The Word Love

We bandy around the word love in everyday life. People say it to each other, we sign-off in letters and greeting cards with it, songs are written about it and it’s a favourite topic in romantic movies.

We use the word ‘love’ in everyday life, but I have questioned whether we have lost the true meaning of the word, or at the very least I have questioned my own understanding of this word.

This word ‘love’ is crucial to each of our lives and to the whole of humanity, but what if the meaning has changed? What happens if the quality that we know to be love is reinterpreted and replaced with something that is not love? And why is love so important in our world – for we all appear to be chasing it.

Growing up, as a teenager I thought love only came from having a boyfriend. I created an image of love based on what I had learned on the movie screen and usually it went something like this: meet a boy, feel a sensation in the body that is labelled love, have sex after the first meeting and there the movie ends with the impression of happily-ever-after for this new couple.

It seems foolish of me to have fallen for the movie scene particularly now as I write it, but I truly believed this was love and this was what I set out to have for myself. I was on a mission to find this feeling called love, and I had seen hundreds of times in movies how it was to be found.

Despite following the script perfectly, overriding any feelings of apprehension or uncertainty, I never did find a relationship that had this happily-ever-after feeling. If one relationship did not work, I tried again using the same formula in an effort to find the ‘right’ man.

In my early 30s I thought I had found Mr. Right. We married shortly after meeting and within weeks I was pregnant. Midway through my pregnancy, I wondered whether Mr. Right was really Mr. Right, but I kept working towards this picture because happily-ever-after was now before me… or was it?

Happily-ever-after was not even in sight, let alone before me.

I had confused love with lust and attention. I had made love to be something that was to be found on the outside of me, something that I would receive from another. In fact, what I was feeling was not love at all, but more the filling of an emptiness and an excitement about the possibility that this emptiness would now dissipate forever because somebody else was here to take it away.

As I look back I can see that there was no foundation of love in myself, let alone in my relationships, so each relationship became a struggle. When I felt something wasn’t right within my own relationship, I turned to other women for support only to find that their own lives were the same as my own. I resorted to thinking that “this is just the way it is,” and would settle down in my uncomfortable dysfunction and continue until the next time the tension of lovelessness was felt once again.

At age 34, I started attending Serge Benhayon’s presentations on the esoteric teachings as well as seeing Universal Medicine esoteric practitioners for healing sessions. What I felt here was something very different: for the first time, I felt the true essence of love.

This love that I was feeling:

  • was not imposing and asked nothing from me
  • came with no rules as it was just there
  • was tenderness, gentleness, understanding and appreciation and yet wasn’t without responsibility or, at times, a firmness
  • could be felt on a physical level even with just the touch of a fingertip
  • didn’t need words for it to be expressed for it was ever present
  • allowed a spaciousness for me to be myself.

Perhaps though, the one thing that I felt the most was that this love I was feeling and observing in another was not about me. It was emanating from inside those who had rediscovered love for themselves. I was simply feeling the loveliness of another and it became very clear that although I had not chosen love for myself, that it was there for me too… and that it had always been there for me too.

This was enough to inspire me to start to change my life in ways I never thought possible.

I always knew that love held the key to something very powerful and my lifelong search for this expression continued. This time however, my search was not a search for anything outside of me – not boyfriends, not money, not a career – it was simply to reignite that which was always there inside of myself, just waiting for me to first realise that the former path I had chosen would never lead me to the essence of love.

Whilst there may have been little true love in my life growing up and into my adulthood, I can’t dispute that I did know what love is.

For the act of knowing what love was not, meant that I was governed by an inner knowing of what love truly is.

I knew that I would know love when I felt it and this proved to be true, despite living a life that had sold me a reinterpreted version of the word.

We all know what is love, but many of us simply resort to something that is less – we resort to ‘attention’ or ‘lust’ or ‘companionship’ or ‘security’ – so that we don’t have to feel alone.

With the amazing support of Universal Medicine and the esoteric practitioners, I faced the task of rediscovering love for myself, starting first with becoming gentle and nurturing to the body in everything that I did. For example, when I dressed, I would consider the weather when I chose my clothes, the colour of the clothes I felt to wear that day, taking a jacket or wrap just in case, applying makeup and styling my hair to confirm my inner beauty, choosing suitable footwear for the day’s activities, taking food to nibble on in the event I felt hungry… and the list goes on.

Of course this level of nurturing always showed up the choices I had made which were not loving, but feeling the sadness of this was simply part of the process that redeveloped my understanding of love.

Nowadays, if I am ever unsure about whether I am caught up in an old belief about what I think love might be, I simply ask the question – “Is it love?” – and feel for the answer in my body.

By asking the question – “Is it love?” – I give myself the opportunity to look at the way I am living and feel whether it has the true quality of love. And what I am feeling more and more, is that when we don’t purposely choose love, we end up choosing by default another way of being which holds an emptiness, a misery, a sadness, and a lovelessness.

I realised that I do know what is love and what is not love and there is no need for a rulebook to make this clear. I was never going to find love from another; it was always my responsibility to bring it to myself through the loving choices I make for myself each and every day. And when any two people come together in friendship or courtship where each has developed love for themselves, there is nothing but pure beauty in the understanding, delicateness and harmony that love brings. And in this, I am finally able to use and understand the true meaning of the word love.

by Maree, New South Wales

Further Reading:
Being Loved to Be Love
The Word Love
Love – What happened to the Word?

614 thoughts on “The Word Love

  1. “This was enough to inspire me to start to change my life in ways I never thought possible.” Me too, Maree, I can totally relate to what you have shared here and it is so beautiful to be given this opportunity to take a moment to fully appreciate just how much my life has changed and continues to do so thanks to the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

  2. Feeling the true essence of love after attending Universal Medicine presentations was a revelation for me too, realising and accepting that it could not be found on the outside of me or from another but from within me, the last place I had ever thought to search!

  3. “In fact, what I was feeling was not love at all, but more the filling of an emptiness and an excitement about the possibility that this emptiness would now dissipate forever because somebody else was here to take it away.” Oh yes, I can totally relate to feeling the exact same way and, from what I have observed around me, so did everyone else.

  4. The foundation of true love is purpose in absolutely everything we do – this is the essential ingredient in the true quality of love.

  5. your blog is very wise Maree. We do know what love is because we know exactly what is not love and tit is clear we yearn and miss the fullness of the love that we know. It is our biggest sorrow to have walked away from love. Now we have the opportunity to bring love back into our lives in all its fullness. Moment by moment with all our choices, love is available.

  6. Once it is spelt out then it really does become very obvious, almost simplistic, but nevertheless it is something that needs to be said again and again, we cannot love another person truly until we have a deep and abiding connection with ourselves.

  7. There is nothing more loving that being offered a space to just to be yourself. From there it is our choice to embrace and express the love we are… and our responsibility to live it… in doing so we then allow others the space to be themselves knowing the enormity of what is possible when we do.

    1. This is beautifully said and I agree it is most beautiful to being offered a space to just be oneself, and even more precious when we allow ourselves this space.

  8. “For the act of knowing what love was not, meant that I was governed by an inner knowing of what love truly is.” Sums it up perfectly Maree as love is a universal expression felt from within us all. Thank you.

  9. As you say, love is very important to us humans, why? because we are love and we come from love. So the best way to prevent us knowing who we really are is to change the meaning of love and that is what was done. Turn it into an emotional thing, a romantic thing and we cannot find our way back to the love we truly are because love is now some bastardised lesser thing.

  10. When we have forgotten the feeling of true love we constantly seek to find it in saying we ‘love’ certain foods as we eat them to fill an emptiness or expect another person to fill our emptiness in a relationship. Universal Medicine presents the way to reconnect to the innate love that is ever-present in our inner-heart and when we feel it we know we have refound the true love that we naturally are.

  11. Thank you Maree for a beautiful sharing, I can relate to growing up with the movie love and the happily ever after, which of course was never true, never came by looking outside of myself for it “it was always my responsibility to bring it to myself through the loving choices I make for myself each and every day.” The love that I have come to know, accepts me for who I am, embraces me in its warmth, it has no needs for it is all encompassing.

  12. Thank you Maree for this exploration of love. By seeking love through others we deprive ourselves of the very love that we have inside or more so that we are.

  13. Through seeking the false version of love outside of us, we take ourselves on a wild goose chase in an attempt to fill the emptiness we feel within. But if we stopped and took the time to connect to the love which resides within us all, the emptiness would dissipate and we would simply be love.

  14. Let me be very clear here… It was not until I met Serge Benhayon that I had a glimpse even of the true meaning of the word love… It is not until one truly feels such a depth of love for all of humanity that one can start to experience, and bring into one’s own life, what love actually means.

  15. ‘I was never going to find love from another; it was always my responsibility to bring it to myself through the loving choices I make for myself each and every day.’ This may take a while to become a living way but oh my is it worth it and, of course, everyone benefits.

  16. We expend so much time and energy searching for love outside of ourselves when all along it is right there inside each of us just waiting to be re-connected to. I am so grateful for the loving reflections of others that have supported me to choose love on a more consistent basis.

  17. A true reflection of love really does go off like a inspiration bomb and offers much in the way of learning and expansion for others. This is what is so beautiful about showing who we are as this sparkling emanation from within is not ours to hold onto, its there to let free for all to see and feel. The real love lives within and really just wants to come out, holding it back only harms us and denies our true power of connection.

  18. Beautiful to re-read your blog Maree. “By asking the question – “Is it love?” – I give myself the opportunity to look at the way I am living and feel whether it has the true quality of love. ” A great question to ask ourselves consistently.

  19. Thank you Maree I loved your blog and this question “Nowadays, if I am ever unsure about whether I am caught up in an old belief about what I think love might be, I simply ask the question – “Is it love?” – and feel for the answer in my body.” when we connect to our bodies and the wisdom it holds and the true love that has always been their just waiting for our connection to it.

  20. Of all words, love is perhaps the one that is associated with images the most. What image in particular we associate love with, is related to our particular hurts and needs. This is really what are we talking about in the name of love. No wonder why relationships are such a difficult issue for us.

  21. As a society many have strayed from the true meaning of the word ‘love’, settling for a lesser version of love that is just about getting your needs met and protecting your hurts. Your blog is a beautiful reminder of the simplicity and true meaning of the word ‘love’ and how we all know deeply within what ‘love’ is and every choice we make is either a step towards love or a step away from love.

  22. ‘I always knew that love held the key to something very powerful and my lifelong search for this expression continued.’ Astonishing that we all search for love outside ourselves, when love is within us all, and we only need to make the choice to connect to it first.

  23. This is so beautifully written Maree that I would have no hesitation in saying you have a clear knowing and experience of Love. Thank you for sharing with us all.

  24. Simplicity in truth and divinity; what a wonderful question as our guiding light, “is it love?” – with the answer being felt in our bodies; thank you, Maree;
    “Nowadays, if I am ever unsure about whether I am caught up in an old belief about what I think love might be, I simply ask the question – “Is it love?” – and feel for the answer in my body”.

  25. It is true that these days we have many different interpretations of what love is which is crazy really when we can all feel the quality of love and we know it is has a certain energetic quality that we can sense and discern.

  26. As I develop an understanding of what love actually is truly all about, as I start to commit more to life and to expressing all that I can feel without holding back, all the unloving choices I’ve made, the disconnection, the withdrawal and the lack of commitment is exposed – and feeling it is very uncomfortable. In this, there’s a choice: to either bash myself and be hard on myself for all my past choices and behaviours, or accept them, and myself, and appreciate that I can now see the effect of these choices of behaviour on myself and others. And therein lies the healing: it’s not about indulging in self-punishment, as in ‘oh I’m so bad I chose xyz’ but about understanding where we were at when we made those choices – and accepting that, appreciating that now we know differently and can choose otherwise, and move on.

  27. There is a social script for love and there is a way to live love based on it.
    Through them we learn what is love, how does it feel, how to achieve it and how to live a loving life. Thanks to this, there is a normalised version of love that surrounds us and that informs our judgments of how we are relating to it. It is a bit like a bus that is already moving and our task is to get on it and find our spot in there. Love, hence, is an outward movement to connect to a feeling that comes from the outside. The only problem is that none of this is true. Love is and requires an inward movement of deep connection with ourselves and to live that connection and from that connection.

  28. Having been able to re-connect to the love within myself through the presentations by Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and the amazing loving support of his family I can now say I have a true foundation of understanding love.

  29. The word ‘love’ is contained in the word ‘evolve’. Learning what love truly is is part of our evolution.

  30. It was not until I met Serge Benhayon did I have a true understanding and appreciation of what love truly means – it was like learning a new language.

  31. I’ve been pondering on love lately and what it means to live a life of love and even open myself up to love. I see other people surrounded by huge amounts of love and what I’m realising is that we’re all surrounded by huge amounts of love, it is only a matter of choice as to whether we let it in. So how do I start to let in? I think it starts with me and my own love. Realising I am love and that I have all the love I need within. For now, these are mostly words, I’m working on living them and being the love I already am.

  32. It is safe to say that for most of my life I had lost connection with the Fire of my Soul, and it was not until I had my first every esoteric healing session with a lady called Elizabeth Dolan that I reconnected to what Fire felt like. Fire is love. It is an energetic state of being – no more than that. It is all beholding and completely non-imposing. It is truly beautiful, and certainly not transcendent or even uplifting in nature. Rather its pulse calls one to surrender and expand in accordance to its offering.

  33. Gorgeous Maree. We are sold and willing buy into a huge lie that love is outside of us, that we need to seek it and in doing so we avoid confirming and living the love we are – we expect another to fulfill us and in fact do not take our responsibility to live in the most loving way possible who are. And when we meet true love we know it and it does not ask us anything other than inspire us to be and live our own love.

  34. It has taken me a while to break down the belief that love is something that comes to you. I always thought it was something from outside, what I have learnt is it is first from within. Without this we can not accept true love when it comes our way.

  35. Herein are awesome words of wisdom, “I had confused love with lust and attention. I had made love to be something that was to be found on the outside of me, something that I would receive from another. In fact, what I was feeling was not love at all, but more the filling of an emptiness and an excitement about the possibility that this emptiness would now dissipate forever because somebody else was here to take it away.”

  36. Our picture of love in our head of how we want that love to look like can completely misinterpret the reality of what we are feeling and are experiencing and really land us in places that we would rather not be sometimes.

  37. I am just coming to understand this more- breaking down the picture that love is something that we get from another- I thought I understood that this wasn’t the case but can feel that I still have more to go in letting go of the pictures that I have around love and really embodying that it is an emanation that comes from within and the most loving life is when we can let this out with no holding back or investments.

  38. I was at a presentation last night by Serge Benhayon and he was explaining that the way we use the word LOVE depends on where we are at. So one persons “I love you” can actually have the subtext of “Im sorry, please forgive me” or ” I need you to know that I want to love you and I want you to love me, don’t leave me”
    Where is another persons LOVE might sound and feel completely different to this.
    My point is, the word LOVE is an evolution, as we evolve our understanding of this word changes, our relationship with it completely shifts.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s