by Tanya Curtis (Tan), DIRECTOR Behaviour Specialist, Counsellor & Facilitator, Assoc Dip Ed.(Child Care), BHlthSci.(BehMgt), MBehMgt, MCoun
Just over two years ago I was walking in one exhausted body. I was known as a coffee snob, drinking at least three double shot long black coffees each day, and celebrating making it through a long week with rewarding food, bottles of red wine and cigarettes. My hours were long, my drive to help people was insurmountable, and I created an immense pressure to have a successful business helping people in the only way I knew how to!
I had degrees in Health Sciences, Education, Behaviour Management and Counselling, and knew that what was on offer to people so far was not always supportive to them. I knew ‘my way’ was more supportive, but I could also see that I was missing a key ingredient. I could help people go from non-functional to functional, but once at functional there was still a sadness and emptiness beyond what I could help with… I couldn’t help because I felt it too! I was only helping people to a certain level, yet I knew there was more! I didn’t know what that was, so my ‘DRIVE’ to find it or create it was intensified!
My health was not great (surprisingly), with my childhood bouts of middle ear infections, skin conditions, bronchitis and asthma carrying into my adult life, and with the addition of high blood pressure, polycystic ovary syndrome, being overweight, constant sweating… and much more.
I had many rules, expectations and ‘shoulds’ I imposed not only on myself, but all other people… and each person constantly let me down as my expectations were unrealistic! I felt alone! Each member of my family was trying to change each other to be who we wanted them to be, no-one enjoying anyone for who they were, and all with a huge amount of sadness. We all had a strong picture of what ‘family’ should be, and that picture was NOT being met by anyone. Each of our pictures was different… or we joined ‘sides’ with those who had a similar picture. Our family was at war!
I had grown up exposed to many different belief systems; my grandmother an avid Sai Baba follower, my stepmother and her family devout Catholics, my neighbours Jehovah’s Witnesses, my father a self-proclaimed atheist, my stepfather a scientist, and my mother searching for anything, and trying lots, which led us at one stage to living in a Satyananda ashram with my head shaved and name changed.
Even as I child I could feel that none of these worked, as each person was still very sad, and I could feel the escapism in each of these choices. Known as the annoying “why?” person, I was the one who questioned everything said to me and saw a loophole in all that was presented, never believing anything but still not knowing how to fill this emptiness inside – knowing it had to come from me, but not having the recipe to do so! By the time I was an adult I believed in nothing, but felt the pressure and drive of “it’s all up to me”. Without the tools of knowing what this meant, I felt the overwhelm, and used my own society-accepted form of escape via using my ‘head’ to bury myself in the books, and run a business, and celebrating a long week or day by washing away the stressors with alcohol, food and at times, recreational drugs! It is hard to look back on that and know it was just over two years ago!
So in May 2010 this exhausted body, having given up on there being ‘anything more’, feeling lonely, lost and sad, with hairy eyebrows and an hour to spare, was walking along the verandah passing my local beautician. I ducked my head in, asking if they had time for an eyebrow wax, which they did. As I lay on the table I could feel the relief of resting my body for the brief ten minutes I gave it permission to rest, as I had my vision cleared as my overgrown eyebrow hairs were removed. During my appointment my beautician mentioned to me that there was an ‘esoteric practitioner’ doing free sample treatments in the room next door if I would like to have a treatment. Without discerning what that meant (I’d never heard the word esoteric before), all I heard was “opportunity to lie down for a bit longer”, and I jumped at the offer.
As soon as Monika Korb did a facial release my life was changed. I felt something real, and could feel a sense of relief and release never felt before! It took me a good month to allow the time to book myself in for a second session, but once I did there has been no turning back. Over time, Monika shared with me some presentations from Esoteric Medicine, and by August 2010 I was cautiously attending my first Universal Medicine course… Heart Chakra 2. Before long I was attending appointments at Universal Medicine in both Goonellabah and Brisbane, and there has not been many courses I have missed in between! Thank you hairy eyebrows!
Just recently attending that same course two years on, I have reflected back on how much has changed! The person I describe in the first paragraph feels but a distant memory, like a movie I watched on someone else’s life! Physically my health is the best it has ever been; my relationship with work, my colleagues, my family, people in general and myself is one that now feels great. That empty, lost, lonely, sad feeling has all but gone! There no longer is a ‘need’, and people are now enjoyed for ‘who they are’, not exposed for ‘what expectation they are not meeting’. I now enjoy waking up each morning, I enjoy going to bed with me each night, and I enjoy all that is between each day and each night! The feeling of helplessness has been replaced with a true meaning of responsibility, and the freedom that has come with releasing my rules and expectations feels amazing. Thanks to the Universal Medicine team I have found my recipe and all the ingredients required to begin replacing that feeling of emptiness with a feeling of completeness. My livingness comes first, and with that brings about other changes. The word ‘developing’ has been, and still is, super-crucial. My livingness is a ‘development’ that will continue to unfold, and as I celebrate the changes the last two years have brought, I only look forward to what the next two and beyond can bring!
What I have learnt from Universal Medicine (and surprisingly, for the first time in my life I am not constantly questioning what is presented, as it ‘just makes sense’), and from Serge Benhayon, the Benhayon family and the Universal Medicine team, has been life changing for me, and in-fact life changing for those I have reflected my changes to! This I will be eternally grateful for! Thank you!
P.S. Thank you to my hairy eyebrows for leading me to this path of living a life of responsibility… each stray hair protruding from my eyebrows is a gentle reminder of “what has been and what is to become”.
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Caring and nurturing our body, whilst listening to and honouring its many messages is supportive of our well-being and health.
“Thanks to the Universal Medicine team I have found my recipe and all the ingredients required to begin replacing that feeling of emptiness with a feeling of completeness.” Knowing who you are offers the answer to so many ‘whys?’
The way of the Livingness has nothing to do with following rules. To me it is the most freeing and enjoyable experience I can give to myself, where I don’t impose, expect or try to fix anything in me, but allow and honour my impulse to be more the loving and tender woman I actually am.
Tanya it’s very precious to read how you allowed your body rest. This is a very significant moment in your development as once you rested, you could feel and listen what made sense to you and the next steps to make. Thanks for sharing so openly, your words feel very solid and real.
I loved this story of your journey Tanya. There is no coincidence on that day you said yes to an energetic facial release, and have been saying yes ever since to what you know to be true.
I resonated with your mother and no doubt many others who ‘searching for anything, trying lots of things’, thankfully shaving my head and changing my name wasn’t one of them. Why do we do that? Why do we go to everything out there when simply, we only need to find ourselves?
And to find ourselves is to have a person like Serge Benhayon (and it could easily be someone else), to present to us, it is within us all. When we accept this, then life is different, life is about being more responsible to everything we do. The question then is, do we want to live up to that?
Wow. In only 2 years, so much can change. From feeling sad and lonely to enjoying waking up each day, it’s amazing to feel how you have embraced Universal Medicine’s teachings and went for it. It really goes to show it’s all down to how much responsibility we are willing to take.
The changes are amazing in just two years, ‘ I now enjoy waking up each morning, I enjoy going to bed with me each night, and I enjoy all that is between each day and each night!’
I always enjoy the honesty and humour in your expression Tanya, thank you. You have made so many amazing changes, much to appreciate there, and it confirms the authenticity of what Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine offer, and how empowered people are (myself included) to change their lives with Universal Medicine’s support. It’s also deeply humbling to read about the different difficulties, life experiences, and health issues people have, yet it’s possible to heal from it all and live from love and joy again.
Who would have thought hairy eyebrows would be such a blessing. What is amazing is how the author was able to feel the change in the body and realise there was something worth looking into.
‘I now enjoy waking up each morning, I enjoy going to bed with me each night, and I enjoy all that is between each day and each night!’ This is something to deeply appreciate, the benefits of living in connection with ourselves are priceless.
Tanya after reading your experience I understand why you have today a succesful career as a Behaviour Specialist. The changes you’ve made in your life, your livingness brings you a solid foundation from which you can truly support others. It’s a joy to read about such an unfoldment, like the butterfly that finally opens up its wings and flies high. Very inspiring.
I am sure many people used to function in this way, how great that we chose to let go of old harmful behaviours, ‘I had many rules, expectations and ‘shoulds’ I imposed not only on myself, but all other people… and each person constantly let me down as my expectations were unrealistic!’
Yes, to look back at how I was living before I met Universal Medicine and the lifestyle choices I have made since is looking at a different world.
So many people have made amazing changes to their way of living, ‘There no longer is a ‘need’, and people are now enjoyed for ‘who they are’, not exposed for ‘what expectation they are not meeting’. ‘
Tanya I adore your honesty about your family
“Each member of my family was trying to change each other to be who we wanted them to be, no-one enjoying anyone for who they were, and all with a huge amount of sadness. We all had a strong picture of what ‘family’ should be, and that picture was NOT being met by anyone. Each of our pictures was different… or we joined ‘sides’ with those who had a similar picture. Our family was at war!”
I so remember this as a child I would go round the family trying to get them to stop fighting each other, but as the youngest it was an impossible task. We can look back now and laugh but at the time it was not funny, there would be eggs flying across the kitchen as one sister would be battling out with another. The fights were dreadful everyone was out of control. However that was not what we showed to the world. To the world we put up a front and pretended everything was fine and dandy. And isn’t this what a majority of us do today? pretend everything is fine when actually we are falling apart at the seams.
Tanya, I spent 25 years in psychotherapy and looking back I went from non-functional to functional and back to non-functional. As experienced as the psychotherapist was and they were at the top of their field they were unable to support me back to ‘true’ health. I am back to full health now and enjoy life without a hint of mental illness or depression all that is not in my body any more. I can honestly say this is all thanks to the dedicated support of Serge Benhayon and the practitioners of Universal Medicine, I dread to think where I would be at this stage in my life if it wasn’t for Serge Benhayon and the team.
Great to hear that you are now back to full health, family life is really challenging for many people in the world, ‘Each member of my family was trying to change each other to be who we wanted them to be, no-one enjoying anyone for who they were, and all with a huge amount of sadness.’
It feels a great difference between your life before and after Universal Medicine. From noise to the stillness of your inner-knowing, which was confirmed in the outside and thus there was no need of questioning anything.
The changes are remarkable in such a short space of time, ‘The person I describe in the first paragraph feels but a distant memory, like a movie I watched on someone else’s life!’
Beautiful when life constellates in a way that positions us exactly where we need to be and offered another way of being. ‘Stopping’ to get your eye brows plucked was the gateway to so much more.
When we are ready for true change the support is there.
How we are known by others sometimes reveal that we do not truly know us.
One of the key points in this blog is how we set ourselves up as practitioners and have an expectation that techniques alone will heal others and yet, we may not have healed that issue in ourselves. Having done a lot of hands-on healing and had numerous different types of modalities practised on me with the intention to be healed, I now know that we actually heal ourselves with the assistance of another and that others cannot do it for us.
We all really need to wake up to the fact that there is so much more to observe and learn about life than mere function and just surviving each day.
Standing back and observing ourselves and life can be very revealing.
There is no such thing as coincidence, just as you I knew I was onto something when I had my first session with an Esoteric practitioner, my whole body recognized the difference with all the other things I had tried and I changed from a tired and depressed person to a healthy, vital and beautiful woman.
I am also quite stunned to hear how many reflections of different religions you have had in your life with none of them easing or indeed filling that feeling of hopelessness. How many years do we spend searching outwards before we even consider we have it all inside?!
Yes, the difference between functional and non-functional is not enough – we deserve more and we should not settle for anything other than the Love we are from and made of.
Everything happens for a reason, sometimes the reason is evident within the first few seconds, milliseconds even, and sometimes it may take us months and years to really understand why.
Not needing to constantly ask why and expose the ridiculousness of the normality accepted while feeling settled in the body because of the truth felt is the most amazing coming home feeling ever. It brings the true security we know and begin the empowerment process of bringing this truth to our every day living.
It’s beautiful how our soul can help us along the way for true change if we are open to it.
Yes Matts, this is the message of this blog. The soul hears our call for help long before we heed its signals to stop functioning at our own expense. We often delay, until our face is against the wall before we finally get it.
The domino effect where one choice leads to another of a similar quality – amazing choices can lead to more amazing choices. But so too can it happen with less amazing choices leading to poorer and poorer choices. So it is for us to keep on track and appreciate every supportive choice.
Tanya the title of this blog cracks me up! And how beautiful to appreciate how certain events have led you to finding so much more in life than you ever expected, and still on-goingly unfolding for you.
Removing the intensity of life, without removing ourselves from life, finding settlement, is a path we can only be walk when we say yes and surrender to something we may not even have consciously looked for but feels true inside us.
It is amazing how when we make changes to be more loving with ourselves how everyone else around us benefit – love has that powerful affect!
I deeply appreciate and adore the immense changes you have made within yourself Tan. You a a completely different person today. A true living example of love and care and an immense inspiration to so many including myself.
It’s truly amazing to read about how your life has changed Tanya, so many of the Universal Medicine students have various difficulties in their history, from addictions and family trauma to health and emotional turmoil (and everything in between), and each of us has returned to a true way of living impulsed from our innermost heart and soul. This has meant huge changes to our health, mental and emotional wellbeing, work and family life, and relationships. Congratulations on your changes Tanya and your new soulful way of life!
when you know something makes sense there is no need to question it!
I too was this: ‘By the time I was an adult I believed in nothing, but felt the pressure and drive of “it’s all up to me”. but had no clue as to go about living. This is something I am still very much learning, but no longer do I feel unable to share what’s going on honestly with people or shut God out. I’m stepping off the train track, my own little mission to achieve the accolade of success all on my own – a mission to prove to the universe I can do it all myself thank you very much. Needless to say my individualistic efforts were fruitless and cost me dear in my mental and physical health. Being part of the flow of the universe is so effortless, nurturing and loving. Honestly appraising my little crusades helps me admit they are never worth it. I don’t have to prove myself to God for I am amazing as I am. fighting the flow is like a great swimmer swimming against the current, it’s tiring and gets you nowhere.
What is amazing to feel from Tanya’s blog is how our whole life can be transformed by making a simple choice ( as in feeling to take care of hairy eyebrows). Perhaps Tanya was offered the esoteric facial release which lead to her returning to her true self because she listened to what her body was telling her to do and not letting her head dictate what she should be doing.
The opportunity of re-connecting with ourselves is always around the corner in the most everyday situations.
Tanya I loved reading your blog, we are offered so many opportunities to reconnect with ourselves, yet often miss them because we are too busy playing our life out in our head, and when we do take up the opportunity our life can change dramatically.
I love reading stories about how people came to find Universal Medicine. Each story unique and magical, and whether it was the love at first sight or took a period of resistance, the fact that each person found it and chose it to be their own way is so very much worth celebrating and appreciating. I mean, what are the odds?
The more I connect to my innermost and develop the relationship to self the more I welcome Universal Medicine into my life. There is no question what is presented is the absolute truth and it resonates with every particle in my body. Universal Medicine is the consistent laying of the foundation with which I live my life. We are truly blessed to have Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine in our lives.
The responsibility of our own body, the vehicle we house and express through life with, is what sets us up to be able to live in a way that actually inspires and supports people to grow and connect more deeply to themselves. No doubt Tanya, your work and purpose has magnified with your continued awakening and lived responsibility with your body.
When we create pictures of how life should be and look based on our unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others we always unsurprisingly end up disappointed.
I would say that it is expected that in a world at odds with what most of us feel deep down is the way humanity could and should be living, we would keep having those feelings that all is not well and we keep sensing that even when things look rosy, underneath it all there is that sadness and that questioning about it all.
I have noticed that people tend to each have their own way of coping with this, numbing, distraction, adopting abusive ways, obsession about changing one aspect of life and some like I did for most of my life give up and withdraw.
It is a blessing when you come across Universal Medicine and find that things start to fall into place, and you see evidence that not only is everything your heart craved for is possible to actually live, but it is also our true and natural essence.
Such a delightful celebration of connecting back to ourselves by way of appreciating every moment in our life. Each precious moment offers an invitation back to who we are; it is up to us to feel this and to respond to what we feel.
Thank God for our ‘hairy eyebrows’ – I suspect many of us have been led to where we next need to go by many such serendipitous moments. In this case, let’s call it divine intervention with beauty benefits. In my case it was via a workplace. I was soon to leave there, but met the right person just in time. Mind you, it took me a few years to actually have my first Universal Medicine healing session, but the connection was made and the die cast.
I would have never thought that you were the kind of person you described in the first paragraph!
Tanya, I love your homour, your openness and your honesty in your writing! Bring some more blogs out please! And how beautiful to feel your appreciation for yourself, for the changes you have embraced but also the true support from the Esoteric modalities that was around for you when you were ready to make the changes.
I love your perception of the blog Henrietta, your comment is light and full of appreciation.
I love that you are able to look back and deeply appreciate the changes that you have made. Appreciation is one of the keys needed to keep evolving.
“Appreciation is one of the keys needed to keep evolving” I agree Elizabeth without appreciation we cannot celebrate the magic of the change. Sometimes we look back in wonder at how we’ve transformed the quality of our life by simply caring for and loving ourselves.
‘There is no longer a need…’ and in this relationships with others change. I could so relate to the sense of people trying to change each other. How awful it feels when we try to fix another…or someone tries to fix us. When we meet our own needs from within, we can allow others to be themselves and offer them the reflection of this inner connection. The deep innate essence that is equally within us all is a wonderful thing to know and ‘develop’ an ever deepening relationship with. My eyebrows have got a bit hairy too – I look forward to where they take me!
Tanya when I read the title of your blog I wondered what on earth was going to be shared here. But isn’t it true we all have our own version of ‘hairy eyebrow’ story to share that led us to Universal Medicine and the healing modalities……
If for years we are searching and left with that constant emptiness and sadness then we haven’t found what it is we are searching for – look again till one day it just might be that beautician or that student you are studying with or in my case I was being a client for a practising student studying another modality that led me to a Universal Medicine practitioner.
I love reading this blog again Tanya, you can feel your playfulness and lightness throughout and your gratitude for your hairy eyebrows leading you to greater truth.
Choosing to take responsibility for what we’re bringing to our relationships is the game changer. Until or unless we’re prepared to look at our own stuff, we perpetuate the same situations and scenarios again and again.
It is this repetitiveness that we one day stop to (1) be aware of, and then (2) to question, and from here it means we are finally ready to make a change.