Anxiousness, Stillness, God and Me

A short while ago I had an Esoteric Chakra-puncture session and as I was talking to the practitioner about how I was feeling, he asked if I experienced anxiousness. I reflected for a moment on how my days had been lived over the previous few weeks and responded, “No, it’s not something I regularly or strongly experience; I’m more likely to feel tension in my nervous system and I easily recognise those signs.”

Following the session, and again the next morning, I reflected a bit more deeply on this and realised that there had been an underlying tension in my body for a few weeks, coinciding with a change in jobs, and I had also been biting some of my nails again after not having done so for 3 or 4 years. I had been eating more sweet and salty foods than usual, and I was feeling anxious about the workload I had, both at work and outside of it, on a number of different projects that I had been called upon to support.

On my way to work, as I sat in the train, I gave myself time and space to connect to my body with the gentle breath so it could reveal to me what was underneath the tension. What I felt was a deep and long held anxiousness that I’d not let myself feel before.

I was able to feel how I was actually anxious about surrendering completely to God, to saying yes to trusting in my connection to God and my divine purpose as a Son of God. I was anxious about letting go of being in control of the direction of my life.

As soon as I was clear on what I was anxious about and called it out, I felt myself drop into a very deep stillness, I felt held in an embrace so warm and loving and had an absolute sense of knowing that God is always with me, within me.

It never ceases to amaze me how simple it is to get a sense of clarity when one chooses to be in the gentleness and stillness of one’s breath.

As the week unfolded, I observed myself leaving this embrace, leaving the stillness and returning to a state of anxiousness. I realised I still find it difficult to fully accept and appreciate God in my life – yet he accepts me unconditionally! I am slowly but surely learning to accept that I am a Son of God and I can reflect his love every day. While total acceptance may take some time, I felt I needed to make a commitment that for the next two weeks, to stop each day and take time to connect with my breath and my body; to the stillness and sacredness that is naturally within me.

I found this a very powerful way to appreciate and accept all of who I am and, in the stillness, I am rediscovering the relationship between God and me.

This ‘stop’ has now become part of my daily ritual, a powerful way to surrender and reconnect to the wisdom of my body, and the wisdom and presence of God. My understanding of where the anxiousness comes from has also deepened so that I am now aware that at times life, or what is being asked of me, feels ‘too big, too much’. Trying to control life has therefore been about making it seem smaller and manageable. In truth, I have been trying to keep myself smaller and less than what I truly am – a Son of God, equal in all love and glory to him.

When I make my days about stillness, God and all of me, then nothing is too big; there is no need to go into anxiousness, doubting what I am capable of. My days are simpler, fuller, joyous, and my connection to God is felt within and reflected in everything around me.

My re-connection back to God and the stillness within me has been inspired by Serge Benhayon through his own living and sharing of an unwavering connection to God in every moment. 

By Michelle, Brisbane

Further Reading:
From Giving Up to Reclaiming Myself as a Son of God
What Causes Anxiousness?

827 thoughts on “Anxiousness, Stillness, God and Me

  1. “How simple it is to get a sense of clarity when one chooses to be in the gentleness and stillness of one’s breath.” I agree Michelle, connecting to our breath allows us to know and understand ourselves from our innate quality of being discerning with true clarity from our body’s inner wisdom.

  2. It’s seems to be the one thing that offers the most amazing loving supportive holding, is the one thing that I have shut out or down from and this is God. It’s a strange paradox to think I’m in control, which does set up tension and anxiousness. When surrendering to the presence of God with-in me the quality of my next choice totally changes and things become very clear, simple and spacious. I’m loving claiming God with-in me.

  3. I hadn’t considered before that the anxiousness I often feel is connected to surrendering to God and the Plan but it makes absolute sense now that I am anxious about not being in control. Thank you for the inspiration to connect to God everyday, to claim and surrender to being a Son of God and let go the control.

  4. “When I make my days about stillness, God and all of me, then nothing is too big; there is no need to go into anxiousness, doubting what I am capable of.” As I have become more still the underlying anxiousness and tension I have buried is emerging. Connecting more deeply with my body and my essence is dealing with it at last. I am appreciating that I am no longer burying emotions but clocking them and dealing with them. I find Esoteric Yoga to be an amazing modality that supports my deepening stillness.

  5. Yesterday I did attend a Livingness 1 workshop presented by Natalie Benhayon in Cologne and she offered the Gentle Breath Meditation to the group and how simple but profound way to connect back to our essence and like you shared too Michelle a sense of clarity is very simple then, as our essence doesn’t know complication, only love, very simple.

  6. I’m discovering in the controlling action all I can control is how small I make myself, then everything else looks huge! Holding myself in fullness is being open to all with the love and support of God, it is a choice.

  7. To observe ourselves and our behaviours and and allow ourselves to feel how we are is a great way to find out why we do certain things and with the clarity we then have we can take the next step and see what it takes to let go of it.

  8. I can relate to what you share of keeping myself in a state of anxiousness and not surrendering to more grace. When I do surrender I am able to feel what is needed in each moment and know how to respond.

  9. Building true stop moments into every day allows us to connect to our innate stillness within. The more we are able to surrender to the stillness the more we deepen our awareness and knowing of our multidimensionality.

  10. Hi Michelle, thank you so much for this blog – I feel like I am in exactly the same phase at the moment. There’s a constant angst and chatter in my head, almost as if I don’t trust myself to let go. I feel like I need to talk to people to “help” me, but I also don’t want to talk to anybody. I feel like I want to stay in bed, but I also feel like I want to be moving constantly – it’s almost as if I’m in a battle between my head and my body. But, it’s a great confirmation because I am starting to give a voice to my body whereas previously it has all been about my head!

  11. I have always found it difficult to imagine life without control, knowing when and how things are going to be done or happen makes me feel a sense of safety. Surrendering still holds a judgment in my mind as being irresponsible and stillness within life still feels like something unobtainable. When I have a session at Universal Medicine I always feel very still and amazing but practically with how much I have on my plate, I am scared if I bring stillness, I won’t be able to do what needs to be done but instead just want to rest and I will never come back from the surrender. I know it sounds silly and that I am my own worst enemy but it is what I feel at the moment.

  12. Thank you Michelle for a great sharing one that I can relate to very much. While doing connective tissues exercises I am becoming more aware of how much anxiousness I carry in my body, and a sense of letting go of the control and surrounding to trust God is something that I very much want to experience, but am a little afraid of.

  13. Michelle, it’s such perfect timing to read this blog today .. that in fact when we try and control and manage life rather than just being in the flow of it of course we have to be anxious! But if we surrender and let go (something I can struggle with), we met life and it meets us and it all becomes so much simpler. Thank you for reminding me today.

  14. Building my relationship with God has been life changing for me. It’s been the difference between thinking I’m doing it on my own, to realising that I’m never alone. And what an incredible illusion to bust, it’s like knocking down the flood gates to love that you have tirelessly kept maintained for eons.

  15. Anxious about surrendering completely to God – this stopped me on my track and I can feel how this is also true for me – not because I doubt it, but because I do not even give this a proper go. The angst of knowing what is available, yet not chosen.

  16. It is beautiful to feel, the truth that resides in our bodies is always ready to guide us to know how to live in connection to our essence, to our stillness, in and with God.

  17. Building stop moments into our day to connect with our breath and our body allows us to open up to a deeper awareness and steadiness in our connection that stills any anxiousness we create and builds a deeper acceptance of ourselves and the divineness of our being.

  18. I often feel anxiety in my body when I am trying to control what happens in life, letting go of this is a game changer and allows me to surrender and be part of the divine flow that beautifully supports me in life.

  19. Being anxious because of truly surrendering to God, to trust my connection and accept my divine purpose as a Son of God is definitely something I can relate to. And how this is the cause of my struggle and disregard towards my body. So thank you Michelle as I felt a surrender in my body while reading about your daily stop with a natural acceptance and appreciation of who we are.

  20. I was anxious about letting go of being in control of the direction of my life. And yet when we surrender to all life presents (with no resistance) grace can flow and all the support is available to us to take our next step, as God holds our hand to do so – when we let go of control!

  21. “When I make my days about stillness, God and all of me, then nothing is too big; there is no need to go into anxiousness, doubting what I am capable of.” This is a sure antidote to anxiousness, taking a stop moment to connect, knowing we are supported by divine love every step of the way.

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