Life beyond Anger

By F.L, Canberra, Australia, Registered health care professional

I have been attending workshops and having sessions with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for the last four years, and I can speak from my own experience as to how they supported me, and what they are truly about. I had a very unhappy childhood, followed by a chaotic, abusive teenage time and then a disgruntled adulthood. This culminated in a very cynical perspective on most people I had met. I was totally alienated from my entire family, decided I had “had it” with them all, and had lots of issues trying to cope with my own children. I considered the option of escaping by ending it all, but never quite got around to it, and somehow knew deep within it wasn’t the answer. Besides, the way I was going, there were bound to be aspects of the afterlife that irked me as well! The prospect of being free of my woes was impossible to imagine. I often reacted badly to everyone and everything that didn’t go my way. In short, I was a mess.

I had sought help via Buddhism and found that although I loved everything the Dalai Lama had to say and it all resonated deeply, and I could pass any written exam on Buddhist principles, I could never find a path to actually living any of the principles he presented for more than five minutes – I concluded I would eventually get there in another 1000 lives.

I attended a Universal Medicine retreat in 2008 that was life changing. I learned that I had choices and responsibilities. This was huge for me as I was used to simply blaming everything on my ‘circumstances’, or if my mother had loved me, or if this person was nicer or if that was different, etc, etc. This shift in perspective allowed me to actually see how I had contributed to the life I complained so much about – a big pill to swallow, but a very empowering one when grasped.

I slowly began to relearn how to live; it was the first time it had ever been put to me that there was a way of living that could help me with my perceived problems, and I was willing to give it a try. It wasn’t an easy path for me at first… it took time. I worked steadily with Serge Benhayon or Natalie Benhayon, later Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon and Caroline Raphael. I wasn’t always as willing to let go of the ‘victim’ mentality and the comforts it brought; it had been a longstanding pattern and wasn’t going to shift straightaway. Sometimes I argued at them and felt quite disappointed that they did not indulge me or give me any sympathy. What I couldn’t walk away from though, was the feeling of being truly understood and held in love. That was so crucial for my recovery as I really had not felt that before. It allowed me space to turn around the trajectory of my life. They simply reminded me that I had choices, that being a victim or reactive was a choice too. Slowly I came to see this was so – and understand just how powerful this awareness is…

At all times during this relearning phase I felt totally accepted and loved for who I was. The Universal Medicine practitioners never gave up on me, never judged me, never shunned me, never told me what to do, just simply showed me consistently that there was another way to be in life, and helped me discover that I could also choose it for me – that it really was possible.

Some four years later, against all odds, my family and I have reconciled: they noticed the change in me, and instead of being repelled by me they now seek me out. I am getting comments from them like; “…whatever it is that you are doing, keep doing it”, “You look comfortable in your own skin”, and finally, “…when are you coming to visit?”.

One has even asked, “Who is this Serge? I want to meet him as I can see how happy you are now” ­ (totally unsolicited comment). I barely mention Serge… I don’t have to, they can be inspired by how I am with their own unexpected perceptions of my stability, contentedness and calmness. Serge is not the point anyway; it’s all about ME and what I can now offer to myself and then others.

Many other areas of my life have likewise improved; my bosses now seek me out from time to time for my calm and fair approach to work situations. Incidentally I now love being at work, it’s wonderful connecting with people there, and my job has much greater meaning. My kids are pleased that I am more willing to just connect, not just shout at them, and they love meeting the Benhayons (and many others associated with Universal Medicine) when the chance presents.

Interestingly enough, the Benhayons or Universal Medicine practitioners don’t regard me more favourably due to my being much less reactive and more loving these days. They are unattached to my choices and the outcomes that follow. If they never saw me again it wouldn’t trouble them. They simply inspired me to wisely choose how I respond to life and leave me to continue this way forward in my own time, preferably sooner than later, for my own sake! This has been wonderful, there is no one to impress, there are no favourites, no goals to meet, just a chance to truly grow.

I am so glad I didn’t give up or keep branding myself a ‘hopeless’ case. I took the opportunity to consider another way of living. I am not perfect, but I now have fulfilment and true peace within me regularly. The flow-on effect in terms of my outlook on life, and therefore my personal relationships, has been incredibly rewarding.

I look forward to the rest of my life now… in many ways this story of recovery is only the beginning. 

638 thoughts on “Life beyond Anger

  1. What a beautiful story of recovery. I love how you recognise that the practitioners who train in the Universal Medicine modalities do not favour you more because you have turned your life around. The Ageless Wisdom shows us that we are all equal and just because someone is making more self loving choices does not make them “better” than another, it simply means that they are taking more responsibility for their choices and all of us have that opportunity if we want it.

  2. Beneath every reaction is a reading that has already taken place, and if you find yourself consumed in reaction, then you miss out on the reading that would otherwise reveal to you the truth of what you had observed.

  3. The way we brand ourselves can be truly damaging, branding ourselves as “hopeless” can cap the potential of our whole lives, and what if that potential is limitless? It’s great to explore where we may be holding onto completely false truths about ourselves and discard them for good.

  4. FL this blog reminds me of the ‘bad old’ days I once lived, I was secretly labelled as carrying ‘a chip on my shoulder’!….

    Roll on to now and I can honestly say since Universal Medicine’s workshops, my life has had a turnaround. I am no longer carrying this ‘chip on my shoulder’, if anything its just a green lettuce leaf – LOL.

    I have taken more ownership of the part I play in the calamity instead of making it all about them. I agree that it is a work in progress and in absoluteness – the true me is emerging more and more – I cannot thank Universal Medicine or the Benhayons enough for that universal love they’ve shared with all and there’s plenty more of it to go round.

  5. This is a beautiful sharing and very inspiring to read, that no matter what we have been through in life we all have an opportunity to truly heal and move forward free from old patterns and hurts.

  6. On the surface, I was always enthusiastic about life – I was always busy, always diving into new opportunities, new ideas, projects, etc. etc. However, all of it was to get that recognition, have something on my CV to show my hard work, since my introduction to UM I have come to realise that and also just how much lack of motivation for life I really have. However, what I have also come to now is that I know I have a greater purpose than ticking boxes, I know there’s more to life, and now I too look forward to the rest of my life, but truly look forward to it – not just because I have dreams and ideas about what it’s going to be like, but because I know that with every day I am getting closer to the real, raw me 🙂

  7. ‘…if only my mother had loved me…’ and if only her mother had loved her…and if only her father had loved her mother. Blame is endless it seems and so when a person realises this and takes responsibility for being the change, and embracing the love they are for both themselves and others, then we are onto something that can truly make a difference in lives.

    1. So true Richard for blame is a vicious circle that keeps going round and round with no end until we break the cycle by taking responsibility for all that has and does unfold in our lives.

  8. Its very empowering to take back responsibility for our own lives and when we are prepared to do this there are no victims, and no one to blame either…and that includes ourselves.

  9. The victimhood and blaming can feel comfortable, but it is very VERY uncomfortable when compared to the love I have been held in and experience from Universal Medicine and Esoteric practitioners. The support I have been given to take responsibility for my hurts, my life, my situations, my reactions etc. has been monumental and now I live with so much joy that wasn’t even on my radar 10 years ago. And the affect this has, that the way I live, has on the wider world around me is magic.

  10. Disempowering ourselves breeds anger so when we empower ourselves and claim ourselves the anger is no longer there.

    1. Yes, a friend and I were just discussing this the other day. When we hold back our natural expression it can breed discontent, frustration and anger. It is possible to express in a way that still holds another in love so it is empowering for everyone.

  11. There is much you have shared here that is truly inspiring, thanks for your honesty and the reflection of the difference a choice can make.

  12. “What I couldn’t walk away from though, was the feeling of being truly understood and held in love.” This is so powerful and just shows how much love offered in truth can shift emotional behaviours that we are deeply entrenched in.

  13. FL, this is a gorgeous testimonial of how far you have come already in embracing life, and knowing too that this is only just the beginning. We are indeed blessed to have the support of the Benhayons, the Universal Medicine therapies and The Teachings of the Ageless Wisdom to guide us along the path of life, for in the end there is only one path, it can simply take a long time for us to get there (to that one path), as I have discovered!

  14. So true – there is an incredible, consistent loving flow of inspiration and reflection from all Universal Medicine Presentations and the Benhayon’s. I know for sure that it is the most divine gift that is being offered,
    and it is up to me to wisely choose what I do and how I respond with what is shared.

  15. It would be lovely to have a follow up about the rest of the story in the past 5 years FL how things have changed or deepened now because the end of this blog does feel like a new beginning that can blossom and flourish. How great it is that despite giving up on others, you never gave up on yourself, or else everyone would have missed out.

  16. ” I slowly began to relearn how to live; it was the first time it had ever been put to me that there was a way of living that could help me with my perceived problems, ” The key to understand is that most people are not living they are existing . The ” way of living ” is living who we are by our whole-self choices now by what the world has imposed on us. Thank you for sharing.

  17. I can relate to this story of feeling a huge frustration and anger at life and not knowing where to turn a few years ago. Then I would put my head in the sand, do some retail therapy and not think about it, but nothing changed..until meeting Serge Benhayon and attending the Universal Medicine courses. Slowly through a lot of resistance, I have learnt it is possible to build a way of life sorting out the hurts and living in a rhythm of my day that I now have no need for all those emotional reactions.

  18. From deeply hurt and closed down to open and trusting of people again. When we choose self-responsibility we are in the front seat again, no longer playing the victim…

  19. A truly amazing turnaround in your life and a testimony that we have the power to change anything and everything if we so choose and have the true support to help us.

  20. Learning that we have choices and responsibilities is very empowering, and realising that we do not need to live life from emotional needs and reactions the more we connect with ourselves builds a steadiness and true quality from within our body.

  21. We need to work harder at maintaining a so called ” victim mentality” than to just simply take responsibility of our life and choose that which is of truth that allows us to surrender to the gentle flow of life. For in truth life presents us with endless opportunities to evolve and if we say yes to this pull, the more we free ourselves from the shackles of life.

  22. ‘I could pass any written exam on Buddhist principles, I could never find a path to actually living any of the principles he presented for more than five minutes’. The principles of religion need to be practical and totally applicable in today’s world, if not we just don’t do them

  23. Great sharing F.L., indeed it is totally empowering to know that we have always a choice of what we experience in life- we either go for what is familiar and totally emotional or at the same time we can choose total divinity and love in our lives, for in truth we are vehicles of expression and the only choice we have is that which we align and become obedient to.

  24. ‘in many ways this story of recovery is only the beginning’ And what a great beginning you have made F.L. Thank you for sharing and showing how possible it is to ‘relearn how to live’ 

  25. No one is a ‘hopeless’ case although a lot of people are fed to believe they are. What you’ve shared here shows we can always choose a new beginning and start to make different choices in our life when we are inspired by people how to live in an open and true way.

  26. It’s a huge moment when we realise that we contribute to our circumstances and it’s not all someone else’s fault! It’s like waking up from a bad dream. At first you blink and try to adjust to what you can now see. But gradually you get to feel the beauty and freedom of not living in ignorance.

  27. So many of us feel trapped with our emotional traits and personality and it is so inspiring to read that there in fact is another way to be in life, to be our true selves, and it is a choice available to every single one of us.

  28. Beautiful to read this FL, and how you have changed your life to one of love and acceptance, I too through Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have found that changing my choices and the way I live, has opened my life up to many new beginnings.

  29. There is so much that gets ordered in our life when we just stop blaming outside and take responsibility of our choices in our life. This in itself is great part of the change that comes later.

  30. Although we call all these changes we make to our life as ‘life changing’ and in a way they are, but actually it is us returning to our natural way of being, a way of life that was already there in us but not lived in full expression.

  31. There is no such thing as a ‘hopeless case’. We can label someone as such and convince them that they are but this is the highest form of evil as it encourages people to give up on themselves and sink into the label they have been given.

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