by Anna Karam, Goonellabah, Australia
I am a 35 year old woman. I am also a loving wife, mother of three gorgeous children, owner of a successful small business (successful by definition here being a joy to work in) and casual check out operator at my local supermarket. I’m sorry, did I forget to mention here that I am also amazing! It’s true – I love my life, I love myself, my family (in this I include many) and I love people. But life for me hasn’t always been like this. In fact, up until a few years ago I had suffered from Bulimia Nervosa, a psychological disease which began in my early teens.
For those of you who don’t know, bulimia is medically defined as an eating disorder characterised by binge eating and purging, or consuming a large amount of food in a short amount of time followed by an attempt to rid oneself of the food consumed (purging), typically by vomiting, taking a laxative or diuretic, and/or excessive exercise. But for me this definition doesn’t give a true understanding of the absolute physical and mental torture and self abuse that make up this disease.
In my experience bulimia has always been one of those ills that people don’t really want to speak of. Not unless it is happening with themselves or someone close to them. It is one of those taboo subjects you simply don’t touch! It even has medical professionals baffled. I feel this has contributed to why so many young men and women (including myself) are able to hide this disease so easily from the outside world, whilst secretly living behind closed doors with so much pain and torment.
For me bulimia looked like this. I would wake in the morning and the first thing I would think about was food, how much was I going to eat today, how much exercise would I need to do to counter this, and would I find myself binging and having to take a trip to the toilet to bring up all the food I had so fervently shoved down in an attempt to numb myself out or sabotage when I was actually feeling good. The latter would happen more often than not. I would then go to bed feeling ashamed, my body hurt, and my mind was already in the torment of what tomorrow would bring.
At times when I was living with others I would find this difficult, to hide the binging, the empty wrappers, the cereal boxes that went down so quickly, the ice-cream that never lasted. I figured out which foods were easier to bring up so as to be not so hard on my throat, cause swelling around the glands in my neck, or dilate my pupils, whatever was needed to not get found out, it was all highly orchestrated. Learning how to bring food up quietly became an art. Aside from all the physical damage, there was the constant shame and guilt that was inescapable, and deeper than this was the enormous sadness in the knowing that it was I who was doing this to myself. This disease was nothing short of a prison. A self imposed isolation that at its very core was an inability for me to accept the world as it is, and to accept me in all my light, my truth, my glory and to not be afraid to show this.
When I was 31, I was introduced to Universal Medicine. I listened to Serge Benhayon speak about self love, honesty, responsibility, and choices. Each of these words resonated so deeply with me, and so I made the choice to explore this for myself. I also started attending presentations on Women’s Health by Natalie Benhayon which inspired me in so many ways to connect more deeply with myself as a woman first and foremost.
I feel it is important to say here that I didn’t start attending these presentations and making different choices in an attempt to heal the bulimia. This was something I had long given up to be even possible for me after having previously sought out pretty much every modality on offer from East to West. I started making these choices and changing how I was with myself because everything I was hearing simply made sense. Why wasn’t I tender with myself? Why didn’t I listen to and honour the feelings I had? What was it about me that chose to abuse myself or to allow abuse from another?
What was presented to me was that change had to start within ourselves, that we cannot wait for others or expect others to make the changes, but that this needs to come from every individual in their own time and at their own pace. I never once felt judged or pushed to hurry up and get it right. In fact Serge Benhayon was the first practitioner to know about my condition before I even opened my mouth to share it, and in this there was already a healing for me and an opportunity to be more open and honest with myself.
What happened from here is nothing short of amazing. Through simply choosing to be more in tune with my body, to tend to myself with a greater level of care and love, and to take more responsibility for my choices, I have turned my whole life around. At first (and considering the pattern I was in) I found this difficult: it was new for me to love myself, and something I had always felt I couldn’t express to others. I had long associated self-love with selfishness, vanity, or being ‘up yourself ‘as my school friends used to say. And yet gradually this started to change, and it became more easy. In fact I discovered that it is actually very natural to love and care for me. From the way I choose to brush my hair, wash myself, in how to dress, the foods I choose and how I prepare them, the way I walk, how I hold my body, it is there in everything – the opportunity to conduct myself gently and lovingly and to appreciate who I truly am.
Without even trying, one day I woke up and the bulimia was no longer a part of my life. It had stopped. I had stopped. And if anyone was there throughout that period they would not believe seeing where I am today. I have come to see myself for the precious woman that I am, and my life is becoming truly amazing from this.
What have I learnt from all this? I have learnt how important it is to self love, to honour my feelings, to listen to my body, to hold myself in the deepest regard, and from here consider all others in that same light. I have learnt how important it is to accept things as they are, but that this acceptance doesn’t mean giving up on oneself, or on people. I have learnt to trust in myself, and from here I am beginning to trust once again in others. And with the support of my incredible husband, I have learnt to make light of situations, to have fun and not take things so seriously as I had always done.
Yes, I have healed bulimia, and it has been through my own choices, but I could not have done this without the enormous love and support of Universal Medicine and the presentations delivered by Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon that have been nothing short of amazing, and continue to inspire me each time I attend. I have turned around an existence that saw me struggling from day to day, to living a life that is truly joy-full – in my home, my work, and my body. And the beauty is that I can feel there is so much more. I am discovering that there is simply no end to where self love can take us. It’s only the beginning and what a truly powerful beginning for me it has been. Endless thanks to Universal Medicine for how it has supported me to truly change my life, and for the countless others I have witnessed do the same.
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
“Through simply choosing to be more in tune with my body, to tend to myself with a greater level of care and love, and to take more responsibility for my choices, I have turned my whole life around.” – This is something to really value and appreciate and I feel is a key part that is often missing in conventional medicine – the responsibility that we take ourselves, for how we live our everyday life and not just seeking a cure for something in the form of a pill or intervention (which may well be needed as well, just not in isolation from developing our way of living too).
How healing to open up the conversation and talk about it. It seems Bulimia is one of those things that people have shame in talking about and then it stays hidden harder to heal in full.
This is really amazing and something that definitely needed to be shared for others to read and support them where needed.
” I am today. I have come to see myself for the precious woman that I am, ”
How beautiful is this statement , and how wonderful for all you are living this truth.
What is so inspiring about your honest account Anna, is how you focused on confirming and living who you truly are as a tender and loving woman, allowing the bulimia to drop away.
A true way to heal – if we focus on the problem or issue we can often only get dragged further into it or go around in circles with it.
What I can feel is how this lack of self-love gets so deeply ingrained in our patterns of thinking and behaviours, and how self-abuse gets enacted differently from one person to the next and if we become problem-focused it would be very hard to understand what is truly going on, let alone find the true answer.
Late teenage years and in my early twenties I was bulimic and now twenty seven years on I am beginning to understand the reason I put my body through it. What I am sensing and more so accepting today has always been there. I know lies in every cell in my body, but what is revealing is that I am learning to accept the world as it is by learning to accept and love me in the world. I am learning to accept my light and express truth in many ways and boy does this feel good! The more I acknowledge and live my light, the more I expand making my every movement in relationship with food love.
“Through simply choosing to be more in tune with my body, to tend to myself with a greater level of care and love, and to take more responsibility for my choices, I have turned my whole life around.” – Thank you Anna, what you share here is gold, it may be challenging at times to change our ways but rather than just focusing on stopping the errant behaviours or patterns, if we bring our focus to building more connection with ourselves and our body and the way we love and care for ourselves and others, then big changes can happen.
It is amazing what can fall away from us when we embrace the call to be more self-loving…and to be the love that we are. It has certainly been the case for me.
Bulimia sounds like an extreme version of the eating patterns I and I suspect many of us have. We spend a lot of time thinking about the next coffee, treat from the café, meal or dinner out. As women, we then think about how fat we are going to get and go into a pattern of self-loathing that just feeds the eating. Actually allowing ourselves to have the feelings we have (how many of us were made to feel ashamed of this as kids?) is a vital part of stopping this sabotage and abuse.
My guess is that mild bulimia and mild eating disorders are very common. Mild or extreme, they are still not the truth of who we are.
This article helps me to understand what a devastating disease bulimia is. It also reminds me that there is nothing that we cannot heal from if we choose to.
‘… this was the enormous sadness in the knowing that it was I who was doing this to myself.’ — that’s the thing, we think other people can hurt us and damage our sense of self, but the ultimate damage is the fact that we choose to abuse and dismiss ourselves out of fear of being hurt by another.
Anna this is a great example of how when we commit to making more self loving choices, and learn to love ourselves first, we are able to let go of certain patterns that were once destructive and not self loving or supportive to ourselves.
Thankyou Anna, it’s quite an inspiring story that someone trapped within the cycle of Bulimia could make their way out, and not with complication, but through self care, self love, and treating oneself tenderly. It’s quite a celebration reading your story. I had quite a healing myself as I read realising that I don’t quite accept life and in that I don’t accept myself, now a new level of acceptance and self acceptance is there, thank you.
Yes, same here – I used to purge a lot between the age of 16-19. Like you said, many times it was to self-sabotage. Although I no longer purge, today I had a similar experience to what used to happen in the past. I overate, and while I was doing it I could really feel that I was doing it because I just wanted to sabotage my day. I had a brilliant day at work yesterday, however did not appreciate it so it resulted in a series of movements which lead me to drop very low and feel quite miserable. Although it has been quite a rough day, developing this understanding is just so beautiful, to know that everything affects us, giving us the opportunity to begin to make different choices.
The beautiful thing about what Universal Medicine is offering is that the teachings are universal as they are about us taking loving responsibility and care of our self first and foremost and if applied to life, as you have Anna, love becomes our best medicine.
A beautiful testimonial of the healing power of true love – a love that comes from within.
I have known people close to me that have suffered in the prison that you describe in such great detail. I have been so close to this disease that although I have never suffered from it, I feel I understand it deeply and therefore really appreciate how you were willing to express it so openly. It is very hard to fully recover from this disease because it is so physiologically damaging; how beautiful it is to hear that through the support of Universal Medicine you were able to get back to who you really are.
This is a truly remarkable story. Love is the greatest medicine we can administer for ourselves.
An absolutely remarkable account Anna – thank-you for being so open about the bulimia and the torment of living with this, and then, the true miracle in what has changed for you.
Something deeply special is occurring here on too many occasions to mention, with such powerful transformations in occurring in the lives of so many students of Universal Medicine, and those who receive treatments in the Esoteric Modalities founded by Serge Benhayon. There are many who deserve to read this story, to know that one need never give up in life, that from reconnection to the essence of all that we are, much will indeed change and unfold for us.
Beautifully put Victoria, the feeling of reconnecting to our essence is the most amazing thing in this world.
Our unloving patterns can be our prisons and they can go round and around with dizzying repetition until we identify and arrest the root cause of their origin.
Very true, but we should never dig into it ourselves, think about it and obsess. When we do that, we are actually distancing ourselves from truth.
Anna, how you have turned your life around is amazing, this is very supportive and beautiful to read, ‘I have learnt how important it is to self love, to honour my feelings, to listen to my body, to hold myself in the deepest regard’, I am working on this at the moment, I have become aware lately that even though I am much more gentle and loving with myself than I used to be that I still not hold myself in the love and with the regard that I could, there are still many ways in which I do not fully value myself and all that I am, it is with deepening my self love and care that I am changing this.
This is a truly beautiful account of the immense healing power we hold inside of ourselves and which we only need to connect to. This is what Universal Medicine is all about that connection to our universality and the magical beings that we all are.
‘A self imposed isolation that at its very core was an inability for me to accept the world as it is, and to accept me in all my light, my truth, my glory and to not be afraid to show this.’ This feels the truth about bulimia. I appreciate your openness and honesty about this eating disorder, how you’ve turned around your life by making the choice to love yourself and your body. And as you say Anna, this is just the beginning. An amazing begin that is.
Hear, hear to this Anna Karam – what a wonderful account of the true power of self-love. Yes, I too grew up in ‘playgrounds’ that dissed self-love as being ‘up yourself’, the words spoken with pure disdain. Yet whilst there can be arrogance in selfishness, true self-love is a very healing and humble state of being – and in my opinion is right at the heart of what humanity needs to turn the tide on self-abuse, self-neglect, self-loathing and through this the abuse of others. Learning to love ourselves is the way to true healing – as you have so clearly demonstrated here.
Each time I read this Anna, I feel a deeper appreciation for what Serge Benhayon has brought back to our world. The amazing transformation you made is inspiring, not just because you healed bulimia, but because there was no direct intention to, yet you did.
It’s interesting to ask then how many psychological disorders may not exist if self care and self love become our daily foundation?
When we change how we view ourselves, make the effort to love ourselves, against the grain of what society tells us, then that is where true change occurs. There really is something powerful in matter of fact accepting ourselves as lovely and worth adoring, especially when you consider how much ill health stems from self loathing and an inability to accept ourselves as we are.
Very true Stephen, instead of seeing illness and mental health disorders as mysterious, we could very well start with the common sense approach of considering “how much ill health stems from self loathing and an inability to accept ourselves as we are”.
It is extraordinary how Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon has supported and inspired hundreds of people worldwide to bring true healing to any ill conditions in their bodies. Well done Anna for the steps you took to heal bulimia and reflect to others what is possible when we make loving choices and begin to deeply appreciate ourselves.
It’s beautiful to hear about the changes you have made and the ripple effect it has had on healing something that to many seems irreversible. When I started to read it felt as if one of the reasons for this condition is what you stated later on and that was the reluctance of embodying our light. It feels as if we eat because we know the body needs to be nurtured but then we feel we don’t deserve it or that we are not worth it. Through developing a love for oneself I guess this behaviour naturally transmutes into one where we are being more gentle and accepting with oneself. Thanks for sharing Anna.
What I love about your contribution is the disclosure of the psychological factors that underpin bulimia – there are so many misconceptions around that would have us believe it is about body image first and foremost. You make it quite clear that the condition has its roots in the desire to numb what we are feeling because what we are truly feeling can seem too overwhelming with nowhere to turn for support. Thank God for Universal Medicine!
Its kind of amazing when you read how someone has cured a life long illness so effortlessly. Its the sort of story that should be shared and great that you have put pen to paper Anna so that others can read how there is another way (and more importantly how gorgeous that way of living feels).
Learning to love and care for ourselves has such far-reaching effects. The fact that the bulimia just faded away is like a miracle. Applying self love, acceptance and appreciation can make such a massive difference to our lives, regardless of whether we have a medical condition. I wonder when our health services will wake up to this fact!
It is amazing the changes you have made Anna and how you have turned your life around. Thank you for honestly sharing how life was for you and how you have got to where you are today. It shows to me how fundamental the healing was in the changes you made to how you were living that the bulimia just seemed to go without a specific concerted effort against it.
This is a great testimony of how making simple choices to be loving with yourself can make such a huge difference to your behaviour and your life. It seems significant that the focus was not on the bulimia and the trap of being in that illness, and yet the illness just slipped away.
Some of the symptoms and behaviours you describe resemble those I had in the past. Because I managed to deal with it in a way I considered okay, and I knew others to handle it similarly, it never occurred to me that it might actually be an ill-ness or un-normal. In hindsight and with the greater understanding I have today of what is truly healthy, caring and loving, plus your description of bulimia, it is obvious how harming and probably ill my way of eating and need for purging once was. So I wonder, how was it possible that I didn´t even consider anything wrong with my behaviour at the time? 1. I didn´t know better, 2. it was considered normal by everyone around me, 3. Before Universal Medicine I had no sense of self-love and true care.
I love the honesty with which you have written Anna. It was beautiful to read and it is always healing to read of another experience when it is expressed without emotion and with the deepest honesty.
It is a pure joy to read the sharing of your self-love experience, it is deeply felt as it comes from your lived and embodied experience and thus is igniting the same energy in me. You are just the same inspiration to those around you like Serge and Natalie Benhayon have been to you. The ripples of love vibrating through society by people living it.
What an incredible journey you have been through, a never ending one I suppose, of discovering and appreciating yourself in ways you may have never imagined were possible when you were in the thick of Bulimia. It really is a miracle that something as debilitating and imprisoning as this disease can simply slip away due to the commitment to The Way of The Livingness.
Appreciating ourselves for our qualities and the choices that we make no matter how small they are, allows us to bring a new level of love and care for our bodies where there is no space for abuse only the acceptance of our own glory.
Thank you Anna for your blog. This line rings very true for me still now…”Why wasn’t I tender with myself? Why didn’t I listen to and honour the feelings I had? What was it about me that chose to abuse myself or to allow abuse from another?” I have never experienced bulimia, but I know overeating very well and continue to do this. I can feel from what you shared how deepening our self-love is the only way to treat ourselves out of this self-abuse and being so honest with everyone about what I am feeling. I can see that holding back really doesn’t serve anyone and is more than likely one of the greatest causes of illness and disease.
Acceptance of ourselves, others and the world around us is a huge issue for so many of us in today’s world. But when we start to make an ever deepening commitment to making self-loving choices that builds ourselves from within while simultaneously allowing ourselves to be inspired by others and the world around us we in turn become far more appreciative, understanding and accepting of ourselves, others and the world around us.
Being able to accept ourselves in full is such an unfolding throughout our lives. There is so many layers that can sometimes be streamlined and sometimes not. What you have shared here Anna is where they are not so streamlined at times, but then what amazingness can unfold and become streamlined when we learn again to self care, self nurture, self accept. Very beautiful.
You mention how Bulimia is connected to acceptance. I am discovering (still work in progress) a tremendous freedom in simply observing things and seeing them for what they are without needing, demanding or trying to make them different.
Beautiful advice Nicola, I too am discovering the same. We are on the same return path xo
The diseases are many but the treatment is one – LOVE. The power of love (and Truth which is the of the same essence) heals everything!
To free yourself from the bulimic prison you were in through embracing self-love and responsibility, is a truly extraordinary feat. It is clearly a deeply debilitating disease that many believe they will never overcome… so your article is profound… and a blessing for all that now know the healing that is possible with deep love and acceptance.
This is such an important sharing Anna – there are many young women and men out there with some form of eating disorders that often are based on a such a deep lack of self worth or a strong sense of self loathing, that we do need to open up the conversation, which is just the beginning of how we can support each other with such situations and choices. How you have turned things around is proof to so many that this can be done and done with grace, it is indeed a possibility and a beautiful one indeed. Thank you Anna.
So little of what heals us is actually used in our treatment of illness, disease and health issues, yet as has been presented beautifully simply by Universal Medicine, it is only when we are willing to honestly go to the root cause of ill health that we get to the answers and can actually heal the issues, this means we are never bound by any condition, which with something like bulimia, or two other examples: cutting or alcoholism becomes much more empowering.
‘we are never bound by any condition’. Very empowering words Stephen, thank you.
“I have learnt how important it is to accept things as they are, but that this acceptance doesn’t mean giving up on oneself, or on people.” That is true, acceptance does not mean giving up, it just means this is the way it is…for now.
Jeanette this is so true and I feel we do confuse the two. Acceptance Vs giving up. I see everyday how people struggle with acceptance of where they are in life, and they actually fight acceptance. Do we struggle to accept where we are because of the irresponsibility we have lived in denying to accept who we are, which we know to the core of our being? I know tI still struggle with this.
“Through simply choosing to be more in tune with my body, to tend to myself with a greater level of care and love, and to take more responsibility for my choices, I have turned my whole life around.” Universal Medicine has supported so many of us to do the same, through simple everyday loving choices.
‘I am discovering that there is simply no end to where self love can take us’ Beautiful words and inspiring us to be more self loving.
The world needs people whom we can deeply trust and seek support from. More so then this we need people who have had the courage to deal with their own hurts so they too can assist others.
Thank you Anna, your sharing on Bulimia is beautifully honest and open and your story will support many others who are facing similar challenges.
“This disease was nothing short of a prison. A self imposed isolation that at its very core was an inability for me to accept the world as it is, and to accept me in all my light, my truth, my glory and to not be afraid to show this.” Suffering from Bulimia is certainly a prison but the key to freedom is love. I get the feeling that those who suffer from this debilitating disease are so often those who know they are precious and divinely delicate but don’t know how to handle all the love that they know they are. Universal Medicine offers us all a simple way to live, celebrate and shine with all the love that we are.
Thank-you for sharing your story which has given me an understanding of bulimia and how it controlled your life Anna. The changes you have chosen to make through being more self-loving would be a wonderful inspiration for others with this disease to read. Through Universal Medicine so many of us have come to accept and appreciate that self-loving choices is key to living more responsible and joy-full lives
Wow what a transformational story Anna, for me I was really touched by your questions, ‘Why wasn’t I tender with myself? Why didn’t I listen to and honour the feelings I had? What was it about me that chose to abuse myself or to allow abuse from another?’ Questions I feel everyone in the world would benefit from asking.
” A self imposed isolation that at its very core was an inability for me to accept the world as it is, and to accept me in all my light, my truth, my glory and to not be afraid to show this.” You are a glorious role model Anna for the practice of self love and self nurturing. How absolutely amazing you must have felt to wake up that morning knowing and feeling your body say that there was no more bulimia for you – precious 🙂
I didn’t know about bulimia before I read your blog, Anna. It was very educational and inspiring in a way how your healing became side effect of simply listening to your body and making sensible loving choices. With deep appreciation of you.
This is very reassuring statement evamariafoertsch “Everything can be healed by the development of true self love. Absolutely everything.” True self love is the key to everything. Thank you.
“Even though I wasn’t physically hurting anyone, my energy, just in the reaction was” Thank you Anna it is amazing how we often think ‘self’ abuse is not harming anyone else only ourselves yet in truth any abusive behaviour we do to ourselves is hurting those around us.
This is so true Samantha yet it something very few of us care to admit to ourselves for then we would have to see our part in the creation of this messed up world we live in.
Thank you Katinka, it needs to be outed, the whole misery behind bulimia, as it is what I like to call a closed door illness. I feel we purposely make it that way to stay in the irresponsibility of it all. It’s convenient to hide with all that shame and guilt. It keeps us stuck in it and then we don’t have to step up and be responsible in our lives as truly loving beings.
Hi Anna, yes it is pretty amazing where self love and self care lead us to……full energetic integrity and responsibility. Any illness can be healed with clarity, understanding and responsibility, which is ultimately choosing to be love (in full) in all that we do.
Thanks Alexander, there is more to come. More responsibility to take, and more to be expressed and shared on this topic, but nonetheless it is beautiful to stop and appreciate that which we have already reached. How far we have come and the inspiration we offer others in our openness and livingness of this.
Dear Amelia, as my understanding of Bulimia deepens through my own experience of it, it becomes clearer to me that ultimately it comes back to responsibility. I see those words ‘noone should have to suffer the horrors of these disorders….’ and I absolutely agree, but I also feel in this that we are still a step away from the responsibility factor that is so needed here. In this, we stay in the victim mentality of us against the illness. Yet it is we who have created the ill!. FACT!
The more I understand what bulimia is about, which is simply an inability to accept and take responsibility for oneself and all that one is feeling, the more I feel we need to start speaking about this illness in a whole different light. In saying this, I understand there is a process here that takes time.
Thank you, Anna, by sharing your story you allow all of us to learn from it. And that is so needed with this condition that is experienced by so many and spoken about by so few and where the true support from (medical) practitioners has a long way to go.
This is very true Monika ‘experienced by so many, spoken about by so few, and where true support (and understanding) from the medical profession has a long way to go’. In saying this, I feel the medical profession are offering all they have to offer, with the greatest intention. It is simply our lack of understanding (collectively) and irresponsibility, that has allowed it to be this way. In truth, we all know where this illness comes from, yet, everyone is afraid to say it out of fear of being or appearing too harsh. The old saying ‘the truth hurts’ has relevance here, but it is not the truth that hurts us really, it is hearing the truth and knowing that everything comes back to individual responsibility and never are we a victim of anything. We are (and everything is) simply a result of our choices.
Ouch, you are so right, it is not the truth that hurts, but our reaction to it. It feels very painful to own up what we did to ourselves and others as a consequence of our choices.
I agree Monika, that it hurts to feel the choices we have made that have been harmful in some way to ourselves and others. Just yesterday I reacted to a situation that was out of my control, and in that reaction what I expressed was harmful to those involved. Even though I wasn’t physically hurting anyone, my energy, just in the reaction was. It was hurting me, and I felt the physical repercussions afterwards feeling tired and depleted for the rest of the day. This is enough for me to see that energy is indeed the driver of everything, and that our choice of energy always leaves an imprint.
Beautiful and amazing sharing Anna, to read how you have transformed your life, to live with such self honouring now and choosing self love over and above all else, is truly inspiring.
Thank you raegankcairney, when it comes to self love and love, I am a forever student. The learnings and new depths never cease.
Your transformation back to yourself is truly awe inspiring Anna – the whole world is graced by your sweetness, grace and strength. Thank you.
Thank you Leonne. Deeply felt, and yes, the sweetness and grace is palpable, of that I will own,
There is such an ease and such a flow in the way you express your experiences, the acceptance you have claimed for yourself is really tangible. I appreciate that you took the time to write all this down and express your gratitude towards Universal Medicine. Both you and Universal Medicine are worth being celebrated!
Thank you Anna I reread your blog today particularly your words “Through simply choosing to be more in tune with my body, to tend to myself with a greater level of care and love, and to take more responsibility for my choices, I have turned my whole life around.” It is amazing the power we hold within ourselves, when we connect to our innermost, through self love, and self care, it becomes a very natural way of living.
Thank you Sally, when we express from our innermost, we express purely from God. There is no greater reason to connect then this.
Amazing Anna. You are certainly an amazing, beautiful woman. We can accept the world but not give up on it. We can live loving lives inspiring others and dedicating ourselves to love. Love changes everything.
Hi Amanda, even when I wrote this blog (which was some years ago now) I was still working on my acceptance of the world (and myself) for all that it is/ (I am). I feel there are many layers to this process and I still have to work on my dedication and commitment every single day. The old pattern of giving up was so ingrained for me, that I have had to physically retrain myself to not allow all the little behaviours to set in that lead to that giving up feeling. These days (more and more), I am looking to get in and get my hands dirty.
Your story should be printed in medical journals as Im sure it would be a great example to others who suffer from Bulimia, a remarkable illustration of the power of self love.
Yes Joe, there is a plan soon to share on a wider scale. I feel lived experience truly is the greatest authority we have in this world. That which comes from the body of those who have lived it.
The amazing thing that stands out for me in your story Anna is that you did not focus on healing the bulimia. It healed as a result of choosing to deeply honour and care for yourself, to hold yourself dearly and tenderly. With all of our hurts and patterns of self abuse, this is the antidote.
I also liked the question you asked yourself ‘why didn’t I listen to my feelings?’
As in my experience, there is so much healing to be revealed in exploring this.
Thank you Emma, that is a great question, and one I still have to ask myself at times. These days I need that question less and less as I am listening to and honouring my feelings more and more, and this is certainly something to appreciate.
Dear Anna, I am feeling and seeing the power of appreciation in our return to ourselves. Each aspect that we are able to see clearly and release, allows us to live love more fully and the appreciation of this consolidates and expands this love.
I am feeling this too Emma, and although I still at times need to take myself to it (appreciation), the more I do, the more it is becoming a pattern in my life, just as self criticism had become a pattern before it. I merely see that I am now switching patterns.
Thank you Anna for your sharing. I am always amazed to read or hear these stories about any one has turned their health and lives around after attending Universal Medicine workshops. I have learnt that it doesn’t matter what the past has been anything can be healed and changes made with self care, self love and living with self responsibility.
Thanks Anna for sharing your experiences – you are such a testimony for what is possible, when you start to take responsibility for your own choices – very inspiring.
A true testament to the power of self love, honouring.
“Without even trying, one day I woke up and the bulimia was no longer a part of my life. It had stopped. I had stopped. ” This is beautiful Anna and something I can relate to very much. I never attended Universal Medicine presentations to fix my problems but because it made sense and I just knew inside this was the absolute truth. Then with caring more for myself and starting to love myself I also noticed some patterns I had been living with disappeared without even trying. This is amazing and a true testimony to the power of simply caring for and loving yourself. Thank you for sharing your story Anna.
A fascinating story, an incredible and inspiring self-healing, and such a blessing to read. The power of self-love and deeply regarding choices truly has no bounds.
Thank you Anna – I appreciate and love how you say that this development and care come from every individual in their own time and at their own pace. Your words help me to see there is no hard and fast rule to recover – just the universal law of love, that comes so naturally.
Thank you Anna for sharing the perpetual torment of suffering from bulimia. As you say, this is not something that is openly discussed and understood. Your article shows so clearly that it is the issue underlying the illness that has to be healed and that learning the true meaning of self-love, self-respect and honouring yourself for the beautiful person you naturally are allows an acceptance and appreciation that you no longer want to throw away.
Anna what has become apparent from reading your article and all of the other articles that I have read is that self love has the ability to change an incredible gamete of conditions. Conditions that I had always considered as only changeable through medical intervention such as dementia and bi polar have been pretty much reversed much in the same way as your bulimia simply by becoming self loving. How extraordinary !
Incredible Anna. One thing I have noted from my own experience and hearing about others is that the eating disorder is not the root problem but the outcome from a bad feeling. Heal and work through that and the eating disorder falls away. This is what I have got from your blog as well. It’s great and truly healing when a practitioner can see past the disorder and help what is actually going on.
I agree Emily, so often doctors and practitioners just see the disorder, and do not look past to what is going on behind it.
Thanks for sharing how debilitating bulimia is and how it takes control of your life. It was inspirational to read how you transformed your life through making choices that are self loving and honouring of your body.
From the moment I set foot into an event held by Universal Medicne I was amazed at the level of regard for everybody who also came to check out these presentations by Serge Benhayon. Following on from that first meeting, this regard and love has grown ten fold and will continue to do so.
Thank you Anna what you share about accepting things as they are and the ways you have become self-loving, this is for everyone. There are so many kinds of disordered eating behaviours that men and women alike have these days that could be explored in a similar way to how you have here with bulimia. Over eating and all the ways we engage to over eat must affect many people. We seem to think that if people are thin it is okay to over eat so for many the behaviour goes unchecked and we don’t stop enough to understand the impact of over eating. Likewise under eating behaviours (far from an Anorexia Nervosa diagnosis) and what this does to stimulate the nervous system was totally foreign to my awareness until Universal Medicine presented this.
“I have learnt how important it is to accept things as they are, but that this acceptance doesn’t mean giving up on oneself, or on people. I have learnt to trust in myself, and from here I am beginning to trust once again in others” This is really spectacular, so great to hear that. It is truly freeing to trust ourselves and trust others completely.
” I had long associated self-love with selfishness, vanity, or being ‘up yourself ‘as my school friends used to say” .. I am sure most can relate to this Anna. It definitely is not selfish to love yourself!
Thank you Anna for sharing so honestly about your release from the prison of bulimia. It is so inspirational to read how making simple (but not necessarily easy) choices to self care and accept yourself has transformed your life. Your story deserves to be widely shared to give hope to the many that are still suffering as well as their loved ones who no doubt often feel powerless to help.
Thank you very much for your sharing here, Anna. I wish I had known this when I used to know someone who was suffering from bulimia. Even though I was aware that was something not right, and she might say a few things weren’t, we never had an open conversation about this. As you say, there was a feeling that it was taboo, and I shied away from asking and used to feel useless as a friend. Your sharing has really helped me to understand this illness.
Its amazing how you have been able to heal the cause of such a devastating and complex disease as bulimia, a great sharing.
I agree and I love the questions you’ve raised here. Very thought provoking and inspiring. When we accept who we are and never shy away from sharing it with others, expressing the fullness of love, we essentially have nothing to loose but everything to gain.
Wow Anna, this is amazing and truly inspiring to read. I love your honesty and openness about your experience with Bulimia. It will inspire anyone who is also going through this horendous illness that there is another way to live and to heal. It is empowering to know by making loving choices we can change our life around. You are an amazing example of what a miracle it can be when we choose simple loving choices everyday. There is no magic wand or cure but consistency and commitment to living life full of love is the way.
Thankyou for sharing so honestly Anna. Your commitment to reconnecting back to honouring and caring for your own body and wellbeing clearly shows how powerful this reconnection can be and how much it can heal. Bulimia is a truly debilitating and crippling condition and for you to have escaped its prison is simply awesome and very inspiring for us all.
This is a condition that many people suffer with. It is so great you shared your story. It is strange that something that effects so many is talked about so little. I think how hidden it is helps strengthen the shame.
It truly is amazing how much simply building self love and gentleness into our daily routine changes our life. Really it is so obvious but not something that I considered before Universal Medicine.
Thank you for your sharing Anna. There is most likely not enough awareness around diseases like bulimia. It is incredibly debilitating and controls your life. To be able to see yourself out of the haze of the disease and find your way back to self love is a living miracle, and one to be celebrated and shared Anna, as there are many women (and men) who would benefit enormously from hearing you share your story.
Thank you for sharing your story Anna. It is so great to have healed from bulimia and tremendous the reflection on how the changes occurred. Through Self love and connection.
Thank you Anna for this very honest and open blog of such a serious condition. It is amazing how you have turned your life around since attending Universal Medicine workshops.
I particularly liked the part when you said ‘I listened to Serge Benhayon speak about self love, honesty, responsibility, and choices. Each of these words resonated so deeply with me, and so I made the choice to explore this for myself’. I felt compelled to read this over and over.
Thank you Anna for this amazing honest blog- it is lovely to feel how you ended the cycle of the bulimia for you.
Thanks Anna for a fantastic blog. I relate to your story in many ways. After suffering from Bulimia for many years myself I know how insidious it can be. As it’s so hidden it’s too easy to keep doing it or convincing yourself it’s somehow ok. I too never went to Universal Presentations to heal my Bulimia either, it simply stopped after I built a more loving relationship with myself and made more self loving choices. I now don’t even think about it, and that is truly a miracle. Thanks for being courageous enough to share your story Anna, it’s important for others to hear.
Thank you Anna, for this honest and inspiring blog. Bullimia affects both men and women alike and what you have shared about committing to self in the way one lives and the choices one makes is paramount in the healing process.
Anna, I feel this is such a lovely open, honest account of what you have been though and the unfoldment of the amazing woman that I see today.. it is a total honour to know you and to be learning from you also.
Thank you Anna for your awesome blog. What you have shared is so honest and inspiring. Bulimia is such a horrendous illness and to read about your journey is so heart warming and truly amazing.
Thank you Anna for sharing your experience with bulimia and it just goes to show how self love and looking at your patterns can heal things like bulimia without even trying. This blog will be very supportive to others who have eating disorders.
Wow what an amazing turnaround! Its hard to fathom how many young girls are facing Bulimia today! It’s amazing you were able to heal it with your self-loving choices and the support of Universal Medicine, Serge & Natalie Benhayon.
Anna thank you for sharing this inspirational change in your life and for shedding light on the imprisonment of bulimia. You are living proof that choosing self love and a deeper connection with self is indeed very powerful.
Thank you Kathryn, I agree that choosing self love and a deeper connection to oneself does indeed have the power to heal in so many ways. However from my experience, Bulimia presents a slightly different picture, one that is all about acceptance. For example, there are many ways in which I can practice self love and self care, BUT these can be very much an outer experience, and if I do not drop to a deeper level of self love, one that is based on a full acceptance of self and of life, then the disease can and will continue to sit on the outer, waiting to manifest any time there is a moment of weakness.
Bulimia is very much a disease of non-acceptance, and so requires a very deep level of self love – one that sees acceptance at its core. This for me has been where the true healing has and continues to take place.
Thank you Anna for sharing this it gives a great insight in how debilitating bulimia on a daily level is. When I read the part about how you started your day already thinking about food and how this continued throughout your day, basically your thoughts constantly revolving around food, what occurred to me is that many people might actually have a mild form of bulimia. I for myself have lived my entire life until not that long ago being occupied with what I can or can’t or shouldn’t eat and I know that for many women food is a big issue.
Hi Esther, yes I feel preoccupation with food is a huge issue for many. We can easily be controlling or hard on ourselves with food, but when we turn it around and look at it from a loving perspective, as in, by simply getting to know our bodies and what foods support us to feel more vital and well, then we simply follow this advice. Our body is far more in tune with us then any naturopath, nutritionist, doctor or the like. Not saying we do not need these people in our lives, for they play an important supportive role, only that in the end, it is our own body that tells us what is best.
Anna, thank you for sharing your story. I have a friend who has anorexia and it feels very empowering that you managed to overcome bulimia in getting truly honest with yourself.
I have the feeling the level of honesty and true self love, which you have chosen did one day not allow bulimia to be still there. It shows to me how being consistently self loving can transform and bring healing to one’s life.
Bulimia was not part of my life at all. Yet, reading the blog, a question came to me: could it be that food is representative of the life you are having and the binging of it is your body showing you that deep inside you, your being cannot really accept how you are living? So, it makes sense that changing your life, this need/pattern is no longer there.
Anna thank you for sharing your deeply honest story. I loved how the bulimia just stopped after choosing to make more loving choices for yourself. It’s so simple that I imagine many would find it difficult to believe it is possible but you are living proof of this!
Thank you for the reminder Sharon, I certainly am. It is so important that we claim the love we have returned to and the inspiration this then has to offers others.
Indeed. As you are able to clearly stand strong now in all your glory and not feel hidden within the “disease” you can only be an inspiration to many. We are often lead to believe that such “diseases” remain with us for ever, but you have shown that not only can they be stopped but also healed too.
Thank you for your deeply personal sharing about a disorder very few are comfortable to talk about. What an amazing journey you have made, leading you back to YOU. Beautiful, thank you.
‘but its just a lie’ so true Elodie. Thank you for this, absolute gold and made me smile from ear to ear.
Yes Estera, whilst my healing of this disease will be different to other women’s (or men’s), it can definitely serve to inspire. I love what Felix shared above about our healing coming from our own rhythm, and to this I would add, at our own pace. Inspiration from each other plays a key and pivotal role in this. The ability to allow inspiration from others, and a deep understanding towards self.
wow Felix, so beautifully said with such depth. Thank you.
Yes , the medical system does need to hear about this approach, because its very effective, and nothing else seemed to work.
I love how you have expanded on Anna’s comment and taken it further, into the truth- we have nothing to lose and everything to gain via self love, committing to ourselves is priceless.
I love how you explain that you did not need to ‘try’ to heal the bulimia, you just committed to loving you and the bulimia ended as a consequence. It shows how simple it is. I often feel overwhelmed when I am trying to change something big so this blog is a great reminder to bring every choice back to love.
Gorgeous Leonie, as I have gone deeper in my own healing, I have come to the awareness that the biggest thing in all this is acceptance. It feels for me to be the core of everything. I can have love for myself, I can care for myself, I can deeply nurture myself, but if I cannot accept myself, or life, or situations around me, I will still be challenged and seeking comfort in some way. Whilst I had the bulimia, ‘the food was a way to comfort, to numb, to abuse myself and my body so I didn’t have to feel what I simply couldn’t accept’.
With the illness no longer a part of my life, I have the opportunity to really work on acceptance. Of myself, of life and others, and all that occurs around me. So I have found that whilst self love is absolutely important and so foundational, the next step and that which will take us to love, is the acceptance.
Thank you Anna for this beautiful insight which I can really relate to. As I have chosen to be more self loving in my life I have still been challenged by my lack of acceptance of aspects of myself. This can then lead to me sabotaging myself in some way for example eating foods that are not truly supportive or going to bed too late which then impacts how I am the following day.
A very powerful blog as it shows how disease that medical science has a hard time dealing with, like bulimia, can be healed through a very different approach and by learning to have a loving relationship with oneself. Thank you for sharing Anna and making your story available to many others out there that are still looking for a way to deal with bulimia.
Thank you Anna for your sharing openly and shining the light on, a very common but well hidden disease. Also very inspirational in seeing where you are at these days, keep up your loving work and ways.
What a profound article, to turn your life around from a life of existence to truly joyful through loving yourself, waking up one day to the bulimia no longer part of your life. So powerful thank you.
Thank you Anna for your honest and inspiring article.