Re-Learning to Self-Worth

by Dragana Brown, London, UK 

There is a beautifully written article on the Women in Livingness blog, by Kyla Plummer – (Sex, Drugs and Making Love). She is awesomely honest and open about her experiences of sex, drugs and making love (the only part left out was rock-n’-roll)!

In that written piece I came across a line that spoke back very strongly and clearly to me. I realised that I was, or rather that I still am at times, one of those many, to borrow Kyla’s words … “who have experienced similar things – craving love, touch, appreciation, connection – and not knowing my own self-worth”.

It was this ‘self-worth’ in particular that kept echoing through my head, heart and soul. Although the English Dictionary describes this double-barrelled word as a noun, I would say it is a verb too. Re-learning to self-worth has been a huge piece of my work and it is still in progress. Infinitely inspired initially by Serge Benhayon, and later Simone Benhayon, it started however, with (at least) a possibility, if not the deep inner knowing, that I was worthy of love like no other  (note: not that I am different to others, but that the love for self comes first). This made me aware how I used to think that I should accept and settle down with what I thought I deserved – read: NOT much and certainly NOT love. I used to (and at times still occasionally do now) talk to myself in a way that if that were somebody else talking to me, I would have said goodbye to the person long ago!

Esoteric Women’s Presentations and Esoteric Women’s Developers Groups, with Natalie Benhayon and Sara Williams, have inspired me to explore the power of deepening my relationship and love for self; to such a level that I would (at least) want to do anything that I knew would make this connection heartfelt, and to say NO to what does not belong to my newly re-discovered true self-regard milieu.

I became aware that not only do I love life, but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself. The deeper my love for myself, the more the universe (or call it God if you like) affirms my worth. I now know that slowly but surely this is how I can enjoy a lifelong love ‘affair’ which brings the fulfillment and contentment from inside out, and not from outside in.

Thank you Serge Benhayon, Simone Benhayon, Natalie Benhayon and Sara Williams from the depths of that amazing muscle organ which pumps blood throughout the body.

489 thoughts on “Re-Learning to Self-Worth

  1. The more we nurture and love ourselves, the greater our self-worth becomes, and the more we are able to truly love life with all that is reflected back, each reflection gives us a new opportunity to deepen our self-love and our self-worth.

  2. Developing our relationship with our essence is the gateway to deeper levels of love that we can ever imagine, as it is only then that we realise we are all knowing sons of God.

  3. ‘…not only do I love life, but that life loves me back..’ This is a gorgeous awareness and one that rings true – the science of reflection is inescapable and life is constantly reflecting the quality of what we live back to us.

  4. ‘I became aware that not only do I love life, but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself’. This is a very power statement and the truth of it oozes out for us all to feel. We overlook our own beauty and amazingness, it is not life or another person – we are amazing and it is time we brought the love to ourselves that we all deserve.

  5. A lack of self-worth is so prevalent for the vast majority of us. In my case I used to be rock bottom with it, not feeling I had any value to offer and that I was literally ‘worthless’! Through the inspiration of Universal Medicine and the entire Benhayon family I have come to know myself and absolutely feel my value in relation to the whole by my expression and what I bring. My sense of worth has done a gigantic U turn and life has taken a whole new perspective.

  6. Without self-worth we have no true foundation in which to live, relate to others or even begin to support another in their way through life…

  7. “I used to (and at times still occasionally do now) talk to myself in a way that if that were somebody else talking to me, I would have said goodbye to the person long ago!” This is something to reflect upon every now and then, to stop and take note how we treat ourselves and if we would have another treat ourselves this way. We all deserve to be treated super lovingly, and it takes some dedication to make this our everyday living.

  8. This is a great call back to responsibility, to realise that the way we treat ourselves sets the level of our own worth, that may be why it’s called “self-worth”!

  9. Self-worth is certainly a verb, and a verb that I did not know existed, meaning that didn’t self love myself at all. To self-worth is the foundation to be able to love myself, and to be able to love others as well.

  10. Without self-worth we will instead act to fill that void at all costs, which history has shown is not pretty…

  11. This blog today invites me to look at where I am at with regards to my own self-worth which has always been hugely in lack. Although my self-worth has been developed over the years, it does feel there is more for me to claim in regards to knowing deeply that I deserve and that I am worthy of love.

  12. This is a beautiful thing to realize . . . . “I became aware that not only do I love life, but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself. The deeper my love for myself, the more the universe (or call it God if you like) affirms my worth.” . . . for life is a reflection and what we put out there we ultimately get reflected back to us, so what a great reflection.

    1. ‘for life is a reflection and what we put out there we ultimately get reflected back to us’, a timely reminder Kathleen, of course life is a reflection and if we don’t like the reflection, all we have to do is make different choices – choices that deepen our sense of self-worth and self-love.

  13. ‘Re-learning to self-worth has been a huge piece of my work and it is still in progress.’ This is true for me too. have been buying a new car for some time now and realise how I have been keeping myself from buying an expensive car because I some how feel that I don’t deserve it. I love that you use self worth as a verb because it reminds me that in every moment I can be in the process of valuing myself and allowing an ever deepening quality to my life.

  14. “The deeper my love for myself, the more the universe (or call it God if you like) affirms my worth.” We all seek love, to be loved and cherished and to return that love in full and when we connect to the love within our own inner-heart we connect to the Divine love of God and it just keeps growing and deepening.

  15. “…..craving love, touch, appreciation, connection – and not knowing my own self-worth.” Oh yes I know this so well. If I am not loving and appreciating myself I automatically look outside of me for attention, affection, appreciation and love. But just by looking outside of myself for this I am automatically not valuing myself. If I need someone to give me love it means I don’t have it for myself.

  16. We can never tire of talking about self-worth .. until every single person on the planet has multitudes of it. From my experience it is never something you can grab, buy or try to get, instead it is, as you have shared, how much do we love ourselves and we can always always truly and deeply love ourselves more .. it is bottomless! I love this ‘The deeper my love for myself, the more the universe (or call it God if you like) affirms my worth.’

  17. Perhaps we ought to re-define self-worth as a society back to its true meaning, otherwise we will continue to be at the mercy of all the abusive behaviours we end up with as a consequence of the lack of self-worth so common today.

  18. ‘and not knowing my own self-worth’. This line is totally relevant for me right now, because that is exactly what I have been experiencing. Yes I have a good feeling on the qualities I bring, but I have not truly embodied this, but the more I feel into this and observe the changes that take place at my work, there is no escaping the fact that the way I live now has an impact on all others. I am also feeling like something old and heavy that was weighing me down has been lifted and the road ahead is clear for me. And only now can I truly appreciate all I bring and in that appreciation I feel this expansion as I claim my self-worth.

  19. Yes when we truly confirm ourselves we realise that life has always been confirming us too. Hence how much do we miss out on in life when we shut down ourselves?

  20. ‘I became aware that not only do I love life, but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself’. You cannot love life if you are holding onto hurts. We are here to heal our hurts, to let them go and open up to receive more love and as we do, life does indeed love us back.

  21. Life is infinitely more expanded for me by my connection to Serge Benhayon and his presentations of the Ageless Wisdom There is so much need for us to be honest with ourselves first then this allows us to be the same with others. We are all love we just need to remember, and live it.! Thank you Dragana!

  22. This self-worth is a biggie, it interferes in everything we do but when we connect to this worth and know that we are more than what is being projected at us, nothing can displace us.

  23. Developing a love affair with myself is something that happens in small ways, in the way I care for myself, in the way I keep my home clean and ordered. But it also needs an inner declaration, a moment of saying “yes I do want to be in love with all I am, and have that be a daily development”.

  24. How true is this, “I used to (and at times still occasionally do now) talk to myself in a way that if that were somebody else talking to me, I would have said goodbye to the person long ago!” It’s the conversation many of us don’t or can’t hear and that is the one that goes on inside us. Even the most ‘together’ or ‘successful’ person can have a level of self talk that goes well beyond what we would allow from someone else. Why do we allow or accept something in our own body that we wouldn’t do when it’s offered from others or in front of others. Continually being aware of how we are speaking to ourselves supports us in many ways as this can be the marker also of how we first speak to others.

  25. “but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself” This goes totally against the common held belief that life is hard, and owes us something, it is the school of hard knocks, and that murphy’s law rules the roost….I could go on. What you are offering here Dragana, is quite profound as it is quite the opposite. Life does want us to nurture ourselves, and deep down we do know that otherwise we would not feel the tension of us not being more self-loving and self-caring.

  26. This is huge — this is power.
    This is one of the most beautiful things someone truly said:
    “I became aware that not only do I love life, but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself. The deeper my love for myself, the more the universe (or call it God if you like) affirms my worth”. I am in awe, I am with God as much as I surrender to be..

  27. Reading your words Dragana show me the simplicity of self worth, that it is knowing who we truly are. So it makes sense the more and deeper we care for ourselves the better we get to know ourselves and thus unravel who we are.

  28. Bringing an awareness to what is truly going on in our heads that effects how we feel about ourselves and our worth is something that every single one of us can look at. To clock the words we speak to ourselves and hear and feel how they are is such a great place to begin to self-love.

  29. Becoming aware of the way we speak to ourselves can initially be quite shocking as we realise that we would never speak to another the way we speak to ourselves.

  30. ‘I used to (and at times still occasionally do now) talk to myself in a way that if that were somebody else talking to me, I would have said goodbye to the person long ago!’ HaHa,You could not have said this more clearly than you do now Dragana and I take it as a reminder when I choose my critical voice again pushing me to be someone who I am not.

  31. Beautiful Dragana, so true, our gorgeous muscled organ that pumps all the blood through our system needs love, a beholding of love, that comes from within you — you holding yourself in the most love you know yourself to be worth (forever expanding this) and this building of a relationship with you , your heart and your whole beingness is than called an love affair or any name you would like to use really..

  32. ‘I became aware that not only do I love life, but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself.’ Well said Dragana, we live love we get so much more back – that is the way of the universe.

  33. Self-worth is a big one for me for sure, but a welcome journey of return as this underpins vertually everything else that appears to be an issue. For instance when I know my self-worth I trust myself and what I feel and do not give my power away to others I perceive know more than I. That saves a lot of pickles in my life for sure, with my living with fullness and confidence again. Love the Verb too.

  34. Before meeting Serge Benhayon I didn’t even have the concept of self love. I remember when hearing it wondering what it was. I knew the word self and I knew the word love, but the two side by side defeated me. The whole world teaches us that the opposite of self love is what is needed, we need to constantly criticise ourselves and make ourselves less for the benefit of others. All an absolute lie.

  35. ‘I became aware that not only do I love life, but that life loves me back and that it wants me to nurture myself.’ True Dragana, once we step out of the struggle we have made life to be, the whole perspective about life and ourselves is changing, we are no longer the victims of what happens but feel we are the ones that make life as it is or we make the choice to love ourselves first.

  36. This made me laugh as it is so true for me also. . . ” I used to (and at times still occasionally do now) talk to myself in a way that if that were somebody else talking to me, I would have said goodbye to the person long ago!” . . . this says it all! And when we look at it from this angle we can never allow any form of abusive self-talk in again.

  37. Life long love affair with myself …..so easy to dismiss but the rewards are immense and as you say Dragana that when we love and nurture ourselves we are loved back…. ten fold, how beautiful this is.

  38. Have a love affair with yourself and life. Pretty cool. Then anything that comes from this is an absolute bonus. The foundation is set – based on you, and your love for yourself and life. What a base to live from. Love it.

  39. Relearning to self-worth. I thought I had pretty good self-worth, but I see I can take this to a much deeper level. If there is deep self-worth there is also a way of living that is deeply loving towards myself. There is quite a work to be done here, as, for example to talk to myself in very loving.

  40. Developing self-worth provides a foundation from which to have not only a relationship with ourselves but with all others. So much simplicity in relationships comes from this foundation.

  41. Natalie once said to me when those thoughts of putting yourself down or giving yourself a hard time are there you have to cut them and not go into them. At first I didn’t get it, then I started to observe this more and realised the untruth of all those thoughts and how time consuming and exhausting they are.

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