By Kyla Plummer, small business owner, concerned wife and mother, Bangalow
Mindless, weak willed, spiritual seeker, follower, devotee (vomit just at that word), cult member, woman (?!?) …. These words have been used to describe me, or women that I know negatively… behind our backs, either in whispers around town, by work colleagues, when leaving certain shops in Bangalow, online in bullying hate campaigns and by a mainstream media that is completely unaccountable for the lies and damage their exploits cause…. I am appalled! I am disgusted and disheartened! What is going on if this abuse, denigration and treatment of myself and other women (and men also) are allowed to continue without any true facts or foundation?
Edit: I have just been informed that David Millikan ambushed a peaceful UniMed event on Friday night (12th Oct 2012) and caused great fear and distress amongst attendees; it seems that a hate campaign has no end to its reach, the madness continues, but at some point we have to ask what are they actually accusing us of?
I have made some changes in my life, so what? I have been and currently go to some Universal Medicine talks, a few when I can…. I am super busy, happily married a loving mother, running a family owned local business and I also work in Bangalow. I generally love my community, I get along well with all the parents that I know from school and my customers, friends and work colleagues. Some people have said they would be better friends with me if I still drank alcohol, that’s cool, I understand, but I still consider myself accessible and have no judgment on what they choose to do.
What I have noticed within this community is this… When I had a marijuana dependency, was a heavy ‘social’ drinker and smoked a pack a day of cigarettes I was more generally socially accepted than I am now because I choose not to drink, have quit smoking all weeds and take better care of myself than ever before!?! Is this not strange? I am finally starting to get my sh*t together, the way that I have found that works for me, am not harming anyone, nor preaching any gospel, just going about my life, working hard, having fun with my children and being a part of what is mostly a great and unique community. I personally don’t care what anyone else does, but am also open and happy to share my experiences with others – note the term ‘my’ – I do what feels right for me and not what is prescribed by any other person. Although, God forbid, a group of people may do some similar things over time with some similar results or experiences… and may also build some friendships as well… must be a cult cause clearly, that is awfully strange and never happens in any group or gathering of people with shared interests?!?
What I am sick of is men abusing women, ex-partners and mothers of their children by accusing them of ridiculous things, spreading rumours around the town of Bangalow, threatening to take their children, enlisting the sensationalist media to print lies and half-truths and drumming up other hate campaigners into a modern day witch hunt, whilst hiding gutlessly in the pub or behind faked names online! Note to you all – don’t smile at my face in the street, if this is what you are involved in because I have no respect or time for people that are encouraging and or allowing men to bully women and children no matter what their concerns are – there is no excuse for this treatment! This is the town I live in… my husband is a long term local, I am not being bullied out of it, this is not high school (nor should this be acceptable anywhere including high school), I am standing up and saying enough is enough – come and say it to my face and stop picking on vulnerable women anonymously!
I would like to draw attention to the character of the people involved in this vicious attack of not only businesses, professionals and anyone that’s had contact with Universal Medicine, but importantly to the ex-partners or wives of these men who are now under serious threat. These cowardly men, trolling anonymously online, are plotting all kinds of hideous acts – like seeking full custody of children that are well loved and cared for by totally capable mothers under the cry of ‘cult’. There is no cult, the ridiculousness of these accusations has gone way too far and anyone, including local and national media that have been involved in the spread of this hogwash, should be ashamed because the blowback is devastating. Everyone has the right to different views on life and how they may want to live it when there is no harm done to others… how do you harm someone by eating gluten/dairy free food or not partaking in alcohol? How do you harm someone by going to bed early and taking care of your body? How ridiculous! Plenty do drink alcohol and eat gluten and dairy, it is not a prerequisite of attending and paying for a Universal Medicine course or talk. I spent many years doing just that and no one ever told me not to… I also spent many years attending or not attending courses as I felt like and no one tried to lure me back into the ‘cult’ or asked me where I had been!
A bunch of childish men that could not take responsibility for failed relationships are distracting themselves with a witch hunt and doing serious damage in the process, and the first to be greatly affected are women and children. Hiding behind the fact they are trying to do ‘good’ and expose harm is clearly a load of crap. If you really cared for your ex-partner, partner, wife or children there are many ways of showing concern, looking into things or delving and questioning in a way that’s not hate-mongering, vicious, cruel, judgmental and abusive. It is ludicrous to say or suggest that women are more weak-willed and likely to follow a cult leader mindlessly, it is denigrating to condone an article where it is suggested that a woman’s body is not her own if she is married and a man is entitled to fondle her breasts without permission and that it is strange and unreasonable for a woman to be entitled to ask a partner to be gentle during sex. It is appalling to bully single mothers with threats of taking their children when there are no facts to support that they are a part of any cult. It is particularly awful for these women because of the current trends favouring men in the media, biased one-sided reporting and deliberately taking a sensationalist approach to a story that had so much more on offer by the way of truth.
Back to some of the men involved is this hate-campaign; if you think it’s all right to shred, judge and rip apart other people online, then I am going to do the same for you…. Man 1. Total Douche Bag, big man about town, attitude filled wanker, worst example of the ‘used car sales man’ cliché, responsible for causing tension within otherwise harmonious relationships by spreading conspiracy theories and suspicion, recruiting other haters and has done more damage in this last year, than all the lies and crap he is putting on others. Man 2. Miserable Angry A-hole that constantly puts down and verbally abuses his ex-partner of 6 years, has never held down a regular job, has no assests, no income to support his children and no balls: only a true bully picks on a woman half his size and age. Now buddying up together they have found a shared love of blame and hatred and because they so obviously are not real men, with real jobs, and apparently have all the time in the world to go about destroying the lives of good, honest people that have nothing to hide. And note that I have still not publically named and shamed you even though I could and have been able to for some time.
The community of Bangalow in general now has to stand up together, regardless of involvement in Universal Medicine or not; if you do not agree with this treatment of women (children and men) within our community then stand up. If you hear something said, maybe question it? Maybe don’t jump to conclusions? Especially if you know some of these women and it does not appear to fit with what and how you know them? I don’t care what you are into, I am not forcing anything on you, but this concerns the welfare of our citizens. Disgruntled partners that can’t come to an arrangement need to pursue legal and ethical mediated sessions to work things out, all the women involved would be relieved, as I know they have all been nothing short of reasonable with these men that have been nothing short of disgraceful in return. No woman should feel unsafe in her own home. No child should have dad calling mum a mindless fool. No woman should have friends or community gossip behind her back because at first she remained the bigger person and did not share the truth of the insidious treatment from a former partner with others, out of respect for the past relationship and children involved. No community should stand by and let men like this lurk around and make our town a horrible place to live. Julia Gillard stood up to Tony Abbot and shredded his claim to be suddenly for women’s rights when he had a track record of sexism and misogyny. Now we should all stand up and ask these men to come out of hiding and answer for what they are doing and why… enough is enough.
That’s true Kyla. How does the media and these online bullies continue with the lies with no foundation or facts? We have got ourselves into a mess and we are all responsible. Our systems represent abuse that are far from equality and true respect and decency. Where are we at? Why isn’t there any asking these basic questions also?
Some powerful strong feelings here Kyla, and when expressed its a clear no to the abuse that is being meted out by the individuals involved and the media that is complicit. We need more of this, more of the world saying a clear no to abuse.
Reading this one can’t help but realise how serious this actually is. What these people are doing is literally trying to destroy the lives of many and they won’t even blink an eye, the maliciousness and hatred is evident and if we remain silent we are only allowing such behaviour.
Well said Kyla, I hope you are still in business supporting this change that is so direly needed and called for. And especially for everyone feeling they do not have the strength to change things around themselves.
People standing up and speaking their truth can be hugely uncomfortable for those of us who are embedding in our comfortable ways and who do not want to rock the boat. But in that not wanting to rock the boat it leaves the door open for all manner of ill acts that we can inflict on each other – after all, no one is going to call out the behaviour and hold us accountable. So, those of us who want to keep quiet and stand in the background are as guilty as those performing the ill acts.
We can say many things about what people says to show that it is all false. But, it is first and foremost, to learn to keep walking when everything is set up to make us stop. It is about learning to confirm ourselves deeply in the truth of what we deeply know it is true.
Putting someone down because you disagree with them leads to an inner loneliness for that person in the end. History has shown this time and time again, do we really need to repeat it again when the end result is misery for those who choose this form of abuse?
Abuse is abuse and hiding under the guise of anonymity or concerned citizens doesn’t change that.
It’s horrific that this type of abuse is not seen as a punishable crime. The lack of responsibility these men have is abhorrent and needs to be put to rest. Well done Kyla for bringing the truth to the forefront and saying NO to this behaviour.
The world is needing a total overhaul when a person who makes truly supportive changes for themselves is bullied and made to feel like there is something wrong with them.
Well said Kyla, enough is enough, when we make choices to change the way we live and eat in order to improve our own health we should be celebrating those choices, not being harassed for having made more loving choices.
Kyla you wrote this in 2012 and I agree with all that you have said, no community or person should stand by and watch anybody being abused whether mentally, emotionally, sexually or verbally as well as defame; this is just common decency. It is now 2017 and this particular abuse has continued. How are we then as a society that we have let this carry on and happen, not just here but all over the world in many different situations. What are our values, our priorities and what in life are we demanding even energetically moment to moment? When we say ‘Enough is Enough’ is every single one of us living in a way consistently so that is saying this.
It takes no courage to denigrate another, whether in a sneaky and anonymous way or in any other way. Pure irresponsibility.