Our Relationship & Universal Medicine – Just One of the ‘Gruntled’ Many

by Frank Tybislawski and Victoria Lister, Brisbane Australia

It appears the recent media interest in Universal Medicine (UniMed) is the result of some rather vigorous pot stirring by a ‘disgruntled few’ – a handful of men who lay blame for the demise of their relationships at the feet of Universal Medicine. Happily, we can report the opposite is true for us: although we didn’t meet via UM, our involvement in the organisation has only strengthened our relationship and we are both the better for it – singularly, and as a couple. Here, we present a ‘his’n’hers’ version of events, in which we discuss how one of us was already a regular participant, how one of us wasn’t, how no-one felt threatened by the supposed inequity, how we both feel totally ‘gruntled’ about our relationship and UM, and how we know many others who would claim the same.

Victoria’s story:

I’m just going to provide some context – because the real heart of the story lies with Frank, as the one half of the equation who hadn’t heard of UniMed when we met and (if the media are to be believed), as a ‘vulnerable man’ in a supposedly female-dominant student body, had the most to lose.

At the time, I’d been attending Universal Medicine courses, workshops and healing sessions for about three years. I’d made some significant changes to my life and was choosing to live in a way that would soon be obvious to anyone seeking to get to know me: I was eating a gluten and dairy-free diet, I no longer drank alcohol, I went to bed at a sensible time, and so on. All the men I’d dated since making these changes had run a million miles, and while I could feel Frank was different, I couldn’t truly know how he’d react.

So one day, fairly early in the piece, I told him how I was living, and why. Thankfully, he stayed in his chair long enough to hear me out, asked sensible questions, told me he wasn’t much interested in alcohol anyway, had been thinking about eliminating gluten and all dairy from his diet (he’d already given away full cream milk and cheesy things), and didn’t think I was weird. Soon thereafter he offered to come with me to a UniMed event and I have to say, he took to it like a duck to water.

We haven’t looked back. We started living together pretty soon after, and 13 months from meeting, married with minimal fanfare in a registry. We’ve now clocked up three years, and live harmoniously and playfully together in an inner city unit so small it’d soon show up if we didn’t.

The Universal Medicine presentations we attend, and the simplicity with which we live are magical, and very much enhance the quality of our relationship. There are no ‘issues’ and we never fight; we simply have areas of our partnership that we independently and collectively explore and are open to developing. And… we’re not the only coupled students of UM who live like this – we have many amazing friends doing similarly all around us.

Indeed, I would go as far to say that there are many more couples positively impacted by their involvement in UM than not. And if I were to choose the one thing Universal Medicine might be said to stand for, it would be the truth – and if two people haven’t stayed the distance, it is simply because one, or both, have brought truth into the equation. Blaming an organisation for the end of your relationship? That doesn’t make sense to me.

Frank’s story: 

As Victoria said, I had never heard of Serge Benhayon or Universal Medicine until after I met Victoria. I do recall sitting across the dinner table with Victoria, in the early days of our relationship, where she would tell me all sorts of things about Universal Medicine, but there was certainly nothing at all to make me fear anything about her, or the organisation. Indeed, I had already discovered that certain dairy products played havoc with my digestion and had cut them from my diet. I had already planned to exclude gluten from my diet as I knew ‘something else’ wasn’t right, and knew a friend who had done the same with amazing changes in his health, which totally surprised his doctor. I was also intrigued that it could be possible to live in a very self-caring way, making very discerning choices, and that it was simple to do. Having a partner living the same way, with a similar diet, was just a win-win situation and provided a very solid and supportive framework to make that easy to accomplish.

Soon after meeting Victoria I decided to attend a Universal Medicine presentation, keen to know more, keen to meet other people who simply lived in a similar self-caring way. I also got to meet Serge, and I have to say it was like meeting an old friend; there was a feeling of equality between us, an openness. He didn’t try to sell me an idea or concept, he was just pleased to know that I was willing to listen and then make up my own mind.

Back to Victoria and I; it was perfectly clear that she was special, and I knew that the moment I looked into her eyes. There was a deep, honest reality, no false façade, no attempt to impress, just a genuinely open, kind and caring person. I thought, “Where has she been hiding for the last 30 years?”. Our meeting was amazing, our first date was lovely, but more importantly it was all so easy and simple. It was the same when I decided to move in – and soon after when we agreed to marry.

I can easily see the effect Universal Medicine has had on Victoria and I over the last few years. We take better care of ourselves than we ever have before, and we have more respect for each other as individuals. The extra weight I had been slowly gaining while working in Central Queensland just fell away with no effort at all, and my sleep quality also improved. Although I do shift-work, we live in very similar ways so it is very easy to interact together as a couple on a daily basis. Although we take this seriously we also have a lot of fun and laughs together. As I said before, the last few years has been a win-win situation for both of us, and I’m sure the same applies to many other couples who attend Universal Medicine presentations and workshops.

232 thoughts on “Our Relationship & Universal Medicine – Just One of the ‘Gruntled’ Many

  1. I love your story and what you say Frank sums it up so beautifully “… more importantly it was all so easy and simple.”

  2. Victoria, this is spot on: “Blaming an organisation for the end of your relationship? That doesn’t make sense to me.” – this is a scape goat method of not wanting to take responsibility for ones own part in the game. I love what you have shared and how you have shared it in this blog – very refreshing indeed and helps to dispel some of the nasty lies that abound around Universal Medicine being the so called cause of relationship breakdowns and divorces. If anything, Universal Medicine has helped so many relationships including mine – I have so much more love, care and respect in my relationship today which is a blessing indeed.

  3. Frank – I love your appreciation of the fact that in a relationship it is about learning from each other, and that it is also about being there to support each other with loving choices. “I was also intrigued that it could be possible to live in a very self-caring way, making very discerning choices, and that it was simple to do. Having a partner living the same way, with a similar diet, was just a win-win situation and provided a very solid and supportive framework to make that easy to accomplish.” – A solid caring relationship forms a foundation of growth for both people in a couple and all around. It is like stepping stones that we each lay in front of us in turns so that we can hop along together and hence grow and evolve both as individuals and as a couple. How beautiful – I have really enjoyed both of your sharings – thank you!

  4. I love you comment Victoria: “Blaming an organisation for the end of your relationship? That doesn’t make sense to me.” Blame is a fantastic tool when you want to avoid responsibility.

  5. Thankyou Frank and Victoria, for me the heart of what Universal Medicine offers is to make life about love – that has got to be good for relationships! It has certain impacted all of my relationships is very positive ways including my relationship with myself.

  6. To me, the ‘disgruntled few’ have revealed just how readily we seek to blame factors outside of a relationship when things move out of our control. Sure, when one party begins to make some changes in their lives – as you’ve shared here Victoria and Frank, changes that actually speak of taking deeper care for oneself – boats can be rocked. And all hell may break loose when one partner says ‘no’ to abuses emotional and otherwise, that he or she can simply no longer accept.
    What dark sides of human behaviour can be exhibited when we can no longer dominate and control… It seems we’d rather seek to destroy whomever outside of the relationship we’ve chosen to blame, rather than actually take a moment to reflect upon what a change of circumstance is showing, if not offering us, in terms of our own growth in the relationships of our lives.

  7. There are really two kinds of relationship we can have, aren’t there… In one, we seek to confirm the well-worn habits, ruts and known behaviours that have suited us in our lives – we don’t really want change, and however strained things may even be at times, at least this is a ‘known’ and we’d rather stay with the ‘known’ than truly honour any stirrings of self-claiming that arise from within from time to time… We may even convince ourselves that this is ‘as good as it gets’…
    In the second, we are deeply willing to be with each other and also recognise that life isn’t just about securing our own ‘nest’, and finding a way of traversing the well-worn ruts that are comfortable to us. We are actually willing to acknowledge that basically, our relationship is not just about ‘us’, it’s about living in a way where one’s love for one’s partner has no static point. It’s about living in a way where we are willing to be not only challenged by each other’s growth and deepening, but deeply inspired by this – to support and allow each other the space to be all that they truly are, and deal with ANY hindrances (inclusive of personal need…) that would want to quash this in any way whatsoever. In this, it’s essentially about evolution, i.e. our return to all that we are and a rich and soul-full way of living that embraces all in our love. Old ways of ‘accepted compromise’ and the rest, simply have no place, and can be met through the commitment intrinsic to such a relationship, ever aware that none of it – none of what we are and represent together – is about ‘us’ alone.

  8. When a relationship fails too many look high and low to blame someone or something else but one thing I am learning more and more is that we are all fully and completely responsible for how our life unfolds whatever that may be and in whichever direction it may go.

  9. As you say Frank living in an intimate relationship is actually a win-win situation as when we choose for growth and prosperity we do actually support one another in this development and any moment will be further evolved than the moment before, a continuous learning and growing. That is a beautiful way to live with one another as it has a purpose to it that is so completely different from living in an arrangement, where you are limiting development and growth by the spoken or unspoken agreements being made and laid in the foundation of the relationship.

  10. I was single for many years before UniMed and after a few years I entered a relationship with another student and I have learnt so much about loving myself and the responsibility I hold. In past relationships it was all based on need and fantasy living up to an image and picture of what love looked like relying on the relationship to fulfill what I was not bringing to myself. It has been the most profound experience letting out the depth of my love which grows exponentially day by day. Living in an esoteric relationship is love where before it was emotional need. Worlds a part – makes sense why this is reaction!

  11. As someone who lived my life totally shut off to others, on the surface friendly enough and got along with everyone, often the life of the party, underneath this I never truly let people get too close. Thank goodness for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine- which has supported me to deeply love and value myself and be able to share that with others and open up to a relationship.

  12. Victoria you said it perfectly when you stated that it’s not UM that causes the upheaval in a relationship but the truth that one party has brought. When all that is love, is brought to a relationship, all that is not comes to the surface to be cleared.

      1. Total Aimee, and if blame has slipped into the relationship you know evolution has not been the chosen path.

  13. Publishing stories about truly successful couples doesn’t sell papers anywhere near as much as coming up with dramatised fiction about some ‘cult’. This says a lot about who is buying the papers and therefore financially supporting the sold-out journalists who print the rubbish.

  14. Beautiful to hear a couple expressing with such love together in a blog like this. It is a simple way of life and it is completely un-harmful, in my opinion anyone that says any different clearly has an agenda.

  15. The Ageless Wisdom is a truth we all know and can feel. Serge Benhayon presents and inspires a way of living that develops our awareness of this truth.

  16. What a wonderfully honest testimonial not just to the life changing presentations of Universal Medicine but to the quality of life that you each have brought into your relationship. It feels so ordinary and natural to do so but at the same time I can feel the amazing reflection you are offering to others that a relationship like yours is absolutely possible when you bring true love, equality and truth into the relationship equation.

  17. This is gorgeous and inspiring and yet so simple and natural way to be with another. I came to Universal Medicine for a few years before my husband joined me for a workshop, and I remember him having a smile from ear to ear and feeling completely connected to after meeting with Serge Benhayon for a few minutes. We were together 17 years before meeting Universal Medicine and are still together 9 years later. Universal Medicine and The Way of the Livingness has only supported our relationship to grow and deepen and become so much more stable and real, then it was before.

  18. What this beautiful story clearly reveals is that Universal Medicine cannot be factored in at all as a negative point regarding relationships (as some interested press and a few detractors want us to believe). Victoria and Frank’s stories make clear, that such assertion is simply false.

  19. Its a strange world that we live in where we have to worry about telling someone that we don’t drink alcohol and go to bed early! Its the sort of advice we give our kids when they are growing up, so rather than telling them, how about living it and enjoying the same benefits… which is to be feeling ourselves.

  20. There is a narrative that when you are different with religious aspects you are a cult. Such a narrative requires that participants get damaged. When the narrative doesn’t fit, it seems to be very tempting to fill the space with untruths.

  21. When we consider the true meaning of love in relationships, it is no wonder some people react or even attack that…for true love exposes every thing and every person invested in what love is not.

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