Turning a Blind Eye to Truth

When I was three years old, I began wearing glasses. I had two eye operations at 5 and 6 years of age to correct a turn in my left eye, but neither was successful. It was discovered that I was also long-sighted. I had to wear very thick glasses every day and was told that I would have to wear them for the rest of my life. It was difficult to accept this, when my wearing glasses was the subject of much ridicule at school. I was taught by adults, to respond to the taunts of the other children with replying, ‘four eyes are better than two’ but they were words said in defence of myself and I never believed them to be true. I felt like I was hiding, trapped behind those big structures on my face that would become grubby, foggy and speckled with rain.

I remember the constant trips to see the eye specialists as a child and all of the arduous testing that followed. They would place drops in my eyes that would sting and give me foggy vision for hours. Mostly, I remember feeling in all of the tests that I had to perform, the words that I had to read – that if I couldn’t do it, I wouldn’t be good enough. I learnt to memorise certain patterns of letters before the testing, to try to prove that I could see them. When asked if one lens was better than another after trying many, many lenses I would give up and just say it was, so that the testing would be over.

I continued wearing glasses until I was 18 years old when I discovered contacts. Contacts became my ‘get out of jail free card’ – as they appeared to disguise my eyesight issue. I believed that if no one could see me wearing glasses, not only would I no longer look what I perceived to be ‘ugly’, I no longer would have the eyesight issue either – and I went about my life pretending I had perfect sight.

The truth was my sight was not good, so I encountered problems with constantly wearing the contacts, and to avoid this, I never took them out. It was recommended to take contacts out after 12 hours, to allow your eyes to breathe but I dared not do so, in case I had to go back to accepting I had eyesight issues. I would wear contacts in the evening and also to bed for many years so that my partner would never be able to see that I had something wrong with my eyes (and therefore something wrong with me). Wearing the contacts for extended periods had many adverse effects on my eyes – dry eyes and sore red eyes, and my lenses would stick to my eyeballs among other symptoms.

Up until I was 29 years old, my eyesight deteriorated slowly – I was a plus four in each eye and I still had the turn in my left eye. As a child, it was explained to me that my eyesight would continue to worsen as I got older and this was presented to me as a normal part of the ageing process and I had come to accept this.

When I was 29, I discovered Universal Medicine and came for my first healing session with Serge Benhayon. From the first meeting, I felt fully met and seen for who I am, for the first time in my life. Instantly I could feel how much I was living a reduced version of myself, that there was more to me. I could see that the person I had become over my life was based on who I thought I needed to be and was modelled on all of the people around me that I perceived to be better than me at the time – seemingly more happy, more popular, smarter, prettier. I had essentially become a blend of them all and in doing so, had lost my own distinct flavour.

Being in the presence of someone I knew was authentic for the first time, was incredibly inspiring. I felt inspired after this meeting, to work at returning to the true me, the original version and not the made up copy I had developed over my life. From this first meeting I began to consider my life and my choices and to open my eyes to the possibility that there was more to life than meets the eye.

I continued having regular treatments with Serge and other UniMed practitioners, as I found the sessions supportive in returning and remembering who I always was and because I was committed to healing the layers that stood over this. There was nothing more important than this to me. I knew with every cell in my body that the Esoteric way of life was true and all of the parts of me that I had shut down over my life were all coming back to life.

As I became more aware of my body and how I was feeling inside, I also began to remember many events that had taken place in my life that had long been forgotten and pushed aside – I had been encouraged to override what I would see and feel as I was growing up, as if it didn’t exist. This message (to override) was reinforced at home, at school and just about everywhere else. Often I was told I was imagining things and not seeing them at all, and at times that whatever I was seeing was really not that bad when compared to far worse things happening for other people. As a small child, I noticed that people seemed to believe they knew me and how I felt, better than I did myself.

One of those long forgotten events was an abuse of me, and particularly traumatic – occurring at a time in my life immediately prior to when I first needed to start wearing glasses. I remembered being three years old again and speaking the truth I felt and had experienced to those I trusted, only to be told it didn’t happen and I must never speak of it again. This was a coincidence I couldn’t ignore and so I began allowing myself to remember and feel everything I had buried at the time, choosing to see what was there to be seen.

Later, as I allowed myself to feel other experiences in my life that I had learnt to override and ‘conveniently delete’, I continued to commit to healing my old pattern of not seeing, distorting what I would see to suit me and turning a blind eye to things. As I did this, I began to see more and more of what it was I was leaving behind me, where I was heading to and where I now stood in my life. Things were a lot clearer.

I discovered in the process that I was actually very uncomfortable with people really looking right at me, in my eyes. I noticed I would blink frequently when speaking with others and I would often look away quickly rather than hold eye contact. It appeared that I was hiding more than my eyes behind the spectacle frames – I had been hiding ‘me’.

During this period of Esoteric Healing and learning to see once more, I went for a routine eye check and discovered that my eyesight had improved. I was told this was very unusual and they believed this to be an error. I wasn’t surprised given all the healing I was doing with the support of Universal Medicine. My eyes were re-tested and it was discovered that my eyesight was clearly better.

Soon after this, I learnt of certain gentle eye movements through Universal Medicine that could be done to support my eyes and vision and I began to incorporate these into my daily routine. I was very committed and consistent with this and did them first thing, every morning with the intention that I wanted to see everything there was to see. I also continued with the Esoteric Healing sessions and continued to address the issues in my life as they presented.

Another year or so later, routine eye tests revealed that my eyesight had improved drastically. I was referred to an eye specialist to see what was ‘wrong’ as the tests were showing my eyesight was now normal.

I went to the eye specialist who confirmed that this was the case, and although I still had a slight turn in my left eye, I no longer needed to wear glasses. I just knew this was the result of choosing to see and my commitment to seeing everything that is there to be seen (to the best of my ability) and not just the bits I want to see as I had always done.

This was never the goal of going to Serge Benhayon or Universal Medicine – it was never for a cure for my eyesight. This was a true miracle that was unexpected yet I knew was deserved.

The learning didn’t stop there…

Last year, I began a new job and I found my vision deteriorating almost immediately, but I chose to put it down to the computers and nothing more. I needed to wear glasses again. I felt like I had failed and gone backwards. I felt very uncomfortable with wearing glasses again as I realised I still had not healed how I felt about myself and how I had always felt as a child wearing glasses and being ridiculed for it. I found myself taking the glasses off when speaking with my work colleagues and putting them on when I was at my desk and no one was around – on and off, and on and off. I even looked into getting contact lenses to avoid having to feel uncomfortable and to maintain the ‘image’ I wanted to maintain. (I had always believed that glasses made me look ugly) – thereby, following the exact same pattern as before, when I was 18 years old.

The difference now was that I couldn’t go through with buying the contacts. Even at the point of ordering and collecting trial lenses to wear, I couldn’t bring myself to put them in my eyes – there was something inside of me now saying very definitively ‘no’. I chose not to seek the relief that the contacts would bring me but to deal with the issue.

It was an empowering day when I accepted wearing glasses and sat in the office as ‘me’ – without hiding the glasses and unconcerned with how others may be with this. The funny thing was that they didn’t even seem to notice, but I felt ten feet tall. By learning to heal this old hurt it also opened my eyes to more things at work that I had chosen to turn a blind eye to.

I discovered that I have tended to always see the goodness in people and override the reality of how they actually may be at the time. Later, I would get confused or hurt if they weren’t being caring with me and this would come as a shock to me. Now I am allowing myself to see the true good in others but to also see the whole picture, not just this – if there is anger, or rudeness or jealousy then I no longer ignore it, I see it for what it is and allow myself to feel this. I am developing a far deeper understanding of others; the more I choose to see.

I have discovered that my eyes will let me know very clearly if I am choosing to see or if I am turning a blind eye to the truth. When I am not seeing something for the truth that it is, my eyesight deteriorates and I find I need to put my glasses on to read and to focus on things. There is fogginess to things. When I am seeing clearly and am open to seeing more – my eyesight is super clear and I do not need the glasses.

by Deborah 

249 thoughts on “Turning a Blind Eye to Truth

  1. There is always so much more to learn and understand, ‘I am developing a far deeper understanding of others; the more I choose to see.’

  2. An amazing sharing, what a turn around of your vision, and level of understanding and awareness you came to, ‘When I am seeing clearly and am open to seeing more – my eyesight is super clear and I do not need the glasses.’

  3. Love what you share in this comment Linda, so true, ‘When we override the truth of what we feel from within, our body finds a way to clearly communicate with us to guide our attention back to feeling’, our amazing bodies.

  4. “there was more to life than meets the eye.” Our eyes may ‘see’ what is in front of us but our whole body feels what is there to be felt.

  5. Many of our senses are affected, they are radars for not only the physicality but more importantly, the energetic parts of living.
    Our eyes can see more than they can see; our ears can hear more than what they can hear, they can feel too. The nose can smell more than just a smell; our taste buds can taste more than just food or drink we put in our mouths; we can feel more when we touch things.

    Are you seeing, hearing, feeling, tasting smelling more than it is?

  6. ‘When I am not seeing something for the truth that it is, my eyesight deteriorates’ – the irony of when we ignore the truth behind everything around us, and how it can affect us. Not only is it physical, but an energetic truth behind it, if we are willing to accept this.

    For me, one of my senses that have been affected since a young age, has been my hearing. Over the years, they needed the physical treatment to healing, and the energetic aspect too.

    The body is a marker for truth and will never let you down, it is us that lets it down and walk away from it, till we are slapped in the face by a condition / ailment / disease. Then we often wake up, if we so chose to do so.

  7. What an amazing insight into how we are when we shut down our bodies to feeling the way our sensitivities actually work, and the true level of love we have for ourselves and others changes so much that it seems like a miracle, but it is only natural.

  8. So true – we only want to see what we want to see and find a sense of safety in not seeing the ugliness and the bad, and put ourselves in a course of movements that would stop us seeing the all that there is, while as you so beautifully share here, there’s so much power in being able to see everything with clarity.

  9. “Later, as I allowed myself to feel other experiences in my life that I had learnt to override and ‘conveniently delete’, I continued to commit to healing my old pattern of not seeing, distorting what I would see to suit me and turning a blind eye to things.” I can relate to only seeing what I want to see and not the whole picture of what’s truly going on, thanks Deborah for your powerful blog.

  10. Our bodies are truly amazing. Communicating every movement and choice to us without fail. How we care for and support our bodies is what supports us in understanding our bodies communication. Nevertheless its a wonderful tool to understanding the intricacies of life though.

  11. This I also need to share .. It was inspiring to feel how healing it is to read and understand what the body is showing energetically. How Deborah’s eyes suffered because of the lack of willingness to see the truth of what was going on around her. If I relate this back to my body .. each time my lower back is painful it is a sign I am holding back. There is nothing like the livingness and the transformation from what is not true in the body to the marker of what is now true.

  12. How miraculous Deborah! My only comment for now would be to encourage everyone (who has eyes) to read this blog much to gain — a transcript and passage of grace, and a miracle we all can experience ourselves. “The body is the marker of Truth” Serge Benhayon”

  13. As you have illustrated Deborah what we see and understand from our everyday life with our eyes is completely related to how well we accept the depth and reality of what we feel.

  14. ‘…I began to consider my life and my choices and to open my eyes to the possibility that there was more to life than meets the eye’. Thanks Deborah for this reflection and your whole sharing.
    When we consider the big picture of everything, our view cannot but expand by embracing the wholeness of it. It’s from that approach that we can feel we are enough and complete too.

  15. That’s a miracle, how do you explain to so called science that anything is possible? We are so dogged into our beliefs and wanting to use experiments to prove our point that experiences like yours are seen as an abnormality, they’re not believed and not even studied.

  16. It’s still one of my favourite blogs! Thank you Deborah for sharing everything you have discovered about allowing yourself to receive all you see vs only seeing what you want to. I can feel I still have quite strong pictures and ideals of how I think life should be, which means I don’t want to see life exactly how it is. Life for me is a bit of a letting go process to allow myself and others to be exactly as they are. I noted also your words about developing more understanding of people when you let yourself see it all.

  17. ‘Another year or so later, routine eye tests revealed that my eyesight had improved drastically. I was referred to an eye specialist to see what was ‘wrong’ as the tests were showing my eyesight was now normal.’ I can relate very well to this, being told there clearly must be something wrong with me because I didn’t fit into a box. What if it’s the boxes themselves that are wrong, that keep us capped from being who we truly are. I love that your eyesight drastically changed and you put the medical profession into a bit of a spin because they had never experienced this before whereas to anyone who has studied with Universal Medicine will know that miracles like this are nothing to be surprised by. Hundreds of students have reported improving medical conditions, myself included and you just have to look at any one of the photographs to see how alive and vibrant we all are.

  18. Quite amazing how super clear the body is showing what is needed to be looked at. And I feel the soul is there to guide you as well. I can’t help but feeling that there should be a documentation of what happened with you and your eyesight and how the healing you had chosen, not just the actual sessions, but your inner choice to heal set forth a process whereby the physical body itself responded. When they thought it was an error to see how your eyesight had gotten better and them thinking it being an error shows unfortunately how there is a staleness in being open to what could be possible in terms of knowing how the body obviously can work and heal itself by showcase of your then improved eyesight. Thank you so much for this sharing. It was healing to read it.

  19. Wearing glasses could be interpreted as he/she needs help to see. Yet, it can also be seen from the appreciation side of the equation. Here is a person that wants to see and does not like to live in the shadows.

    1. And this is a person who is willing to see truth, ‘I have discovered that my eyes will let me know very clearly if I am choosing to see or if I am turning a blind eye to the truth.’

  20. Yes, I cannot imagine not having this intimate level of relationship and conversation with my body because it is so honest and direct. It is a blessing and a standard by which we would do well to run our lives in general.

  21. Wow this is very interesting and a huge turnaround. To consider that our eyesight, like our hearing can deteriorate when we don’t like what we see or hear has to be on the table for consideration.

  22. Thank you so much for sharing the impact of ‘turning a blind eye to the truth’. This is an amazing story, a miracle, really, but it actually all makes sense and reminds me that I am living the consequence of my choices and the only way to heal truly is to go back to who I am in truth.

  23. I think we take our sight and our eyes for granted and don’t really appreicate how precious our sight and our insight is, we see – but do we really see? Could there be so much more to everything we see than meets the eye, and perhaps our eyes have a grander role than we think.

  24. That’s very true Elizabeth, I notice a profound difference in my eyes at times and what they reflect – the joy to be me or the sadness, hurt and withdrawal.

  25. Deborah it’s something I am going to enquire about regarding the gentle eye exercises, just bringing attention and presence to this area of the body would be very healing in itself. It’s also shown me I don’t yet have a very deep connection to my eyes, I use them of course and can feel them, but I don’t spend time just feeling that area of the body and all it has to communicate. Your point about not wanting to see the truth is a good one too, as we can easily say there are many things we don’t want to see based on what’s happening on the physical surface alone, but there may be a truth there we don’t want to register.

  26. I agree when we choose to turn a blind eye, our eyesight is affected, the key I think for me is to catch what it is that I am still choosing to turn a blind eye to.

    1. True, what am I choosing not to see, ‘When I am not seeing something for the truth that it is, my eyesight deteriorates and I find I need to put my glasses on to read and to focus on things.’

  27. I feel when wearing glasses there is a heaviness from the frames but not only from the frames, there is a heaviness within myself of not choosing to see what the truth is. Over the years there has been a lot of shedding from wanting to see things a certain way to slowly seeing the truth of things, I can be very stubborn on this. It is okay to accept life is not perfect, that the truth is many things hurt us in life, and we have to allow ourselves to feel all of this and to come to the acceptance that although we know life can be much more, the reality is it is not at the moment. There has been a few times when I went about my day unable to wear contacts and do not have my spectacles with me, so I would have to really feel my day and cannot pretend I do not know, because it is not only through eyesight that things are registered. When feeling is used, even without eyesight we cannot be fooled, and why would I choose to just use my eyes? No one can really control life into how we want it to be, no one can really wait for the world to become what we know the truth to be, we can only take the first steps and live what we know is true.

  28. Amazing account Deborah… which shows how closely related our emotional-behavioural patterns are with ailments in the human body. Do the work on ourselves-address emotional issues- and the body has an opportunity of restoring itself.

  29. Great to read your blog again Deborah, so much to learn about seeing. I also see all the good in people but need to work on seeing the whole picture and being comfortable to do so. Lots more to contemplate, thank you.

  30. What a great understanding you share, that our bodies indicate when we are avoiding seeing, hearing, listening and speaking truth. To dismiss any symptom as a localised topical issue is to deny the wisdom and insights that are truly available to us all.

  31. This is a great testimony to the healing that can occur when we start to take responsibility for our life and are willing to really look at what we have created through our choices.

    1. Bringing responsibility back to how we are living, the choices we make, is crucial if we are concerned about our health and well-being.

  32. What a great marker your eyesight and glasses are for your healing Deborah, thank you for sharing your inspiring article which wakens me to the fact that I have wanted to view life with rose coloured glasses in my past and still do at times, so now I am opening up to see the areas in my life that I am avoiding.

  33. Our eyes will certainly let us know where we are at, with and without glasses. And they love the dedication of some gentle and purpose-full exercises which need not be based on function and outcomes.

  34. That is a totally amazing run of events but it makes so much sense, the fact that so few people are seeing and relating to their bodies signals in this way is something I find interesting. This blog is so inspiring, it goes way beyond eye sight issues and to the core of all our problems, taking responsibility and facing up to our stuff instead of avoiding it.

  35. All I can focus on right now is how blessed you are Deborah that after wearing your contact lenses for so long and not removing them as prescribed you didn’t get a bad infection in your eye/s as some can be so horrendous they can have significant repercussions on the health of your eye with some people even losing their eye as a consequence.

  36. Very much appreciating here also Deborah, the way in which you found Serge Benhayon so deeply inspirational – that here was someone who was ‘authentic’. Hear, hear to this, from my own experience also, and how the quality of this man is a constant marker as to what it is to live who one truly is in full, and commit to all in the living (without exception).

  37. Deborah, thank-you for this deeply personal and at once universal sharing. What you’ve described here is nothing less than a process of true healing, which occurs through our willingness to go deeper than any apparent condition or symptom, and connect with the great teachings it is showing us.
    A physical betterment or ‘outcome’ is not the point, nor indeed the motivator, as can be read in your story here… yet how truly amazing that your vision has not only improved, but its quality continues to show you about your relationship with truth – especially of that which you perceive around you.
    I am deeply touched by your strength of character and indeed, commitment to not only seeing, but living a life of truth Deborah, thank-you.

  38. Your experience defies medical science, so to me this shows that medical science has much to learn about the relationship of our choices to our health and wellbeing.

    1. Great point Lucy, medical science is incredible but what would happen if we combined medical science with complementary health and responsibility for our choices.

  39. This really highlights the absolute wisdom and truth that our body reflects and what happens when we see ourselves and how we are in the world with an openness and honesty. A very beautiful blog.

  40. How wonderful Deborah that you were finally able to see the truth of you and the world; no more hiding behind those lenses. Choosing to allow yourself to open your eyes, literally and figuratively, has certainly been a life-changing choice for you. This is so very inspirational to read in many ways, reminding me to look at anything that my eyes are still closed to.

  41. What a great teller of how things are truly when the body gives it to you like that. What I feel reading this is the strength and power you held as a young girl and how others might have had problems with seeing and feeling this in someone way much younger than themselves. What I learned also from reading this is that we shouldn’t calibrate ourselves when we are with others. It’s very healthy to shine as much as we can so that others can see that it is fully allowed.

  42. Wow that’s astonishing, it’s absolutely amazing how clearly our bodies can tell us or show us exactly where we are going wrong, to the point even something labelled as permanent, such as sight deterioration, can change and heal.

  43. This is very interesting. I have always had very good eyesight throughout my life, but in the past 5-6 years, it’s been deteriorating drastically and I am needing glasses when I work or read. But recently, after an Esoteric Yoga session, I noticed that I was not wearing my glasses and was able to work on my computer. It didn’t last very long, but got me very curious about what makes it harder for my eyes to receive what is being presented in front of me, and how I am receiving them, or whether I am trying to counter-project my ‘view’. Thank you, Deborah, your sharing here is helping me deepen my understanding on what is going on.

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