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Introduction: The first time I properly met Judith McIntyre she was in her bedroom over-looking the Northern Ridge in Goonellabah. She was sitting upright in a hospital bed that had recently replaced her queen-sized bed. The feeling in the room was very still. Late afternoon light was streaming in through a large glass window and with the sweeping view of the hills it felt as if we were in the valley itself, floating in a rural landscape. She was (and is) experiencing the advanced stages of Cancer. I was there to do an interview with her about her experience of dying but was completely unprepared for just how deep the healing would be speaking with her that day. I have never been afraid of death but I have never been comfortable around death and dying either. What do you say to someone that is facing such a huge event? How do you begin to relate? Judith took away all my awkwardness with the depth of her presence. When I greeted her hello, she pulled me close and hugged me (it seemed, she was reassuring me!). As I spoke to her I felt held in her gaze and in her bright, bright eyes. A day later I read this blog you are about to read, about the first time she met Serge Benhayon, and it seemed to me as though her writing was coming from heaven, a heaven she has made in her own life. This is the first in a series of articles by Judith that she has written to reflect the possibility that we can truly live while being near to the end (of this time round). I trust you will deeply appreciate this writing, this woman, and all that she brings. Rebecca Baldwin June 5th 2014 |
By Judith McIntyre, Goonellabah, Australia
Before I met Serge Benhayon my life had been unravelling for a few years.
I had made some choices late in life for my own emancipation. Inadvertently I denied myself almost every familiar support while facing major challenges:
- I was divorced after nearly forty years. And it was not amicable.
- I had little confidence in dealing with financial or legal matters or in standing up for myself and now in order to gain financial independence, all of these were necessary.
- I had been a suburbanite who enjoyed the city and now lived alone on a rural property. Since I lacked experience and energy to maintain the property I had to pay substantially for upkeep.
- I could sell the property but not until the property settlement, which was dragging on.
- I chose after persuasive prompting from my spiritual teacher to dedicate my property to be used as a centre for her programs. I effectively denied myself a personal nest at a time when I greatly needed one and made myself a caretaker with financial responsibilities. As it turned out the teacher came and used the property for two weeks in two years.
- I was isolated, many hundreds of kilometres from family and friends. I knew almost no one locally.
- I was physically debilitated from chronic low energy and digestive problems. My health despite many personal efforts and many practitioners had been worsening for years.
Up until then, being an optimistic person, I felt that somehow I would eventually be able to create a new life and rebuild my health, probably once the arduous settlement was complete. So I kept putting one foot in front of the other, trudging on… This too shall pass.
To sum it up I was lonely, struggling, ‘homeless’, exhausted, and increasingly disillusioned with my spiritual path. Then, in retrospect, unsurprisingly, I got cancer.
The diagnosis changed everything. I felt cracked open. All the spiritual wisdom I had been acquiring seemed useless. I was deeply humbled. After all, what did I know about life? How had I spent it? I could be on my way out of this world quite soon. I had a dream about being in an airless cave and another about being in a tomb with no possible way out… ALthough I am very intelligent, what bothered me most was that I could die knowing nothing, that I had wasted my precious time. I prayed to know what was true.
I was recovering before further surgery when I decided to venture out of my usual seclusion to attend an afternoon session of the Writers Festival. I wanted to hear Serge Benhayon speak. I was curious about him because of contradictory reports. I had heard two men on separate occasions praise him highly for his treatment and counselling. I had only ever heard women recommend healers before. I also had heard a woman criticise him and the Esoteric Breast Massage modality that, according to a pamphlet I picked up, he had inspired. She had never met him or had a treatment but was convinced he was abusive to women. Later I would reflect on how far off the mark people can be when they judge without any first-hand experience or evidence.
In my fragile state I found the marquee where Serge Benhayon was speaking. A series of things then happened that felt extraordinary, even magical.
- First, there were no empty seats, the marquee was full with overflow on the sides, but someone got up and left right near where I stood so I could simply sit down. No need even to climb past anyone.
- Although his talk was on the topic of words and energy, as soon as I sat down I was surprised to hear him discuss breast cancer, my personal looming concern.
- Then, Serge’s appearance was understated, his voice very easy to listen to and he seemed comfortable in his body. There was nothing obviously attention-grabbing about him as a speaker and yet the whole tent was palpably still, listening.
- It was more like being in a meditation group than the usual Writers Festival, highly mentally-stimulated, coffee-buzzed, celebrity-following crowd.
- He spoke with frankness and common sense. When had I ever heard such simple wisdom delivered so effectively?
- Most speakers reveal personality or a public persona. Serge seemed to simply present a message. Who was this man? Why did he have such presence?
Serge Benhayon spoke about truth: about being authentic and saying what was true for us.
At the end, I wanted to buy his book. I went towards the front with that in mind but just then he came down to the aisle I was in. He turned toward me and as he looked at me, inspired by his message to say and express the truth, I simply told him that I had breast cancer. He said to me that what I needed was deep self-nurturing. I didn’t know what that meant at that time, but I knew I wanted to know.
With only a momentary conversation I felt that he had met me. He met me where I was, broken open, detached from the world, where no family member, friend or professional, however caring or supportive, had been able to come.
I was standing on the edge of eternity and apparently he knew the territory and was at home there.
When he signed my book, although I had heard that he had a long waiting list, I told him that I wanted to see him. When he heard my cancer was not in remission, he told me to call for an appointment. On the day I called there was a cancellation and he fit me in straight away. I began to see him weekly for support through my cancer treatment. From the first session I had with him my fear levels plummeted and I began to feel at home with myself and my situation.
For many years I had believed that the kingdom of God is within me and for three decades I had practised meditation as a means to experience it but only when I met Serge Benhayon and experienced the Gentle Breath Meditation and my own inner heart did I find that kingdom.
I learned how to stop creating my own misery and how to deeply self-nurture.
Alice A. Bailey in The Reappearance of the Christ writes that:
“It is only in desperation and when completely at the end of his tether that the disciple finds his way into that Kingdom and is ready to relinquish the old ways. What is true of the individual must also be true, on a larger scale, of humanity.”
These are desperate times for humanity: we have natural disasters, war, famine, rising numbers of refugees, rising rates of cancer and other diseases, the breakdown of connection and trust at every level from the family to corporations to national governments and international relations.
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
We are blessed to have Serge Benhayon amongst us, a man with integrity who expresses truth, so much needed in this world, ‘Serge Benhayon spoke about truth: about being authentic and saying what was true for us.’
“These are desperate times for humanity: we have natural disasters, war, famine, rising numbers of refugees, rising rates of cancer and other diseases, the breakdown of connection and trust at every level from the family to corporations to national governments and international relations” – I agree, and what we are seeing is more numbing, more distraction, as if none of it has got anything to do with us and we are just waiting for it to pass.
The support and Love that is a hallmark of Serge Benhayon’s is a remarkable tribute, seeing how much work he fits into each day.
I have never seen Serge Benhayon try to sell his presentations or teachings, he does not seem attached to having millions of copies from his books sold worldwide, nor to present in every country in the world. What I see is a humble man just speaking what he lives.
Serge Benhayon holds people in space, allowing them to come to the work as and when they feel impulsed.
It easy to see the disasters happening in the world just now and be down hearted and indeed how we are is atrocious, and yet as offered here, it’s often from those depths that we can choose differently so what will we choose as a humanity? Our current way is not working, time for another one, and as shared by someone who faced their own ‘disaster’ but choose to make a heaven in her own life with it. We too can do that.
How the world is, and how we are living is clearly not working. What are you doing about this fact?
“He spoke with frankness and common sense. When had I ever heard such simple wisdom delivered so effectively?” What a beautiful constellation and blessing Serge Benhayon offered you and is for so many in humanity when we are ready to open up and let love truly in.
If you take the time to really listen to Serge Benhayon you will see and feel that what he shares is simple common sense, and pure wisdom.
Very beautifully written and very honest and real about the fact that we can have so much knowledge but feel unprepared to pass over as we have not truly learned anything about ourselves and why we are here on this planet.
I didn’t know Judith personally but this doesn’t prevent me from clearly feeling that she was a powerful woman who opened up to a greater wisdom within herself. A choice that each one of us can make.
It was lovely to hear how open Judith was re her opinion on Serge; she wanted to listen to Serge Benhayon, so she could feel what was true for herself, ‘I wanted to hear Serge Benhayon speak. I was curious about him because of contradictory reports.’
I deeply appreciate how beautifully supported Judith McIntyre was in the last years of her life. She died gracefully surrounded by amazing people who dearly loved her. It is the most precious way to end a cycle of life.
The joy that Judith McIntyre emanated is still here, from the way she lived till her last breath.
In today’s world we are bombarded from every angle with challenge after challenge and by the end of the day and it is almost like ‘phew’ I survived another day. So the sharing that ‘these are desperate times for humanity’ rings true for me, but the question is how are we going to collectively respond to these challenges together.
“With only a momentary conversation I felt that he had met me.” I too share a similar experience as do I am sure hundreds of others, my first meeting with Serge Benhayon was a brief chat, and he recommended me to a practitioner in the U.K., and I felt totally met for the first time and beautifully supported too.
Very touching to read. Sometimes we need a disease to be stopped in our ways and be cracked open and open up for the truth and love that is always waiting for us. Inside of us, and sometimes it is brought by a messenger like Serge Benhayon.
‘Truth came to me when I finally asked for it unconditionally. The suffering of humanity is preparing us all for a powerful and blessed change.’ It seems bizarre that we need to get to the depths of suffering and before was say enough and before we are willing to change.
Your last line is super interesting – we can have the most awful experience in life or an awful moment or day or week and then that in itself can totally turn our lives around because we know we never want to go there or experience that again.
I agree Meg. Last line is very relatable for me. The moments in my life where I felt completely lost have been those where more support I’ve received and more clarity to see what was the next step to take. So difficulties are actually an opportunity for change.
Yes the last line stood out for me too. It is true and that is also why comfort can be such an illusion. When we feel comfortable we won’t look for more or to change and will stay where we are even though this might be much less than what we are capable of.
What does it take for someone to get to the place, where they want to turn their life around; I see that this place is very unique to the individual concerned. We could simply just choose to say enough is enough, and no longer accept the abuse, the disasters, acknowledge that there has to be another way, a way based on love.
There’s no doubt that we are in times of change. I think the spirit of mankind needs to be shaken up enough to realise that there is more to life and that we need to have another aim in life. Not just getting more comfortable as in getting more social benefits and a better living standard. I feel we need to rekindle the message that I hear Serge Benhayon present, that we are divine beings returning to divine form once again.
Indeed, a writing from heaven. What I can feel is Judith’s deep appreciation for life as the opportunity for healing, which is totally humbling and inspiring to feel in this body that at times gets neglected and taken advantage of as if to fight the settlement I feel Judith has found within.
Such a powerful and inspiring blog. The Alice A Bailey quote is very profound and with Judith’s comment, “Truth came to me when I finally asked for it unconditionally. The suffering of humanity is preparing us all for a powerful and blessed change” is very prophetic for the present times.
Humanity is not in a state of despair. That is why it can afford to be utterly arrogant with what Serge Benhayon has to offer. This, however, sets us up for a course that not many will find very pleasant. His teachings will no doubt be known to all in its due time.
So true Eduardo, it seems humanity is choosing a path of deeper suffering before it will eventually ask the correct questions and find the True answers.
This is such a powerful read in the honest and frank way it is written. Truly inspiring on so many levels, and what I personally got from reading is that, everything happens for a reason, and where ever we find ourselves, is where we need to be, in order to find our way home. And when we get to this cross point in life, there is always unlimited support, we are never, ever alone.
Wow, it blows me away every time I read it – the integrity, the simplicity of what Judith has shared with us all, and how she’s shown us that in all that’s happening with humanity right now it’s an offering for us to see and feel that how we are all living is not working … it’s our moment to be cracked open and shown that our ways are not it and that we can choose to change, to stop creating our own misery and instead self nurture, all of us just as Judith did; to do so we need to be honest and be willing to seek the truth.
‘I learned how to stop creating my own misery and how to deeply self-nurture.’ Such an important message here. And the way to truly appreciating our wondrous nature, interconnectedness, multidimensionality and sacredness.
‘Truth came to me when I finally asked for it unconditionally. The suffering of humanity is preparing us all for a powerful and blessed change.’ What powerful lines! It does indeed seem bizarre that we have to suffer and hit crisis point before we are willing to ask for the truth.
The suffering is indeed on the micro and macro level with rising rates of illness, dis-ease, corruption and bullying through corporations and institutions. This account is of a very personal nature and yet holds the key for the breakdown of our societies and its systems and the way back through personal responsibility for the way that we live.
This blog invites me to pause and reflect on where I am with respect to how I deeply self-nurture. I have made many lifestyle changes but my feeling is to refine how I move and to be fully consciously present in my body, is in fact deeply self nurturing.
I learned how to stop creating my own misery and how to deeply self-nurture. Feels so powerful when we are able to heal ourselves from old ways of being.
A true testament to The Way of The Livingness, and the commitment to service for humanity until our last breath. Simply inspirational and divine.
Certainly words from heaven .. I felt a knowing inside me as I read every word. I was addicted to the energy. It’s the same when I sit in the hall with Serge when he presents. I am there held by the energy of love the energy of God. I cherish the esoteric and now the occult (Oneness of God). It is everything to Me and who I am. I might be distracted by this physical creation of desires sometimes but as I commit more and more to the responsibility that Love endures, Life is Glorious beyond trying to acquire recognition from others but accepting the truth of what We are here to do.
Being in a room when Serge presents is such a blessing, it is indeed like being in room of love, connected with something far grander than ourselves.
I too find it interesting that people are so quick to judge others with no first hand experience or evidence, what basis do they have to go on? I have made a point of not believing any-one else’s opinion of another unless they have had their own personal experience, even then I am discerning as it is only coming from their perception of the person.
Speaking truth from the heart cuts through the misconceptions and doubts of the mind, it is felt in our bodies and right there and then we are given a choice to say yes to that which will advance our evolution in order to be more or involution where we get caught in the comforts of life chasing something with no advancement to be more of the love that we truly are.
The truth that Serge Benhayon presents at courses and workshops is always accessible to all, as he lives this truth 24/7, Serge lives in a way that is consistently in a movement of harmony, joy, love and stillness and this reflection offers the way of return home to the kingdom of God within equally so to every person on this planet. Accepting the invitation is always our choice.
“For many years I had believed that the kingdom of God is within me and for three decades I had practised meditation as a means to experience it but only when I met Serge Benhayon and experienced the Gentle Breath Meditation and my own inner heart did I find that kingdom”.
To be standing on the edge of eternity and meeting someone like Serge Benhayon who can put you at ease and solid ground again, is a great gift. After we have tried all the conventional and sometimes unconventional things on offer, we can be very lost and not know our way home. It is a joy to find a steady, guiding light and finally come back to the simplicity of the soul that is our own guiding light within us.
It was indeed a great gift, to meet Serge Benhayon, he shares immense wisdom, and what he shares makes sense, ‘He spoke with frankness and common sense. When had I ever heard such simple wisdom delivered so effectively?’
I have viewed the video taken of Judith before she died and she looked nothing like any of my relatives who passed away with cancer. There was such a joy for life, and a depth to her which I have not witnessed in any other when they were approaching death. Truly inspirational.
Judith McIntyre raised a very wise point: do we ask for truth unconditionally? Or do we settle for less?
Perhaps we settle for less because the unconditional truth is too hard for us to hear. How many of us are willing to be completely open and listen to the energetic truth of how we are living our lives?
We really need to not look away from what is happening in the world, in life, to feel and admit the depth of mess we are finding ourselves in right now, only then we can come to the humility and start finding our way back to truth.
Anyone that did not know this woman needs to at least take the time to read these blogs and if they have done this, they will know without a shadow of a doubt that Judith was extremely sharp and very sound of mind.
This is a deeply responsible stance in life and one that we ought to all seek for ourselves – “I learned how to stop creating my own misery and how to deeply self-nurture.”
Agreed Elizabeth. This is a powerful and deeply inspiring statement that cuts straight through outdated ideals and beliefs and opens the way home to the truth of who we are.