by Tony Steenson, Age 35, Bricklayer, Coraki, Australia

Growing up, I was always a quiet child. In my early teens this continued; I was never loud or outspoken, and I didn’t really talk about how I felt to anyone. What I did though, was become really angry, so I started my relationship with heavy metal music… because listening to angry music seemed to have a calming effect on me when I was upset.

I was disgusted at the behaviour of a lot of my mates. They were rude, offensive and just didn’t seem to care about anything or anyone except themselves… yet I didn’t say anything to them because I didn’t want them to not like me or call me names or give me a hard time – I didn’t want to rock the boat.

This ‘no boat-rocking way of life’ caused me a lot of pain over the years as I experienced countless situations where something really needed to be said, but because of my uncertainty in what to say and my unwillingness to stand up I just moved on from the situation, ignoring what I felt.

Enter Universal Medicine.

From listening to presentations and doing a few workshops, I now have a greater understanding of myself, and of others. I know now that by me not speaking up and saying “that’s not ok”, I am actually allowing it to happen. That’s a big one that I’m sure we’re all guilty of, but one that I want to call from now on.

I have also realised there is a responsibility with the way I express myself; if I express in anger I get anger coming back to me.

The fear I once had of not fitting in isn’t really there anymore – I say what I feel a lot of the time now, and it feels great to get it out.

I am still learning and experimenting with this and sometimes it goes great and other times not so crash hot, but I learn from my mistakes and am willing to give it a go.

495 thoughts on “SPEAKING UP

  1. Nothing like being responsible for our movements and choices… or better I would say: nothing like being aware of the responsibility we have in our movements and choices, as it is that choice of being aware, that takes us out from the drama to live in the full knowing that we are the electors of our world and the landscapes that surround us.

  2. Ditto!! Growing up I used to constantly have throat problems (tonsillitis) and a lot of the time had this feel like I had a massive lump in my throat that felt completely numb, that I could not speak or say what I wanted to but instead just had to listen to others and what they felt (which is cool … the listening to others part .. but not when you feel you yourself are unable to express the whole time). Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have taught me so much about expression. Expression on all levels, from speaking to moving and also supporting me in being able to write without worrying if it’s right or wrong’. I also have a far greater understanding of myself, more confidence with my expression (on all levels) and more confidence and joy being in and with my body. The awesome thing about this is there is no cap. It does not end but instead keeps forever flowing and forever deepening. I deeply appreciate all Universal Medicine and Serge have taught and continue to teach me.

  3. This fear of losing popularity and/or security when we speak up is what sustains the system that we all hate, the relationship that really is just an empty arrangement and has no richness.

  4. Tony it’s really great you are willing to give expressing how you feel a go. It’s good to remember, as you say, there will be times that we go well with how we express and others not so great, but it is an opportunity for learning. Your words about how angry you were when you held back how you felt got me pondering on the times I felt angry, and looking back at some of those situations what needed to be said on my part did not get said. It is interesting to ponder on the relationship between anger and stuffing down how we feel – at some point there has to be a volcano.

  5. Many of us do not want to ‘rock the boat’ of life turning a blind eye to what goes on in our society. Which if we stop to consider, is it possible this is why we are living in the mess we are in because no one has stood firm and said no that doesn’t feel right. We are continually dropping our standard of living and becoming more animalistic in our behaviours and I wonder just how low we will drop before we come to our senses.

    1. The thing is, we are all living in that same boat. Every time we allow something that’s not true it affects us all equally. We live in a sphere of energy and when we don’t rock the boat by not speaking up or assisting others we confirm or allow a leak, a gap for the untrue energy currently fuelling life to make a place for itself.

    2. Many of us were not allowed to express what we were feeling as children, or even to show that we were upset; we had to put on a brave face, or risk being in serious trouble!

  6. There in lies the magic – “and am willing to give it a go”. We hold back from so much, all of us do, from expressing who we are in this life, and that is when life becomes dull or we try and fill it up by making it exciting in other means. If we are prepared to ‘give it a go’ to the best of our ability by expressing what we feel and being more of ourselves, then that is when the magic happens.

  7. It’s quite ugly what happens to us when we suppress our expression. It can turn inwards on ourselves or out at other people. Either way we all feel the ill effects of the bottled-up expression.

  8. Tony, this is really helpful, thank you; ‘I am still learning and experimenting with this and sometimes it goes great and other times not so crash hot, but I learn from my mistakes and am willing to give it a go.’ I have also held back from expressing what I am feeling and am now starting to to express, it is helpful to read of your experience and to give it a go and learn from this.

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