459 thoughts on “Dear Me: A Letter to My Relationship with Me”

1. Thank-you B, I too have dated the same versions of me that you have. I allowed loyalty in my life the longest and it was the best because no one saw it as irresponsible – even though it is hugely so. You never have to be your full self because you are “all things for everyone else” and people (we all) love that. It is the most insidiously destructive one.

2. It is not so much that we can switch what parts of us we choose to relate and identify with and let it out. It is about connecting deeply with ourselves and being able to feel our own beauty and then go from there.

3. Having pictures about how we think we ought to be really is a killer for self-esteem and also warps our perception of ourselves and life around us, getting in the way of us sensing what is actually true.

4. High 5 to me too! No matter how loving, exquisite and divine my relationships are with others if I do not fully honour, appreciate and deepen my connection with myself then they will never be enough. The more I love and appreciate myself without any effort I do the same for those around me – it’s almost impossible not to as the words of appreciation just come out of my mouth. We cannot hold back the love we are when we start to live it in full. Hold it back and then anything can come out of our mouths.

5. We can so easily distract ourselves by doing things for others and then justify why we did not complete what we needed to do for ourselves by championing ourselves for helping others.

6. I know this conversation too and so true, it is not enough to live any versions of ourselves because Truth is what we are made of. I’m really inspired by the process of revealing more and more truth.

7. I really felt the insidious comfort of sitting on the fence as I read your blog this morning. Its not about taking sides or having an opinion but about connecting to what is true for us, very simply stating the Truth in a loving way, being able to stick ones neck out as it were and engage in whatever is happening, coming down from the high horse and getting stuck in. It is about participating in life and accepting that we are doing the best we can in the moment.

8. I love this playful dating blog. you offer a great summary of all the relationships we have and all the relationships we invest in more than the one with our own bodies. The relationship with our own body prepares us for whatever life delivers, why would we move away from that?

9. Now that is Love in its essence, what a beautiful inspiration for us all.

10. Very sweet blog, love the reference to serial dating with no true relationship in sight. The body is a lifelong aware and loving friend and honouring this relationship is so fulfilling. Deep appreciation for ‘dear me’, thank you B.

11. I was struck by what you said here about right and wrong. When we see things are either being right or wrong we are left with just a series of images that we have to fit life into. In this way of seeing life there is no room for us to know who we are in essence as it is just about living by a series of rules or pictures that tell us what is right and what is wrong and the yardstick for those rules comes from the outside world rather than from our inner essence. No wonder we are totally lost when we operate from right and wrong.

    1. Yes, it is like we feel we have some control by putting frames on our experiences, which in truth limits our natural awareness of what is.

12. A cute way to stop and feel all we live and choose that which is not true. Why date anxiety when we can date stillness? And taking this one step further why date when we can love, commit to, marry and this. ✨

13. “Your steadiness and patience is inspirational, your love, endless.”
    I know someone who lives this consistently. But as I read it today I nodded as I know this is in me too.

14. I love the way this blog is presented. We do date different versions of ourselves. The problem is that if we do not present the truth upfront nothing true can happen and everything thereafter can only be a compromise.

15. That has been my experience too Rebecca – that it’s by having a true knowing of ourselves, through a connection to our bodies, i.e. staying with what we can feel and not abandoning ourselves the moment things get a little bit stressful and we don’t like what we’re feeling, that we feel sure and steady in life, and less rocked by whatever is going on around us.

    Loving and appreciating ourselves and making choices that support our bodies, and make it more okay to stay with what we’re feeling – by accepting whatever it is that is there – means that the anxiety is less and less present in my life. It’s like the more we love and appreciate ourselves, the less hold anxiety has over us – there is nothing for it to grip onto, so it just starts to slip away, out of the backdoor, without a fuss.

16. Profound B, glorious blog – true, funny, communicative and expressive of what is real, honest and super loving. It reminds me of the playfulness and mastership we actually do know and when I see a blog written like that it reminds me that we know everything already. Just playing less at times, which is absolutely silly.

17. If we do not have a solid basis in us then we go out there trying various versions which we find do not work and it’s only when we come back to us and understand that it starts with us and how we are that we change how we relate to life and how we relate to it.

18. Intimacy with self is an important part to develop and honour – and here I really mean the depth of what we are willing to be honest about in terms of how we feel, what we feel and how much of that we can express to ourselves first and then to those around us. Our relationship with self and the depth we are willing to take it to, is what determines the depth of relationship that we can have with those around us. Another may not go to that same depth, and that is ok as you can still let yourself be there, and likewise you may meet another that goes far deeper and hence inspires you to know it can be done. This is how we can learn from each other, and learn to grow inwards and blossom deeper and deeper.

19. To stop and appreciate oneself is super important, and in this letter to self blog, it is great to see how we can be with ourselves in terms of giving space and allowing an understanding that we can then bring to all others around us too.

20. When love is not lived within ourselves it is impossible to live it with others. Hence any relationship issue we have with another comes not from the other person but by the lack of love lived within ourselves.

21. Every relationship reveals its true colours with time.

22. We know ‘me’ intimately and back to front, but choose for so long to put out different versions of ourselves. Our bodies and the universe are telling us so clear that we should leave this role playing to the actors and just move and live with what we know is true and real. Thank you B.

23. Not speaking the truth is devastating, we may not feel it because we have opted to befriend numbness which is where most of us settle.

24. The more I accept the magnificence of myself, the more steady I feel in life, because I am beginning to ever more live my truth. Life is so much more joyful, it is such a beautiful experience to enjoy life, people and everything that the two together bring.

    1. …and when we meet that magnificence in ourselves we see it is the equal magnificence in us all, the truth we all are and in essence the same.

25. Love this play on very real realities that we can choose to be our way in life. I know them all very well… yet only the last, Love, acceptance and understanding brings any truth to living. Truth that comes from deep within and cannot wait but to share with us in every aspect of our lives.

26. Getting back to our relationship with ourselves is key to having more love and understanding for others. One thing I am learning is that I am only able to accept others, as much as I am able to accept myself.

27. ‘Your steadiness and patience is inspirational, your love, endless. I’ve realised that none of my other relationships can give me anything that I’m not already, and that none of them will have any foundation unless I’m prepared to build a true relationship with you first: the real Me.’ It really is something to start to accept – we are already everything.

    1. Yes, how important is that, to realise we are already everything and then we live from that space. It is incredibly humble yet it has been twisted to be considered the opposite and associated with an arrogance that must be shamed and avoided.

28. When we choose comfort over truth, we do not grow and whilst there are many flavours of comfort, it is all one and the same.

29. ‘But no matter how many detours I take, however long I delay, you’re always there, waiting for me to reconnect to you in my own time.’ And when we choose to make that connection we wonder why we held back for so long.

30. Gorgeous blog – shedding your light over you and your relationship with yourself in the past and now. Brilliant to see the difference and notice the honesty you have come to with yourself.

31. When we do take time to connect to ourselves, we find that we aren’t half bad after all, and leaving ourselves turns out to be just crazy talk.

32. Going for a walk or even sitting talking to myself isn’t the actions of a crazy person, but when connected to my body there is a two way conversation in a way. The body is highly responsive to all my actions and it shows me how to best be with it and my true self.

33. It seems we take on all of these personas to be someone we feel will be accepted, recognised for whatever and yet when we discard those acting roles we find that there is a perfectly acceptable person inside that requires no effort.

34. What a beautiful letter to your soul B

35. The absolute joy and contentment of having a true and growing relationship with oneself is the opposite to a dismissive, abusive ,non loving ,judgemental way of living with and this says everything and allows the knowing of true responsibility and purpose in our lives of why we are here.

36. All the detours we take until we accept to just be who we are.

37. The foundation we offer ourselves are essential for knowing who we are and what is true for us – there is no substitute no matter what is imposed. When we connect to our foundation it may seem like things are a little shaky for a while but as the foundations settle in the wobbles settle down and the impositions aren’t absorbed.

38. “I’ve worn myself out with fighting you, and with that I’m more open to seeing you for who you really are, and not who I thought you were.”

    It is an interesting pattern humanity has, that it needs to be humbled / worn out / struck with illness and/or disease / or a tragedy for us to be more open with ourselves and each other. This is why the work of Universal Medicine is so important, because it is not waiting for these events to happen, it is religiously and patiently showing us the true way forward, to lessen our walls of protection and to live our true selves in this world.

39. Reconnecting with ourselves is the foundation to All that lies before us.

40. We can have relationships that we are dogged with, I will make it work at all costs. Or, could it be a bit like our relationship with a dog? It doesn’t take anything personally, never holds back its affection and will always wait you to come home.

41. It is the connection to ourselves that nourishes and sustains us and not any ideologies, opinions, beliefs or ideals.

42. Thank you for sharing “I’ve worn myself out with fighting you, and with that I’m more open to seeing you for who you really are, and not who I thought you were.” In my later I do regret spending more time on others instead of myself. Despite what others say about me, I don’t know if I am awesome or not.

43. A great blog about people and how we can make true and deep changes from within that are genuine and absolutely game-changing…

44. As others have also shared since being involved in Universal Medicine I’ve gone from an abusive, distant and runaway relationship with myself to one where I feel lost when I don’t feel connected, the depth of relationship I have with myself today is a total transformation.

45. My relationship with myself is fundamental to me operating with quality in the world.

46. How we treat our body reflects everything about how we treat ourselves, hence we cannot say we love ourselves if this is not reflected in our relationship with our body in terms of what we eat, how we move etc.

47. It is never too late to re-establish a true relationship with oneself however it does not have to be until we have played out all the ‘roles’ and into older age. Pass this on to children by example and it is the greatest gift and education we can share.

48. When we fight ourselves consistently over a long period of time, could this be the beginnings of auto-immune conditions where the body begins to fight itself?

    1. Great point Henrietta. How different the world might be if we were all to focus on reconnecting to the truth of who we are and letting go of all these identities we have courted and, in some cases married along the way. The illness and disease rates would surely look very different.

49. A relationship with self is so important. I still keep finding that I can be so hard on myself and critical and demanding, but when I look at it in terms of how I could be with myself and my capacity to be supportive, understanding and loving and honest, this takes on a whole new meaning and makes me want to hang out with myself and deepen my relationship with myself in that way.

50. This really reminds me of many things in life where we find the thing we know is perfect and all we wanted and then just to be sure, try out all the other things, only to find out in the end the first we felt was the best.

51. And I feel a deeper connection of total devotion and dedication is needed that will access the universality that my body truly holds and shine out Love and Grace that is infinite.

52. so relatable

53. A beautiful sharing of the absoluteness of being who we are ,loving ourselves and the immensity of this in the world.

54. I am always tickled by this idea of writing to yourself. We are so used to receiving bills and junk mail in the post. Imagine if we wrote ourselves reminders and received these timely love letters in the mail? I guess these days Email is more prevalent, but as our inbox fills up – what if one of these was a message from us, confirming our own beauty? Writing this has got me feeling B that every thing that we do, every move that we make we are effectively sending love letters to the future. For when we pick up that bag, put on that coat we get the energy it was done in. This is a much greater package than we think.

    1. Joseph, I love this. What if the quality we did everything in was treated as a love letter either to ourselves or to another?

    2. I love this idea too.. that the love we put into our actions, comes back to us – and ripples out to everyone else. If we prepare something lovingly, we then feel the care and love we took with it, later, and it inspires us to keep making those same, and even more loving, choices.

55. I love the playfulness in this blog as it reveals great revelations many if not all can relate to.

56. There’s a million ways we can mould ourselves, whether it be the fence-sitter or the go-getter but all of these different versions of ourselves take an enormous amount of energy and time and effort. I think a massive part of being content in who you are is knowing that we are learning, we don’t need to be perfect and it’s ok to just be you and not need to be more or less or anything else.

57. It is such a relief when we accept ourselves for who we are and what we are here to bring, and not try to be and do something that we think we should be. Once we accept, the fight is over and we have so much more energy as when we surrender and accept this we are allowing ourselves to be moved by this flow.

58. “I’m starting to let go of relying on my head and on others to tell me who I am.” I was reflecting on what you were saying here and realised just how different my life is since letting go of trying to think and work out who I am and instead let myself feel from my body who I am, how I am and what is true for me. Its a huge difference and once that I feel far more content and complete with today as a result.

59. We can try to flee away for years, lifetimes even but there comes a moment in time where we have to surrender to the intelligence of the body who will lead us back to our true origins. So what is wise, to remain in ignorance for the rest of our life or make the choice to reconnect to the stillness and delicacy our body has on offer for us?

60. It’s never too late to work on a relationship. Our soul is always there to welcome us no matter what we have done or how distant we have been.

    1. Yes Nikki, our Soul is always ready and waiting.

61. Developing a relationship with self has two parts (at least). There is an ‘easy’ part and that is to be able to connect deeply to ourselves and appreciate the beauty, solidness, endless thoroughness that we are. This is life changing. It is very confirming and gives you an anchor, a weight that helps you to move differently. There is another part: to relate to the character we have become, which has an underlying (even remote) truth. That is very confirming too but on a totally different level.

62. The impact of accepting ourselves for who we are rather than fighting this and trying to be something/one else is so far reaching and leads to a relationship with life full of appreciation and purpose.

63. Our relationship with ourselves is the first and most important one we have. It is what we can then base all other relationships on. If we are unkind to ourselves this way of being will be exposed in our relationship with others. There is no hiding. The way we relate to ourselves is there for all to see and feel.

64. Oh My! am I enjoying my connection back to me, I never for a minute knew I had such unbelievable joy in my body and that I just love the details of life that connect me back to God. He is everywhere the air I breath, the in between movements I make, everything I touch has God all over it. If your not comfortable with the word God then I’ll use the word Universe as to me God is the Universe. I have been so tricked and fooled into believing that life is so mundane and boring and to help me get through it I needed say a superbly cooked meal and a few glasses of wine, or a G&T at the end of the day to just take the edge the mundaneness of everyday life. Or a holiday to get away from it all for a while and re charge my batteries which always seemed to be running on ‘Red’ warning.
    My relationship with me has under gone a transformation, a complete ‘U’ turn. I now adore me and my body which is an absolute miracle from the withdrawal and depressed state I was in.

65. When i first heard the idea of having a relationship with myself i thought that sounded crazy, that was 12 years ago, and today I can say with all of me that it is not only far from crazy, it is exactly what i had been searching for and was there all along.

66. We can try very hard to become something we are not and totally ignore the very fact of who we are is all already there inside us without any need to try at all. That is a crazy way to behave.

67. “Your steadiness and patience is inspirational, your love, endless.” When this is on offer to us everyday, it does make me wonder why, and I speak for myself here, on earth would I choose to ignore or dismiss it?

68. What greater relationship can there be – “You show me who I am, without hiding anything, and without criticism, and give me the space to be and love me”? This blog highlights what amazing support there is in every moment of the day, once we open up to the constant and absolute reflection of truth provided by our bodies.

69. Thank you B, I can relate very much to fence sitting and numbness, but more so not allowing myself to feel what’s going on. I had never realised until this blog that of course that means if I don’t allow myself to fully sense and feel what’s happening then I also don’t provide an opportunity for others to grow through my action and expression. High five B 🙂

70. What I am appreciating about deepening my relationship with myself is how much more I am aware of what my body and I do so well together. It feels rather like meeting up with a long lost friend from my childhood – someone who I could always depend on but who never put any demands on me. What a beautiful opportunity this is for anyone who chooses to reconnect to who they are in full.

71. Love the picture you paint of Fence Sitter, amusing but telling strokes of the comfortable ways that rock no one’s boats, but worse, depict the calculated way of dealing with life, that no one grows from.

72. Self-flagellation has never Truly served anyone, so could it be when we beat-our-selves-up it is to keep us in the horror and misery of being dis-connected?

73. Recognising abuse is huge, and then to make the necessary steps to stop it is even huger. There is a base level of respect that every human being deserves, quite simply just for turning up and for breathing, there is no acceptability below this. And so, to turn away and not take action when abuse is seen is an inditement upon us all as we have collectively all throughout time been accepting ways of being and living with each other that is far below what is the base level norm. This is why it is so huge to stand up against abuse, because you are in affect standing up against a trend of relating to each other which we have all created time and time again over millennia.

74. There is so much humbleness and patience from our body, it is constantly loving us and reminding us to return to a deeper love, it is so very beautiful.

75. Our first relationship is with ourselves first , this being the foundation for everything is very beautiful and expansive to realise. it makes all the difference with our body always there guiding us no matter what simply waiting for us to embrace it and listen to our wisdom innately within us all forever deepening.

76. I feel it’s healthy to speak to ourselves all the time. We can insure that the way we speak to ourselves is loving, so we feel taken care of and loved. It’s a beautiful way to provide ourselves with the support that we need.

77. Very true Elizabeth, it is crazy really to think we can have a true relationship with others when we are first not having a relationship with ourselves. Then we can take to others what we have built within.

78. It is so easy to think that by doing everything for others or another is the best way to truly support them. But the problem is all it does is superficially support them whilst draining us at the same time and then we lose the real sense of who we are. As has been said in the blog and comments the key is to honour and appreciate the relationship with ourselves and then to take this quality to everybody else. Which then supports others to turn to be more of themselves simply by offering them the space to do so.

79. Numbness was my speciality, I did that super well. If I could not feel then I did not have to take responsibility for my choices and actions and I could blame all others for my miserable life.

80. I’ve been out with these guys too, a number of times. They are up to no good leading us astray and then in the lurch. A great lesson in discernment and taking mastery in one’s life. Like you when I listen to the guy inside who supports me to be tender and loving with myself first, that’s where things change and I get to feel what a great relationship we have and the potential for more.

81. Thank you B for laying out so beautifully how it is only through being in union with our Soul that we discover all that we are, as such can live the light we are born to live. And as you have shared, any other relationship we invest in is a distraction, a resistance, a withdrawal and pale in comparison to the power and magnificence of our innate Divinity.

82. What a gorgeous playful way of reflecting on how the many ideals and beliefs we can adopt and run with, however great they may look and sound, always take us miles away from the connection, love and clarity that is our true expression.

83. I know when my body wants to speak with me I can get defensive, but the more I listen to it, the more I feel it has nothing but love for me – if there is any strict words those are not from my body but rather from how I interpret it, so somehow I come back to surrendering to the body.

84. I love this website and this blog, it responds to an issue that most of us are missing and not looking at. Put simply a relationship with our body that is connecting, nurturing responsive rather than reactive. Through this we connect with something much deeper than we can currently in our temporal head fathom. Connection with our bodies is divine.

85. I will never get to know the real me if I hold on to that which I think is me. To know the true me is allowing myself to surrender and taking every moment that comes my way to evolve to the best of my ability. My path is set out in front of me; all I have to do is say yes and succumb to it.

86. Touched again by the power of appreciation and the impact it has when we let it be part of our daily lives.

87. I love a good love letter and this is one that inspires me to address myself and my body with ever more tenderness and respect. Thank you.

88. It’s amazing and very healing to get to know ourselves at deep intimate levels, it is not fostered in education or work, it is left up to us to re establish that connection. And when we do, it is another beautiful step towards seeing how we are in relationship to others.

    1. How true – majority of us are not growing up understanding the importance of a deeply honoring and honest connection with ourselves.

89. Wrong and right have been close companions of mine for quite some time. I used to get great satisfaction in being ‘right’ whereas what I see now is that it is an arrogant stand that we make to keep us separate from another and does not allow understanding or an opportunity to learn from any given person or situation.

90. Many of us do get caught in the ideas of being ‘versions’ of ourselves for different people, taking what we call our real self home behind closed doors, but that weary person is not the real us either. By playing up to other people’s or our own ideas of what we should we lose ourselves. The true us is within and humbly waiting for us to accept it and know that it is enough.

91. ‘I liked to take my time, flirting with many versions of you that weren’t really it.’ – How familiar, living the many versions of myself that was never me.

    1. Yes I know this too well Eva…the many versions of me…It is such a relief when we re-connect back to the real me and allow our selves to simply be.

92. The beauty and wisdom of simply ” being me “is very special to feel for ourselves with a freedom, joy and responsibility that is life transformational, and our soul in the oneness of all we are, is singing loudly with the love and simplicity this allows . An inspiring blog to share.

93. The more I explore the relationship with myself, the more I realise how much it is the foundation of all my experiences in life. It is truly fundamental – and a loving relationship with self is the fertile ground for loving relationships with others.

94. How hard we try to become someone while all along we allready are, and not just someone but the divine one.

95. Our bodies and our beings are very humble, they are with us at all times, even when we are lost in our heads and deny that we are more than physical matter. We have a wealth of wisdom within us, if we are willing to explore and be open to it.

96. This really highlights the detours of avoidance we take instead of taking the direct route and making life simple.

    1. True Julie – choosing to get side tracked often makes life really complicated.

97. I’m really getting how right and wrong is bad for ones self esteem. Life in constant judgement of oneself and others is tiring too- all that thinking! All the workings out and so far from just being, just being love and the instant connection to what is true and what is not.

98. There is no other way to connect with any-thing other than through our self.

99. Our soul patiently waits for us to give it permission to enter our vehicle (body) and direct us on the path of return.

100. ‘But living as fake superheroes eventually took its toll’ I love this line. Reminds me of just how much pretense I have been in at times in my own life, under the impression that it will somehow make things work.

     1. Yes, I agree. The madness of trying to keep everything looking good on the surface… it is unkind and dishonest to ourselves, let alone others.

101. Such a gorgeous article B I just love the way you have captured the illusion of our created lives, and come back to claim the truth of who we truly are, divinely created sons of God.

102. “I’ve always known you were there, waiting for me to connect to you” – having a relationship with ourselves, is like having a relationship with the Soul and our body and allowing the body to express the soul in all its tenderness and all its power all at the same time. This is a power couple scenario and we are the ones who can get in the way, or on the contrary support and align with this amazing relationship.

     1. Indeed, it is only ‘us’ who can get in the way. I know for myself I have been offered everything and even then tried to make it fit a picture and so effectively got in the way, rather than allowing it to naturally unfold and develop. Our Soul is always and has always been there waiting for us. The question is how obiedient are we willing to be to it, or do we want to continue the fervour for self glory at all and any expense however harmful the consequences may be?

103. This blog is a great reminder for us all to look at our relationship with ourselves, to explore and feel what the quality of our relationship is like. Do we listen and tune into what we are feeling? Are we respectful and caring of the body we inhabit? Do we express (speak up, move, honour) all that we do feel…This is a very special relationship that actually forms the foundation of all relationships, as I have discovered and continue to discover.

104. Thank you, the relationship with self and ones body is the oldest and most continuous relationship one will have , therefore it needs to be well nurtured , and supported and no one can do that but the self.

     1. Indeed John, this knowing is ancient and comes from a body that is fully surrendered to the universal intelligence our body is in constant relationship with.

105. Being more of ourselves involves an absolute acceptance of whatever is going on for us and whatever we’re feeling in each moment. With acceptance, there is the potential for greater steadiness, consistency, confirmation and joy.

106. I am 100% with you that the truth of who we are is always there for us, in support of us, and no matter how many times we have turned away from it, it is still there unwavering in love for us. And every single time I have opened myself enough to connect with it the joy that I feel is unrefutable and unmistakable of this love, for me to have the marker to come back to it.

107. We could definitely ask what is it that puts us on the path of searching feeling we are not enough. With the teachings of Universal Medicine I have been deeply supported to honestly reflect and feel into this issue, and issue that has tainted my whole life until not so long ago. An issue that I can turn to on the odd occasion as it is my safety net of comfort in what I know. All that has been chipped away at as I deepen my return to myself and allow myself to feel my hurts. Never been confirmed for the incredibly beautiful being that i am and that this is all I ever need and that the Love is so strong that will melt anything and anyone.

108. This is the most important relationship we can have, the one with ourselves, as it sets the tone for all other relationships.

109. “But it turns out that by sitting there on the fence, the chaos around us didn’t just continue to happen, it got worse.” Taking responsibility can being your life alive.

110. Pingback: Letter to My Body – The Truth about Serge Benhayon

111. Dear Me, I found out that You are from God and what a life-transforming revelation that turned out to be.

112. “Bullying has taken place right in front of my eyes and it took a little while to see what was actually happening and call it out.” Bullying can happen in any given moment, in any situation and with anyone even those closest to us but bullying has to be called out for what it is to put a stop to the abusive movement regardless from whom it is coming through and being carried out.

113. Is there any relationship that is better than the one with our self? It asks nothing of you and reminds you that you are everything.

114. Dear Me, I found out that You are Love. That was a big, big surprise.

115. ‘We didn’t have time for ourselves anymore, and we realised that being all things to all people, to the detriment of ourselves, just wasn’t it.’ …. when we don’t have time for ourselves, we disconnect from the essence of who we are, then if we are morphing ourselves to be all things to all people, who are we? We become empty inside, filling ourselves up with the wishes and needs of others ….. they also miss out as we may be there physically, but there is nothing of our joyful, loving self there with them.

116. I’ve recently discovered a version of myself which is a reaction to being hurt by others and vowing to be myself no matter who is around me by putting up a wall. Am now letting go of this wall and being me with everyone. I feel super vulnerable at times but am willing to stay connected with my body and observe whatever comes up which can be feeling like a little child at times – very unnerving for a past 40 year old but the wall of protection that keeps me from truly being with others isn’t worth it anymore.

117. “I’m starting to let go of relying on my head and on others to tell me who I am.” How expansive is life when we do this. It’s the same for me, I used to rely on everyone to tell me what and who I was.. today I know its only myself that can express who I am. With deep appreciation for Universal Medicine.

118. Letting go of others telling us who we are is a life changing choice. Doesn’t mean they don’t keep trying but the choice is mine to listen and take it on.

119. Having an attitude of being right or being wrong are the same thing just opposite ends of the spectrum both are extremely harmful and do not bring awareness to the situation. We need to have a willingness to observe what there is to be learnt and then to bring this into our living way.

     1. A clear description of how to read and understand life.

120. Not only do we not see ourselves for who we are, we do not see others as well. We can often hold people in an old light when they have moved on and are very different people than how they were. It suits us to not see who they are now, as we do not want the reflection that they are offering.

121. When we are truly open and connected there are no pre-requisites for meeting people.

122. I love deepening the quality of the relationship I now have with myself – the delicacy with self nurturing, the flow and harmony in my movements and breath.

123. Nothing compares to connecting to our true self. We meet a completeness and wholeness that requires no appendages, no dressing up and no effort!

     1. Yes, and anything that is not complete or whole is not us and we don’t need it.

124. ‘when I got things wrong, I’d feel bad about myself, and treat others with the same harsh judgment.’ – there is a deep hurt under the harshness. A hurt from knowing that we are living a lie, with right and wrong, and that we are continuing to choose this false way of being over honesty, such is our pride, rather than to admit we’ve been ‘tricked’. In so doing, we are not only hurting ourselves, but are also adding to the harming energy that is pulling us all to live in a false way.

125. ‘I started to realise that I didn’t have any sense of what I felt was true, and nothing true to say, just a polite and socially acceptable version of myself, based on that list.’ …. with right and wrong, it’s very black and white, there are expectations about meeting certain ideals, beliefs, pictures. Truth is all that matters, being true to who we are, honouring ourselves and everyone else. Truth allows the space for us all to live with our own unique expression – we are all slightly different configurations of the same exquisite cloth, divinely connected and part of the same magnificent whole. Truth holds us all in the love that we are.

126. A beautiful humorous way to show the many facades we attempt to date with ourselves, in the avoidance of seeing and living our true beauty.

127. One of my relationships I had with myself was doing life all on my own because people couldn’t be trusted and I couldn’t be trusted not to lose myself in their issues – or that’s what I told myself when really I didn’t want to feel the hurt of being myself and someone being unloving to me. I created such strong barriers of protection when I was with people and today in a group of people who are very loving, all I could feel was my own hardness and criticism towards others and myself coming back at me. I felt how toxic it was and wanted to hide away even further but to come out of this shell and return to being the loving being I truly am I needed to be honest about this set-up I’d created. This is an old pattern of isolationism that I’m seeing more clearly, uncomfortable though it is, and letting go of. This life it is about connecting with others and being the love that we are altogether. I am miserable when I isolate myself and substitute intimacy with food or TV or ‘too much to do ‘ or ‘stressed’ or grumpy and hard done by. I can choose love and enjoy being me and enjoy others. I don’t have to harbour the shame of isolation.

128. We will never find in our heads who we are. The depth and magnitude of our essence can only be discovered from the body.

129. We go round and round in circles, here there and everywhere only to return to a place within us that remains the truest and most glorious part of us.

130. Our relationship with people is a reflection of the relationship with ourselves. So if we have developed a true relationship with ourselves, all our relationships will be in the same quality as well.

131. I just love, the way we are cherished, held and honoured in our choice to go here, there and all around in exploring things that often do not work, and given chance again and again to return to our inner wisdom and knowing, and true essence. This level of love and honouring is one that we could notice more and also learn to offer ourselves and others far more. Thank you for the gorgeous reminder of this.

132. High Five indeed, and that inner knowing is there no matter what, that not matter what we are trying to avoid, in what ever way that plays out, we will always have this within us to come back to.

133. As we deepen our relationship with ourselves, you show there is no need for anything from the outside, it is all there on the inside.

134. No other version of the real us can ever give us the true love joy and harmony that we all know is possible.

135. It is never too late to reconnect to who we are and begin to share this with the world.

136. It is an amazing realization when we can actually feel that all these different personas are an external energy we are choosing to run with, largely because we deem our inner essence to not be enough for the world. What a grace to re-discover and re-connect to an inner warmth and wisdom that far out strips any ideal and restores the authentic being to the world.

137. It seems that any true ‘love story’ must begin with loving ourselves. Then we can be a loving presence in the world. And what a wonderful difference this makes.

138. Jane that is the crazy thing we are responsible for all, it starts with us and ends with us, its our choices, our movements. Its that simple…. but do we want to take that responsibility?

139. Its great what you share and how easily we can be side tracked, but how also beautiful it is that we can come back to ourselves and know it is our true connection to us that is the way forward.

140. Research has found that there are a lot more single people living that way by choice now. Have they gone down your list and just given up or could they have found the perfect relationship… with themselves?

141. It is truly beautiful how easily we can return to a true connection with ourselves despite any choices we have been making prior to then.

     1. I agree Michael, we put so much effort into our different versions of ourselves, yet to return to our true selves’ there is an ease and with this a flow.

142. It’s funny that we spend our life looking for everything but us, when the most exquisite, simple and natural place we can find to stay forever is us ourselves.

     1. We keep looking outside of us as that’s what has been reflected to us by others, when there is true reflection to go in we then find our way back.

     2. Now you say it like this it really is crazy to search for everything but ourselves when it is the home we always wanted with a direct connection with the universe.

143. Isn’t is fascinating how creative we can be and how we will invent a myriad, an endless myriad, of personas, roles and personalities, to avoid the simplicity and power that we hold by simply being the real us. Which is why we fight and bludgeon our own bodies – the more cared for our body is, the clearer are its messages back to us that we are avoiding the glorious simplicity it is always offering us.

     1. agree Katerina all we have to do is surrender to the magnificence of who we are innately

        1. But when we are being constantly bombarded by forces that are preventing us from surrendering this is not an easy thing to do. That is why the modalities that Serge Benhayon has brought through are so important , as are the active teachings of the ageless wisdom. These things provide us with the crucial tools that enable us to be able to build our way back to our magnificence.

144. Why do we fight ourselves so much? I was considering this yesterday when I ate a food that doesn’t agree with me, yet again, I was thinking, why do I do this to myself? Well this is what came, it might not be the whole answer but this what is there thus far. What if we are actually perfect, that we are all powerful, super fantastic, unbelievable beings but we are afraid of what this means. What if we live all of this knowing and we find ourselves all alone? What if nobody can relate or understand us if we live all the amazingness that we are? What if people feel rejected by our confidence? What if others get jealous and attack us? Could these be some of the reasons we pick up that food that we know hurts us? Could it be a deliberate self-sabotage? A form of protection from what we perceive to be next? What if the way to get back to the real us, is to realise that there is nothing to get back to? That the “issues” we think we have are just cover ups. That if we move, eat, speak in a way that is not true all we need to do is remember that we are better of being true than being liked.

     1. I agree Sarah that there it is a game of numbers and because there is a weight or majority of us living a certain way, when we start to find our own way back to living more true to who we are we do feel a pressure to come back and conform again to what the majority are aligned to. However if we really connect with and appreciate how amazing it feels to live who we are again then this is way more powerful and steady than the pull to conform and we can then bring another way to everyone which leads to things changing and returning to a quality of life we all know and deserve to have.

145. Our Soul, and connection to God, is always present – it never leaves us… it is us who choose to move away.

     1. That is the beauty our Soul is always there,our connection to God is always there, it really us who play the games of not connection to what is simple and natural. We like complication so we go looking for everything outside of us.

146. Right and Wrong are so deeply embedded into our society’s systems that most of us are completely unaware of the illusion that they present. Our legal systems, religions and our education systems are three examples, but they also affect our psychology, our confidence, our mental health, as we expect to be judged by those in authority and by our peers. We even judge ourselves.

147. Clearing out that ‘stuff’ you describe brings more space into our bodies, letting us feel lighter and more aware.

148. This blog has outed so many of the false patterns of behaviour and beliefs that keep us away from who we are. I especially liked the realisation that right and wrong keep you from truth. Perhaps we don’t get to realise how precious truth is until we get a taste of it. Right and wrong may seem to keep things clear and decisive, but they also introduce judgment of self and others, thus separating us from them and blurring our ability to understand what’s going on.

149. I can really relate to fence sitter, waiting until it was safe, waiting for someone else to speak truth and only then following up on it, never being the one who spoke truth to a tough crowd. But now I’m far more willing to say what’s there to be said even when there maybe an initial reaction. This is only possible when I appreciate I am here to represent truth and love and my knowing everything else only brings suffering; and that we are all here to support one another in connection and absolute equalness.

     1. Yes.. appreciation is the absolute bedrock, the foundation, that supports us to speak the truth of what we can feel – because we know and value our own sense of what’s true, and the value that speaking our truth brings for others.

150. We run a thousand miles from the one relationship that truly nurtures and supports us, the relationship with ourselves. It is the true foundation for all other relationships which in turn reflect where we are at with ourselves.

     1. And the world is purposefully setup to keep us from that one relationship with ourselves, because there are forces at work that know that once we reconnect to who we are in truth, then we reconnect to the truth of who we all are.

151. This blog screams “there is another way!!”

     1. There sure is another way, a one-way for all equally.

152. The relationship with ourselves is so key to the quality of all our relationships with others.

153. Being who we truly are – there is nothing more beautiful

154. ‘I’ve realised that none of my other relationships can give me anything that I’m not already,’ This is an amazing fact. Amazing in that all the love you receive back form relationships is a reflection of what is already within you.

155. Oh boy, just how many of us spend too much time dating the many versions of ourselves that we think are our real selves? Too much time and energy. Our bodies are the way to our soul being able to express through our body. They cannot do this, unless we become steady and accept what they are delivering.

156. So often we see friends dating people where we feel it can only come to a bad end. Why do they put themselves through this ordeal? But when we look at ourselves as you do B we are very often doing exactly the same thing – but with drama and emotionality. Instead of giving these things up, perhaps it’d be easier if we thought of going steady with tenderness or getting serious with love? Just like any relationship these qualities require commitment and truth.

157. I love the breakdown of marrying right and wrong which exposes the recognition or drama which can result from this way of being all juiced up by constant judgement.

158. Loyalty, right and wrong, fence sitter – all ways to avoid connecting with the true me. I recognise all of these and that I have actioned these behaviours because I haven’t honoured myself, or appreciated myself deeply enough to know that in connection with my truth and essence I am more than enough.

159. We adopt many guises over a life time, try on this coat and that, get ourselves in a right muddle hoping the fit will last, but it doesn’t and we’re left feeling bereft and lost. To finally walk naked and come home to self sets us apart and free. The one thing resisted, in the end becomes our saving grace.

160. We create a life that we think is it but when we actually re-connect and surrender, which means being in our body and moving from the pulse that is within rather then moving from the outer pulse, our life is often very different to the picture we had in mind for our self. It takes loads of love, self acceptance and obedience to the divine plan to be able to do this.

161. I can recommend marrying Love. He or she are wonderful!

     1. Agree Christoph marrying love is the ultimate marriage.

     2. Well said Christoph!

     3. Brilliant Christoph, love your style, this really made me smile.

     4. Yes, and dating Tenderness and Harmony is pretty amazing too!

     5. I love that! Marrying Love and being forever more love.

162. Even though we all have different expressions of our real me, at the end of the day all of our real me’s are the One and only Me.

163. So many different ways and attitudes towards life – right and wrong, fence sitting, being good… Yet we come to discover that there is only one way to feel settled and fulfilled in life, and that is to know who we truly are and share that relationship with everyone.

     1. Yes we can try all sorts of coats on and roles in our lives but ultimately it is when we remove our coats altogether and allow who we naturally are to shine out, that we truly thrive in life.

164. A great blog to read and reacquaint ourselves with ourselves! To know ourselves and lovingly acknowledge our strengths and weaknesses is the only way for us to grow and evolve.

165. ‘But no matter how many detours I take, however long I delay, you’re always there, waiting for me to reconnect to you in my own time.’ – that’s the beauty in love, it doesn’t go anywhere, it is always there for us, without expectation or judgment, waiting to hold us in a tender hug.

166. ‘You started to show me who I am: nothing of what I thought I was supposed to be, and everything about who I actually am but have fought against for so long.’ – it’s amazing how we can be so ready to believe in everything we are not over embracing and allowing ourselves to feel everything that we truly are.

167. If you look back in hindsight it sounds pretty funny, but also ‘stupid’. Knowing exactly what we do to not connect to our true selves. Whereas the cycles we live in keep offering us all the support to come back to our divine origin and make another choice.

     1. It’s an interesting and insidious game we play to be ignorant of something we already know!

168. “I’ve worn myself out with fighting you…” We can put so much time and energy into fighting ourselves – is it no wonder exhaustion is so rife in todays society. And yet our bodies are constantly, lovingly showing us our choices but also that there is another way – if we but stop and listen.

     1. It is rarely understood the degree to which we ‘fight’ ourselves, we have internal battles and wars, and generally are unhappy with our lot. And yet it doesn’t have to be this way. We can step away from this and choose to love ourselves instead. For most of us this is not easy to do without support. Serge Benhayon has dedicated his life and brought new awareness to how we, as human beings, relate to ourselves and others. He offers the ageless wisdom teachings, practical tools, gentle breath meditation and esoteric modalities to guide and inspire. The choice to follow this way or not is always ours to make.

169. This is so important in our return to the truth of who we are…”I’m starting to let go of relying on my head and on others to tell me who I am.” Living from our bodies rather than our minds, and no longer seeking acceptance, confirmation or recognition from others… because we know within ourselves who we truly are – our bodies tell us so.

170. ‘I’ve worn myself out with fighting you, and with that I’m more open to seeing you for who you really are, and not who I thought you were.’I can really relate to this and how beautiful it is to let go of the pictures, the shoulds of how I ought to be, to uncover who I am. It’s lovely because though unfamiliar at times it’s also like meeting a loved one I’d lost touch with.

171. “I’ve worn myself out with fighting you” its amazing how much energy this can suck out of you, fighting oneself.

     1. It has the benefit of being very involving as it is a very equal fight and me and I get equally damaged in the process, so we may not notice what it does to me.

172. ‘I’ve worn myself out with fighting you, and with that I’m more open to seeing you for who you really are, and not who I thought you were.’ well said B…And then we can truly be our own best friend.

173. I’m also discovering there is no other relationship that can fill the space of our own relationship with ourselves. It is the light and reflection for co-creation of all other relationships.

174. We avoid the true me for as long as all the false versions of me still seem to work somehow. We know what we are doing, how to avoid the true me while we are suffering from that doing, complaining about the discontent and or misery we experience thereby and try hard to make things better. There is method to the madness.

175. “‘But living as fake superheroes eventually took its toll.” Yes, and there are many roles that are seemingly the absolute antithesis of superheroes – yet they are still roles, hiding places, comfort blankets and they are still keeping us from our truth.

176. “but I’ve recently reached a point in my life where I really felt like re-connecting with you.” This is the beginning to our return to our truth. I feel that almost all of us feel this at multiple points in our lives; yet how many of us then have the commitment and courage to take those steps, to explore that relationship, to see and accept what might come up…or do we turn away to the multitude of distractions and quick fixes that the world has on offer. Rebuilding that relationship with ourselves takes love and courage and I have huge appreciation for all those who are prepared, no matter how messy it might be, to engage in that process – myself included!

177. Dating fence-sitter sounds like a crack-up – well not really, it sounds terrible. But a crack-up to look back on 🙂

178. We can run with these different versions for many years and often they fit us seemingly so well that we assume them as who we really are, comfortable in living this lesser form of who we are, but in truth there is so much more to us if we can let go of all these versions and connect with who we really are.

179. “But it turns out that by sitting there on the fence, the chaos around us didn’t just continue to happen, it got worse.“ I tried this a lot to slow down so much to stop the anxiety I felt but it always got more intense. What truly works is going in and committing to life.

     1. Commitment to self transforms all areas of our lives because it is ourselves that are accessing all areas of life, therefore through our commitment to ourselves, we commit to life and life changes. By sitting back and not committing, we give life free reign to be whatever mutated version of life that it wants to be.

180. Excuses we all have them and use them as get-out-of-taking-responsibility-free cards. But when you feel how deeply gorgeous and divine you truly are, no excuse is worth the pain of not living you.

181. I too found The Gentle Breath Meditation hugely helpful in starting the reconnection with myself and as a continuing support with this, returning and returning me whenever I strayed to a version of myself.

182. There is such wisdom held in our bodies and it is never ending, always signalling to us, regardless of how hard we try to numb out what we feel, the messages eventually get through. It might only happen with a catastrophe, but eventually we stop and listen.

     1. Yep listen to the body not to the mind!

183. ‘But living as fake superheroes eventually took its toll.’ there are so many different roles we play in relationships but whatever they are, if they are not truly us then they are harmful to all.

184. “I’ve always known you were there, waiting for me to connect to you, but I liked to take my time, flirting with many versions of you that weren’t really it. Each time they disappointed me.” Oh my goodness, how many times have I felt this to the bone, but still overridden what I felt and gone ahead only to fall flat on my face in disappointment. How interesting it is that even though we know we know, we so often choose to ignore what we feel and listen to what we ‘think’ we should do instead, only to find that it was a poor decision. It just shows how much more intelligent our bodies are than our minds.

185. This is such an honest and fun exposé of the different things we turn to in order to avoid full being with ourselves – an interesting exercise for all of us to consider!

186. This is such an awesome, playful, yet real way to be open and honest about all the crazy things we do to avoid what is already all there for us.

187. A beautiful, playful, tender letter, thank you for sharing this, B. When I read, ‘I love the way you’re just not personal, and don’t take anything personally’, I got this feeling of this intimate relationship with ourselves embracing everyone and everything at the same time. So when we let our relationship with ourselves deepen, there is an instant expansion to include everyone.

     1. Beautifully said Matilda. When we connect to our true essence, a steadfast openhearted quality, we naturally open our hearts to everyone.

188. We are so used to trying to ‘be something’, we fail to realize what a rich source of natural vitality, integrity, love and wisdom we are!

189. ‘Loyality’, ‘fencesitter’ and ‘rightandwrong’ are behavior patterns that can keep one on a ‘merry-go-round’ in perpetual motion away from the stillness and steadiness of the Soul

190. The steadiness and patience of the Soul is a quality that never gives up on the person.

191. This is a great blog to read, as it shows how the realisation and awareness of something not working does not have to be made personal about someone (another or towards oneself) when the quality of energy / behaviour is identified

192. There is no substitute for an inner love and devotion, but there is certainly plenty to be shared with others.

193. Know the real me, now it isn’t something we really get a solid handle on so it appears – and because we have made life all about doing before being, we endlessly search and search until we return to being.

     1. Very true, Harry. It’s very beautiful to discover that ‘being’ is all about surrender and allowing – so much more gentle and loving than the busyness of ‘doing’.

194. Funny (not) how often we have to go through all that is not true to reach the truth that was always there. We certainly seem to enjoy creating complications and distractions for ourselves to avoid love of all things!!!

     1. Yes there is this idea that we can’t come back to ourselves without a discarding process but we can. It’s only that we have to deal with responsibility.

        1. We love the identification of the struggle but it is not needed – we can at any moment choose to come back to ourselves and yes sometimes we may have a bit of mess to clean up and take responsibility for on the way!

        2. And that mess can seem momentary when we’ve said yes to the responsibility and coming back to ourselves.

     2. Its true we enjoy creating complications and distractions for ourselves to avoid the love of all things, but if we just allowed the natural flow and the simplicity its all there for us to access.

        1. Yes we avoid the love of all things and we avoid love of all things ie how strange that what we are avoiding is love!!! – when I wrote that line I had a giggle as you can take it two ways both of which apply.

     3. Ha ha ha, oh yes, you are right Nicola it’s not funny because it hurts and it’s draining when we create complications and distractions, all to avoid being love. This doesn’t feel enjoyable but very familiar.

        1. Complications are very enjoyable to the spirit as described in Unimedpedia spirit: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-spirit.html it even enjoys the hurt and exhaustion… thus the end game to liberate ourselves from this inane situation is to align and connect to our Soul where love resides and not indulge in spiritual ways.

     4. ha ha Jane you are so correct that it is and always was under our nose. The ha ha is because the nose like in Pinocchio can symbolise a lie and looking outside of ourselves is a lie as truth lies (pun intended) within 😉

195. Yes me you are absolutely awesome. B – what you say about your relationship with right and wrong is absolute gold. The recognition we get from being ‘right’ the drama and self bashing we indulge in when ‘wrong’ perfectly exposes how fruitless the choice to live from our heads is.

196. I love your writing – so relatable and easy to understand. And what a journey. Thank you for sharing this with the world.

197. I’ve had a rollercoaster of a relationship with Me. And if i’m honest until recently hadn’t really embarked on getting to know the real me. Well now i’ve started I can honestly say I will never go back to being a stranger 🙂

     1. Which, may I say, is great news for all of us 🎉

198. That was a fun read B, how complicated our lives can become when we date all of these relationships outside of us.

199. Any relationship that isn’t built on the real me seems to crumble away and disappear. I remember times being with people and just feeling so false. It was a relief to be by myself but I was so lonely because I wasn’t with myself. The greatest joys is being me with people and by myself.

200. How important is our relationship with ourselves – the honesty, the openness, the imtimacy. Essentially we have the capacity to be our very own best friend and the best part about this is that the moment we do that, then we actually can bring that same quality to everyone else.

201. I love this blog, so playful but profoundly true. So many of us recognise those twists and turns, attempting to find ourselves. The gentle Breath meditation allows us to stop and make space to feel the connection inside. That’s where it began for me too B, I only had to hear the name and the Me I was missing spoke out loud “this is for you!” We do know we are there but choosing us is a different matter and takes much awareness and care-full attention. That is the journey of true love.

202. I have just re-read this blog and it’s depth and layers keep unveiling themselves.

203. It is only by being with the real Me, that I am able to be with the real Anyone Else because it is the real us that act as portals into the real everyone else. Until we re-connect with the real us’s, our way into everyone else is barred.

204. What’s ironic is that we go looking for ourselves in the distractions, never realising that it’s the distractions that keep us in separation from the very thing that we are looking for, ourselves.

     1. Yes so true, and the distractions can come under many persuasive guises too.

        1. Everything that is not truth is a distraction.

205. So many ‘me’s’ that I thought were me but there is only ever one Me.

     1. And of course, the ‘grander Me’ that we collectively all are, is God, which as you say Jane has been there all along. The only purpose of the pictures and the beliefs is to distract us from the truth of who we all are.

206. What a pivotal point when finally know whom to address: the real ME.

207. I loved reading this B, and I can relate to all of your dating adventures! It’s quite bizarre really how we complicate our lives and have to learn our lessons over and over again before we are willing to accept that all that is required of us is to let go of the urge to control things and learn to simply ‘be’ our true selves.

208. This is so beautiful and can be felt by every cell in my body. It has been a dose of true medicine and an invitation to step back into life with an amazing partner and relationship – a relationship that asks for true responsibility, integrity and honesty. Thank you B.

209. I love this blog and the fun way that it is written which makes it easy to admit that I too have done all the things that you mentioned above and have had to see through those behaviours and attitudes and let them go.

210. Loyalty was a big one for me, putting everyone else first and me at the bottom of the list, and I wondered why I always seemed at the bottom of everyones list….. it was because I had put myself there by not having or building a loving relationship and connection with myself first.

211. A great understanding of the importance of building our relationship with ourselves first and from there everything else can grow. The stability contentment within and beauty of simply being who we are is very beautiful to feel when we allow it and is always there for us as you share so clearly.

212. As we go through life and using your list of experimenting with relationships, we do get to the point of being feed up and just accept less or just shut down and quit trying altogether? If we cant stand being with ourselves what makes us think a relationship will fill us with what we believe we are missing?

213. It all comes back to connecting to the body we walk around in and the immense wisdom contained within, a life long practice of returning to our innate knowing and abandoning all the false ideas and pictures gathered along the way.

214. The thing is it is not like we can divorce ourselves, or even have a trial separation, (even though a lot of us are so numb and checked out that could be considered being separate from ones body) so we might as well move on in truth and love and appreciate all that we are.

215. “Your steadiness and patience is inspirational, your love, endless.” That to me says it all, me is the one to be with but for long I have run away from because of its qualities that did not meet my desire to create.

216. For me dating pictures has been the most destructive relationship thus far. Pictures, like dating RightandWrong is designed to have you up and down and tossed all over the place like in a washing machine. Every time I say that’s enough and let go of pictures there is truth standing patiently and strong ready to be seen and felt again.

217. There was a period when I became disillusioned with the whole dating game as each time my ‘dates’ turned out to be very different to how I’d imagined. I withdrew, knowing there was more, but not understanding that ‘it’ was already with me, it WAS me, all I had to do was choose to re-connect.

     1. Indeed Alison, same with me and it feels that I have done this for many many lives. But thanks for me meeting Serge Benhayon this lifetime I have been inspired to return simply to me, the one to be with and to reconnect to for the rest of my life.

218. ‘You were asking me to commit to being with you, and to be who I was, and I wasn’t ready to give up the life I’d created.’ … we can become so used to living a lie, it can be hard to be honest enough to acknowledge the truth of how we are actually living and how far away from our true selves we have drifted. The good news is, it’s a simple choice to re-connect back to us, any time we choose to do so.

219. I love this.No more looking to make myself a certain way or look outside of myself to how I should be. What if I am my ‘match made in heaven’? It’ll stop all the trying, the searching the disappointment.

     1. Exactly, just an acceptance that we are already all we ever need to be.

220. The playfulness in which this blog is written helps us deflate the seriousness and critisism that we often view ourselves with.

221. “I’ve worn myself out with fighting you, and with that I’m more open to seeing you for who you really are, and not who I thought you were.” now thats one I can completely relate to, how often have I spent time fighting myself, more time than I can count! How life is different when I stop the fight and allow myself to really feel and be who I am.

222. Yes – I recognise how I have put my relationship with others over and above my relationship with me – head and shoulders above, if I am honest! To begin this re-balancing I am having to appreciate how much I am worth and to commit to going deeper with all that is offered within my relationships from that foundation of worth, which leads to more expression and more commitment – an ever-deepening loop of evolution.

     1. Michelle I too believed that I spent many, many years putting my relationships with others above my relationship with myself but what I now realise is that because I didn’t put any real value or worth into my relationship with myself then it was impossible for me to put anything of true value into my relationship with others.

223. Absolutely agree B there is no one more loving and a true match for us than our true selves. We are already ‘a match made in heaven’, and not living this full reflection brings a lot of experiences but are they really needed or wanted?

224. Isn’t this crazy ‘I’ve worn myself out with fighting you, and with that I’m more open to seeing you for who you really are, and not who I thought you were.’ This represents the wars that have been ongoing for so long in humanity when in truth we are again fighting ourselves as we are one.

     1. It is crazy! These wars we fight with each other and within ourselves we can just drop.

225. It is quite strange – we can ‘marry’ a person with such a dominant characteristic or we can just adopt the characteristic ourselves.

226. This is a very cool illustration of how we entertain the many different versions of ourselves on offer. I could have added a couple of others in there personally. We can be like rats on a wheel, just going round and round but instead of repeating cycles that actually work for us, we keep trying other ones out – avoiding the inevitable.

227. Thank you B, for this hilarious description of the different hats we are choosing to wear through life, I kept nodding while I was reading and saying to myself “yep, I recognise that one and oh yes I remember that one too…”

228. Parts of his letter made me kind of teary. As I was reading about this exquisite relationship we each have with our Soul, I was getting more and more of a sense of how much love, care and honouring we are held in – always – regardless of the shenanigans we may get up to.

229. There is something in the way that you have written this blog that just resonates so strongly with me and I sure others feel the same way. I have often heard that we treat our cars with more respect and attention than we do ourselves and looking around I feel that is a fair statement to make. But what is it really about us that has us all behaving in such a reckless manner to the point that we actually make our selves seriously ill through our lack of self regard, self respect and self love. Where’s the motivation coming from that we behave in such a way?

     1. Yes, each of these ‘people’ we marry we treat with a lot of respect until we finally see through them or replace them with something else. It is as if we don’t discern very deeply.

230. Our one and only partner in crime is our body – which is where our relationship with the truth of who we are lies. All of the other pursuits are merely distractions away from the fact that everything is within already.

     1. Our body is our partner in love, wisdom and awareness if we listen and even if we do not but then it has to speak ever louder and more firmly.

231. I have always had a relationship with myself though until I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine it was an abusive and unloving one. Now through that reflection and support my relationship is deepening in love for myself and the re-connection with my Soul.

232. What Im appreciating having read your blog B, is that although I too have had many relationships like these, (and more!) and was undoubtedly on downward path, I am now having a realtionship with myself that I would never have previously dreamed was possible, let alone realised that it even existed. To have come to know myself in the way that I do now has been liberating beyond words, and today I can absolutley celebrate the choices I have made to be where I am now.

233. Love the humour in this B, RightandWrong with all the pictures this couple have, may seem like the ideal relationship from the outside, but when you get behind the scenes I know it feels awful, controlling and manipulative in my body.

234. Love it, its simple, the connection to who we are starts in the body.

235. “I’m starting to let go of relying on my head and on others to tell me who I am.” – it really is amazing, how much our head, our pictures and the opinions of others dictate how we are and what we think of ourselves. What you describe is incredible because so few people feel like they know who they really are, or they feel they have felt or met that person and don’t like them, finding nothing more than the anxiety or hurts or anger they feel when they stop for a moment. But what if underneath it all, there is the truth of us that is none of those layers we have come to believe is who we are.

236. Very gorgeous to read. Love the playfullness in your expression B. The lightness and no judgment in how you see yourself in different stages of your life is very powerful. Dear Me or Dear Us I would say because, who doesn’t know Mr RightandWrong? With him I spent the most part of my life and he still knocks on my door sometimes. But how freeing is to just observe him and simply say “no this time and never more”.

237. Choosing a true and loving relationship with ourselves means we are able to live in our power, so, why would we not choose this? Is it because it means we will have to change and discard all our ill behaviours and patterns, and start taking responsibility in all areas of our life and our relationships?

     1. Indeed – the question is, are we willing to let go of the ‘comfort’ that our ill behaviours are providing us?

238. ‘But no matter how many detours I take, however long I delay, you’re always there, waiting for me to reconnect to you in my own time.’ such is the love of our soul.

239. “what I loved is the recognition I got from the right, and the dramas of the wrong” – This is so accurate in capturing our relationship to right and wrong. We enjoy the rollercoaster, politics and arguments that are inevitable when we are constantly trying to prove our ‘rightness’ against other people’s ‘rightness’, but where is the truth in this? Where is the consideration of the whole, and everyone involved? Could it be this is in fact the perfect way to distract us from the truth?

240. I love the way you share the choices of what we have all done, the twists and turns of life that did not work, the rabbit holes I got stuck in too, and return to finding you still there patiently waiting to build a relationship with yourself. We have to be at that point, ready to return, and choose ourselves.

     1. Gill thats so true, its our choices to return to ourselves to build that relationship that has been the greatest gift I’ve not only given myself but everyone else.

241. So many dates and flirtations! I know this well! They are all just a delay to stop us embracing the love that we can find within.

242. Yes B, the Gentle Breath Meditation was also the starting point for me, of a truer relationship with myself and then with others.

243. We can waste so much time and energy on trying to be someone we are not, only to find that when we just surrender to who we truly are, the wealth of who we are surpasses all our expectations.

244. To come to learn for ourselves and commit to ourselves is like letting go of many shells which seem to protect us but in truth they harm us and others. Only when we realise the harming effect of them, like you did B, can we tend to let them go more easily.

245. I dated Nice off and on for many years, but nice was untrue and never faithful and left me feeling deflated and pretty worthless.

246. We can’t get away from the people and situations we find ourselves in when we go out with Fence-Sitter. There is so much comfort in going out with Fence-Sitter that as I begin to dump him, it can at first bring up a lot of discomfort in my body, yet it is quickly followed by joy as I re-imprint a new way of being.

247. This blog was so playful and such a breath of fresh air, thank you for sharing the real you, with all of us.

248. I love your love letter B as our soul is unimposing, patient, waiting for us no matter how long it will take us to fall in love with us again.

249. Low and behold, my relationship with me has led to a relationship with God and the more intimate I become with myself, the more intimate my relationship with God becomes .

250. Yes, when we are willing to build a loving and true relationship with ourself, then and only then will we be able to have a true and loving relationship with another.

251. B I really appreciate how you show that true connection with ourselves and our soul is a process of letting go – letting go of ideals, and the pictures we carry of how to behave etc. We do not have to strive to achieve this very solid and loving relationship, simply allow ourselves to unfold more of who we truly are.

252. None of the versions of ourselves is ever sufficient and we know we are living a version of ourselves and not our true self when we are less than joy and harmony.

     1. Yes, I knew I was living a lesser version of myself for a long time and I got so lost I forgot how to find my way back to me. When I met Serge Benhayon and people at Universal Medicine who were living in harmony, love and joy, my path of return and reconnecting to ME became very clear.

253. Dear B, I loved reading about you falling back in love with you.

254. Being made aware of how truly magnificent we all are and the extent to which we have buried this and turned to very abusive patterns of behaviour to numb ourselves from feeling our exquisite divinity has been one of the most shocking revelations for me, yet one I deeply treasure. To have had the wool well and truely pulled from over my eyes has been such a gift.

255. ‘I’ve recently reached a point in my life where I really felt like re-connecting with you.’ …. this tipping point is different for everyone and something we all have to come to, for ourselves. However, it really makes a difference when there are people around us reflecting how there is another way to live, in connection with our soul. A very joyful, loving way of being, a quality of movement that is light, expansive and embracing all that is true. I so appreciate having these reflections in my life and love having the opportunity to now be this for others.

     1. Yes, if it was not for the reflection of Serge Benhayon I wonder how long it would have taken for me to re-connect to my Soul?

256. This is a great way to be honest about what we’ve courted in our lives. I’ve had a few relationships that took me from the one I have always wanted but avoided like ‘Runaway Bride’ – the relationship with me.

     Just today I realise I’ve been accompanied by a certain energy everywhere because I asked it to – I didn’t want to be left alone with me. Why? Because I didn’t like the feel of this energy but I thought it was me! So trying to avoid the energy by engaging with the energy – crazy!

     Reading, ‘however long I delay, you’re always there, waiting for me to reconnect to you in my own time’ is music to my ears. It is so true, I am so loving, so patient, so understanding and knowing I will return myself to me.

257. I love this…. I noticed when reading this I was first so lost I didn’t even really see this as possible for me…. But a superhero called Serge came by, just walking his talk and by way of reflection inspired me to understanding this was also possible for my relationship with my Soul, magic…

     1. Yes, Toni, it is the relationship with our Soul that we long for and miss, and no matter how many other flings we have, we will never feel truly ourselves until we return to this oneness.

258. Our relationship with our true selves is the foundation of great transformation in our lives, and potentially all those around us.

259. “I’ve realised that none of my other relationships can give me anything that I’m not already…’ Isn’t this an interesting perspective on relationships – foundational and so very true.

260. The concept of right and wrong trips us up all the time – we would be far better to focus on what is true and what is not true.

261. “but actually what I loved is the recognition I got from the right, and the dramas of the wrong.”

     Oh yeah, I have dated this one for quite a few years and totally got caught up in the recognition and the drama. So incredibly awesome to see it and now when I think about dating them, or occasional I’m on one before I even know it, I can break up super fast.

262. It can be a bitter pill to swallow when you realise what you’ve been missing all this time, and that it’s never been out of reach… just a choice away.

263. Rightandwrong, Loyalty, Fence Sitter, Numbness…if we stopped and took the time to really get to know these guys I dont think any of us would have dated them. But there in lies the problem – so often we dont take the time to really get to know one another, because we dont give ourselves the time to get get to know who we truly are first. If we did we would have more longer lasting and truer relationships with each other in general.

264. This is a very humorous way of exposing our total detours away from that which we know! Madness huh!

265. ‘…and your blind date is….yourself!’ – Be an interesting twist on those TV dating shows wouldn’t it – much more evolving perhaps.

     1. Yes Richard you should market this…probably will not take off, given most are into looking for Mr or Mrs Right and not for looking within and dating themselves.

        1. Probably not marylouisemyers, that’s true. But we won’t build any truly loving relationships unless we learn to ‘date ourselves’ with love first.

266. While reading about your dates I had to admit to myself that dating with loyalty is still tempting, like you say ‘I made myself into the perfect friend, daughter, sister, worker… whatever role I could get my hands on, I was determined to show my Loyalty off to others.’ but all this has nothing to do with building the true relationship with myself, other than a sightseeing trip which leaves me less. So yes a high five for who we truly are!

267. A wise man once said to me ‘loyalty does not mean putting up with abuse’.

268. We are brought up to put everyone else first and then wonder why we burn out. Far better is to put ourselves first, to nurture and nourish our own bodies before we consider doing anything for someone else.

269. It’s interesting how we avoid making friends with ourselves and developing an intimate relationship that can support us. We look everywhere else but within ourselves, but this only serves to keep us searching. We already have everything we could ever need, we just need to look within.

270. Re-discovering the real us underneath all the false layers and pretence is a stunning thing!

271. This is such a relatable blog, with the many relationships that can be created and tried, the true one always there waiting to be reconnected to, built as a foundation, then taken out to others.’But no matter how many detours I take, however long I delay, you’re always there, waiting for me to reconnect to you in my own time’.

272. Isn´t it crazy, that because we weren´t seen as who we are when we were kids and shut down from our own connection to it, we live like puppets our whole life ( most of the people I would say) . Playing out versions of us, to get through life, instead of going back. There is this big mountain we fear to feel, because , YES, it is painful to feel this lived disconnection but I prefer to feel it and move on from it in connection instead being played by the desperation to find my true me in versions that are more than the opposite.

273. Thanks, B. It was very interesting to read about your previous relationships with RightandWrong, Loyalty and Fencesitter – it think they may have got around a bit as they are very familiar to me too!

274. For me loyality is a high value to have. It is not true loyality if you give yourself away and especially when you perform with it.

275. The awesomeness of allowing ourselves the space to explore our relationship with our true selves expressed so playfully – no more excuses or detours into relationships that diminish us.

276. “I started to feel that none of these versions was right for me” – All versions of us are bound to be false if we gauge their ‘rightness’ on how the world responds to us, if we ‘fit in’ and the temporal successes of work, relationships etc. Replace ‘right’ with ‘true’, let go of the need to fit in a box and our relationship to ourselves can become very different.

277. If only I knew back in the past that my relationships were from the way I related to my own physical body and to myself first and foremost.. then I would not have ended up anxiously chasing the ideal of a relationship/man, but instead chasing my own self, body and relationship with the love it was in need of.

278. The real me, gives us everything and without conditions. The opportunities endlessly offered by the real me, are given without an ounce of judgement, expectation or criticism and the real me never withdraws because there are never any pictures involved. Incredible.

279. I love the playful way you have described your experience and I can relate to almost everything you share here.

280. So true, our soul is so patient just remains totally loving no matter what ridiculous choices we make. It does not have an ounce of judgement when we eventually re-connect, it just offers us what ever we need to evolve, like we had never turned our back on it. We could definitely learn a thing or two from our soul.

281. “I went out with Fence-Sitter.” I know this one well, how often I would sit on the fence not claiming my position what I felt and what was true for me. It’s deeply appreciating for me to be approaching life in a completely different way willing to make mistakes but at least learn and develop.

282. This blog made me smile throughout and the humour and light heartedness is a testament to the fact that you are finding you and its one of those no looking back experiences. Turns out we’ve shared all of the same partners and more- mrs right and wrong, sit on the fence etc. Such convincing relationships aswell, seemingly perfect and absolutely fitting of the picture. Someone’s comment above hit the nail on the head in terms of how I was feeling about these versions that I still am dating – that yes it’s pretty ‘gross’ how we date and flaunt these fabrications to look better than another.

283. This has been a huge learning for me committing to being with me letting go of all the self-bashing, recriminations and the self-loathing. To be totally committed to me is huge and I can still feel the resistance of this other part of me that doesn’t want to fully go there because if I surrender fully back; there is no false part of me left. And if I look out to humanity surely it is this falseness of life that we have allowed ourselves to be trapped in to the detriment of who we truly are?

284. A few years ago I decided that it was time to give up dating the same so-called friends that you had as all the dates were a disaster. I did it because finally I realised that the only relationship I hadn’t pursued was the one with me and a very wise woman had shared with me that to take the time to do so was one of the most priceless choices I could ever make. And it didn’t take long to realise that she was spot on; this relationship with me is the foundation that is needed to build all other relationships on and it naturally follows that the more loving the one with me is the more loving all the other relationships are.

285. We spend our lives searching for the perfect one in all the forms you described. The phase that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince comes to mind. Have you ever experienced the search for something that is elusive that is always just out of reach? When we stop trying, we find it standing next to us, or in us!

286. This is such a relatable blog B. Trying to build a relationship with someone before we have built a relationship with ourselves is like putting the cart before the horse. We think we have to be in a relationship because we think we are less unless we have a partner, regardless if this is true for us or not. The truth is we are everything we need to be, and therefore being in a relationship is about expansion of who we already are, and not seeking from another what we think we don’t have within ourselves.

     1. Spot on alisonmoir. When we deal with the relationship with ourselves first, our external relationships become about what we can bring to each other rather than what we ‘apparently’ need from each other. It works for me and is a very beautiful experience.

        1. The difference in our relationships when it becomes about what we bring to each other changes our whole view on life, it no longer becomes about ‘me’ but about ‘us,’ and what we can then bring together. This feels so much more enjoyable lighter and expansive.

287. Beautiful. Developing a relationship with the true ‘Me’ exposes all the other imposters.

288. Coming back to the real ME is not just exposing the falseness of all the versions of the seeming Me that at the time were fervently embraced as being the one and only but also the intention and force working behind the scenes. This is an extra big OUCH moment as we realize how driven and controlled we are although thinking we are ourselves. Not before we know the real ME we will be aware in full of everything that is really going on while we are the false Me.

289. Playing out these different versions of our self only has us going around in circles, it may be a different flavour, but eventually, we see that none of them are our true selves and we can get so embroiled in this layer upon layer of untruths that we end up not knowing ourselves.

290. I feel everyone on this planet could write themselves the same kind of letter, we are all totally amazing being ourselves, it’s just such a waste of time having learn this time and time again.

291. Having a true and meaningful relationship with myself is the greatest relationship I can have.

292. Wow, what a blog! There is also *Good* to hang out with and *Righteous* and *Mission*. Then, of course, there is *Guru* and we can go down those vortexes for a very long time. Even when we hang out with the true one I find I can still have lengthy liaisons with *True Mission*(TM)!

293. “I know that mostly I’ve tried hard to ignore you, drowning you out with a million distractions.” Oooh, know this one very well. The only thing is that invariably it never worked the messages just got louder and would usually culminate in me having to lay down in extreme agony! What a disservice we do our selves with all our false pictures and ideals when there is such pure gold lying just under the surface, a tender, wise and delicate expression waiting patiently to be expressed.

294. Thank you B, this is cute, playful and very funny because it is very much the truth! I find when something is playfully presented I am able to be more open to the depth of truth in the message. I hadn’t considered the drama of wrong that goes with Mr RightandWrong, thanks for pointing that one out. Enjoy dating the true you 🙂

295. When finally we tire of living the many varied versions of ourselves that we have tried to fit into the mould of our human created world, our true and authentic self reveals itself as being part of a far greater wisdom and order, universal in nature but with a simplicity we know to the bones of us and beyond.

296. The only true relationship we can have does come through our body as once connected with we are in relationship with the whole, all people, nature, the stars and the planets, with the universe and with God.

297. Whilst reading this beautifully written blog I could relate to the “fence sitter” relationship, but with a twist. For me, I “dated” the ‘chameleon’ who liked to at times sun bathe on a fence and who knew exactly how to change his personality and demeanor to suit other people in order to be accepted or liked as a teenager and into adulthood, even if it meant taking sides and agreeing with people when inside I felt they were not being truthful or caring. But thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have let go of that false way of calibrating myself to others and feel like I can be myself more without worrying how it is accepted, as speaking my truth and being the real me is needed by the world as with everyone else.

298. This is an awesome letter and it has made me understand a lot more about the reactions in this world when we hold onto the fake relationships in our life. Even the process of thinking we have a relationship when we do not is precious as when we are ready to understand deeper and not give up the truth that we know.

299. I too have dated RightandWrong and can still date it sometimes but not for very long before I have clocked what he is up to. Dating RightandWrong exposes arrogance big time, makes life all about me and thinking I know it all putting others down, dismissing and belittling them, a far cry from the truth and love I know is within and held in my body.

300. This is such a playful blog with all the ‘relationships’ that are explored before finally making a date with your own body. A High five to be shared with you ‘B’, in celebration of your return to simply be at home with yourself.

301. There’s a lot of attention these days on the various wars we are fighting in different countries and states. But what you share B reminds me that the greatest atrocity is the way we fight ourselves. How crazy and plain absurd that we persist in resisting how beautiful we are. It’s not like we are fighting our faults and bad habits – but we run away from our gorgeous light. Talk about the definition of absurd.

302. ‘I’ve always known you were there, waiting for me to connect to you, but I liked to take my time, flirting with many versions of you that weren’t really it. Each time they disappointed me.’ ….. our desire to ‘fit in’ with society pushes us yet further away, destabilising our trust in ourselves even further as nothing turns out to be ‘as promised’. We are like a school of fish, blindly following each other, however, when one has the insight to change course, it can change the path for the rest to follow. This is what is happening right now, as more and more people are feeling the pull back to love, choosing once again to listen to the truth and wisdom being shared by their body.

303. A relationship with self (and others) only goes as deep as we are willing to take it. An amazing sharing B, and also a great reminder to never stop deepening relationships.

304. Perfect, just what I needed to read today, this shifted something in me as I was giving myself a hard time and this just allowed me to let go of that and let myself be.

     1. Yes, this is some blog!

305. It certainly is all about our relationship with ourselves.

306. I totally relate to your sharing B. You have lifted the veil on the many ways we lose ourselves in this life. With the wonderful teachings of the Ageless Wisdom as presented by Serge Benhayon showing the truth of who we are we can start to find ourselves again.

     1. Indeed Rosalyn, thanks to Serge Benhayon we can remember our true nature and purpose in life and we’re given back the Ageless Wisdom and The Way of The Livingness as the guides in our lives back to our Soul.

307. ‘You were asking me to commit to being with you, and to be who I was, and I wasn’t ready to give up the life I’d created.’ Right now, everything is set up in life to pull us away from our divinity, luring us into a false way of being. The more we allow ourselves to see the ‘set up’ for what it is and surrender instead to the loving arms of ourselves, we are countering this destructive ‘pull’ away from truth, by sharing the glory of all that we are for everyone else to feel and connect with themselves.

     1. Yes, Alison, once we see the ‘set up’ for what it is, we can return to our naturally joyful and loving ways.

308. This is awesome and witty – it shows how far we go from the real us and all the different roles we take on. I can relate completely, sometimes I felt like a chameleon who changed for others. But this level of complexity is far more sneaky, to go into wrong and right, loyalty, fence sitting and numbness – it is all behaviours I’ve dabbled in but what I didn’t want to see was that this was me avoiding myself.

     1. Yes, HM, avoiding myself is the core of all the problems.

309. Numbness was my fave, for a long long time and to be honest, I still go there at times as I am not perfect nor good or bad!

     1. My favourite was numbness too, which I revisit occasionally, right and wrong was probably my next favourite of which I am still letting go of.

        1. It sometimes takes a little longer to let go of certain behaviours doesn’t it, if we have used them for years and in a way, have an attachment to how they play out in our lives. It is great though, when we do finally become really aware and realise that we don’t need to play that game anymore.

310. “I’ve realised that none of my other relationships can give me anything that I’m not already, and that none of them will have any foundation unless I’m prepared to build a true relationship with you first: the real Me.” and here is the answer to all our problems, deepen and build our own connection with ourself, then everything and anything is possible.

311. What a classic article that had me smiling as we went through the version of things we take on, “rightandwrong”, “thefencesitter”, “loyality” and the list goes on. We try everything and then a combination of them all and when it all comes down to it we come back to the first relationship and that is the one you have with yourself. What if everything around you comes back to this, what if it is all born from this relationship? We would all do well by continuing this relationship and appreciating all we feel and see.

312. Love the honesty, the reality of the truth you bring here, and the acceptance of who you are – that its ok to be you, in fact its awesome to be who you truly are.

313. Such an awesome blog B thank you so much for sharing, I can so relate to all you have expressed, some I have relinquished, some bring up tears for past hurts, but I now appreciate the opportunity I have to get to know my true and deeply loving inner self.

314. The games we play – and we think we are unique but reading these comments… we all do the same thing – date the same crew, not admitting that we are all going around and around in the same circles – crazy!

315. This is such an awesome read B… no amount of trying different avenues ever works – we can delay as long as we like but we will always return to who we truly are.

316. I can really relate to how I still date numbness and feel the devastation when I realise the choices I have made and that the relationship is over only to find another date who looks different but the outcome is just the same.

317. The humbleness that comes with a simple dose of self acceptance is a joy to feel and also a joy for others to be around.

     1. Beautifully said Harry for every dose self acceptance we bless ourselves which builds the foundations of our self worth.

318. I too know those ‘personalities’ all too well, especially the ‘fence sitter’. The personalities we use and rely on to avoid connecting to and living from our very natural selves.

     1. Very true – because they are the roles we adopt to not upset the comfortable nest we as a humanity have burrowed ourselves into in order to resist the evolution that is continually on offer to us all. The moment we renounce these adopted personas is the moment the greater plan is revealed in the sense that we are able to come to a deeper understanding of the part we play in the grand scheme of things.

319. A “B” and C you nailed it, being honest and starting with the Gentle Breath Meditation is a rock sold foundation that serves everyone equally. And it is Tender Truth about how our relationships develop as you have shared “none of them will have any foundation unless I’m prepared to build a true relationship with you first: the real Me.” So is it possible that being “A”Self-loving, “B”Self-nurturing, “C”Self-caring and being honest, we can start to then living in a way that appreciates these qualities without condemnation and this could be the path of return to Love, “the-Real-Me”!

320. High five indeed B. I think I dated those guys brothers, or cousins or quite possibly them! So I know what you are talking about well. I have broken up the major relationships with them, but they still sneak in for short afternoon dates sometimes. Thanks for putting pen to paper on this one as I love this analogy and will be very playful in breaking up with them, again and again until they finally leave my life for ever.

321. Love this blog B. So honest, down to earth and playful. I recognise all these partners and have certainly played along with them all too. But the more I reconnect to Me, Im realising how much I am loving getting to know Me again, and how much fun I am to have around!

322. Love these analogies of the games we play to avoid getting to know the real us.

323. This is beautiful to read, and very timely, as I feel I am playing around with a lot of the versions of ourselves you have played around with and are very known to me. It is in taking responsibility and making the choices to come back that is very inspiring.

324. “I’ve realised that none of my other relationships can give me anything that I’m not already…”

     …And I have realized that discovering all that I already am (have) starts by allowing myself to really feel whatever I am feeling; from there all the stuff that is ‘not-me’ starts to fall away and my true relationship deepens from me out to everyone.

325. Definitely a high 5 moment and for me it just confirms that the most important relationship we have is with ourselves. Of course this doesn’t mean to not have relationships with anyone else! But yes to definitely check in where we are at with ourselves and this isn’t to do with beating ourselves up or judging ourselves but … loving ourselves more and the more we love ourselves … the more we can love others ❤️

326. Brilliant blog. If you attributed your description of your relationship with ‘Me’ to any partner, then you and all your friends would believe that you had found the perfect relationship. It’s actually pretty gross when you really consider it – that our arrogance, denial and irresponsibility allow us to indulge in the illusionary search for the perfect partner, which naturally is a fruitless task and thus allows us to reside in the drama and irresponsibility of that which we haven’t found – oh poor me! And yet all along, as we all absolutely know, the perfect partner is waiting for us patiently and holds no judgement or expectation for whenever we do or don’t turn to it – so there truly is zero excuse; except for all of those that we make up, so that we don’t have to take the responsibility of nurturing this most potent of relationships that would in fact evolve not just us but all of humanity.

327. when we are in relationship with our self we can see and feel what a true relationship with others will be.

328. The Gentle Breath Meditation is a Gift from God, and a treasure I can call on whenever and wherever. The Gentle Breath Meditation brought me back home instantly after many many years lost not understanding how to ‘save’ my self. And … just today after 12 years ago I really felt to come back to my breath and to honour a new depth to how gentle this breath needs to be now. It was to confirm a deeper quality I now feel in my body.

329. ‘nothing true to say, just a polite and socially acceptable version of myself’ How true, living a lie, telling the world what we think the world wants to hear, instead of expressing the Truth humanity needs.

330. “And in that space you appeared, tentatively at first, and then more and more often. You started to show me who I am: nothing of what I thought I was supposed to be, and everything about who I actually am but have fought against for so long.”
     What i can feel in your words B is that there is an acknowledgment that each deviation is a cycle that will simply bring you back to where you started, to the simple steady home within that invites you to explore & appreciate who you truly are.

331. Great blog B! It is a relief in many ways to feel that the truth of who we truly are is all what we could ever have wanted, asked for and imagined. Our essence does not play small though, so we have to invent versions of us that are.

332. Hilarious, but so true in that relationships are always about quality first and foremost.

333. Really gorgeous B. Thank you.

334. A very awesome letter. The part about the invented fear really stuck with me, as I too have had this belief that I cannot give a voice to the real me, or that I HAVE to reject or shun the real me, or the real me is not acceptable in life. It’s all a lie but until I met Universal Medicine the whole world was telling me to tell myself that these lies were/are truth.

335. Perfect to read this blog today, I can relate to so much of it, loyalty, fence sitter and mrs. numb, or other versions of the same, for really none of them have been me, and seeing that now, and being willing to actually develop a relationship with me, I’m finding out lots of things and understanding that this is true and without this true basis, nothing I do in relation to the world can be solid. Another aspect of me I’m learning in all this, is my relationship to God and how that hugely supports me in allowing space for me, for in that I relate to God and everyone.

336. Great realisation B. It all starts with our relationship with ourselves. Once we have a healthy ‘portion’ of self-love then our relationships with others start to reflect the fact.

337. Super beautiful and such fun to read, this in itself shows the intimate and honest and open relationship you have with yourself! High five to you, you are super awesome B.

338. The real and true me loves unconditionally – and not just me but everyone. It’s incredible to even just begin to feel the depth of love, understanding and compassion we hold for ourselves. We really do Rock!

339. ‘..actually what I loved is the recognition I got from the right and the dramas of the wrong.’ To be free of the consciousness of right and wrong is totally liberating as life then becomes about choices – not good ones or bad ones – just choices that are either loving or not loving. The unloving choices just become an ‘oops’ from which I can learn and heal from.

340. Our relationship with our true self, our soul, is the eternal relationship.

341. High five you!! you ARE awesome. Love your blog B.

342. Such a fun read, playfully exposing what is going on so much of the time. High 5 B. Great to see your commitment shifting to the one who has been waiting for you all these years.

343. No relationship can give us something that we’re not already, and that’s such an important thing to remember when we’re acting in friendships, partnerships, family configurations etc. If we approach relationships looking for a feedback from them then games can easily play out, where things become outcome based rather than based on support and true, unwavering love.

344. I recognise all the ex-partners you have mentioned B and in fact it seems I have also gone out with them for long periods of time and what’s more they periodically visit me and tempt me to go out with them again. I just love the playful way you have describe the clever strategies and justifications we use to avoid being true to ourselves.

345. this was lovely to read B. I can relate to dating many false versions of myself, but nothing beats coming back to the real me.

346. Most of us initiate relationships without first being solid in knowing who we are and steady in our relationship with ourselves first. But what is possible if we initiate a relationship already knowing we are equipped with everything we need, rather than going our searching for everything we need?

347. Oh the games we play just to avoid the responsibility of being all the live we are and the ripples of that on those around us and the world. But like you show we are blessed by a love that does not judge and is there for us in full whenever we choose.

348. This is so relatable – we spend so much time running away from our relationship with ourselves but when we finally choose to re-connect to the love patiently waiting inside us we come home to the vastness of love that is continually on offer.

349. It is just such a shame that we have to go all around the houses to get back to something that we never should have considered leaving in the first place. But that is what life is set up to make us do unless we can either see through it ourselves or someone comes along and shows us the true way.

350. The journey we do to get to know the one true friend and expose the many false friends we have chosen as companions – false friends leading us on false paths, but we deliberately have chosen them to not arrive where we belong, to delay the inevitable return.

     1. Spot on Alex – the false relationships we create with ourselves simply delay us meeting the real ME and the steadiness that is on offer.

351. Awesome blog B, so much here written will be recognised by so many. These versions of ourselves that we create and can go a lifetime believing that we know who we are, only to find out that if we look close enough, we will discover that it is so far from the truth of the matter. And that what we are in truth is far grander than we could create ourselves to be from the ideals and beliefs that we gather along the way.

352. “No matter how many detours I take, however long I delay, you’re always there, waiting for me to reconnect to you in my own time” – a beautiful reminder, and my personal note to self: not to take this as an excuse for further delay.

353. Why do we live like a museum that is full of paintings, this is our head! We need to remove the art and replace them with mirrors so that every angle is exposed!

     1. As always Steve, what you are sharing is deeply and fully appreciated. And may I add to your great expression with the fact we have ideals and beliefs, that have filled our museum full of our many ills. Then when we start to be honest with who we are, our life is exposed becoming like a house of cards or “museum” built with cards – one simple gentle out breath and it comes down around our knees to reflect all our ill choices!

354. Thank you B, you are pretty awesome, insightful, playful, delicate and willing to explore to the depths of your soul what it means to be human and to have a relationship with yourself – making this piece a precious gift for everyone to read.

355. I love your angle B. One of my biggest dates was called ‘being good’. I realise this has been a long love affair and one that has been a challenge to say goodbye to; but a new relationship is emerging and this one is called ‘being true’. It’s definitely more honest than the previous.

356. I love this, B, as it exposes the craziness of separating from ourselves in a way that we cannot deny.

357. Sometimes I think we can get to know our essence more by beginning with recognising what we know we are not like you share here, and in developing that deeper honesty and relationship with ourselves we can open up more to simply being true to who we are rather than trying to fit into a picture of how we think we ought to be.

358. The true inspiration we all hold is there within our bodies and it is when we stop to appreciate this wisdom we begin to feel how steady, clear and observant we are and when coupled with the ease and joy of our movement we become a powerhouse that reflects such care, beauty and universal intelligence that simply oozes truth. A relationship the connects the body with the wisdom of the heart, now that’s a power couple that defies all.

359. “I’ve worn myself out with fighting you, and with that I’m more open to seeing you for who you really are, and not who I thought you were.” I definitely recognise this one B. When we stop and really look at our lives we can see that nearly every issue we have is because we are fighting our essence, the person we really are underneath all the layers of trying to be someone we are not. It is amazing how much effort we put into becoming someone we are not, rather than staying with the simplicity and ease of the person we naturally are.

360. When we are fully with me there is no greater place to be than with me.

361. So true B, nothing compares to the real Me. We strive to assume so many versions of who we are, but they are all built on same sandy foundations and then one day we are encouraged to connect to the real Me via a simple Gentle Breath Meditation. Once we connect to Me the opportunity for true love and romance appears, that trustworthy relationship we have sought for so long in the external world was right there inside us all along.

362. Love your blog B, I love your journey through your relationships to recognise that none of them mean anything if you don’t have a true relationship with yourself first. I can recognise this, all we do is become what the other person wants or mirror them, either way we chose relationships not based on true love but on our wants and needs, which nearly always fail in the end.

363. The hardest most difficult relationship I have ever had is me with me. I wrote myself off a few life times ago and meeting Serge Benhayon was the catalyst that brought me back to me, without his support and the support of the Benhayon family I would still be lost in the merry go round of fighting myself and blaming the world for the mess it is in. Now I can see I am part of the mess and I need to sort myself out rather than moan about life and it’s short falls and play the victim of it.

     1. Isn’t it crazy that the hardest, most complicated relationship we can sometimes have (or create) is the one with ourselves? When we let go of needing relationships to be a certain way for us, or needing others to act and respond in the way we want them to, we allow space for them and us, and room for the relationship to grow and deepen – because we’re willing to go there and look at ourselves, first.

364. Thank you B for writing this, I can relate to every word you have written. To be honest I have been avoiding a relationship with myself for a few life times. And I have only just allowed myself to feel that I am the greatest relationship I could ever have and to share this deep connection with everyone else.

365. Oh lovely you, don’t ever let yourself go. You inspire us all.

366. Loving the analogies…and such is the beauty of the best relationship there is – with oneself where other relationship qualities we entertain begin to be known for what they really and truly are.

367. It is funny how we all think we are original in the way we choose to think ourselves to be but to be honest I recognised each character you dated with to be mine as well.

     1. Yes, very true, it shows how much we live in a bubble, creating our own reality, all the while we are many billions here on earth going through the same things.

368. While we know and have created many ways to detour on our way back to Soul, we eventually have to take stock and acknowledge that all the sideways do not work, actually are a distraction of our way back and that we in that detour are wearing out our bodies with fighting God.

369. High five to you too B. We can take circuitous routes to find ourselves, but when we do it is a homecoming and filled with joy and celebration.

370. I appreciate this letter deeply because I could feel how a relationship with myself is the deepest and most spacious love and when this is felt from my body it is the same that is offered too to the world. There is a deep settlement in our connection with ourselves and through this settlement a deeper inspiration is felt (it is always available).

371. Amazing, I love it. Without building relationship on the inside first, all outer ones are but shallow and insipid stand ins.

372. B such a light playful way of presenting wisdom and truth.

373. Hey now I can see that RightandWrong, Loyalty, Fence-Sitter and Numbness are all two timing so and so’s as I also dated all those guys. They do not get a look in now that I know what the real deal is. Love this very humorous blog B.

374. B, seems we’ve dated a lot of the same dudes, with much the same outcome. I am now seriously questioning what I ever saw in them, as you so beautifully share, none of them offered anything that I don’t already have. Even worse, hanging out with them I can now feel how I became a lesser version of myself, when ‘ME’ was there all along, ready to hold me in absolute love, supporting me to be the amazing woman that I am … crazy how we can choose to be so blind.

375. What an exposing blog, thank you B, for sharing all the ways we keep our true selves at arms length. We are world travellers, let’s say, when it comes to visiting the many distractions that are offered all around us, yet when we stop traveling and realise in truth we haven’t gone anywhere, we see that there is even more supporting us to re-connect and just be.

376. Thank you, dear B, for your absolutely divine blog. This is so relatable, accessible, insightful and beautifully playful. Such a gift for anyone and everyone to read and what an amazing addition it would make to the reading material offered throughout our schools 🙂

     1. Great idea Alison

377. Awesome blog B and I love the playfulness in the way you’ve presented this. I can very much relate, I have been on many of these dates with myself too and they never seem to lead to anything but emptiness and frustration. Letting go of the fight with myself is so much more fun and loving.

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