Trust and Appreciation

For the past 4 plus years I have been attending Universal Medicine courses, presentations and workshops, followed by my first retreat at Lennox Heads in 2015. Every single experience has been absolutely amazing. Each time I come away feeling clarity, love, purpose and truth, and feeling deeply supported.

Prior to Universal Medicine I was coping with life, not fully living in joy or in harmony with my body or my family. I had dealt with sexual, physical, verbal and mental abuse throughout my childhood. Reflecting back, I realised that the people I loved dearly have been the ones who attacked me the most.

What really hurt deep was not what was physically done to me but seeing clearly that the people who chose to abuse me were simply very hurt and choosing to vent it out on others. The sadness for me was seeing that they chose to suppress love in order to attack and defend.

I too then chose to reduce my immense love and joy as a form of protection so I didn’t have to feel the pain. I simply didn’t feel safe to be shining with joy and love, so I deliberately chose to tone it down. From about 7 years old I decided that this was the safest way to function through life – to not be too joyful in case I get attacked. This was my false sense of security and investment to make life about keeping me safe.

My deliberate choice to not be too joyful in case something horrible might happen was a contracted way to live. I thought if I made myself small by holding myself back it would not attract too much attention, therefore, I felt safe. This was what I had chosen pretty much my whole life.

Through attending courses, presentations and workshops at Universal Medicine I was able to see that with this false sense of security I was not truly living. With my fear of fully living my life and being joyful, I was capping myself so that I couldn’t see any possibilities that were out there waiting for me to explore, to express and to share.

I came to the realisation that life isn’t just about me but it is about encompassing everything and everyone.

I came to understand and appreciate that we are all deeply connected and how protection is a contracted way to live that is completely false. The truth about my choices was exposed and this was such a healing to understand and to heal what was not loving.

From years of exposing what was not love and starting to choose love again, I have experienced something I have never thought was possible – an amazing expansion. During Sacred Esoteric Healing Level 5 I felt the loving energy of a full house of people. It was incredible… out of this world. During a break I lay down on a massage table, closed my eyes and felt the energy in the room. I felt I was finally home with my family, even though I only knew a small percentage of the people there. I felt Love was emanating from within and I could feel it all round me; I could feel the love in everyone’s voices and the entire hall. I thanked God with appreciation in my heart for constellating me to be there in the hall to experience this amazing power of love that has always been there for me to access.

For the first time in my life I felt completely safe to truly allow my love and joy to shine, to be who I am and to not hold back expressing the joy I felt. 

I felt deeply connected to me, to my body, to everyone, everything and to God. The love I felt for humanity was so absolute, so full and expanded. There are no words to capture what I had experienced, simply deep appreciation for everyone.

A huge massive thank you to everyone who attended Sacred Esoteric Healing Level 5 for expressing love and for creating the space for me to trust and to love again. Now that I have experienced what true connection to everyone and everything is, I know that whenever I feel disconnected I can choose to re-connect to love and to connect to God in an instant. In knowing that He is in me, all round me in every moment, always beside me and in every part of me and in absolutely everything, I can then choose to not hold back my joy but to fully express it with every part of my being, to celebrate brotherhood and return to God.

by Chan Ly

Further Reading:
Life and Its Gifts – Appreciation
Brought Back to Life
Before, During And After Sacred Esoteric Healing

1,324 thoughts on “Trust and Appreciation

  1. “Suppress love in order to attack and defend” – this is a pattern we seem to be repeating from one generation to the next. Not surprising the love quotient is felt to be far less than what it could be and we feel the gap between what is potentially available to us and what is being lived amongst us, and that hurts us very much.

  2. Thankyou Chan, reading this again today reminded me of the many awesome moments I’ve experienced in the Universal Medicine courses, and how they continue to impact my life in positive and beautiful ways.

  3. ‘I felt I was finally home with my family, even though I only knew a small percentage of the people there. ‘ Very gorgeous Chan, we know each other deeply from our inner connection.

  4. When we choose to tone our sparkle down in fear of attack from others, we attack ourselves more than anyone else ever can. It’s a coping mechanism to get through life, but it’s exactly that – about getting through life. Shine and sparkle and there is much more on offer, even if we do get attacked more.

  5. It is through connection to ourselves and to humanity that we face our pain and start to heal our hurts. Withdrawal and isolation do not work, the wounds just keep festering.

    1. I agree Gabriele, and I feel the only way to heal our wounds and the world is to add love and appreciation as our everyday medicine.

  6. What really hurts is to feel how miserable can life be when we choose to live so separate from our innate religiosity and divinity. This is so much so that life becomes all about relief coming from our ability to deeply abuse others.

  7. It is interesting to note that sometimes we are not aware that something is missing in our lives i.e joy, until it is pointed out to us. This in it’s self says a lot about humanity and the level of disconnection we are prepared to live with.

  8. This is such a powerful sharing Chan filled with many points of great wisdom. It is so true that in the illusion of protection we are actually causing greater harm to ourselves and others, as the love we are within is withheld from being known, felt and reflected as the blessing that is for us all, thus withholding the healing we all receive from love.

  9. ‘I came to understand and appreciate that we are all deeply connected and how protection is a contracted way to live that is completely false.’ This is a great awareness to come to Chan and to live in appreciation and acceptance of the love we truly are, we find the protection we once lived with will begin to naturally fall away.

  10. Shows how we can hold the world to ransom almost out of our own actions or choices. We project out to see the world appearing to be a certain way and then choose to bring our actions in line to match what we see. In place of this is seeing the world for what it is, feeling this and then choosing to hold true to what we feel. It’s not that the world isn’t a ‘horrible’ place at points or that things don’t happen but it’s more about you and how you move within these. If you choose to go into these and join them or if you choose to see them and then support the truth of who we actually are to everything and everyone. There is no doubt life impacts us, with this though there must be a movement by us first away from who we truly are for this to be possible. Deal with this movement and you will see that the impact can no longer touch you, you haven’t moved beyond it you have moved to pull it up or back to a true quality.

  11. The process of coming back to ourselves is deeply precious and joyful. This is a process that requires our consistent awareness and livingness and our lives can change so much because we are committed in moving in the direction of truth.

  12. From about 7 years old I decided that this was the safest way to function through life – to not be too joyful in case I get attacked. How many of us have made a similar decision in early childhood that needless to say is still playing out in our adult life – explains why we adults get oh so serious ( my hand is up here), and no longer feel the joy or the magic in life. I recently attended a week-end retreat with Chris James and boy was that a whole lot of fun and supported me greatly to connect with joy and lightness again.

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