Exposing the False Perception of a Perfect Life

I was living a seemingly perfect life and was feeling normal living with my emotions and selective memories of the good times I’ve had.

I was under the impression that I had worked out what life was about and had the illusion of being in control. I couldn’t fault anything physically as everything looked picture perfect, but there was a constant feeling that something was lacking. Life felt like a tasteless strawberry made out of plastic, but it seemed no one was aware of this except me.

About four years ago I came across the books and presentations of Serge Benhayon and found them of great interest. Every time I attended a workshop or had a conversation with Serge, everything he presented was simple and made perfect sense to me.

He was talking about self-care, self-love and being with oneself. For example, I realised there is no self-love or self-care when one makes a choice to drink alcohol or to climb Mount Everest, where the fingers might freeze and may need to be amputated surgically.

If we consider ourselves the most intelligent species on this planet, why would we consider choosing such behaviours that are so harmful to our bodies? He presented simple talks that made me reflect on my own ingrained and unloving behaviours.

However, I found the most important message was that living what you have learnt is far more powerful than just knowing it.

Once you start living the knowledge, you become the living, breathing example of this truth without needing to remember any words of wisdom. For example, when I apply cream on my body gently, with love and care, the yumminess is felt in the body, and due to this simple, self-loving act, I feel nurtured as a result.

Once that feeling is registered in my body, there is no need to remember that gently applying cream is supportive. It becomes a livingness instead of just mental knowledge and words. This livingness feels like embodying the knowledge as a natural way of being.

After every encounter with Serge Benhayon, I observed and noted the changes in my awareness.

I became more and more aware of my obvious patterns and ingrained behaviours, such as the simple act of turning on the TV. In doing so, I became aware that on many occasions, I used it to distract myself rather than dealing with something inside me that needed resolution.

I also became aware that every behaviour that did not contain a feeling of centeredness or stillness had hurt, anxiety and nervousness hidden underneath it. I saw that my lack of life skills (the arrogance delivered through my mind would not agree, but this is a fact) made it difficult for me to deal with many situations in life. I observed how I often wanted to run away, or push someone away, blame others and manipulate situations.

All these things were OK in my so-called ‘normal’ life, but they were not loving. They were just ways to merely cope with life.

Today I feel that I’m living my life with more awareness than I ever had before and this is ongoing and ever deepening.

I have found that self-awareness is the key to my evolution and is what brings me true joy in life. This awareness allows me to see things as they truly are and has completely changed my perception of life.

In this constant flux of self-awareness, I ask myself:

  • How did I wake up from my bed? Is my body refreshed and ready for another day or do I need to drag myself out of bed because I have to go to work or to do something that needs to be done?
  • How am I walking? Am I walking with loving feet or just to get from one place to another to get the job done?
  • How am I eating? Am I eating to nurture myself, or just to put the food in my body to get through the day; or do I want to distract myself by consuming certain comfort foods so I do not feel what’s really going on in a situation?
  • How am I speaking? Am I present and in connection with the person I’m talking to?

The list goes on for every activity in my life, with awareness and love being at the core of every one of them.

The more I choose to be present in each moment, the more I can express from self-awareness.

My life has become an amazing journey and the fun part is that the loveliness never ends and is forever evolving.

by Haresh

Further Reading:
Self-abuse Under the Umbrella of Making it Right
A Sacred Relationship with Self – Inspired by Natalie Benhayon
Choosing Stop Moments in My Life

760 thoughts on “Exposing the False Perception of a Perfect Life

  1. I too find that when I spend time with Serge or listen to his presentations I get a fresh perspective on many things in my life and it allows me to let go of what I had been holding onto and see things with a fresh perspective.

  2. ‘The more I choose to be present in each moment, the more I can express from self-awareness.’ When we are able to express from how and what we feel the more able we are to communicate more fully with those around us.

  3. ‘The more I choose to be present in each moment, the more I can express from self-awareness.’ Well said Haresh. Somehow, everything presents itself to be read clearly when we allow ourselves enough space to feel it.

  4. I love your example of rubbing cream in your body becoming an example of livingness. We all can have similar moments of livingness whether it is how we put our shoes on, comb our hair, or make the bed and taking a moment to appreciate what we are bringing to ourselves by these loving actions supports us in our consistency to be more loving in other ways.

  5. Gorgeous to read Haresh, thank you for sharing, that with self awareness we can bring love into every moment of every day with every thing that we do, this is true livingness. Your loving feet bring a smile to my face for the beautiful man I know you to be.

  6. I love this Haresh ‘Once you start living the knowledge, you become the living, breathing example of this truth without needing to remember any words of wisdom.’ Very true and the way you live becomes very inspiring to others, our reflection is way more powerful than any words we could say to another.

  7. “If we consider ourselves the most intelligent species on this planet, why would we consider choosing such behaviours that are so harmful to our bodies?” – this is a very good question! I think we’ve allowed ourselves to be quite seriously dishonest about the amount that we abuse our bodies because we have the remedies to keep us going for longer and because we’ve given up on being who we truly are in the world. Serge Benhayon gives great clarity on why we do things that harm us and others; getting to the root of our ill behaviours is what will truly help us to change.

  8. Serge Benhayons books seem to have this affect on people, as they begin to question the “norm” its interesting how so many people all round the world have been brave enough to make monumental changes for their health and well-being after either meeting Serge or reading one of his books. The power of one comes to mind when reflecting on this, we all have this power, as individuals we might think that our life choices are a private affair but everyone is watching and feeling every move we make and we are either harming or healing the on looker, in other words inspiring, as Serge does with the way he lives and writes, or you are leading others astray from your own wayward choices.

    1. Great point Sarah. I’ve been noticing that there is a huge amount of information out there that promises ‘a better life’ but it all feels empty and hyped up. In the past I would have gobbled this stuff up like a vacuum and then wondered why I couldn’t manage to put any of these ‘amazing tips’ into action. Since meeting Serge I have begun to see through the desperate hype to the simplicity of connecting to my own soul. Now that is a life hack!

  9. Even the juiciest, tastiest, freshest strawberry pales in comparison to the yumminess of living The Livingness and true connection.

  10. Once we start to look at it, it is incredible how ingrained our loveless choices can be: we’ve adopted them as ways to manage and get through life, erroneously thinking that they are part of us when they are simply not. Turning these around can feel like turning around an oil tanker in mid-flow, but by observing ourselves and our choices, without criticism, and by building on one choice after another to take care of ourselves, slowly things start to change.

  11. I find with self-awareness comes understanding and blame and avoidance melt away. I can be in reaction and if I stop and look at what am I reacting to, it’s like I step out of a constricted room into more space and more awareness.

  12. Self awareness opens us up to feel what is going on in our lives and gives us the choice to make changes it is the key to our evolution.

  13. Beautiful Haresh, your list of self-awareness is awesome. I am inspired to ask myself these question more and more, they remind me to bring more love and care to every choice I make and to support myself to deepen my connection in my every movement throughout my day.

  14. Developing self-care and self-awareness following the inspiration of Serge Benhayon; “My life has become an amazing journey and the fun part is that the loveliness never ends and is forever evolving.”

  15. ‘The more I choose to be present in each moment, the more I can express from self-awareness.’ I love the simplicity shared in this blog Haresh and the beautiful unfolding and the awareness you have built that supports you to continually evolve.

  16. “The more I choose to be present in each moment, the more I can express from self-awareness.” This is a chicken-and-egg phenomena, the more self-awareness develops so the ability to being present deepens.

  17. There is a very clear and wonderful message in this blog, which I find actually very humbling – the difference between knowledge and lived experience. The knowledge being something that identifies us, and lived experience being that which expands our understanding.

    1. Beautiful Shami and a brilliant summary. The irony is, that we think that we are being identified through knowledge, yet we could not be further from the truth of who we truly are. As you have shared, our knowing and wisdom comes through living in connection to who we are, where our true intelligence far exceeds any given knowledge that exists in this world.

      1. And living with knowledge opens up opportunities for identification, self-gain and competition, whereas living with wisdom and connecting to our body (true intelligence) there is the feeling of expansion and learning.

  18. When we start to open up our awareness we are able to feel far more deeply the true impact our ingrained and unloving behaviours have on our body and the opportunity to change our choices to honour how our body is truly feeling. It is only through building a consistency of connection with ourselves through our body that we are able to build a quality to the way we are living.

  19. “My life has become an amazing journey and the fun part is that the loveliness never ends and is forever evolving.” To wake in the morning with this outlook for the coming day is such a joy.

  20. Thank you Haresh for sharing how living with self-love develops our awareness, of whether the choices we make are supporting us or harming us. As such when we live in connection to who we are within, our essence, we live with our presence and through which the richness, magic and realness of life unfolds, far exceeding any illusion offered through the picture of a ‘perfect’ life.

  21. “Once that feeling is registered in my body, there is no need to remember that gently applying cream is supportive. It becomes a livingness instead of just mental knowledge and words.” When I read this it helped me appreciate just how many changes I have made for myself that have have become just the way I now live rather than doing something as part of a tick box exercise.

  22. The part you shared about eating to nourish our body or to get through the day is a great reminder for me to pay more attention to choose foods to nourish my body instead of just filling it up. I am appreciating how loving it is to build a relationship with food that truly supports my body. Learning to self-care and self-love has assisted me to eliminate foods I never thought was possible. Some foods I was eating were causing my body more harm than good, foods like sugar, gluten, dairy etc.

  23. “Living what you have learnt is far more powerful than just knowing it.”
    It takes a lot of work to live something that we know about, and in this process, when we live something that actually benefits the body, there is a form of wisdom that comes alive. This wisdom is one that others can then be inspired by and learn and live likewise.

  24. A great blog thanks Haresh, smashing the pictures we hold of what it means to have a ‘perfect’ life is very freeing… what you have described makes it very clear that there is a richness to be had that makes perfect seem cold, empty and meaningless.

  25. Self-awareness is a great way to approach our day-to-day, or moment-to-moment interactions as, without bringing self-awareness to them we can pretend they just happen and abdicate responsibility for what and why we are making that choice.

    1. Beautifully said Lucy – by avoiding awareness we don’t have to take responsibility for why we are choosing to do what we do. But on the other hand, being more aware will let us see and feel the beauty we truly are and what doesn’t belong in our lives that doesn’t compliment or deepen that quality. Responsibility really is a beautiful gift.

      1. This is a great gift for me this morning Rachael as I found myself in an old pattern last night that had a consequence on the way I slept and how I feel this morning. I was wondering why I had done what I had done and could see the importance of what I had avoided and bingo…it was awareness. Looking back I was feeling myself stepping away from my connection and I wanted to pretend I didn’t notice, once I got on a roll I was so far away that it just got easier and easier to do. Taking responsibility for those decisions today means I now have another opportunity to re-imprint. Thanks for the session Rachael!!!

  26. This from my experience is the only way, “living what you have learnt is far more powerful than just knowing it.” There was always a message when I was growing up, there was always people you could listen to for hours and others you couldn’t listen to for 5 minutes, people that have lived a part of life and then were able to relate it back to you were like watching the best movie ever. There was people that always had you captivated, not by drama but by how they were, the way the relayed what was going on. It was like you were learning from listening, like they through what they had seen were giving you an opportunity to see the same. I remember this at school as well, some classes you would fall asleep in and others you didn’t care what was being said it was just great to listen to the person. Nothing for me ever really sunk in unless it had a physical element or action to it, you had to relate it to life for me and then I would see it clearly. This is what makes a difference in the world for me, people who can bring you an awareness about what is happening in the world and it can only come from living it.

  27. I love the analogy of life feeling like a tasteless strawberry made out of plastic. I really get that. I can relate to trying to live the perfect life. In fact I have recently let go of my expectations of what a ‘good’ day should look like, especially in terms of how much work I should do and how my relationships should be. I have realised what a pressure I was putting on myself and how it was a set up to almost never be content. Letting go of the expectations has brought a simplicity to how my days pan out, and in allowing things to unfold, rather than trying to control, I have been experiencing really great days.

  28. I love your example of applying cream on the body gently. The Ageless Wisdom is so profound yet so very simple – if we live it, there’s no need to memorise the knowledge, it is ours to live and becomes our new normal.

  29. I remember the first time I heard that living the truth was far more important than being able to say true words. It made absolute sense to me and completely changed my life. I love the clarity you express with Haresh. It’s clear you are walking the talk.

  30. Living with my body is a forever continuing unfolding; this choice has opened an awareness from inside that I had sullied and ignored. Nowadays this awareness is becoming my ‘right hand man’, as it never fails in presenting to me what is there to feel.

  31. What has been beautifully described here is how it is possible to always go deeper with understanding and care, so there is no limit to how understanding and caring any one person can be; it is simply the act of living that brings this out and what a lovely out-bringing this is.

  32. This sentence says a lot about how we interact with each other and how our insecurities, doubts and fears can be the driving force behind our actions. “I also became aware that every behaviour that did not contain a feeling of centeredness or stillness had hurt, anxiety and nervousness hidden underneath it.”
    It also highlights the responsibility we have to go deeper than our own insecurities to the steady still knowing within before we respond to what presents in our life.

  33. Your example of applying cream to your body to show how living the knowledge we learn becomes a lived wisdom, a livingness in our bodies is so simple yet very powerful for me.

  34. I find that the consistency we have with these simple daily tasks just like applying cream to our bodies so tenderly allows us the space to explore how we feel in these moments and from there we gain a greater insight into our connection with our body and the awareness builds from there. Finding the joy and absolute appreciation for ourselves and the care we take in these simple daily tasks is very confirming too.

  35. Today I feel like I am at the beginning of a new layer of learning about self care and will take your suggestions with me. I appreciate your comment about anything we do that is not in connection is done to avoid something and have to agree, not that I wanted to but observation is a powerful tool for honesty!!!

  36. Working in health I see that giving health advice does not work or health education from the perspective of this is good for you and that is not. Unless it comes from the experiences of someone who is living it. Otherwise, it’s just words with no livingness, making the words empty. It’s all become a tick box exercise, where I have done this and said that so I can tick it off my list. Rather than simply connecting with another and delivering what is needed in that moment.

  37. True body awareness holds the key to unlock our old and well used patterns and beliefs and to then bring a deeper understanding to why we still hold these patterns to bring a new quality of moving with the body in a more loving and harmonious way. Showing us that our connection to our bodies is the true intelligence and wisdom that holds the key for a truly vital life.

  38. The more we wake up to ourselves, i.e become aware of how we are in life, the more we can understand that a lot of what we do doesn’t match the quality of being-ness and love we can connect to.

  39. Selective memories that focus only on our good times merely encourage us to bury what we don’t want to deal with. In turn, what remains buried we are unable to let go of and this accumulates all the more until we end up with an avalanche of this back log creating insurmountable pressure and we are forced to clear it.

  40. “…living what you have learnt is far more powerful than just knowing it.”

    This is a great point that cannot be emphasised enough – until it is lived, it cannot truly be known.

  41. When we talk from knowledge without having lived what we are talking about, we only add to the avalanche of information, advice and opinions that we already have so much of, everywhere one cares to look.

  42. Life today is about staying in a momentum and not wanting to feel what is going on. When we settle our stuff comes up to be looked at, when we stay in a momentum we are able to keep going and not address this but it is always there under the surface and there is a constant tension that we then feel.

  43. Allowing truth to emerge and speak through our body, instead of running away from it is a great decision we all are available to do. After that, evolution is the only way forward.

  44. What I get from your blog is the importance of not being hard on ourselves or judging ourselves but understanding that it is a process of unfolding and letting go and that it is a learning and not something we need to be hard on ourselves for as patterns have a momentum and it takes time and many learning opportunities to re-imprint them.

  45. I can relate to getting caught in the illusion of being in control thinking my life was running smoothly but really it was not so smooth underneath. There was quite a hardness in my body from walking round in protection and holding back. I have also been inspired to build a connection to my body and with a deepening awareness I am now far more caring of myself as a result of listening and honouring what my body is communicating which is slowly building a quality of connection that impulses me to open up and engage with life instead of hiding and holding back.

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