A 43yr Old Man Goes On A Secret Mission

by Joel L, Australia.

A couple of years ago, on my way to a Universal Medicine workshop, a conversation started with the friend I was staying with.

The conversation moved to women’s beauty routines and the effort they make to pamper themselves. I noticed a reaction in me when it came to thinking about me doing ‘that stuff’. I never saw Dad do it, surely Men are tougher than that, a bit of cream after sunburn is okay, but anything more and you were a ‘nancy’ (sorry to anyone called Nancy).

I made a choice in that moment to feel what might be behind my reaction rather than just run with the reaction. What I found brought me to tears – a life-time of wanting, yearning to be touched that tenderly, to be held with that much love, to be allowed to ‘pamper’ myself. A lifetime of choosing rough and tumble over caring and gentle.

That was when the secret mission was launched… I was a bit embarrassed at not knowing where to start, so I did what any self-respecting man would do in this situation… I called my wife. After a couple of pointers, I headed out on my own to the ‘girly sections’ of a department store and to those ‘smelly’ shops with soaps and stuff.

It was a bit overwhelming – lots of smells, lots of choice…I stayed away from anything pink (of course), and if something said ‘for men’ it must be safe to test! I got a bit overwhelmed by people trying to spray stuff on me… it was obvious that they had no idea how serious this situation was.

Stage one complete. I walked away with body scrub, bath oil, moisturiser, my first bathrobe since I was a child (not too fluffy of course), and one of those brushy things. NB: no rubber ducks or toy boats.

Back at my friend’s house… no kids, no wife, just me, my bounty and my ‘not too’ fluffy robe. I sank into the bath… first miracle… I didn’t want to leave my wife and join a ‘Kylie Minogue’ tribute group… second miracle… It was AWESOME… third miracle… realising that maybe a rubber duck could have been a nice touch. Stage two complete.

Stage three… repeat often.

293 thoughts on “A 43yr Old Man Goes On A Secret Mission

  1. ‘What I found brought me to tears – a life-time of wanting, yearning to be touched that tenderly, to be held with that much love, to be allowed to ‘pamper’ myself. ‘ This honesty with yourself is inspiring me to be honest about what it is that I yearn for that I’m not giving myself and from which I then try to distract and overcompensate for later – treats that I’ve ‘earned’ rather than consistently being loving with myself. What is it I’m not allowing in myself?

  2. Making your secret mission public, invites other men to go on their own, if they haven’t already. Beautiful.

  3. I loved reading this, the light heartiness, the humour, the wanting to try things out, in stealth.

    What I loved the most, is you noticing that ‘reaction’ in you and you inquired about it, you questioned it, researched and put it into “action”. And you tried it out, and you enjoyed it.

    What’s the difference between a man and a woman, except their genitals? So, why do we have certain things only for men, and certain things only for women? It’s worth pondering on.

    There is nothing wrong with a man being pampered, in whatever form it may be. It just goes to show you that we are conditioned to be in a certain way. And it is okay to take care of ourselves, whether we are a man or whether we are a woman.

  4. Suffering from a lack of Joy certainly holds us in a place of discomfort. So lived Joy is exuding from our essences when we reconnect to the divine quality of our essence and what greater purpose could we have than to be connected?

  5. Loving and taking care of ourselves is fun. If it becomes daunting and too serious and burdensome, there’s no love in it.

    1. Love what you say her Fumiyo, bringing gorgeousness and fun to nurturing rather than seriousness is way more inviting.

    2. The point is, regardless of what society dictates we can or can’t do for ourselves, we are either choosing love or not.

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