Turning a Blind Eye to Truth

by Deborah McInnes, Bangalow, Australia

When I was three years old, I began wearing glasses. I had two eye operations at 5 and 6 years of age to correct a turn in my left eye, but neither was successful. It was discovered that I was also long-sighted. I had to wear very thick glasses every day and was told that I would have to wear them for the rest of my life. It was difficult to accept this, when my wearing glasses was the subject of much ridicule at school. I was taught by adults, to respond to the taunts of the other children with replying, ‘four eyes are better than two’ but they were words said in defence of myself and I never believed them to be true. I felt like I was hiding, trapped behind those big structures on my face that would become grubby, foggy and speckled with rain.

I remember the constant trips to see the eye specialists as a child and all of the arduous testing that followed. They would place drops in my eyes that would sting and give me foggy vision for hours. Mostly, I remember feeling in all of the tests that I had to perform, the words that I had to read – that if I couldn’t do it, I wouldn’t be good enough. I learnt to memorise certain patterns of letters before the testing, to try to prove that I could see them. When asked if one lens was better than another after trying many, many lenses I would give up and just say it was, so that the testing would be over.

I continued wearing glasses until I was 18 years old when I discovered contacts. Contacts became my ‘get out of jail free card’ – as they appeared to disguise my eyesight issue. I believed that if no one could see me wearing glasses, not only would I no longer look what I perceived to be ‘ugly’, I no longer would have the eyesight issue either – and I went about my life pretending I had perfect sight.

The truth was my sight was not good, so I encountered problems with constantly wearing the contacts, and to avoid this, I never took them out. It was recommended to take contacts out after 12 hours, to allow your eyes to breathe but I dared not do so, in case I had to go back to accepting I had eyesight issues. I would wear contacts in the evening and also to bed for many years so that my partner would never be able to see that I had something wrong with my eyes (and therefore something wrong with me). Wearing the contacts for extended periods had many adverse effects on my eyes – dry eyes and sore red eyes, and my lenses would stick to my eyeballs among other symptoms.

Up until I was 29 years old, my eyesight deteriorated slowly – I was a plus four in each eye and I still had the turn in my left eye. As a child, it was explained to me that my eyesight would continue to worsen as I got older and this was presented to me as a normal part of the ageing process and I had come to accept this.

When I was 29, I discovered Universal Medicine and came for my first healing session with Serge Benhayon. From the first meeting, I felt fully met and seen for who I am, for the first time in my life. Instantly I could feel how much I was living a reduced version of myself, that there was more to me. I could see that the person I had become over my life was based on who I thought I needed to be and was modelled on all of the people around me that I perceived to be better than me at the time – seemingly more happy, more popular, smarter, prettier. I had essentially become a blend of them all and in doing so, had lost my own distinct flavour.

Being in the presence of someone I knew was authentic for the first time, was incredibly inspiring. I felt inspired after this meeting, to work at returning to the true me, the original version and not the made up copy I had developed over my life. From this first meeting I began to consider my life and my choices and to open my eyes to the possibility that there was more to life than meets the eye.

I continued having regular treatments with Serge and other UniMed practitioners, as I found the sessions supportive in returning and remembering who I always was and because I was committed to healing the layers that stood over this. There was nothing more important than this to me. I knew with every cell in my body that the Esoteric way of life was true and all of the parts of me that I had shut down over my life were all coming back to life.

As I became more aware of my body and how I was feeling inside, I also began to remember many events that had taken place in my life that had long been forgotten and pushed aside – I had been encouraged to override what I would see and feel as I was growing up, as if it didn’t exist. This message (to override) was reinforced at home, at school and just about everywhere else. Often I was told I was imagining things and not seeing them at all, and at times that whatever I was seeing was really not that bad when compared to far worse things happening for other people. As a small child, I noticed that people seemed to believe they knew me and how I felt, better than I did myself.

One of those long forgotten events was an abuse of me, and particularly traumatic – occurring at a time in my life immediately prior to when I first needed to start wearing glasses. I remembered being three years old again and speaking the truth I felt and had experienced to those I trusted, only to be told it didn’t happen and I must never speak of it again. This was a coincidence I couldn’t ignore and so I began allowing myself to remember and feel everything I had buried at the time, choosing to see what was there to be seen.

Later, as I allowed myself to feel other experiences in my life that I had learnt to override and ‘conveniently delete’, I continued to commit to healing my old pattern of not seeing, distorting what I would see to suit me and turning a blind eye to things. As I did this, I began to see more and more of what it was I was leaving behind me, where I was heading to and where I now stood in my life. Things were a lot clearer.

I discovered in the process that I was actually very uncomfortable with people really looking right at me, in my eyes. I noticed I would blink frequently when speaking with others and I would often look away quickly rather than hold eye contact. It appeared that I was hiding more than my eyes behind the spectacle frames – I had been hiding ‘me’.

During this period of Esoteric Healing and learning to see once more, I went for a routine eye check and discovered that my eyesight had improved. I was told this was very unusual and they believed this to be an error. I wasn’t surprised given all the healing I was doing with the support of Universal Medicine. My eyes were re-tested and it was discovered that my eyesight was clearly better.

Soon after this, I learnt of certain gentle eye movements through Universal Medicine that could be done to support my eyes and vision and I began to incorporate these into my daily routine. I was very committed and consistent with this and did them first thing, every morning with the intention that I wanted to see everything there was to see. I also continued with the Esoteric Healing sessions and continued to address the issues in my life as they presented.

Another year or so later, routine eye tests revealed that my eyesight had improved drastically. I was referred to an eye specialist to see what was ‘wrong’ as the tests were showing my eyesight was now normal.

I went to the eye specialist who confirmed that this was the case, and although I still had a slight turn in my left eye, I no longer needed to wear glasses. I just knew this was the result of choosing to see and my commitment to seeing everything that is there to be seen (to the best of my ability) and not just the bits I want to see as I had always done.

This was never the goal of going to Serge Benhayon or Universal Medicine – it was never for a cure for my eyesight. This was a true miracle that was unexpected yet I knew was deserved.

The learning didn’t stop there…

Last year, I began a new job and I found my vision deteriorating almost immediately, but I chose to put it down to the computers and nothing more. I needed to wear glasses again. I felt like I had failed and gone backwards. I felt very uncomfortable with wearing glasses again as I realised I still had not healed how I felt about myself and how I had always felt as a child wearing glasses and being ridiculed for it. I found myself taking the glasses off when speaking with my work colleagues and putting them on when I was at my desk and no one was around – on and off, and on and off. I even looked into getting contact lenses to avoid having to feel uncomfortable and to maintain the ‘image’ I wanted to maintain. (I had always believed that glasses made me look ugly) – thereby, following the exact same pattern as before, when I was 18 years old.

The difference now was that I couldn’t go through with buying the contacts. Even at the point of ordering and collecting trial lenses to wear, I couldn’t bring myself to put them in my eyes – there was something inside of me now saying very definitively ‘no’. I chose not to seek the relief that the contacts would bring me but to deal with the issue.

It was an empowering day when I accepted wearing glasses and sat in the office as ‘me’ – without hiding the glasses and unconcerned with how others may be with this. The funny thing was that they didn’t even seem to notice, but I felt ten feet tall. By learning to heal this old hurt it also opened my eyes to more things at work that I had chosen to turn a blind eye to.

I discovered that I have tended to always see the goodness in people and override the reality of how they actually may be at the time. Later, I would get confused or hurt if they weren’t being caring with me and this would come as a shock to me. Now I am allowing myself to see the true good in others but to also see the whole picture, not just this – if there is anger, or rudeness or jealousy then I no longer ignore it, I see it for what it is and allow myself to feel this. I am developing a far deeper understanding of others; the more I choose to see.

I have discovered that my eyes will let me know very clearly if I am choosing to see or if I am turning a blind eye to the truth. When I am not seeing something for the truth that it is, my eyesight deteriorates and I find I need to put my glasses on to read and to focus on things. There is fogginess to things. When I am seeing clearly and am open to seeing more – my eyesight is super clear and I do not need the glasses.

231 thoughts on “Turning a Blind Eye to Truth

  1. Deborah, I so appreciate your blog, it’s one of my favourites. My eyesight has recently changed and reading your blog again I can feel there is much I do not what to accept or see for how it is. I have an a image of how I want life to be, yet the way life is is profoundly different. Your blog has helped me connect to the hurt I feel around this and accept what I am seeing in life. In much appreciation for all you have offered here.

  2. I just loved your amazing story Deborah, it truly is inspiring, thank you, I didn’t have eye problems like you, but with my ideals and beliefs I had tunnel vision, not wanting to see the ugliness in life, just wanting to see the good, this too kept me locked away from my true self, I am now open to see the true loving essence in each person but also see the truth of what actually is going on for them and me also, the whole truth.

  3. An truly extraordinary story to read and an incredible confirmation of the understanding that deepens and the healing power that comes when you are prepared to see truth warts and all. Amazing.

  4. Turning a blind eye to truth only hurts us and others, so even when we may not want to see or feel the truth of something at first, I have found there is much to learn and evolve from when it is embraced in full.

  5. It is amazing how precise our body responds when we live truth or not. When I live in truth I see clearly with the veils lifted that otherwise would obstruct that clear vision when I live that lesser life, a life in disconnection with the truth I inevitably belong to.

  6. Reading your blog Deborah, I get a real sense of how our bodies are such wise friends to us, as they will reveal in no uncertain terms, when we turn a blind eye to truth.

  7. I find this article very inspiring Deborah, to make the choice to be open to seeing what is there to be seen is not something that I have consciously decided to do. I am however feeling clearly the consequences of not making this choice. Noticing that I get literally knocked of my feet by being in shock of how another chooses to be, instead of very simply accepting anothers choice and seeing it clearly for what it is.

  8. What a fantastic barometer your eyes have been Deborah. Our bodies speak to us all the time as you have clearly demonstrated. Thanks.

  9. Thank you Deborah for sharing such an inspiring blog. The vision in my eyes have also improved and I no longer wear contact lenses. It was quite interesting because after not wearing contact lenses for a while I decided to put them in for a wedding because I thought they would give me a little extra vision to what I would normally have. They seemed to be ok to begin with or so I thought but it wasn’t long before I had to take them out because the vision wasn’t clear in my left eye. I knew then, 100% that I had over-ridden my feeling not to wear them. The body has an amazing way of letting us know when something is not right.

  10. This is very interesting. I have always had very good eyesight throughout my life, but in the past 5-6 years, it’s been deteriorating drastically and I am needing glasses when I work or read. But recently, after an Esoteric Yoga session, I noticed that I was not wearing my glasses and was able to work on my computer. It didn’t last very long, but got me very curious about what makes it harder for my eyes to receive what is being presented in front of me, and how I am receiving them, or whether I am trying to counter-project my ‘view’. Thank you, Deborah, your sharing here is helping me deepen my understanding on what is going on.

  11. Wow that’s astonishing, it’s absolutely amazing how clearly our bodies can tell us or show us exactly where we are going wrong, to the point even something labelled as permanent, such as sight deterioration, can change and heal.

  12. What a great teller of how things are truly when the body gives it to you like that. What I feel reading this is the strength and power you held as a young girl and how others might have had problems with seeing and feeling this in someone way much younger than themselves. What I learned also from reading this is that we shouldn’t calibrate ourselves when we are with others. It’s very healthy to shine as much as we can so that others can see that it is fully allowed.

  13. “Who I thought I needed to be was modelled on all of the people around me that I perceived to be better than me at the time – seemingly more happy, more popular, smarter, prettier.” I can relate to choosing to live the same way Deborah, confirming my lack of self-worth in discounting and not accepting myself for everything outside that I could aspire to and forever seek to become.

  14. How wonderful Deborah that you were finally able to see the truth of you and the world; no more hiding behind those lenses. Choosing to allow yourself to open your eyes, literally and figuratively, has certainly been a life-changing choice for you. This is so very inspirational to read in many ways, reminding me to look at anything that my eyes are still closed to.

  15. This really highlights the absolute wisdom and truth that our body reflects and what happens when we see ourselves and how we are in the world with an openness and honesty. A very beautiful blog.

  16. Wow – awesome blog Deborah. I’m slightly stunned that your eyesight improved so drastically! I’ve had poor eyesight since I was about 15 and have worn contact lenses pretty much every day since then. Reading this, I’m inspired to take a closer look (no pun intended) at why this is – what am I hiding from and why am I not willing to be seen as who I truly am, and what am I not willing to see?

  17. Our eyes are a great barometer of what has occurred in our lives and also what is happening currently, for they will show if we are choosing to embrace life, in which case our eyes will be aware, tender, loving and will have a beautiful sparkle, whereas if we are carrying our past hurts or not wanting to see truth, our eyes will be heavy, lack luster and often unengaging.

  18. Deborah, thank-you for this deeply personal and at once universal sharing. What you’ve described here is nothing less than a process of true healing, which occurs through our willingness to go deeper than any apparent condition or symptom, and connect with the great teachings it is showing us.
    A physical betterment or ‘outcome’ is not the point, nor indeed the motivator, as can be read in your story here… yet how truly amazing that your vision has not only improved, but its quality continues to show you about your relationship with truth – especially of that which you perceive around you.
    I am deeply touched by your strength of character and indeed, commitment to not only seeing, but living a life of truth Deborah, thank-you.

  19. Very much appreciating here also Deborah, the way in which you found Serge Benhayon so deeply inspirational – that here was someone who was ‘authentic’. Hear, hear to this, from my own experience also, and how the quality of this man is a constant marker as to what it is to live who one truly is in full, and commit to all in the living (without exception).

  20. All I can focus on right now is how blessed you are Deborah that after wearing your contact lenses for so long and not removing them as prescribed you didn’t get a bad infection in your eye/s as some can be so horrendous they can have significant repercussions on the health of your eye with some people even losing their eye as a consequence.

  21. A great blog Deborah, highlighting the absolute wisdom we hold in the blog and the healing that is possible when we are ready to see and feel the truth.

  22. That is a totally amazing run of events but it makes so much sense, the fact that so few people are seeing and relating to their bodies signals in this way is something I find interesting. This blog is so inspiring, it goes way beyond eye sight issues and to the core of all our problems, taking responsibility and facing up to our stuff instead of avoiding it.

  23. Our eyes will certainly let us know where we are at, with and without glasses. And they love the dedication of some gentle and purpose-full exercises which need not be based on function and outcomes.

  24. What a great marker your eyesight and glasses are for your healing Deborah, thank you for sharing your inspiring article which wakens me to the fact that I have wanted to view life with rose coloured glasses in my past and still do at times, so now I am opening up to see the areas in my life that I am avoiding.

  25. This is a great testimony to the healing that can occur when we start to take responsibility for our life and are willing to really look at what we have created through our choices.

  26. What a great understanding you share, that our bodies indicate when we are avoiding seeing, hearing, listening and speaking truth. To dismiss any symptom as a localised topical issue is to deny the wisdom and insights that are truly available to us all.

  27. Great to read your blog again Deborah, so much to learn about seeing. I also see all the good in people but need to work on seeing the whole picture and being comfortable to do so. Lots more to contemplate, thank you.

  28. Amazing account Deborah… which shows how closely related our emotional-behavioural patterns are with ailments in the human body. Do the work on ourselves-address emotional issues- and the body has an opportunity of restoring itself.

  29. I love how our body clearly communicates with us and opens up the opportunity to feel and understand the truth of what is really going on and why, so that we are able to deepen our awareness and our acceptance of who we truly are.

  30. I feel when wearing glasses there is a heaviness from the frames but not only from the frames, there is a heaviness within myself of not choosing to see what the truth is. Over the years there has been a lot of shedding from wanting to see things a certain way to slowly seeing the truth of things, I can be very stubborn on this. It is okay to accept life is not perfect, that the truth is many things hurt us in life, and we have to allow ourselves to feel all of this and to come to the acceptance that although we know life can be much more, the reality is it is not at the moment. There has been a few times when I went about my day unable to wear contacts and do not have my spectacles with me, so I would have to really feel my day and cannot pretend I do not know, because it is not only through eyesight that things are registered. When feeling is used, even without eyesight we cannot be fooled, and why would I choose to just use my eyes? No one can really control life into how we want it to be, no one can really wait for the world to become what we know the truth to be, we can only take the first steps and live what we know is true.

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