A Beautiful Story

I want to share something beautiful that happened to me.

It starts with me being persistently psychologically and emotionally abused and isolated from the rest of my family, by my brother, being terrorised throughout my youth until 14 years old when I came up with the ‘brilliant’ solution – not of standing up for myself – but by numbing myself with drugs. I couldn’t work out what was ‘wrong’ with me to attract such abuse, or how to behave to stop it. As I grew up I had to invent some basis of self to fit into the world, so my entire self-esteem proceeded to be based upon a tragic array of glamorous illusions of societal constructed prerequisites for beauty and success and subsequent acceptability.

I’ve spent the better part of 51 years trying to define who I am by what I look like and what I do… the problem is, I never could. I unconsciously manipulated every choice towards seeking recognition and being acceptable. I moulded myself according to standards that I didn’t agree with or believe in, that didn’t honour my inner truth, my natural expression, me as a person, or as a woman. The truth is that the constant search of ‘what to do with my life’ always felt empty, exhausting, demoralising and impossible to resolve. The way I looked could never fulfill the world’s ‘ideal’ of beautiful; therefore, by those markers I was never going to be an acceptable human being or woman, and as a result my self-loathing blossomed into an ever-present lack of confidence and slight depression.

This of course, and most sadly, is the way of the world that we live in: most people are bound by these illusions of glamour in some form or another to varying degrees, and most set about resolving them in ways that in truth only feed the illusions.

But I have come to know that it doesn’t have to be that way. That it’s actually the energetic quality of how I am and my presence that determines the quality of my life and relationships with others and myself. I am not what I do or what I look like, but I am so very much more. I realised that seeking external gratification is futile; that I needed to change how I felt about and treated myself, to stop being so hard on myself and start loving and honouring myself more. As I became more loving and tender with myself I grew more self-confident, then more able to accept my innate beauty.

Throughout my life I’ve looked in the mirror and seen all manner of reflections: from feeling ‘I can’t manage more than a fleeting glance’, to feeling ‘ugly’, to feeling ‘sexy’, to ‘that will do’, to being able to look myself in the eye and have a quick pep-talk, or to confirm I was doing ok that day as I could actually look myself in the eyes and nod hello. But the other day I miraculously saw a reflection I’ve never felt before – My Beauty. A beauty that transcended my physical attributes, any need to be different, any comparison, self-doubt or self-loathing. It was just suddenly there and it was amazing. I now know for absolutely sure what beautiful means; that I am beautiful, as are we all, that true beauty lives within me, that it always did and it now wants to shine.

It’s been the unwavering love, commitment and support of Serge Benhayon, Mirtha and other Universal Medicine practitioners over the past 13 years that’s helped me to begin to unravel the web of glamorous illusions in which I’d entangled myself; to stop beating myself up for not being good enough, to start accepting myself for who I am and stop giving power to the old ideals, beliefs and patterns that drove me to seek to define myself by what I do and what I look like. Although these things still strive to rule at times, nonetheless I am able to allow myself to come back to just being me more easily, and more often.

And that is a beautiful thing!

by Jeannette, Sydney, Australia

732 thoughts on “A Beautiful Story

  1. Early ‘brilliant’ decisions to cope with the tension we feel in and from the world stick with us and set us on a course that leads us further and further away from the truth of us. The tension relieving mechanism becomes our way to confirming ourselves. But what does it really confirm? What are we coming back to? It is not easy to become aware that the version of ourselves with less tension in the body is not really us. It is galaxies away from the true us.

  2. “I needed to change how I treated myself,” we all need to do this – this changes things for many without ever having to speak to or see them. You have no idea of the power we have simply walking in a supermarket in our full body. By that I mean full of our absolute knowing we are divine and not from here. And having fun with ourselves, listening to our bodies, not what anyone else tells us. We aren’t here to make things better, to simply reflect that’s all, as I am learning – let people feel true love and – we are all divine. So much joy can be had from doing the most simple and mundane things like going buying food, you have no idea how many lives you change. People clock there is something different and magical at play.

  3. This is indeed a truly beautiful thing to start appreciating and expressing the natural beauty that lies within us all. As I get older I’ve been inspired by all those women who are embracing and expressing their natural beauty, and no longer define myself by what I look like. Yes, this can still be present but there was a time I would have written myself off as not being young any more and so unworthy of relationships with others – yes! that’s how lost I was. I thought all interactions were based on physical attractiveness!!! It’s a joy to discover connections are made from our essence which is timeless.

  4. Jeannette what it seems to me you are saying is that we have been fed a lie and it is constantly fed to us like a drip by drip. To break free from the strangle the lies have on humanity will I feel take a lot of effort as first of all we have to admit that we are constantly fed lies in the first place. The world is set up in a way that we are encouraged to seek out side of ourselves for recognition and acceptance. This keeps our attention from looking inwards where everything is known to us. What a perfect set up! Until we all come back to the truth that everything is energy and all is because of energy we will continue to live in the illusion that we don’t even know we are living in!

  5. Images and pictures can be such a distraction from the glory that we truly are. Connecting to the inner joy and beauty we are is where we find our true home. A return to being…

  6. When we have low self-esteem we invite others to share this view of us and when we feel the power of our inner beauty then this is equally what others feel and can inspire them to reconnect to their own inner beauty.

  7. That is the way forward for us all. Even we have all a different story a different past… for us all iT is to reconnect back to the true essence we are and make steps to live ftom there again.

  8. True beauty pours from us but so often we do not appreciate or even see it. What a defining moment when we can claim that beauty for ourselves so thank you Jeanette for opening us up to this.

  9. This is no small feet, but a revelation and significant miracle – for a woman to come out of lack of self-worth and regain her inner knowing and beauty is going against the grain of societal norms.

  10. We are so gloriously beautiful beyond all our imaginings and yet we get bogged down in what is ‘not us’ . . . until we at last get a glimpse once again of the light that we are.

  11. ‘As I became more loving and tender with myself I grew more self-confident, then more able to accept my innate beauty.’ Spot on Jeannette, to embrace and honour the beauty we all have within stops any need to seek outside of yourself for any validation or approval.

  12. Trying to ‘fix’ our smashed pictures of inadequate beauty and the like with glamours of what we think beauty ought to be is the very definition of solution itself. True answers only come from within.

  13. Thank you for this Jeannette. It’s reminded me that there is more to look at in the mirror and ask myself do I truly look? And by this I mean standing there and getting a sense of what I feel is being presented. I’ve done this before and the results where amazing in that more often than not I love looking into my eyes, but something tells me to go back in and experiment further.

  14. I can relate to what Jeanette is saying with trying to define who I was with what I did and how I looked, and it does not matter if you are a brain surgeon or a housewife we can still identify ourselves in what ever role we take on. Being the best or being the worse, it makes no difference, as it is all part of the same game. Only when we get to the point where we accept ourselves and know that we are enough, do we feel settled within ourselves – it’s as if a huge weight is lifted off of our shoulders as the trying is no longer needed.

  15. If only we were taught about energetic quality when we are children and that was part of the school curriculum, what a huge difference this would make to the way we lived.

  16. Its a sad fact that so many get caught up in the illusion of glamour, at the expense of their own true beauty. But what you are showing us here Jeanette is that it is never too late to change this and that it just takes the inspiration of another along with a willingness to be open to a different choice.

  17. What a great blog highlighting the harm of images and beliefs that we can let rule us, true freedom is releasing ourselves from the pictures that have been imposed on us.

    1. Yes, who would have thought of this as a freedom?! Yet the value we place on the images we are fed and then trying to live to those images traps us in a perpetual cycle of low self-esteem.

  18. This is indeed a beautiful story and one that is very touching, particularly this line “I am not what I do or what I look like, but I am so very much more”. To be able to see the beauty and grace beyond what we do, and what we look like, is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves.

  19. True beauty no doubt is always there within us all and it is never going to go away. How much we see the beauty depends on how much we dwell and indulge in that which is not who we are. There is always evolution being offered to us therefore always something in our lives being shown to us offering more love but this cannot ever come in the way of the natural beauty that is constantly within only if we purposely forget and choose to align to that which is not true.

  20. It is very beautiful when we see past all the ideals and beliefs we have had around beauty and ourselves and just receive the reflection, as you did, of ourselves in all our glory. There is then no looking back and although we may falter and stumble at times we know true beauty and we know that is who we are.

  21. This really is a beautiful story, very inspiring and revelation – for a woman to come out of lack of self-worth and regain her inner knowing and beauty is going against the grain of societal norms.

  22. “I now know for absolutely sure what beautiful means; that I am beautiful, as are we all, that true beauty lives within me, that it always did and it now wants to shine.” . . . beautiful Jeanette and shine it does.! If only we all knew this to be our truth what a difference that would make to this world. No advertising could touch us! No improvement needed just a connection to the beauty that lies within is all that is required.

  23. It is amazing how society tries to sell us beauty from a picture, that it is something to obtain from outside ourselves, yet we are all beautiful from within, and the more we are able to connect to ourselves the more we feel that beauty for ourselves too.

  24. The moment where you meet yourself for the first time, look in the mirror and see yourself as more than the outside covering, is a ‘kapow’ moment. I am sure children have that knowing of the grandness they come from and reflect back to us naturally and hold on to it for as long as they can. They inspire me to peel back the layers to live that as a way of living.

  25. ‘I miraculously saw a reflection I’ve never felt before – My Beauty.’ This is truly gorgeous, a real celebration of your transformation and of the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

  26. Lack of self-worth and self-loathing blinds a woman in such a way that she cannot see herself truly, and she cannot see the beauty that is within her. When she takes those steps towards healing what has caused this low self-esteem there does come a time where she actually sees and feels herself for the first time. In all the innocence and pristineness that she naturally is as a woman she will then stand in awe of how beautiful she truly is. And that is a sight to behold and cherish – because once witnessed, seen and felt, it is with us forevermore.

  27. Through everything this is what I keep coming back to; “That it’s actually the energetic quality of how I am and my presence that determines the quality of my life and relationships with others and myself.” We may have to read this over and over again to unfold further what this means personally but the willing consistency of this awareness allows life to be viewed in a different way than is currently being projected. Who said we had no ‘control’ over life?

  28. “It’s actually the energetic quality of how I am and my presence that determines the quality of my life and relationships with others and myself. I am not what I do or what I look like, but I am so very much more.” So true Jeanette, when we commit to moving from our inner quality of being, the true beauty of who we naturally are within is able to shine out.

  29. ‘I am not what I do or what I look like, but I am so very much more.’ This is a beautiful realisation. Wouldn’t it be amazing if we could support all our teenagers to feel this, to their core , on a wider scale?

    1. I agree Rachel this is very much needed – and this is what The Girl to Woman initiative/festival is all about. Celebrating the gorgeousness of who young girls are, the preciousness and wisdom they naturally hold within, plus inviting families to come together to connect, confirm and support our girls to live and stay true to the powerhouses that are as they grow into women and engage with the world – http://www.girltowoman.com.au/

  30. When we connect and appreciate our innate quality and attributes of who we are, it allows us to renounce and dispel any imprints we hold within our bodies that once might have allowed abuse and denigration of those innate qualities and instead nurture, love and accept ourselves deeply for who we are.

  31. Wow I’ve never realised before just how often I say ‘that’ll do’ when I look at myself in the mirror. When I look and see something I ‘don’t like’, it’s not unusual for me to take 5 minutes to restyle my hair, add to my makeup and maybe put on some lipstick until I reach a point where it’s ‘acceptable’ to walk away again. Isn’t this crazy, how we treat ourselves and constantly expect of our appearance to be 100% perfection, whilst we almost never appreciate the beauty within…

  32. How is it possible that when we look in the mirror we get all kind of reflections depending how we are with ourselves, how we can completely write ourselves off (which never comes from the truth) or how we can allow ourselves to see our beauty, a beauty that is innate and true, which is always there when we make the choice to connect and truly appreciate the one who is looking back to us in the mirror.

  33. That look in the mirror tells us so much about how we are feeling about ourselves. To actually be able to stop and appreciate your beauty and know it is unrelated to your looks, size, clothes etc. is a miracle in current times, where we are so critical of ourselves and feeling we never measure up. So it seems there is a cure for the propaganda and unrealistic female role models we see in the media.

  34. ‘As I became more loving and tender with myself I grew more self-confident, then more able to accept my innate beauty.’ This seems such a simple process, especially when so many of us find it hard to look in the mirror without criticising what we see there. But the steps are simple, we can learn to touch things tenderly and feel the effect in our body, just for a start. Unpicking all the negative self talk is perhaps further down the line because it has become so normal a way of being we don’t realise we are doing it.

  35. Jeanette, this is really gorgeous to read; ‘I realised that seeking external gratification is futile; that I needed to change how I felt about and treated myself, to stop being so hard on myself and start loving and honouring myself more’, wow this is an amazing life lesson and one that will make a huge difference to our lives, this self love and self care will change everything – how we feel about and treat ourselves and how we feel about and treat all others.

  36. This is indeed a beautiful story Jeanette that many could and would relate to. I certainly can and it is the appreciation of the beauty that resides within that really grows it so that there is a consistency for us and everyone else to feel and be inspired by.

  37. Absolutely gorgeous Jeanette, and to see that spark of beauty in the instance, and not let in the thoughts to counteract this – well that will teach us something about what we put out is reflected back.

  38. How the different the adults of tomorrow would be if we raised the children of today to know that they are so much more than what they see reflected back to them in the mirror; that they have their own inner essence that is absolutely unique to them and this uniqueness has a place in this world as does everyone else’s, equally so. These children would grow into adulthood supported by a foundation built on the knowing of who they truly are having claimed this essence.

  39. The first day I saw my true beauty in the mirror, I melted, the grace and presence was palpable. Sine this day, so much can be seen in the mirror, I can see if I am “trying” or “critiquing”, but what is eternal under any way of living I choose is my beauty. The moment I connect with that again, I see my beauty again in the mirror.

  40. The choice to re-connect to one’s own beauty and preciousness is indeed a blessing for all and so empowering for the individual.

  41. Jeanette, this is gorgeous and confirming to read; ‘I am beautiful, as are we all, that true beauty lives within me, that it always did and it now wants to shine.’ This feels key to me, that true beauty always did live within, it seems that we can be unaware of this in life and miss out on just how beautiful and amazing we actually, naturally are.

  42. “But the other day I miraculously saw a reflection I’ve never felt before – My Beauty. A beauty that transcended my physical attributes, any need to be different, any comparison, self-doubt or self-loathing.” Now this is something to be truly celebrated!

  43. It is a beautiful story, because you could have easily carried on with the same thoughts and ways of living until your last days. But you clearly always knew there was more, and it wasn’t until you were truly ready to heal did another way present itself. That’s super cool.

  44. What an amazing turn around Jeanette, to now live guided by a loving relationship with yourself, and to know that who you are is defined by the love you innately are in essence.

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