Life beyond Anger

By F.L, Canberra, Australia, Registered health care professional

I have been attending workshops and having sessions with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for the last four years, and I can speak from my own experience as to how they supported me, and what they are truly about. I had a very unhappy childhood, followed by a chaotic, abusive teenage time and then a disgruntled adulthood. This culminated in a very cynical perspective on most people I had met. I was totally alienated from my entire family, decided I had “had it” with them all, and had lots of issues trying to cope with my own children. I considered the option of escaping by ending it all, but never quite got around to it, and somehow knew deep within it wasn’t the answer. Besides, the way I was going, there were bound to be aspects of the afterlife that irked me as well! The prospect of being free of my woes was impossible to imagine. I often reacted badly to everyone and everything that didn’t go my way. In short, I was a mess.

I had sought help via Buddhism and found that although I loved everything the Dalai Lama had to say and it all resonated deeply, and I could pass any written exam on Buddhist principles, I could never find a path to actually living any of the principles he presented for more than five minutes – I concluded I would eventually get there in another 1000 lives.

I attended a Universal Medicine retreat in 2008 that was life changing. I learned that I had choices and responsibilities. This was huge for me as I was used to simply blaming everything on my ‘circumstances’, or if my mother had loved me, or if this person was nicer or if that was different, etc, etc. This shift in perspective allowed me to actually see how I had contributed to the life I complained so much about – a big pill to swallow, but a very empowering one when grasped.

I slowly began to relearn how to live; it was the first time it had ever been put to me that there was a way of living that could help me with my perceived problems, and I was willing to give it a try. It wasn’t an easy path for me at first… it took time. I worked steadily with Serge Benhayon or Natalie Benhayon, later Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon and Caroline Raphael. I wasn’t always as willing to let go of the ‘victim’ mentality and the comforts it brought; it had been a longstanding pattern and wasn’t going to shift straightaway. Sometimes I argued at them and felt quite disappointed that they did not indulge me or give me any sympathy. What I couldn’t walk away from though, was the feeling of being truly understood and held in love. That was so crucial for my recovery as I really had not felt that before. It allowed me space to turn around the trajectory of my life. They simply reminded me that I had choices, that being a victim or reactive was a choice too. Slowly I came to see this was so – and understand just how powerful this awareness is…

At all times during this relearning phase I felt totally accepted and loved for who I was. The Universal Medicine practitioners never gave up on me, never judged me, never shunned me, never told me what to do, just simply showed me consistently that there was another way to be in life, and helped me discover that I could also choose it for me – that it really was possible.

Some four years later, against all odds, my family and I have reconciled: they noticed the change in me, and instead of being repelled by me they now seek me out. I am getting comments from them like; “…whatever it is that you are doing, keep doing it”, “You look comfortable in your own skin”, and finally, “…when are you coming to visit?”.

One has even asked, “Who is this Serge? I want to meet him as I can see how happy you are now” ­ (totally unsolicited comment). I barely mention Serge… I don’t have to, they can be inspired by how I am with their own unexpected perceptions of my stability, contentedness and calmness. Serge is not the point anyway; it’s all about ME and what I can now offer to myself and then others.

Many other areas of my life have likewise improved; my bosses now seek me out from time to time for my calm and fair approach to work situations. Incidentally I now love being at work, it’s wonderful connecting with people there, and my job has much greater meaning. My kids are pleased that I am more willing to just connect, not just shout at them, and they love meeting the Benhayons (and many others associated with Universal Medicine) when the chance presents.

Interestingly enough, the Benhayons or Universal Medicine practitioners don’t regard me more favourably due to my being much less reactive and more loving these days. They are unattached to my choices and the outcomes that follow. If they never saw me again it wouldn’t trouble them. They simply inspired me to wisely choose how I respond to life and leave me to continue this way forward in my own time, preferably sooner than later, for my own sake! This has been wonderful, there is no one to impress, there are no favourites, no goals to meet, just a chance to truly grow.

I am so glad I didn’t give up or keep branding myself a ‘hopeless’ case. I took the opportunity to consider another way of living. I am not perfect, but I now have fulfilment and true peace within me regularly. The flow-on effect in terms of my outlook on life, and therefore my personal relationships, has been incredibly rewarding.

I look forward to the rest of my life now… in many ways this story of recovery is only the beginning. 

668 thoughts on “Life beyond Anger

  1. It’s a very empowering process to be supported to make your own choices in life and feel what works for yourself. And it’s great to not have the pressure of someone breathing down your neck (as they say) with expectations of how and when you make changes. Love is so simple, it expects nothing, it’s just love with you unconditionally.

  2. Thank you F.L. yes I look forward to the rest of my life too, know that there will be more unfolding, more squirmy moments, more love and the Joy of more self-responsibility and commitment to life every day.

  3. There is nothing more inspiring than to see another living their life being who they truly are, as there is nothing to prove, no one to impress and no goals to achieve.

  4. A beautiful example of the power of reflection. Words are often not needed. How we are and how we move in the world speaks volumes.

  5. I agree the realisation that we have choices and responsibilities that affect our whole being and how we are with others is life changing, in opening up our awareness we allow the space to choose to not go into reaction and to observe the truth so that we are able to respond accordingly.

  6. The retreats, workshops and presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine give us all the opportunity for a different perspective on life. To take responsibility for ourselves and that we are not passive victims of life and its ups and downs, but that we can actually master life and live it to the full.
    This way of living definitely works because I am the living proof.

  7. Anger is a sore topic for me, for a while now I have been aware that there are levels of anger bottled up inside ready to explode at any minute. My knowledge tells me that I should just let go and feel it, surrender to it – however, when I let go a little bit and it starts to come up I feel uncomfortable, distressed and quickly run to my numbing agents to avoid feeling it. It is a process, I know that one day I will let go of it and connect to a deeper level of beauty and harmony than I can probably not even imagine. I very much look forward to that day.

    1. Beautiful honesty. Telling ourselves we just need to let go of it may not always be the answer and that approach may lead to burying the anger. Who knows what we’ve stored in our body that made us angry – not only this life, but possibly many lives. And quite possibly there was a reason to get angry and maybe we didn’t have to the tools to deal with what we were presented with. Being loving and understanding goes a long way when it comes to anger.

    2. It can also be quite socially unacceptable for women to experience and express anger, just as it is for men to not express sadness and vulnerability. One of the key things I’ve felt with anger is it often sits on top of sadness, dealing with the anger pretty much always leads me to the deeper sadness within.

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