Doctor, Please Heal Me

by Cherise Holt, Nurse, Australia

For the past five years I have seen a dermatologist. In this time I have had an appointment on average every three months, with each appointment lasting around 20 minutes – so I spend approximately 80 minutes with her every year. What I have found is that no matter which practitioners we see in our life, be they medical or complementary, we create a relationship with them.

When I first saw her, I had been referred by my General Practitioner (GP) for assessment and treatment of keloid scarring on my chest and shoulders. My treatments involved extremely painful cortisone injections into the scars to help decrease the inflammation and pain. Keloid scars are made up of many little nerve endings, and are unlike other scarring which can commonly be numb to the touch. It was the scars on my chest that caused me the most grief and affected me every day.

They appeared on my skin during my early teenage years and as they grew, so did my hatred of them. I despised them. The clothes I wore had to be of the softest material as any scratch or touch was at times unbearable for me. Every outfit I wore was carefully designed to cover and hide them. I often searched the internet in the hope of discovering new medical treatments but I felt disheartened, as a successful and pain-free treatment was difficult to find.

When I first saw my dermatologist I was desperate for a fix for the pain and I would have done anything to not have to look at them ever again; the sight of them, at every glance, completely repulsed me. What I first noticed with my doctor was how her touch to my skin felt so gentle – also how she spoke softly and was always supportive in her words of encouragement. Before each appointment I would feel nervous, as I knew the discomfort I was in for. Although the local anaesthetic gave me an hour or two of relief, I would be in agony with nerve pain for up to 12 hours afterwards, unable to find any comfortable position or even sit still. I can remember my body being in constant motion as I tried to keep my mind off the pain. I felt disheartened, as the first two to three years I would go through the treatment only to have them grow again, not always as bad, but mostly bringing more pain.

Today, after 15 years of these scars and five years of steroid treatment, I went to see my dermatologist for another appointment. For the first time, we didn’t just do the usual chit-chat (how is work going? etc.). Today, with my permission, she brought a medical student in to watch and learn about the treatment of these scars. She shared with him my experience from her point of view, and spoke so highly of my ability to cope so well with what she described as a painful and unfair medical condition (with no real known cause) over the years. She spoke of the sadness there is seeing people who permanently ink their chests with tattoos, and here I was with these permanent markings I hadn’t asked for.

It was here that I opened up to share with her my own experience. What I feel is, people can take their medical conditions, illness and diseases to their doctors and say, ‘Here is a part of me, please fix it! I may only see you 80 minutes of every 365 days, but you are the doctor with the knowledge and the medical know-how; this disease that is in my body I do not know how to fix, so please do it for me and ASAP because I have had enough of the sadness that it brings me.’

When I shared with my doctor that in the last two years I had been working on self-love, she didn’t hesitate to nod her head in agreement, confirming how much she had noticed this. I told her how through this I discovered that I could work with her in the treatment of my scars. It is not for me to say, ‘here are my scars, please fix them’. As I had previously hated them, I am now learning to love them – they are a part of me, and as I am learning to love ALL of me, then of course they are there to love, too. It amazes me that for so long she was dedicated in the application of her medical expertise to help heal my body, yet I was taking no responsibility for the treatment of this same body – my own. Her gentle hands and medicine were doing battle with the anger and self-hatred (self-abuse) that I was in.

We are all capable of making the choice to heal ourselves: our bodies are our own responsibility, so why wouldn’t we want to treat them with the utmost respect and an endless amount of love?!* In the past two years my scars have dramatically changed and are far less painful, most times now I forget they are there. I recall a time I had only dreamed that this may one day be the case. The physical pain has eased and I am still working on the deep inner pain that I have experienced with them: the self-abuse and punishment of my body that I had once allowed and accepted… and how I had chosen to hide them (and me) away from the world.

When my doctor asked what support I had received in achieving this new level of self-love, I told her how I have been inspired by the practitioners I see for modalities such as Esoteric Chakra-puncture, and that I have completed some healing courses with Universal Medicine. Although she mentioned she had heard of Universal Medicine, I felt no need to know if she had seen the sensationalised media reports of late, spreading complete untruths about the very people who have inspired me to make such loving and responsible changes in my life and in my body. These people are my practitioners and Serge Benhayon: I have created relationships with them also.

Instead what I felt was: she knows me – and we have a relationship that dispels any untruth that can ever be spoken or printed. Our doctor-patient connection has been more than just that, it has been woman-to-woman, person-to-person. I have been deeply inspired by her gentle ways for many years – and she has observed me blossom into a self-nurturing woman.

*For those further interested in a discussion on this topic, please see Eunice Minford’s article at Medicine and Serge Benhayon, Illness and Disease are Healing

234 thoughts on “Doctor, Please Heal Me

  1. The understanding you present here Cherise in your experience and choice to self love holds an in-ignorable message. This being, self love along side Esoteric Modalities and Western Medicine supports true healing.

  2. I love what you are presenting here Cherise. Giving our power away to another is to deny our responsibility – even with our GP’s. They are not there to fix us but to support us with our own healing. How wonderful to appreciate this relationship in the way that you do here.

  3. This awareness that you offer of a relationship between patient and practitioner opens the door for us as patients to know we have responsibility in our own healing, and not to lay that responsibility at the door of another (even though they may greatly support us).

  4. Cherise and your doctor could observe too, that she is no longer having to battle the anger and self abuse. So really what anybody could say would never matter because of how she would have seen you grow as a self loving, self-nurturing woman. This was all confirmed in front of you as she walked through your case with her student. The evidence is all there in front of her.

  5. It is very true, we take our bodies to the doctor and say fix me, take away this pain. I think pain is the thing that certainly used to get my attention the most. I have learnt through building a relationship with my own body that self love, self care and building a solid foundation of both in my body is true responsibility when it comes to taking our body anywhere else for support.

  6. ‘Doing our part’ to support what modern medicine has to offer is an essential part of the future of our healthcare system. Thanks for the perfect example of this in action… I can only imagine the blessing you have been for your doctor too.

  7. To take ourselves to a medical professional knowing that we have a huge part in the healing of our condition, instead of walking in the door with a “fix me” attitude is, in my opinion, the first big step to the healing we are seeking. Most of humanity has not been raised to take responsibility for the care of their bodies but with the belief that someone will be there to fix them. This is one belief that needs to be turned right around if the health of humanity is to begin to improve.

  8. Such a beautiful example Cherise of the power of building relationships with everyone in the community, and also your choice to be responsible for your healing and not expecting the Doctor to have all the answers for you.

  9. Thank you Cherise for sharing your experience of taking responsibility for your part of healing in connection with your doctor and her gentle loving care, and how bringing self love into your life along with Universal Medicine modalities you are gradually healing.

  10. The magic that can happen between us if we just allow it is breath taking. I find it quite humbling that between people there is actually just love all there awaiting if we choose to. And the love that I’m referring to is that deep connection where you can meet another in a space that is what I can describe as pure, free of all images of how things are to be or how to behave. You seem to have had that with your GP which I find beautifull.

  11. Cherise, your article highlights beautifully how important it is for us to take responsibility for the ill conditions that we create in our bodies. When we are prepared to look at and heal the underlying causes that produces our symptoms, conventional medicine and true complementary medicine can then be more supportive in our overall healing process.

  12. This is such a wonderful and inspirational example of what can happen when we see our health practitioner as an equal instead of putting them on a pedestal deferring to their wisdom and not acknowledging ours. Yes they have such huge knowledge of all things medical, but it is us who has the intimate knowledge of our body; we are the authority of it and claiming this can change, as I have recently experienced, the whole doctor/patient relationship where we work together for the healing that is waiting.

  13. This really jumped out for me today, “Her gentle hands and medicine were doing battle with the anger and self-hatred (self-abuse) that I was in.” What a revelation for the medical system, to understand that a persons thoughts, emotions, hurts etc. all play a part in obstructing and going against the healing that they are prescribing. That’s huge… this would take away medical professionals burning out and believing they are the ones that need to fix the patients.

  14. Do we love every part of our body? It is a question I am going to take with me into my day. Although there have been parts of my body I have hated do I truly love those parts of my body now? It is beautiful and inspiring to read how Cherise is learning to love all of her.

  15. Some great points you have shared here Cherise, that I very much relate to. In giving my power away to others to help and do things for me I was unwilling to take responsibility for my part or to look more closely at situations and the opportunity they are to learn, heal and evolve from.

  16. “Please heal me” is a common request, be it with a doctor, dentist or even an esoteric practitioner. We can want relief from our symptoms and what we are feeling in our body. Yet the only way to heal is through our own responsibility.

  17. Thank you for your very personal sharing Cherise. Relationships are important especially with yourself. To know yourself, to understand who you are, and what you are capable of is a consistent daily moment to moment choice. We hold the ‘scar’ of our human body to remind us. It is there to show us our return back to love.
    “We are all capable of making the choice to heal ourselves: our bodies are our own responsibility,..”.

    1. Beautifully said Rik. I was in awe of Cherise’s relationship with herself when I read this blog. I was able to see such a clear correlation between Cherise’s physical symptoms and her relationship with herself. From this foundation Cherise has been able to build an incredible relationship with her doctor and many others that are blessed to know her. An amazing healing from and for the heart (and chest).

  18. I could feel the appreciation for your GP and the growing appreciation for yourself. Appreciation (and self-love) are the key ingredients to healing what is not you in this life. I was really touched when you said you loved your scars, because you love ALL of you. I was moved to tears as I realise I have hated/or disliked parts of my body and all our bodies want to do is love us and keep us alive. They are our greatest allies and it is quite sad when we choose to dislike/hate them.

  19. To take responsibility for our own healing process makes sense, because we are the ones who caused the illness in the first place. This is not a burden or unreasonable demand – it is an empowerment.

  20. Over the years I have heard many doctors comment about patients sharing they have seen complete changes in them and their recovery that they thought was not possible, due to the support of Universal Medicine. I love what you have shared about taking more responsibility for the state our body is in to then be able to make changes to support ourselves- the first key to healing our ill conditions.

  21. Wow Cherise. You remind me that incredible healing is possible for both doctor and patient when we choose to take responsibility for our own dis-ease and express the truth from our hearts.

  22. A real practitioner, medical or complementary, is one who inspires, supports and assists us to heal ourselves; otherwise we are getting fixed at best but never healed.

  23. Inspired by a presentation of Serge Benhayon I am pondering on how much are we ‘willing’ to heal, not just wanting, desiring, hoping or needing to heal or be healed. This includes not just the process when already being sick of suffering a condition but the activity before we even get an ailment, and also not just on a physical level but as well emotionally, our relationships, work attitude etc etc. Just a discussion on the willingness to heal would initiate a change of our health situation worldwide.

  24. ‘I may only see you 80 minutes of every 365 days, but you are the doctor with the knowledge and the medical know-how; this disease that is in my body I do not know how to fix, so please do it for me and ASAP because I have had enough of the sadness that it brings me.’ What a huge burden we place on doctors and the health care system when in a short consultation we expect them to fix our ailments that are usually the end product of our long term lifestyle choices.

  25. Our body is with us 24/7 so why wouldn’t we want to deeply care for it? When we start to show it some love it responds amazingly well. The way you’ve been able to start healing your scars Cherise is testament to this.

  26. How amazing must it be for a doctor to watch someone progress through their life, and especially with people who like you choose to evolve and deepen your self love so that you are able to take more responsibility towards yourself and your medical condition? You can imagine they could write an amazing memoir of ‘what I’ve observed as a doctor’.

    1. It is true Meg, when we bring such clarity and love to people, and in this case a doctor, these people will be presented with someone who is different from the many they meet and shows them another way of living and taking responsibility in life that is not only beneficial for themselves but is there to be shared with everybody they meet.

  27. When we build a relationship with our doctor and/or complementary therapist we work together to heal the scars of how we have been living. I can feel how rewarding this is for a medically trained doctor to know that they are supporting their patient and not burdened by the weight of expectations to ‘fix it’.

  28. It is interesting to read that it is actually the frustration and anger that is withholding us from truly healing what is coming to us, as in your case Cherise, the keloid scarring, all from not appreciating the reading behind it. Actually, we are always asked to look deeper than only the physical pain at hand and that it is not a punishment but a gift from heaven to heal something that is withholding us from true connection to that love that so lovingly lives within.

  29. Opening up and letting ourselves be seen and vulnerable is so transformational Cherise. It’s fascinating to read about the changes you have made to the way you see yourself and how the pain from your scars has considerably lessened. When we change the relationship we have with ourselves it changes everything.

  30. We so often want to fix our problems and find a solution. If we can cover it up, pop a magic pill – great, let’s just carry on with life. But it does nothing to settle the discontent the body and its intelligence is showing us.

  31. That is so inspiring you have established a level of responsibility with your doctor where there was no need for either of you to talk about what the media has been saying about Universal Medicine as you are the living proof of what it is truly about. Truly awesome.

  32. What you are uncovering in this article is so spot on. It is, in my opinion one of the biggest issues we face as a society – a belief system that says” You’re the doctor, it’s your job to fix me” It’s not fair on the doctors or on the patient…. aka us. We know way more than we give ourselves credit for and we have the ability to read what message our bodies are delivering. This means we have the potential to have the best of what Western medicine has to offer along with the right attitude and open approach that is willing to do whatever is needed not only to get well but to live vitally.

  33. Reading what you have shared with us Cherise I can feel the importance of building a relationship with any health practitioner we go to, for that relationship builds the foundation that will support our healing. Walking in their door expecting a quick fix from them and then walking out again ‘cured’ is not at all realistic, we need to take responsibility for our own health and then together with our health practitioner work towards the healing that is being asked for by our body at that moment in time.

  34. A beautiful appreciation Cherise of how for you have come in honouring yourself, taking responsibility for your health and looking after your body.

  35. Thank you Cherise for a beautiful blog on self love and responsibility, working in a loving relationship with your Doctor and taking responsibility to change the hatred of your body into one of acceptance and love which is allowing healing to take place.

  36. If we have a condition, not only do we develop a relationship with the doctor, but also to work on a relationship with the condition and with ourselves. It makes a huge difference.

  37. I never knew there was such a thing as these scars and they do sound painful. I like what this article presents in that even though there was a consistency in seeing one doctor, in actual fact out of a year you didn’t see them much and yet we can at times place enormous pressure on them to deliver and even be critical if they don’t do everything for us in that time. Who spends the most time with us, well we do and in that we can and should be taking an ever deepening care of ourselves as again this article presents. I can see how this then supports anyone to further support you. In relation to how busy everything is getting and how fast things are continuing to move this would be a care well worth taking, after all we are talking about you.

  38. The support of medical practitioners when we are unwell is invaluable and much needed, but when you approach this support with responsibility and understanding that each of us has a great part to play in our own wellbeing, well then you have an opportunity for true healing.

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