What’s in a Saying?

This morning I realised the impact that certain common sayings have had in affecting my choices throughout my life. We tend to think that a saying or proverb is used by a loved one with fondness, as an ‘endearing’ turn of phrase, but are they really supporting us?

As a young girl, one saying I can remember clearly being told to me regularly by my Gran was, “Cold hands, warm heart.” I remember her having very cold hands so it was reassuring to me that she had a warm heart.

The more disturbing fact was that I grew up having warm hands myself all the time, and lived with a little niggle at the back of my mind for many years that my heart would never be as warm as my Grandma’s.

I have to say my hands are not always so warm now, but whatever their temperature I never worry about the warmth in my heart.

I was planning to go for a walk this morning as we had the first sunny day in ages. One of my mother’s favorite sayings was, “Out you go and don’t waste your day,” which she used as she hustled us outdoors as soon as the rain stopped, and this came to mind as I looked at the sun this morning.

I could not decide where to go and was just putting on my shoes when I realised my body was needing to be still, not to walk, and despite the unusually warm morning and the lovely sun, I did not want to go outside. This morning I had gone into “Out you go, don’t waste your day” mode, (a common trap) rather than listening to my body and what it needed. So instead of walking, I chose to lie down for a gorgeous esoteric yoga session and connect to the stillness within. It would be this stillness that I would take with me later if I chose to walk.

There are so many proverbs and sayings used in our everyday language and we maybe each have our own familiar ones we grew up with or identify with, and which perhaps still return to now and again, influencing our choices if we don’t catch them.

Here are a few of the many that I have come across at times:

“When the going gets tough, the tough get going.”

Definition – Push harder when something is not working.

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” 

Definition – if something is working, regardless of its quality, there is no reason to change it.

“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.” 

Definition – if your way of doing something is not working, do it as others do, even if you don’t agree with their way.

“Familiarity breeds contempt.” 

Definition – If you get too close to someone, you will lose respect for them. 

Reading the above sayings now I can see that they: 

  • Deliver no truth
  • Feel empty
  • Encourage comparison
  • Discourage unity 
  • Ask us not to trust our inner feelings

Could it be that most sayings actually can stunt our communication and are used when we are unwilling to go deeper with our expression?

And could sayings be having a negative impact on our lives and the choices we are making? Could they actually provide us with an excuse to remain comfortable with the status quo, fit in with others, avoid intimacy and thus give us an excuse not to shine? As we can see from the examples above, what seems at first like an innocent comment does not hold truth yet can be taken on as true.

As a student of Universal Medicine I have many times opened my Esoteric and Exoteric Philosophy ‘The Sayings’ book by Serge Benhayon. The sayings in this book don’t just speak to my mind as rules to obey or regurgitate: as I read, I can feel the words in my whole body – they vibrate throughout my cells.

Sometimes this leaves me feeling expanded and light and other times I feel a tension in my body. This tension is a gift for it is telling me I am more than I am choosing to live and is pulling me up to my next level of evolution.

Each word carries equal importance and reading these sayings I am left to simply feel me – all of me. No ideals or beliefs asking me to hold back, fit in, push harder, stop shining, but words which expose evil and inspire me to be more responsible in life. There is a depth and wealth of knowledge within these words that no other book of sayings can even touch on.

This is a book of sayings that delivers Truth. It asks us to consider that we are so much more than human beings using function as the way to get through life, and that we are living a long way from our true, natural way of being.

Through these heaven-sent words we are reminded that in our essence we are all love and we can all return home to love if we choose it. It reminds us that we are held in the magnificence of God’s love always.

‘Taking energetic responsibility for all that one does and all that one says and thinks is truth in power, for one will see exactly how we can harm or heal in all that we do, say and think. That’s true power!’ (Esoteric and Exoteric Philosophy “The Sayings” by Serge Benhayon, p 181)

My appreciation and love for Serge Benhayon is forever deepening. Expression is everything and the truth and love expressed through all of Serge Benhayon’s books is absolute.

By Jane Torvaney, Physiotherapist, Scotland

Further Reading:
Serge Benhayon – the Author
Books by Serge Benhayon
Rebuilding my Hard Body with Care

705 thoughts on “What’s in a Saying?

  1. As I read this today I thought about how I can make off the cuff remarks. Today, I am going to pay attention to all I express to be aware that it is the truth that I know and feel.

  2. Great observation Jane, as you say we can use sayings and allow them to influence our choices. I always wonder what someone really wants to express when they use a saying to capture the moment because there is so much more to be expressed and a far more loving way to express it too.

  3. Yes it is easy to say something, and if you keep saying it, you and other people will start believing it and eventually it will become “true” because everybody is saying it. It is so easy to repeat and believe something that you have heard on the internet.
    So many of our beliefs start like this.
    When Serge Benhayon presented that you can feel the truth of something, that made more sense to me.
    It has taken me awhile to feel the truth of this because I had lost confidence in myself that I do know when something is right.
    Now I will listen to anyone but am feeling more of what is really going, so I can make a better choice as to whether it is “true” or not.

  4. It’s actually pretty intense when you think about it. We have actually lived according to some of these strings of words. How crazy is that? My favourite one has always been ‘ what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. It was about 7 years ago now where I had an epiphany about that saying. I realised that actually – it was more like ‘ what doesn’t kill you makes you harder’. I had always lived in a way that I would push myself to be better, to always take the most difficult route, to prepare myself for life, made sure I built up enough thick skin to get through. What a fat load of no good that did for me!

  5. Great article Jane, I can so relate to sayings that were around in my day and the effect they have had and still do at times on my life. They were used to cap my joy, keep me confined to a set of beliefs to fit into societies standards, so very controlling. I love the book by Serge Benhayon “The Sayings” these are true sayings calling us to live the love we are, delivering truth in every word for our evolution.

  6. I am in total agreement Jane that we are: “so much more than human beings using function as the way to get through life, and that we are living a long way from our true, natural way of being”. Could it be that this is because we have been programmed through the many beliefs handed on down to us, which include so many of these life stifling sayings, to believe that we are not the amazing human beings that we naturally are? Letting go of these destructive beliefs and no longer giving one ounce of credence to these sayings would be a great place to begin to re-claim our amazingness.

  7. Jane, you bring up such an interesting topic. So often these expressions/phrases are said off the cuff or to fill a gap. It’s not true expression, but a borrowed phrase that doesn’t hold truth. I really enjoyed reading this and will certainly think twice when I hear or consider one of these phrases.

  8. Contemplating on what you have shared here Jane, I can see that all these sayings have over time become normal to us, accepted as the truth, never questioned and often fiercely guarded if someone dares to challenge their veracity. Maybe if we all stopped and really felt in to these sayings we may start to question if they are actually true and why have been believing and acting on them for so long.

  9. When I read the sayings you have highlighted Jane I could feel the constriction and control but when I read the sayings in the book by Serge Benhayon Esoteric and Exoteric Philosophy ‘The Sayings’ I feel the expansion and invitation to be more of who I am.

  10. It is sad to feel how so many of us allow saying we heard during childhood to hold sway over us,very often into our elder years. What a difference it would make if we were taught from a young age to discern everything that was said to us. if this were the case I feel many of the imposing sayings directed towards us, would simply fall by the wayside.

  11. With awareness our responsibility grows for we are faced with the facts of how the choices we make day by day affect, not just our life, but the lives of others as well.

  12. I agree with all you share here Jane the truth and love expressed through Serge’s books is absolute and offers the reader an opportunity to reflect and to embrace the truth and how this supports us to express more of who we truly are.

  13. Your appreciation for truth and the sayings brought through by Serge Benhayon is absolutely gorgeous Jane. True sayings are worth appreciating too because they support us to heal.

    1. True sayings that come from truth support evolution and deepening; they can shake us up or confirm us, they always deliver.

  14. Living how we should instead of living from how we feel is indeed a common trap that I can fall into. We allow ourselves to be governed by ideals and beliefs. As I let go of these ideals and beliefs I get to feel more and therefore make choices that support my body. It is truly allowing myself to feel as to what is being said whether that is a saying, or not, to determine whether it is true or not.

  15. Thank you Jane for exposing the harm that comes from these sayings and many sayings that currently exist and have carried through in our society. It is so true that mostly they are capping and hobbling our true potential, sanctioning us to dismiss all that we are and are here to live. This certainly calls on embracing our responsibility, to be aware of and discern the quality of energy that is being delivered when sayings are used, do they call us to be all that we truly are or excuse us and justify why we are choosing to be less.

  16. I’d never really given much thought to the sayings that float around in our society. Similar to the ones listed within the article there are many more that pop in at different times and it’s almost like a way of explaining something that is going on but not explaining it to any depth. Perhaps that’s why we call them ‘throw away lines’ because they don’t allow you to see things at any real depth but more give a relief that they have a place, even though you may not understand them. I remember this feeling now, when I have used a saying to explain something and been left with a bemused look on my face but shrugged my shoulders and moved on. If something has come up in a way that needs us to look at it then to throw it away only confirms it’s return at some point. These saying seem like that detract from you feeling more into things and allowing more understanding to come to you and then allow the same thing almost to return to you again and again. I’ll be more aware of when one of these sayings just pops into my mind to dismiss something that is going on.

  17. Amazing how the ideals and beliefs so insidiously weave themselves into the way things are as society and as an individual through those sayings. When we start dissecting life, allowing the simplicity and the wisdom of our body to come to the foreground, it is not that hard to see how everything is energy. Even a simple word or a saying is imbued with an energy of a kind. And we can feel it as a curse or a blessing.

  18. Just how much are we conditioned to not hold our quality from within. Words, sayings, behaviors, ideals of how life is ‘supposed’ to be and beliefs. If we truly contemplate how much of our life this influences, and noisily wipes out our choice to choose our quality before we move, we would be astounded by the influence that they have over us.

  19. Our language shapes us and the sayings we have been surrounded by from early childhood can certainly feel like prison walls, trying to get us to conform and not rock the boat. How about “the early bird catches the worm?” Are we being told here to go out, no matter how we are feeling; to not check in with the body in the pursuit of some gain?

  20. There is so much information in the way we use words. Not only the information that the words mean by themselves, but also the energetic imprint behind them. When we allow ourselves to feel the whole meaning of a sentence, as well as its intent, we can feel the imposition or the expansion that comes with it, and then we are free to let them in, affecting our lives or not.

  21. It really shows the need to discern everything, sometimes I find that some of the old sayings do hold a seed of truth and other times they are the opposite of truth – what I find is important with whatever is communicated to us is that we feel whether it is a truth for us or not.

  22. We have misused words so much, that it is more foreign for us to actually question what they mean, than it is to just say them because they are familiar. I love that you are questioning the status quo and bringing it to everyone’s attention how off some of the things we say actually are.

    1. So true Sarah. It also feels like sayings are a lazy excuse to not express what we really feel, as they are already there in circulation, familiar as you say, and a safe way to say something that fits in.

  23. Thank you Jane for sharing, it is true in my experience these saying are there to cap us to keep us with the status quo, to keep us small to fit in and not live the love we are. The total opposite to that are the saying by Serge, that call us to come up to who we truly are, step into our power and divine love as the true sons of God that we are all equally and shine this love out to others that they too may arise.

  24. I can relate to so many of those sayings Jane. “Could it be that most sayings actually can stunt our communication and are used when we are unwilling to go deeper with our expression?” A great point – these sayings are used as token expressions. Keeping everything superficial is the name of the game here – which also keeps us in protection and separation away from other people.

  25. Jane this is so important as how many of us are brought up with sayings that subconsciously or consciously are energetically debilitating in some way yet we accept them as normal or do not even question them. The definitions you have given of just a few sayings clearly exposes this as you are so on point with what you have shared. And I completely agree when you open and read any of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicines books, particularly the Esoteric and Exoteric and Philosophy ‘The Sayings’ book as well as the ‘Esoteric Teachings and Revelations’ the truth of what is expressed here is clearly felt in the body and yet in unimposing on the reader giving instead the opportunity to ponder on what has been presented and hence giving the opportunity to expand and truly evolve from within .. completely different to the sayings we are brought up with.

  26. Cold hands can never be a sign for a warm heart. What this reveals is (a) how much we accept as part of what it is the part that is not it and (b) the extent to which we are ‘helped’ to naturalize that by our language.

  27. Oh My Gosh … what a plethora of sayings there are in our culture to reinforce dysfunctional behaviour… definitely time for some new bumper stickers…suggestions?? ☺

  28. Spot on Jane, these sayings can be considered quite normal and innocent in society, but I find some can be quite harming and actually block me from truly expressing or connecting with another.

  29. A lot of the sayings that circulate in our society, as you have shared, do not represent the truth of who we are or call us to embrace more of who we are, and in fact work to keep us in comfort and capped from exploring our true potential. They are much like a curse that we keep alive amongst us, which we substitute for expressing the truth we feel, which essentially keeps us from evolving. It is our responsibility to discern what quality it is that is being shared through the words or sayings we allow in our society – do they empower or seek to dis-empower?

  30. Great nominations Jane and exposure of how much we can be reduced by careless words. We all have responsibility for how we choose to express and I find that I am feeling much less pressure to fill space with meaningless or harmful words but can slip back into it if I am not careful as it has been such an engrained habit.

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