I recently read a post by Tony about his relationship with cigarettes (Goodbye Peter Jackson), how he used them as a comfort when he was bored, sad and lonely, or when things were too much. He had done this since the age of 15, and shared how he was able to give them up.
I can relate to this exact scenario with food, especially sugary foods, or foods that are crunchy or have a certain texture like chips, biscuits, crackers or nuts that go creamy in my mouth. Reading through Tony’s story I saw I had the exact same patterns with food that Tony had had with cigarettes. These included times when I needed to have food close by me (at arm’s length) in most parts of my day and my life, even driving. I’ve told myself it’s good to take food places in case I get hungry and can’t find anything healthy to eat, but it’s really there to have as a backup in case I ‘need’ food. Sometimes I get anxious or even angry if I don’t have easy access to the foods that I want to eat.
I recall being like this as a child, going places with my family and complaining that I was hungry and that I needed food now! When told to wait until we got home I would whinge and moan that I needed it now. I even remember around the age of 10, on a fishing trip with my family, threatening to eat my arm if we didn’t go and get food. It was a joke at the time, or a way to tell my family I was serious, or to get attention – but what was driving me to be like that, to so desperately need food?
I’m very often still driven in the same way: I can see that I make sure I have the foods I need in the cupboard at home and I’m often thinking and planning about food and what my next meal will be. When I’m going on a long drive I will plan ahead in my mind where I can stop to get food if I need it. This requires more planning than ever before because I no longer grab a lolly bag or sweet juice, but will only eat gluten free, dairy free and low sugar foods, so the planning is more complicated as my choice of emergency food outlets are less available.
I’m beginning to understand how I use food as a comfort in case things aren’t going my way, or going how I thought they were going to go, or if I can’t handle or enjoy my own company (being alone), or if I am tired or feel a sense of sadness for no clear reason. Food has been my one and truly reliable best friend that is there in any moment that I need, to comfort and make me feel better. Not only do I use food as a treat or a comfort, but also to try to not feel at all, to not feel how tired I am or to not feel what is going on. I have learnt this from a very young age.
I’ve also learnt which foods do this most easily, eg. sugary, salty, fatty, gluten and dairy foods… or if I eat too much of anything it has the same effect. More recently I’ve cut out all of these foods and have been more aware not to overeat but interestingly, I’ve begun to see that I can eat gluten free, dairy free and sugar free foods in a certain way and it will still be comforting, cause me to bloat, feel racy, numb or not be aware of what I am feeling. For example, if I eat a healthy salad or an apple rushed or standing in the kitchen, or focussed on my work or my emotions or driving – or in any way that I’m focussed on doing something else, it still results in a numbing effect, or even bloating.
Tony’s post and many comments or inspirations I have heard through Universal Medicine have helped me to be honest enough to see the attachment I have to food. The courses and self-growth I have done with Universal Medicine have allowed me to feel that I can begin to consider what it is that I am not wanting to feel, begin to feel it and deal with it, so I don’t need to use food to numb my feelings.
At the end of the day I feel I have eaten in a numbing or comforting way because I have not been content with myself and who I am. Universal Medicine has shown me a way I can choose to reconnect with myself and love who I am from the inside out. So now I am beginning to feel how lovely I am, accept this and feel that I am more than enough no matter where I am, what I have done, who is with me or what is going on around me. I now feel how wonderful it can be to just sit still, with me, feeling a light body, not a sugar rushed or bloated body. So it’s crazy to want to use food to numb who I am deep down.
by Danielle
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
I am discovering that there is a ‘delicious’ essence within me…and within us all too…that is constant and does not need feeding. If I fall for the allure of a tasty treat, then it will often disconnect me from this innate deliciousness – and it is a high price to pay for a few moments of stimulation on the taste buds.
Food is an incredible source of comfort and even safety for many. When I go to conferences there are lots of people, and it doesn’t take long until many are looking for food or needing to have something to eat or drink. Understanding why we crave food so much is vital for our health and wellbeing…
I still don’t listen do what my body wants and override it with regards to food .. and other things. The question for me to ask with this is simple .. why?
Absolutely! I know so many people who have used food in the same way, myself included. It’s incredible when you realise just how much of a drug we treat it as. It’s an addiction that goes a lot deeper than society cares to talk about.
It’s great to recognise how we can feel hungry but it’s not actually always true hunger – as in our body may not actually need food in that moment, or not need the thing we are craving and by developing a deeper relationship with our body and awareness of our state of being inside we can be more discerning of whether it is food that we need in that moment (and if so what kind) or whether there is an emotional reaction there for us to reflect on and heal…
It’s a biggie this one, our relationship with food. It is literally killing us with so many of us overeating and it is crippling our health system with the rise of lifestyle related diseases. And it is such a personal one as well, as many of us eat as to not to feel and to dull ourselves from this world. This is why I adore Serge Benhayon so much as he is shining a light into this dark recess of humanity and asking us very directly yet gently, what is going for us that we are eating ourselves to death? And showing us a way of living that can lead us out of this – http://www.unimedliving.com/the-way-of-the-livingness.
The comfort of food – we’ve used it for so long and it’s a hard one to break. Once upon a time I’d eat chocolate eclairs, a packet of Tim Tams, chocolate bars and so on to try and fill a void or to suitably numb me. These days, I can do the same with almonds, apples and even cucumbers. It’s often not what we eat but the intention behind eating and the energy in which we are eating.
We use food as a distraction to cap the level of awareness we are cable of receiving; it is not just the quantity that we consume but also the quality in which we consume it in. Understanding this allows us to be more consistent in our movements to nurture our bodies with what is genuinely needed to serve.
When we understand that eating food either supports or distorts our awareness, our obsession with certain foods is seen in a whole new light. Are we eating to dull or are we eating to shine? Do we eat foods that support our evolution back to Soul, or do we choose foods that will thwart and delay this? There is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way to eat, just an ever unfolding path of discernment honouring where we are at and what is needed at this time so we can make the necessary adjustments to support the health and vitality of our bodies and this beings within in order to get the most out of this life.
It’s interesting, because to feel lonely and to need to numb this out shows that you are actually aware of the fact that we are never truly alone because we are all interconnected all of the time and so, loneliness is simply a decrease in your awareness and not the truth of your life.
Really interesting point you make here that even healthy food if it is eaten in certain way can still make us feel heavy in the body so clearly it is a much broader subject than just the food – it is also how it is prepared, purchased, cooked and eaten that also matters.
Absolutely Andrew. Its intereseting how all the things that lead up to the actual eating of the food is so often overlooked, when in fact how we are during everypart of the process before we eat is equally as improtant to look at and understand if we are to make true and lasting changes to our relationship with food.
I have really noticed how food can support my body and bring me vitality or it can drag it down and make it tired, bloated and lethargic or even racy sometimes. Being honest about how food really effects me has been a great revelation of me.
It’s so exhausting to revolve life around food! It takes a lot of planning, time, money and effort to make sure one is well fed at every stop, corner and completion of something. Perhaps that’s how we distract ourselves from feeling the depths of wisdom and beauty that is actually within – instead of feeling this we are focusing on food, our next meal and how we will get from A to B without a snack.
‘Food has been my one and truly reliable best friend that is there in any moment that I need, to comfort and make me feel better.’ And you are not the only one who has this best friend. When I see how many places there are nowadays where you can buy food and snacks, how you can eat and drink something in a shop while you are trying on some new clothes, or buy other things that are in no way related to food. People are seeking to numb or reward themselves, to fill an emptiness they don’t want feel and it is considered normal to do so, that’s the most scary part I guess.
I’ved use that good excuse as well, that I need to have food on me because I can’t eat a lot of what is prepared at most shops and I might get hungry. Well what happens most the time is that I end up eating not long after going out just because it is there. It’s super powerful to expose how food is no different to drugs or alcohol if we use it to numb or dull ourselves or plain and simply hold ourselves back.
Had we followed the advice of Socrates, “to eat to live and not live to eat”, we would not have the plague of heartburn, indigestion, obesity, bloating, etc. that we are at present experiencing worldwide. We have turned food into a numbing device, into a reward, into everything we think we need it to be rather than nourishment for our body.
We go to food for so many distractions, not only to not feel what is really going on, but we layer it with comfort and food that then doesn’t allow you to want to feel what is going on.
Food and emotions go hand in hand. If we really fed our bodies to sustain it our fridges wouldn’t be so full, we wouldn’t have frenzy shopping when there is a public holiday. It’s already started the war between the supermarkets as to who displays the first Christmas-y food and who allows themselves to be caught up in this? Once upon a time, I was until I realised how it had a hold of me, and then made different choices.
Food is probably one of the largest single issues in society. It has turned into much more than a way to provide nutrition to the body, it is a way of life, available at our fingertips, there to provide the solution to all our woes, or to provide a way of celebrating with friends and family. What if our woes could be healed by looking at them more clearly, what if our celebrations could be had by connecting with one another’s company? There is another way other than our daily lives revolving around food.
“Food has been my one and truly reliable best friend that is there in any moment that I need, to comfort and make me feel better.” Yes I have also begun to realise that my relationship with food has been based a lot of what you share here. But the question is – is that really the kind of friend we really want in our lives?
Well said Brendan, a great analogy.
Food becomes our blood and the the very cells of our bodies so in a sense whatever we eat is what we become and, as you say the food itself can come with an attitude, the attitude we are in when we eat it and the attitude of the people that have been responsible in bringing it to us and making it for us. No wonder then that our bodies react to these impositions with bloating, dullness, raciness, numbness, lethargy, excitement. Our bodies are very sensitive and, dare I say, sacred so when we treat them with the respect they deserve they blossam and find their own natural shape, size and weight.
We have become very clever at dulling ourselves with food, of course there are the obvious choices but also we have the subtle choices of food we go to in order to avoid feeling what’s there to be felt. Being honest with ourselves and honouring our own light is the way forth in developing a relationship with food that is true and supportive of our own evolution.
Great read, thank you. Yesterday I only ate what I felt like and there were no snacks or emotional eating, and I awoke with no guilt. When I have eaten something the day before that I did not need, I awake with a sense of guilt. It is a fascinating subject to explore and I agree that it is only with Universal Medicine’s support that I am beginning to lovingly explore my relationship with food. I have come a long way (also lost about 15 kilos) and there is more to go, it is a loving work in progress.
It is easy to use food as a comforter, we all know exactly which foods to reach for depending on the situation, yet when we truly allow ourselves to feel what is going on, we are able to make more loving choices, which means we don’t need to reach out for comfort.
It is interesting that we think we need food to give us energy when so often it can sap our energy.
It’s possibly a big step for some to see food this way but if you have a look you will see there is more to food then just a meal. Look at when you eat what you eat, not as a pressure of even with the thought of doing anything else but just look and ask why that food then. I remember and still have foods I eat at certain times for certain things. If I am out and about, the end of the week as opposed to the beginning, the morning to the night, if you’re feeling lonely to when you don’t etc etc and the list and detail can go on and on. What the key is that you allow yourself to at least open to what is possible, not just with food but with anything. The more awareness and understanding you have, the more you allow yourself to see what is there anyway.
I am so done with food!! I can really relate with what you say when we plan our day etc around food and I have subconsciously been doing this for a very long time. I am now starting to choose to plan my day around love and service. Food is not the first priority in my life yet I have let this been so now I am starting to lovingly say no. As you so rightly said we use food for a treat, comfort but I would say this is the main reason we use food … not to feel what we are feeling or to dull our awareness ‘Not only do I use food as a treat or a comfort, but also to try to not feel at all’.
If we don’t judge or condemn ourself by our past choices it’s easier to be truly honest with ourself about what we have been choosing and from there have a platform from which to change. Bringing in more real love and acceptance of ourself gives us a foundation from which we can build more love in every aspect of the way that we live.
For me it was not so much about eating sugar foods and the like, because my foods are gluten, sugar and dairy free so no dulling from the types of food I am eating but i did notice the other day when I ate more food than my body needed how much dulling and numbing I felt in my body, so what was it I was not wanting to feel, even eating the amount of good food is some thing to be aware of.
I have always “loved” food and to be more accurate, I have loved using food to stop me feeling things. Its been a great way to distract myself from other things in my life. Lately though, I have really noticed how certain foods make me feel, it is actually a really unpleasant feeling when the foods are sugary. I feel it tingling in my head and rushing through my blood, I cannot think straight until it has worn off, its almost like waiting for a drug to leave my system, its cool though because I never thought I could quit sweets but it seems they are quitting me.
This is such a great offering. I have been noticing how I have been overeating nuts almost every day. I come home and eat my dinner and I am full, yet I reach for a handful or two of nuts. As I have already been exposed to some knowledge about our relationship with food so I try to look back at my day, and what I am finding is it is impossible to isolate a moment or an incident that would be the cause of that – a day is a continuous one big long moment that is how it is because of how it was the moment ago. It is an ongoing observation for me – the one that reveals so much about the ‘me’ I didn’t want to accept.
It is interesting how we use food to stop ourselves feeling what we dont want to feel, and how we can interpret what we call hunger, for something completely different. I had a day recently which started early in the morning, and was very full, to the point where I didnt actually have time to stop and eat anything until the evening. The remarkable thing was that although I felt a bit hungry at afew point during the day, I did not keel over and fall to the ground due to my lack of food, but every time I felt the ‘hunger’ pangs I had a drink of water. I worked hard throughout the day and did not feel exhausted at the end of it. This was a real marker for me, and showed me how much I use food often as a crutch to ‘keep me going’. Although there may be some days when we do need ot eat more often it brought a greater awareness of my own continual dependency on food, and that there can be a differnet way to look at the food we eat and the way we eat it.
We can survive quite a long time without food. I’ve questioned in myself whether what I associate as a feeling of hunger really is hunger. Or is that just what I think hunger is and have labelled it so? Perhaps that empty feeling in my stomach is not hunger. And does it really need to be avoided? Is that feeling really so bad, or is there more going on?
I can relate to your blog so well. I used to get very grumpy and even angry when I was hungry. I didn’t understand why but would eat to get rid of that feeling. Now I don’t feel like this anymore because my relationship with food has changed and I have developed more loving choices. I now eat to nourish instead of numbing and allowing myself to feel what is going on instead of ignoring it. It’s made a huge difference to how I relate to people close to me and this supports me to be myself more and more.
Our lack of contentment in life can’t be quelled with food, but the focus can be shifted elsewhere quite easily. For example, many people struggle with feeling uncomfortable in their bodies as a result of what they have eaten – and as a result, feel a lack of contentment within themselves and their body. If we don’t deal with the rawness of the discontentment from our day – we are faced with it as secondary level of discontentment which appears to be with ourselves, when it is in fact not us at all.
I totally agree food can be used as a way to comfort or trying numb what we’re feeling. I know my go to foods when my body hurts, or I’m really tired and they’re certainly not what I would choose to nourish my body normally. It’s become so obvious that the food I want to eat is a direct reflection of how I’m feeling within myself that day.
Yes, I agree. It is so interesting to be aware of our cravings and understanding where they stem from which usually supports us to make wiser and more loving food choices.
My relationship with food has changed. I used to control what I ate and how much and as soon I let this ill-behaviour go I noticed a change. The change was that I was becoming honest with my relationship with food and instead of controlling food with my mind I began to notice the times in my day when I felt I needed something sugary and would eat it. I then began to associate the need with an overwhelming feeling that I couldn’t cope with what was in front of me and would reach out for a banana to make me feel better to try and fill the empty feeling inside which didn’t make me feel better but more racy and stimulated. Making a connection with what is going on in my life and food and my choice as to whether I take responsibility for how I am feeling is certainly supporting me to have an understanding of my relationship with food and as I become more honest with myself the more I can pause to reflect on what is going on within and around me.
I’ve started to realise how often thoughts of food come in. But I’m now starting to understand, through presentations I attend via Universal Medicine, that these thoughts aren’t truly my own and that recognising this means I can set them aside and turn to my body – a far more reliable indicator – for information on how and what I’m truly feeling. However understanding that the thoughts we receive might not be our own means accepting the possibility that we are fed thoughts from sources external to us that might not have our best interests at heart. This is a truth for me.
Food fuels our body and nourishes its bodily functions. That should be our primary focus of eating but in this day and age we are far more likely to eat for comfort or even indulgence which will always be at the expense of the quality of food we eat. In a world that obesity statistics are escalating significantly which in turn is putting more and more of a burden on our already overwhelmed health care system, this is something we all need to start to get honest about to change our ways.
This article made me laugh as I remembered being a kid and saying things that are mentioned here when I didn’t get what I wanted. It was the same for my children and we all had our little tweaks we made to it. I can relate to a lot of what is said in this article around food and while we still get tagged into a debate around food and hunger this is not truly about this. This is about feeling and not about food alone; it’s about more awareness around how we are with everything and why some are placed on different lists to others. It’s great to see things written and down that bust myths around things and this is one of them. If we keep leaving the world to be as it is then we allow the ‘norm’s’ to walk to a place where the only normal thing about them is that there a lot of people doing them; there is no relationship with quality or with what is truly being done.
Using food as a distraction has contributed to the overall ill health we see in our world today. We have the knowledge of what foods are good for us and the portions of which to eat. What has been missing is the love of self and honour for our body that will support us to feed ourselves for vitality.
From a young age I have rushed my food, I would race to finish it as a child to make sure I didn’t miss out on a second portion and this pattern has stayed with me as an adult. Breaking this pattern has not been easy to shift particularly when I’ve spent the day disconnected from my body as I use the meal as a opportunity to numb the separation I have felt during the day.
The more we love ourselves the less we need to numb what we don’t want to feel.
Whilst our ‘go tos’ vary – the reason we go to anything that dulls us is the same – ‘I don’t want to feel’ and thus ‘I don’t want to evolve right now’.
An awesome blog exposing how complex and abusive our relationship with food can be. As obesity levels continue to sky rocket world wide, it is more critical than ever that we look at what’s driving us to eat certain foods and the way in which we eat food generally. Are we eating to nourish our body or to numb it from feeling what is truly going on?
If we connect deeply to the body and feel the delicacy and rhythm of it we would never think of dulling this with food of any kind. Could it be that we tend to dull ourselves with any treat we can find, and of which many are food? When this is true, this knowing could be a key to all the issues we in general experience as a community with life.
Food is a huge part of life for many people. I was observing kids playing recently and they were erratic and all over the place- they had eaten heaps of high processed sugar foods for lunch- a daily occurrence that has become quite normal. I was watching it and wondering- it would be crazy to see animals feed their young foods that totally knocked them about yet as humans we don’t really question it. We need to be asking why? Why is this normal?
“Food has been my one and truly reliable best friend that is there in any moment that I need, to comfort and make me feel better”. My best friend too and to be honest, now and then I allow this friend to visit me falling for the comfort it is offering me. I am observing the way I am with food (instead of beating myself up for my choices) or better stay with myself and why I don’t want to feel what is there to be felt at any given moment.
It is crazy on one hand to eat our self away from how lovely we truly are. But if we avoid our choices to not be that love, that never goes away we have to repeatedly numb ourselves. And from experience, the more we eat the numbing foods the more our thought patterns go from – ‘this feels horrible in my tummy’ to ‘I love this!’ It’s only until we break that cycle do we get to feel that our initial feelings have always been there (the intolerance to the food) underneath the mind that says there’s nothing wrong, just a little bit or ‘I can’t live without it’
The spirit is exceptionally cunning when it comes to finding ways to get us exactly what we crave. I recognise in myself the same kind of planning ahead, especially as food choices have reduced, and the same kind of crutch-like dependence as described here. I can feel as I write this my dependence on food is one giant distraction, a way of limiting life so it’s all about the next meal rather than what’s truly needed. Put this way, obsessing about food is a great way to keep playing it small.
Boy oh boy, what an on-target article this is in what it reveals and shares about the dynamics we attach to food! Food has been my best friend too, and still is, when it comes down to it. Loosening the attachment to food by accepting more of what I feel – the good, the bad and the ugly – is the way forward, for intellect (‘mind-set’) alone will not do it. The failure of the diet and gym industry to offer any lasting change beyond that which rigid discipline can exert attests to this truth.
The effects of certain foods on my body is constantly surprising me. More recently I’ve noticed that when I eat sweet things out of an absolute need to numb something I am feeling, the next day my face is puffy and I look tired the whole day, even if I have had what felt like a decent sleep. Not only do I look tired, I feel a bit lethargic and all I want is more of the sugary fix to keep me going. It’s an awful cycle to be trapped in.
Food, food and the things we love to do with food. While replacing foods with ‘better’ varieties has been the push for many years and does allow you a different style of thinking and eating it’s still not the clear and full picture. What is food? What is it to be truly used for? Is it meant to be a focus or just one of many parts of something that is there to support and nourish us in a certain way. We are seeing many more articles about how we cover things with food, feelings, emotions, cycles etc all covered with food. I really don’t think you can ask the current food industry for the truth because there is too much at stake for them. Money currently controls food and in that we will always be fed the lie. Food isn’t what it seems as this blog is saying and settling for a better version of the same thing doesn’t mean it’s still not covering something. By all means eat lighter so you feel lighter but realise this is just another part of letting go of how we are with food.
How often we replace the words ‘I don’t want to feel’ with ‘I’m hungry’.
Great point Kylie Jackson and something worth bringing awareness to! Honestly, most of us (in the wealthy countries) hardly get a chance to go hungry with all the food we are eating during one day.
Yes, we can get in a ’tis’ about missing a meal or not having sufficient snacks on us to get us through the day and yet we can survive for something like 30 days without food. I’m not suggesting for one moment that we try but it’s interesting to feel our need to have food 24/7.
Honesty about our relationship with food is the first step in healing the ways we use food to numb our awareness and the avoidance of responsibility we all are being called to on our evolution back to soul.
Universal Medicine has opened my eyes to see clearly my relationship with food and how I use food to control life ahead of choosing food to nourish my body. I can become complacent because on the surface my diet looks quite amazing from the outside, yet the behaviours are there – the overeating to numb and the need for a treat now and again as a reward. So great to read your blog and feel what is going on underneath.
Such an honest and open blog that made me squirm in places as I can relate very well to using food as a best friend and a way to suppress what I am feeling. Even when I am eating really lightly and well there always seems to be thoughts around a ‘reward’ or treating myself in some way, but I am learning there is no greater reward or treat than feeling a lovely connection with me.
I could have written this blog myself, almost word for word. It is only with hindsight that I can see how much the food was used in my childhood as a high point, reward, comfort, or to make life sweeter and worthwhile. While my diet remained fairly ‘normal’ I didn’t realise how much I used food to feel or not feel a certain way. I am realizing that the focus on food is really a smoke screen to hide the feelings or behaviours that I don’t want to deal with.
It is interesting to observe how and when I eat. I know it’s often when I don’t feel hungry. I use food as comfort stops throughout my day and will sometime feel anxious if I don’t have my meals planned out for the day. I was inspired by your last paragraph. Rather than using will power to drop the excessive eating, I am finding self-care a great way to feel more of who I am so that I don’t need food to numb that empty/anxious feeling.
Food is a fascinating topic as it something we all consume and generally are consuming in bigger and bigger quantities. We see it as a must and also see it as a way of celebrating. But what does food actually do for our body and do we really need the quantities the we currently consume today? Obesity is at very high levels which shows that maybe we are consuming too much, but why? I know for me as you have shared it comes back to trying to fill up something in me, trying to not feel a hurt or a pain – essentially food can distract you away from feeling what is actually going on. I have found whilst the few seconds in your mouth can fulfill the desire the feelings come back and so we only momentarily suppress them and prolong the angst.
It’s seems so harmless to just have that next last mouthful of food even when I know I am full and my body is done with eating, yet it always tires me out and makes me feel quite heavy – even just one extra mouthful. My body communicates loudly what is needed, and if I follow I feel light and vital. Food, what and how we eat etc, is an important conversation because the subtleties have just as powerful effect as do the obvious unhealthy choices like eating junk food.
Being honest about the relationship we have with food is super important in order to see if we are using food as a way to delay or suppress feeling the higher level of responsibility we are all being ask to step up to or if we are willing to make adjustments according to what our bodies truly need for our evolution.
This is really timely for me to read as with food I have been aware how I will let go of one thing that I will use as a ‘go to’ only for another thing to come in and replace it. This has been going on for a while and so while I ‘think’ I am letting go of something the truth is I am avoiding feeling something by using food. Just now before reading this blog I could feel in my body how I need to get to the bottom of this once and for all, lovingly so, so it no longer runs me. I am making an ‘issue’ when in truth an issue is not there. Which then brings me to what you have so beautifully shared that we use food in order not to feel everything that is going on around us. It also shows how food and certain types of foods can be addictive and in turn produce addictive behaviours – ‘Sometimes I get anxious or even angry if I don’t have easy access to the foods that I want to eat.’
‘Eat light, feel light’, still the best advice I have ever been given regarding food, so simple and easy to understand.
Our relationship with food is like our relationship with God. Sometimes we say there is a vengeful or nasty God that is against us or a God that does not understand us or has created the mess we have on earth and in our lives. Yet we continue to follow the belief that this God is true instead of listening to our hearts and feeling the true love of God. Food is the same, sometimes we continue to eat something that is not going to benefit us and instead harm our bodies and we know it so……. yet in our minds we think we ‘need’ it.
Food has been and at times still is an important thing in my life. Planning my day and work around food, e.g. that I need to have lunch at a certain time without the option to have it delayed is still a pattern and I feel is not supporting me but makes me anxious and distracted from what is truly being asked of me.
My eating habits have changed significantly over the years. One change is that I feel to eat smaller portions that I used to. Recently I have observed that when I feel anxious I will go food shopping and still buy way too much. I feel settled when the fridge and cupboards are full but what happens is the food ends up spoiling and having to be thrown away, or I will eat it just so it doesn’t go to waste even though I don’t really want it. Something for me to look at.
I love coming back to read this blog, ‘food has been my best friend’, it is so true for me. It has been the thing that i’ve used to suppress expression and numb myself from who I truly am. It has been something that I didn’t deeply indulge in, ie. with cakes and chocolates, I was never the sweet tooth, yet, I still ate when I didn’t need to or over ate, this carried on for many years. It is only now that I am deeply taking responsibility for me my relationship with food, looking under the covers, what motivates me to eat and when, what do I do when I feel tension come up in my day, I have and always gone to eat something so to not really feel what is there to be felt. This is now shifting, but slowly, so allowing this to be an opportunity for me to go deeper within myself also.
Food is essential to fuel our physical body but the quality of what, how and when we eat it all correspondingly affects the quality of our basic bodily functions and our overall potential and actual health and wellbeing big time and this is a fact we all need to be totally aware of and responsible for.
Food is the ultimate drug in our current times, it enables a safe comfortable place for us to reside when the chips are down. It is a place that can be easily justified for being a necessity for survival and nutrition however at the core it is us not wanting to feel what there is to be felt.
It is great to contemplate how we can use food to numb or comfort ourselves when we’re not truly content with who we are… How gorgeous to be inspired by it being possible to feel that we are actually enough as we are and to accept ourselves and what we feel fully so that we can change patterns with food that do not support us to know this.
The title alone here “Food has been my best friend’ I think many of us can relate to, I certainly can. We can use food for so many things, to dull us, numb us out, take us out of our current feelings. To squash what is really going on etc etc…..the list could go on. The trap many of us fall into is not eating food for nourishment, but to check out or use the excuse we are celebrating, comfort eating and the like.
The way I approach food is constantly needing to be refined, and developed… and not listening to the communication from my body leads to bodily reactions that I never had previously. It makes sense that our body is the guage of healthy eating, and not in fact a set rule or food pyramid that can dictate what will or will not work for us specifically.
It’s as though we can become so familiar with the raciness, dulling, bloating and comfort of eating food in a certain way, that it can be surprising to feel how lovely our bodies feel without it. And it is not until we experience life without these things that we realise how far we are living from the vitality and lightness that is actually possible.
This is so exposing… food is there as a constant background noise to let my issues play out: when I get overtired, when I’m excited, emotional, a bit down. There is a well known range of foods that will just help to take the edge off these feelings rather than simply allowing myself to feel them. As an alternative, if I let myself feel them then perhaps I can go making different choices?
Thank you for the great insight to how things are not what they seem with food or anything for that matter. I stopped eating gluten and dairy a long time ago but have taken up many substitutes that are similar. These things served me for a certain time while I was needing to come off gluten and dairy, but now they affect me nearly just as much, with the same side effects. With the risk of sounding dramatic I liken these substitutes to Methadone for a Heroine addict, it’s a great tool if it is what is needed to break a habit, but long term it has been a solution for me.
It is amazing how manipulative and crafty we can be with food. I have also cut out gluten, dairy and sugary foods as my body feels so much better without them yet I have found a way to replace what these foods achieved – a heaviness or a numbness to not feel, raciness to avoid being present and with myself…on it goes. If we really look at food with full honesty, there is much to be exposed.
We can use food for a multitude of reasons, we can use it to numb ourselves, to be our friend, to comfort us, to entertain, to celebrate. It is interesting, when it is for the latter purposes, it can be under the guise of connecting with people and making it about that, but in actual fact, that connection always starts with us, how we are with ourselves.
It’s interesting to consider what we have used as our best friends through our life to help us cope with difficult situations. It could be food, smoking… or drinking, or drugs. All these coping mechanisms that stop us from feeling the truth. For me another method I have used to ‘cope’ is working. Hiding away in the office keeping myself busy and not having to really look at what is going on.
Now that I have seen that almost every single time I have wanted food it has been a craving rather than genuine hunger (the body can go way, way, way, way longer without food than we think) then I can use those moments as alarm bells and offerings to look deeper at what might be at play. It’s super cool and I’m just beginning to develop a fun relationship with it. A zillion miles, like you, from what my relationship with food used to be. Thanks to what I have learnt through Universal Medicine.
I remember growing up the first thing I would think about when waking up was food and when and what I could eat, I couldn’t wait to have my sugar hit, whether it was chocolate for breakfast or very sugary cereal. This has completely changed now and I hardly ever feel that desperate need now, though there are still some mornings I can find myself upon waking up thinking about food, this just shows me where Im maybe exhausted or took to many things on the day before it can also be a distraction for not wanting to feel what is coming up for me on that particular day.
It was so easy to compensate with food, especially convenience foods like chips and sweet things. I found it easy to look at most foods and harder to look at the patterns. However, it is something we can clearly look at, it is not hidden, it is clearly in front of us and a good place to start. A lot of our food choices are great and nutritious and it is also an area that we can appreciate how far we have come and appreciate the love and care we take with food and therefore the love and care we have for ourselves.
Food is such a huge one for us and all I can so relate to what you have shared. That food really does become our best friend. It is there for us when no one else is, we can rely on it, we don’t feel it lets us down, it is always there for us. But in those moments, it is always masking what is truly going on, so to get myself out of that momentum, I had to bring a lot more honesty to myself, this is a daily choice and commitment.
This is a conversation everyone needs to have with themselves. We need the space in our lives to honestly look at what we are doing with food. We also need to address why most people do not feel great about themselves most of the time. This seems so sad and no wonder they don’t want to feel it. How lovely it would be if people could feel how lovely they are and appreciate themselves more.
Food is such a huge one for most people, to allow food to be a nourishing, healthy fuel for the body, as opposed to how most people across the globe view food which is for indulgence, snacking, rewards and the like. It is such an easy one to reach for to make ourselves feel better, comforted, happy. But none of those things make you feel better, empowered or joyful, food doesn’t make anything go away or to heal anything. It is certainly a daily and ongoing discovery relationship. Feeling into each day what my body requires, deepening my awareness, then being able to take more responsibility.
Absolutely raegankcairney. Food is most people’s acceptable drug. It is the cheapest, most convenient and safest fix as well as giving a good buzz in the mouth and a numbing in the body, it certainly is a hard one to heal if we are not bring a deep level of honesty, love and truth to how we go about using it
I realise how much I have been catering for other people at my own expense. I have been buying food for when so and so comes to visit because that is what they like. Some of these foods are not foods I would choose to eat nor would my body thank me for. Less and less do I enjoin and partake of these foods with them and more often the foods are going beyond their sell by date or becoming impacted with ice in the freezer and I am having to throw them out. This is a waste of energy and money and am choosing to give up this old habit. If I just keep what I feel is true for me then if someone else wants something different in the future we can deal with it then. In writing this I realise I did used to live like this for a while, so why have I fallen back on wanting to cater for the world again? Something to ponder on.
This is such a common story for so many of us, that there is an ongoing and continual changing relationship with food. I so agree it is not just about what we eat, but ‘how’ we eat it. The difference when you are standing up vs sitting down, eating in a hurry or choosing to be present and eating slowly. This is always an ongoing choice and bringing awareness to the process.
I overeat when I’m super tired so I don’t have to feel how painful it is in my body. Sitting at a desk all day struggling to stay awake is painful. But overeating makes me even more tired. I have also observed in my office that people do the same thing and have huge slumps not long after.
Deborah you make a great point. Will power doesn’t work, you have to feel it in your body and honestly and lovingly deal with the emotion that is holding you to ransom with that food item. Will power is just another emotion holding you back from the emotion you are wanting to avoid. So as soon as you hit a small bump in the road these emotions come tumbling down and you are worse off than before.
Food is such a huge one…..I know for me it has been my friend, my comfort, my nemesis, my regret at times, my celebration, my ‘i don’t want to feel this’ so will eat it anyway!! It is an ongoing process to truly connect in and make loving choices, listening to my body and choosing from that love that is there. Having a consistency around that is still unfolding.
And that’s been a block for me, to ‘simply accept where I am’, especially if it’s a place that’s not so emotionally comfortable. Thank you for stating it so clearly, Anne.
I can very much relate to eating food to get going instead of feeling how tired or simply more fragile my body is. I have observed that without the food or sometimes just less food I don’t push myself so hard instead I stay more gentle and in rhythm with me.
ooh it almost stings to read this article because food had been my best friend for a long time!
haha hilarious “same defensiveness as a drug addict”
But it is true to a point, because as a society we only see food an issue if it leads to a chronic disease. We don’t consider food a vice to deal with our anxiety until that translates to a physical appearance of obesity (this is only 1 example). Food is a very big topic and one could say it has become a modern religion. I draw attention to the mountains of cooking shows and demand for hip coffee shops, gourmet street food and flavour transcendent experiences.
Your words “attachment to food” triggers something in me. I’m asking myself, when and with which food I still want to numb myself ? That is huge. I know I’m already complete before I start to eat, but sometimes I still use food to feel better. It is an ongoing journey with food for me.
What I eat is a very clear indicator for me of how loving I feel about myself – often I will go for a quick snack when I get home from work in the evening, even though I know I will be eating dinner very soon, and consequently eat more than my body needs and go to bed feeling full. It is a way of distracting myself, of avoiding how I am feeling and the responsibility of my days choices.
The days where I come home and make the choice to lay down and rest for a few moments first, to check in with my body and how I’m feeling, sets me up for a completely different evening where the meal I then make and eat is far more supportive for my body; I don’t overeat and go to bed feeling nourished – and loved – by me!
I love how you have exposed that food can be used to avoid life and not feel what is going on or who we truly are… and that healing this requires a true willingness to feel and accept how lovely we are. For it is when we truly feel and cherish this connection with ourselves we are less prepared to alter it with food.
” Food has been my one and truly reliable best friend that is there in any moment that I need, to comfort and make me feel better. Not only do I use food as a treat or a comfort, but also to try to not feel at all, to not feel how tired I am or to not feel what is going on. I have learnt this from a very young age.” How many of us do this – or have done in the past until we have seen through what food is actually doing to us all. Given sweet treats as a reward can set in a lifetime of wanting such celebrations, thinking we deserve a treat. I remember being given a small chocolate bar every time I visited my Grandma – and sugar rationing had only just ceased in the UK. We are not taught the truth about what sugar and other numbing foods can do to us – our parents didn’t know either.
So true sueq2012, food is ever present in all cultures as a form of treat, comfort and reassurance. We say we deserve to have it, but never question why we crave something that can be harmful to the body.
When I look back at my relationship with food as a child it did not set up good patterns to eat for nourishment. It was used as a reward, a treat, celebration or as a way to create a feeling of family connection. Never was food used to support the lovely feeling of lightness that is within.
Whether we eat gluten free / diary free / sugar free or not – it seems to come back to the quality we are in when we cook and eat. Is the food there to nourish us and can we enjoy and appreciate the meal and how it supports us?
Yes it is crazy to consider that we feel how lovely, light and beauty our bodies naturally are and can be when we make the choices that support that yet we feel the comfort in trashing something so pure and precious as our body? Crazy!
I can relate so well to yours and Tony’s blogs having been a smoker for 30-40 years and used both food and alcohol to do all the things you describe. Like you both, through Universal Medicine I no longer need to numb myself and instead address what is underlying my feelings and love being with me. With deep, deep appreciation to Serge Benhayon and all those associated with Universal Medicine.
First thing that comes to mind is the cookie monster…. How crazy he would go for cookies!! Reminds me of how quickly we can go for something when things aren’t working out the way we want.
I agree, I can also relate so much to this. I truly loved what you shared, it’s been very inspiring.
Wow it’s amazing how we know exactly what foods to go for to numb or reward ourselves with. When everything is going really well for me and simply flowing I can easily over eat or eat in nervous energy to take me away and make an issue = how crazy is that- learning not to do this is just a choice to affirm the true me.
“At the end of the day I feel I have eaten in a numbing or comforting way because I have not been content with myself and who I am.” As mentioned in previous comments, it isn’t about the food per se, but the underlying emotion. When I am feeling content with myself, I eat less and eat better quality foods too.
So often we make it about the food or over eating even when we know before we have eaten something whether or not it is suitable to be eating that food at that time in that quantity – or not. Recently at a Universal Medicine event it was presented it is not the abuse with food per se that is the problem to solve but rather to feel beneath this and discern what is energetically at play. Often I would rather focus on the food I have eaten as the problem rather than understand the truth.
Very interesting Tony, ‘anxiety was not wanting to feel what I was feeling’, I have only recently made the link between anxiety and food, particularly nibbling on those nuts when I don’t really need them and in truth my body doesn’t want them. It’s an ongoing exploration and observation process in order to get to know myself at a deeper level. I am now starting to feel the extent I have used food to comfort me although this is not obvious because I am neither a big eater, nor have weight issues, but I still rely on food in untrue ways.
Thank you for writing such a clear description of what is very known to me, it is indeed crazy to feel that I sometimes just wonder why I need to eat a food to numb myself.
Upon reading this again I had a memory come up for me; I was around 6 years old at a friends house who’s parents were too busy to make us lunch – I asked and begged my friend to get their parents to make something but to no avail. I ran home (up the road) as my need for food felt life threatening and sat in the outdoor cupboard eating the dry dog food biscuits until my mum came home! The dog food actually gave me the comfort I needed at the time yet I was crying and feeling victimised by the means I had to get it.
It’s interesting when we realise that we use food in exactly the same way as we use cigarettes, drugs and alcohol – to numb or comfort ourselves and ultimately keep us separate from who we truly are. Getting honest about why we are eating certain foods can be challenging, but when we eat in a way that nurtures the body, the results are worth the attention we give this important part of our daily lives.
I too can relate to having ‘food issues’. I take far more time to prepare food ahead of time now so when I get home and really need to eat, there is something waiting for me, which stops me from wanting to grab something that’s quick and easy, but will not nourish me in the same way. It seems that people are always commenting on my lunch and how it looks ‘so yummy’, I keep saying, it’s as much about taking the time to prepare something delicious for yourself as it is about the food!!
I’ve found that even though my diet has changed dramatically from what it was a few years ago, food can still be a comfort in more subtle ways. Those gluten free, dairy free, sugar free desserts that we occasionally have as a ‘treat’, but don’t really need, and suffer from afterwards. I need to feel into the foods all the time and make changes according to how my body is feeling, even though I may miss the yumminess of them.
Hi Peter, I can so relate to: ‘ Those gluten free, dairy free, sugar free desserts that we occasionally have as a ‘treat’, but don’t really need, and suffer from afterwards’. Yes, and the trick is for me anyway, is that oh I can have it, its gluten/dairy/Sugar free, it’s okay to have a small treat now and again… it is the exact same energy as eating a big slice of chocolate cake, because I’m still eating it for a ‘treat’ and for the comfort it brings.
When I was 12, I started gaining weight. Not really much but clearly so. I remember my favourite phrase at the table: I used to ask ‘what is to be devoured?’ I do not remember using my teeth. Just eating the chunks and send them directly to my stomach to fill me big time. I used to finish eating in a couple of minutes. The hurt of feeling emptiness killed me. Based upon dealing with my needs, I could also say, food was my best friend, but in truth it was not.
Honesty for me is a great key to my diet. I used to be disciplined with foods, these days I allow myself to be more honest than disciplined. My diet is not perfect, never was, but I learn to be honest about it.
“Not only do I use food as a treat or a comfort, but also to try to not feel at all, to not feel how tired I am or to not feel what is going on. I have learnt this from a very young age.” Those could be my words exactly. I’m so appreciative to Universal Medicine for offering the support and wisdom for me to look closely at my relationship with food. It is a daily learning as I deepen my relationship with myself and come to accept the lightness and exquisiteness of me as entirely natural and normal. Still at times find myself eating for comfort. On those days I can feel so clearly in my body a sense of heaviness and fog but I no longer beat myself up for the choices, just allow myself to feel the ‘why’ I chose foods that don’t support me to be love.
The term comfort eating has been around for a long time and used in the last few years, particularly with weight loss shows and the damaging consequences it can have to our health. Your article adds a whole new depth to the term. Just because it’s healthy doesn’t mean we don’t use it for comfort. When food is used for comfort, we will cause harm to our bodies because it simply doesn’t need the quantity or type of food. Putting something where it doesn’t belong always causes disruption and chaos.
I have been playing dumb to this very simple understanding you offer Emily. Wondering why I am still bloated or hazy after eating chicken soup. ‘So I can’t even enjoy that anymore’!
But as you say, its more then the food; its the why and how I eat too.
I know that for me too, building self worth and awareness has helped me to strip away many ways in which I used food that weren’t nourishing!