For Men Only (unless you’re a woman)

by Rod Harvey, Gold Coast, Australia

Back in the 60’s, when Bob Dylan was singing ‘The Times They Are A Changing’, the Women’s Liberation Movement was born and rapidly grew in the 70’s and 80’s throughout the western world.

Men watched on as women feminists fought for equality, with some feminists choosing to burn their bras to signify their independence. And what affect did that have on men? We loved it! Nothing like a bra-less woman to stretch the eyeballs.

The revolution brought gradual changes as women fought against oppression and became more independent. We saw gradual increases in women’s wages and sexual freedom, more women in corporate and political positions and sex discrimination became a hot topic.

There was an edge to it, a drive and, dare I say it, many women ‘toughened up’ to compete against men. But there was a fundamental flaw because the revolution alienated men, which is why there hasn’t been a significant change in men’s attitudes. And to this day, the subtle (and at times not so subtle) denigration of women continues.

All around us the signals are obvious: advertising agencies still continue to portray women as sluts to sell products; the major religions are still patriarchal and treat women as second class citizens; the ‘old boys’ clubs still exist in the majority of boardrooms; we see sly inferences and biased reporting about women in media articles (as well as the more obvious page 3 girls to perve on) and we hear snide remarks about women from politicians, workmates and talk-back jocks.

We don’t have to dig deep to sense the tone of what is going on. Observe how men speak to women; the behaviour of many young men when they are with their girlfriends in a group of people; and the accepted norm of how boys treat girls at primary and secondary schools. For many, if not most, respect has flown out the window.

Yet many women are inadvertently not helping the situation.

After all, have you ever heard a woman make comments similar to these?

“Wait ‘til your father comes home.”

“Shhh… your father is sleeping in.”

“Oh he gets angry, but he’s under so much stress.”

“My husband’s a solicitor.”

“A boob job will give me more self-confidence.”

“I look hot in this dress.”

“Every relationship has its problems.”

“It’s not worth the hassle to bring it up – who needs the aggro.”

“I’m too old to find someone else.”

“The magic has gone.”

“Whenever he does jobs around the house he wants sex later.”

“I just wish he would hug me without wanting sex.”

Many women have given their power away and men take advantage. Then, when the woman says ‘enough is enough’, men receive mixed messages and get confused. We need open and honest communication.

So why has it taken so long for me to really feel what is going on?

Recently a group of female Universal Medicine students began to write about the belittlement of women in the media and society. Yet they did so in a different energy to that which we have previously witnessed. This time it was done by women expressing from a foundation of love while standing in their power and there is something beautiful and compelling about that.

Love is what men will respond to, as was expressed so eloquently in Lee Green’s recent post ‘Men: what mess are we truly in?’ 

Love will open up men to consider their responsibilities in all of this mess and this has made a huge difference for me.

And once my awareness was heightened, I felt deeply into how I had contributed to this crazy consciousness of separation between women and men. Don’t kid yourself that it’s not there – I suggest that all men have played their part.

I then began to pay more attention to what was happening around me, and the signals that I hadn’t really acknowledged before were as obvious as XXXL scrotums on a Great Dane.

Just yesterday I noticed…

  • An online ad on a website that appeared to be for a high-class brothel with introductory photos of women, then as the ad progressed, it turned out to be for the new QT Hotel in Sydney.
  • Headlines on women’s magazines focusing on diets and women’s body images. ‘New Idea’ and ‘The Women’s Weekly’ used to contain reasonable articles – now it’s about looks and celebrity.
  • The Gold Coast Bulletin had a half page article about two women who have started a business to provide tours for ladies who want to have cosmetic surgery in Thailand. Another article had a photo of a female body builder in a micro-bikini ‘pumping iron’.
  • And last week, Queensland Premier Campbell Newman said Opposition Member Jackie Trad needs to “harden up” and failed to censure fellow Member of Parliament, Ray Stevens, for referring to Ms Trad as “Jihad Jackie”.

So I wrote to the Queensland Premier. A day later I also signed and commented on an online petition to ‘encourage’ the UK’s Sun newspaper to drop their topless page 3 girls. And in future I won’t hold back in discussing these issues with other men and my sons.

I’m not here to be an activist, or to defend women (they can do a good job of that for themselves). But I am now convinced that if we are to accelerate serious change, then men’s support is crucial. Let’s be in it together.

Men, we have much to account for. This is not about paying lip service to women. It’s about reflecting and deeply feeling how each of us has contributed to this pervading consciousness. And with that awareness we will naturally know what to do and say.

By truly engaging with women we’ll discover their essence and how feminine, sexy, playful, loving and amazing they are. How could we possibly belittle that?

The times they are a changing…

460 thoughts on “For Men Only (unless you’re a woman)

  1. In our essence we are all equal and the same, when we connect to our Soul it is the One Soul that calls for us to be in harmony with the All.

  2. What we are doing on both sides of the fence between men and women, doesn’t stop with gender. Religion, skin colour, country and down to groups, we are instilling separation. As Albert said; the world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing. The more we express what is not the truth, we are sending ripples on the pond.

  3. I love your humour in the title. Something both men and women should read and discuss; to me what this shows it 1. it is eons old and 2. we have not got to the true root of this which I guess is innately we are all equal. It seems we have a lot to unpack, unfold, heal and clear though if we look at society on the whole and what we have accepted which really should not be acceptable at all.

  4. This just goes to show that when we truly, as an all, do not address the ill root cause of the problem, the energetic root, then absolutely nothing changes, it just might ‘look’ different.

  5. To bring about change requires us all working together as one, which we are, honouring our unique qualities.

  6. There was a statement I homed in on, ‘love will open up men to consider their responsibilities’ and I pondered on this and my relationship in particularly with the two men I have lived with in my life and how the two relationships differed. The first was purely emotional love and in that, I was hurt and couldn’t fathom, that if I was loved then why I,
    a. allowed myself to be treated like that and
    b. hurt if you say you love me and do something or say the opposite.

    With the second and current partner, I feel a deep sense of love between us and all it takes is for me to stay steady within myself when he is not himself.

    This love is just there, and doesn’t waiver when we are on or when we are off – simple.

  7. Respecting and honouring one another is truly beautiful. It allows us to grow so more wonderful qualities then emerge. If we judge or belittle one another, even when atrocious crimes are committed, then we stunt the growth that can occur and we stay in the reduced version of who we are, we only recognise ourselves in being in conflict with one another.

  8. How lost we are as a species when the true essence of women is denied its expression. True power is already in us, women and men. We have fought and gone all the way out, only to find ourselves even more lost.

    1. Yes, it is ironic – we went searching for our identity, our truth and essence, yet all while all that we have been searching for has been, and is, within us all the time. No need to go searching, instead it is to go within and to let the inside out.

      1. We are made up of the Body of Life. It’s Body is our Body and so all we have to do is to let go of all the superfluous rubbish that we take on and eventually we will find ourselves in the pristine condition of our childhood. Such a simple yet miraculous process and one that is largely unknown, or rather largely consciously known because we can’t, but all know it because WE ARE the Living Body of Life, that is who we all are.

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