Re-Learning to Self-Worth

by Dragana Brown, London, UK 

There is a beautifully written article on the Women in Livingness blog, by Kyla Plummer – (Sex, Drugs and Making Love). She is awesomely honest and open about her experiences of sex, drugs and making love (the only part left out was rock-n’-roll)!

In that written piece I came across a line that spoke back very strongly and clearly to me. I realised that I was, or rather that I still am at times, one of those many, to borrow Kyla’s words … “who have experienced similar things – craving love, touch, appreciation, connection – and not knowing my own self-worth”.

It was this ‘self-worth’ in particular that kept echoing through my head, heart and soul. Although the English Dictionary describes this double-barrelled word as a noun, I would say it is a verb too. Re-learning to self-worth has been a huge piece of my work and it is still in progress. Infinitely inspired initially by Serge Benhayon, and later Simone Benhayon, it started however, with (at least) a possibility, if not the deep inner knowing, that I was worthy of love like no other  (note: not that I am different to others, but that the love for self comes first). This made me aware how I used to think that I should accept and settle down with what I thought I deserved – read: NOT much and certainly NOT love. I used to (and at times still occasionally do now) talk to myself in a way that if that were somebody else talking to me, I would have said goodbye to the person long ago!

Esoteric Women’s Presentations and Esoteric Women’s Developers Groups, with Natalie Benhayon and Sara Williams, have inspired me to explore the power of deepening my relationship and love for self; to such a level that I would (at least) want to do anything that I knew would make this connection heartfelt, and to say NO to what does not belong to my newly re-discovered true self-regard milieu.

I became aware that not only do I love life, but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself. The deeper my love for myself, the more the universe (or call it God if you like) affirms my worth. I now know that slowly but surely this is how I can enjoy a lifelong love ‘affair’ which brings the fulfillment and contentment from inside out, and not from outside in.

Thank you Serge Benhayon, Simone Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon and Sara Williams from the depths of that amazing muscle organ which pumps blood throughout the body.

542 thoughts on “Re-Learning to Self-Worth

  1. It’s a huge thing to develop our relationship to ourselves and feel how we treat ourselves. Often we have a standard so low for how we think about, speak to, and treat ourselves that we definitely wouldn’t accept it from another. Yet we can hurt and abuse ourselves as a kind of daily norm, so it’s great to explore this and consider that we can let all that go and simply return to self love.

  2. We go through life settling and accepting less than what we feel is true, so as adults it takes time to rebuild this worth and to learn to appreciate ourselves for who we are and not what we do.

  3. I hear you Dragana and what I have come to realise is that there are many layers and subtle ones at that which keep popping up and a deeper letting go is required. When I do, the knowing and claiming of Love that is available to us all equally just gets stronger and stronger

  4. Without self-worth, we are only functioning at best, and there is no end of situations that we will say yes to without an ounce of realisation as to why we have said yes. Many years ago Serge Benhayon presented to me to build self-worth to the bone, and I am still working on this.

  5. We are worth every millisecond of love and care (still learning that one) and everyone else reaps the benefits.

  6. My life and my purpose in life changed for the greater when I discovered that a ‘lifelong love affair’ with my Soul is not only possible but is what truly defines all that I am and all that we are part of. Inspired deeply by The Ageless Wisdom Teachings as lived and presented by Serge Benhayon, this quality of connection is something I now choose to religiously live every day as the wonder and power of love that is there to explore is something I know and can feel is what we all deserve to live.

  7. So self-worth is not a doing or gaining but an understanding and accepting of the grandness we are. In other words claiming ourselves in full.

  8. It is by virtue of our connection to our truth and love, where we feel that we are part of a greater whole. Where there is no such thing as division. Equally there is a depth of purity that is beyond words. As you shared above, it is wise to open up to our universe and see all its colours and dimensions, for we are from that. It is the expression of God we are from.

  9. ‘Life loves me back and it wants me to nurture myself’ – yes. When we start loving and taking deeper care of ourselves we are supported in many ways – but it’s us that has to take that first step, affirming our own sense of self worth. This is one of the greatest things I’ve learned through Universal Medicine: that taking care of myself increases my sense of self worth, which is brilliant because no one else can do this for me, and so my relationship with myself is directly dependent on my own choices: I can go as fast or as slowly as I want, no dictation, no imposition, all up to me. And no one can take that sense of self worth away: only I can either deny or dismiss, or accept and affirm it.

  10. What if it was more selfish to not have self worth and to not self care in the sense that what are we bringing to others when we are in such a quality of lack of self worth and self care. It surely does not support others to self-care and have self worth for themselves!

  11. Not expecting life and people to reflect my own worth actually means that it comes from how I hold and respect myself first. When I do that there can be much support from life that can flow.

  12. For many, many years I thought that my self-worth came from how much others valued and accepted me, but since attending the Universal Medicine Presentations I have come to realise that this is a divine quality that I was born with, and that I once lived. It is now a matter of establishing a foundation of deep love for myself and from there my self-worth will blossom once again.

  13. I wholeheartedly understand your gratitude towards everything that Serge Benhayon and his family offers and reflects. Without them, I would never be at the stage of my life that I am now. Not because they did something miraculous, but because they reflected me a different, more truthful way, that I was open to. It is still my choice what I accept and what I choose – their consistent way of love though was the best supporter ever and I am pretty sure will be forever.

  14. What I hear from your blog Dragana is how solid your foundations are becoming in terms of self worth, love and respect. Imagine trying to build a house with no understructure or base – it simply wouldn’t work, and would likely fall down! When we don’t have a foundation of self worth this is how life can feel – uncertain, shaky and unstable.

  15. I feel I may have followed another route, as I probably had some sense that I was worthy of love (albeit emotional love with a small “l”) but I drowned in the sadness of not having received it, and a whole neediness thing along the way. I have come to learn that I am Love already, and that if I connect to that truth I can share all the Love that I am without needing from anyone else.

  16. Thank you for sharing – love the way you go about how we can life in regards to living from self-worth. This way was first presented to me by Natalie Benhayon – and it was the most real thing I had ever heard. To actually self-care, self- nurture and self- love to come back to the worth we are naturally.

  17. I have always held this belief that I did not deserve, and there is still a thread of that running as I feel this capping of myself lately, almost feeling tied down unable to move. Having been brought up a catholic, I can feel I have taken this belief on from the catholic church, time to clear this energy from my body.

  18. I am with you Dragana, self worth is an activity or verb to describe confirming and living from who we truly are.

  19. I love the title of the blog, as re-learning to self- worth is definitely what needs to happen. We start off in life with lots of worth, in fact it is as unquestionable as a bird’s ability to fly. We then receive messages from all directions telling us to tone it down, doubt ourselves and feel inadequate or superior to others. I find this loss is related to the loss of our connection to our body. Once we reclaim that and all it can share with us, we are well on the road back to our natural knowing of our worth.

  20. This contentment we feel from inside nourishes us on so many levels, being content with ourselves and our bodies, being content with life and all its reflections and learnings that come to help us grow and expand, means that whatever life presents to us, we know we have everything we need to deal with it.

  21. ‘I became aware that not only do I love life, but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself’. This part we tend to forget.. the part that life loves us back, or put another way, life has our ‘back’, and when we are open to growing and learning, life delivers all we need.

    1. Sometimes I have been delivered just what I needed and yet I have allowed doubt and suspicion to deny that offering. This is really a lack of commitment to life and a stubborn pride from the spirit getting in the way of a natural unfolding path. This is a delaying tactic but there is no escaping continual learning situations that support us on our way. When we honour who we are we have a clearer ability to read situations and as we build our foundation of self love and self worth we are more likely to accept what we know is true even if it does not fit a picture we might have previously held.

  22. I get a sense of how I thought self-worth was something I needed to build, cultivate, earn, and in that I was already denying my worth. From your sharing, it feels to me that self-worth comes when we deeply connect and accept the truth of who we are.

  23. I have craved love, connection, touch, appreciation and not knowing my own self-worth all my life. In fact, this is what was the only thing that eventually drove me. I dropped all my responsibility, especially appreciating all that I was, and chased the image of being met. I refused to meet myself. I have learnt life is just about this. You’re either appreciating in every minute all that is on offer and therefore what you offer OR you are not. You cannot think you are or earn it – you are or you are not.

  24. Children don’t have issues with self-worth. What if living loving ourselves in full is the most natural and simple way of being? When I have an issue with my worth maybe I just have to make a stop and remember whenever I’ve felt content, solid, joyful, present and so beautiful just by being in my body. This is a choice to make in every moment, nothing exclusive for a few but for all, as we all are the same precious human beings full of love.

  25. Dragana thanks for being so real and honest. I can relate very much in every line of what you shared. My self-talking is not always loving, but how great being aware of that to say NO to the self-judgment that has permeated my expression through almost the whole of my life. I feel very rich today for the life that I have, the ongoing process in the relationship with myself, the support and inspiration from Universal Medicine that I always receive…definitely there is so much to appreciate and celebrate from inside out.

  26. For many, life is to be endured, and it is rare to read that someone loves life and that it is loving them back. Self-love can work miracles.

  27. “I became aware that not only do I love life, but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself. The deeper my love for myself, the more the universe (or call it God if you like) affirms my worth. I now know that slowly but surely this is how I can enjoy a lifelong love ‘affair’ which brings the fulfillment and contentment from inside out, and not from outside in.” these words speak volumes to me, today I know and feel the grandness of the offering in these words( they give me permission to be all that i am and can be ) thank you Dragana

    1. I appreciate very much the support that sharings like this can be. We were not educated to deeply appreciate ourselves for who we really are so messages like this are very needed, to truly re-learn self-worth in our everyday living.

  28. Self worth is something we have to claim back into our own hands. Whatever anyone else says it is our own inner talk that usually wins. Continually bringing our focus back to the body whether it be the quality in which we move or the way that we walk, our posture or aligning to “True Movement” or “Sacred Movement”, practising Esoteric Yoga, there are so many ways to reconnect and bring us to a deeper love and respect for ourselves.

  29. It’s so important in life to know you are worth everything, and that every movement from when we wake up to when we put ourselves to bed either confirms and builds that worth or destroys it. Our self worth is a choice we have to make every moment.

  30. ‘The deeper my love for myself, the more the universe (or call it God if you like) affirms my worth’. I read this sentence several times, to allow the full understanding of the wisdom I feel on reading this.

  31. ‘I now know that slowly but surely this is how I can enjoy a lifelong love ‘affair’ which brings the fulfillment and contentment from inside out, and not from outside in.’ I love the word ‘contentment’ in this line. I don’t know why I love it so much but it oozes out a feeling of acceptance within and at the same time a willingness to move forward in our evolution

  32. “I became aware that not only do I love life, but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself.” This is a beautiful realisation and something to treasure and know in every moment of our life.

  33. Building true self-worth is the key in life, for this is a foundation from which we can express in everything we do. True self-worth is also very needed as a preventative to buckle during times when we are challenged by life’s intensities.

  34. “I now know that slowly but surely this is how I can enjoy a lifelong love ‘affair’ which brings the fulfillment and contentment from inside out, and not from outside in.” Beautifully summed up, it is building this connection we have with inside of us that is key to living a life of true fulfilment and contentment.

    1. I was just about to write a comment on the same quote, though I was also going to include, “I became aware that not only do I love life, but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself. The deeper my love for myself, the more the universe (or call it God if you like) affirms my worth,” as for me realisation that the more I love myself and life, so I am loved back, which then results in the inner contentment.

  35. ‘Life wants me to nurture myself’ – this is awesome, I hadn’t thought of it like this before, but it’s true: are we waiting for the universe to show us it has our backs and is supporting us, or are we truly, deeply and totally committed to loving and supporting ourselves first, which then naturally allows in the support that is right there, waiting for us to accept it.

  36. I was first introduced to the aspect of “self-worth” and that there is actually a way of living and being that holds this self-worth for you. This has supported me and given me a huge sense of trust that we can actually live from a deeper love that comes from within yourself.

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