212 thoughts on “My Ex-Partner – Chocolate”

1. Great to read about your change Heidi. Makes me inspired to look at one certain thing I’m eating right now quite excessively, so thanks.

2. When we recognize, accept and honour what is behind the behaviours we are stuck with, we have a true choice and chance to change them, otherwise we try to improve ourselves away from the issue, or simply give up on ourselves as we feel to not have what it takes, ie. confirming the disempowerment over and over again. Eventually we realize that it is a set up in order to avoid responsibility and embracing our natural power.

3. Isn´t it astonishing how we seemingly can have the most intimate relationship with something that has not an ounce of intimacy in it, which is exactly why we choose it to be our ‘partner’ or ‘best friend’ like food, cigarettes, alcohol, books or tv shows or else – they don´t hurt and comfort us although we hurt ourselves by using such means.

4. There is always a reason, no matter how crazy a behaviour might look from the outside; and we put up with a lot when it comes to our compulsions, from bad skin to weight gain to feeling miserable about the apparent lack of willpower. But willpower only goes so far and mainly not very far at all – only when we understand the root cause, can healing take place.

5. Great blog Heidi about something I am sure many of us could relate to. It is interesting to consider that many of our addictions to things may have an underlying cause so that if we look at that and heal that it makes sense that this would make it easier to undo the addiction.

6. Incredible that you were able to make such significant changes to your life Heidi, as a result of understanding why you craved chocolate that enabled you to then give it up. It is precisely for reasons such as these that people continue to attend presentations/workshops/courses of Universal Medicine because of the depth of understanding and divine wisdom that is offered about all aspects of life on both a physical and energetic level.

7. I love the honesty and the humour in this blog. A very real account of your own personal experience. How amazing that you felt such a difference in your Mum, and how amazing that you felt inspired enough to be open to healing yourself. This shows the power of living what we know.

8. Love what you’ve shared here about the massive revelation actually being really, really simple. We make giving up things that we know don’t work for us so difficult and complicated, because it comes from our heads and just wanting to give up the thing, instead of looking at why we do that thing in the first place. When we make it about the body, and are ready to feel why we crave or want certain things so much, and the effect on our body, it becomes much easier to let go of them.

9. ‘the whole way I was living contributed to needing certain foods’ and that’s the thing how we are with ourselves in how we move, in everything in how we treat ourselves means we reach for various foods, it’s never truly the food, that’s our end point. And the approach here works, I’ve tried it, to experiment with how you feel with food (not just how it tastes) and then notice why and when you reach for that certain food. It is indeed life changing.

10. It is not that Universal Medicine is doing the miracles but boy of boy does it inspire us to do our own miracles, i.e. understanding, accepting and supporing oneself to make choices that are harmonious with our true being and body. Naturally this shows in health and well-being, a loving way of being with oneself and others – not in an instant or with any perfection, but as a consistent willingness and unfolding process by one’s own choice and doing.

11. Using ‘chocolate as a form of connection or love ‘ is common, and was something I experienced too, at boarding school. We were allowed 4 sweets after lunch every day and for six years that set in a habit. I still get cravings for something sweet – and it’s always after lunch. If I don’t eat lunch it’s not there! Deepening my self love reduces the craving.

12. Chocolate is super addictive, and I am so amazed at how you were able to brake away from this, but with a completely different angle from anything else I have heard about. Because you actually dealt with your emotional issues and put a stop to them controlling your ability to let love in.

13. ‘I don’t eat food in search of an amazing taste; it’s more about feeling what I can eat that allows my body to feel just as lovely as before I’ve eaten’. Oh this is a work in progress for me. So many times I feel this lightness and spacious from within, then I eat something or I have overeaten, and afterwards I feel dulled down. For me, I guess it is about fully accepting that I can feel this amazing all of the time!

14. I so enjoyed re-reading your blog Heidi. When we connect with the truth of why we are doing what we are doing it is much easier to let it go and develop more supportive ways of living.

15. The acceptance of myself in where I am at, totally real and honest, opens up ways to see deeper what is really going on. There is no judgement in how I am, nor that I have to be away from where I am now, but if awareness comes naturally from inside of my body, it will be there to stay.

16. We are not addicted to the substance per se, we are addicted to the vibration it offers us that will not go anywhere near the alternate vibration on offer that leads us back to the truth of who we are.

17. Where you are now Heidi is so much more than what the chocolate ever gave you. Its no wonder you no longer even need the chocolate.

18. Gold anecdotal evidence Heidi!! This line really hits home for me — “So my focus was no longer on cutting out chocolate. It was more about how I interacted with people and how I treated myself.” I have not eaten chocolate for a long time but I eat macadamia nuts in a way to dull down my awareness — I clearly know I should not. Then, I carelessly focus on and am disappointed that I have had the craving again and, also, “I am eating nuts again”. Time and time again this could be a moment that I can go deeper with being heavenly with myself instead of bing hard on myself. I could to do this by truly honouring my body in full and allow my actions and movements to be as heavenly and more at that moment. Be in a state of appreciation and confirmation and share intimately with myself: instead of rewarding myself with nuts, I can reward myself with the love and care I have always required.

19. What brings us comfort is not always something really comfy physically. Comfort is first and foremost energetic.

20. To use one’s mind to control things does not work, it is only when one understands the underlying reason do things change. For me the key to truly understand the reason comes, as you share Heidi, when you feel it in your body, for as we know ‘the body is the marker of all truth’.

21. It is very beautiful when we can hear the body’s intelligence louder and clearer and how it is more powerful than the mind’s reasoning and conviction. And I agree, when the talk is walked it communicates much much more.

22. It was spot on what you shared about the connection you have made between chocolate and the attempt to show love. I also grew up with this kind of ‘love’ which was more like reward for being good. This imprint lasts well into adulthood unless you re-discover the greatest reward possible – love from within.

23. A very powerful recipe for addiction or behaviour we don’t fully control: Increase our awareness until we have a choice.

24. A delightful read, thank you Heidi. You touched on something quite profound and also pervasive in society – that we make the same harmful decisions over and over despite our will power and intent to change, and that for you the change came when you truly understood yourself. Your experience with your grandparents feeding you chocolate makes sense that you tried to recreate feeling adored and loved through eating chocolate. Lots of people reach for food for this same reason, as being fed and cooked for can bring a sense of being cared for, valued and loved. Also, that the realisation came from within you and felt as a truth was a big part of this healing process. That is so true of Serge Benhayon presentations and workshops as he provides support, an environment, and tools for us to heal ourselves.

25. When our movements reflect that which is of truth, our bodies naturally reconfigure to the natural shape that emanates all of who we are.

26. While we are in the momentum of reacting to life we can try whatever we like in adjusting our lifestyle and way of eating. But until we do recognise that we are lived by our emotions and start to heal the hurts underneath, we just will fall into the same behaviour over and over again.

    1. It is so true, Nico, we believe we are free thinkers but it is not true – we are lived by emotions.

    2. Very true Nico. Our behaviours are in direct link to our emotions and what we have not let go of and healed.

       1. We can see chocolate as the medicine for the emotional hurt, and in a way it is, and that is when we look from a temporal level when we are looking for a cure. It will momentarily help to alleviate the pain, but in the long term we will only grow fat and not heal the underlying hurt that we try to hide by the emotion that will continue to drive us.

27. It does not matter how many times I read this blog, as each time I feel a deep joy within me that such change is not only possible, it is very very simple, practical and common sensical.

    1. Yes, and this approach to change can be repeated as needed – many times.

28. Your approach is very inspiring Heidi, it gets to the root of why we eat as we do, and to consider that it’s about all of how we are and live and to understand that and begin to consider how we live and are with ourselves without the emphasis on giving anything up or cutting anything out per say but seeing how we are with it. So you’ve inspired me to consider how I’m being at work which has me reaching for that mid afternoon snack and looking at the bigger wider picture here, and being openly curious with it all. Thank you.

29. It’s great to return to articles like this that seem to bring more to you each time you read them. While this one has it’s feet in chocolate you can turn this quality of approach to anything. The thing that comes with reading this today is that we don’t try and give up something because it’s bad for us or we have been told too, as we have seen this just at some point leads back to the same place. We need to look deeper at things and not just at the end result. So in this article chocolate was linked to a childhood experience that once understood you could see the end result in a different light. So it starts by asking some deeper questions and not just trying to give up the behaviour.

30. I have also found for me that if I try and stop eating something out of discipline or so called ‘will power’ without looking at the underlying emotional reasons why I am seeking or craving that food in the first place, it never works.

31. ‘…I was able to feel that the whole way I was living contributed to needing certain foods.’ When we understand this we can change the way we eat without making it into a diet, a set of rules to follow (what I have done in the past). it is our body that speaks to us we learn to listen to and simply make the changes that are asked for.

32. Nominating about our food choices and how it makes us feel is a simple but extremely powerful process, who would have thought, but boy oh boy, the changes that come naturally from these awarenesses are absolutely life changing.

33. Cool blog, makes so much sense.This blog shows the truth………. imposing doesn’t work on people, we just have to live it for ourselves and they will feel the reflection and feel it for themselves.

    1. Jody this is such an important point, that we don’t impose on others or tell them what to do, just let them feel it for themselves as we get on with living the love we each are.

34. Great blog Heidi, I am still occasionally drawn to eat something I know is not good for me, and I am getting better at catching myself before I actually eat it, however I have to work out what it was in the first place that made me want to eat that particular food.

35. I used to tell myself that being bloated was a sign my body wanted something else to eat.’Oh how wrong I was!’. And I can so relate to your sharing about having a body free of stimulants like coffee, alcohol and sugar. In fact I was appreciating the fact yesterday, aware of how much more I can feel and sense today than in the past. It’s a revelation. Great sharing Heidi, thank you.

36. ‘the whole way I was living contributed to needing certain foods’ … this resonates deeply Heidi especially as I’m looking at what I eat and why and right now feeling the effects of my food choices; and your comment about not eating for taste is interesting as I can feel how in fact I do and that is telling when I do, as I can often find later that my body suffers from that food choice. Eating to support is very different and asks that I do not use food a prop in any way but just as sustenance and support for my body and my life, this is something to explore.

37. Heidi I saw chocolate as a reward for working hard, I deserved it and when my body was making different choices, from time to time I observed the cravings. The need for sweet things was because I was exhausted, or needed that comfort when anxiousness arose and I didn’t want to face what was coming up for me.

    Now I’m more aware and cannot recall the last time I ate chocolates and in all honesty chocolate is in our faces as we go to check out at the supermarkets, its in the cinemas, adverts, hospitals, it’s every where except my home.

    Amazing once we address the hidden reason for an addiction, it no longer has a hold of you.

    1. Same with me Shushila, I see chocolates everywhere but not in our home. But what does this tell about our societies that many people are in need of having to eat so much chocolate? Could it be that people are craving love, and mostly to be in love with themselves, that is making them to go for chocolate over and over again?

38. Focusing on giving up things doesn’t work for most – but confirming that those patterns are not who we are does work as it separates us from the issue and gives space to feel the truth of who we are and what doesn’t belong to that.

39. Heidi I agree this is beautiful anecdotal evidence you have shared here, I am sure many of us can relate to similar addictions and how we have been able to heal them with the support of Universal Medicine as well. Letting go of these addictions feels challenging at the time but eventually we begin to feel the many rewards that these loving choices can bring us.

40. Thank you Heidi, what an inspiration you are . I still find that I am tempted to eat foods that are not great for my body. Usually when I am by myself or after my evening meal there seems to be a little niggle for something sweet! Time to look deeper at why!

41. What you share here is so helpful Heidi – thank you! I know for myself that when I allow myself to take a step back and observe what it is that I’m really craving that it helps me get more clarity on what’s going on within me and to change how I approach food…

42. The chocolate business wouldn’t enjoy this story and it’s funny how we link a food to an emotion like this. I wouldn’t have believed it unless I saw it myself and then I realised the signs were all around me it was just I couldn’t see them. It’s a great feeling to let go of anything that clouds or blinds us and there are definitely foods you can link to this but to look behind the food and see why the choice is there is a place few go. This story gives us an insight into what goes on and we think we just reach for something when in fact there are many choices leading us directly to the same place. When does it end? It ends when you make the choice for it to be that way.

43. It is a bit like choosing a frequency and relating to others who are also in a frequency. You know what to expect from others and you know what is that you need to keep your frequency choice going. Yet, suddenly someone changes frequency and what you could expect is no longer there. A totally different frequency. Interesting that at that stage we keep relating with the person who changed frequency pretty much according to the old pattern (hence being annoyed by the new one) until at some point we feel into it and realise that there is no reason to keep the old pattern going and that what you use in order to keep going is not good either. Time to check whether the frequency you have chosen really does it for you or not. Universal Medicine is a great help to change frequencies and choosing higher ones.

44. Hi Heidi, your present partner beats all the chocolate in the world and he is the bonus that came from you choosing you over chocolate and what a great choice that was!

45. ‘In the past I had used my mind to try and control my eating habits without understanding the underlying reason for my reliance on it. So, whenever I had tried to make a change it was always fraught with relapses, mentally psyching myself up to try again, coupled with a berating inner voice adamantly stating I wasn’t strong enough to make permanent, positive changes.’

    Oh gosh I hear you Heidi! You’ve described the sad, circular story of addiction very well. At least feeling that tension can evoke the steps to make a positive change. Either that, or one has to pretty much kill oneself – quickly or slowly depending on the habit – through excess.

46. Re your sofa-diving experience Heidi – it’s true – open the door to a bad habit before we’ve truly addressed what’s behind it, and it opens a flood gate of cravings that just HAVE to be satisfied. And so the cycle begins again, until we have the wherewithal to arrest the ill momentum by nominating and healing what lies behind it.

47. Thank you Heidi for a very honest and inspiring sharing of the changes you have made in your life by listening to and feeling your body, it is quite amazing how our habits can change naturally as a consequence of making self loving choices.

48. There is a ginormous difference in the quality of energy between preaching and creating rules to actually focusing on within and living from our essence and the truth is we know exactly which quality we are in, in that moment. For there to be no energetic rules or controlling behaviours there has to be a lived connection to self, to a stillness within and this has to come from first developing and then consistently living without perfection a loving relationship with self.

    1. Yes Caroline, our reflection is far more powerful and inspiring to another than any words we could say.

    2. I feel that when we preach or tell others what to do we are coming from a place that is superior and says “you don’t know what I know” and we may be invested in that person changing. However the reflection of how we lovingly live in connection to the soul communicates so much more, and nothing needs to be said verbally as we are all equal and all equally know and can feel the truth.

       1. Beautiful said Melinda, I agree there is certainly an element of superiority, an arrogance, a harshness, a need for control etc which is very imposing. What I am learning big time is not to react but see the energy for what it is and respond lovingly.

49. Chocolate, is a real hussy, I can’t believe he’s your x-partner? Because I dated him too for ages. My relationship with him was extremely intense over the years, hahaha.
    To give you a bit of a background I have always been a bit of a sweet tooth and since opening my own café it has been extremely challenging for me to have any control over my “addiction” I would begin my day with a choc cranberries mini bite cake at 7am in the morning and by 7.10 I would have had a choc granola too. Eating chocolate for breakfast every morning was starting to embarrass me and was leaving me with a very low self esteem, not to mention extreme allergies. So it was time I did a little experiment, I decided that I would cut out all the chocolate. What was interesting was that I allowed myself to have any other cakes I wanted, carrot, orange but I didn’t crave them at all, you see all I wanted was the chocolate, this in itself was awesome because I thought I was just addicted to sugar but it was the creaminess that I craved. I started going for creamy things to try and make me feel the comfort I use to get from chocolate, I then decided to cut out all that creamy things and see how I felt. Interestingly I never craved anything unless it had, cream or chocolate, so I was finally free!

50. When we make loving choices and make true changes in our life we naturally inspire others, especially people close to us. When you saw the amazing changes in your mum, that must have been deeply inspiring for you. This was how I was inspired too when I saw incredible changes in a close friend of mine who was glowing from head to toe after attending a Universal Medicine course.

51. It feels so amazing how you naturally made these changes in your life simply by taking a deeply honest and loving approach to how you were living and what you were choosing. There was no one forcing you to make these changes and you did not go out to fix your life so to speak. You simply brought honesty and with it healing to the fore and the changes happened naturally!

52. So true Heidi, Universal Medicine offers a different angle to look at everything and in this way we can understand the underlying cause of the many ways we allow our mind to misinterpret what our body is telling us.

53. I love the simplicity you bring to the fore that life is/can be. Our daily life is not rocket science it is just allowing ourselves to stay and be loving with ourselves and things will unfold quite naturally. Step by step, breath by breath.

54. We sometimes like the idea of something far more than we actually like it in truth. Having something like chocolate in our back pocket to look forward to, or resort to takes the edge off being honest about our day and how we are feeling. It’s easy to not deal with something when you have a sweetener offering momentary relief – even if it means needing to eat it constantly!

    1. This is so true, I often think that I love something but then after I have eaten it I feel emotional and flat and can’t digest it properly. My body tells me one thing but my head tells me something entirely different that is often driven by emotions on some level.

       1. I get that too MW, it feels like my mind is often working against my body. When I connect more to my body my mind seems to settle and food cravings don’t seem to come. But when I move throughout my day disconnected to my body my thoughts can run wild.

55. This is just gorgeous Heidi, I love your approach here an open questioning and the understanding you came to ‘the whole way I was living contributed to needing certain foods …. It was more about how I interacted with people and how I treated myself.’ is so pertinent to read just now as I’m feeling how I’m eating just now and realising that in fact it’s about how I live and the food comes at the end of that. I’ve heard that before but somehow it’s with me on a different level and I’m now starting to feel what exactly it would be to eat in a way that allows me to feel my own loveliness and not just have a good taste in my mouth and then a heaviness after. Your blog is inspiring me to play with this, thank you.

56. You have pointed out a major revelation when it comes to food, one that Serge Benhayon has presented on many times. In order to stop a certain behaviour we need to go to the core of why we are choosing it and what we are getting out of it.

57. This is such a lovely story about your experience with Universal Medicine, I love the honesty you write with and the way you describe your initial reactions to Universal Medicine. Understanding why we choose certain behaviours is the key to learning how to change them.

58. In the emotional world that we live in all of our food cravings are to comfort and allay (or delay) feeling the emotional stuff we just want to bury and not feel. That is why when we don’t satisfy a particular craving we feel raw and exposed and get agitated just like any addict who needs their fix.

59. When we, like with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, are re-introduced to a way of living where there is no need to dull that delicateness and instant knowing we find in the body the food cravings will decrease as will many of the industries producing them with it.

60. What a refreshing read Heidi, I love your honesty and humour. I too, like your Mum, shoved a lot of rules onto my children about what I had come to realise for myself and thought that it would be great if they changed too. I see know how detrimental this was to them feeling from their own bodies and making changes. I love now, how simple it is when my body gives me very obvious signs after eating… and then the choice to eat it again or not is very clear.

61. This is a great example of how we can use food to not deal with our stuff, and use it to fall back on when things are coming up for us to look at. In my experience I have found that if I successfully cut something out of my diet but do not deal with the underlying hurt, then I will move onto another food product but tell myself it is healthy, but in actual fact it is still medicating the hurt feelings.

62. I love this blog and how Heidi’s choice to “deal with the emotional stuff” clears the way for changes, that are no longer hard, but gracefully accepted and celebrated.

63. What you say about reaching for chocolate as a substitute form of love or connection doesn’t sound crazy to me! I can totally relate to using food (and chocolate used to be a real weakness for me) as a cover up for not feeling connected or feeling my own love or to just not feel something that I don’t want to! Having a deeper understanding and awareness of why I’m going for food has helped me change my diet to be much more supportive, it’s a work in progress still but the changes have been huge and I know I’ve been massively supported by presentations from Serge Benhayon.

64. Thank you Heidi. I have yet to break up with chocolate even though I know it is a very dysfunctional relationship. You remind me to look deeper and feel why I continue to poison myself.

65. Chocolate was also my best friend for a few decades. I can testify to the fact that using will power to control things I have been addicted to has never worked in the long term. Its an exhausting game we play with ourselves that actually keeps us in the addiction cycle. getting to the root of the addiction, ‘the why,’ is what has resulted in long term success. Healing the underlying hurts has led to certain craving and dependencies simply falling away.

66. I agree Heidi this is beautiful anecdotal evidence that clearly shows that loving choices truly work and help us to build a solid foundation where any behaviour or pattern that is harming to us simply becomes a lot easier to let go of.

67. I love what you have said here Heidi about the changes you have made in your life. Knowing Serge Benhayon is life changing.

68. Appreciation for Serge Benhayon and also appreciation for you Heidi for committing to making the changes and then making them. It can be so easy to see and understanding that living in a self-loving and caring way makes sense – it’s common sense – but to apply it consistently involves a true commitment and willingness to change, to evolve, and is to be hugely appreciated.

69. Reading your blog has given me a real moment of appreciation for all Serge Benhayon has inspired in so many people. He has such a simple approach too, and one that empowers each person to make their own choices and feel the results, to continue experimenting and building a more loving life. Congratulations on all the wonderful changes you have made.

70. Thank you Heidi, for sharing how through your connection to your body and to who you truly are, you were able to overcome the addiction to sweets. It is all about this connection first otherwise we are always looking for the next vise to fill the emptiness for not being ourselves.

71. Dear Heidi,
    I loved reading about how you found your Mum had changed in your time apart. How so very inspiring, along with proof positive that talking is not the only way to communicate.

72. Eating to fill my emptiness is something I did most of my life. When I am not living and expressing all of who I truly am in full the cravings still return, sometimes I indulge in the emptiness of comfort eating but mostly I reconnect with the fullness and love my true self.

73. Great sharing Heidi, great testimony to everything that Universal Medicine has to offer. This blog was written fours years ago and in that time I have watched you blossom into the very beautiful woman you are today

74. It was just so perfect to read this again this morning – having eaten something I knew no longer supported me last night (again). Knowing how it affects me and therefore others is one thing, but understanding why I was still needing to eat them is something else and that, and your blog reminded me that I haven’t really done that.

75. And from knowing you personally Heidi, you live such a beautiful life that no sweetness of a chocolate bar could ever satisfy, but only pacify.

76. Heidi, it is fascinating how we can have a relationship with food and how it can be so very over-consuming it can then affect our other relationships, in fact it can even destroy our other relationships. Food can be like an addiction, helping us not feel what is going on for us. Take sugar its effects on the body are like cocaine altering the way we are, making us racy and agitated yet because it is everywhere we see it as an accepted norm. I know for sure when I have had sugar I struggle to control my emotions and can become very reactive to even the smallest of things.

77. Thank you so much for taking the time to share your experience, it is supporting me to keep on my chocolate free path. I quit for a couple of years about 6 years ago but relapsed at Easter… I lost my way and got so off track that I began to use chocolate as a form of making everything better in my life; in truth it made nothing better but made me feel good for the moments I ate it. Those moments were what I lived for, I ate only gluten dairy free chocolate but as they brought out more flavours my addiction grew, I am now free and want to stay that way, every word of this blog supports me to be able to do that.

78. Thank you Heidi. I really love what you have shared. I have a long standing love affair with chocolate and the thought of living without it brings up a lot of tension in my body. I thought I made a breakthrough when I started eating the gluten and dairy free kind but it still leaves me with bad skin and a racy uncomfortable feeling in my body. Somehow I have linked chocolate with connection too. I can’t remember how this happened but I don’t feel that matters, the fact is I seek chocolate when I really want connection with myself and/or another. Perhaps it’s time to work on my connections rather than my diet.

79. Thank you for this sharing Heidi. Reading this article has made me realise that the only addiction I now have since joining Universal Medicine is sugar, but I have not approached my addiction in the same way that you have. Perhaps this is why I am still addicted. I feel that I seriously need to ask myself why I rely on it so much? What is it that I feel it replaces in my life? If I can answer these questions, I feel sure I can let it go. Once again, I thank you.

80. I love the honesty that you shared in your blog Heidi in regard to your relationship with your mother and you ‘could not stand that she was changing all the rules of our relationship, as I was pretty comfortable with how things were’. Comfort can easily become stagnation and this is something we all need to be aware of.

    1. This happens in so many relationships, where one person starts to live in a way that is more loving and it ruffles feathers for those around them, especially in more intimate close relationships. It’s important for us to not come down from doing this for another, as then this confirms to them to also give up on themselves over and over again.

81. It is glorious anecdotal evidence Heidi, evidence that you are deepening your self-awareness and taking responsibility for your choices; the quality of life follows. Thank you for your honesty and wonderful testimony for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

82. An awesome story of overcoming addictions through inspiration….. and the power of committing to listening to your body. The life you embrace now speaks for itself.

83. It is so interesting to read your blog again Heidi. The first part where you described how you were trying to give up chocolate, it sounds just like someone trying to give up drugs. It is actually not that dissimilar really. They both give you the same effect, feeling of comfort and numbing of emotions so you don’t have to deal with it. This highlights there are many forms of addictions we take on to avoid taking responsibility.

84. I love the way you have been so honest in this blog Heidi, with your straight forward account of past choices. It’s wonderful that you were willing to see beyond your craving for chocolate to the why there was such a need for it and by so doing how it made it so easy to let go of those foods and a lifestyle that weren’t supporting you and what a great result these changes have made in supporting you to be more self-loving and responsible for your health and well-beingness.

85. Heidi I too have never had willpower around food, but once I started feeling better about myself and understanding my relationship with food things naturally began to change. I totally relate to equating the bloated feeling as being ‘full’ in the past, but now if this happens I feel uncomfortable and know that it could mean many things, such as I’ve over eaten, chosen a food that does not sit well with my body, eaten too late or when emotional and so on. It never ceases to amaze me how these habits can simply drop away once we are aware of what is driving us.

86. ‘Feeling guilty and hating myself for eating so much chocolate, well… I’d eat more chocolate.’ Heidi I love that you highlight how beating ourselves up simply creates more of the same behaviour … it’s almost as if we know this and it becomes an excuse to give up on our selves rather than being gentle and loving, and looking to the reasons that drive us to these acts of self-abuse.

    1. Once we embrace being loving and gentle with ourselves it is very difficult to then be self-abusive or beat ourselves up about making mistakes or unloving choices. Life is never about perfection but about learning, so whenever we do have slip ups or stumbles we can choose to pick ourselves up very gently and look back to gain a deeper understanding of why it happened, instead of avoiding looking at it by blaming ourselves we can approach it with love and understanding.

    2. This is so true Anne. If we look at the why, then we see the food is not the issue at all.

87. I find that anything that I may be consuming that is not good for me is much more easily let go of when I am honest about the effect it is actually having on my. Somethings take me longer to let go of because I am so familiar with how it leaves me feeling, however these days I do experiments with myself to see what I feel like without certain foods to truly know the difference.

    1. That’s a great idea Vicky, I hadn’t really thought about taking foods out of my diet to experiment with how they make me feel. There is so much as we are told about certain foods which are needed for this and other foods which are needed for something else and yet I know from my experience that many of the foods that I’m told are healthy, don’t serve me at all.

88. Thank you Heidi. I still have a very dysfunctional relationship with chocolate and your post allows me to feel more deeply why this may be.

89. ‘So my focus was no longer on cutting out chocolate. It was more about how I interacted with people and how I treated myself. So when I made dietary changes from this understanding, things were a lot easier.’ It is about the root cause and then we are able to make the change, otherwise we will just replace one thing for another.

    1. Very true Annelies. I tried to cut out chocolate using willpower instead of taking responsibility for the way I interacted with people and this resulted in me eating a lot of chocolate! Addressing the root cause is the only way.

90. Beautiful Heidi, it is affirming to read how we can be dependant of something for a long time, but when we come to the reason for it we can feel what it really does and choose differently.

91. Thank you Heidi, this is gold. I particularly love that you came to realise that your ‘focus was no longer on cutting out chocolate. It was more about how I interacted with people and how I treated myself. So when I made dietary changes from this understanding, things were a lot easier.’ This is absolute gold and very supportive. So many people, myself included, try to be strict and cut things out from their diet. When in fact it is not about our diet first, it is about how much we care we show oursleves in each choice.

92. There is so much that many of us can relate to when you say chocolate has been your best friend. That comfort, always there when you need it friend. But equally there is much to relate to when you say life has profoundly changed, since attending Universal Medicine presentation and practitioners, I have felt that there is so much that I have let go of and surrendered to, not in an unempowered way, quite the opposite. The more I have discarded what was not me (understanding this was a huge concept in itself), so I could live more of me, has been transformational. Then living more of me allows me to not have to go to vices life chocolate, food or whatever the vice may be for each person.

    1. Yes when I am not living me in full, I want to eat to fill the emptiness.

93. This is beautiful anecdotal evidence. Thank you Heidi for such a clear account of your relationship with chocolate. I also loved chocolate and could never imagine giving it up yet as I began to feel more and more, it was impossible to not be honest about the effects of it on my body and it was actually easy to let it slip away. And that’s what it was for me; I didn’t consciously say “this is it, no more chocolate for me!” It was much more, eating the things that let me stay connected to myself and then realising that chocolate was no longer my daily companion.

94. Thank you Heidi for such a beautiful and honest account of your addiction to chocolate, I used to have my own love-relationship with chocolate as well, as I began to develop a more loving relationship with myself the cravings that used to control me started to naturally fall away.

    1. Allowing things to naturally fall away is so key. When I allow myself to truly feel that I no longer want something to be part of my life it is easy to let it go and no willpower is required.

95. Loved reading your blog Heidi. My desire for sweets and chocolate began in boarding school, when we were ‘allowed’ 4 individual sweets or chocolate squares after lunch. It was only many years later I pieced together that one, as my desire for something sweet only ever manifested after lunch…..Its been quite a few years now since I ate chocolate – the desire fell away as my love and caring for myself grew. It was only ever a wanting to fill the emptiness I had inside me – that I tried to fill in school by eating sweets – my connection with home. I was looking outside for love – but now I know it is within me -and was there all along…..

96. Heidi I thank you for sharing so honestly and openly. I used to love chocolate quite a few years ago too so I can understand its hold on us.

97. Heidi I love the way you write! this is so humorous and I can so relate to needing chocolate as substitute for love.

98. As children we were often given chocolate as a treat, reward or a present so that it easily became the thing to go for when feeling I deserved a treat or as a reward. Universal Medicine helped me to realise that I was craving chocolate as a substitute for love and that when I reconnected to the love that I am, I no longer craved for an artificial substitute.

99. Yes, I totally agree Luke. Healing the cause of our additions instead of masking it or suppressing it is the way to approach it.

    1. Big thumbs up chanly88 🙂

100. Working on our addictions is not just about giving it up but going deeper and heal why we seeks comfort in certain food or drinks, or any other addiction. When we heal the cause of any addiction the power it has over us becomes powerless.

101. A great blog with such accessible messages about how we use different foodstuffs to compensate for the connection and love we’re missing – at a cost to our bodies in bloating, self-loathing and much more.

102. Heidi I loved reading your blog. When Serge Benhayon presents he offers a greater understanding for us to realise how we have disconnected from our innermost, and when we reconnect back to our inner-knowing, we no longer crave the things we did for comfort.

103. My chocolate cravings definitely come and go i have also found that when I refind the love the craving for chocolate is no longer there.

104. I love what you have shared, Emma and can completely relate.
     There is a lot of sneaky energy coming through the food industry- cacao is dressed up as the healthy version of chocolate. I fell for that too. Another myth is that raw foods are better for us than other foods- lovely raw cakes etc. We need to be very vigilant about the feelings in our body to tell us whether a food is true for us or not.

105. It was a joy to read your blog and to taste your language, sense of humor, honesty, and of course the big change you have shared here. Quitting with a life-long partner/relative “chocolate” or any other self-abusive addiction from the understanding of the body instead of trying to reach it through a willingness is deeply inspiring. Thank you.

106. What a beautiful blog Heidi, loved hearing about your ‘love of chocolate’ and finding out what it represented and more importantly, finding there was another way to be, not having to use the chocolate to mask other things that were going on.

107. Dear Emma, when I read your words I immediately felt their truth and their importance for me. I still often eat too much or eat foods that take me away from feeling my loveliness and sensitivity and I often find it quite hard to read how a certain food affects my body. I realize that I cut out many foods more with control than by really feeling what they do to me. That`s why my desire for some foods I cut out is still there. Time to feel and understand foods much more from deep inside…

108. Dear Heidi, I loved reading you blog and I can absolutely relate to your experiences. To be honest, I still have chocolate sometimes, but then a dark dairy free chocolate. My way of living definately still contributes to need of certain foods, but my understanding of why I eat them grows more and more and I also experienced some kinds of food-partners 🙂

109. Every word Heidi, I get. Once upon a time Chocolate was my friend, so I thought. I would actually freak out if I didn’t have any, and hated sharing it so would make secret stashes. It was an addiction and I had the honesty to admit that, but could not see a way out. One day without it and I was beside myself…yes two of me stressing out and c-r-a-v-i-n-g it very badly.
     My giving up process was similar to this one, a little complicated by my exhaustion. Once I got through the initial rough patch, I have o say I felt amazing. That was when I looked at my ex-friend and realised it was no friend at all. A little high, taste buds tantalised in exchange for dull eyes and skin and a thick, sluggardly body. I have a new friend now. Me.

110. This is a wonderful blog. To make a clear point as to why chocolate had become your seeming friend, but really your foe, allowed a healing to sustain permanent positive change. Beautiful.

111. Thanks Heidi – you story has many great points and doesn’t just relate to our relationship with food but also to any aspect of our lives where we feel we haven’t got control over something we are doing and that ‘it is just the way it is’ and so we accept it without question. The deeper searching through a connection to our bodies is the foundation for making whatever self loving choices are needed for the next step. Sometimes what is revealed to us is hard to accept but it is always amazing nonetheless.

112. How easy it is to eat certain foods or to over or under eat to numb ourselves! We have all done some variation of this over the years, not realising that what is going on is very destructive and actually increasing the problems. I had no idea of the real connection until I started to attend Universal Medicine and it’s still a work in progress. Something I was reminded of as I was reading is that the way to approach issues is to always come back to a base of self love and from there, the next step becomes more obvious.

113. Why haven’t I seen this blog before? It’s amazing. Thank you, Heidi, I love the way you express, it’s like you’re sitting and chatting with me/the reader which makes it very relatable. I really appreciate all the pieces of gold through the blog, at the moment this one: “So my focus was no longer on cutting out chocolate. It was more about how I interacted with people and how I treated myself.”
     I will be remembering your blog and focussing on this for the next little while …

     1. Yes, Marian I have wondered the same – why haven’t I seen this blog before? I loved reading Heidi’s blog and as you say it is so readable and easy to connect to. It so clearly explains the way that we become so ‘involved’ with food and build what can be a lifelong relationship with food. Food, I am realising plays an enormous place in all our lives as it’s not just about feeding the body but about the motivation behind our choices and the amount of time it pre occupies us each and every day – or at least that is my experience.

114. Heidi, this blog is super inspiring. And, I feel to share it with my daughter, who has also had a mother try to shove un-lived teachings down her throat 😬

115. I loved your story about your break-up with chocolate and your commitment to honesty and addressing why and how you had been using it to appease emotions… choosing the self-awareness and self-responsibility you have to make all these beautiful and loving choices is deeply inspiring and the transformation you have made just divine to read.

     1. Absolutely Samantha, this blog was so full of love that I felt the story should continue forever – “just a divine read”! Thank you Heidi, having known you over this time, I can attest to the ” beautiful anecdotal evidence” you bring to humanity!

116. The spring in your step comes through loudly in all you’ve shared on your ex Heidi. A testimony to the loving choices you make, inspiring!

117. Thank you for the very real and exposing blog on chocolate addiction. It’s amazing how it’s triggered by an empty emotion just wanting to be filled, and once relealised it wasn’t needed anymore. Very powerful.

118. This was a real delight to read Heidi. Written with lightness it just flowed and has inspired me to be more discerning with my food choices and to stop and ask why, when I am reaching for something which I know does not nourish me.

     1. Michelle, this constant reminder of ‘what’s up?’ when I eat poorly, or over eat, has been a major source of healing across a whole range of things for me.

119. Heidi when I used to come back after work and tuck into a bar of chocolate it was easy to claim it was something that I deserved because I worked hard. I love how you call out the fact that perhaps it was more to do with seeking connection as the fact is I was working with no connection. Therefore at home the chocolate and other substances were the quick fix of something I was missing – of course it never worked or lasted. As you say the only difference came from developing a real connection with myself first – from there it was not needed.

120. Amazing to read that when you discovered that what you were really looking for had to come from within you, your desire for chocolate ceased. Inspirational to read. Thank you.

121. I love the way you describe how life changing Universal Medicine presentations can be, I’ve found this too – it really helps me get to see underneath or behind behaviours or ways of thinking that are harming and debase them for good rather than trying to use willpower alone to make a change.

122. Heidi, that’s gold! It’s awesome what you are sharing. For those who doubt that leaving sugar, dairy, CHOCOLATE, gluten – whatsoever behind will make you feel better – they a least now have the inspiration to give it a try! Even you did to me* Much love!

123. Hi Heidi. Once you were able to look at what you were really wanting and trying to substitute the chocolate for it is powerful that at that point you were then able to connect much more with how your body felt affected by the chocolate. This has been key for me too, many of my decisions to not eat certain foods has come from not wanting the feeling that comes into my body after I eat that food. Caffeine is a good example, as I connected more with me I started to really dislike the tightness in my chest, the shaky hands and being highly strung for the rest of the day and kept awake at night too. I started to want the steadiness I felt without caffeine more than the coffee or tea itself.

124. Delightful to read this Heidi thank you. The point you are making about making changes by dealing with the underlying cause of the behaviour is lovely to be reminded of. When I make behaviours that I know are unhealthy about using my mind or willpower to change then I also make myself wrong if my will power is unsustainable, untenable and elusive.
     Will power is a tricky and insidious idea that keeps us going in circles, we look at the behaviour that we don’t like, that we know does not support us and make the solution will power. So on top of the behaviour then is another layer of energy of trying or using the mind to control behaviour while the underlying reason the behaviour is there does not get healed. Like you Heidi this never worked for me either.

     1. Great what you write about control and will power! When we want to change things with hardness and control they get even worse because we do not really feel and understand why they are there. Very often we eat food because we seek intimacy and true love. When we cut the foods out that are connected to that because we just know that they are not good for us in our mind, but don`t ponder and work on these issues, it will stay difficult to not have them.

125. What a fun blog, you made me laugh. so honest and full of light-ness.
     And it is lovely to see how you were profoundly touched when you had been so against any of those changes. Everything is possible, to change, and to heal.

126. I just loved reading about the way you have transformed your life Heidi.
     Your self awareness and willingness to take responsibility for the way you live is inspirational.
     Thank you for sharing so honestly and beautifully.

127. 360 turn around to feel how amazing that the changes we choose can have such a major impact on our lives. What’s more inspiring is watching those people around us deciding the same

     1. I agree Jaime. It’s such a beautiful moment when your loved ones discover this for themselves.

128. This is really great, Heidi, than you. The love you were looking for in chocolate was in fact within you. As stated, it must have been a huge revelation and change yet it is simple really. It shows that how caught up we can be with comforting foods, but it is high time for us all to snap-out of it and stop harming ourselves.

129. A beautiful revelation of how a love of chocolate was a craving for lost love. Refind the love and the craving for chocolate is no longer there.

     1. Beautifully put Mary 🙂

130. In appreciation of your beautifully written words – the truth of the depth of loving yourself and how acknowledging the wisdom of your body can be truly felt. So simple. Thank you to Serge Benhayon for living from his body and sharing the truth of that with us all.

131. This blog in itself could revolutionize the weight loss industry.

     I can relate to your chocolate love as I use to rely on chocolate daily myself too. I would get home from work exhausted and stressed from the day and say to my husband not to talk to me until after I had eaten my half or full block of chocolate. What a crazy way to live. It didn’t occur to me that I should really sit and feel the uncomfortable tension in my body from the day I had just had, and the reflect on how I could live life different as to not come home full of tension. It wasn’t until I started listening to Universal Medicine Arcane audios that I connected to this living wisdom which is really a very basic life skill and with this stopped eating chocolate to numb the tension in my body and listen to the tension of my day.

     So simple, yet so powerful. This is one of the thousands of ways that the wisdom of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine teachings change your life in the most profound way.

132. I second that Bina! Well said.

133. I agree katechorley, as you say: “Truly overcoming addictions does come from an understanding of what is driving the behaviour, the drug of choice is simply a symptom of a deeper ill.” Once we really allow ourselves to feel honestly what is driving the behaviour, we can then heal the cause. The behaviour will then just fall away.

     1. Absolutely, it really is that simple.

134. So great to read Heidi and very delightful too! I also had a ‘little’ chocolate addiction before I started attending Universal Medicine courses and workshops. I would never be able to stop eating once I started a bar of chocolate and actually already given up on trying to. So I am still really amazed how easy it has been to stop eating chocolate once I understood that it really was not helping me in any way feeling better in my body. I would feel empty and lonely again (two of the reasons why I ate chocolate) not long after having digested the chocolate which made me eat it in the first place. Once I felt that, it was very easy to let go.

135. Thank you for this blog Heidi, re-reading this blog makes me question my reliances that are still hanging around, internal drama’s over whats going on around me is a big one at the moment. But like Naren above and yourself have mentioned that form of mentally trying to change doesn’t work. If I approach an issue from my body and how it feels then change is much more likely to stick.

     1. It’s like choices made from the body are a no-brainer, literally – and because the body is the tracking device and monitor, it never is a question of willpower or control.

136. It is great to read this a second time. Gaining the understanding of why eating certain foods for the emotional connection is such an amazing and freeing realisation. The way you have shared this Heidi is of great benefits for others.

137. Absolutely Tony and the same with the obligation to eat at least three meals a day with the additional morning and afternoon sandwich or cake break. There is this belief that children have to eat constantly and specifically if they express to be hungry the food has to be there right away. I experienced with our kids that if they are responsible for preparing their food they establish their own rhythm and listen far more to their body and what they actually need.

138. This is a great blog Heidi, it is hard to describe on paper how life changing this is but I think you nailed it. It makes me think back to how I was introduced to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and every day I thank my sister for sharing with me her experiences with the work but also that I listened to myself and really felt this was something I needed to explore and went with it and I am so glad I did .

139. I agree Bina, a fantastic blog

140. I loved reading your blog- it could have been a column in a magazine. Isn´t it great when we free ourselves from the attachments we emotionally need?

141. Simply fantastic, Heidi. You really nail the patten I recognise so well of trying “to make a change … mentally psyching myself up to try again, coupled with a berating inner voice adamantly stating I wasn’t strong enough to make permanent, positive changes”. I found that with so many things, whether it was food, smoking pot or watching TV. You beautifully capture how by simply connecting to yourself and not fighting the symptom (the food) but addressing what we are trying to hide from by using the food/ pot/ TV/ overwork/ extreme exercise, etc. etc. etc.

142. I can so feel the ‘beautiful anecdotal evidence’ that you write about here in your life, Heidi, feel it jumping off the page at me. It’s enjoyable, inspiring and leaves me with a huge smile to read how you were willing to be open enough to recognise that your mother had changed and that you could actually feel the difference in her. Not only that but you were open enough to attend a Universal Medicine event on the off chance that you might get something out of it. Your wise blog speaks volumes to me as does the (relatively minor) detail that you were able walk away from your intimate relationship with chocolate….powerful reading indeed.

143. Ouch, I am guilty of this. It is so common to want to fill our children (and avoid being asked for food not long after meal times). But perhaps if we took a deeper look and asked questions about why there was hunger we would actually be dressing the real issue and not just packing it down underneath more food.

144. So true Lindy Summerhaze. When Heidi says it was as though the chocolate was calling her – it shows the power of the the consciousness or the drug that we have handed our power over to.

145. So gorgeous. I had a similar relationship with coffee and had tried many times (unsuccessfully) to give it up. I though we would be life long partners too. Then when Universal Medicine came into my life, the different approach of looking at why I drank coffee and becoming more aware of the changes it made in my body, meant that it slowly dropped away and now I would never ever consider a coffee as I feel too amazing to allow something to alter that – even when I’m falling exhausted and falling asleep at my desk.
     Beautiful blog Heidi.

146. Heidi I got something very proud from reading your blog today. That so often we try to change our habits in a mentally driven way including the psyche up mental pep talk as you have described it and the inevitable self criticism and judgement afterwards. But this never ending cycle continues as you have said if we don’t fully understand the emotional factors underneath that are causing it. This is huge for anyone struggling to kick something they know is not good for them.

147. This is a great point Elizabeth – food as ‘reward’. Reward for what? For not being the love that we are? Strange trophy but one we have all championed at one stage or another!

148. Chocolate as a substitute for love – that’s a pretty powerful revelation Heidi, especially when you have proved that you don’t fight the addiction by going to the symptom (chocolate) and eradicating it, you go to the cause (lack of love) and heal it. You ditched your ex and chose evolution instead – very beautiful, thankyou.

     1. Love it, Liane….”You ditched your ex and chose evolution instead….” Profoundly funny!

149. Heidi I absolutely loved your blog. I particularly loved this “I hold myself in such high regard, I’m studying to work in an area I’m passionate about and I live a drama free life.” Such a powerfully honest appreciation of yourself. Thank you.

150. I have many ex-partners….not so much chocolate but licorice, sugar, wine, tv, books, men, sex, travelling and spirituality. Since Universal Medicine I have been able to let go of all those partners and come back home to myself, in my body, and being more present, alive and with so much more care and love.

151. Heidi I absolutely love the honesty of your blog. What is amazing is that you stayed open to your Mum even though she was initially walking her talk. Chocolate has also been a biggy for me, but now too have dealt with the issue behind why I loved it so much, so we have also broken up.

152. Ah, so if you wanna give up chocolate, then you have to look at why you ‘need’ it so much in the first place and what hole is it filling? That makes a lot of sense.
     I very easily gave up gluten, dairy and various other foods that didn’t support my body, including chocolate (I had a little resistance to that), but I saw and felt the positive changes in my body. However, I have found that I have replaced some treat foods with healthy treat foods, and have noticed that at a certain time in the evening I often get a little snack attack, and eat a packet of nuts. Nuts -yes, it’s not a bowl of ice-cream or cake, it’s healthy plain nuts, but I would have just eaten my dinner so I’m not hungry and I’ll eat the whole lot, bloat a lot and usually wake up with sticky eyes in the morning. I can see it isn’t supportive, but if I try, I can’t quite seem to give up the habit or stop myself going to the cupboard. Your story has been a great reminder that I don’t need to try to give up the nuts, just look at how I’m feeling when I get the urge for a snack attack and focus on that… and ask myself way… lets see how that goes.
     Thank you for your lovely story by the way.

     1. Laura, I can very well relate to what you share about snack attacks.
        When I started cutting certain things out from my diet I did not realize that I simply replaced them with something healthy, but did not dare to look at what was causing the snack attacks. Gradually I realized that although my diet got healthier and healthier the urge for snacks would not change. After overcoming this resistance and really looking at what was going on and managing to do this without judgement of myself, thing started to change. When I now get the feeling of an approaching snack attack I know that something is there to be looked at, because I simply do not need to give me a treat if I am living lovingly and support myself during the day as then the whole day is a “treat” in every second.

        1. That is super helpful michaelkremer2212, so when I get the snack attacks i.e. the urge to rifle through the cupboards to find anything that will curb the craving, then it’s a sign to just stop and be a little more loving and understanding with myself, an opportunity to ask myself whats really going on and to get to know myself.

153. Beautiful and simple without letting self judgment get in the way.

154. Its really inspiring to read about your journey and hear how you have changed so many things in your life Heidi. I too used to be addicted to chocolate. Now when I crave something sweet I stop to consider what is going on, and how I’ve been living that is making me seek the comfort I know it brings me. Without that curiosity, its easy to eat and then mask and bury the underlying issue.

155. I really really really really enjoyed reading this blog Heidi (really!) I can relate to so much of what you share here. Even though chocolate wasn’t my go-to food, it was food in general, particularly anything sweet, that I sought comfort in. I always tried to control it with crazy diets and fasts but they never affected any true change until I also started to truly want to look after myself and not just control my behaviours. Very inspirational, thank you for sharing.

156. Heidi, I love the understanding you share in this blog. That it’s about looking at how we live that builds a reliance on certain foods – so for instance if I’m running on nervious energy a lot, yes I might crave sugar. I have understood this in the past, but something about hearing how you’ve worked with it today is really helpful and allows me to come more from an understanding of what is going on overall. Food is the end product of my living and my choices, a symptom if you will, and no amount of discipline will ultimately work if we don’t address the underlying feelings that we might be failing to address. Thank you – it’s been so supportive reading this blog today.

157. Heidi loved your sharing particularly about your ex-Partner Chocolate! I had an affair with chocolate when I was in my teens which lasted most of my adult life, but thank goodness over the past 15 years I gradually weened myself off it until Universal Medicine came along and put the nail in the coffin! I do know that there is a reason for the need for chocolate and when we sense what that is or was the healing occurs. With thanks.

158. I loved reading this blog Heidi, what you share is very powerful and is so true. Like you, I used to reach for chocolate mid afternoon every single day for about 10 years… 10 unhappy years I can clearly see now in retrospect. Through Serge Benhayon and the teachings of Universal Medicine I also learned what it meant to connect to myself and to live with that connection throughout the day. Since then, l’ve had no further need for chocolate either.

159. It is amazing the healing that can occur when we uncover and feel why we choose to do a particular thing, I have many past experiences of this. At the moment I am feeling into why I react to a certain person, I know I will connect to the reason when I am open to the answer and the understanding of myself, the other person and the situation. I feel the important step, when looking for understanding as to why we act in a certain way, is openness and space. Through this we will reconnect to the awareness we have but have been avoiding.

160. Wow! Heidi you have really shared something truly amazing here not only to chocolate fans but with all foods – that become a ‘must have’ to satisfy a need/comfort in our lives.
     If I get tired at the end of the day that’s a point of which I have to really be aware of when I can slip up and override the ‘feeling senses’ of what would/would not nourish me. Thank you.

161. I can definitely relate to this sharing, not necessarily to eating chocolate but to my past relationship with food, and how I was choosing to eat to dull myself and not feel what was there to be felt. Since attending Universal Medicine presentations I have become a lot more honest about the way I approach food and the results have been amazing! I am now vital, healthy and passionate about life, more than ever before. Thanks for sharing

162. Wow Heidi, thank you for sharing so openly how you have made such profound changes.
     It is so amazing to realize that we learn to eat what helps us to drift away from what is truly within us, instead of learning to eat what truly nurtures our body and supports us in clearing our issues and healing in every way.

163. Hi Heidi,
     This is a lovely read. To me I can see how much easier it was for you when you delt with the underling emotional issues. For it seems that your choices away from the chocolate become so much easier with your new understanding of what was really going on beneath it all. No more intensity in ‘trying’ to withhold yourself from it at every temptation.

164. How you have gone from an overweight chocoholic to accepting food is ‘more about feeling what I can eat that allows my body to feel just as lovely as before I’ve eaten’ is just beautiful. Thankyou for sharing Heidi.

165. Wow. Heidi. I love your blog. Filled with honesty and insight. Isn’t it amazing – you stopped needing chocolate, and your whole life has changed! Thank you.

166. Well done Heidi. Thank you for sharing all your life story with such trust and honesty. A great confirmation of how with awareness and choices you can change your life. The healing that aligns you back to quality and joy.

167. Heidi thank you so much for your amazing joyful blog full of your living proofed experiences with chocolate. It is a great joy and very inspirational to follow all your descriptions because they are easy comprehensible.

168. Heidi, love your blog. Isn’t it gold that we learn to see the root cause why we eat certain food or have addictions? For me one of the things was smoking, I never smoked a lot so I said to myself I am not really addicted. But the thought of never smoking again was not so pleasant…..
     Once I truly understood the reason why I held on to it, I never touched a cigaret again.

169. I can certainly relate to those chocaholic days Heidi! Having lived in Switzerland myself, it was hard not to pick up certain chocolate habits that I then kept for years. I used to be such a chocaholic that in the evenings I would drive to the closest service station to pick up a bar of chocolate if we had none in the house. One Easter, my mum cam to visit me and brought with her a stack of my all time favourite chocolates from Switzerland. Her visit coincided with my first session and experience with an Esoteric Breast Massage practitioner – after the session I felt amazing: clear headed and so centered and so still. And when I came home there was this pile of chocolates waiting for me and everyone was eating them and enjoying them. So I thought to myself, I’ll just have one piece. And one piece I did have, and this was the last piece of chocolate I ever ate! very soon after eating it, I began to feel really edgy and had this nasty buzz creep through my body. It was like I had put both my fingers into an electric socket. That night I could hardly sleep and the next day the buzz was still there! It was so hard to think straight and so hard to focus on anything. This lasted for 2 days! 2 excruciating days! After this experience I never once have felt like having another piece of chocolate – all I recall is how awful it made me feel and how much it took me away from the exquisiteness I had felt after my esoteric session. Now my focus is on the connection I experienced at the session, and fostering and nurturing that within me. Good bye chocolate, and no need for me to look back at all! What freedom!

170. What a coincidence, Heidi, Mr. Chocolate is my Ex-partner as well. I don’t miss “him” because of how “he” left my body feeling. Racy, emotional and moody. Now I enjoy feeling more of me and have a more stable life in every way.
     I loved reading your story, but to me, this paragraph is CRUCIAL: “The quality of presentation given by Serge allowed me to approach what I knew needed to change from a completely different angle. It was because of this I was able to feel that the whole way I was living contributed to needing certain foods. So my focus was no longer on cutting out chocolate. It was more about how I interacted with people and how I treated myself. So when I made dietary changes from this understanding, things were a lot easier.”

171. Great blog Heidi! Once upon a time (30 years ago), I had one milk chocolate bar a day at least. It was really sweet and I used to love it. At that time too, I used to put four spoons of sugar in my coffee. My life was a sweet one! Later, I left sugar altogether, but my shift to darker chocolates took a while. Felt very comfortable with 80-85% cocoa chocolates. I was not a daily eater anymore but the pleasure in my mouth from it was enormous. I dropped chocolate some five years ago from my diet. I do not miss it at all. There is no space for it in my life. What I find interesting is the fact that I did not drop it because of how my body felt afterwards (this is the way I dropped many foods that simply did not suit my body). My renouncing to it came from a deeper place. Eating chocolate was a profoundly solitary act of a being that felt deeply lonely. It was a way to bring pleasure into my body from the outside given my difficulty to feel myself. So, renouncing it was a clear reflection of a sea change in my life.

     1. This is profound to read and like feeling the repercussions in our body, knowing the reasoning behind behaving a certain way, makes the choice to stop doing it very simple.

172. Beautiful blog Heidi

173. This is a captivating blog, I really enjoyed reading your story again Heidi, your honesty is so helpful to me and I am sure many others, I had in the past struggled to give up chocolate and I also found it was important to look at the underlying reasons why I was choosing to eat this as well as other comforting foods. It then becomes easier to eat in a way that makes us feel as good after the food as before, this is a great gauge.

174. Heidi I so loved your blog and understand so much more about myself, chocolate and ice cream too! x

175. Wow Heidi, I love your honesty and frankness it is amazing to feel the turnaround in your story here. The embracing of yourself, love and new choices is hugely inspiring.

176. Thank you Heidi. By writing about the experiences of your body you have brought us all a truth which we can be inspired by.

177. Such a fun, playful and powerful blog Heidi, that has inspired me to feel more into my food choices and how I am choosing to live, as you wrote the two go very much hand in hand.

178. Heidi this is such a fun and powerful blog thank you I loved it and learned a little more about my eating habits along the way.

179. Thank you Heidi for bringing to my awareness the revelation,
     ‘the way I was living contributed to needing certain foods.’
     It certainly requires some self-responsibility and honesty to make new loving choices in all areas of our lives.

180. It’s true that the focus, when we want to change the way we eat, should not be on what we have to give up, but what way keeps us feeling amazing and lovely in our bodies. It’s an approach that is individual to each of us and so there are no rules, just what is felt.
     Thank you to Serge Benhayon who went on and on about how we should feel lovely and amazing most of the time opening up a world of possibilities.

181. Wow!! What an awesome story! I love the process you had to go through to get the bottom of your chocolate addiction. What really stood out for me was the way in which your mother was so imposing with Universal Medicine talk to begin with, which you naturally resisted because you could feel at the time that it was all talk and not a lot of action. To then have her come and visit you and you notice how much she had changed in her body and how she no longer felt the need to bombard you with Universal Medicine talk and rather just lived her own truth, and from that you were able to feel her and be inspired by her…is just amazing! This is such a great reminder for me….one who tends to get carried away with talking and sometimes forgets to just get on with the living….
     Thank you Heidi!

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