by Angela Perin, Brisbane, QLD, Australia
In my life, dancing has been something I’ve attempted, but never really ‘got’. I remember ‘trying’ to get it at the high-school discos – trying to get my body to do the fancy and smooth moves that I saw some of my friends do; trying to exude the confidence that some of them had appeared to master – never missing a beat and technically faultless. The point is, I always felt somewhat awkward. There was something not quite right, and I never felt like I could really let go…
Of course there were the odd flashing moments when I didn’t feel this awkwardness – such as dancing in the privacy of my own bathroom or bedroom (quickly brought to an embarrassing halt when I realised someone was watching!), but this was not consistent. So I settled for imagining what it would be like to dance with absolute freedom and joy, almost (as the saying goes) as if ‘no-one was watching’…
In my high school years, there were the odd (and very brief) moments of connection (when my body and head were on the same page), but mostly I was ‘trying’ in my head to ‘pre-think’ the move and get something together, and the truth was, my body just wasn’t following the instructions! Although on the outside I probably didn’t look as awkward as I felt (I still had some mastery of beat and rhythm), I knew that the way I danced was not totally comfortable… there was still an awareness of not feeling totally comfortable in my body, and I was subtly aware that there was ‘effort’ required to get the moves, which just didn’t seem natural, and felt forced – even when from the outside, they may have looked ok.
In my 20’s and 30’s, the only time I really felt comfortable dancing was after a few (or a lot of) drinks. The alcohol seemed to give me a sense of confidence that I didn’t have otherwise, but looking back – even then, I was aware that I didn’t feel ‘me’… Even though I felt more outwardly confident with my dance moves, they were over-exaggerated (to the point of being plain silly/ridiculous at times). It simply didn’t really feel like it was ‘me’ dancing, and I felt a very strong sense of having to put on a display and show off (which I must add, I had mastered quite well!). Overall, I could feel there was a disconnection from me when I danced under the influence of alcohol, so I can’t really say ‘I’ owned the dancing or felt ‘in’ or ‘with’ my body.
So the feeling of actually dancing just for me was something that largely eluded me through most of my life, and to be honest, I hadn’t really given it any further thought until a few weeks ago…
Now, imagine what it would feel like to be in a large group of people that were all dancing for themselves but with everyone else at the same time? Imagine if there was no alcohol and no drugs, no-one trying or needing to out-compete or out-dance the other, and no-one judging or comparing another’s dance moves. In fact, what if you had people actually celebrating each other’s dance moves? Not by way of “Oh no, you’re ‘better’ than me”, but “Wow, I’m inspired by you”. And – what if there was nothing to prove or achieve (as in getting recognition) by this dancing? What if it was simply a natural expression and way of celebration?
Impossible you say? I say not.
The end of year Universal Medicine concert and dance celebration at Lennox Head on 15th December 2012 was absolute confirmation to me that dancing has nothing to do with ‘proving’ anything: it is not about showing off, comparison, judgment or envy, and it is definitely not about how many people are watching you, or having ‘better’ or more technically advanced or coordinated dance moves than another.
I experienced (in myself and in observing others) that dancing can be a celebration of who you truly are.
In the case of last weekend, the dancing was truly amazing, full of vitality, and absolute fun and joy! What I felt was an expression of a group of people celebrating themselves and each other. There was no ‘hype’ or ‘prep’ or artificial stimulus (i.e. alcohol, drugs etc.) for people to get in the mood – the dance was simply a natural extension of the amazing presentations and concert that had preceded the dance. And because of this, there was no ‘let down’ or ‘regret’ at the end of the dance and there was no ‘high’ to come down from.
For me, I realised at the end, that although I had stopped dancing, (by that stage I felt, [like I’m sure many others did!] that it was time for a shower and bed…), I didn’t stop being ‘me’, and that’s why I continued to feel amazing after the dancing stopped. I didn’t feel less or more of me because of the dancing – I simply felt like me.
I never understood until this particular weekend what it truly meant to dance for, and dance with, me. My deepest thanks to Serge Benhayon, his family and Universal Medicine – not only for organising such an awesome end of year celebration, but for presenting, and inspiring by living example, the consistent commitment to re-connect to the body, and to allow the possibility for all expression (including dance) to come from that connection.
I say… bring on the celebrations of 2013!
“What I felt was an expression of a group of people celebrating themselves and each other.” Dancing with joy.
These days I love True Movement, dance and exercise if I start with it coming from being connected to my body. Without connection it just hurts.
Leigh I made a discovery, I was never a dancer as I could feel the restrictions I had placed on myself. But what I have noticed after committing to Move Fit which is an excise program, is just how much my body has changed. Move Fit has supported me enormously to let go of the ‘holding’ on patterns in my body and just allow myself to actually feel what’s going on in my body rather than either numbing myself or ignoring myself and pushing myself into drive because I don’t want to feel what’s going on in life.
So lovely to read this again, since my last read I’ve developed a much deeper connection to my body and the way I move, I can totally relate to sometimes moving in a way that’s premeditated but not a true expression, or just letting go and being myself, it feels totally different.
Dancing is an amazing confirmation and celebration of who we are in our expression. What a joy to share it with others in such equalness …
I have found dancing like a therapy, when I simply express me through my movements the results for my overall wellbeing have felt amazing.
Dancing is a whole body experience and an expression that we should all be able to do without feeling we have to fit into a picture of what is good dancing and what is not!
Come to think of it – why do we even have a situation where some of us feel awkward just moving our body as we want? Surely, that was how dance was in the beginning? Nobody to entertain or impress, but pure, simple, expression in movement. ‘Dance’ is just another thing that we have bastardised over the years, so that we started to feel the natural flow in our body and its movement should somehow be controlled/inhibited or even be ashamed of. Totally evil.
I have two left feet cannot dance for toffee as the saying goes. But this is no longer a truth that I live by. I have attended Universal Medicine true movement classes and discovered I can actually dance in a way that actually suits my body, and I now love to dance in my way. That was where I was going wrong if you like, I was trying to fit into the picture of what everyone else was doing on the dance floor and was not able to, and in that comparison and judging myself by the standards of other people. I condemned myself as not being able to dance, when actually I can.
‘Dance like no one is watching’ – this is sometimes one way to free ourselves from the pictures and projections that are out there regarding moving our body freely – however as you have shared Angela, true freedom of movement comes from the body and the mind moving together in way of natural celebration, a movement that comes from within and from that deep connection with our Soul.
I love that feeling when your body just knows how to move and you do not have to think about it – I have only ever experienced that with music from Michael Benhayon and the likes, where one is free to be and the music supports one to express through the body the light that we are.
Angela, this is such a beautiful reminder: “I experienced (in myself and in observing others) that dancing can be a celebration of who you truly are.” and as you have shared earlier in the post, this comes from when we drop any comparison, judgements, jealousy etc and just allow ourselves to simply be the amazing being that we are.
Being able to move in a way that is re-configuring our bodies is such a blessing, and we have many moves that have been presented by Serge Benhayon that deepen our awareness especially at celebration, as you have shared Angela.
Dancing for ourselves with total freedom is something we seldom do because we are too busy wondering what others think of us, so we try to pick up cool moves that make us look like we know what we are doing, however every time we do that, we are holding back our true expression.
ha ha yes and it looks so awkward! I find myself smiling whenever I watch someone dancing with that freedom, where they simply don’t care who is watching and it is just an expression of how they are feeling with no attachment to being watched or approved of.
I love to watch people who dance just for themselves and are totally uninhibited by others watching. To me this says a great deal about how they feel about themselves that inner confidence and self- adoration just shines through.
Angela your sharing could be written by many, included myself. I know very well about these teenage years where I didn’t feel good enough just being me. I didn’t know how to face up the changes that I was experiencing in my body. So escaping with alcohol was the key to feel more ‘confident’ despite the hangover and my feelings about myself didn’t change the day after. My way of being and thinking about myself didn’t change till I knew Serge Benhayon and other amazing practicioners from Universal Medicine. Then I started to realize that what I rejected about myself was the most precious value that I hold as a woman, my delicateness and that was totally ok moving my body from this quality. I’m experiencing many beautiful things by opening up to the fact that we all are equally precious. Today I appreciate the flavour of each one’s expression, what we bring is very unique and needed, that’s why comparison doesn’t make sense, and that’s why we are worthy to be celebrated daily.
It is a very different experience to dance without any alcohol or drugs running through ones veins and again much more joyous when the music itself comes from a place that is soulful, in the true sense of the word.
How many of us dance for ourselves? I have experienced it but I wouldn’t say it’s a regular occurrence. However walking for and with me I do do regularly and that feels lovely.
Coming to the understanding, that “dancing can be a celebration of who you truly are.” was for me such a liberation from the self-inflicted belief that whenever I danced it had to be perfect, otherwise I was embarrassed, especially if I felt others were dancing ‘better’ than I was. Attending several Universal Medicine events, where we danced, was the inspiration I needed to shatter this old belief and learn to dance for me, and that felt very wonderful indeed.
We think we are in rhythm when we dance under the influence of alcohol in that slightly dissociated effect and false confidence it gives us but I cannot but wonder what beat we are actually moving to.
And even if sober and dancing to the beat of music what is the quality of that beat? Sometimes kids can be ‘moving with the wrong crowd’ but anyone can if dancing to an ill beat.
I found your story from young quite cute, I found there was a lot of innocence in the way you described your relationship with dancing. And it sounded like you actually knew what was true to you when it came to being yourself. Dancing and feeling free to move in whatever way we feel like is awesome, I love that. Dancing when you have been drinking alcohol may feel more loose and free at the time but is really not, especially when you are sober and watch someone that’s drunk dance. It’s usually quite uncoordinated and a bit silly. So I salute you for enjoying dancing with you and with no alcohol in your body to take away the fun.
Such a big smile came across my face reading this today. One of the many thousands(millions maybe?) of moments where people are re-connecting to themselves, being themselves, and enjoying it out in the world. Love love love. Go Universal Medicine. Go people.
Letting go of pictures of how we think we should look or thinking we need to entertain or please others gives us the opportunity to sense from our body instead a way of moving that feels like our true expression, coming from an ease in ourself rather than with a ‘trying’.
Being true to ourselves, listening to and honouring our bodies with no ideals and pictures in the way makes so much sense.
To me too the celebration dancing at Universal Medicine events have allowed me feel that I can be completely me and in the movements my body then makes and all the other bodies with me, I can feel one, joyful and fulfilled with love.
There is so much joy and love at these celebrations organised by Universal Medicine.