Life beyond Anger

By F.L, Canberra, Australia, Registered health care professional

I have been attending workshops and having sessions with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for the last four years, and I can speak from my own experience as to how they supported me, and what they are truly about. I had a very unhappy childhood, followed by a chaotic, abusive teenage time and then a disgruntled adulthood. This culminated in a very cynical perspective on most people I had met. I was totally alienated from my entire family, decided I had “had it” with them all, and had lots of issues trying to cope with my own children. I considered the option of escaping by ending it all, but never quite got around to it, and somehow knew deep within it wasn’t the answer. Besides, the way I was going, there were bound to be aspects of the afterlife that irked me as well! The prospect of being free of my woes was impossible to imagine. I often reacted badly to everyone and everything that didn’t go my way. In short, I was a mess.

I had sought help via Buddhism and found that although I loved everything the Dalai Lama had to say and it all resonated deeply, and I could pass any written exam on Buddhist principles, I could never find a path to actually living any of the principles he presented for more than five minutes – I concluded I would eventually get there in another 1000 lives.

I attended a Universal Medicine retreat in 2008 that was life changing. I learned that I had choices and responsibilities. This was huge for me as I was used to simply blaming everything on my ‘circumstances’, or if my mother had loved me, or if this person was nicer or if that was different, etc, etc. This shift in perspective allowed me to actually see how I had contributed to the life I complained so much about – a big pill to swallow, but a very empowering one when grasped.

I slowly began to relearn how to live; it was the first time it had ever been put to me that there was a way of living that could help me with my perceived problems, and I was willing to give it a try. It wasn’t an easy path for me at first… it took time. I worked steadily with Serge Benhayon or Natalie Benhayon, later Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon and Caroline Raphael. I wasn’t always as willing to let go of the ‘victim’ mentality and the comforts it brought; it had been a longstanding pattern and wasn’t going to shift straightaway. Sometimes I argued at them and felt quite disappointed that they did not indulge me or give me any sympathy. What I couldn’t walk away from though, was the feeling of being truly understood and held in love. That was so crucial for my recovery as I really had not felt that before. It allowed me space to turn around the trajectory of my life. They simply reminded me that I had choices, that being a victim or reactive was a choice too. Slowly I came to see this was so – and understand just how powerful this awareness is…

At all times during this relearning phase I felt totally accepted and loved for who I was. The Universal Medicine practitioners never gave up on me, never judged me, never shunned me, never told me what to do, just simply showed me consistently that there was another way to be in life, and helped me discover that I could also choose it for me – that it really was possible.

Some four years later, against all odds, my family and I have reconciled: they noticed the change in me, and instead of being repelled by me they now seek me out. I am getting comments from them like; “…whatever it is that you are doing, keep doing it”, “You look comfortable in your own skin”, and finally, “…when are you coming to visit?”.

One has even asked, “Who is this Serge? I want to meet him as I can see how happy you are now” ­ (totally unsolicited comment). I barely mention Serge… I don’t have to, they can be inspired by how I am with their own unexpected perceptions of my stability, contentedness and calmness. Serge is not the point anyway; it’s all about ME and what I can now offer to myself and then others.

Many other areas of my life have likewise improved; my bosses now seek me out from time to time for my calm and fair approach to work situations. Incidentally I now love being at work, it’s wonderful connecting with people there, and my job has much greater meaning. My kids are pleased that I am more willing to just connect, not just shout at them, and they love meeting the Benhayons (and many others associated with Universal Medicine) when the chance presents.

Interestingly enough, the Benhayons or Universal Medicine practitioners don’t regard me more favourably due to my being much less reactive and more loving these days. They are unattached to my choices and the outcomes that follow. If they never saw me again it wouldn’t trouble them. They simply inspired me to wisely choose how I respond to life and leave me to continue this way forward in my own time, preferably sooner than later, for my own sake! This has been wonderful, there is no one to impress, there are no favourites, no goals to meet, just a chance to truly grow.

I am so glad I didn’t give up or keep branding myself a ‘hopeless’ case. I took the opportunity to consider another way of living. I am not perfect, but I now have fulfilment and true peace within me regularly. The flow-on effect in terms of my outlook on life, and therefore my personal relationships, has been incredibly rewarding.

I look forward to the rest of my life now… in many ways this story of recovery is only the beginning. 

606 thoughts on “Life beyond Anger

  1. What a beautiful story of recovery. I love how you recognise that the practitioners who train in the Universal Medicine modalities do not favour you more because you have turned your life around. The Ageless Wisdom shows us that we are all equal and just because someone is making more self loving choices does not make them “better” than another, it simply means that they are taking more responsibility for their choices and all of us have that opportunity if we want it.

  2. Beneath every reaction is a reading that has already taken place, and if you find yourself consumed in reaction, then you miss out on the reading that would otherwise reveal to you the truth of what you had observed.

  3. The way we brand ourselves can be truly damaging, branding ourselves as “hopeless” can cap the potential of our whole lives, and what if that potential is limitless? It’s great to explore where we may be holding onto completely false truths about ourselves and discard them for good.

  4. FL this blog reminds me of the ‘bad old’ days I once lived, I was secretly labelled as carrying ‘a chip on my shoulder’!….

    Roll on to now and I can honestly say since Universal Medicine’s workshops, my life has had a turnaround. I am no longer carrying this ‘chip on my shoulder’, if anything its just a green lettuce leaf – LOL.

    I have taken more ownership of the part I play in the calamity instead of making it all about them. I agree that it is a work in progress and in absoluteness – the true me is emerging more and more – I cannot thank Universal Medicine or the Benhayons enough for that universal love they’ve shared with all and there’s plenty more of it to go round.

  5. This is a beautiful sharing and very inspiring to read, that no matter what we have been through in life we all have an opportunity to truly heal and move forward free from old patterns and hurts.

  6. On the surface, I was always enthusiastic about life – I was always busy, always diving into new opportunities, new ideas, projects, etc. etc. However, all of it was to get that recognition, have something on my CV to show my hard work, since my introduction to UM I have come to realise that and also just how much lack of motivation for life I really have. However, what I have also come to now is that I know I have a greater purpose than ticking boxes, I know there’s more to life, and now I too look forward to the rest of my life, but truly look forward to it – not just because I have dreams and ideas about what it’s going to be like, but because I know that with every day I am getting closer to the real, raw me 🙂

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