A Beautiful Story

I want to share something beautiful that happened to me.

It starts with me being persistently psychologically and emotionally abused and isolated from the rest of my family, by my brother, being terrorised throughout my youth until 14 years old when I came up with the ‘brilliant’ solution – not of standing up for myself – but by numbing myself with drugs. I couldn’t work out what was ‘wrong’ with me to attract such abuse, or how to behave to stop it. As I grew up I had to invent some basis of self to fit into the world, so my entire self-esteem proceeded to be based upon a tragic array of glamorous illusions of societal constructed prerequisites for beauty and success and subsequent acceptability.

I’ve spent the better part of 51 years trying to define who I am by what I look like and what I do… the problem is, I never could. I unconsciously manipulated every choice towards seeking recognition and being acceptable. I moulded myself according to standards that I didn’t agree with or believe in, that didn’t honour my inner truth, my natural expression, me as a person, or as a woman. The truth is that the constant search of ‘what to do with my life’ always felt empty, exhausting, demoralising and impossible to resolve. The way I looked could never fulfill the world’s ‘ideal’ of beautiful; therefore, by those markers I was never going to be an acceptable human being or woman, and as a result my self-loathing blossomed into an ever-present lack of confidence and slight depression.

This of course, and most sadly, is the way of the world that we live in: most people are bound by these illusions of glamour in some form or another to varying degrees, and most set about resolving them in ways that in truth only feed the illusions.

But I have come to know that it doesn’t have to be that way. That it’s actually the energetic quality of how I am and my presence that determines the quality of my life and relationships with others and myself. I am not what I do or what I look like, but I am so very much more. I realised that seeking external gratification is futile; that I needed to change how I felt about and treated myself, to stop being so hard on myself and start loving and honouring myself more. As I became more loving and tender with myself I grew more self-confident, then more able to accept my innate beauty.

Throughout my life I’ve looked in the mirror and seen all manner of reflections: from feeling ‘I can’t manage more than a fleeting glance’, to feeling ‘ugly’, to feeling ‘sexy’, to ‘that will do’, to being able to look myself in the eye and have a quick pep-talk, or to confirm I was doing ok that day as I could actually look myself in the eyes and nod hello. But the other day I miraculously saw a reflection I’ve never felt before – My Beauty. A beauty that transcended my physical attributes, any need to be different, any comparison, self-doubt or self-loathing. It was just suddenly there and it was amazing. I now know for absolutely sure what beautiful means; that I am beautiful, as are we all, that true beauty lives within me, that it always did and it now wants to shine.

It’s been the unwavering love, commitment and support of Serge Benhayon, Mirtha and other Universal Medicine practitioners over the past 13 years that’s helped me to begin to unravel the web of glamorous illusions in which I’d entangled myself; to stop beating myself up for not being good enough, to start accepting myself for who I am and stop giving power to the old ideals, beliefs and patterns that drove me to seek to define myself by what I do and what I look like. Although these things still strive to rule at times, nonetheless I am able to allow myself to come back to just being me more easily, and more often.

And that is a beautiful thing!

by Jeannette, Sydney, Australia

691 thoughts on “A Beautiful Story

  1. Early ‘brilliant’ decisions to cope with the tension we feel in and from the world stick with us and set us on a course that leads us further and further away from the truth of us. The tension relieving mechanism becomes our way to confirming ourselves. But what does it really confirm? What are we coming back to? It is not easy to become aware that the version of ourselves with less tension in the body is not really us. It is galaxies away from the true us.

  2. “I needed to change how I treated myself,” we all need to do this – this changes things for many without ever having to speak to or see them. You have no idea of the power we have simply walking in a supermarket in our full body. By that I mean full of our absolute knowing we are divine and not from here. And having fun with ourselves, listening to our bodies, not what anyone else tells us. We aren’t here to make things better, to simply reflect that’s all, as I am learning – let people feel true love and – we are all divine. So much joy can be had from doing the most simple and mundane things like going buying food, you have no idea how many lives you change. People clock there is something different and magical at play.

  3. This is indeed a truly beautiful thing to start appreciating and expressing the natural beauty that lies within us all. As I get older I’ve been inspired by all those women who are embracing and expressing their natural beauty, and no longer define myself by what I look like. Yes, this can still be present but there was a time I would have written myself off as not being young any more and so unworthy of relationships with others – yes! that’s how lost I was. I thought all interactions were based on physical attractiveness!!! It’s a joy to discover connections are made from our essence which is timeless.

  4. Jeannette what it seems to me you are saying is that we have been fed a lie and it is constantly fed to us like a drip by drip. To break free from the strangle the lies have on humanity will I feel take a lot of effort as first of all we have to admit that we are constantly fed lies in the first place. The world is set up in a way that we are encouraged to seek out side of ourselves for recognition and acceptance. This keeps our attention from looking inwards where everything is known to us. What a perfect set up! Until we all come back to the truth that everything is energy and all is because of energy we will continue to live in the illusion that we don’t even know we are living in!

  5. Images and pictures can be such a distraction from the glory that we truly are. Connecting to the inner joy and beauty we are is where we find our true home. A return to being…

  6. When we have low self-esteem we invite others to share this view of us and when we feel the power of our inner beauty then this is equally what others feel and can inspire them to reconnect to their own inner beauty.

  7. That is the way forward for us all. Even we have all a different story a different past… for us all iT is to reconnect back to the true essence we are and make steps to live ftom there again.

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