‘It Was Meant to Be’ and ‘Everything Happens for a Reason’

I recall as a young adult wondering if there could be a cause and effect going on in life and if I would ever understand ‘why things happen’. This question seemed to immediately bring a realisation that it was possible that things didn’t just happen randomly; that there may be a reason for the sudden bad mood or lost school report and there may even be something behind the seemingly random illness or accident… Since then I have discovered that life can be understood and as a result I no longer feel like a passenger on a runaway train – allowing things to happen to me without taking initiative to choose the quality of my path to be one that feels true for me. 

At first glance one may casually think the sayings in this title mean the same thing, but I have just realised that I know and understand them as representing two different philosophies or approaches to life, which are as different as water and vodka. They may look alike but with a closer ‘smell’ you know they won’t go down with the same effect. I find one way to be nourishing and to leave me in the totality of my interconnectedness where the other way feels un-natural and toxic to my being, leaving me checked out, not feeling myself and cut off from the intricate support that is available to us all.

“It was meant to be” represents a given-up attitude where I am not taking responsibility for understanding my part in what happens.

I used to visit the ‘meant-to-be’ camp quite often, back when I had given up in so many little ways on being the whole true ‘me’ in the world – I had accepted being much less than I am. I was hiding; I did not feel deserving, I felt empty and was settling for much less than love in all areas of my life. I was unaware of how much I had compromised and how irresponsible I had become by softening what I felt and knew to be true by not claiming myself. During these years I was depressed, I felt very lost, needy, alone, unguided and unsupported and I made many reckless and harmful choices.

However, once I started to realise that it was my own choices and reactions which got me into the unhappy situations I was in and that it would be my choices and responses to life that would get me out I realised that everything does happen ‘for a reason’. This was a turning point for me where my choices and my experience of life started to truly change and I knew that the “it was meant to be” mentality wasn’t supporting me at all.

“Everything happens for a reason” represents an understanding that comes with responsibility and a deep commitment to life.

With the teachings of The Ancient Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon, and with consistent support from Simple Living Global, I have been inspired to re-develop and deepen my self-honesty and commitment to myself and to life. I have been learning to observe and feel my own body and things around me and as a result I have been gaining more and more understanding and awareness about why things happen and how I have a part in it all.

I have never heard anyone express such deep common sense as Serge Benhayon on the vast subjects of who we are, why we’re here and what is going on in humanity. While we have had a scattering of true world teachers throughout history, none of our world’s current, recent or well-known so-called religious, spiritual or social leaders have offered us such a deeply honest, in-depth and compassionate understanding of what is going on as Serge Benhayon has so tangibly done. It is with immense love and commitment to humanity that Serge presents the full energetic Truth; un-compromised, un-bastardised and not held back in fear of rocking our rotting boat. Because of his courage we now have immense support in seeing our own way out of our mess.

The absolute responsibility and utter common sense this man lives and presents has woken me up to what I already knew but have been pushing aside for far too long…

I no longer buy into the “it’s meant to happen” or “things just happen” consciousness because I can see that so much has led up to each situation. I understand that I have played a big part in the set up and repetition of all of my issues, so it follows that I hold a responsibility to learn from my choices… I am realising that I have far more support and guidance to do this than I have taken advantage of. I see how intricate life lessons naturally formulate to support us in coming back to balance; in coming back to ourselves and to each other. I feel there is a greater Understanding or Consciousness, a True Love or Unity in which we are all held; in other words, I feel God. I am seeing that essentially every thing that happens offers me a chance to choose more awareness and understanding, and when I don’t then I am creating/forming another similar (often stronger) lesson.

When I commit to deepening my self-honesty and listening to the gentle nudges, messages and signs, I then move into truthfulness which allows me to be more-of-me instead of investing deeper in my avoidance techniques (which take me further away from being who I am) and then needing the painful and/or dramatic ‘wake-up calls’.

There is a reason that everything ultimately offers us a chance to correct ourselves out of a disharmonious way of being and back to a more loving and natural Way.

With more awareness has come a huge understanding of responsibility; the very thing I have been avoiding for a very long time… but what comes with this is also a sense of true support consistently offered to every one of us to learn about exactly what we need help with from where we are. ‘Help’ often does not come in the way we want it but in the way we need it. For example, I used to go-and-go despite recurring dreams that my cars had no brakes… I had to develop exhaustion before I got serious about changing my reckless behaviour by learning to take care of myself and being more present and self-honouring.

Looking back on my life I can see that my big illnesses came when my life had become very toxic to me. When I have taken on or run too much emotion through my body for too long, it reaches a point where my soul lovingly accumulates the poison/unloving energy to push it out with an illness. This offers me an opportunity to heal and/or choose differently so I can live this life (or if I go too far, start my next life) in a body with less of the poison and more of the true love/energy I am meant to run on.

If we don’t correct our out-of-harmony-way-of-being, eventually we run into the greater rhythm of the Universe. And then a correction may occur in the same way as our body physiology is continuously correcting, discharging and healing little parts for the integrity of the whole.

If I am very out of whack, that ‘correction’ can be a big slam, but the more I take steps toward myself and the more I take responsibility the more I am met with support all around. I have felt this as a tangible ‘cause and effect’ over the past few years. As I have been developing a foundation of self-care I have found that supportive elements I have previously struggled for (but been unable to acquire or maintain) now come along without effort. In this I see that I hold the keys to my life and I feel held by God.

When I am out of whack I feel that Love, without a speck of judgment, lets me know when I am behaving in a way that is dis-harmonious, like when I am working in a less-than-loving way and the vacuum cleaner cord gets hung up in unbelievable ways to show me that I need to stop and re-set myself by breathing or moving more gently. I can lie to myself and deny this message by cursing (blaming) God, the vacuum or the world for ‘making things hard for me’, or I can be open to learning by stopping to get honest and ask, “OK, why is this happening?”. When I don’t feel quite myself it is as if my natural flow is disturbed and this is also disturbing to all around me, and I know it is my responsibility to correct myself.

Gaining a clear understanding that there are two thoroughly different ways of living (two different consciousnesses, which Serge Benhayon has illuminated for us all) has inspired me to come back to a position of self-empowerment, understanding and a place of greater responsibility; the responsibility to simply commit to myself and to life so I can get out of the “it was meant to be” camp and get on with living my truth and to living life more lovingly and joyfully by bringing out who I really am to share with the world.

More and more I am making choices based on the wisdom that comes from my body; these are always loving and supportive decisions and through this experience I know that what I need truly is inside me.

This ‘common sense’ is the Universal Love that Serge Benhayon lives and consistently shares as an inspiration for all.

By Jo Elmer, Magic Rags Cleaning & Organising, Concord, CA, USA

Further Reading:
Are We Taking Responsibility For Our Own Lives?
Who is Serge Benhayon?
The Art of Being Me

657 thoughts on “‘It Was Meant to Be’ and ‘Everything Happens for a Reason’

  1. Such a different view to life that everything in life offers us 24/7 opportunities to learn to be more loving and keep deepening that. Instead of having ‘bad luck’ you have a chance to grow.

  2. ‘More and more I am making choices based on the wisdom that comes from my body; these are always loving and supportive decisions and through this experience I know that what I need truly is inside me.’
    The difference between what my body communicates and what the thoughts try to make me see as the way things are, are vast. My head can be worried about a situation whereas when I connect to my body that can be completely absent and there is just settlement, confidence and trust.

  3. ‘it was meant to be’ is very much giving our power away as though you are a leaf in the wind. ‘everything happens for a reason’ understands that all aspects of life are significant – and noteworthy of our part in any given situation.

  4. I love what you are saying here, Jo, about Love letting us know when we are moving disharmoniously. Everything means something and a tangled up vacuum cleaner cord is a sure sign of things not flowing smoothly. As you say, a stop moment to re-connect and learn from the reflection makes all the difference.

  5. What you share here is really important for us to consider – not as a ‘must’ but as a consideration…”If we don’t correct our out-of-harmony-way-of-being, eventually we run into the greater rhythm of the Universe. And then a correction may occur in the same way as our body physiology is continuously correcting, discharging and healing little parts for the integrity of the whole.” To consider that we contribute to a greater whole offers us an opportunity to really appreciate who we are and what we contribute to the world.

  6. I love your approach, which way do we want to experience what happens in our lives? I would rather see everything as a lesson and look at how I got to that lesson, then see how I can move in a different way so my outcomes are simpler.

  7. Thank you Jo, it is a very powerful read. I agree that responsibility (to respond with love) is the reason for all of our corrections, we often move so far away from our true loving selves for so long that the body must rid itself of the impact. Understanding this is so key to healing because often we see illness as “luck of the draw”, when it’s actually a strong communication about something and our body needing to clear the effects of our separation from our true selves.

  8. Seeing things as ‘that’s how life is’ – there’s a certain resignation, and given-upness in that, where we disempower ourselves. On the flip-side, living with the understanding that everything happens for a reason, even if we might not understand or know immediately what those reasons are, just that it is happening for a reason that is beyond or temporal comprehension, enriches life and empowers us to take responsibility for all of our choices.

    1. I find that reason (that it’s happening) can take a split second to understand or it can take years to come to an understanding of why certain things came about. What I find very beautiful is the deepening and widening understanding that comes as we start to piece our different reasons (circumstances) together.

  9. When we can understand and accept that everything happens for a reason, it becomes very clear that to believe that something ‘was meant to be’ is simply an excuse to not take responsibility for our choices.

  10. Having phrases like ‘things just happen’ or ‘it’s fate’ or ‘it was meant to be’ are things we tell ourselves when we don’t want to be responsible for our actions. We are the creators of our lives and what happens to us is not as random as we would like to tell ourselves.

  11. Two common saying I grew up around and did not delve deeper into their meanings. Yes it was ‘meant to be’ but why was it meant to be was never looked into further.
    ‘Everything happens for a reason’ again another saying that is asking us to investigate but I certainly did not put any further thoughts to it either.

    It is since meeting Serge Benhayon too that I have more understanding to both of these sayings and everything in life comes with a responsibility and in some respect it’s like a boomerang, what you put out comes back to you.

  12. In a world where everything is energy first before it manifests physically, no ‘meant to be’ can exist as everything has a precursor, everything is subject to cause and effect. ‘Meant to be’ is a prison of our own making and supports irresponsibility whereas responsibility makes space and liberates.

  13. Jo you raise an important point here – ‘With more awareness has come a huge understanding of responsibility’, yes many prefer to dull their awareness to avoid the responsibility, I know I have but am discovering the joy that can come with being more responsible.

  14. Jo, what a joy to read. Our life = our choices. So simple. What we make of our life, is up to us. And responsibility is new black. It’s a very cool way to be.

  15. “taking initiative to choose the quality of my path to be one that feels true for me” and each choice we make prepares us for our next step on the way.

  16. I love how these corrections are always there for us to return to love and never as a punishment. They are basically saying ‘come on, you are so much more than what you are living right now.’

  17. After living most of my life feeling “like a passenger on a runaway train” it feels so great to be in the driver’s seat instead. I always used to suspect there was much more to life and thanks to the amazing presentations of Serge Benhayon I finally discovered that what I was feeling was in fact the truth. Now that was the biggest ‘light-bulb’ moment ever!

  18. I think it’s great how you’ve highlighted here how we can use phrases or words to gloss over things, to not really consider what was going on or what is happening on a deeper level and by doing this we can avoid being more aware of how the way we are in life has an effect on everything…

  19. When we observe rightly most of humanity live in victimhood, saying things “Just” happen, and therefore not taking responsibility of their role in whatever is happening to them.

    1. I feel part of this relates to religious beliefs, that there is a mysterious and greater power out there making things happen. We curse God for all sorts of perceived misfortune and may believe we are being rewarded when things are going well.

  20. Accepting that things just happen is so disempowering. The truth is we are the designer of everything that happens, we are the one in the driver’s seat. For sure there are forces that may try to force us off the road, but they cannot unless we say yes to them.

  21. One day we will reunite fully with God. This is the truth. It will also happen for a reason: because we will all realize that this is not it and we are meant for something else, much higher. Till that time, life will provide us with constant offerings. The problem with the word ‘offerings’ is that we do not see some events as offerings, even if they are.

  22. I love how and when things unfold, why they happened. The key for it is to allow space. The moment we judge a situation, because we expected or wanted a different outcome, there is no space. The moment we allow the possibility that it happened to reflect us something and accept that, every , really, every situation is an amazing opportunity to grow for us.

      1. This is why expression is so important and indeed is everything. By expressing whatever I understand and live in life, might inspire another to do the same. What a beautiful exchange of currency.

  23. The way that we use the “it was meant to be” card is a way to avoid resonsibility for the choices that we have made that lead to situations that we do not like. It is a humbling moment when we realise that we are responsible for our choices.

  24. “When I commit to deepening my self-honesty and listening to the gentle nudges, messages and signs, I then move into truthfulness which allows me to be more-of-me instead of investing deeper in my avoidance techniques (which take me further away from being who I am) and then needing the painful and/or dramatic ‘wake-up calls’”. What an amazing paragraph, thank you Jo. I had not made the link between self honesty and then the opportunity to live more of me, the truth of who I am. It’s a great observation too about the subsequent avoidance techniques we employ if we are not honest. Beautifully written, thank you.

  25. “I have discovered that life can be understood and as a result I no longer feel like a passenger on a runaway train” And you realise you have the responsibility to move into the driving seat with an awareness of every signal that is shown to you so that you bring yourself and all those travelling with you with a return ticket back to where we all come from.

    1. I love that picture Mary. Yes, never sitting on the backseat of the car. Steering the wheel through every situation in life, as everything is perfectly constellated and designed to grow and evolve us back to who we truly are. So why waste time sitting in the back seat!

  26. ‘ When I don’t feel quite myself it is as if my natural flow is disturbed and this is also disturbing to all around me, and I know it is my responsibility to correct myself.’ As soon as we clock that we are not feeling ourselves and we reunite, how lovely that feels to come back home to who we truly are…to bring harmony again from the discord we have allowed.

  27. Once we get that everything happens for a reason and that we have had a part in every situation we find ourselves in; then life starts to look different. We also start to view the so-called ‘bad things’ that happen to us as a point of evolution, an opportunity for us to learn from and to go deeper with the relationship we have with ourselves.

  28. Equally if nothing is nothing, then there is an energy making it happen. What energy source do we choose?

  29. “This ‘common sense’ is the Universal Love that Serge Benhayon lives and consistently shares as an inspiration for all.” Ive always been a lover of ‘common sense’ – a practical, down to earth approach to all things in life. So enter Serge Benhayon who takes everything back to the bare bones so that we understand there is ‘common sense’ behind everything, and shows us that we are capable of living life in a simple and clear way as long as we are willing to take responsibility for our ill choices, and you have an attentive listener who is then able to begin to turn their life around.

    1. yes, common sense is a doorway to simplicity. It has been interesting to observe how there are some ‘common sense’ people who shut themselves off to the possibility that their common sense is subscribing to a model that doesn’t make sense at all! So I have learnt to question my normal as often as possible without finding myself in a heap and unable to make sense of anything.

  30. The more we honour our connection to the universal source, the all knowing wisdom, the less we abuse our body in any shape or form. The moment we disconnect to that, we become “human” in a millisecond denying the multidimensionality we are, which always gives us space to observe and read energy, instead making it about a person or an incident that suddenly happened without reason.

    1. Nothing comes from nothing and everything is part of the cause and effect equation, whether we like it or not. It’s much better to like or t least consider it because it teaches us much and ends up making life much richer and more fulfilling.

  31. The more we honour our connection to the universal source, the all knowing wisdom, the less we abuse our body in any shape or form. The moment we disconnect to that, we become “human” in a millisecond denying the multidimensionality we are, which always gives us space to observe and read energy, instead making it about a person or an incident that suddenly happened without reason.

  32. To me there is a cause and effect happening all the time, along with consequences that follow the cause and effect. I have experienced this for myself in this life, there is a cause that I have brought in from another life that is playing out in this life, it is up to me and my choices whether I make different choices that produce a different effect or outcome. That is to me how we learn to rebalance what through our own choices through many lives have become out of balance between ourselves and the universe. To think that we exist outside of the universe and that we do not affect the universe and vise versa is to me at the nub of our wayward existence on earth.

  33. There’s a lot we can gain from paying attention to and listening to what life’s messages, signs and unfoldments are there to show us. Nothing is random, and how we relate to life knowing that things do happen for a reason is what defines what kind of student (of life) we are.

  34. We moan and complain about life events but so often it turns out when you look deeper that it’s us who have said yes to them in the first place and actually created it. Being honest about our true intent is step one of changing things.

  35. Thank you for the links here. I had not visited Simply Living Global before and found it very interesting, there is an article about ‘spice’ there that is very informative and could help many get clearer about this substance.

  36. I love how you use the phrase “deep common sense” in describing Serge Benhayon. He talks about many aspects of life that we have made so complex and complicated in a way that is not only easy to understand but also simple. He has such a deep understanding of what makes everything the way it is.

    1. I agree, Jennifer. Serge was the one who re-introduced the power and truth of simplicity back into my life. And now I can say and feel that if something is not simple it is not from the Soul and I need to reconsider and change something.

  37. Whenever I get too close to letting go and just allowing life to be rather than trying to control it, I cut myself of from the intricate support that is available to us all by sabotaging myself. This choice keeps me as the individual only thinking of myself and not about the plight that humanity is in.

  38. ‘It was meant to be’ statement makes you feel that it is all out of your control and in this takes all responsibility away, however when we consider ‘everything is energy and everything happens because of energy’ responsibility then is given its rightful place.

  39. ‘like when I am working in a less-than-loving way and the vacuum cleaner cord gets hung up in unbelievable ways to show me that I need to stop and re-set myself by breathing or moving more gently.’ The magic of God is everywhere to get us back to our true nature, and in a very playful way if we open our eyes and follow what we innately know and feel.

  40. I definitely used to be more in the ‘It was meant to be camp’, although I also always felt that ‘everything happens for a reason.’ The kicker was that when I was responsible for something bad happening or creating some problem I would tend to say “It was meant to happen” in a way that absolved me of any responsibility as if I had to learn the hard way in order to work through the issue and like there was no other option than for those chain of events to occur (which is obviously nonsense). Then, if somebody else was at fault for the same kind of accident or negative occurrence, I would go with the “Everything happens for a reason”, in a way that asked them to ponder on what choices they made that lead to that thing happening and take responsibility for it. Quite crafty of me, but no evolution or true learning ever came of that approach, and I appreciate what Jo has said here about the true difference between those statements, which I agree with and live by whole-heartedly now.

  41. Life has a flow to it and within that flow, things happen as they are meant to. For example, we may have set ourselves a time we want to be somewhere and have allowed that time to get there. But along the way we get stuck behind a slow car. We can either take this as something that has got in our way as we want to control how life flows, or we can see it as everything happening as it is meant to so that we arrive at our destination exactly when we are meant so that everything that is constellated to happen can happen.

  42. There is always a reason why certain things happen, and it is when we actually start taking responsibility for the events that lead to the consequences, that we realise that we have a choice, and an opportunity to choose differently in future.

  43. Oh, I felt like you were writing a ‘love letter of truth’ to me today, thank you. I needed to hear what you shared, i picked this blog for a reason today. To be reminded to let go of my avoidance techniques and to return to love and responsibility. This was a standout for me – “When I commit to deepening my self-honesty and listening to the gentle nudges, messages and signs, I then move into truthfulness which allows me to be more-of-me instead of investing deeper in my avoidance techniques (which take me further away from being who I am) and then needing the painful and/or dramatic ‘wake-up calls’.”

    1. A beautiful example that everything’s happening for a reason. You reading and picking this blog, when it was needed, was certainly no coincidence. We just need to follow our impulses and trust in the flow and rhythm of life and everything approaching us makes so much sense!

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