‘It Was Meant to Be’ and ‘Everything Happens for a Reason’

I recall as a young adult wondering if there could be a cause and effect going on in life and if I would ever understand ‘why things happen’. This question seemed to immediately bring a realisation that it was possible that things didn’t just happen randomly; that there may be a reason for the sudden bad mood or lost school report and there may even be something behind the seemingly random illness or accident… Since then I have discovered that life can be understood and as a result I no longer feel like a passenger on a runaway train – allowing things to happen to me without taking initiative to choose the quality of my path to be one that feels true for me. 

At first glance one may casually think the sayings in this title mean the same thing, but I have just realised that I know and understand them as representing two different philosophies or approaches to life, which are as different as water and vodka. They may look alike but with a closer ‘smell’ you know they won’t go down with the same effect. I find one way to be nourishing and to leave me in the totality of my interconnectedness where the other way feels un-natural and toxic to my being, leaving me checked out, not feeling myself and cut off from the intricate support that is available to us all.

“It was meant to be” represents a given-up attitude where I am not taking responsibility for understanding my part in what happens.

I used to visit the ‘meant-to-be’ camp quite often, back when I had given up in so many little ways on being the whole true ‘me’ in the world – I had accepted being much less than I am. I was hiding; I did not feel deserving, I felt empty and was settling for much less than love in all areas of my life. I was unaware of how much I had compromised and how irresponsible I had become by softening what I felt and knew to be true by not claiming myself. During these years I was depressed, I felt very lost, needy, alone, unguided and unsupported and I made many reckless and harmful choices.

However, once I started to realise that it was my own choices and reactions which got me into the unhappy situations I was in and that it would be my choices and responses to life that would get me out I realised that everything does happen ‘for a reason’. This was a turning point for me where my choices and my experience of life started to truly change and I knew that the “it was meant to be” mentality wasn’t supporting me at all.

“Everything happens for a reason” represents an understanding that comes with responsibility and a deep commitment to life.

With the teachings of The Ancient Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon, and with consistent support from Simple Living Global, I have been inspired to re-develop and deepen my self-honesty and commitment to myself and to life. I have been learning to observe and feel my own body and things around me and as a result I have been gaining more and more understanding and awareness about why things happen and how I have a part in it all.

I have never heard anyone express such deep common sense as Serge Benhayon on the vast subjects of who we are, why we’re here and what is going on in humanity. While we have had a scattering of true world teachers throughout history, none of our world’s current, recent or well-known so-called religious, spiritual or social leaders have offered us such a deeply honest, in-depth and compassionate understanding of what is going on as Serge Benhayon has so tangibly done. It is with immense love and commitment to humanity that Serge presents the full energetic Truth; un-compromised, un-bastardised and not held back in fear of rocking our rotting boat. Because of his courage we now have immense support in seeing our own way out of our mess.

The absolute responsibility and utter common sense this man lives and presents has woken me up to what I already knew but have been pushing aside for far too long…

I no longer buy into the “it’s meant to happen” or “things just happen” consciousness because I can see that so much has led up to each situation. I understand that I have played a big part in the set up and repetition of all of my issues, so it follows that I hold a responsibility to learn from my choices… I am realising that I have far more support and guidance to do this than I have taken advantage of. I see how intricate life lessons naturally formulate to support us in coming back to balance; in coming back to ourselves and to each other. I feel there is a greater Understanding or Consciousness, a True Love or Unity in which we are all held; in other words, I feel God. I am seeing that essentially every thing that happens offers me a chance to choose more awareness and understanding, and when I don’t then I am creating/forming another similar (often stronger) lesson.

When I commit to deepening my self-honesty and listening to the gentle nudges, messages and signs, I then move into truthfulness which allows me to be more-of-me instead of investing deeper in my avoidance techniques (which take me further away from being who I am) and then needing the painful and/or dramatic ‘wake-up calls’.

There is a reason that everything ultimately offers us a chance to correct ourselves out of a disharmonious way of being and back to a more loving and natural Way.

With more awareness has come a huge understanding of responsibility; the very thing I have been avoiding for a very long time… but what comes with this is also a sense of true support consistently offered to every one of us to learn about exactly what we need help with from where we are. ‘Help’ often does not come in the way we want it but in the way we need it. For example, I used to go-and-go despite recurring dreams that my cars had no brakes… I had to develop exhaustion before I got serious about changing my reckless behaviour by learning to take care of myself and being more present and self-honouring.

Looking back on my life I can see that my big illnesses came when my life had become very toxic to me. When I have taken on or run too much emotion through my body for too long, it reaches a point where my soul lovingly accumulates the poison/unloving energy to push it out with an illness. This offers me an opportunity to heal and/or choose differently so I can live this life (or if I go too far, start my next life) in a body with less of the poison and more of the true love/energy I am meant to run on.

If we don’t correct our out-of-harmony-way-of-being, eventually we run into the greater rhythm of the Universe. And then a correction may occur in the same way as our body physiology is continuously correcting, discharging and healing little parts for the integrity of the whole.

If I am very out of whack, that ‘correction’ can be a big slam, but the more I take steps toward myself and the more I take responsibility the more I am met with support all around. I have felt this as a tangible ‘cause and effect’ over the past few years. As I have been developing a foundation of self-care I have found that supportive elements I have previously struggled for (but been unable to acquire or maintain) now come along without effort. In this I see that I hold the keys to my life and I feel held by God.

When I am out of whack I feel that Love, without a speck of judgment, lets me know when I am behaving in a way that is dis-harmonious, like when I am working in a less-than-loving way and the vacuum cleaner cord gets hung up in unbelievable ways to show me that I need to stop and re-set myself by breathing or moving more gently. I can lie to myself and deny this message by cursing (blaming) God, the vacuum or the world for ‘making things hard for me’, or I can be open to learning by stopping to get honest and ask, “OK, why is this happening?”. When I don’t feel quite myself it is as if my natural flow is disturbed and this is also disturbing to all around me, and I know it is my responsibility to correct myself.

Gaining a clear understanding that there are two thoroughly different ways of living (two different consciousnesses, which Serge Benhayon has illuminated for us all) has inspired me to come back to a position of self-empowerment, understanding and a place of greater responsibility; the responsibility to simply commit to myself and to life so I can get out of the “it was meant to be” camp and get on with living my truth and to living life more lovingly and joyfully by bringing out who I really am to share with the world.

More and more I am making choices based on the wisdom that comes from my body; these are always loving and supportive decisions and through this experience I know that what I need truly is inside me.

This ‘common sense’ is the Universal Love that Serge Benhayon lives and consistently shares as an inspiration for all.

By Jo Elmer, Magic Rags Cleaning & Organising, Concord, CA, USA

Further Reading:
Are We Taking Responsibility For Our Own Lives?
Who is Serge Benhayon?
The Art of Being Me

593 thoughts on “‘It Was Meant to Be’ and ‘Everything Happens for a Reason’

  1. It is truly liberating understanding our part in something, for with that awareness we can choose to support ourselves thereafter…

  2. I now love the fact that there is a message in everything and nothing is left to ‘it just happens’, life takes on a whole new level of awareness, and discards the mundane.

  3. Everything does happen for a reason because we are the sole custodian of our every movement and it is from these movements we move from our choices, the energy in which we have connected to and the connection of our bodies moving as one that then reveals the outcome of this combination. Everything then happens for a reason because we have either moved in responsibility or not and what comes next will be revealed and there for us to learn and understand much for the way we choose to live life.

  4. We can no longer avoid taking responsibility – we are doing ourselves and humanity a disservice by not allowing ourselves to feel the full implications of our every move – and rather than this being tedious it is in actual fact a wonderful moment of connection and expansion as we are no longer running from life.

  5. This is lovely Jo and all you say about Serge Benhayon is so true. When reading I was thinking that
    ” It was meant to be ” saying should be changed in the world to ” it was energetically meant to be ” this would give cause for more responsibility.

  6. I just love the way you describe fundamental energetic laws all at once here, Jo, and make it so simple and accessible for everyone – “If we don’t correct our out-of-harmony-way-of-being, eventually we run into the greater rhythm of the Universe.”

  7. Saying just, ‘it’s meant to be’ leaves so many questions unanswered – who meant it to be? Why now and not yesterday or last year? Why this particular venue or group of people? Seeing that there could be a REASON behind every seeming ‘coincidence’ opens up these questions as interesting constellations to explore, and thus a lot more in life makes sense.

  8. Re-reading this has reminded me of a very clear message I received many years ago when a family member reeled off to me all the disastrous things that had happened in that week, and it got me thinking about how things happen to us and what part do we play in this. And I supposed I asked myself ‘How come those things never happen to me’ (which I was glad that they didn’t), but there still begged the question, why do these things happen? – is it as random as we want to believe and is there a deeper message for us to learn from. I now know that there is and always will be more to understand about all the situations we find ourselves in, if only we take the time to listen and to observe, and that it is our responsibility to not just shrug things off with a throw away comment.

    1. Great question Julie. When there are a string of events that happen to someone, it is not unusual for there to be alot of emotional drama involved. If we stop and ovserve this and ourselves, and how the more we dont get sucked into this ‘drama’ aspect of anything that happens in our lives, the more we are able to stay detached and to see that whatever happens there is always a message for us to learn something deeper about ourselves. It starts to become clear that the drama feeds the emotion, and vice versa.

      1. “there is always a message for us to learn something deeper about ourselves.” And feeling how I move (gently, tenderly vs rushing and harsh etc. ) either feeds the blinding emotions and drama or cuts it and allows clarity for the message of the lesson to come through.

  9. Jo, I used to say ‘it was meant to be’, I would say this when relationships ended or jobs didn’t happen or friendships broke up – never taking responsibility for why this might have happened and just thinking it was something out of my control, I can feel how irresponsible this way of living was; “It was meant to be” represents a given-up attitude where I am not taking responsibility for understanding my part in what happens.’

  10. “Everything happens for a reason” re-enforces that we all have a innate ability to read and understand why events play out as they do, it invites us to reflect and empower ourselves with a lived understanding of the impact of our choices.

  11. Everything is everything – the fact is that we have a big part to play in each movement and what we experience are the sum of our choices.

  12. The ‘it was meant to be’ mentality fosters irresponsibility, apathy and giving up on self, others and life.

  13. ‘Things do not just happen’. There is always a reason why something happens. The reason may or may not be apparent to us. Yet, when we open up to this, we also open up to what the reason may be. That understanding is of great value. It helps us to deepen, change or confirm our movements.

  14. Everything happens for a reason, so what part of that reason has been my choices? I could do with sitting with this question today. Everytime I take responsibility for something life improves. It’s worth being responsible as irresponsibility hurts.

  15. The irony is a person expressing from ‘it was meant to be’ appears laid back and seemingly open to life but the truth is the exact opposite…they are in fact being completely controlling and manipulating.

    1. This is so true! It sounds so laid back, accepting life as it is, not a care in the world and ultimately an idyllic state of mind, which many people I’ve met in the past expressed and tried to emulate. But what I noticed was that it required a lot of effort and force to try to be that way and the disharmony caused was seen in their life which revealed the lack of responsibility and true purpose in their life.

  16. When we become more aware and understand the extent to which we compromise ourselves when we give our power away to beliefs that are not true we separate from our true selves and find ourselves at the mercy of life avoiding self-responsibility and reacting to everything around us instead of discerning for ourselves what is really going on.

  17. ‘There is a reason that everything ultimately offers us a chance to correct ourselves out of a disharmonious way of being and back to a more loving and natural Way.’ This is such a beautiful way of being that can be taken into my day and when I am reminded of it I am instantly connected to the all and no longer in any poor me/victim or blame stuff – and this can include thinking I’m not loved by God for this to be happening which could be very small like all the lights on the way to work are red! No, when truly understanding everything is there for a reason and the chance to see a reflection that’ll bring the opportunity to be honest and let go of what is not loving, one cannot but feel the love and the beyond wow wisdom of God.

  18. Perhaps the most important thing is to know (not question) that there is always a reason why things happen if we are prepared to look at it. We always have a part to play in any situation so rather than blaming the world, there is always something for us to look at in how we have acted or moved in relation to it.

  19. “‘Help’ often does not come in the way we want it but in the way we need it.” This is possibly one of the reasons of negating the lessons that need to be learnt, but opening to them, to that help, opens us up to a deeper and greater understanding of our lives.

  20. When we avoid responsibility and deny our true nature, it is very easy to think that ‘it was meant to be’. When we are open to the part we play in every situation, we are offered an opportunity to evolve and grow.

  21. Thank you for sharing Jo the common sense approach to life that Serge Benhayon offer to us. when we look at a situation and choose to look at our part we become responsible, this opens up the opportunity for greater awareness and understanding so that healing can occur.

    1. Yes, we all know the true meaning of things, we simply have not wanted to know. It is all about choosing to consider what our part is in everything that happens and this is the start of taking up the responsibility which has been ours to take all along.

  22. In the past I was leading a very toxic and self-abusive life with no disregard and no self worth. And my body gave me a correction in the form of Breast Cancer, which brought my world to a big stop, shook me and wakened me up to such a degree that I knew I wanted to heal and clear my old behaviours and patterns and not go for a ‘quick fix’ . It was this choice that allowed me to get honest, and from honesty I could understand everything so much clearer, and from this understanding I could take responsibility for my life….. and my healing began. 7 years later, I am still clear, and healthy and live a super simple life with a new foundation of self love and self worth – my life has completely transformed. I am forever in deep gratitude to Serge Benhayon for all he presents and lives and for his pure love for humanity.

  23. The terms ‘Meant to be’ or ‘Things just happen’ are like a get out of jail card, an invitation to be irresponsible and an excuse to blow things off without seeing our part in them. If we do not pay attention to why things happen and what there is to learn, how will we ever change?

  24. I can really feel the arrogance and waywardness in the way I used to say ‘It was meant to be’ as well, which implied somehow God wanted it that way, while I had no personal intension whatsoever to comply with His way.

  25. Absolutely, everything that we allow to be in our life is reflected back to us, and it is either reflecting the grace of who we truly are of something which isn’t resolved.

  26. Brilliant Jo – it can seem that life’s events are concrete and engrained in the sands of time like immovable pyramids. But what is huge to understand is that these circumstances are purely results of what we choose. Like a scientist performing experiments, with equipment he cannot read, whilst we think our experiences to be ‘pure chance’ or ‘fate’ we never grow and learn.

  27. If we truly understood what ‘everything happens for a reason’ meant, how could we watch TV? How could we ever find ourselves wanting to be entertained and play a computer game? For every move and word we say, every person that we meet and everything we see in the street, is perfectly and powerfully placed to communicate the truth to us. The only reason I can see that we might want to avoid this fact, is it brings responsibility right back to us, and eliminates blame. We have to stop playing our age old get-out-of-jail-free card -‘it wasn’t me’. Thanks Jo for this honest blog.

  28. ” I can lie to myself and deny this message by cursing (blaming) God, the vacuum or the world for ‘making things hard for me’, or I can be open to learning by stopping to get honest and ask, “OK, why is this happening?”. A great question to ask. We can then use every ‘incident’ as an opportunity to go deeper within and feel what is really going on. Honesty brings clarity.

  29. What I got so clearly from reading this today is that life is the most amazing, incredible, school that you can ever wish to attend. And you know what? We all do know this, as often we refer to lessons learnt as ‘life lessons’.

  30. Nothing is by accident every thing is divinely planned the only problem is that we often do not like the part we are designed to play in the plan, so we tend to go off on a separate tangent away from the Universal Love.

  31. I feel that we have as a society accepted being much less than who we truly are, there is a lack of genuine care and deep nurture. It seems to start from an early age and the current education system exacerbates this lack of care and understanding. So we grow up feeling empty and insecure. When we feel unsupported in life, lacking in confidence with ourselves, we can act in a way that is irresponsible and from there, is it any wonder that we make some harmful choices.

  32. If, or when we open up to seeing the deeper reason behind why things happen in our life, or that we see around us, we can learn so much and appreciate how much of a difference our way of being makes, not just to our wellbeing, but that of everyone else as well.

  33. This sentence really stands out for me today ‘In this I see that I hold the keys to my life and I feel held by God.’ Often when we feel powerless, it is because we are giving our power away to the world, friends and family, but in those moments, what we fail to realise is that we are choosing our reality and that it is an illusion that we are the victim, or that we cannot change our circumstances around us. This sentence tells us that we are the creators of our lives and that we are never not held by God.,

  34. Just as there is ‘no meant to be there’ is no coincidence. If we accept this a whole world of divine design and cause and effect opens up, showing us the workings behind human life and how all is orchestrated to be, either by divinity or the wayward spirit.

  35. Whenever I used to say “it was meant to be” I would feel a niggle in my body that was telling me that this was not true and that I was actually not taking responsibility for the consequences of the choices I had been making. But when I say “everything happens for a reason” I can feel a solidity in the statement as the truth is undeniable. I no longer use the first statement as if I was to even consider it the niggle in my body would alert me to the lie that I am about to share. What a wise body I – we all – have.

  36. There is something that does not feel quite right about the phrase “everything happens for a reason”. I hear it quite a lot in general discussions and have used it myself. I have found that it does not bring us to a stop to reflect on life or what is happening. While there is a truth to it, I don’t know that it brings us to truth. It feels like its only part way there, thereby clouding the what is.

  37. ‘Everything Happens for a Reason’. . . .is asking us to pay attention, do the reading and respond accordingly.

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