consequences sooner or later, with an injury or some permanent damage. And this is often accepted as ‘normal’. It is high time for us humanity to start exercising the way the body actually wants to exercise, in a way that is supportive, just like Nicole describes.
Thank you for this reminder that ‘our body is our biggest friend’ and not the mind that is led to harden and believe that in that hardness we will be ‘better’. Strength does not come from being hard. Holding that hard and tense stance is often a shaky situation. True strength comes from being open to feeling, not closing down from it; shutting down our senses only blinds us as it leads us astray; so why shut down our body’s ability to feel?
Thank you Leigh, as my body does hold me in all the love that it can express at any time, the way I perceive this is dependent on my relationship with it. If I respect my body with love, then I am able to connect with the love my body is continuous expressing. If I do not respect my body I will experience the expressions of my body as interfering with what my mind intends to do with it and as being not cooperative with my plans. For instance when my body presents an illness to me, that in fact is an expression of love, as it exposes something that is not love and does not belong. I can either accept this fact or ignore it and in this ignoring I can see my body as an annoying thing I am trapped in and have to live with, without any respect for what it actually brings to me. On the other hand, when I accept this fact and read the illness for what I can learn from it, my body is my great friend and will be my guide for having an amazing life.
Lovely to read how you changed your approach to exercising to one that is loving and supportive of your body and leaves you feeling “..expanded and open.”
Thank you Nicole. I used to think I was missing out on what I ‘should’ be doing by not going to the gym for strenuous ‘get fit’ exercise but I never got round to it and I didn’t want to do it. I now realize that my body was telling me very loud and clear that this was not the way to exercise and that gentle exercise feeling what my body is asking for is much more supportive for my whole body.
This blog has brought the awareness of what happens when we constant try to make something happen and all we end up achieving is the endless ‘chase’ , whereas if we choose to be truly present ‘that something’ just comes to us in our fullness and is so easy. Thanks Nicole for inspiring this new awareness.
Well said ch1956 – it’s that pursuing and need to attain something that feeds the chase. I totally agree with you here, in my experience it’s been a need to change or lose weight and hence I never actually enjoyed exercise as it was tainted with this drive to look a certain way. I am starting to enjoy movement again, in dance and gentle exercise and walking, which is big for me! I can feel that my body is so capable of moving and totally enjoys it.
It’s very inspiring to read that being supple and having strength have not much to do with how hard we push ourselves.
Beautiful Nicole. I love how you share that when you stopped challenging yourself with the way you exercised and did it in a more nurturing and caring way, your body over time began to feel more supple, gentle and willing. I cannot but feel the analogy of this as a foundation we can apply to all that we do. Instead of everyday pushing and challenging ourselves to be more and achieve more, we come from the opposite direction. We let our days flow with a profound sense of responsibility of what we need to do, but do it in a way that honours our own bodies and all those around us. Indeed if we all lived in this honouring way we would be more understanding, accepting….and ‘flexible’ with ourselves and each other,
I used to exercise to the max and take it to the pain barrier and beyond. Leaving me exhausted and sore. Thinking that the harder and frequent I trained the better. But it was not sustainable. my body would get injured. my shoulder would get too sore to continue. I have stopped this way of pushing my body. I move with gentleness and inconsideration of my body now. I am with me not against me. My motivation comes from within, not external goals/ ideals.
Great post Nicole, I have changed the way I work out too and through being connected to my body and how it feels, no longer pushing or exerting it, my awareness has increased. Something that really made sense to me during one gym workout, was that: ‘it is to honour not abuse the body’.
‘I am now able to do exercise when and how I feel to, and when I’m finished, my body feels expanded and open.’ Thank you Nicole it is so lovely to read how your approach to exercise has changed and how you are now supporting your body with gentle exercise.
Thank you Nicole for reminding us that exercising could be a very ‘healthy’ way to numb ourselves disguised under the motto ‘challenging yourself’. Even if this sounds like you grow out of this, the truth is that what happens is just the contrary.
This is great Nicole and a great deconstruction around how exercise is usually approached compared with approaching it in a way that supports the body instead of constantly ‘challenging’ it. I found by challenging my body I just got more and more depleted and very hard muscles instead of feeling truly vital and having strong, supple muscles. It makes it easy for me to choose which way I would prefer to exercise now.
Nicole what you share here is so refreshing to read. Exercise is great for the body, how we exercise is for sure, even greater. As you say …’I had gotten into the frame of mind that the more I could stretch and the stronger I was, the better I must be’…
Nicole, such a lovely blog thank you. And isn’t it amazing how exercise can be as addictive as drugs and is seen as more acceptable, so in some ways is worse. How you describe how you exercise now sounds and feels delicious, in connection with your body rather than pushing it or being driven by an outcome. Right now I’m exploring exercise again and feeling how different it is when I move in connection with my body, i can feel the loveliness of me, and why would I want to move in any other way, in exercise or day to day.
Thanks Nicole for sharing how you found a true way of exercising your body. Great the way you pointed out how you were overriding what your body was telling you and in effect creating a hardened and numb body. It’s beautiful how you have come to honour yourself and exercising your body by its own instruction and not by an outside instruction. Lovely.
Isn’t it intriguing how we can even use exercise as a form of addictive ‘drug’ – the more (and the harder) we do it the more we want to continue doing it and inevitably the harder we become!
yes draganabrown, it’s simple, if we train hard, we become hard in our bodies; like we are wearing an armour of some sort, to seemingly protect ourselves from feeling anything, any hurt or joy, because we have become hard like a warrior. But this is not who we are; if we all walk around so protected, how can we ever let anybody in to love us, or let our love out?
That is so gorgeous, and simple, thanks for the inspiraton : )
Lovely and and simple writing. Pushing myself through exercise is not something I got into but did the same thing in other ways, so I can completely relate to what you have written. It just shows how vastly different the two approaches to exercise are – one addictive, but hardening and for the outside, the other in connection to you, building strength and gentleness, what a beautiful combination. And everyone benefits… I am sure your children would tell you which approach they preferred a hug from!
Your comment is so beautifully said and summed up the blog so well Shannon – and, that’s a great marker; which approach would our children prefer a hug from? Made me smile.
I can related to what you’ve shared Nicole. I experienced a hardening in my body doing Pilates. My mind thought it was right but my body wasn’t fooled. Its awesome to read how you found for yourself what and how to exercise. A reminder that our bodies truly know it all.
Yes Joseph, I can relate too; Many years ago I liked Yoga on some level, but then I somehow just didn’t want to go to any classes anymore. The idea of it was great, but how I actually felt afterwards was not what I wanted. The way the classes were run was so much about the ideals of more and more stretching and weird contortions of the body. When I then found the more gentle and connective exercises the body felt completely different. I am forever grateful to Universal Medicine to show us the way back to a true way of exercising – FOR our bodies and not for our pictures in the head, which push the body beyond what is actually supportive.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with going all out with exercise, Nicole. I have always wondered why people seemed to get addicted to extreme exercising regimes.
I suspect it masks more than physical pain, seeing it hardens the body so much.
What a beautiful balance you have come to, Nicole!
Thank you Nicole!
Nicole it is awesome that you let your body lead the way into how to exercise rather than let the ideas of someone else dictate to you how to exercise, thanks Nicole.