Anxiousness, Stillness, God and Me

A short while ago I had an Esoteric Chakra-puncture session and as I was talking to the practitioner about how I was feeling, he asked if I experienced anxiousness. I reflected for a moment on how my days had been lived over the previous few weeks and responded, “No, it’s not something I regularly or strongly experience; I’m more likely to feel tension in my nervous system and I easily recognise those signs.”

Following the session, and again the next morning, I reflected a bit more deeply on this and realised that there had been an underlying tension in my body for a few weeks, coinciding with a change in jobs, and I had also been biting some of my nails again after not having done so for 3 or 4 years. I had been eating more sweet and salty foods than usual, and I was feeling anxious about the workload I had, both at work and outside of it, on a number of different projects that I had been called upon to support.

On my way to work, as I sat in the train, I gave myself time and space to connect to my body with the gentle breath so it could reveal to me what was underneath the tension. What I felt was a deep and long held anxiousness that I’d not let myself feel before.

I was able to feel how I was actually anxious about surrendering completely to God, to saying yes to trusting in my connection to God and my divine purpose as a Son of God. I was anxious about letting go of being in control of the direction of my life.

As soon as I was clear on what I was anxious about and called it out, I felt myself drop into a very deep stillness, I felt held in an embrace so warm and loving and had an absolute sense of knowing that God is always with me, within me.

It never ceases to amaze me how simple it is to get a sense of clarity when one chooses to be in the gentleness and stillness of one’s breath.

As the week unfolded, I observed myself leaving this embrace, leaving the stillness and returning to a state of anxiousness. I realised I still find it difficult to fully accept and appreciate God in my life – yet he accepts me unconditionally! I am slowly but surely learning to accept that I am a Son of God and I can reflect his love every day. While total acceptance may take some time, I felt I needed to make a commitment that for the next two weeks, to stop each day and take time to connect with my breath and my body; to the stillness and sacredness that is naturally within me.

I found this a very powerful way to appreciate and accept all of who I am and, in the stillness, I am rediscovering the relationship between God and me.

This ‘stop’ has now become part of my daily ritual, a powerful way to surrender and reconnect to the wisdom of my body, and the wisdom and presence of God. My understanding of where the anxiousness comes from has also deepened so that I am now aware that at times life, or what is being asked of me, feels ‘too big, too much’. Trying to control life has therefore been about making it seem smaller and manageable. In truth, I have been trying to keep myself smaller and less than what I truly am – a Son of God, equal in all love and glory to him.

When I make my days about stillness, God and all of me, then nothing is too big; there is no need to go into anxiousness, doubting what I am capable of. My days are simpler, fuller, joyous, and my connection to God is felt within and reflected in everything around me.

My re-connection back to God and the stillness within me has been inspired by Serge Benhayon through his own living and sharing of an unwavering connection to God in every moment. 

By Michelle, Brisbane

Further Reading:
Stillness
From Giving Up to Reclaiming Myself as a Son of God
What Causes Anxiousness?

856 thoughts on “Anxiousness, Stillness, God and Me

  1. Isn’t it weird how we reject the glory and magnificence of who we are for the a vastly smaller version and the illusion of control which does not even work?!

  2. Life can be and indeed is very simple and joyful when we allow it to be. Makes it even weirder that we so often choose complication, misery and the illusion of control instead!

  3. Learning to come back to ourselves through our breath opens up the space to build a deeper connection with our body and the stillness within, when we do we feel the interconnectedness we all have with each other and with God. It is only when we separate from this quality of connection that our body hardens and we feel anxious and unsure as we forget who we are and what we are capable of.

  4. ‘When I make my days about stillness, God and all of me, then nothing is too big; there is no need to go into anxiousness, doubting what I am capable of’, How very true Michelle. I had something quite big happen to me on Wednesday. My financial source of income had suddenly been cut due to a mistake in the bureaucracy of processing it. The letter I received was quite ‘punishing’ in its energy, but despite the shock I immediately saw this. I made an alignment there are then to approach the authorities concerned with nothing but goodwill and in my natural loving power. The whole thing, which could have been a disaster and drama with much anxiousness was sorted very easily.

  5. I learnt that anxiousness comes from not knowing what to do with one’s awareness, i.e. noticing more than we think we can handle. Once we find a way to deal with what we are aware of, the anxiousness reduces.

  6. This is such a great blog Michelle. Yes the whole of human suffering is self-inflicted. We have done it to ourselves while all the time God is holding us unconditionally in the superb beingness of Love until we bring this game to a halt.

  7. It is interesting how we would turn every stone in our life to find what is causing us tension but may not consider the relationship with God and divinity and that the ignorance of that can cause a lot of tension in our body already.

  8. We have developed so many skilful ways to avoid and not feel a connection that is never not present, our connection to God. We put things in the way and create things, hold onto pictures and beliefs that inevitably put doubt in our way. All doubt does is delay what is already ours and always there to return to. God knows who we are so is always ever present holding us in love, no matter how long we take to return and no matter what we put ourselves through.

  9. I forever find it very interesting as to the difference our bodies feel depending on if we have chosen our stillness, or not. Any moment I don’t choose my stillness there is an agitation in my body.

  10. “When I make my days about stillness, God and all of me, then nothing is too big; ” words of wisdom and timely after a intense bout of anxiousness in reaction to something that occurred, these words inspire and offer support.

  11. I have also found these moments when anxiousness or tension creep in usually because I am reacting to something that has happened and I have also found that when I stop to connect more deeply with my body and surrender to that stillness everything becomes much clearer to understand and easier to handle.

  12. Stillness gives us the space to feel clarity, and with that, a deeper knowing of who we are, and what’s needed in any given moment. There’s always a choice: allow ourselves to get caught up in the whirlwind and craziness that is the outside world, making ourselves frantic as we try to control it, or come back to our bodies, to our natural stillness within, through the gentleness of our breath and our movements.

  13. The thing is, we all, each and every one of us, have a relationship with God. Now I know that the atheists amongst us will recoil in horror at this statement, but irrespective of our beliefs, the interconnectedness of all things is a simple energetic truth. God is within each and everyone of us, and in the spaces in between 🙂

  14. “I was able to feel how I was actually anxious about surrendering completely to God,……..I was anxious about letting go of being in control of the direction of my life” – this really resonated with me. “Trying” to surrender with resistance makes it more painful and arduous and the situation appears bigger than it really is.

    And many of us carry this ‘control’, We can control a car (to a degree) but we cannot control what is around us, which is being presented to us to evolve, we just need to get out of our own way and let God in.

    1. “we just need to get out of our own way and let God in.” Yes Shushila, Sometimes and if aligned, God works through us with or without our awareness until something changes and we are amazed at how it happened.

  15. If we take stop moments throughout the day to connect to and feel our body through our gentle breath it can bring us back to that place of stillness within where we get a sense of our connection with God.

  16. “I was able to feel how I was actually anxious about surrendering completely to God, to saying yes to trusting in my connection to God and my divine purpose as a Son of God. I was anxious about letting go of being in control of the direction of my life.”- The timing of reading this is incredible and in this moment I can feel it hit home on a personal level very strongly. I could feel lately that there has been an underlying anxiousness in my body related to my relationship with God, but only after reading this blog has the true dynamic been revealed to me. Thank you so much Michelle for your honest sharing of your experiences. It’s a life changer!

  17. Giving ourselves the space to connect to our body consistently deepens our awareness and connection building a solid foundation and a natural confidence to engage with life and in knowing who we are there is no need to go into anxiousness and allow it to take hold.

  18. “in the stillness, I am rediscovering the relationship between God and me.” As we deepen our stillness within, so too do we deepen our relationship and knowing of God.

  19. ‘I was able to feel how I was actually anxious about surrendering completely to God, to saying yes to trusting in my connection to God and my divine purpose as a Son of God.’ Is it much more comfortable to stay in control than to walk with God, no..resisting love, being in anxiousness takes much more energy than to be in the presence of who we are, God.

  20. I liked your practical commitment to stopping to connect with your breath and body and feel the stillness. and using this to support you to surrender more to your relationship with God. I feel amazing when I drop back into stillness, i feel very at home there and from here I can get more and more familiar with claiming myself as a Son of God and feeling again the relationship that has always been there.

  21. “It never ceases to amaze me how simple it is to get a sense of clarity when one chooses to be in the gentleness and stillness of one’s breath.” When you choose to be clear you shall be in light to where you are at i.e. Choosing what you know is still, what is service, what is love that will vitally be the outcome.

  22. I can relate to not wanting to let go of being in control of the direction of my life too, and did not see anything negative about it until I developed a deeper relationship with my body and felt just how much anxiousness I was holding onto and the impact this was having on my body. Learning to stop and check in with how I was feeling inside deepened my awareness and connection to holding myself with a true steadiness of presence and with this the level of anxiousness naturally started to diminish.

  23. “When I make my days about stillness, God and all of me, then nothing is too big; there is no need to go into anxiousness, doubting what I am capable of.” This is a sure antidote to anxiousness, taking a stop moment to connect, knowing we are supported by divine love every step of the way.

  24. I was anxious about letting go of being in control of the direction of my life. And yet when we surrender to all life presents (with no resistance) grace can flow and all the support is available to us to take our next step, as God holds our hand to do so – when we let go of control!

  25. Being anxious because of truly surrendering to God, to trust my connection and accept my divine purpose as a Son of God is definitely something I can relate to. And how this is the cause of my struggle and disregard towards my body. So thank you Michelle as I felt a surrender in my body while reading about your daily stop with a natural acceptance and appreciation of who we are.

  26. I often feel anxiety in my body when I am trying to control what happens in life, letting go of this is a game changer and allows me to surrender and be part of the divine flow that beautifully supports me in life.

  27. Building stop moments into our day to connect with our breath and our body allows us to open up to a deeper awareness and steadiness in our connection that stills any anxiousness we create and builds a deeper acceptance of ourselves and the divineness of our being.

  28. It is beautiful to feel, the truth that resides in our bodies is always ready to guide us to know how to live in connection to our essence, to our stillness, in and with God.

  29. When something upsetting happens some of us walk to the fridge and grab whatever lies within those icy doors, others go straight for the pill ‘anxiousness’, which causes a vibration in the body that will, yes, effectively wipe out the incident that has just happened and put us into even more distress!!!! This is exactly the same process that people are operating in when they cut themselves (causing a hurt to the body that is numbing of the unassuageable emotional pain within) and yet we often accept ‘anxiousness’ as ‘normal’.

  30. Anxious about surrendering completely to God – this stopped me on my track and I can feel how this is also true for me – not because I doubt it, but because I do not even give this a proper go. The angst of knowing what is available, yet not chosen.

  31. Building my relationship with God has been life changing for me. It’s been the difference between thinking I’m doing it on my own, to realising that I’m never alone. And what an incredible illusion to bust, it’s like knocking down the flood gates to love that you have tirelessly kept maintained for eons.

  32. Michelle, it’s such perfect timing to read this blog today .. that in fact when we try and control and manage life rather than just being in the flow of it of course we have to be anxious! But if we surrender and let go (something I can struggle with), we met life and it meets us and it all becomes so much simpler. Thank you for reminding me today.

  33. Thank you Michelle for a great sharing one that I can relate to very much. While doing connective tissues exercises I am becoming more aware of how much anxiousness I carry in my body, and a sense of letting go of the control and surrounding to trust God is something that I very much want to experience, but am a little afraid of.

  34. I have always found it difficult to imagine life without control, knowing when and how things are going to be done or happen makes me feel a sense of safety. Surrendering still holds a judgment in my mind as being irresponsible and stillness within life still feels like something unobtainable. When I have a session at Universal Medicine I always feel very still and amazing but practically with how much I have on my plate, I am scared if I bring stillness, I won’t be able to do what needs to be done but instead just want to rest and I will never come back from the surrender. I know it sounds silly and that I am my own worst enemy but it is what I feel at the moment.

  35. Hi Michelle, thank you so much for this blog – I feel like I am in exactly the same phase at the moment. There’s a constant angst and chatter in my head, almost as if I don’t trust myself to let go. I feel like I need to talk to people to “help” me, but I also don’t want to talk to anybody. I feel like I want to stay in bed, but I also feel like I want to be moving constantly – it’s almost as if I’m in a battle between my head and my body. But, it’s a great confirmation because I am starting to give a voice to my body whereas previously it has all been about my head!

  36. Building true stop moments into every day allows us to connect to our innate stillness within. The more we are able to surrender to the stillness the more we deepen our awareness and knowing of our multidimensionality.

  37. I can relate to what you share of keeping myself in a state of anxiousness and not surrendering to more grace. When I do surrender I am able to feel what is needed in each moment and know how to respond.

  38. To observe ourselves and our behaviours and and allow ourselves to feel how we are is a great way to find out why we do certain things and with the clarity we then have we can take the next step and see what it takes to let go of it.

  39. I’m discovering in the controlling action all I can control is how small I make myself, then everything else looks huge! Holding myself in fullness is being open to all with the love and support of God, it is a choice.

    1. This control thing is such an illusion as we can’t actually control anything even how small we are because we are not small – we are vast beyond measure. What we can do is pretend to be less than who we are but sooner or later that will catch up with us and the truth will out!

  40. Yesterday I did attend a Livingness 1 workshop presented by Natalie Benhayon in Cologne and she offered the Gentle Breath Meditation to the group and how simple but profound way to connect back to our essence and like you shared too Michelle a sense of clarity is very simple then, as our essence doesn’t know complication, only love, very simple.

  41. “When I make my days about stillness, God and all of me, then nothing is too big; there is no need to go into anxiousness, doubting what I am capable of.” As I have become more still the underlying anxiousness and tension I have buried is emerging. Connecting more deeply with my body and my essence is dealing with it at last. I am appreciating that I am no longer burying emotions but clocking them and dealing with them. I find Esoteric Yoga to be an amazing modality that supports my deepening stillness.

  42. I hadn’t considered before that the anxiousness I often feel is connected to surrendering to God and the Plan but it makes absolute sense now that I am anxious about not being in control. Thank you for the inspiration to connect to God everyday, to claim and surrender to being a Son of God and let go the control.

  43. It’s seems to be the one thing that offers the most amazing loving supportive holding, is the one thing that I have shut out or down from and this is God. It’s a strange paradox to think I’m in control, which does set up tension and anxiousness. When surrendering to the presence of God with-in me the quality of my next choice totally changes and things become very clear, simple and spacious. I’m loving claiming God with-in me.

  44. “How simple it is to get a sense of clarity when one chooses to be in the gentleness and stillness of one’s breath.” I agree Michelle, connecting to our breath allows us to know and understand ourselves from our innate quality of being discerning with true clarity from our body’s inner wisdom.

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