by Tony Steenson, Age 35, Bricklayer, Coraki, Australia
Growing up, I was always a quiet child. In my early teens this continued; I was never loud or outspoken, and I didn’t really talk about how I felt to anyone. What I did though, was become really angry, so I started my relationship with heavy metal music… because listening to angry music seemed to have a calming effect on me when I was upset.
I was disgusted at the behaviour of a lot of my mates. They were rude, offensive and just didn’t seem to care about anything or anyone except themselves… yet I didn’t say anything to them because I didn’t want them to not like me or call me names or give me a hard time – I didn’t want to rock the boat.
This ‘no boat-rocking way of life’ caused me a lot of pain over the years as I experienced countless situations where something really needed to be said, but because of my uncertainty in what to say and my unwillingness to stand up I just moved on from the situation, ignoring what I felt.
Enter Universal Medicine.
From listening to presentations and doing a few workshops, I now have a greater understanding of myself, and of others. I know now that by me not speaking up and saying “that’s not ok”, I am actually allowing it to happen. That’s a big one that I’m sure we’re all guilty of, but one that I want to call from now on.
I have also realised there is a responsibility with the way I express myself; if I express in anger I get anger coming back to me.
The fear I once had of not fitting in isn’t really there anymore – I say what I feel a lot of the time now, and it feels great to get it out.
I am still learning and experimenting with this and sometimes it goes great and other times not so crash hot, but I learn from my mistakes and am willing to give it a go.