I recall as a young adult wondering if there could be a cause and effect going on in life and if I would ever understand ‘why things happen’. This question seemed to immediately bring a realisation that it was possible that things didn’t just happen randomly; that there may be a reason for the sudden bad mood or lost school report and there may even be something behind the seemingly random illness or accident… Since then I have discovered that life can be understood and as a result I no longer feel like a passenger on a runaway train – allowing things to happen to me without taking initiative to choose the quality of my path to be one that feels true for me.
At first glance one may casually think the sayings in this title mean the same thing, but I have just realised that I know and understand them as representing two different philosophies or approaches to life, which are as different as water and vodka. They may look alike but with a closer ‘smell’ you know they won’t go down with the same effect. I find one way to be nourishing and to leave me in the totality of my interconnectedness where the other way feels un-natural and toxic to my being, leaving me checked out, not feeling myself and cut off from the intricate support that is available to us all.
“It was meant to be” represents a given-up attitude where I am not taking responsibility for understanding my part in what happens.
I used to visit the ‘meant-to-be’ camp quite often, back when I had given up in so many little ways on being the whole true ‘me’ in the world – I had accepted being much less than I am. I was hiding; I did not feel deserving, I felt empty and was settling for much less than love in all areas of my life. I was unaware of how much I had compromised and how irresponsible I had become by softening what I felt and knew to be true by not claiming myself. During these years I was depressed, I felt very lost, needy, alone, unguided and unsupported and I made many reckless and harmful choices.
However, once I started to realise that it was my own choices and reactions which got me into the unhappy situations I was in and that it would be my choices and responses to life that would get me out I realised that everything does happen ‘for a reason’. This was a turning point for me where my choices and my experience of life started to truly change and I knew that the “it was meant to be” mentality wasn’t supporting me at all.
“Everything happens for a reason” represents an understanding that comes with responsibility and a deep commitment to life.
With the teachings of The Ancient Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon, and with consistent support from Simple Living Global, I have been inspired to re-develop and deepen my self-honesty and commitment to myself and to life. I have been learning to observe and feel my own body and things around me and as a result I have been gaining more and more understanding and awareness about why things happen and how I have a part in it all.
I have never heard anyone express such deep common sense as Serge Benhayon on the vast subjects of who we are, why we’re here and what is going on in humanity. While we have had a scattering of true world teachers throughout history, none of our world’s current, recent or well-known so-called religious, spiritual or social leaders have offered us such a deeply honest, in-depth and compassionate understanding of what is going on as Serge Benhayon has so tangibly done. It is with immense love and commitment to humanity that Serge presents the full energetic Truth; un-compromised, un-bastardised and not held back in fear of rocking our rotting boat. Because of his courage we now have immense support in seeing our own way out of our mess.
The absolute responsibility and utter common sense this man lives and presents has woken me up to what I already knew but have been pushing aside for far too long…
I no longer buy into the “it’s meant to happen” or “things just happen” consciousness because I can see that so much has led up to each situation. I understand that I have played a big part in the set up and repetition of all of my issues, so it follows that I hold a responsibility to learn from my choices… I am realising that I have far more support and guidance to do this than I have taken advantage of. I see how intricate life lessons naturally formulate to support us in coming back to balance; in coming back to ourselves and to each other. I feel there is a greater Understanding or Consciousness, a True Love or Unity in which we are all held; in other words, I feel God. I am seeing that essentially every thing that happens offers me a chance to choose more awareness and understanding, and when I don’t then I am creating/forming another similar (often stronger) lesson.
When I commit to deepening my self-honesty and listening to the gentle nudges, messages and signs, I then move into truthfulness which allows me to be more-of-me instead of investing deeper in my avoidance techniques (which take me further away from being who I am) and then needing the painful and/or dramatic ‘wake-up calls’.
There is a reason that everything ultimately offers us a chance to correct ourselves out of a disharmonious way of being and back to a more loving and natural Way.
With more awareness has come a huge understanding of responsibility; the very thing I have been avoiding for a very long time… but what comes with this is also a sense of true support consistently offered to every one of us to learn about exactly what we need help with from where we are. ‘Help’ often does not come in the way we want it but in the way we need it. For example, I used to go-and-go despite recurring dreams that my cars had no brakes… I had to develop exhaustion before I got serious about changing my reckless behaviour by learning to take care of myself and being more present and self-honouring.
Looking back on my life I can see that my big illnesses came when my life had become very toxic to me. When I have taken on or run too much emotion through my body for too long, it reaches a point where my soul lovingly accumulates the poison/unloving energy to push it out with an illness. This offers me an opportunity to heal and/or choose differently so I can live this life (or if I go too far, start my next life) in a body with less of the poison and more of the true love/energy I am meant to run on.
If we don’t correct our out-of-harmony-way-of-being, eventually we run into the greater rhythm of the Universe. And then a correction may occur in the same way as our body physiology is continuously correcting, discharging and healing little parts for the integrity of the whole.
If I am very out of whack, that ‘correction’ can be a big slam, but the more I take steps toward myself and the more I take responsibility the more I am met with support all around. I have felt this as a tangible ‘cause and effect’ over the past few years. As I have been developing a foundation of self-care I have found that supportive elements I have previously struggled for (but been unable to acquire or maintain) now come along without effort. In this I see that I hold the keys to my life and I feel held by God.
When I am out of whack I feel that Love, without a speck of judgment, lets me know when I am behaving in a way that is dis-harmonious, like when I am working in a less-than-loving way and the vacuum cleaner cord gets hung up in unbelievable ways to show me that I need to stop and re-set myself by breathing or moving more gently. I can lie to myself and deny this message by cursing (blaming) God, the vacuum or the world for ‘making things hard for me’, or I can be open to learning by stopping to get honest and ask, “OK, why is this happening?”. When I don’t feel quite myself it is as if my natural flow is disturbed and this is also disturbing to all around me, and I know it is my responsibility to correct myself.
Gaining a clear understanding that there are two thoroughly different ways of living (two different consciousnesses, which Serge Benhayon has illuminated for us all) has inspired me to come back to a position of self-empowerment, understanding and a place of greater responsibility; the responsibility to simply commit to myself and to life so I can get out of the “it was meant to be” camp and get on with living my truth and to living life more lovingly and joyfully by bringing out who I really am to share with the world.
More and more I am making choices based on the wisdom that comes from my body; these are always loving and supportive decisions and through this experience I know that what I need truly is inside me.
This ‘common sense’ is the Universal Love that Serge Benhayon lives and consistently shares as an inspiration for all.
By Jo Elmer, Magic Rags Cleaning & Organising, Concord, CA, USA
Further Reading:
Are We Taking Responsibility For Our Own Lives?
Who is Serge Benhayon?
The Art of Being Me
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Understanding how words are so important energetically then when we start to understand how Love is interpreted makes so much difference, as you have shared Jo.
Our bodies are constantly communicating with us all the time, you had dreams Jo about driving cars with no brakes. I always had dreams where I was sitting in the passenger seat of the car I was supposed to be driving. I felt this was telling me that I was not the master of my body. I haven’t had a dream showing me this for years. So I know that I have mastered my body in as much as my mind has less control than it did, as for years, I would say I was a walking mind only, I was completely disconnected to my body.
Honesty offers me the space to learn and to understand where my reactions, attachments or needs comes from. Having a relationship with myself based on this quality empowers me to accept my healing process and to hold myself lovingly no matter what. This approach to life based on the Ancient Wisdom supports me to understand that all that happens in life has its energetic root. By going deeper I can understand all that on the surface may cause a reaction or judgment. Then I can heal and let go…
A relationship with self based on self-honesty and commitment is a great step towards loving and adoring self, ‘I have been inspired to re-develop and deepen my self-honesty and commitment to myself and to life’.
Simply, the living truth of words brings things like ‘making sense’ and decency and respect energetically assessable, so they become a part our living way as in, The Way of The Livingness and understanding the energetic truth of words brings so much to our evolution.
Responsibility, offers us so much, and as we become more aware we open up ourselves to deepening our relationship with divinity and divine purpose.
gregbarnes888 I can relate to what you are saying, I became more aware the other day that I wanted something sweet to eat. I stopped what I was doing and asked my self what was going on. I have such a caring relationship with my body now that I know if I eat sugar it races me so that I do not feel myself; there’s a disconnection. The thoughts I had were tempting me to eat something sweet, but I appreciate myself so much now that to have those few seconds of sweetness in my mouth before I swallowed the sweet something was not worth the disconnection to me it would bring, as not only would I disconnect from myself but to everyone else, as we are all held in the one body of god and everyone can feel everything all the time, so it becomes not about me but about everyone. That’s our relationship with divinity and divine purpose.
Absoulutely Mary, and may I add that every step we take towards these divine relationships makes it simpler to feel the ill energy trying to get us to disconnect through our movements long before we see the chocolate.
Responsibility is super important, ‘I have been learning to observe and feel my own body and things around me and as a result I have been gaining more and more understanding and awareness about why things happen and how I have a part in it all.’
Thanks Joy this brings responsibility into a more moment by moment experience, noting how our quality is and how we are impacting on our environment and those around us – “When I don’t feel quite myself it is as if my natural flow is disturbed and this is also disturbing to all around me, and I know it is my responsibility to correct myself.”
Absoulutely otherwise we are simply living a lie in all we do when we leave our the process of using our will to self-correct.
This is a great read because it allows us to feel just how out of whack we all are with ourselves and the universe, and we have no one to blame but ourselves because we stood by and allowed it all to happen.
It is so empowering when we know and understand that life happens through the choices we make, including our health. All we have to do is choose a different way ✨
Energetically we hold Responsibility for so much, then as we become more aware we open up ourselves to deepening our relationship with everyone as we are responsible for all our choices and to reflect the divine purpose we can all obtain.
Yes Vicky, the choices we make have a big impact on our lives, ‘ I started to realise that it was my own choices and reactions which got me into the unhappy situations I was in and that it would be my choices and responses to life that would get me out I realised that everything does happen ‘for a reason’.’
This is a great read because Jo expresses the truth about Serge Benhayon. There is no rah rah just the fact that Serge Benhayon talks such deep common sense on a huge array of subjects, his understanding surpasses any scientist because he is at one with the universe, he does not try to own anything. Whereas to me, scientists try to own what they know and so talk down to people. Serge Benhayon is by contrast a great leveler, he talks to you not at you.
What Serge Benhayon shares makes complete sense, thank God that we have him here to support our return to Love and Truth, ‘It is with immense love and commitment to humanity that Serge presents the full energetic Truth; un-compromised, un-bastardised and not held back in fear of rocking our rotting boat. Because of his courage we now have immense support in seeing our own way out of our mess.’
‘If we don’t correct our out-of-harmony-way-of-being, eventually we run into the greater rhythm of the Universe.’ I know the arrogant part of me does take on the universe and thinks somehow it can get away with it. But like a loving parent the universe says no, that’s enough now and allows all the ill choices to be felt and, when I have sense enough, for me to surrender and release.
When we say everything happens for a reason it gives us an opportunity not to be a victim but instead to take a few steps back and to read things energetically. I have definitely not lived this but am starting to a bit more now and it is really supportive because it gives me space to understand things more and to change my actions, behaviours or thoughts if I need to.
I grew up hearing the words – ‘it was meant to be’ – echoing around me regularly and as a result I began to use them too, but in the process, I can see how I developed a victim mentality, believing that everything happened to me, not because of me. Letting of the victim and taking responsibility for my choices in life has me seeing so very clearly that, ‘everything happens for a reason’
The irony that you ‘used to go-and-go despite recurring dreams that my cars had no brakes…’ shows us Jo just how much we push ourselves and don’t listen to such signs or symbols in our day to day life that tell us to literally slow down.
I have finally come to a place in my life where I know so clearly, “that life can be understood and as a result I no longer feel like a passenger on a runaway train”, and what a wonderful and very rest-full place that is. It was very exhausting being a passenger on that train but not for one moment did I even consider that I could take my place in the driver’s seat, pull the handbrake on and come to a stop. But when I finally did, I felt like I could breathe my own breath again and the feeling throughout my body was one of liberation and joy.
We are supported in life to return to our true selves, to be more aware, ‘ I see how intricate life lessons naturally formulate to support us in coming back to balance; in coming back to ourselves and to each other. ‘
“It was meant to be” ignores free will so how can it be true?
This self-honesty thing, I am constantly finding the layers of dishonesty I have been cloaking myself under, it’s quite staggering I almost convinced myself.
These days I never believe that things ‘just happen’ or it’s random. There’s always something deeper to read behind a situation. That’s what makes life more interesting.
Such a different view to life that everything in life offers us 24/7 opportunities to learn to be more loving and keep deepening that. Instead of having ‘bad luck’ you have a chance to grow.
Exactly, we are forever offered opportunities to heal, to return to our Soul, ‘If we don’t correct our out-of-harmony-way-of-being, eventually we run into the greater rhythm of the Universe. And then a correction may occur in the same way as our body physiology is continuously correcting, discharging and healing little parts for the integrity of the whole.’
‘More and more I am making choices based on the wisdom that comes from my body; these are always loving and supportive decisions and through this experience I know that what I need truly is inside me.’
The difference between what my body communicates and what the thoughts try to make me see as the way things are, are vast. My head can be worried about a situation whereas when I connect to my body that can be completely absent and there is just settlement, confidence and trust.
‘it was meant to be’ is very much giving our power away as though you are a leaf in the wind. ‘everything happens for a reason’ understands that all aspects of life are significant – and noteworthy of our part in any given situation.
Understanding the meaning of the word ‘reason’ here is very important and helpful.
I love the analogy of being a “leaf in the wind” when we give our power away with the words “it was meant to be”. I grew up hearing that power-less statement all around me, but something never rang true as it felt like throwing any decisions into the wind, and hoping that everything would turn out all right; and not surprisingly, more than often than not, it didn’t.
I love what you are saying here, Jo, about Love letting us know when we are moving disharmoniously. Everything means something and a tangled up vacuum cleaner cord is a sure sign of things not flowing smoothly. As you say, a stop moment to re-connect and learn from the reflection makes all the difference.
What you share here is really important for us to consider – not as a ‘must’ but as a consideration…”If we don’t correct our out-of-harmony-way-of-being, eventually we run into the greater rhythm of the Universe. And then a correction may occur in the same way as our body physiology is continuously correcting, discharging and healing little parts for the integrity of the whole.” To consider that we contribute to a greater whole offers us an opportunity to really appreciate who we are and what we contribute to the world.
I love your approach, which way do we want to experience what happens in our lives? I would rather see everything as a lesson and look at how I got to that lesson, then see how I can move in a different way so my outcomes are simpler.
Thank you Jo, it is a very powerful read. I agree that responsibility (to respond with love) is the reason for all of our corrections, we often move so far away from our true loving selves for so long that the body must rid itself of the impact. Understanding this is so key to healing because often we see illness as “luck of the draw”, when it’s actually a strong communication about something and our body needing to clear the effects of our separation from our true selves.
Bringing more responsibility, and love into our lives means we are supported more, ‘As I have been developing a foundation of self-care I have found that supportive elements I have previously struggled for (but been unable to acquire or maintain) now come along without effort. In this I see that I hold the keys to my life and I feel held by God.’
Seeing things as ‘that’s how life is’ – there’s a certain resignation, and given-upness in that, where we disempower ourselves. On the flip-side, living with the understanding that everything happens for a reason, even if we might not understand or know immediately what those reasons are, just that it is happening for a reason that is beyond or temporal comprehension, enriches life and empowers us to take responsibility for all of our choices.
I find that reason (that it’s happening) can take a split second to understand or it can take years to come to an understanding of why certain things came about. What I find very beautiful is the deepening and widening understanding that comes as we start to piece our different reasons (circumstances) together.
When we can understand and accept that everything happens for a reason, it becomes very clear that to believe that something ‘was meant to be’ is simply an excuse to not take responsibility for our choices.
Having phrases like ‘things just happen’ or ‘it’s fate’ or ‘it was meant to be’ are things we tell ourselves when we don’t want to be responsible for our actions. We are the creators of our lives and what happens to us is not as random as we would like to tell ourselves.
Two common saying I grew up around and did not delve deeper into their meanings. Yes it was ‘meant to be’ but why was it meant to be was never looked into further.
‘Everything happens for a reason’ again another saying that is asking us to investigate but I certainly did not put any further thoughts to it either.
It is since meeting Serge Benhayon too that I have more understanding to both of these sayings and everything in life comes with a responsibility and in some respect it’s like a boomerang, what you put out comes back to you.
In a world where everything is energy first before it manifests physically, no ‘meant to be’ can exist as everything has a precursor, everything is subject to cause and effect. ‘Meant to be’ is a prison of our own making and supports irresponsibility whereas responsibility makes space and liberates.
Jo you raise an important point here – ‘With more awareness has come a huge understanding of responsibility’, yes many prefer to dull their awareness to avoid the responsibility, I know I have but am discovering the joy that can come with being more responsible.
Jo, what a joy to read. Our life = our choices. So simple. What we make of our life, is up to us. And responsibility is new black. It’s a very cool way to be.
And I love this ‘new black’, it really suits me; taking responsibility that is. For much of my life I lived irresponsibly, especially when it came to making choices around the care of my body, and then inexplicably wondered why it was always breaking down. Oh yes, when it comes to the quality of our lives, it’s the quality of the choices that make the difference.
Responsibility is the way forward, ‘More and more I am making choices based on the wisdom that comes from my body; these are always loving and supportive decisions and through this experience I know that what I need truly is inside me.’ Very beautiful, wisdom comes from within our body.
“taking initiative to choose the quality of my path to be one that feels true for me” and each choice we make prepares us for our next step on the way.
I love how these corrections are always there for us to return to love and never as a punishment. They are basically saying ‘come on, you are so much more than what you are living right now.’
After living most of my life feeling “like a passenger on a runaway train” it feels so great to be in the driver’s seat instead. I always used to suspect there was much more to life and thanks to the amazing presentations of Serge Benhayon I finally discovered that what I was feeling was in fact the truth. Now that was the biggest ‘light-bulb’ moment ever!
I think it’s great how you’ve highlighted here how we can use phrases or words to gloss over things, to not really consider what was going on or what is happening on a deeper level and by doing this we can avoid being more aware of how the way we are in life has an effect on everything…
When we observe rightly most of humanity live in victimhood, saying things “Just” happen, and therefore not taking responsibility of their role in whatever is happening to them.
I feel part of this relates to religious beliefs, that there is a mysterious and greater power out there making things happen. We curse God for all sorts of perceived misfortune and may believe we are being rewarded when things are going well.
One day we will reunite fully with God. This is the truth. It will also happen for a reason: because we will all realize that this is not it and we are meant for something else, much higher. Till that time, life will provide us with constant offerings. The problem with the word ‘offerings’ is that we do not see some events as offerings, even if they are.
‘If it was meant to be’ raises the question of meant by whom? It could be ourselves.