by Gabriele Conrad, Goonellabah, Australia
It wasn’t that I truly ever thought drinking alcohol was okay, but everybody was doing it and I wanted to fit in.
Not drinking did make sense to me. What I noticed though, was that everybody seemed to be drinking a lot of coffee, and that some people who had stopped drinking because they were alcoholics, actually smoked a lot of cigarettes. A lesser evil so to speak, because drinking heaps of coffee and smoking did not lead to violence and family breakups: but were people just swapping one addiction for a lesser one and exchanging one prop for another?
One day, upon opening a new bottle, which I would then usually nurse along over two or three evenings, and whilst keenly feeling the anticipation, the relief the glass of wine would bring me any moment and that sense of having deserved it, I thought: “What kind of life am I leading; what are my working days really like when I can’t wait to get this glass of wine into me?”
Well, that was the end of that – no New Year’s resolutions, no planning ahead of how I would manage to not drink, nothing at all – just the insight of the fact that there must be something wrong with my life to have to drink wine in the evening after work, and be looking forward to it so much.
So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid.
Not drinking was therefore extremely easy and quite natural. I just did not drink anymore and started attending to my life, my working life, my relationships and my choices, the whole lot. I started taking responsibility for how I was feeling during the day, paying attention to when I felt drained and questioning and gradually changing all those things that I had accepted as normal, but which were in fact depleting me to the point that I could hardly wait to get that numbing sugar hit in the evening.
When everything is clearly defined, it feels bizarre to continue doing some things in the name of reward. Absolute honesty in this case, paves the loving way and it’s in our hands, thus making some choices is as easy as being truthful, as harm is harm and love is love. No contradiction, no fight, but the opportunity of surrendering to the evidence and then, instantly decide another way.
When we understand that it is not so much ‘giving up’ something but enriching our lives then there is so much more to appreciate.
Although I stopped drinking alcohol years ago .. really easily and a joy to do, what came to me after reading this blog and what I have been feeling the last few days is how am I in life? As I can feel I am still holding back and not bringing all of me in every moment. Love this awareness and honesty though and it is with both of these I can bring the change that is needed.
What kind of day are we having when we are looking forward to a contrived better place, time to rest, time to eat, time out or time to relax in front of a screen? If we are focusing on our day, with us being present with what we are ‘doing,’ this can take away the looking-looking-looking-forward to those things we are ‘addicted-to- and the events that may not take place! So our whole day would become more enjoyable because we are not indulging in the future but are present with ourselves as we are go about our day.
Being present with ourselves as we go about our day is a wise choice.
Starting to attend to our lives, what a great way to put what it is to have a true relationship with us and hence our lives.
It can be quite difficult to accept that it’s the way we lead our life that’s the problem and not the band-aids that we use. But if we are honest with ourselves and get to the root of it, life-changes are plain and simple.
How we live our lives is more important than propping it up with band-aids, ‘So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid.’
It is so true what you share Gabriele that we can just swap our addictions as that insatiable addictive need feels the same no matter what the flavor of addiction is. At the moment I am craving salt big time and potato crisps are giving me that hit. And every time I eat them though I know they are not healthy for me I ignore this fact and eat them like the cookie monster devoured his cookies on sesame street. But that temptation that ‘I have to have my chips’ feels very similar to when I desperately wanted that alcoholic drink to placate me or that cigarette back when I smoked… Addiction is a fascinating topic that undermines far too many of us and we all need to discuss it much more honestly, transparently and openly.
Yes, unless we get to the root of the addiction, then when we give up an addiction, we just move from one addiction to another
We need to say yes to something other than the addiction; it’s like the Gentle Breath Meditation® where we give the mind something to do, bringing it back to the breath and the body every time it strays.
Great revelation Gabriele, one that the rest of humanity could possibly be inspired by.
Giving up anything can be as simple as that when we truly feel and take responsibility for our actions.
It just goes to show how empowering it is to self-reflect on how we are feeling. Our willingness to be honest about what we are feeling is what allows us to explore the truth of why we are making the choices we are making, and the effect they have on our body and being. From this point simply honoring that which feels true feel more and more natural and without effort our choices begin to reflect this. Are we freely living our full potential or do we ‘need’ stimulants and rewards to help us get through the day or night? For at the end of the day it is only ourselves that determines the quality of lives we live, this responsibility is only ours and cannot be avoided, whether we are willing to embrace it or not.
It is really so simple, how we live is the result of how we feel at the end of each day. The responsibility to address the lifestyle we live is a far greater support to our body and mind that an alcoholic drink the numbs and holds us in the same pattern, setting us up to repeat the same day tomorrow.
There is great power and liberation in our willingness to truly see and observe the momentums we are in, what we are aligning to and why. Our connection to our bodes offer us the greatest support with this hence the great wisdom in us developing a loving and honouring relationship with our bodies, our temples of God.
Mainstream addictions are our chosen way to try manage life from a body harmed by our primary addiction, namely, our addiction to aligning to pranic energy and the devastation which that brings to us.
Not to mention the ensuing eternal unsettlement of a spark that is part of the whole, forever and needs to quell, by whatever means, the devastation that only oneness can settle.
Until we see and feel the true imposition that pranic energy is, nothing is done to allay the addiction we have acquired to its constant stimulation of our body.
Pranic energy is the root cause of so much unrest and evil in this world, ‘our primary addiction, namely, our addiction to aligning to pranic energy and the devastation which that brings to us.’
Giving up anything really can be as easy as you descirbe here Gabrielle, once we are willing to see where our habits and patterns of behaviour are leading us. It can just take a stop moment for us to wake up and ‘smell the coffee’ so to speak to then make a choice to make a lasting and beneficial change to the way we live our lives.
Great question, why do we need a reward at the end of the day? If our day was complete we would not need this.
Very true marylouisemyers, ‘why do we need a reward at the end of the day? If our day was complete we would not need this.’
This blog would put AA out of business if those that attended these meetings were to read it.
True – no need to run around until the end of one’s days and declare oneself to be a recovering alcoholic. No more identification with what has not served and is long gone.
Exactly Gabrielle as if you stay identified with the past and /or past behaviours then you can not let it go and truly heal
Plain common sense rules! Love it Gabriele and love your common sense – it is infectious (in a good way of course) 😉
‘ I started taking responsibility for how I was feeling during the day, paying attention to when I felt drained and questioning and gradually changing all those things that I had accepted as normal, but which were in fact depleting me to the point that I could hardly wait to get that numbing sugar hit in the evening.’ I’m starting to see how all my coping behaviours are symptoms of what energy I choose to run my body in – will it be anxiousness and worry, or will it be allowing myself to feel every nook and cranny of my day, not shutting any part of my awareness out, so that I’m hiding from what I know and do feel?
And as simple as you wrote this it is. I had a client this morning who shared she never really liked alcohol, but it seemed part of ‘belonging’ to the group. And this week she decided to choose for herself and not drink alcohol anymore. She loved how clear and healthy she felt after this.
Alcohol is a common ingredient when it comes to domestic violence and relationship break ups etc. But when we simply replace this with another habit, without dealing with the underlying dis-ease that we feel then nothing really changes. I have never been one to long for and drink alcohol at the end of a day, but I spent many years justifying eating chocolate as a ‘treat’ until such time that I felt what it actually did to me (the sugar buzz, the caffeine hit that kept me jittery and awake etc etc), and then when I asked myself why I was seeking this, I got to realise there were things I did not want to feel – things that made me feel miserable and unhappy and so instead of dealing with these things, it was easier to reach for the chocolate. But how revealing is it that we can simply opt for a way to numb ourselves, Or alternatively, seek to find the cause of our un-rest and hence take responsibility and change our lives for ever, leaving behind a behaviour that was never supporting us to begin with.
For sure, replacing one habit (alcohol consumption) with another (lots of coffee, e.g.) is only a solution but certainly not the answer to our behaviours and why we do what we do but don’t really want to do and in most instances, know better anyway.
Love it Gabriele! This it is in its simplicity: “So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid.” – and it could be alcohol or cigarettes, or it could be craving that chocolate at the end of the day with the justification that it is dark chocolate and hence ‘healthy’ for us.
Oh yes, everything is healthy, including the unhealthy health food stores and then there is ‘everything in moderation” – a little arsenic or snake venom anybody? And most of all, everything is good and better and there is right and wrong; wow, so many consciousnesses that we eagerly subscribe to.
It is interesting how we can grow up with alcohol and never question if it is good for the body or not. Before I attended Universal Medicine courses, I knew that alcohol did not agree with me because I would have some horrendous hangovers and would get drunk on one drink but it never occurred to me to stop completely. Then when I heard that alcohol is a poison to the body, it is as though I sat up and paid attention because I had always known it but seemed hardwired to make it a part of my life. So, once it was confirmed what I had already felt for myself, giving it up completely was an instant decision.
So true Julie for alcohols presence on our dinner tables and in our lives is considered totally normal in today’s world – but collectively we really need to start to be honest about the harm it can bring to our relationships, health and the burden it places on the healthcare system with the accidents, injuries and fights it can cause.
We pass alcohol consumption off as normal because just about everybody does it but that doesn’t mean it’s natural, wholesome or healthy; leave alone the aftermath of domestic, societal and health issues that entail.
I have to say nothing ever feels so real as when I attend to my life in commitment. No alcohol or medication can ever compare to this feeling.
Thank you Gabriele, it makes sense that the alcohol can be a symptom of how we’re living life, and by making choices that support the body to be more vital, and by addressing other daily issues that impact on our health and wellbeing, we can reach a point where alcohol is then not needed. It changes our understanding of unhealthy choices and addiction because it’s approached as a whole picture of life, not just the action of drinking (or overeating, etc).
I’ve found that when I really feel the effect on my body of something I am doing then it’s quite simple and easy to let go of. I was just at a cafe that I haven’t been to for about a year and I had my usual order, yet once I started eating it, I realised It felt completely different in my body, it didn’t give me the same ‘fulfilment’ that it did a year ago and I could feel how much I had changed. My husband and I walked away saying well that’s done, won’t be going back.
Awesome awareness here Aimee – and I love the fact that you clocked the fullfillment was missing! This to me is a key aspect that reminds me that I am seeking something outside of myself to make me feel ‘better’ which is very revealing in terms of then having to be honest enough to say I was not feeling wonderful to begin with! Wowza – so much to explore and allow ourselves to feel.
I was scrolling through the comments and I came across something I wrote a year ago. It is similar to what I feel to write now; and that is how I use food (used to be alcohol) to bring me relief and also what I deserve for doing such a great job throughout my day. This is a daily behaviour too. I am so aware that I am doing it too .. so it makes me wonder how aware I must be leading up to this behaviour. So, is it that I am not appreciating feeling how much I am honouring others and at the same time need to equally honour me. Eating this food the way I do is not honouring me – a build up of the day where I have not honoured the way I am feeling.
When we truly resolve something, no longer having it is very normal…hence there is no ra ra or struggle of any kind. There is also no excitement or elation either, just a ‘great now let’s get on with it’.
This is massive revelation you’ve shared here Gabriele, ‘So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid.’ This highlights to me why so many people seem to rely on numerous forms of Band-Aids, i.e alcohol, sugar, coffee, drugs, shopping, holidays, drama etc. and the list goes on. The truth is our addictions are like you shared a Band-Aid that is covering up the problem and also, they are communicating something to us but are we willing stop and listen?
“So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid” – all the lies we live with will all start crumbling when faced with this kind of honesty. How healing it is to be able to say that with the whole body.
Bring honesty into our lives, ‘So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid’.
A great article Gabriele, when we become honest with how our bodies are feeling and become responsible for how we are living, then true change can happen.
We try to fit in at the expense of ourselves rather than honouring what we know is true.
Isn’t it amazing what eventuates when we bring honesty into our lives and honor what we are feeling, as we have greater insight as to what we are choosing, why, how it makes us feel and if it is how we really want to be living.
It’s a good point how we can just exchange one prop for another… Unless we give ourselves the opportunity to examine or reflect on what it may be in our way of living that is causing the need for that prop, thereby giving ourselves the chance to heal and embrace a different way of living and relating with others that is more true to who we are.
My experience of giving up alcohol was similar in the sense that it was no great act of will power or dramatic decision. The desire for it just fell away from me because I had recognised the need to choose a more self-loving way of being and it was clear that drinking alcohol was not part of such a way.
True – when there is understanding, no willpower is needed and we leave behind what we know does not serve us.
Beautifully said Gabriele – when we are guided by the truth of our bodies no struggle or effort is needed, such is the liberation offered through our surrender to truth.
It is with self care that we deepen the love we have for ourselves and as we deepen that love we start to bring more honesty to the choices we are making.
I can remember my last drink very clearly. I had stopped drinking nearly 2 years before when I removed all forms of sugar from my diet, and was feeling great as a result, but for some inexplicable reason this night I decided to have a glass of wine. But the minute the wine hit my mouth, my common sense kicked in and the wine was promptly spat out! And since that day 17 years ago I have not missed it as, honestly, I really didn’t like drinking in the first place.
When we really let ourselves sense how alcohol smells, tastes and feels there is no way we can put it in our body and get it down. It’s abusive.
Not drinking was actually quite a relief. When I realised I never really liked it and it was something I did only because it was the done thing, I felt liberated.
Same Nikki, it was like I connected back to my authority again, to realise I never liked it anyway.
I’ve often wondered if it’s like that for quite a few people. The hold of alcohol is quite strong – it’s like it casts a spell and society thinks it’s something you need to do to relax/have fun/socialise. Yet maybe everyone is just going about it not actually in truth liking it.
Imbibing spirits is accepted as normal and something that everybody does; if you don’t drink, you’re the odd one out when in effect, it should be the other way around – what, you’re gonna drink THAT? Are you serious?
If you take it back to what alcohol actually is – it is a poison (a known poison) for the body. Would you offer anyone poison? Or ask them why they choose to not drink it?
A bit like offering arsenic or snake venom ‘in moderation’ because it’s gotta be good for us – go figure.
I never liked alcohol; I wonder how many people disliked alcohol, or still dislike it, but drink it to fit in?
Interesting how we abandon ourselves and disregard the truth of our body in exchange for some recognition and acceptance, is it not?
Loved your simple explanation, once we realise that alcohol is numbing us from feeling what is truly going on, and we are open enough to looking at and being honest about what may be the cause, we no longer need the alcohol and as you say, no drama just common sense.
So simple. If we make life the focus it is quite different to making any problems, addictions or issues the focus.
When we are truly honest with ourselves, we realise the things that are unsupportive for our bodies and used as ‘band-aids’.
Three years ago, I gave up alcohol or shall I say my body did, it was screaming at me ‘please no more,’ and I certainly do not miss it anymore. I only need to be around someone drinking alcohol and I have a hangover, amazing how the body has become so sensitive to what is truly not serving. This was the same with fruit, I used to love water melon and one day I must have indulged and boy did I pay for it the following day……not worth it.
It is common sense for sure yet we have overridden the signals. Common sense prevails in all of us, its a matter of being honest with the amount of band aids we use.
You know when you talk about something and then a day comes when you bring that talk to action, you may call this ground zero. When you finally hit a point where your words have come home and it’s time to stand up, alcohol was one of those words. I’d had a lot of first hand experience of the impacts alcohol can have on peoples lives but the kicker for me was consistently how bad it made me feel. It just came to an end when I could just no longer put up with how it made me feel, what it did to me and how it impacted on what happened around me. So the ‘giving up’ wasn’t a give up but more of a following through, an actioning of something that had been felt a long time before. Not drinking alcohol isn’t even a ‘not drinking alcohol it’s no longer a decision or a choice it just doesn’t make sense.
Well said Jane, we need to very honest about what is draining us throughout the day instead of just reaching for the quick ‘fix’ whether that is in the form of food, caffeine, alcohol, sugar or any other behaviour that we find stimulating.
‘So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid.’ Great point Gabriele, this is also true of many other addictions we use as well in life to cover up and distract ourselves from our problems whether that be TV, using technology, drugs, food, emotions, etc.
I love this blog Gabriele it makes total sense. I also realised that with alcohol I went places and stayed way beyond the time I would without alcohol. I recall that back in the day when we had people around who didn’t drink everything was cooked, said, eaten and cleaned within 3hours maximum. Whereas with alcohol everything dragged on for hours well past the real finish time and often the mess was left for the morning when I, without fail no matter how little I drunk, had a hangover from hell . . . and this is usually what people call ‘a good’ time . . . having a party in your head without truly connecting to anyone and suffering afterwards.
I stopped drinking quite abruptly also. it just dawned on me one day that I didn’t actually have to drink, that I could choose not to. It was never really for me, I was a later bloomer on the alcohol front (by comparison to my peers I mean), and although I believed I had some fun times. I was never really hanging out to drink, it was just an activity I felt obligated to participate in. But the day it hit me that I had a choice I felt enormous relief.
Drinking seems to be another one of those ‘givens’, something everybody does. It is ‘normal’ – but who says? What is this consciousness that we align and succumb to, make ourselves a slave of when we leave our body and our discernment out of the equation?
We excel at the art of fitting it. We all find our way… to harm us.
I appreciate your comment – we do everything and twist ourselves into whatever shape that is needed in order to fit in and not stand out.
We abuse ourselves, ‘we do everything and twist ourselves into whatever shape that is needed in order to fit in and not stand out.’
“So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid.” A Band-Aid that keeps the wound festering and prevents you from dealing with the problem.
What a great realisation Gabriele; “What kind of life am I leading; what are my working days really like when I can’t wait to get this glass of wine into me?” Being honest and open to look into ones life allows for different choices to happen, and in your case giving up alcohol was an easy choice.
I remember the last glass of alcohol I had. It was a decision that I didn’t announce to anyone, but I knew I wouldn’t drink again. Its funny I had been thinking about stopping drinking for a few years and ended up gradually lowering my alcohol consumption to maybe a glass or so every month. What I found was the effect of that odd glass played havoc with my body and I really began to notice the effects it had on me. It was a no brainer. Interestingly enough I knew when I had my first drink it tasted awful and affected me badly, but I overrode that message for 20 years and kept drinking.
And that would be true for many – alcohol and cigarettes affect us badly and taste terrible but we want to fit in and appear sophisticated and grown up and thus we go against what our body is clearly showing us.
Classic, when you put it in such plain language, it makes heaps of sense. Why do we crave sugary and numbing food and drink at the end of the day? The reason is in order not to feel something we didn’t or don’t like. Adjust these things throughout the day or begin to feel them and presto, nothing to escape from. The way you point out that drinking is just a Band-Aid is so true and if it’s not drinking, many other Band-Aids are waiting to fill in and be the replacement. When we view life in this very simple and practical approach there is zero judgment.
I love what you point out here – the utter simplicity and practicality of living from common sense and adding things up. We tend to avoid it because it calls upon us to take responsibility.
Ah yes responsibility…! When we are willing to be really honest with how we are feeling and consider the effect that our choices have on our bodies and being, we then come to know what truly supports us to live, work and be in a way that honors who we are and the vitality we are born to live with.
“What kind of life am I leading; what are my working days really like when I can’t wait to get this glass of wine into me?” This is quite a question and can be applied to many a substance. But the very beautiful thing about this question is how open it is and how it invites a deeper self-reflection rather than any kind of self-critique. How am I living, that I need this?
Shows that when we don’t deal with the underlying cause or root of the issues we will just seek another sort of band-aid to numb what’s going on.
True – we numb the absence of one behaviour by taking up another behaviour; possibly a more ‘acceptable’ one, even a less obvious one but free of our reactions we are not.
Your amazing blog would be a very good lecture for people around the world who feel that they have some sort of addiction – it would open them a door to get another understanding how they were living their lives and how they can make other choices to get rid of that addiction.
If alcohol is just a bandaid to cover a hurt it makes me wonder what is festering underneath and will never be able to heal while it is covered and hidden from the light.
Earlier this week I was part of a presentation to a group of people on health and wellbeing. The presentation was very well received on the whole but there was one minor piece of apparently negative feedback which was that our talk was ‘just common sense’. And it was. But this is surely because we all know what to do to look after ourselves better, to be more self-loving and self-caring. What do we expect? Some magic pill to take away all our issues? The ‘magic pill’ is common sense but do we heed its advice – or do we ignore it for a more the hope of a more exiting or less demanding solution? Does heeding our common sense seem like too much bother and responsibility? My feeling is that we must learn to heed our common sense for it does in truth offer us much wisdom.
Thanks for sharing this, it is very revealing of how much we love complication and complexity, something to undertake and brace ourselves against, mountains to climb. When the true answers are presented in their simplicity and common sense, we baulk at them and think, “surely, it can’t be that easy!” I wonder whether that has to do with a certain level of pride and arrogance, realising that the answers to our woes have always been there.
Yes – and a level of comfort too Gabriele. Perhaps we have become so used to ‘popping a pill’ to resolve our issues in life, that anything else is too much bother.
The freedom of allowing your body to move the way you feel is an enormous exploration and claiming. It is so revealing and thus exposing that I expect an attack via a reaction to come at me. So, before it comes, and because in the past I have been crushed in this state, I numb this innate awareness down by going to a ‘vice’ for relief. Over the years I have ceased using vices like alcohol and drugs but still use other vices like food, especially at the end of the day. Until recently I thought being in this state was not acceptable but it’s the direct opposite. I experienced this at a Sacred Movement men’s group. Being in my sacredness is confronting but the more I allow it the more I accept it. It is is superb – a new marker!
Were we all to look at our own health and well-being with such honesty, and willingness to reflect, the state of our health individually and societally, would undoubtedly paint a very different picture to the rampant extent of illness and disease today, inclusive of those conditions which are so dominantly influenced by our lifestyle and behavioural choices.
Drinking alcohol to fit in is something, I’m sure, many of us can relate to. At parties I would fill up an empty beer bottle with water so people wouldn’t harass me for not drinking! What does that say about society and our relationships with each other?
Good party trick but yes, what does it say about us? Having to pretend that we are drinking in order to fit in. What are we trying to fit ourselves into, I wonder – some kind of acceptable normalcy that is always on the lookout for approval and inclusion, no matter the standards of compliance and the rules?
“…always on the lookout for approval and inclusion…” What a reminder these words are to me Gabriele; thank you.
This was me too! Other than my younger days in my late teenss, I was never much of a drinker; and later I had generally avoided it; but as work became more stressful I would come home and look for a bottle of wine. Each evening I would have just one glass. When I had exhausted my supply I turned to the liqueurs; and after a couple of evenings I asked myself WHY?
And I answered, “because it was [somehow] expected.” I realised that I never really wanted those glasses of wine, they didn’t make me feel any better; and most definitely, the problems at work didn’t just go away! They just gave me something to somehow be a part of. As a result not one drop of alcohol has passed my lips since. It was an easy, obvious choice; and I addressed my approach to work instead!
When we have an insight into how we are living, and ask questions about what is going on – we begin to see our behaviour as a symptom and then we can actually look at what exactly it is we’re avoiding. I gave up smoking in this way, someone was trying to talk to me one evening and I lit a cigarette rather than engage with them and in that moment I had this image of me using cigarettes as a literal smokescreen between me and life, and all of a sudden I was able to give them up, because in that moment I felt very strongly I did not want to live like that, and that this was not how life could be. I’ve never looked back, it’s weird, I forget I ever smoked and I have no craving, and it’s not disclipine, just an acceptance that I want to be aware and engage in life without a smoke screen. And it’s continued since as I’ve dropped other things I can feel and do not support or allow me to be fully me in life.
It was very similar for me with giving up smoking – just like you, I realised I was using it as a smoke screen and a way to keep people at a distance, an apparently safe distance; once I knew that, I couldn’t but give it up. I still occasionally smoked after that until I realised that I needed to smoke after a heavy meal and with a strong cup of coffee, as though to make them more palatable. They went over time as well and one day I was wondering why I had this need to smoke at all. I realised I was indulging in an old habit and was feeling elated that I managed to smoke sporadically when in the past, I would have kept going and finished the whole packet. And that’s when I just gave it away, never to look back again.
Wonderful words Monica: “this image of me using cigarettes as a literal smokescreen between me and life”.
For a short period of time this is how I used my mobile phone. If I found myself feeling uncomfortable with people I didn’t know, like waiting in the doctor’s waiting room, or sitting in public transport, out would come my mobile so that I could avoid others’ gazes, or intrusive conversation.
I started feeling uncomfortable about this and began to realise how shallow, rude, arrogant and even ignorant I was being to these innocent people whom I was somehow judging as being unwelcome.
Now I see them differently as my mobile stays in my bag. I find that I enjoy talking to people: sharing a little of me and learning a little about them. Increasing my knowledge, awareness, experience and enjoyment of my fellow human beings.
I was never a big drinker and never had alcohol after work but how I sort relief from my day was through food. I still am doing that, coming home and needing to eat something… anything. It reminds me of coming home from school and eating until I was full and drained. It is so empowering and something to appreciate when we can stop and say ‘how am I in my day that I then ‘need’ this?’.
Yes, it doesn’t have to be alcohol, it can be a myriad of substances and replacements and some of them are deemed totally okay and ‘normal’ and accepted. And like you, I have been asking myself “what is this gap, this emptiness and lack that I am trying to fill here? What is this giving me (not really, though) that is missing?”
Great questions Gabriele. And what I’ve found is that stopping to ask something like this, arrests the momentum and allows more honesty, instead of just going through the motions. Great questions to put on the fridge 🙂
Stopping drinking alcohol came with more pre-thought for me but when I did stop, that was it. No will power needed and absolutely no going back. A few years later on hearing the presentations by Serge Benhayon I was able to understand more clearly what I had been feeling and why I had chosen to stop. It was very confirming.
“So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid.” When we realise this, we stop trying to give up the alcohol and become more focussed on the real problem… the way we are living.
Gabriele, so simple and very straightforward, no drama, when you realised that in your drinking you were avoiding dealing with your life, brilliant. And so then it became a real choice, change your life, attend to it or use the prop of alcohol to avoid it.
It is that simple and can be applied to all areas of life, i.e. overconsumption of food, checking out in front of the TV, etc etc.
Thank you Gabriele and Monica. You’ve just helped me to see where I’ve been making a total meal of a regular habit of overeating (pun intended!).
It seems to me that when we get to the truth of our issues and we become honest with ourselves, it is much harder to continue with a behaviour like drinking alcohol. We know it is not a real answer and so to continue with it is pretty pointless. There are a number of behaviours I have dropped once this honesty has come in – as you say Gabriele, with no drama or struggle – they just fall away.
‘So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid.’ How interesting that this line alone tells us all where we are in the world with this drug, with all drugs for that matter. And yet doggedly, we dig and bury all that we know to be true so we don’t have to see the truth of how we choose to live.
I love a revelation that needs no pondering on, just an instant knowing that offers instant change.
“So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid”. Love this Gabriele, imagine if every one in AA took this on board and started to look at their lifestyle choices. There would no longer be the statement ”I am an Alcoholic and have been clean for such and such years” They would be noticing that if they change the way they live and truly address the reason why they drank in the first place they would no longer even feel like having a drink. They would not live in the fear that they may return to drinking. I know this because I was once an alcoholic that thought I would never give up drinking, now I would never consider to drink even in my darkest moments. So what changed? Me committing to living in a way that was self loving, self nurturing and connecting to a bigger picture.
Good point, this fear of returning to a life of drinking because the true underlying issues, hurts and valid sensitivities have not been addressed and healed . Once we do that, we don’t need any labels such as “I am an alcoholic” because it (drinking, for example) doesn’t even enter our mind.
We all have our own scale regarding addictions. That is why we tend even to celebrate that we go ‘down the scale.’ Yet, settling in for that movement, makes very hard for us to pose questions regarding our relationship with addictions (a totally different movement to make).
Great point you make – if we lessen or modify an addiction we sit back on our laurels, fair enough; but do we need to take it deeper and question the reason for the addictive behaviour: why did we choose it, what is it covering up or relieving? What is it that is not working in our life?
I really love how a moment of realization can have a very powerful effect on our choices ever after. We can try very hard giving things up, changing our habits – but often times it is very big effort and it just doesn’t last. But sometimes it feels as though a switch has been flicked and something changes 180 degree completely, and there’s no way to return to the way it was. Having a Sacred Esoteric Healing session brought me to one such moment and I am forever grateful for that.
When we feel what is the truth about things like drinking alcohol, like that it was a band-aid not the true problem, it is very possible and even simple to give up alcohol.
Thank you Gabriele for a simple honest sharing, it was amazing how easy it was for you to stop drinking. Great to take an honest stock take of your life realising the drink was not the real problem, but how you were living, then in response, choosing to honour what you were feeling in your body and make changes.
Alcohol was an escape for me, change the circumstances and I no longer choose to escape but to engage with life, sorting out the root causes of my choice to drink in allowing other behaviours to overshadow the person I am, not something I would ever choose again as the relationship and responsibility to my body is a union I naturally enjoy without any need to escape.
When we use this instrument, the mind, from the right source – with honesty and self-love, it has the power to end abuse. In ourselves and in the world.
‘So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid’. Well said Gabrielle.
The simplest way to easily drop alcohol for good, as Gabriele shows, is to simply increase our awareness. Once we can feel in full what is in store for us before we even open the bottle, it is very easy to drop alcohol.
Good point, work on what is tangible and simple and the perceived problem drops away, where that is alcohol consumption or overeating – it makes it about choices and consequences and over time it is then just a no brainer.
Having been a drinker in the past I can absolutely relate. It was so normal to use alcohol as a way of coping to get through life without having address why I needed something to cope to begin with. It’s amazing how clear things become when you don’t numb or distract yourself from what you’re really feeling and even find the desire to take responsibility and address why you wanted to in the first place.
I approached drinking alcohol in much the same way – I couldn’t wait for the weekend when my reward for a hard (or even not so hard) week would be a glass of wine. I also gave up very easily as well when I took responsibility for why I was using alcohol & to be honest about the fact that I was both exhausted and wanting some relief from the stresses in my life. When I started to address this, and to feel how alcohol actually felt in my body, it was an easy choice.
Once we connect with the body more (or at all for that matter), the effect of alcohol can be clearly felt and it is not something one would ever want to go back to; moderation not needed, it is just completely off the radar.
Love this blog, no big deal just simply being honest and freeing yourself from a substance that is not supporting you to truly care and be connected to yourself. I wonder how many begin drinking alcohol just to ‘fit in’ and then become reliant on it because they are unwilling to deal with their issues – hurts.
Fitting in is bound to be a very important factor when we take up things like smoking or drinking. It is like we dare not stand out for making choices that honour rather than dishonour us.
Thank you for sharing.
“I started taking responsibility for how I was feeling during the day, paying attention to when I felt drained and questioning and gradually changing all those things that I had accepted as normal, but which were in fact depleting me to the point that I could hardly wait to get that numbing sugar hit in the evening.” I too remember those days – drinking my very weak shandy in the evenings, (which was still alcohol) and, as a child, in a family of drinkers, who waited and clock-watched until 6 pm before they could decently have a drink. Re-reading your blog, it struck me how for many (alcohol-free) years now I have never even thought of having a drink in the evening.
That is my experience as well – the though of drinking does not ever cross my mind, it is literally unthinkable that I could ever do that to myself again.
I love the simplicity of what you’ve shared here Gabriele. Coming to Universal Medicine and hearing Serge Benhayon speak on the effects of alcohol on the body and the fact that we are no longer ourselves when under the influence was the final piece that made me decide to no longer drink. I had known as so many of us do that it doesn’t solve anything and makes any difficult situation worse and even the so-called good times with alcohol are damaging because they are not true.
Yes, even “the so-called good times with alcohol are damaging because they are not true”. In my experience they give a momentary elation that is invariably followed by a hangover of some kind, whether physical/physiological or mental/emotional and frequently both. It just isn’t the real deal and ‘under the influence’ of a substance that is very foreign and unnatural to the body.
Millions of people make such resolutions and then don’t follow them. You just took a choice and went along with it. This still is a miracle to me and I know that studying Universal Medicine belongs to the most supportive and loving things one can choose in life.
I agree, Universal Medicine and universal medicine do away with the conundrum of all those resolutions that don’t ever work for very long or end up being fanatical or very rigid lifestyles.
In the past I used to make a lot of resolutions, at anytime of the year. In truth it never really changed anything in my life because I had an ideal about the way I wanted something to be instead of looking at the underlying causes for my behaviours. Coming along to Universal Medicine presentations was a game changer for me and supported me to take responsibility to heal old patterns and hurts – learning to truly love had been the missing key in my life and simplified things beautifully.
Alcohol is the main way that we cope with our lives by numbing us so we don’t feel what we are living or what is going on around us. It’s a very huge thing to stop drinking a. because of what it means we need to start looking at and b. the reactions that can bring from others around us. It may seem like it’s going against the norm but it’s actually setting a new standard. I read recently that a lot of you people are choosing not to drink alcohol. I can see this will only increase and we will see the same thing with the alcohol industry as what we have seen with the tobacco industry.
I take it that you meant to write that a lot of YOUNG people are choosing not to drink alcohol – and yes, eventually alcohol will go down the same road as tobacco, kicking and screaming to the end but nevertheless, it is bound to eventually happen.
I used to think that I loved alcohol and I would have tried to convince anyone that this was the case. However, one day I was listening to Serge Benhayon present on what happens energetically when we drink alcohol and from that moment onwards I have never drunk alcohol again. I got to see that whilst I thought having alcohol in moderation was okay I realized that I was not seeing what it was doing on an energetic level. Understanding the energetic side of things changed everything for me.
True – once you know the more hidden effects of alcohol (hidden even though we all notice them because alcohol alters us), you think twice about it and then you don’t have to think about it at all anymore because you just stop doing it; if you take responsibility for your choices, that is.
And even what it does to our body. Its interesting how its promoted for being good for different parts of our body but not the whole. Something cannot be a little bit beneficial or a little bit harming for our bodies. It either is or it isn’t.
I wonder whether this is more a case of sponsored science, paid for and tightly commissioned research – and as you say, you can’t be just a little bit pregnant, you either are or you are not.
I feel it is time that we open up the discussion about alcohol. I get the question why I don’t drink, but why don’t we ask each why you do drink?
Good point – drinking is considered so ‘normal’ that nobody remembers to ask “why do you drink?” Instead it is those that don’t who have to somehow explain or defend themselves. Reality is that everybody knows this stuff is no good for us.
Yes we all know, without a doubt, but the need to numb ourselves and not feel is bigger than to say no the poison that we put in our body.
Mariette that is a great question and very true. I wonder how many people really consider why in fact they do drink, I know I didn’t when I did. I fact I thought that I was doing myself a favour my have only a few drinks.
‘Drinking in moderation’ is still drinking and doesn’t ever question why we want or need to put this substance into our body in the first place; it might be a good start and is superficially ‘better’ than getting drunk, but are we not kidding ourselves here? The moderate intake of poison is still poisonous, after all.
This is a great blog, and it find that that is the way to stop all kinds of behaviours that are not supporting, take a step back and see the bigger picture, and take full responsibility. That is the key.
Seeing the bigger picture in everything that we do will let us see our responsibility in this bigger picture – which makes it much easier to let go of what does neither support us nor anyone else.
Wow, speaking of responsibility! It can be that simple, realizing that your life is the problem and the choices that you make and therefore, no one else to blame.
It makes it very simple and empowering – the moment we realise that there is nobody else to blame we are empowered to take responsibility and change what we do not like and what we know is not true and right, one step at a time.
It is indeed very empowering and it makes we wonder why in the past I never liked the word responsibility…I have always made it into something very heavy but in fact it is not. It is very freeing and makes me realize the impact I have on my own life and therefore every moment.
So enjoyed reading this today Gabriele. Realising now that although I was never a drinker I swapped the wine/alcohol for other numbing pursuits. The excuses would come along I’d change the chocolate bar for a homemade cake, which I would convince myself was a far healthier option or, cut the sugar and go for a savoury something. A huge list of excuses but, in truth the end results were exactly the same as if I’d eaten that bar of chocolate. Time to get honest as our amazing bodies never lie.
I have noticed this as well – doing things for the pursuit of a numbing kind of comfort does not work, no matter how convincing or apparently ‘different’ or more wholesome it might look on the surface.
It is interesting that many of the things we do to ‘fit in’ are not good for us – and we know it but we override it as fitting in is stronger than what we know is true. Universal Medicine presents that we all have the choice to choose truth and inspire others to fit in with with their truth. ‘Fitting in’ is a misinterpretation of our natural instinct for brotherhood where we know we are all equal.
Wonderful insight, thank you. You describe so well how ‘fitting in’ means today to join others in their ill pursuits and against our better knowledge when in reality is a reminder of our connectedness in truth and in love.
The moment we break our patterns is when we ask why we are doing what we are doing – and are totally honest and open to any answer we might find.
Since I stopped drinking and smoking more than 10 years ago, I have had a few dreams in which I was smoking or drinking and I would wake up horrified going ‘ Was that real, or not?’ because I could feel the same salty, sandy taste in the month I felt and associated as poison when I gave them up. Putting any substance in my body knowing they are poison just doesn’t make any sense any more. But there are some food I still eat knowing how it affects me, there are some behaviours I go into knowing they are not love. I do less of them, but they are still there – and I have been wondering why it is so hard… completely forgetting the look-and-deal-with-issue part to bring it a full-stop.
I agree with you – it is so much simpler and quite effortless when we dig a little deeper and get to the real cause of why we do what we do. After all, we are intelligent human beings (who don’t always act intelligently) and we don’t deliberately set out to destroy or harm ourselves, but somehow our (knowingly harmful) behaviours seem to make sense based on our life experiences, our hurts, our interpretations of what has happened. So it is well worth the effort of finding out what is behind it all and running the show.
Your blog made me realise that I never questioned not drinking alcohol. It was – and is – such an established way of living, way of socialising, that it was a natural progression, a rite of passage from girl to woman, kid to adult. Something to look forward to. I can always remember my first sip, thinking first ‘Yuk’, second ‘Why?’ and third ‘Better keep going’. The second sip was easier and suddenly I was part of the social scene. Decades later I gave up because I hated the dehydration, the flatness the next morning, the lack of vitality it gave me and of course, the metallic taste – something my body had immediately indicated to me on that very first sip years ago but that I had disregarded in full favour of fitting in.
You describe the progression of how we normalise alcohol vey succinctly – and where are we at as a society when imbibing something that tastes awful at first has become a kind of rite of passage into joining this cult of ‘normal’ and ‘everybody does it’. It seems more and more evident that just about everything in this world is upside down and back to front!
Why do we so often crave “that numbing sugar hit” in the evening? And why do we so deliberately use it to be able to stay up longer and thereby override that our body is telling us that it would be time to rest?
In response to your question I get a sense that it has to do with feeling unfulfilled about the way the day has been; a need to prolong it somehow, make it better and generally up the ante on it.
Up to the point where we are prepared to truly look at what we are doing, we will indeed swap one addiction for another one, that feels a little less evil. Running away from taking responsibility, as it then feels so much easier to just numb away what we do not want to feel.
Universal Medicine is the first school of ethics and true livelihood that doesn’t tell people to stop drinking or smoking etc. I deeply honor Universal Medicine for this. The “only” thing that Universal Medicine has ever suggested to me (not even asked for) is to be honest about what I do and why I do it. This honesty alone connects me so much with my body that certain patterns simply disappear. Not from harsh discipline or from moving symptoms to a hidden place, but from true healing.
Excellent, you are providing the bigger context within which I was able to make these changes simply and effortlessly.
“I just did not drink anymore and started attending to my life, my working life, my relationships and my choices, the whole lot” – I so love the simplicity of this. And what I am learning is that there’s no arrived-at point where I no longer have to look at the way I live, this is a constant process, and the simple approach you present here can be applied to anything at any time.
You draw attention to the bigger picture here, way beyond the consumption of alcohol but valid in all areas of life where our behaviours get in the way of our truth: asking the right questions, taking responsibility and acting on what has been revealed. And as you point out, it is simple then and doesn’t require any willpower or big effort, just common sense.
So true – I used to think there was an end point somewhere, a point where I could say that I had ‘arrived’ but through the Ageless Wisdom I have learnt that this kind of comfort is an illusion and falls far short of what we truly are.
Not being afraid of the mountain ahead, but moving it piece by piece with commitment and consistency turns monumental tasks into easy-going joy.
Isn’t it amazing how a point of clarity can release us from an attachment that seemed way too precious to consider letting it go? Lately friends have been providing me with this service, something can have a hook in me and all it takes is a friend to cut that energy with clarity and I am free. We all have our holes through which we get sucked in; we need each other to stay clear until we heal them.
A true reflection is an amazing service to our evolution, I agree with you. And true role models are worth their weight in gold – and then some.
By reading your blog Gabriele I felt it is normal to not drink. Yet we made it normal to drink. “What kind of life am I leading; what are my working days really like when I can’t wait to get this glass of wine into me?” It is about time we start to ask these questions, time for a new normal.
It is normal not to drink; why would anyone willingly pour poison into their mouth? The only thing is that the majority drink and keep telling us that their behaviour is normal by sheer virtue of their majority. But that doesn’t make it natural or intelligent.
The moment to quit drinking alcohol for me came when I realised that one of my dearest friends and I used the bottle of wine we pretended to enjoy when meeting as a measure to numb ourselves. We simply were afraid of deepening our relationship to the point of frankly speaking out the not so pleasant truths and to truly support each other. Since I said no to alcohol he has reduced his intake of alcohol drastically and we have deepend our friendship in the most beautiful way.
Great observation Michael – I noticed as well that we can use substances such as alcohol and especially cigarettes as a way to hide behind a virtual smoke screen or fog which then makes a deeper connection impossible.
I never drank much but yet I did. Looking back I can clearly say that I used alcohol to escape from what I did not want to see or feel and to numb myself. Yet at the same time – since my childhood – I have been afraid of people who were drunk as I could clearly feel that it was not them anymore. Universal Medicine has helped me to love myself so much, that I just cannot force a poison like alcohol into my body. Nowadays I enjoy it if something in me wants to feel challenged, as I know, that there must be a big potential to clear old stuff and heal nearby.
That sounds like you have learnt to acknowledge and work with the tension that is created when stuff comes up that needs to be dealt with – rather than pushing it back down by drowning it in alcohol.
Looking back it is unbelievable how often I did things in order to fit in, completely overriding that my body was shouting, “STOP”.
I have this too Michael, when I look back I cannot believe why I did not start to listen to my body earlier. It was definitely shouting for a long time already before I was willing to listen instead of feeling a victim to what my body signals were. Taking responsibility for my choices and not blaming my body, others or even life for what I feel has been a huge step in discarding which is not true. My body is very willing to tell me more everyday and every new day.
Same here Michael – this is really gross but once when I was with a friend and we were having a coffee, chatting and smoking cigarettes, I kept lighting a cigarette when she did then as I was driving home I threw up in my lap! totally ridiculous what I put my body through to enjoin another. I gave up smoking not long after this incident.
How much is there in life that we feel is not right but we do it anyway just because the majority of others around us are also doing it? I loved reading the part where you questioned your life Gabriele, if a repeated behaviour that doesn’t feel right is repeated then what is it about our lives that we believe needs to be addressed in this certain way?
Yes, it can be so seemingly easy to bow to peer pressure and do what others around us are doing – and all for a momentary and false sense of belonging.
Where does that pressure come from though? because at times that pressure can feel huge but at the same time not. I now don’t eat dairy but those around me do and I am not fussed. The ability to say no is a natural one – so where is the grade or appreciation of that ability in other areas of life? Do we pressure or expect ourselves more or less depending on the situation?
Once we are prepared to honestly observe what we are truly at and start working on the aspects of our life that do not truly support us, we will discover, that the compensations we thought we needed will just fade away.
Yes, the behaviours and compensations do start dropping away without the need for any other crutches.
Why do we often plan to reduce the amount of alcohol we consume and never really succeed. Could it be that we are on the wrong track. Could it be that we should be looking at why we consume alcohol in the first place?
That would certainly go a long way to truly healing the root cause of any addiction; if not, it is very easy to swap one addiction for another addiction, something ‘milder”, ‘less harmful’ and possibly more acceptable.
If we exchange one addiction for another, could we maybe even be doing more harm to us? Because the energy hasn’t changed, just the symptom is moved to a hidden layer where it causes less obvious harm, but still harms.
Good point, just by shifting from one addiction to another more acceptable and possibly less visible one doesn’t truly solve anything; it might just be even harder to trace and certainly more difficult to be honest about.
Why do we resist looking at what causes our addictions and instead swap from one addiction to another pretending to have healed?
A question came up for me from reading this blog, how many of us started choosing to drink alcohol to simply fit in? I tried drinking alcohol for this exact reason when I was a teenager but thankfully my body reacted very badly to it. However, I did consider overriding what my body was telling me because I wanted to be like everyone else. After a few experiences I came to my senses, I chose to listen to my body and not drink another drop of alcohol that was clearly poisonous to my body. I realised that my body is very precious and I was choosing to honour that by say ‘No’ to alcohol and to other harmful substances. I also realised that trying to fit in was very overrated because it stops us from being who we truly are.
I agree, trying to fit in is a real bane and it makes us do things that we don’t really feel to do and are against our better judgment – and for what? Once we fit in we need to keep keeping up with the next bit of fitting in and before we know it, we don’t know who we are and what we feel to be true or not anymore.
Very true Chan. We compromise ourselves, because of the need we have to fit it. We want to be loved and wanted but we think we can find that from others. However all the love we ever wanted is right there for us, but it’s looking inwards and connected to who we are that will bring all that we ever wanted and then we learn that it’s always been their.
Wow Gabriele. I love how you exposed the reasons why most people choose to drink alcohol. ‘So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid.’ Such an honest and inspiring sharing. Drinking alcohol never made sense to me too but what you’ve presented here makes total sense to me.
There was a reason why I was doing what I was doing and once I knew, it became so utterly non-sensical that I had to stop, it just didn’t make sense anymore. After all, once the effect of the drink or of whatever substance has worn off, the same problem is still there and nothing has changed – and who really wants to live like that, turning around in circles?
The simplicity here is just mindblowing. A very practical, honest, non-judge-mental approach.
Alcohol has become another one of those ‘normal’ things that people do and deem acceptable, despite the enormous damage it causes and the havoc it wreaks. Our definition of ‘normal’ is very rubbery and dubious and ‘normal’ now seems to mean that just about anything goes.
It is interesting, as I know so many people who can’t wait for ‘cocktail hour’ everyday and to drink to take the edge of their life. They would never question their daily need of alcohol as being a problem, especially since nearly every household is doing the same, they turn a blind eye to the fact they need to drink to forget their woes or to reward themselves in some way. Giving up alcohol for me was relatively easy as I didn’t really enjoy the taste and I didn’t like the seedy feeling of hangovers the next day – I find most people feel the same way as well when you ask them but continue the cycle anyway.
I also have felt so much better since giving up alcohol, not only would it take me so long to get over the hangovers alcohol would also magnify any problem that I did have.
I can really relate to the sense of anticipation and reward in having a couple of glasses of wine in the evening. I knew deep down that my relationship with alcohol was definitely suspect if I was regarding it in this way. I stopped when I was finally ready to admit the fact and to look at the associated reasons for using alcohol in the first place. Occasionally I miss the social side of it but my body is definitely grateful and my mind is clearer without the interference.
It was the sugar hit and the slightly anaesthetising effect that I most looked forward to – and then I used to get upset because I couldn’t think as clearly anymore and had to leave things for the next day, and the next, and the next. It really doesn’t work and had I stopped drinking, I might have realised much earlier that it was my life that wasn’t making sense.
That is a very powerful observation, the fact that one drink made you lose your heart connection with your friend and that we can’t stay in or come from our heart when we drink. I had never considered that before, but it makes complete sense, thank you.
Gabriele I love the simplicity and common sense of this article, it is so evident that the choice for any of us to choose to numb ourselves with food, alcohol, really any substance is just an indication of there being something deeper we need to look at. I can see making the commitment to go deeper and take true responsibility for the choices we make can be challenging but actually getting to the point of living a more true and authentic life feels so worth it.
Life being the problem and alcohol just the band-aid is a great revelation for some yet possibly too painful for others to consider and yet it remains a truth either way. When the former is lovingly addressed, the band-aid is no longer needed.
Well said, and so true. One can think it is easier to just close one’s eyes and pretend everything is alright, but eventually the dishonesty catches up with us and also, life is not that much fun living from inside all these band-aids and props.
Beautifully said Gabriele. You knew it all along, and the day you were ready to look at why you were so eager to get home and ‘unwind’, was the moment you were presented with the truth about the quality in which you were living. A real gold nugget.
Stimulants seem to cause far more harm than good – if we use them for a sense of release. Just like alcohol and smoking, if this is something we do as a result of feeling stressed, tired, over worked – then it is absolutely a ‘solution’ that does not even address the why we are feeling stressed, tired, overworked in the first place.
Yes, drinking doesn’t address anything really: the next morning, the same problems are still there. But it can take a long time to be honest enough to fess up to that.
The same problems and a sore head 🙂 And yet we can continue to override even this feeling. It shows we have become masters of ignoring our bodies to try and escape the tension – that is really only addressed by allowing love.
Feeding off drama, that must make us all pretty good actors. As I can be in a heated discussion and a part of me knows how to defuse the situation however I continue. Although there could be other reasons to why I choose to continue, it is also a flying high feeling that a part of me chooses.
“I started taking responsibility for how I was feeling during the day, paying attention to when I felt drained and questioning and gradually changing all those things that I had accepted as normal, but which were in fact depleting me to the point that I could hardly wait to get that numbing sugar hit in the evening.” This says it all Gabriele how many of us have needed that sugar hit to relieve us and to numb us to what is truly going on? Alcohol is a total cover up to the stuff we do not want to feel, which is fine if we want to remain stagnant and un-evolving, but there comes a time when like you we say no to the constant merry go round dance of avoidance and instead say yes to responsibility and true personal development and evolution.
Looking back I am still amazed how easy it was – but then it is also logical: once we know why we are doing something and look behind the facade, the old behaviours have no chance anymore.
It’s beautiful to share on this pivotal moment in your life when you had an awakening from within, the truth of which was more important to you than remaining the same and indulging in alcohol. I feel this was a moment where your truth led you. It’s very powerful to read this and share in your moment, thankyou Gabriele.
Great blog Gabriele. It was wonderful that you were able to identify your life as the problem and that alcohol was merely a ‘Band-Aid’, and once you did this your desire for alcohol ceased. Beautiful.
Not only beautiful, but super easy – a no-brainer really.
A great article Gabriele and so clearly exposed. “So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid”. When I looked at why I drank alcohol and chose to stop I realized that I had never really enjoyed it but just accepted that this was ‘normal’. I feel so much freer now that my ‘normal’ does not include alcohol.
Thanks Gabriele, for stating the truth. It is simple really once we decide to be honest with ourselves, taking responsibility for the truth and then dropping the behaviour that is blocking going deeper. More of what is within us ‘Shines’ as a result.
Exactly Gabriele challenging those things seen as normal, we get so used to things like coffee etc that we don’t even feel what it is doing to our bodies let alone question if it’s something our bodies want. So many poisons like alcohol, cigarettes and coffee are poisons to our bodies, but our mind and desire to fit in overrides that fact and our bodies pay the consequences.
You make a very valid point here – so many people are battling addictions of one kind or another and the emphasis is so often on what to replace it with that is less harmful and more constructive. In itself not a bad start at all, but it misses the point that we miss ourselves and that amazing connection first and foremost; and thus, anything else can’t be but a stopgap or a crutch in another guise, with all the shortcomings that follow.
Gabriele great blog thank you. I recall something similar for me there just came a point where it did not make sense. There was no missing alcohol simply a time when I started to enjoy life more and with that the drinking stopped. It turns on its head how many of the rehab facilities operate – perhaps if the focus on rehab was on the care, the relationships and on life itself then real transformations could happen for people.
Thank you Gabriele. So great that you were aware enough to know to stop. I loved the numbing effect of alcohol as I didn’t want to feel the truth and take responsibility for my actions. I had trouble accepting myself and where I was truly at. Once I stopped drinking 5 years ago I have been able to realise these things about myself which has helped me grow and evolve. Never possible if a drink is what I run to everyday.
Wow. Such a clear-cut simplicity and execution. It has shaken me. Thank you, Gabrielle.
Thankyou Gabriele. Alcohol just numbs what a person does not want to feel while at the same time gives them a sugar hit to artificially lift them and make them feel that little bit invincible and separated from how they have lived their day and all their days before then. We all know that what goes up must come down and the depressant effect of alcohol after that false sugar hit is severely underestimated by those who drink it.
This is truly a miracle as most people drink but find it hard to stop for more than a year or two, if even this long is possible.
What I realised reading this blog is it’s like everyone has their own choice of poisons that get them through the day.. what’s really going on with everyone in the world if they need things like coffee, alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, sugar, chocolate and fizzy drinks at least at some point in the day. I can live my whole days without any stimulating foods and I work very long hours and I work consistently through the day, I am committed and dedicated to what I am doing having a purpose from the moment I wake up to when I go to sleep. Universal Medicine is really having a great impact on me. It’s the livingness that allows me to do what I am doing, nothing else out there seems to be working the same. Other alternatives offer escape and distraction whereas Universal Medicine suggestions bringing attention, focus, detail into your life and it is so worth it!
It’s awesome to hear someone listening to the humbling light within, holding on to it and then letting go of what is taking us away from that connection.
Gabrielle great realization that something was wrong if you had to look forward to the drink at the end of the day. You are very smart to realize that the problem was not the drink but the way you lived your life. The alcohol was the bandage as you explained, you addressed how you were living. You are very truthful and honest to see clearly what was going on for you. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you, Concetta. I had actually never questioned it, even though I knew alcohol wasn’t good for me – as we all do, in all honesty. The question of what kind of life was I leading to need the alcohol actually came from attending Universal Medicine workshops and presentations; they opened my eyes and inspired me to explore and find out what is really going on under the thin veneer of ‘normal’.
Gabrielle what I found so powerful about this blog was how you allowed yourself to ask the question of what kind of life were you leading? And that you honoured this moment and felt the truth that was presented. For me you have highlighted the importance of questioning to understand, to stop and honour how you feel as the truth that is essentially always there is waiting to be uncovered.
Like you I drank to fit in and in time I gave up alcohol cigarettes and pot all in one evening. I reached a point in life where I new none of them where helping me but were actually making my life much harder as I was using them instead of choosing to look at how my life was. Once I stopped I was then able to deal with how my life was and make the changes that have given me a fuller life.
This is a great point Mick that I can relate to, not with alcohol or drugs but life in general. Over the years as my awareness has grown, it has become more and more apparent when something is making my life much harder than actually helping me. When this is recognised it is actually quite simple to stop for the benefits of doing so far outweigh the benefits of continuing in this way.
I cannot agree more with your assertion that not drinking is extremely easy and quite natural.
Your insight Gabriele pertinent for so many other of life’s activities…. “So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid”. Honesty is our best friend, Truth our eternal only one.
I love this sentence too, its such a great wisdom so simply expressed. Whats going on with my life that I need alcohol?? Alcohol is not normal!!!
Gabriele, the simplicity of the wisdom expressed here is very powerful: “What kind of life am I leading; what are my working days really like when I can’t wait to get this glass of wine into me?” You know how by law, cigarette packets must now come with strong written and visual warnings of the harmful effects of smoking…imagine if that line of yours was simply printed on the wine label, just as something offered to ponder on…no ghastly image, just a question… “What kind of life am I leading; what are my working days really like when I can’t wait to get this glass of wine into me?
Yes, I have always wondered about the ghastly images on cigarette packs – they don’t seem to deter anybody, because nobody really sets out to destroy themselves, in my experience. A question like “what kind of life am I leading…” would invite a more honest reflection about our lifestyle choices and their consequences.
This would be amazing to have labels like this on alcohol packaging as it would inspire people to question what they are choosing, to perhaps realise that alcohol is being used as a Band-Aid solution that could potentially lead to further health problems.
Gabriele you raise the bar with a great question asked here….“What kind of life am I leading; what are my working days really like when I can’t wait to get this glass of wine into me?”….so very exposing and indeed supportive for all of us who use substances to ‘self medicate’ them selves through this life, thank you
Thank you Gabrielle for your honest blog. I had the same experience with cigarettes many moons ago but alcohol proved to be a lot harder. Even though I didn’t like the after affects of alcohol I still needed that crutch to get through life. Through the presentations of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I came to understand how alcohol really affects our bodies and why we need it and from there the choice to give it up was made easy.
Thank you for the confirmation – once we understand in truth why we drink, it is really a no-brainer and giving up alcohol is a walk in the park.
‘So my life was the problem, and the alcohol just a Band-Aid’. Thank you Gabriele for sharing your experience which I can relate to with alcohol which I easily stopped drinking once I recognised how I was using it as a reward for getting through another day. I feel inspired to look at what other Band-Aids I am still using as crutches when I am not taking full responsibility for my choices throughout the day.
A lovely sharing on how, when Gabriele realised what was fuelling her need for alcohol, i.e. the type of life she was living, it was easy to break the habit. This philosophy could be applied to the many numbing addictions we choose in life. Thank you for your simple yet profound sharing, Gabriele .
Thank You Gabriele for your honest and simple story. I have to admit it was not that easy for me because I chose to lie. I lied about the fact that I was so exhausted and the thought of throwing out expensive champagne was not going to happen. Even though I knew it made sense to stop drinking I could not give up the champagne lifestyle with the lemonade money. I was in debt and living beyond my means and this wreckless behavior stopped once I addressed why I needed alcohol to take the edge off my miserable life.
Yes I have known that reckless behaviour myself Bina which is a very loose lifestyle to lead with absolutely no responsibility or regard for oneself and others.
Wow, super honest and very revealing of how stubborn that resistant and quite entrenched part of us can at times be when everything we feel and know show so clearly that we have backed the wrong horse.
Thank you Gabriele, very honest blog.
Thank you Gabriele. Your post reminded me of how I used to do the same. The bottle of wine on the go for a few days to numb out the happenings of the day and lull me into sleep! Goodness me when I think of it now “What kind of life was I leading?” I don’t remember the last drink I had as it seemed to just filter out as I noticed what I was doing (and missing out on by doing it) Funny how I also previously drank more so as to belong and not “miss out”, but now I dont drink at all so as not to miss anything out! Ironic indeed.
Ironic – and very logical at the same time. Where am I when I am under the influence of a mind altering drug? And how much am I missing out on really? What is really going on that I have decided to check out from?
That’s a great summary – drinking to fit in and not miss out as opposed to not drinking so we don’t numb ourselves and thus miss something that shouldn’t go unnoticed. That really turns the whole drinking culture on its head.
Thank you Gabriele and Beverly, me too, I remember a time in my early years when all I wanted to do was to grow up to be able to drink alcohol and join the big kids, then when I was drinking life was a haze of drug induced lets say the lost years. Now I feel I am committed to life in full and have much greater recall. My feeling is that I actually take in all of life and do ‘not miss out’ but I am embracing all of life, which I then share as a radiating vitality and reflection.
Thank you for this insightful post, Gabriele. I now have a better understanding of people’s using alcohol as a Band-Aid in their lives.
As a human race we are very resourceful with ‘Band-Aids’ be that; alcohol, coffee, drugs (both recreational and prescribed) sugar, biscuits, cheese/cream cakes, chocolate (in any shape or form) competitive sport, hobbies, missions… and I too have observed how we (myself included) often simply replace one with another from our ‘magic band-aid box’. Until such time that we dare to venture to the root cause of the problem when true healing can occur and we do not have a need to look for any external band-aids.
Well said, the true healing originates from within and is not dependent on anything external, but it can take a while to realise that.
Brilliant comment Draganabrown, this is so, so true. We will forever keep looking for external band-aid solutions when we are avoiding truly healing our hurts.
So true Gabriel, as I have in the past swap one addiction for another and was mistaken in believing I had made progress. And I have also found that by paying attention to what I do in the day has supported me to relinquish many harmful habits and begin to feel, for the first time in my life, truly well.
Hi Gabriele, your question,”were people just swapping one addiction for a lesser one and exchanging one prop for another?” is perhaps one for many of us to ponder on. I no longer smoke cigarettes, drink coffee or alcohol, but I still watch TV or go for a honey-hit when I’m tired, but I’m experimenting with that. I have observed that when I don’t eat honey at night, my dreams are much calmer, and I’m less racy when I wake up. We can all have fun playing with the science in our bodies.
Yes, we are a whole science lab and have it at our fingertips; it’s a lot of fun and leads to amazing discoveries; and it shows up a whole lot of nonsense and lies about what we are told is apparently ‘good’ for us.
Absolutely Gabriele and Carmel, I agree, the science of listening and feeling from our own body should be taught in schools, and in the home from a very young age.
Thank you Gabriele!
Coming to natural realisations and understandings about how your life is being lived and then making some changes based on these. Sounds like common sense to me.
Hi Gabriele, I had a same, same different experience with stopping drinking alcohol. I used to drink at least half a bottle of excellent wine from my amazing collection 6 days a week. I found myself very entertaining when I drank. Over time I started becoming more and more aware of the negative effects of drinking such as a bad taste in my mouth the morning after, a burning sensation in my stomach and a sort of heavy fogginess. One day about 8 years ago, I felt I don’t want to hurt my body like this anymore and I stopped drinking. I felt so much better, cleaner and clearer in my body that I have never drank alcohol or had the desire to since then.
Once we really feel what is going on and what the effects of alcohol truly are and have garnered enough appreciation of and love and respect for ourselves, there is no going back – you just stop and that is the end of it.
It sounds like once you saw why you were drinking alcohol there was no effort needed in the stopping of this activity, I actually found this to be true when I chose to stop smoking cigarettes. It sounds impossible but it was really this easy, once I had addressed why I was smoking….