by Tanya Curtis (Tan), DIRECTOR Behaviour Specialist, Counsellor & Facilitator, Assoc Dip Ed.(Child Care), BHlthSci.(BehMgt), MBehMgt, MCoun
Just over two years ago I was walking in one exhausted body. I was known as a coffee snob, drinking at least three double shot long black coffees each day, and celebrating making it through a long week with rewarding food, bottles of red wine and cigarettes. My hours were long, my drive to help people was insurmountable, and I created an immense pressure to have a successful business helping people in the only way I knew how to!
I had degrees in Health Sciences, Education, Behaviour Management and Counselling, and knew that what was on offer to people so far was not always supportive to them. I knew ‘my way’ was more supportive, but I could also see that I was missing a key ingredient. I could help people go from non-functional to functional, but once at functional there was still a sadness and emptiness beyond what I could help with… I couldn’t help because I felt it too! I was only helping people to a certain level, yet I knew there was more! I didn’t know what that was, so my ‘DRIVE’ to find it or create it was intensified!
My health was not great (surprisingly), with my childhood bouts of middle ear infections, skin conditions, bronchitis and asthma carrying into my adult life, and with the addition of high blood pressure, polycystic ovary syndrome, being overweight, constant sweating… and much more.
I had many rules, expectations and ‘shoulds’ I imposed not only on myself, but all other people… and each person constantly let me down as my expectations were unrealistic! I felt alone! Each member of my family was trying to change each other to be who we wanted them to be, no-one enjoying anyone for who they were, and all with a huge amount of sadness. We all had a strong picture of what ‘family’ should be, and that picture was NOT being met by anyone. Each of our pictures was different… or we joined ‘sides’ with those who had a similar picture. Our family was at war!
I had grown up exposed to many different belief systems; my grandmother an avid Sai Baba follower, my stepmother and her family devout Catholics, my neighbours Jehovah’s Witnesses, my father a self-proclaimed atheist, my stepfather a scientist, and my mother searching for anything, and trying lots, which led us at one stage to living in a Satyananda ashram with my head shaved and name changed.
Even as I child I could feel that none of these worked, as each person was still very sad, and I could feel the escapism in each of these choices. Known as the annoying “why?” person, I was the one who questioned everything said to me and saw a loophole in all that was presented, never believing anything but still not knowing how to fill this emptiness inside – knowing it had to come from me, but not having the recipe to do so! By the time I was an adult I believed in nothing, but felt the pressure and drive of “it’s all up to me”. Without the tools of knowing what this meant, I felt the overwhelm, and used my own society-accepted form of escape via using my ‘head’ to bury myself in the books, and run a business, and celebrating a long week or day by washing away the stressors with alcohol, food and at times, recreational drugs! It is hard to look back on that and know it was just over two years ago!
So in May 2010 this exhausted body, having given up on there being ‘anything more’, feeling lonely, lost and sad, with hairy eyebrows and an hour to spare, was walking along the verandah passing my local beautician. I ducked my head in, asking if they had time for an eyebrow wax, which they did. As I lay on the table I could feel the relief of resting my body for the brief ten minutes I gave it permission to rest, as I had my vision cleared as my overgrown eyebrow hairs were removed. During my appointment my beautician mentioned to me that there was an ‘esoteric practitioner’ doing free sample treatments in the room next door if I would like to have a treatment. Without discerning what that meant (I’d never heard the word esoteric before), all I heard was “opportunity to lie down for a bit longer”, and I jumped at the offer.
As soon as Monika Korb did a facial release my life was changed. I felt something real, and could feel a sense of relief and release never felt before! It took me a good month to allow the time to book myself in for a second session, but once I did there has been no turning back. Over time, Monika shared with me some presentations from Esoteric Medicine, and by August 2010 I was cautiously attending my first Universal Medicine course… Heart Chakra 2. Before long I was attending appointments at Universal Medicine in both Goonellabah and Brisbane, and there has not been many courses I have missed in between! Thank you hairy eyebrows!
Just recently attending that same course two years on, I have reflected back on how much has changed! The person I describe in the first paragraph feels but a distant memory, like a movie I watched on someone else’s life! Physically my health is the best it has ever been; my relationship with work, my colleagues, my family, people in general and myself is one that now feels great. That empty, lost, lonely, sad feeling has all but gone! There no longer is a ‘need’, and people are now enjoyed for ‘who they are’, not exposed for ‘what expectation they are not meeting’. I now enjoy waking up each morning, I enjoy going to bed with me each night, and I enjoy all that is between each day and each night! The feeling of helplessness has been replaced with a true meaning of responsibility, and the freedom that has come with releasing my rules and expectations feels amazing. Thanks to the Universal Medicine team I have found my recipe and all the ingredients required to begin replacing that feeling of emptiness with a feeling of completeness. My livingness comes first, and with that brings about other changes. The word ‘developing’ has been, and still is, super-crucial. My livingness is a ‘development’ that will continue to unfold, and as I celebrate the changes the last two years have brought, I only look forward to what the next two and beyond can bring!
What I have learnt from Universal Medicine (and surprisingly, for the first time in my life I am not constantly questioning what is presented, as it ‘just makes sense’), and from Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon family and the Universal Medicine team, has been life changing for me, and in-fact life changing for those I have reflected my changes to! This I will be eternally grateful for! Thank you!
P.S. Thank you to my hairy eyebrows for leading me to this path of living a life of responsibility… each stray hair protruding from my eyebrows is a gentle reminder of “what has been and what is to become”.