by Frank Tybislawski and Victoria Lister, Brisbane Australia
It appears the recent media interest in Universal Medicine (UniMed) is the result of some rather vigorous pot stirring by a ‘disgruntled few’ – a handful of men who lay blame for the demise of their relationships at the feet of Universal Medicine. Happily, we can report the opposite is true for us: although we didn’t meet via UM, our involvement in the organisation has only strengthened our relationship and we are both the better for it – singularly, and as a couple. Here, we present a ‘his’n’hers’ version of events, in which we discuss how one of us was already a regular participant, how one of us wasn’t, how no-one felt threatened by the supposed inequity, how we both feel totally ‘gruntled’ about our relationship and UM, and how we know many others who would claim the same.
Victoria’s story:
I’m just going to provide some context – because the real heart of the story lies with Frank, as the one half of the equation who hadn’t heard of UniMed when we met and (if the media are to be believed), as a ‘vulnerable man’ in a supposedly female-dominant student body, had the most to lose.
At the time, I’d been attending Universal Medicine courses, workshops and healing sessions for about three years. I’d made some significant changes to my life and was choosing to live in a way that would soon be obvious to anyone seeking to get to know me: I was eating a gluten and dairy-free diet, I no longer drank alcohol, I went to bed at a sensible time, and so on. All the men I’d dated since making these changes had run a million miles, and while I could feel Frank was different, I couldn’t truly know how he’d react.
So one day, fairly early in the piece, I told him how I was living, and why. Thankfully, he stayed in his chair long enough to hear me out, asked sensible questions, told me he wasn’t much interested in alcohol anyway, had been thinking about eliminating gluten and all dairy from his diet (he’d already given away full cream milk and cheesy things), and didn’t think I was weird. Soon thereafter he offered to come with me to a UniMed event and I have to say, he took to it like a duck to water.
We haven’t looked back. We started living together pretty soon after, and 13 months from meeting, married with minimal fanfare in a registry. We’ve now clocked up three years, and live harmoniously and playfully together in an inner city unit so small it’d soon show up if we didn’t.
The Universal Medicine presentations we attend, and the simplicity with which we live are magical, and very much enhance the quality of our relationship. There are no ‘issues’ and we never fight; we simply have areas of our partnership that we independently and collectively explore and are open to developing. And… we’re not the only coupled students of UM who live like this – we have many amazing friends doing similarly all around us.
Indeed, I would go as far to say that there are many more couples positively impacted by their involvement in UM than not. And if I were to choose the one thing Universal Medicine might be said to stand for, it would be the truth – and if two people haven’t stayed the distance, it is simply because one, or both, have brought truth into the equation. Blaming an organisation for the end of your relationship? That doesn’t make sense to me.
Frank’s story:
As Victoria said, I had never heard of Serge Benhayon or Universal Medicine until after I met Victoria. I do recall sitting across the dinner table with Victoria, in the early days of our relationship, where she would tell me all sorts of things about Universal Medicine, but there was certainly nothing at all to make me fear anything about her, or the organisation. Indeed, I had already discovered that certain dairy products played havoc with my digestion and had cut them from my diet. I had already planned to exclude gluten from my diet as I knew ‘something else’ wasn’t right, and knew a friend who had done the same with amazing changes in his health, which totally surprised his doctor. I was also intrigued that it could be possible to live in a very self-caring way, making very discerning choices, and that it was simple to do. Having a partner living the same way, with a similar diet, was just a win-win situation and provided a very solid and supportive framework to make that easy to accomplish.
Soon after meeting Victoria I decided to attend a Universal Medicine presentation, keen to know more, keen to meet other people who simply lived in a similar self-caring way. I also got to meet Serge, and I have to say it was like meeting an old friend; there was a feeling of equality between us, an openness. He didn’t try to sell me an idea or concept, he was just pleased to know that I was willing to listen and then make up my own mind.
Back to Victoria and I; it was perfectly clear that she was special, and I knew that the moment I looked into her eyes. There was a deep, honest reality, no false façade, no attempt to impress, just a genuinely open, kind and caring person. I thought, “Where has she been hiding for the last 30 years?”. Our meeting was amazing, our first date was lovely, but more importantly it was all so easy and simple. It was the same when I decided to move in – and soon after when we agreed to marry.
I can easily see the effect Universal Medicine has had on Victoria and I over the last few years. We take better care of ourselves than we ever have before, and we have more respect for each other as individuals. The extra weight I had been slowly gaining while working in Central Queensland just fell away with no effort at all, and my sleep quality also improved. Although I do shift-work, we live in very similar ways so it is very easy to interact together as a couple on a daily basis. Although we take this seriously we also have a lot of fun and laughs together. As I said before, the last few years has been a win-win situation for both of us, and I’m sure the same applies to many other couples who attend Universal Medicine presentations and workshops.
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Nothing that UM offers is not to help us deeply. This is the truth, only the truth and nothing but the truth.
Thank you for this shows us much more where the true before and afters – after meeting Universal Medicine, have been about. Powerful to say just one word – but it is our Livingness that shows us what is truth and what is not.
It’s hard to not see how a relationship would not be exponentially improved by one or both parties taking deep care of themselves and their health and well-being and why this could ever cause a problem in a relationship – surely on a simple, basic level this should be part of our commitment to any relationship, otherwise what are we bringing?
Super inspiring and indeed a true love story void of any false emotional need but instead founded to two connecting from the truth of their hearts. Trust the media to distort something like this!
Relationships are about being responsible and have nothing to do with any outside influence or situation. We are responsible for the quality of relationships we have with ourselves and each other.
An inspiring read about being in a relationship, one in which whose foundation is that of respect and openness.
Absolutely everyone has free-will to choose what feels true and appropriate for themselves. Just saying no to alcohol is a life giving choice that can set up a wobble in someone else, being gluten and dairy free can be the same. These choices for most people have no association with Universal Medicine; people can simply feel for themselves that these things don’t agree with them. But many people feel confronted when someone is making a ‘healthy’ choice when they are not.
The phrase ‘don’t judge a book by its cover is potentially relevant when it comes to relationships getting together or separating. The outplay of what occurs is important to be understood otherwise we can fall for what we think we see rather than how it truly feels. Some relationships that separate are an evolving experience for both people, some that get together are stunting for both etc…it is a very personal situation in each case to be understood with true discernment.
There are many ways my life has changed since I starting listening to the wisdom that Serge Benhayon shares and lives, but if I had to choose one thing that stands out it is the quality of my relationships. This is because I have learned that all relationships ‘begin at home’ – i.e. with myself and how I am with me. From there, all other relationships have transformed because I am no longer seeking anything from them, aware as I now am that it is my responsibility to love myself. To live with this as the foundation of my relationships has made an extraordinary difference to my life – something I appreciate so very deeply, every day.
I know many couples who did not meet via Universal Medicine but now choose to be a part of it and their relationships are incredible, inspiring and just wow. Not that there are never problems, but how things are dealt with are wow. I also know couples who have chosen to separate since one or both of them coming to Universal Medicine. This seems to have taken the spotlight, but it’s pretty normal for society for couples to separate and for one party to find something to blame for the breakup – it’s an effective way to avoid looking at yourself and taking responsibility. Nothing new here and so I’m not sure what the big deal is and why people have been lapping up the media stories.
It’s great get a double dose of how it is for two people in a relationship like this and all seems pretty normal I would say or is it? I meant respectful, loving, caring, appreciative, funny, light and yet dedicated ah maybe not our current ‘norm’ then, haha, but certainly a way to bring it all back.
The one word that stood out for me tonight in reading this article was respect. There is not only love, joy and playfulness in this relationship, there is also a deeply felt respect and genuine care for each other. Could this very simple human consideration be what is missing in many relationships today?
In the end it comes back to our responsibility with ourselves, and how much we are prepared to live is up to us. There is no one, organisation, situation or any factor to blame for our quality of life…it is up to each of us to claim it, or not.
I appreciate what you say Frank: “Where has she been hiding for the last 30 years?” as that clearly says it all for me. We can be so closed of while we live from the mind instead of from our heart, that we often do not recognise that there is such a delicateness and beauty within and around us.
It is beautiful to read stories like this as I feel this is such powerful stuff and needs to be shared wherever we go and with whoever we meet.
‘I also got to meet Serge, and I have to say it was like meeting an old friend; there was a feeling of equality between us, an openness.’ I agree for me it was the same, there was something about him that I felt I already knew, and I also knew the truth about what he presented, and for those who don’t feel the truth can just walk away.
That’s beautiful – it’s true we cannot ever blame anyone or organisation for the breakdown of our relationships, relationships break down because one, or even both people do not choose the truth, love and potential of the relationship.
Indeed Meg, it is actually very simple as relationships do have a potential to deepen our connection, not only with one another but also with ourselves and with love and truth. If we choose to not use this potential as we choose to not deepen that connection that’s OK to but in this we have to stay honest with ourselves and not to blame the other for our own choices.
True, it’s a constant commitment to deepen, I’ve seen so many amazing relationships go downhill because they have settled and stagnated and not moved forward.
It’s amazing and revealing to see what the collect norm considers to be ‘normal’ at this point in time and how we treat people who don’t fit into this view. Some may ask or at least consider where we are headed as a race of people, I know it’s something I discuss and consider deeply. I watch how things would seem to be heading more and more out of control and yet the norm seems to keep walking with that behaviour. If we look at what is considered norm and how it’s changed just in a single life time we would consider that something is not only a miss but terribly wrong. There is a collective blindness for us here and yet we have people that walk away from the norm and bring back a way of living from the past and are living it now to seed it forward for the future. How would the collective norm treat these people, well it may consider them to be too different and not want anything to do with them or some may take the time to see the person and realise that the norm is the strange one and that in fact the way the norm is walking is certainly adding to their woes.
There is a narrative that when you are different with religious aspects you are a cult. Such a narrative requires that participants get damaged. When the narrative doesn’t fit, it seems to be very tempting to fill the space with untruths.
Its a strange world that we live in where we have to worry about telling someone that we don’t drink alcohol and go to bed early! Its the sort of advice we give our kids when they are growing up, so rather than telling them, how about living it and enjoying the same benefits… which is to be feeling ourselves.
Yes, it is really strange. Weird even.
Yeh great common sense Simon – it’s crazy that when it comes to kids and adults there seem to be two totally different rule sets when it comes to looking after yourself. How could it only be important to look after ourselves when we’re younger?
What this beautiful story clearly reveals is that Universal Medicine cannot be factored in at all as a negative point regarding relationships (as some interested press and a few detractors want us to believe). Victoria and Frank’s stories make clear, that such assertion is simply false.
This is gorgeous and inspiring and yet so simple and natural way to be with another. I came to Universal Medicine for a few years before my husband joined me for a workshop, and I remember him having a smile from ear to ear and feeling completely connected to after meeting with Serge Benhayon for a few minutes. We were together 17 years before meeting Universal Medicine and are still together 9 years later. Universal Medicine and The Way of the Livingness has only supported our relationship to grow and deepen and become so much more stable and real, then it was before.
What a wonderfully honest testimonial not just to the life changing presentations of Universal Medicine but to the quality of life that you each have brought into your relationship. It feels so ordinary and natural to do so but at the same time I can feel the amazing reflection you are offering to others that a relationship like yours is absolutely possible when you bring true love, equality and truth into the relationship equation.
The Ageless Wisdom is a truth we all know and can feel. Serge Benhayon presents and inspires a way of living that develops our awareness of this truth.
Beautiful to hear a couple expressing with such love together in a blog like this. It is a simple way of life and it is completely un-harmful, in my opinion anyone that says any different clearly has an agenda.
Victoria you said it perfectly when you stated that it’s not UM that causes the upheaval in a relationship but the truth that one party has brought. When all that is love, is brought to a relationship, all that is not comes to the surface to be cleared.
It’s actually such an awesome opportunity to evolve together… but it’s always a choice and if someone doesn’t want to there is no one to blame.
Total Aimee, and if blame has slipped into the relationship you know evolution has not been the chosen path.
As someone who lived my life totally shut off to others, on the surface friendly enough and got along with everyone, often the life of the party, underneath this I never truly let people get too close. Thank goodness for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine- which has supported me to deeply love and value myself and be able to share that with others and open up to a relationship.
I was single for many years before UniMed and after a few years I entered a relationship with another student and I have learnt so much about loving myself and the responsibility I hold. In past relationships it was all based on need and fantasy living up to an image and picture of what love looked like relying on the relationship to fulfill what I was not bringing to myself. It has been the most profound experience letting out the depth of my love which grows exponentially day by day. Living in an esoteric relationship is love where before it was emotional need. Worlds a part – makes sense why this is reaction!
As you say Frank living in an intimate relationship is actually a win-win situation as when we choose for growth and prosperity we do actually support one another in this development and any moment will be further evolved than the moment before, a continuous learning and growing. That is a beautiful way to live with one another as it has a purpose to it that is so completely different from living in an arrangement, where you are limiting development and growth by the spoken or unspoken agreements being made and laid in the foundation of the relationship.
When a relationship fails too many look high and low to blame someone or something else but one thing I am learning more and more is that we are all fully and completely responsible for how our life unfolds whatever that may be and in whichever direction it may go.
There are really two kinds of relationship we can have, aren’t there… In one, we seek to confirm the well-worn habits, ruts and known behaviours that have suited us in our lives – we don’t really want change, and however strained things may even be at times, at least this is a ‘known’ and we’d rather stay with the ‘known’ than truly honour any stirrings of self-claiming that arise from within from time to time… We may even convince ourselves that this is ‘as good as it gets’…
In the second, we are deeply willing to be with each other and also recognise that life isn’t just about securing our own ‘nest’, and finding a way of traversing the well-worn ruts that are comfortable to us. We are actually willing to acknowledge that basically, our relationship is not just about ‘us’, it’s about living in a way where one’s love for one’s partner has no static point. It’s about living in a way where we are willing to be not only challenged by each other’s growth and deepening, but deeply inspired by this – to support and allow each other the space to be all that they truly are, and deal with ANY hindrances (inclusive of personal need…) that would want to quash this in any way whatsoever. In this, it’s essentially about evolution, i.e. our return to all that we are and a rich and soul-full way of living that embraces all in our love. Old ways of ‘accepted compromise’ and the rest, simply have no place, and can be met through the commitment intrinsic to such a relationship, ever aware that none of it – none of what we are and represent together – is about ‘us’ alone.
To me, the ‘disgruntled few’ have revealed just how readily we seek to blame factors outside of a relationship when things move out of our control. Sure, when one party begins to make some changes in their lives – as you’ve shared here Victoria and Frank, changes that actually speak of taking deeper care for oneself – boats can be rocked. And all hell may break loose when one partner says ‘no’ to abuses emotional and otherwise, that he or she can simply no longer accept.
What dark sides of human behaviour can be exhibited when we can no longer dominate and control… It seems we’d rather seek to destroy whomever outside of the relationship we’ve chosen to blame, rather than actually take a moment to reflect upon what a change of circumstance is showing, if not offering us, in terms of our own growth in the relationships of our lives.
Thankyou Frank and Victoria, for me the heart of what Universal Medicine offers is to make life about love – that has got to be good for relationships! It has certain impacted all of my relationships is very positive ways including my relationship with myself.
What a great story showing how simple things can be if we let them be.
For some reason this story feels very relevant to me and it feels very heartfelt, so thanks both of you for sharing.
I love you comment Victoria: “Blaming an organisation for the end of your relationship? That doesn’t make sense to me.” Blame is a fantastic tool when you want to avoid responsibility.
Well said Nikki, a seemingly easy way out that offers no evolution.
Frank – I love your appreciation of the fact that in a relationship it is about learning from each other, and that it is also about being there to support each other with loving choices. “I was also intrigued that it could be possible to live in a very self-caring way, making very discerning choices, and that it was simple to do. Having a partner living the same way, with a similar diet, was just a win-win situation and provided a very solid and supportive framework to make that easy to accomplish.” – A solid caring relationship forms a foundation of growth for both people in a couple and all around. It is like stepping stones that we each lay in front of us in turns so that we can hop along together and hence grow and evolve both as individuals and as a couple. How beautiful – I have really enjoyed both of your sharings – thank you!
Victoria, this is spot on: “Blaming an organisation for the end of your relationship? That doesn’t make sense to me.” – this is a scape goat method of not wanting to take responsibility for ones own part in the game. I love what you have shared and how you have shared it in this blog – very refreshing indeed and helps to dispel some of the nasty lies that abound around Universal Medicine being the so called cause of relationship breakdowns and divorces. If anything, Universal Medicine has helped so many relationships including mine – I have so much more love, care and respect in my relationship today which is a blessing indeed.
I love your story and what you say Frank sums it up so beautifully “… more importantly it was all so easy and simple.”
Truth is love and without truth in any relationship there is no love and as I begin to live this truth all of my relationships are changing in one way or another.
I can say the same for my wife and I – we met before either of us came into contact with Universal Medicine but since we have been attending the workshops and presentations our relationship has benefited from this enormously.
Beautiful story Frank and Victoria, and very needed to counter the lies being spread by the ‘disgruntled’. Blame, such a give away that highlights someone’s irresponsibility in looking at their own choices. There is so much more healing in looking at our choices and how we got to a certain point, to then learn from it and perhaps change the way we move through life thereafter. Where is the healing or evolution in blaming someone else for your life situation?
It is now 6 years since I first attended a Universal Medicine event and heard Serge Benhayon present. I am still very much ‘gruntled’. Serge offers so very much to those who are willing to hear him – in fact he offers us the opportunity to reconnect to everything – for everything is our true essence and nature, and he reflects this back to us for our choosing.
The same does apply to other couples who attend Universal Medicine workshops and my wife and I are one of them for sure. In fact I would say that every relationship I now have is healthier because of my UniMed inspired choices to be self-loving first and then be love in relationship with others. This is a far cry – in fact the complete opposite to the needy, emotion laden relationships I had previously. It’s very simple really. Where two people come together seeking love where does it come from? But where two come together being the love they are innately, then there is love in abundance.
Thank you Frank and Victoria for sharing your love. More so, thank you for living it, providing a clear steady true example of what it is to live a relationship that supports the other constantly to grow in their love and share it.
What a blessing to have true medicine at hand when it comes to our relationships. What a blessing to have Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.
Yes indeed, a blessing to have Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine amongst us now – not only showing us what a true relationship looks like, but showing us how to openly and honestly look at ourselves without judgement or fear.
I agree Esther, it is a blessing to have Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine in our lives presenting what it means to be and live in a true relationship with every thing. My relationship with my husband, children, extended family, home, car, every thing on some level is changing all because of my willingness to make self loving changes within myself.
Thanks for sharing Frank your beautiful story and experience of Universal Medicine. There are some who would try to paint UM in a negative light when it comes to relationships, but all of those whom I have met have found that their relationships have transformed into a greater and more true way of being together – which is not always an easy path, but most definitely a path that feels true, stupendous and most definitely worth walking, and now I would not wish to choose any other.
Thank you Frank and Victoria for your blog. It feels that the simplicity in your lives is very healing and the quality of this evolves you both within your relationship. Universal Medicine is showing me how to truly love myself first and then another. It has made a monumental change to my life and continues to unfold deeper truths.
Irena, more and more Victoria and I understand and appreciate how simplicity in our lives is a core value. Not just relating to our relationship, how it started and how it is unfolding, but in other aspects of life too. Simplicity, openness and a willingness to go deeper has been so helpful.
I love the simplicity of your story and how you got together and it is true the impact Universal Medicine has on people and their relationships is very supportive to building honest, deeply loving and true relationships. Of course if someone is not up for that they can leave their partner and try to find their happiness somewhere else and sometimes it might serve more to leave a stagnated relationship than trying to fix it.
Lovely to read your unfolding relationship with each other and how Universal Medicine played a part in where you are today. It’s pointless to blame another for anything as there is no learning or growth from it… and we stay in the illusion of our own choices.
Very true Aimee. Blaming another is just as bad as blaming yourself or being hard on yourself – they are always just opportunities to learn and grow.
Thank you for sharing, it makes no sense how a few people who, it seems to me, have chosen not to deal with their stuff, are allowed to get away with harassing and being abusive. We can choose to make life about blaming others, or we can take responsibility for our lives – after all we have no one else to blame other than ourselves for the choices we make and where we are today. If this was not the case, what would the point of life be if we had nothing to learn?
Gosh by reading your blog I have to realize: it can be all so simple, if we do not complicate it…
I love your feelings here Sandra, so simple and true. I’m now realising in all areas of life that if I feel a lack of that simplicity I’ve allowed or observed a complication. Truth and simplicity – these are two major words for me….
It is so lovely to live in a partnership. But I have to say: my first relationship is with me and my development. We are not here to be perfect humans, we are here on earth to get out of it again, to realize and life again who we truly are: all one. My partnership is supporting this – or it is no true relationship.
Thank you Victoria and Frank your story further supports the fact that we can either blame others when relationships fall apart or we can choose to take responsibility and see our part in everything so we can learn and grow. It really is that simple and learning and growing is really what relationships are about.
I love it. A very ordinary everyday example of a couple committing to a loving relationship both with themselves but each other. Victoria when you said that blaming an organisation for the end of your relationship doesn’t make sense.. I have to agree. What I have seen of blame in my own life, this means I am not wanting to take any responsibility or look at the part I have played and learn from it.
Through the amazing presentations of Serge Benhayon my husband and I have been offered a ‘toolkit’ to help us work through issues that come up between us. Our relationship deepens daily due to the inspiration we have felt from the way in which Serge lives with his wife and family and the now many couples who are also Students of the Way of the Livingness. It’s an amazing support.
‘Indeed, I would go as far to say that there are many more couples positively impacted by their involvement in UM than not’. I cannot but wonder why this fact has not ever been reported in the newspapers? Perhaps our society is becoming so calibrated to the drama of the negative that anything truly loving exposes how lovelessly we are actually living and far too many of us just don’t want to feel it.
It was lovely to re-read this blog, and feel the simplicity and naturalness of your coming together and how this has blossomed into an enduring relationship. Many people have arrangements, but true relationships like you describe are self-sustaining and a joy to be around.
Its a very simple and lovely account of how becoming a student of Universal Medicine has enhanced a relationship.. in particular I like your comment Victoria, about the real purpose is not to bring people together or to break them apart, but to simply introduce truth. Once that is injected in, then you have a real relationship and not an arrangement, and can explore whether you are better off together or apart.
So lovely to read this this morning, and reflect on the expansion over the last couple of years of the Universal Medicine student body where there are many more couples like yourself who have come to the same understanding and love as you have. Your beautiful relationship with each other still standing strong and expanding which is so inspiring to see.
Living the loving principles that Universal Medicine presents has a profound effect on people’s lives … for it allows people to truly connect to themselves and who they are, and from there…. follow their heart and what feels true for them – and this includes who they want to share their life with.
Thanks to both of you for sharing, harmony is something we could learn to return to in all of our relationships, and if we learn and gain the wisdom to bring harmony to our relationship with our partner, we can then bring this understanding and love to everyone we meet. So not just does the couple benefit, but the whole entire world. That’s a win for all !
This experience is a very vast contrast in comparison to how we are led to believe and expect relationships to be from all around us. What Universal Medicine shares is that being committed to ourselves first and being open to who we truly are is a healthy stance in any relationship. While I don’t have a partner everyone in my life reflects something back for me to understand them, myself, society and life. With this understanding there can be more lightness in life. But when we close off from others and only engage on a functional level or to keep up appearances or to get something then we miss out on so such. It’s definitely worth being open to others and ourselves.
This is just one of the MANY examples of the ‘gruntled’ relationships I know have been inspired by the teachings of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.. nothing that’s airy-fairy, wish-washy or special, just ordinary people developing ordinary loving relationships.
It is so beautiful to read a love story like this, it shows what true love is about, and in truth as I can feel through your words and my own experience, an organisation can’t end a relationship it is only possible when one or both don’t choose to grow together but apart.
A VERY simple story involving Truth – thank you Victoria and Frank for your frankness.
“….the last few years has been a win-win situation for both of us, and I’m sure the same applies to many other couples who attend Universal Medicine presentations and workshops.” I observe so many couples amongst the Universal Medicine community who are deepening and committing to more love in their relationships – as you say win-win for everyone, not just the couples themselves.
A beautiful story of two people meeting and committing. “I would go as far to say that there are many more couples positively impacted by their involvement in UM than not.” I agree and with those that have chosen to separate – for whatever reason – I have never witnessed more loving separations – staying respectful and open without acrimony. This has to be the new way of divorce surely? Unheard of until Univesal Medicine.
This is a great blog, Universal Medicine have definitely shown me that when we live by truth, our life is far more simple, and when we choose to live in comfort our life gets caught up in complication and drama. I have chosen to live more simply because it is far more supportive for me, my body and all those around me.
It’s so inspiring to read of a relationship built on truth, respect, love and true care as it’s foundation and with the willingness to keep growing/expanding the relationship, as you both are doing. Thank-you Frank and Victoria.
Thanks Deidre, foundation is such a key word, and the qualities of that foundation are most important. I had another relationship which was clearly built with a foundation of ‘an arrangement’, there was no growth, no true connection, and in the end a feeling of just going nowhere. I guess it’s just like a house or a building, without a solid foundation after time the cracks will appear.
This is a great story to read, it shows so clearly that it is just a matter of choice to resist the truth or to embrace it and live it to the best of your ability.
“He didn’t try to sell me an idea or concept, he was just pleased to know that I was willing to listen and then make up my own mind.” Choosing to listen to Serge Benhayon and become a student of Universal Medicine has been the best medicine I have ever taken. My relationship with myself, my husband, family, friends and humanity has been transformed with a deep understanding of true love for myself and all others.
So true Mary, relationships all round can grow and blossom to a deeper level when we put ideals and false beliefs behind us, and open ourselves to the possibility that there is a different way of living. Thank you Serge (and Victoria) for showing me that there is another way…
Thank you Victoria and Frank for sharing the joy and simplicity of your relationship – it’s super inspiring in a world with ever-increasing divorce rates and intimacy issues.
You’re very welcome Shelly. I didn’t realise so many relationships struggled or failed, and certainly didn’t know why. What I do know, now, is that the ease and simplicity Victoria and I share in our relationship is special and should be cherished, but more importantly it should be shared with others.
Thank you for sharing this with us all Frank. The more couples like you share how it actually is to live in a harmonious and loving relationship, the more this reminds us all that the disharmony and struggle that so often defines marriages does not need to be accepted as normal.
It’s very easy to accept what is mostly around us as the ‘normal’ even though deep down we know it doesn’t feel right or true.
Great point Frank. We know exactly what is and isn’t true and so it comes down to whether we want to offer a reflection that is true or hide and offer a reflection that confirms the lies.
That’s a great analogy: in my experience trying to fix anything has usually ended up with complications and I have used it as a great distraction for not dealing with my side of the street.
It is such a simple principal Frank and one that humanity seems to struggle with, I know personally that starting learning to treat myself with deep respecting love, started with saying no to many things that were not supporting and replacing them with choices that were nurturing. it was really basic things like, drinking enough water and getting a good nights sleep, dressing in a way that supports me, eating nourishing food.
Someone once told me that if you look after your side of the street, the other side will naturally fall into place as well – sound advice. Trying to ‘fix’ our partner (personal or business or whatever) will never work, looking inwardly at what we live and breathe provides the perfect reflection to everyone around us.
Since taking part in Universal Medicine workshops and presentations my relationships have improved with friends, family, my partner and work colleagues.
One thing Victoria and I have found (and love) is the general ‘ease’ in our relationship, not all the time but more often than not. Having this same ease in other relationships is often more difficult but the more it is seen in the world the more people will find there is another way to be with ourselves and each other. Society can only blossom if we build and work on ourselves and our personal relationships with everyone – based on the simple principal of treating ourselves and everyone with a deep respecting love.
It’s very clear that you both have an incredibly deep commitment to yourselves and to your relationship being based on truth, love and harmony. I feel it in the blog, so relaxed, easy and flowing. I met my partner at a Unimed retreat and together we are walking the harmonious path also. It isn’t always like that but we know what we have both chosen and if it wasn’t for the work of Universal Medicine we would not have come this far together.
An ability and willingness to know, accept and express the truth about ourselves is vital for a relationship to flourish, this is what Universal Medicine has given me, and has resulted in a continually deepening connection in all my relationships. When both people are open in this way the potential for deepening intimacy is huge.
Thanks 1timrobinson for sharing your experience. We often focus on our relationship with our partner, but as you say all our relationships benefit when we have the openness to hear what another person is saying, and equally express what we feel to them openly, without judgement or fear. It’s amazing what can happen in those interactions…..
I love the simplicity and true commitment to each other that you describe. Everything happens for a reason so the divine plan was clearly at work for you both.
So true Patricia, when I look back at our meeting, the ‘chances’ of that happening were very slim, there had to be a divine plan working in the background guiding us to what is needed. Clearly our relationship is something we both needed to experience, but more than that, it needed to be seen in the world that it is possible to live in harmony (most of the time of course – there is no perfection).
I agree Sue. What this shows us is the power of self love in developing a relationship with ourselves and our bodies, and how this is the foundation for building relationships with all others.
One thing I recall, and love the simplicity, of was our decision to get married. It was a clear mutual discussion not a case of I asked Victoria or vice-versa. When the idea presented itself it was like a door opened and when looking through the door to the future there was nothing but open and endless opportunities. Not for a split second did I have any doubt or questions about where we would live, how it would work, or if it was actually the right thing to do – no questions, just a knowing that it was a clear path to take…
Such a beautiful sharing Frank and Victoria on the power of true love. I know of many relationships that have deepened their love and commitment enormously with the support offered by Universal Medicine, for the media to say otherwise just shows the lack of integrity from the journalists to ignore the truth and present a story based on lies.
It is good to hear of couples evolving together thanks to Universal Medicine. Although I alone attend the presentations of Universal Medicine the relationship with my partner has improved many folds.
I can relate and agree to your blog, Victoria and Frank, as all of my relationships have changed, since I attend the presentations from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Becoming honest with oneself and especially much more responsible for everything that occurs to me in my life, alongside developing self-love, is a great foundation for much deeper relationships, then I have ever been able to live before. Knowing myself to a deeper level than ever, healing hurts, why I lived my whole life behind a solid wall of protection, is an improvement of my life I have always searched for. The “wall” was retrospective always the reason for relationships to collapse. With my partner I am now living a level of honesty and love, and unfolding width, beauty, and tenderness that I am deeply grateful for. And it is not only with my partner, but with everyone around me. Of course as a work in progress, but without the solid wall, always hindering true connection.
Thank you so much for sharing from both sides. It was really great to read. I would totally agree with your point that Universal Medicine is never to blame for a couple breaking up, otherwise I could blame a number of Fitness First classes for the break ups in my life. There have to be cracks in the relationship and there has to be an unwillingness to work on it. Great blog. I too join the gruntled crew 🙂
Gorgeous to read your love filled stories. An organization can never be the true reason for a relation break-up. That is blaming another and putting responsibility for your relationship outside yourself. If something was already ‘cooking’ and 2 people are not willing to take responsibility to choose love over anything then a break-up becomes an option.
This is a gorgeous sharing and a powerful counter to the rubbish being spread about Universal Medicine’s detrimental affect on relationships. The love and respect you have for each other is deeply felt and alongside your commitment to yourselves and each other, is clearly strengthened by your involvement with Universal Medicine… and truly beautiful to read.
Exactly Samantha, what Frank and Victoria share about Universal Medicine is so simple but true – just like all truths they leave you feeling complete!
I loved hearing about your relationship and how it has blossomed, and have observed many relationships flourish with one or both partners attending Universal Medicine.
Thank you both for writing this blog and correcting the mis-truths that have been written aboutUniversal Medicine. What you have written reflects what I see amongst the student body, many open and honest relationships where there is a willingness to explore what is not true rather than ignore it in the hope it goes away.
Beautiful Frank and Victoria. I have been witness to your relationship over the years and remember first meeting you Frank when you first started attending Universal Medicine Events. I am inspired Victoria by your openness in not holding back and for Frank for being so open and courageous to say yes to love, for that is indeed what you have both willingly committed to. Thank you for sharing yourselves and your love with us.
Thank you for sharing Frank and Victoria, it’s beautiful to hear about your connection with each other and how attending Universal Medicine events has only strengthened your relationship.
Adore feeling the truth, love, honesty and commitment that has formed the true backbone of your relationship. Feels like Universal Medicine has simply helped support a deepening of your foundation of love together. Amazing!
Thank you for sharing the simplicity of the love and care you both choose to live.
What a testimony! You guys are an awesome reflection of the truth. Thanks!
So I never read anything from Frank’s story of a weak minded women who’s controlled by a cult… The complete opposite – where he spoke it was perfectly clear there was a deep, honest reality, no false façade, no attempt to impress, just a genuinely open, kind and caring person. I’ve never seen that from anyone who has been in some sort of abusive relationship.
Thank you for sharing your story. We attended our first presentation by Serge Benhayon together in 2006 and have since participated in many courses and workshops presented by Universal Medicine and our relationship has become so much more open and honest as we grow in understanding and deepening our love for ourselves, each other, and all those we meet. Beautifully “gruntled”.
That is a beautiful Story. So great to hear this celebration of your connection. I loved Franks Line “it was perfectly clear that she was special, and I knew that the moment I looked into her eyes. There was a deep, honest reality, no false façade, no attempt to impress, just a genuinely open, kind and caring person. I thought, “Where has she been hiding for the last 30 years?”
Thank you Frank and Victoria for sharing your love-full story.
Thank you for sharing your beautiful and simple life with us, it is a joy and blessing to read about relationships that are simply based on love and joy.
I love what you have shared Victoria and Frank – and great to hear how Universal Medicine has been a key factor in supporting your relationship with selves as well as your relationship with each other. People need to hear this side of things and get to see how the media can twist the truth and make it look like Universal Medicine is the cause of broken marriages – what rubbish! I can certainly say too that my marriage and my relationships have only gotten stronger and more beautiful since being associated with Universal Medicine.
Frank and Victoria that’s how relationships should be, simple,caring and loving. We have so few examples of these relationships in films, on TV or even in real life, as far as relationships go so many people don’t know how amazing they can be, all of the time.
Thank you Frank & Victoria, it is so lovely and very honoring to read about your relationship with each other and with Universal Medicine. Beautiful to feel your loving connection with each other.
I have been inspired by other ‘gruntled’ couples who have built loving relationships. This should be the norm in society but sadly, from my perspective, it is not.
I absolutely loved hearing about the relationship from both sides. I thought it was really cool Victoria how you explained the way you lived and why. To me that was making your standards locked in stone and open to see. I liked how normal Frank viewed this to be as well. Again, very cool blog to read.
An inspiring article to read. Thankyou Victoria and Frank for sharing so honestly.
Gorgeous to read and I can feel the genuineness and honesty that is coming from both of you. I would say if people have a problem with how someone else lives, then the actual problem lies within themselves in looking outside to blame or accuse for what they are not happy about. Living a life that is loving, supportive and joy-full is nothing to be shameful about, but instead should be celebrated, because come on .. when you look at what is going on in the world not everyone is living a loving, supportive and joy-full life .. not yet anyway ; )
This is a very sweet story, it says a lot about the people that attend Universal Medicine and the relationship outcomes that can be had when the Livingness is truly embraced.
Brilliant to read your stories, there is nothing in what you present that ties in at all with what the “disgruntled” claim to be their experience of Universal Medicine. It is difficult to argue with the simplicity of the way of living you both describe, whether others wish to live this way or not is a personal choice. I can’t help but feel that those that take strong issue with Universal Medicine have perhaps not fully taken responsibility for how their lives are being lived. After all it can be easier to blame another than consider our own role in what is before us.
Thank you for sharing your story Frank & Victoria. I too am one of the gruntled many. My marriage has gone from strength to strength since, first my wife and then I, started attending some Universal Medicine workshops and presentations. We had been together for 6 years and married for 1 before my wife first attended a presentation from Universal Medicine. Our relationship was great before we started attending presentations but now there is a depth of love and quality in our connection and commitment that I did not know was possible. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have been a huge support for us.
It is a pity that the media does not print this story, relationships are struggling in todays society, the divorce rates reflect this. So if there is another way to heal our relationships wouldn’t it be worth an investigation. Healing like this deserves the support of the media, unless people are not seen as important when it comes to headlines.
Its lovely how you have shared all of this together but in your own way. How great to read about your gruntledness Victoria and Frank. When we make truth our foundation it definitely is a ‘win-win’.
Thank you for sharing with the world how universal medicine supports relationships – as you say Victoria, if we blaming an organisation for something that is not working in our relationships then really the individual(s) need to look deeper at what is truly going on for them. It was beautiful to read your ‘true love’ story.
A great story to read, and the way you’ve come together is very inspiring, no hassle, just love.
You’re absolutely right Benkt – never was there or has there been any hassle – just love. This has been the first relationship I’ve had where it’s been that way… as I always knew it could be. For that I have to thank Universal Medicine – for the outstanding personal development opportunities they offer; Serge and Miranda Benhayon – for their exquisite role modelling; the Universe – for brining us together; my gorgeous husband Francis – for his ever-steady love; and myself – for being willing to evolve.
Universal Medicine has made a change to relationships and from what I have witnessed the majority of them are changes for the better, and using the word better is an understatement.
This was so sweet to read both your stories. A true love story. Thank you.
When a relationship is more of an arrangement and then truth comes in, it can be to hard for a person to face that and take responsability. Yes then a relationship can end, if both decide to make other choices. Never can an organization or an outsider be blamed, that would be to easy!
So great to read a ‘his and hers’ story. Thanks so much for presenting your facts to us all. There is always 2 sides to every story, and you guys have shared both equally and honestly. Awesome!
Yes, I loved the his and hers too and the respect felt from both In their writing
Frank and Victoria how refreshing to read the impact of Universal Medicine on your lives and how you both are together. My 36 year relationship has also been deeply supported by the teachings of Universal Medicine. In fact, we were close to separating and with some wise words from Serge Benhayon I realised that I had closed off to my husband due to all the hurts in our relationship. This is still a work in progress but I can say that we no longer scream and fight everyday and each is bringing a greater understanding and love for each other as part of our everyday. Every day I thank God for Serge Benhayon as he has shown me the gift of choosing love in every moment and with everybody no matter what has come before!
This is my experience of Serge Benhayon and his approach to relationships, in that, he supports people to deal with their issues within a relationship, he never encourages people to run away from their issues or their responsibilities. I was having some issues with a person I worked with and during that time Serge Benhayon and other practitioners supported me in dealing with these issues and taking responsibility for part. This support was amazing and provided me with much growth and understanding and meant that I didn’t just quit my job. So thank you Serge Benhayon for supporting yet another relationship.
Thank you for your comment Sharon. It is very inspiring to read how you were close to separating and then taking responsibility to deal with your hurts and now have a greater understanding and love for your partner.
Great sharing! Bring out the truth, that are the stories the media should tell as they are amazing, life changing, inspiring and love filled. Why are they so keen writing about misery when there are so many joyful and lovely couples around?
Thank you for sharing this in a blog. Since taking part in Universal Medicine workshops and presentations my relationships have improved with friends, family, my partner, work colleagues. I am able to be more open, honest and supportive and would like to thank Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and myself for enabling this to happen.
And there it is.. the truth about universal medicine. I look forward to reading your story in the media.
Coming from a difficult history of relationships I can only appreciate the amazing, unparalleled, support to relationships from Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. I cannot but deeply appreciate every single magnificent insight regarding relationships we get from Serge as well.
Thank you Frank and Victoria. I had so much fun reading about how you met. It really is an inspiring love story.
For most of my life I felt given up when it came to intimate relationships. It is only since Universal Medicine became a part of my life that I have truly begun to be open to being in a relationship and I feel this is because I have learned to be more loving with myself. There are so many love stories made possible by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
I have witnessed the most beautiful relationships blossom into the most respectful, loving and naturally uplifting kind I have ever known in the Universal Medicine student body too. All manner of relationships have blossomed – relationships between people and themselves, people with friends, family members and between lovers. They are a delight and so inspiring and I think why settle for less than love when I now know it is possible.
I really agree with your comment Jeannette. I am one that was so closed and so contracted and was so hurt by the world, that I was not game to let anyone in or show anyone that I really cared about them. I have been studying the teachings from Universal Medicine now for 4 years and I have come so far, and now have some very loving and supportive relationships in my life that continue to go from strength to strength. It is an amazing transformation.
I can attest to the love that has transformed you Natasha, amazing to feel your evolution.
How refreshing to read your lovely story Victoria and Frank. I see wonderful relationships all around me when I attend Universal Medicine events – old and new marriages, long term couples and new blossoming relationships. To say that students of the Way of the Livingness are flourishing in their partnerships, friendships and work places would be an absolute true story.
Thank you Frank, Victoria and joanneswinton, I agree, the variety of relationships that have blossomed and the true feelings between the students of the Livingness is an “absolute true story” that should be front-page news. Friends, relationships, couples, old, young, separated, divorced, single, married, partners and Serge Benhayon all live and share what a loving brotherhood is all about.
I too loved reading and feeling both sides of your relationship – a beautiful evolving true love story.
Gorgeous! I feel completely gruntled having read about your relationship, and the simple “no-big-dealness” of it. The way you live inspires me, just love, no drama. What more could anyone ask for?
Puts to rest certain rumours that have been mongered, trying to make out that men are irreversibly scarred when they breath gently and stop eating gluten!
Thank you Victoria and Frank for sharing your relationship, inspiring the rest of us in your words and living way.
Good point Dragana,
I am with a devoted loyal man, he has been a rock in my life, but I am aware for many years I relied on him to bring the happiness to me, I had no way of generating it from within myself.
Now thanks to Universal Medicine I have learned to bring that loveliness to me and to express it out- wow that’s a whole new way to be in a relationship. I don’t need it from him like I used to, I can bring so much more to him too!
A true Love story. Reading your story this is what I felt. True love is not emotional in any way – it is a way of living that takes deep care of yourself and of all others with that, it is honest and open, like what you saw Frank in Victoria’s eyes. Truly beautiful – thank you for sharing.
Absolutely Frank & Victoria, there are so many positive stories. My husband and I have become students of universal medicine and I began only a few months prior to my husband and honestly had we not come across Unimed we would probably be separated or divorced!
This is a really important article because of how the media has presented sensationalist articles stating Universal Medicine breaks up marriages/families. We do need blogs like this because they represent the truth. My involvement with Universal Medicine has also had a very positive affect on my own relationship, and I have also witnessed many couples become more harmonious and loving with each other as a direct result of what Serge Benhayon presents about day to day life. What you have shown in your blog is how simple, practical and down to earth the Universal Medicine message is. It’s just a way to live that’s more caring and loving of the self.
Thank you for your sharing, Victoria and Frank. What touches me most is the simplicity I can feel is in your life. It is inspirational how the simplicity of how you listen to your bodies and take responsibility supports you in having a loving relationship.
It is interesting isn’t it, that we mostly all want relationships with intimacy, and we all mostly want love in our lives. It is an inherent quality within us. But that we as a society have so many ideals and beliefs about what a relationship needs to grow and thrive. What seems to be the truth and simplicity of a great relationship involves self-care and self responsibility and then sharing those attributes with others. Something we all can do.
What a great blog, so lovely to share the experiences you have had in your relationship and through the inspiration from Universal Medicine. I am in a relationship of 12 years and I can say with out any doubt that it has improved and deepen beyond measure through making a choice to be more honest about my responsibility.
Thanks Frank and Victoria for sharing your story of living a great loving relationship, and the positive effects of doing self development and healing both as individuals and together.
Being mindful of the potential of never-ending development is how we’ve kept our relationship dynamic. There’s always more to learn and discover, so it never gets dull.
I loved hearing and feeling about the dynamic nature of your relationship and despite an obvious deep level of commitment to the relationship how you have not seemed to lose yourself in each other.Thanks Victoria and Frank!
Very inspiring story and great to hear that you are still going strong. It just goes to show what is possible when both parties in a relationship are willing to work on things and be totally committed to developing the relationship.
That’s awesome Anne, especially today with divorce rates so high. It will be interesting in years to come to compare Universal Medicine stats for relationship longevity and satisfaction with that of the general population.
Simplicity is a good word, we both relate to that. And playfulness! These are key ingredients in our relationship.
What as lovely blog Victoria and Frank. So great to hear such positive experiences in your relationship come from being involved in Universal Medicine and Franks openness to experiencing this . Congratulations.
Thank you Roslyn, though I know we’re not alone in this. Many of the couples I’ve met via Universal Medicine have enriched their relationships – as have those who are single.