by Cherise Holt, Nurse, Australia
For the past five years I have seen a dermatologist. In this time I have had an appointment on average every three months, with each appointment lasting around 20 minutes – so I spend approximately 80 minutes with her every year. What I have found is that no matter which practitioners we see in our life, be they medical or complementary, we create a relationship with them.
When I first saw her, I had been referred by my General Practitioner (GP) for assessment and treatment of keloid scarring on my chest and shoulders. My treatments involved extremely painful cortisone injections into the scars to help decrease the inflammation and pain. Keloid scars are made up of many little nerve endings, and are unlike other scarring which can commonly be numb to the touch. It was the scars on my chest that caused me the most grief and affected me every day.
They appeared on my skin during my early teenage years and as they grew, so did my hatred of them. I despised them. The clothes I wore had to be of the softest material as any scratch or touch was at times unbearable for me. Every outfit I wore was carefully designed to cover and hide them. I often searched the internet in the hope of discovering new medical treatments but I felt disheartened, as a successful and pain-free treatment was difficult to find.
When I first saw my dermatologist I was desperate for a fix for the pain and I would have done anything to not have to look at them ever again; the sight of them, at every glance, completely repulsed me. What I first noticed with my doctor was how her touch to my skin felt so gentle – also how she spoke softly and was always supportive in her words of encouragement. Before each appointment I would feel nervous, as I knew the discomfort I was in for. Although the local anaesthetic gave me an hour or two of relief, I would be in agony with nerve pain for up to 12 hours afterwards, unable to find any comfortable position or even sit still. I can remember my body being in constant motion as I tried to keep my mind off the pain. I felt disheartened, as the first two to three years I would go through the treatment only to have them grow again, not always as bad, but mostly bringing more pain.
Today, after 15 years of these scars and five years of steroid treatment, I went to see my dermatologist for another appointment. For the first time, we didn’t just do the usual chit-chat (how is work going? etc.). Today, with my permission, she brought a medical student in to watch and learn about the treatment of these scars. She shared with him my experience from her point of view, and spoke so highly of my ability to cope so well with what she described as a painful and unfair medical condition (with no real known cause) over the years. She spoke of the sadness there is seeing people who permanently ink their chests with tattoos, and here I was with these permanent markings I hadn’t asked for.
It was here that I opened up to share with her my own experience. What I feel is, people can take their medical conditions, illness and diseases to their doctors and say, ‘Here is a part of me, please fix it! I may only see you 80 minutes of every 365 days, but you are the doctor with the knowledge and the medical know-how; this disease that is in my body I do not know how to fix, so please do it for me and ASAP because I have had enough of the sadness that it brings me.’
When I shared with my doctor that in the last two years I had been working on self-love, she didn’t hesitate to nod her head in agreement, confirming how much she had noticed this. I told her how through this I discovered that I could work with her in the treatment of my scars. It is not for me to say, ‘here are my scars, please fix them’. As I had previously hated them, I am now learning to love them – they are a part of me, and as I am learning to love ALL of me, then of course they are there to love, too. It amazes me that for so long she was dedicated in the application of her medical expertise to help heal my body, yet I was taking no responsibility for the treatment of this same body – my own. Her gentle hands and medicine were doing battle with the anger and self-hatred (self-abuse) that I was in.
We are all capable of making the choice to heal ourselves: our bodies are our own responsibility, so why wouldn’t we want to treat them with the utmost respect and an endless amount of love?!* In the past two years my scars have dramatically changed and are far less painful, most times now I forget they are there. I recall a time I had only dreamed that this may one day be the case. The physical pain has eased and I am still working on the deep inner pain that I have experienced with them: the self-abuse and punishment of my body that I had once allowed and accepted… and how I had chosen to hide them (and me) away from the world.
When my doctor asked what support I had received in achieving this new level of self-love, I told her how I have been inspired by the practitioners I see for modalities such as Esoteric Chakra-puncture, and that I have completed some healing courses with Universal Medicine. Although she mentioned she had heard of Universal Medicine, I felt no need to know if she had seen the sensationalised media reports of late, spreading complete untruths about the very people who have inspired me to make such loving and responsible changes in my life and in my body. These people are my practitioners and Serge Benhayon: I have created relationships with them also.
Instead what I felt was: she knows me – and we have a relationship that dispels any untruth that can ever be spoken or printed. Our doctor-patient connection has been more than just that, it has been woman-to-woman, person-to-person. I have been deeply inspired by her gentle ways for many years – and she has observed me blossom into a self-nurturing woman.
*For those further interested in a discussion on this topic, please see Eunice Minford’s article at Medicine and Serge Benhayon, Illness and Disease are Healing
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Yes, when we take responsibility for our health and well-being we assist the doctors and medical professionals, and so help to reduce their pressures.
This shows so clearly that the patient doctor relationship is a partnership where the patient takes equal responsibility for the way they treat their own body.
She sounds like a wonderfull doctor and I agree, yes while medical professionals are there to help it is what responsibility are we are taking to love and care for our own body consistently so.
Very much Vicky, we are responsible for our health and well-being, and by taking this responsibility we can work harmoniously with doctors, and potentially allow healing where never before expected.
This is beautiful to experience when we get to a point of realisation that we ourselves do the healing for our bodies by deeper caring for ourselves.
I agree Mary, this is a blog that if we support our body and learn to love it, instead of abusing it, our perception of healing comes from a depth of understanding and we embrace the condition.
I can certainly concur about the thinking the body was letting me down, when it was me that was letting it down all along – here is my admission.
Our body has so much wisdom, when we listen to and honour that wisdom, magic can happen.
Isn’t it interesting that we spend most of our lives having an expectation, ‘here is a part of me, please fix it’ when we visit our GP’s or any medical profession. When once we know what we are doing to ourselves, or how we are living, has an affect on our wellbeing, then we live from an understanding.
I too used to have my regular illnesses and ailments and visiting my GP and wanted to be fixed. When my body was really asking to be rested, and treated with more respect.
I could not agree with you more Cherise, since my experience with Universal Medicine courses, healing modalities etc, has my life changed, as well as to how I receive any ailment or pain I may experience.
I am forever grateful to Serge Benhayon and it could easily have been someone else. I have never looked back since and will continue to live my life with more responsibility, it is that simple.
Finding the energetic cause of our ills has such an amazing effect on how we heal so when we apply the Universal Medicine model with conventional medicine True healing opens up to us and usually it is a simple process of working with both.
It is always essential to look at, and address the energetic component of any illness or disease.
Absoulutely Lorraine, our divine Will will always address the energetic side of our illness first.
“We are all capable of making the choice to heal ourselves: our bodies are our own responsibility, so why wouldn’t we want to treat them with the utmost respect and an endless amount of love?!” – so true. Doctors and medicines can offer tremendous support in dealing with illness and disease, but we ourselves are the very much needed part in our own healing.
Absolutely Fumiyo, we are an essential part in our own healing, simply taking steps to bring nurturing, caring, and self-love to our lives and bodies makes a huge difference.
Cherise this is such a support blog for all of us who have a problem loving our bodies and or loving ourselves. Your honesty in saying that you took no care of yourself and the anger you felt towards your body almost for letting you down. How many of us share those same feelings?
Absolutely Mary and it is being honest with and addressing this to the point where we can actually love and appreciate ourselves and our body where true healing begins.
No one knows us better than ourselves, therefore the best person, with the support of doctors and other practitioners when and where appropriate, to heal us is ourselves.
It is only when we start to love ourselves that can we find true healing. If we dislike, or even hate ourselves, or our bodily conditions, and we abuse our body, we are in conflict with our body while it is doing everything it can to function at its optimum and minimise the damage and whatever it has to deal with as a consequences of our choices. When we love ourselves we make loving choices which then supports the body rather than being in conflict with it.
It is only when we start to love ourselves that we can find truly healing. If we dislike, or even hate ourselves, our bodily conditions and abuse our body, we are in conflict with our body while it is doing everything it can to function at its optimum and minimise the damage whatever it has to deal with as a consequences of our choices. When we love ourselves we make loving choices which then support the body, rather than being in conflict with it.
Hating our conditions guarantee not healing them.
This is where the doctor can learn from the patient, where the doctor (or any health professional) can be inspired by the person they are treating. It’s not all a one way street. Any doctor can very easily see the difference that more self loving choices make in a person, and no doctor would say don’t do that, because it clearly makes an enormous difference, not only to the wellbeing of the patient, but also the doctor. Because they are literally now working with a patient who is taking responsibility and meeting them half way. This would be completely rewarding for a doctor to work with a patient in such a way.
I agree, working with a patient who is taking responsibility for their own health, who is being caring, loving and nurturing is a much more harmonious experience for the health professional.
Do we allow ourselves to be aware of just how much others actually do observe about us?
The way we live our lives shows the world what in truth we are all about. No need to convince, and try to persuade – we ourselves are the living proof.
The more we love ourselves, the more we heal our life. This is just amazing…
The more we love ourselves the more we then naturally love other people.
We do have a hand, an important hand in our healing and when we do come with that attitude to our doctor, there is the possibility to cooperatively heal what is underneath and what the illness or disease is physically expressing.
“Doctor please heal me” is nowadays often said completely different too, as doctor you have to heal me. Both expressions come from the same energy of being irresponsible for our own health and well-being. A way of behaving that comes from the unwillingness to return to the power we all have within ourselves, the power to heal all that does not belong to our bodies, and equally to the earth we live on.
The relationship we have with our doctor is fundamental to our healing process. The more transparent we are willing to be the better and if we feel the doctor is not on our wavelength or is in any way incompetent it is important to communicate this and ask to see another person. I have done this myself and it means I welcome and look forward to my visits to the doctor and do not hold back from sharing anything with him.
Instead of being the consumer of our health care system, we can become part of it and hold the people in the system equally responsible for bringing their part.
It sounds like you had a lovely doctor to help care for you and that you developed a lovely connection. Great teamwork.
This is an amazing account of your relationship to your doctor and condition Cherise. Everything has an impact, and our choices ‘outside’ of our illness or disease, as in how we live our daily life and our approach to self care, relationships and so forth, all have an impact on our health and wellbeing as evidenced by what you’ve shared.
It feels like an important part of the puzzle was learning to love all of you – including your scars. So often we leave bits of ourselves out when we choose to up the love, but the true magic is loving each and every part of ourselves. Inspiring stuff!
Such a great question – “our bodies are our own responsibility, so why wouldn’t we want to treat them with the utmost respect and an endless amount of love?!” Yes, it does make sense to deeply love and care for our body, the amazing vessel that carries us through life, but for some, often inexplicable reason, many of us don’t. I know that I didn’t. I fed it, washed it, put it to bed at night etc, but in between I fed it foods it couldn’t deal with, drink that made it sick and pushed it harder than it needed to go; and then I wondered why it often struggled to get through the day, and was unwell on a regular basis. At those times all I wanted was the quick fix, but that was only ever temporary. It was only when I began to honour my body, to take responsibility for it, to treat it with love and care and to listen to its messages that things began to change.
We are so much more powerful in our own healing than we may think we are. As with going to your doctor and saying ‘here is a part of me, please fix it! we are giving our power away and in a very arrogant way too.
Life is about relationships and if we one day will understand the blessing of these we will use the relationships we have to work together in building and sharing the love that we all are from instead of using these relationships for our own gain and only to make ourselves to feel better.
Relationships are in all of our lives, why not choose ones that are enriching and harmonious if possible; Cherise’s relationship with her doctor was very beautiful and supportive for both people concerned.
Doctors see first hand the devastating effects of illness, disease and all manner of health conditions. They may do well at treatment and management, but do struggle with how do you help someone live well with them? This is not something discussed very much at all in health care. What we have here is a blue print for living well, feeling well and growing our own self love through our self-loving choices, no matter with whatever the ailment that affects the body. This shows that our sense of worth in who we are, does not have to be influenced or affected by what our body is going through.
“We are all capable of making the choice to heal ourselves: our bodies are our own responsibility, so why wouldn’t we want to treat them with the utmost respect and an endless amount of love?” – such a wise question to ask, and one there is much to ponder on in terms of our own resistance to something that is so beautiful to embrace. The seeming eternal struggle.
When we have a condition, we just want relief from it. What we search for are solutions, instead of establishing a relationship with the condition based on understanding where it comes from, and steering both to a different point so the condition no longer makes sense.
I find it so revealing, if we are willing to learn and evolve, that when we ‘hate’ something, in fact, within it there is a reflection of something for us to heal.