by Dragana Brown, London, UK
There is a beautifully written article on the Women in Livingness blog, by Kyla Plummer – (Sex, Drugs and Making Love). She is awesomely honest and open about her experiences of sex, drugs and making love (the only part left out was rock-n’-roll)!
In that written piece I came across a line that spoke back very strongly and clearly to me. I realised that I was, or rather that I still am at times, one of those many, to borrow Kyla’s words … “who have experienced similar things – craving love, touch, appreciation, connection – and not knowing my own self-worth”.
It was this ‘self-worth’ in particular that kept echoing through my head, heart and soul. Although the English Dictionary describes this double-barrelled word as a noun, I would say it is a verb too. Re-learning to self-worth has been a huge piece of my work and it is still in progress. Infinitely inspired initially by Serge Benhayon, and later Simone Benhayon, it started however, with (at least) a possibility, if not the deep inner knowing, that I was worthy of love like no other (note: not that I am different to others, but that the love for self comes first). This made me aware how I used to think that I should accept and settle down with what I thought I deserved – read: NOT much and certainly NOT love. I used to (and at times still occasionally do now) talk to myself in a way that if that were somebody else talking to me, I would have said goodbye to the person long ago!
Esoteric Women’s Presentations and Esoteric Women’s Developers Groups, with Natalie Benhayon and Sara Williams, have inspired me to explore the power of deepening my relationship and love for self; to such a level that I would (at least) want to do anything that I knew would make this connection heartfelt, and to say NO to what does not belong to my newly re-discovered true self-regard milieu.
I became aware that not only do I love life, but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself. The deeper my love for myself, the more the universe (or call it God if you like) affirms my worth. I now know that slowly but surely this is how I can enjoy a lifelong love ‘affair’ which brings the fulfillment and contentment from inside out, and not from outside in.
Thank you Serge Benhayon, Simone Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon and Sara Williams from the depths of that amazing muscle organ which pumps blood throughout the body.