by Emily Newman, Mirani, QLD
Wow!
That was one of my first thoughts when the Men in Black went on stage to start singing for the Universal Medicine end of year celebration in December 2012. But what I felt when this happened was so much more than those three letters can begin to describe. I have never had so much fun watching grown men on stage! And, it was a choir. When I think back, it puts a big smile on my face. I would have loved to have seen the decision making process for these men when they actually made the choice to get together and be a part of a choir for everyone to enjoy. Making this decision to stand on stage and sing so openly to a crowd would take a lot of courage and strength within oneself.
Let me paint a picture for those who weren’t there.
Chris James was singing beautifully, like he usually does, and on his own this is fantastic. But then from the side, about 20 grown men walk up on stage and arrange themselves playfully into a group – some were a little nervous, others were stoked to be up on stage. These men then started swaying all as one and singing. They weren’t uniform and swaying exactly at the same time, but they were beautiful for who they are and what they were doing. It was an astounding men’s choir, coordinated by strength, care and dedication, supported by Chris James.
Have you ever seen children on stage? Really enjoying themselves and having so much fun? I love watching this, seeing the joy and sometimes shyness they have when expressing.
Well, this was like that, only ten times better because it helped me see that men can be amazing, and loving, and tender, and caring – and, I’ll put this in again… amazing. There was a certain pureness, as if all the hurts they have had when they were younger weren’t there anymore and they now had the freedom to enjoy what they were doing. They were like little children again, having so much fun without the grownup do’s and don’ts, with no restrictions. I am so proud to know men like this.
For me, it was a new experience to see men express in this way. I have not experienced many men in my life who are so open and willing to be playful and publicly show their very caring side. I have often experienced men who have been moulded by ideals of how men should behave, and there is often a hardness to this. In this, I have rarely seen men free enough to be able to express true love or equalness with females, let alone other males. Rarely have I seen men able to let go and open up, let themselves be and just have fun. To have seen the Men in Black go on stage and sing their hearts out meant a lot to me; it was a very beautiful and special experience.
It is so uncommon to see men working as one – with no competition and no championing, or trying to be ‘better’. They were up there, singing so beautifully together, and I was amazed. I never knew men could be so awesome and open, and willing to let themselves be. I have heard a lot of women at some stage say that ‘men are all the same’. Well ladies, I have found some that aren’t.
Thank you to all of the men who performed. Thank you to Juzzie Smith for being so playful with instruments and having the best of fun. To Chris James, just for being awesome. But especially to the Men in Black for putting so much time, effort and dedication into the choir for the night; and for opening up, being tender and allowing me to see that all men are truly amazing… and now I’ll be able to see this every day because I know it is there. I would also like to thank them for inspiring others: for being something other men can look at and go ‘whoa, I could actually be like that!!’
Chris James – thank you for supporting these men to return to their natural expression – it has inspired so many others.
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Emily, you have painted such a vivid picture with your words that I felt I was there with you. How inspiring it must have been to sit, watch and hear these beautiful men step as one, out of their comfort zones, expressing their vulnerability as they opened themselves up to the world. Just imagine if all the men in the world were supported to do this on a regular basis; how the world would change.
When we sing from the heart, there is a purity we align to that makes the whole experience one of astounding beauty.
Wow, to be on the receiving end of all that you have described sounds wonderful – and such a fun night!
It is amazing to see people up on stage with no need for recognition, but just being themselves. They could be delivering the most amazing performance or revelation, yet stand there as our equal, simply offering their body and whatever coming through to be expressed in however the way. It is just such a beautiful blessing.
The key here, is that every man has this playfulness and purity to him, perhaps buried very deep, perhaps rejected. But the men described here on stage are not special, they are men like any other. And so, the stage is open for every man to join them, and to play in the beauty that is being a man.
Chris James has indeed inspired many men to sing, move and express from their innate tenderness – rather than their learned hardness. I am one of them – and learning this from Chris’ example has changed my life many fold. Thank you Chris – and thank you Emily for sharing your appreciation here.
I had the amazing experience of singing in a male choir last night and it felt awesome to feel that sense of connection and unity with other men and to be free to express the tender strength that is our natural way and share this with everyone there.
So beautiful for you to actually see and feel how men can work and sing together playfully expressing their tenderness and sensitivity which is innate in every man on the planet, an amazing reflection they have given to the world of men who are so caught up in the world of roles and sterotypes of the rough tough he man.
“They were like little children again, having so much fun without the grownup do’s and don’ts,” The child in all of us is waiting for us to stand up and sing with love, tenderness and fun for just being who we are.
I recall seeing these men sing on stage and it was very moving and deeply healing to experience, the way these men expressed themselves so tenderly and gently warmed the hearts of everyone who was there.
Beautiful to feel how amazing the men were and how connected to their hearts like young children who are able to let go and have fun, without a thought about what anyone else thinks, and at the same time singing most beautifully.
“It is so uncommon to see men working as one – with no competition and no championing, or trying to be ‘better’. Thank you Emily for sharing with such appreciation of what you beheld in the awesome presentation given by the Men in Black Choir, this is rare in our society today seeing men express their natural tenderness and playfulness with no holding back just being who they truly are.
It is a sad fact that we have allowed it to be uncommon for men to gather with an openness to appreciating and expressing the tenderness, sensitivity and playfulness that they naturally hold within. It is high time we all began to consider how we view men, and if we impose expectations that ask of them to negate the qualities they naturally hold within.
There is a further great reflection in what you’ve offered here Emily… In the fact that our current societal ways do not openly encourage the man to be all that he is – heart wide-open, unashamedly to the world and letting everyone into the depth of his care, his love, and indeed his greatness.
We all play our part in this status quo being as it is, and so it is worth all of us reflecting upon the way we hold each other in our everyday life, relationships and interactions. Are we ourselves the openness and loving beings we want to see in others? Great food for thought and ever-reflection… Thank-you Emily.
What a glorious celebration Emily – fantastic that you’ve shared this…
We are all the greater when we see others being openly themselves – and celebrating and enjoying the expression. Singing offers such an amazing opportunity to truly be ‘us’ and let the world into all that we have to share, from the depth of our hearts.
I agree – these men rocked it on all of these counts, and in doing so, offered us the most amazing beauty and glorious reflection, that is, that every single one of us can be so open, and sing, shout and celebrate it from the rooftops 🙂
When men choose to express their tenderness it is so gorgeous- the world craves this.
I agree Emily, the presentation from the men in black and the awesomeness that they expressed themselves in unison together was very inspiring. And if I remember correctly another man from the audience who loves Chris James’s music got up and joined them mid song, and was totally welcomed by all other men who moved to accommodate a space for him so he could fit in – with a warmth that made it look as if he had always been a part of the group.
It is very touching to see men being themselves, letting their tenderness and amazingness be seen and felt. Actually, women too. Just the other day, on my way home on a bus, I saw two men probably in their 30s working together to take down a flag from a pole and fold it neat, and the tenderness and the care I could see in the way they were moving to do the task while having fun and being light with each other, and the closeness and trust I could feel between these two work colleague was just beautiful to behold.
Gorgeous. I would love to have been there. What’s interesting though is since then, there has been a ripple effect around the globe where in the UK I now know many more men who are allowing themselves to express these divine qualities with each other and out in the world. Its so inspiring.
I know what you mean Emily, it makes men drop dead gorgeous when they let go and allow this tender childlike quality to be seen and stand and claim the power of it.
Absolutely Judith – I am in awe of the gorgeousness all men are whenever they walk in connection to their natural qualities within. When met by a man who is comfortable with his tenderness, walks in the power of who he is in essence, I feel met and held by the fire of Brotherhood.
Emily this was such a beautiful moment when the men were singing with such tenderness and harmony, it is not something we see everyday, so it was a great joy for us all to experience.
Gorgeous testimony Emily and I can feel how deeply touched and inspired you were, and how amazing it is to have men come together in their openness and tenderness and share themselves, and in this case with song too! This is indeed not common but is something all men have and can do, and each one who does this inspires another until eventually one day this will be a very common thing.
Such a beautiful testimony and so filled with appreciation. I dearly hope that the men get to read this and see what they brought to the audience.
It’s beautiful when we can be our natural selves and allow ourselves to be seen like that, not changing ourselves in any way for those we know might be watching. To be on a stage and singing and just being ourselves, you have painted a very relatable picture and one that is very inspiring. I also feel very touched when I witness men dropping the mores that they have grown up with and they show me that any perception I might have had about them being hard, dismissive or whatever is not who they truly are.
A gorgeously written blog of heartfelt appreciation Emily and I agree “It is so uncommon to see men working as one – with no competition and no championing, or trying to be ‘better’. They were up there, singing so beautifully together, and I was amazed.”
Men in their essence are every bit as beautiful as women. It’s sad in current society we’ve made men to be only tough and hard, when they are super tender and sensitive too.
“It is so uncommon to see men working as one – with no competition and no championing, or trying to be ‘better’. They were up there, singing so beautifully together, and I was amazed. I never knew men could be so awesome and open, and willing to let themselves be.” Gorgeous. Chris James is amazing in the way he supports everyone to open up, let go and sing from their hearts.
It is rare to see such publicly expressed care and tenderness between men let alone in mass like that, a true pleasure to behold and be inspired by…. and be embraced by what is possible between us.
The other beautiful thing about this event, if I recall correctly was that they were very welcoming of another man who felt to join them on stage, without being an official part of the choir. They all just move to create space for him and then very naturally and very beautifully shared song sheets to support him. Men being themselves, no competition. Super lovely to feel and reflect back on.
As a woman, I’m always super touched too when I see tenderness and connection between men. We often think of men as being so much tougher and rougher than us but it simply isn’t true. It sounds like a wonderful occasion.
Thank you Emily for sharing this. It certainly put a smile on my face feeling the joy of men who have come back to their tenderness, allowing themselves to freely express from that.
Thank you Emily, the conformation was felt by us as we sang together, and that feeling of loving support from the audience was amazing. Singing in a group with no agenda other than to be of service was what felt amazing to me as a man in black.
For more on singing go to;
http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=SINGING
Brilliant, bring back those blokes in black!
It is true we don’t often see men open and tender with each other let along anyone else. There is a power and strength in being tender and loving, such power that many men choose to shy away from. Knowing for myself the power in being truly loving and delicate with people around me has shown me the amazing power I have as an individual to make a difference and make my make on many modern men issues such as Domestic Violence. For if every man were tender and loving Domestic Violence wouldn’t exist, so why do push so hard to say men aren’t naturally or suppose to be tender and open?
Your appreciation and joy is palpable. I have also watched men on stage singing at a Universal Medicine events and I cried with joy to feel the quality of it and witness men being powerful, tender and playful. It was healing for me to be part of. My relationships with men are more true and deeper for it.
Not competing with each other, that’s the keyword for me with men. The moment I get to know a man I feel the instant checking: “is he a potential threat?” and then the connection doesn’t take place because only two protection shields bump into each other, hence the bumping on each others shoulders etc. As a man in true expression there is no protection shield, just a strong vulnerability and tenderness that invites everybody in.
So true, I have noticed and felt very strongly how men size each other up when they first meet and you are now expressing that the words “is he a potential threat?” came to mind. How different is it when men are just who they truly are and drop all that accumulated garbage; it takes courage though to just stand there in their awesome tenderness and vulnerability which is such an amazing strength.
I sounds like a wonderful time was had by not only the men on stage but also by those in the audience. Well done everyone and thank you Emily for providing me with this picture that has brought a smile to my face as I was reading your blog. Lots of little gems in there for us all to take notice of and for me the one I will take for today is to express joyfully with everything I have.
It sounds like these men laid down a way of being that we can build and expand on. I was going to say new, but realise it is not new, but has just laid dormant waiting for the right time and men to come along. Thanks for sharing this Emily it sounded wonderful.
It was truly amazing to see these ‘men in black’ performing with such tenderness and love, thank you for this beautiful reminder Emily.
If men can be like this on stage, imagine what potential there is in life if men were to live this each day with other men and woman in all they do.. Wow!
Thanks Emily, I wasn’t there but you have painted an awesome picture of the performance.
Thank you Emily for sharing the joy of witnessing the sensitivity and fun of the Men in Black choir. I could feel your ‘Wow’ as I read your blog appreciating a very special event. It is beautiful for men to open their hearts and share their true sensitive selves and allow themselves to be the loving, tender small boys they were and still are.
Could the divine expression of the ‘Men in black’ in fact lay the foundations to be the ‘new black’ for all men??
This is indeed inspiring to get more of those choirs happening!
Returning to this blog Emily I always feel uplifted and joyful , feeling a smile form on my face. Thank you.
Wonderful reminder of the “men in black” on stage- “They were like little children again, having so much fun without the grownup do’s and don’ts, with no restrictions”
Their joy and playfulness was palpable and it indeed put a big smile on my face too.
How beauty-full to see grown men being themselves, not needing to prove anything, or be perfect. Loved their tenderness and courage.
It is an event worth celebrating. It is also worth pondering why that there is not more experiences of men expressing with with playfulness.
Great point Joel, as a society we have stifled men’s natural expression preferring them to fit into our pictures instead of being who they truly are – no wonder so many men are having a hard time being in the world.
Emily, I can relate to the joy and appreciation you felt watching the Men in Black Choir. Seeing the men get on stage and sing at a Universal Medicine event last weekend was really something. I was touched by their sweetness and the way they sang with their hearts, just being themselves… no tough exterior.
I loved reading the deep appreciation you have for such a gorgeous moment that I will never forget. I don’t ever remember being so touched by seeing a group of men sing. There was such beauty in the way they were together, a strength in tenderness that brought tears to my eyes… so very different to the male bravado and rough and tough pack energy experienced when men usually come together – not even a hint of it in sight. A deeply beautiful moment to behold.
Emily the joy I can feel you have for these true men is so wonderful, and agree the open and natural tenderness of a man on display is very beautiful to experience.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful example of working together and inclusiveness and how confirming it can be to follow a true impulse.
Thank you for describing the power of men’s natural expression so beautifully Emily and for your heartfelt thanks to the Men in Black ‘for opening up, being tender and allowing me to see that all men are truly amazing’.
I love how you have shared this experience with us Emily, especially those of us who were unable to be there; I can feel the joy that you felt. I did though have a similar experience at one of Chris James’ combined choir practice a few years ago, when the men’s choir sang to the women who were there. As they sang, with such tenderness and love, the tissue box was passed up the rows, from woman to woman. A moment in time that I will never forget – men truly expressing their innate tenderness. So very beautiful!
A men’s revolution back to tenderness, just so beautiful.
This is beautiful Emily, thank you for sharing your experience of these tender loving men.
Thank you Emily for your blog. It has made me aware that I have never experienced this way of ‘BEING’ with any of the men in my life previously. It has exposed that the impression I have been holding has locked in this way of seeing and believing. Something has been exposed here and I feel amazing about going forward with a new openness and awareness around the fun, playful, heartfelt loving centres that are within all men just waiting to come out. Great Blog.
I loved your playfullness Emily and how you expressed the Joy you felt. The expression of Joy is so catchy. The unimposing delicate way it has touching people’s hearts. It is wonder there are not schools to bring back Joy !!
Sounds wonderful Emily. It’s beautiful to see men being playful and freely expressing their natural love and tenderness.
Yes Emily- they were amazing!- I remember seeing the Men in Black choir on stage swaying out of sync but it didn’t matter because the voices that came of their mouths was so exquisitely beautiful- harmonious, tender and loving. They were indeed a sight to see and hear. I had a smile from ear to ear, and felt so blessed to witness such tenderness and grace from men, which I never knew was possible.
Sounds like an amazing experience – your words paint a vivid picture and I can totally relate to watching children on stage being completely free and at ease, and can imagine how beautifully it would be to see men being the same – tender and open.
A beautiful expression of appreciation Emily. I agree that it is absolutely inspiring to see and feel when men allow themselves to be open, tender and playful, together, without competition. Seeing this did melt me as their joyful expression reverberated through song. Chris James and the Men in Black choir thank you for reflecting that there is another more joyful way for men to be and celebrate the gorgeousness of who they truly are.
How beautiful. I wasn’t there, but from the picture you painted, I can feel how amazing it was. And how incredible for this group of men to be able to express with such tenderness up on stage.
Thank you Emily for acknowledging this standout event. I was deeply touched seeing the men all together on stage and could feel each and everyone of them as the beautiful men that they are.
It surely was a great expression of love and tenderness displayed that day as the men in black we were , thanks for the awesome confirmation of what was lived and felt by all.
I agree. I absolutely love to watch men being truly loving and sensitive. I does feel amazing.
Gorgeous Emily. Reading your blog transported me back to that day and you covered exactly the true beauty of what we were presented with by the choir. The loving looks between the men said it all – how incredibly liberating and amazing it is to be able to be a real man and express true love with a brother, with no connotations of anything other that true connection. The singing was awesome and the beauty of the experience had tears of joy pouring down my face. Extraordinary. Well played Chris James and the MEN!
Emily, I wasn’t there in person, but I was smiling and felt joy in my body just from reading your blog. I think it is special also that it has been a couple of years since this event but the magic of what these men produced is still being felt.
I agree Emily that most men struggle with an image or role that society tells them they must be or subscribe to and this creates a huge tension inside them because deep down they know it does not feel right. And this comes out as a hardness and guardedness. This is how it has been for me anyway. But simply connecting to that natural gentleness and tenderness within, and beginning to understand that this is in fact normal and natural for a man to express in this way is so liberating.
I never fitted into the role model of the tough, hard and competing guy that modern society so often does portray. That has made me have quite some self-doubt for the majority of my life. Through the inspiration of Universal Medicine I actually could see and feel that all that I had felt and known deep inside of me was 100% true: I am incredibly gentle, loving, caring and tender. Now it’s about letting this out into the world to be seen and be inspired by.
Fantastic Michael. As more men are able to do this, the ripple effects become larger and larger as then more and more men are given a different example of what a man can be.
Thanks for the reminder Emily! It was a very beautiful occasion and a joyful one too. Reading your blog and the other comments too there are some heart string pulling moments that I will never forget either, the lovely harmonies and Chris James pulling it all together, memories are made of this.
As I read your blog I recall watching the men in the choir and I have a huge smile on my face. For men to be themselves on stage, letting go of stereotypes and what they should look like, is true courage and confidence.
Yes, the men in black were a sight to behold and each individual was a study in joy. It was great.
Absolutely it is “true courage and confidence” however the beautiful part is that it is also absolutely natural and reflective of who men truly are!
Thanks Emily, it was a lovely event to see men in their own tenderness and fragility all expressing their love to all. A very palpable experience.
I was not there Emily but feel like I was from your wonderful writing. Tender men allowing the purity of the boy out for all to see and hear – it’s what the world needs right now.
Clearly people are calling out for tender men
Yes. Men and women.
Thanks Emily for sharing what you felt and saw that day -The Men in Black were definety on fire , and Chris James is an amazing singer ,and musician that can help bring out the best in all the people that he works with both nationally and internationally , proving the fact that we are all born with a beautiful voice that is there to express our awesomeness.
Beautiful! I wasn’t there to see The Men In Black performance, but I have experienced men truly expressing, singing joyfully at a workshop held and run by Chris James’s and yes, it is a wow factor. Feeling and hearing men in their tenderness made me melt.
We watched it from the UK via webcast and you’re right Emily it was truly amazing.
It sounded like an amazing night with so much fun and playfullness….and what a wonderful reflection from the men in black choir for all the men in the room and for all the women too… it is delightful and joyful when men show their tender, playful side.
Sounds like an amazing event, thank you Emily for sharing so beautifully the observations and feelings you had during the performance of the Men in Black Choir.
Yes, it was wonderful!
So Beautiful, thanks for sharing this Emily.
Emily you write in such a delightful way, so wonderfully enthusiastic. Your line about all men being like The Men in Black was a head spinning moment for me as I had been feeling up until that point a bit disappointed that I don’t know any men like the ones you described. But of course you’re right all men have the potential to be all that The Men in Black are and more. I can see that if my view of men is more open and less limting then that in turn helps them to actually be freed up to change.
Thank you Emily for your blog, beautifully expressed.
I remember the day the mens choir sang, it was truly beautiful to feel the love and tenderness they were. A real difference to what I had seen men to be in the past before coming to Universal Medicine.
Yes, very true. I watched it. The truth is that being part of a choir is indeed a lot of fun and gives you a feeling of brotherhood and an incredible freedom to be you. That is where the tenderness and beauty that you felt comes from. It is also true that observe a bunch of tender men is still pretty much unseen. So, beautiful and very confirming.
It’s a gorgeous thing to behold I agree Emily. This playful way of being is like an antidote to the super-serious hardness we’ve let ourselves believe was ‘manly’ up until now. Great to know you feel it as I do. Playfulness is such a sweet sound to hear.
Thank you Emily, what a gift to remember this event and the Men in Black. You sum it up so well as it was a momentous occasion and life-changing for the men involved, when were not professional singers, but got past their fear of singing in public, got on stage, and sang their sweet tender song in their fullness. And for the audience it was also a momentous occasion to feel and see the mens transformation and the love and tenderness they had with each other.
Thanks Emily I can feel the joy in your story, and you are right we all do have the tenderness and playfulness within us that you saw in the Men in Black.
Wow…I’m sorry I missed it!
I was there too Emily and it was every bit as delightfully playful and inspiring as you say. These men have set a new standard for all others. For other men to know it is ok to be themselves, to drop their guard and show their tenderness and for women to drop their judgements and let them be. Bravo Chris James and Juzzie Smith and The Men In Black Choir
There is so much aliveness, honest sharing and expression in your blog Emily, I almost feel I was there too. Yes seeing a man in his natural tenderness and no put on show is very powerful and deeply touching. From there it is easy to realise that ALL men are naturally like that, full of tenderness – although they may not choose to express, live or be like that for whatever reason. This realisation has totally changed for me how I relate to them.
It’s a scary thing to get up there and sing when everything in your head tells you don’t do it because it’s going to hurt. You think, people won’t like you or they’ll laugh at you or think you’re a girl. But from what I have seen, ALL guys have that tender place inside them, just that some of us are too hurt to risk showing it. It is most definitely there and in all of us.
I was brought to tears by this choir and all that Emily has shared was my experience. Something as simple as a mens choir can be so profound for us all.
I didn’t see that broadcast, but there was a similar choir at a Chris James retreat in Germany. All the men were singing’ yes we are tender men’. It was so beautiful and touching and a statement to break the concepts about how men should be. Very healing for all of us.