My Relationship with Work: Choosing to be All of Me

by Janina Koch, Cologne, Germany (English second language)

Coming back from having an amazing time in England with Serge Benhayon, his family and many esoteric students, I feel it’s time to write about my relationship with work, and about the beliefs I held onto for a very long time – which have stopped me from joyfully living and working.

I started working in my first real great paid job when I was 30, as I studied for quite a long time Sociology. I worked in an office as a human resource administrator looking after some of the employees.

The job was interesting, my colleagues friendly, really nothing to complain about, being paid really a lot. But somehow I felt I just played a role in a movie I didn’t really want to be in. I always had resistance to work; I saw it as a duty, something that took away time from me so that in the end of a working day I felt to not have time left for me. Really, I believed that only when I was not at work I could be me, with me, and doing what I really wanted to do, not having to function in a certain way. I worked one year in this job, then I got chronic shoulder pain which led to problems, and in the end, my contract wasn’t renewed and I was very glad about it. But I also had problems with my boss because of being sick for a few months, and that was also the start of a series of repeating patterns. It was the start of me causing complications/problems which always led to getting the sack or choosing to leave from many other jobs which followed.

I thought that because people were busy, and working all the time, that it was the reason that they weren’t joyful: I blamed the ‘doing’ and the ‘being busy’. But this was not true; this is what I realize now.

When I didn’t work, or only worked a little, I wasn’t joyful to be with me – I didn’t feel content within myself. I blamed work for this. But I have since learnt that it is the choice to be loving with myself, allowing myself to be me and in connection with my body, which makes all the difference. I am learning “to be me” also when I do things – not to go into function mode and to switch off my feelings, believing that’s the only way to do things.

I realise that I am responsible for everything which is happening in my life!

Before this, I loved to blame anything and anyone, big time.

Now I know that if things don’t work – I am responsible for it. As I really didn’t want to work, for a long time I tried to have an easy time at work as much as I could – which led to problems too (of course). Even if things were running fine I found other things to complicate the situation…(really creative).

Now, as I have discovered more of my loving, tender essence, I have experienced that it is possible to go to work connected to me, and in knowing I can be there and not lose me in this I have a new commitment to being at work!  But this is still very new… and even if people are behaving in a non-loving way I can accept it and to let them be and not react. And yes, it is possible to be joyfully working – if I allow myself to be joyfully me.

Since coming back from England, where I attended Universal Medicine presentations, I feel full of me: I feel that it’s great to bring my joyful way to work and light up my workplace. And I have realised that it is not my work which stops me from shining, but the way I am with myself and how I still choose unloving ways to stop me from being amazing. I realize more and more what depths of beauty I am – we all are – and just need to let it out. It is actually simple.

For me to feel great, it is very important to eat in a very loving way and to choose carefully what to eat – as one of my ways of not dealing with what is going on is to eat foods that make me feel dull. I am learning that also the way I eat is as important as what I choose to eat! And I have realised that yes, I can deal with the things which are going on in my life.

Since making changes within myself, I am more willing to work. And the more work I get offered, I don’t even have to look for it.  Since last year I work for a family doing the household tasks and looking after a 20 month old girl – which is a challenge, like juggling several things at the same time.

Recently I have developed a really tender, loving way with her which is amazing. She is much less moody with me, and it feels very easy to be with her.

The other day I went with her shopping. On the way, I started to play with some tones (singing), and I discovered a new tone I haven’t used before… something like ri ri ri – I had so much joy playing with these sounds it was really great, and the girl loved to join in and giggled along with me. What a joy to be/work with children. Through choosing to just be myself at work, I have realised how much fun it can be! And, that I actually love work, because I have begun to love me.

588 thoughts on “My Relationship with Work: Choosing to be All of Me

    1. Joseph Barker I agree with you when we live in a reduced state the energy that controls us will always have us feeling less. It wants to drag us down, so it has control over us. What I now understand is that you cannot fight this energy but surrender to knowing that we are much more than we can ever imagine, if we let go.

  1. ” I actually love work, because I have begun to love me.” It shows that everything starts with how we are with ourselves. We can use these outside relationships to look back on how we are with ourself and change it.

    1. What is our relationship like with ourself? ‘the choice to be loving with myself, allowing myself to be me and in connection with my body, which makes all the difference.’

  2. It is great when we are able to finally see this ‘I realise that I am responsible for everything which is happening in my life!’ then we can appreciate all the amazing things that are happening and also take responsibility and change anything that is not great, especially in relationships.

  3. We want to cheat creation but we try so hard at getting a better deal out of it, asking it to reciprocate and reward us, then the question arises – who are we working for, ultimately?

  4. Where I live, we have a system that does not support nor treat workers with due respect, and at the same time, we are witnessing the decline in the level of commitment in work places and the quality of services on offer is suffering big time. I wonder which came first. And while we are at it, there are people who end up working ridiculously long and hard hours until they literally drop dead. The current form of education and parenting does not prepare us for life. We are manufacturing generations of robots that would simply follow the order with no question, just willingly getting played by the drama of creation high and low, just to keep fueling this crazy circus to keep its loop going.

    1. Fumiyo you have summed up our lives very well, we have become robots and the highlight of our day is the dramas that play out. It’s incredible to imagine that we are Gods playing un Gods, it just doesn’t make any sense to me why we would do this, yet we do. It’s the worst addiction in the world.

  5. Our relationship with work is a very interesting topic. For many, work is simply about security, it pays for our living, and some become very driven to be recognized and rewarded, and some feel resentful and hold themselves back from work. There’s hardly any joy in either camp. It’s no surprising how we have got a very warped idea about purpose in life and overall lack of commitment when we grow up thinking housework is a chore someone else should take care of and not our own responsibility, and develop an attitude that says work means doing something that we don’t like doing. And when we hold ourselves back from being engaged in life, we are eating ourselves up from inside. It is a dis-ease.

  6. When we choose to live all of who we are then we actually employ the Heavens. When we are truly connected to ourselves then we become funnels for God, God can and does literally pour through us. But when we are not choosing to be all of who we truly are then the pearly gates are closed, access barred.

  7. I always love to read this, thank you Janina, it’s very relevant for the whole world what you have shared. Work, study, and even work at home like chores, can be seen as that thing we have to get done so we can get it out of the way and go back to being ourselves. What you are sharing is that it’s not what’s going on in life (being at work or at home) that determines how we feel, but how we treat ourselves. “And I have realised that it is not my work which stops me from shining, but the way I am with myself and how I still choose unloving ways to stop me from being amazing.”.

    1. How we treat ourselves, and how we do what we do, are always important, ‘I am learning “to be me” also when I do things – not to go into function mode and to switch off my feelings, believing that’s the only way to do things.’

  8. Working is such a great way to reflect the love we can all be, and as reflection is our greatest form of communication, then just being with people is so simple. It takes away any pressure or judgement, as all we have to do is simply be ourselves in connection to our essence.

    1. Even though work life and home life are different on the surface we can make it about one life, about living the same loving and soulful quality across all of life.

      1. Absolutely Melinda, this would be a magical way of existing that would continually be evolving for all those who choose to live a soulfully active life, and thus all our movement would be a reflection of our soul.

      2. Thanks for the reminder that it is about living one life, living in a loving and soulful quality across all of life.

  9. No task is tedious, it is the way we are while doing the task, the way we move and the way we hold ourselves. If we are loving and tender, so will the task feel loving and tender, if we’re harsh and angry so will the task feel harsh and jagged.

    1. It is how we are as we do things, the way we move, being present, loving and tender, all make a big difference, ‘ I have realised that it is not my work which stops me from shining, but the way I am with myself and how I still choose unloving ways to stop me from being amazing.’

  10. The days when I come back from work and say I really enjoyed myself today are the days when I have been myself and felt the love that I am and shared that with everyone.

  11. “My Relationship with Work: Choosing to be All of Me” – to result in truly loving our job or what we do for a living and where there is no hint of an imposter.

  12. The entire experience, attitude and sentiment about our work or the jobs we do are based on how we are feeling in the body that comes from the way we are living our life and the quality of that particular livingness. So we could say there is nothing the matter with the job itself, only with ourselves and the way we live that matters and is the matter that we need to deal with first.

  13. A lovely realisation that being joyful or not has nothing to do with work but how we are with ourselves. If we feel joyful we will be playful and joyful at work too, likewise if we are not feeling the joy, work becomes tedious and our days at work feel really long.

  14. The quality in which we live and how we feel about ourselves is reflected all around us, especially at work because the more we are in our natural flow the easier work is.

  15. If you start loving yourself, work, actually anything becomes joyful: then the question is, what can I do more? Because we cannot cruise on the feeling of just loving ourselves. It has to be brought back to humanity.

  16. Could you imagine workplaces around the world if more people had this realisation – “And I have realised that it is not my work which stops me from shining, but the way I am with myself and how I still choose unloving ways to stop me from being amazing.” It would shine pretty brightly and productivity would be through the roof.

    1. If we only knew just how much we were controlled by the thoughts we have which are not our thoughts at all, but are pouring through us by an unseen energy that is unseen because we have dropped our awareness to it. This unseen energy dictates to us how we are to be. If we really sat with this and unpicked the plot we would all realise just how much we are being played.

  17. Our work life is just as important as our home life and we need to commit with equal integrity to both – maybe that is the vital ingredient we are not appreciating enough in the work life balance equation.

  18. I love how you realised that it’s about the connection that you nurture and commit to whilst at work (and in all areas of life) that makes the difference and not blaming work for how you feel.

  19. If we are not truly happy with our life and conform, if we don’t care ourselves, if we blame others because things get wrong…how do we can work in a responsible way? what are we going to bring at work, at home, at school…? Maybe resentment, sadness, unwillingness…but surely not the best of us that is love.

  20. Yesterday I realized that I love working because I love life and being me, it feels gorgeous, very tender and joyful. Embracing myself in every task makes my days very enjoyable and rich. Definitiely we are here to stay present in the world, bringing our all in everything we do.

  21. Not just work but school or household chores too—we may check out and not be there when we are doing it then afterwards we feel we have wasted time on it and wanted more me time, but that does not help. Only bringing our presence to each moment would make a difference in how we feel, the choice is in commitment.

  22. Commitment to life in full is truly amazing and joyful it is saying that every little bit of ourselves is so precious and worthy and I want to give it all my full attention.

  23. When we commit to life in full, there is no part of the equation that can be dull for how can it be when it is our all in constant communication with the All it is a part of?

  24. We are being played if we think that work is something we ‘have to do’ rather than it being what it can be in truth and that is – an extension of who we are, applied in practice.

  25. What becomes very clear when reading this is that it is not so much the relationship with work you worked on but the relationship with yourself. This shows that we can all have the power to bring change to our workplace and are not dependant on where we work and what we do.

  26. ‘I love work because I have begun to love me’ … that changes everything in how we see things and the fact that really, it’s about how we are with us in each and every moment and each and every thing, connected to us, feeling how we are and being honest with it, without perfection and simply allowing ourselves to be us first in all we do. The secret to joy is living us.

  27. Work can teach us so much about ourselves and how humanity feels about work. Things play out at work just as they do at home – which gives us plenty of opportunities to grow.

  28. Well this statement – “And I have realised that it is not my work which stops me from shining, but the way I am with myself” – turns everything on its head. This is defintely not considered the norm in terms of how we think about our work. You are leading the way, keep shining in full and reflecting to others that there is another way to be in work.

  29. When we commit to work, or whatever it is we’re doing, in full, we actually feel more energised instead of drained. The drained feeling comes from that lagging procrastination, which makes us feel tired. Amazing to experiment with because what we’re capable of is so much more than we can imagine.

    1. With respect to commitment to work, it is interesting to see what positions we choose to work in. Do we choose a position we can do easily, become old with and retire in, or do we chose positions that ask all of us, as well as to move on when we have reached the limits of the job?

  30. We often go to work and bring all of our worries with us, the arguments at home, the financial insecurities and all the rest of it. As a society, we have forgotten the purpose of our work and that it is to serve the rest of our fellow citizens. Whether we are working as a receptionist, shop owner, CEO or cleaner – in our work place we are of service to the business and all people involved.

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