My search for something more to life…

by Rosie Bason, Byron Bay

My search for something more to life first started when I was about 20 years old and living in the Caribbean. I started going to a guided meditation group, then I decided to learn Reiki but still continued to smoke and drink and eat foods that were not good for me.

I then studied for a diploma in Herbal medicine, learnt Kinesiology and several other modalities. I still continued to abuse my body; I would take drugs, smoke, eat junk food and not sleep properly… even though I had studied about the body and how it works. 

I then tried Buddhism: I would sit for half or sometimes an hour every day looking at a box on the wall with a special script in it and I would chant away, hoping that it would bring me enlightenment and make for a happier life. I got to the honesty that I did not like my life, but I did not know how to change it, other than read about Buddhism. At the same time I also read many well-known self-help and New Age books. I did all these hoping things would change, but without looking at me and taking responsibility… so I continued with my loveless lifestyle. I was not enjoying life and I was still searching for more to life.

It was not until I moved to Byron Bay and was introduced to Universal Medicine that it all changed. I remember having a session with an Esoteric Practitioner and getting really upset because I realised that everything that I had grown up thinking was true was actually so very far from truth. I felt that I had really gotten lost in all the ideals and beliefs that I had learnt about. I thought that I had to keep looking on the outside to find the happiness and to find joy – I had not realised that it started from within. I felt sad that no-one and no book or course had ever made it that simple for me. I felt angry that I had allowed myself to be fooled and that I had invested so much time and energy into all of these modalities that never taught me how to discern energy and how to truly connect to me.

For me the learning has never stopped since; I have become more aware of energy and I can feel it in my body. I can feel it when I choose to be connected to me, and when I am not. I can feel it in my body if I choose to eat something that is not good for me (I get bloated, or cramps, or worse, diarrhoea), I can feel it if I overwork, if I stay up too late, and I can feel it if I am doing something for another that really is at the expense of myself. I feel this as being tired, or my legs ache, or if I take a minute to lie still I can feel how fast and racy my whole body feels.

We can learn so much from our bodies if we just take the time to listen and feel. There is so much to learn when we can let go of our pride and our investments in the past and not feel shame, but make a choice to be more aware and make loving choices today.

233 thoughts on “My search for something more to life…

  1. We have an immense resource in our body, it is like a wise best friend, ‘We can learn so much from our bodies if we just take the time to listen and feel.’

  2. Every experience we have in life can be a great lesson for us to learn, when we open up and let go of the identification with the individual self. No need to be ashamed or apologetic when we are absolutely honest with ourselves.

  3. “We can learn so much from our bodies if we just take the time to listen and feel.” All those years in formal education and we are never taught this most important lesson in life.

  4. True knowing lets us know that we do not know it all, that we are a forever student. Life is about learning to move with and in response to the constant expansion. Accumulating knowledge and building a vault and locking it for safe-keeping is not it.

  5. “There is so much to learn when we can let go of our pride and our investments in the past and not feel shame, but make a choice to be more aware and make loving choices today.” There is a deep honesty and humility to learning, if we can’t let go of something harmful or are staying stuck we may have investments or hurts, etc, preventing us from staying open and going to the next level of learning and understanding.

  6. When we think we have learnt something that will better how we cope with life, to find that it only keeps us further away from who we are can be difficult to accept. It is only through feeling things for ourselves that we get to truly accept and make changes to our lives.

  7. Whats so beautiful about the presentations and courses of Universal Medicine is that they are forever evolving and offering us a chance to do the same.

  8. There are so many ways we can take on energy. What you have shared here are some very practical ways we can take a moment to consider if we are taking things on or have patterns of behaviour that are, in fact, harming us.

    1. Our body is such a wise best friend, ‘I have become more aware of energy and I can feel it in my body. I can feel it when I choose to be connected to me, and when I am not.’

  9. Those moments when you realise that something you have invested in and thought was the real deal wasn’t can be challenging to accept but nonetheless very awesome at the same time.

  10. “I got to the honesty that I did not like my life, but I did not know how to change it”. I can remember getting to this point in my life, many times, each time upping the search for something that I hoped would fix the mess I saw my life as, but all that searching did nothing but confuse me even further and take me further away from me. And like you it was not until I attended my first Universal Medicine event that my life began to make sense and the need for searching outside of me was no longer needed.

  11. You said it quite clear there, if the modality you’re engaged in is not considering the well-being of the body it gives itself away to be false doesn’t it. It’s hard to be healthy in a unhealthy body.

  12. My life has also been one of searching for what is true and twelve years ago I came to a ‘Universal Medicine’ workshop that presented something different but at the same time felt true in my body. After twelve years I am still learning how energy works through my body and what true energy feels like. The subtle differences at times have been confusing, manly because I am still numbing myself from truly feeling, by either ‘eating’ the foods that numb my body, or over eating those foods that would allow my body to expand. So I am still learning and still on the path of return, and a forever student of The Livingness. I will always bring all of me to everything I can to the best of my ability all the time! There are no short cuts I have found and it is simple to start out with Gentleness.

  13. Finding a happy way of being only at best would last a few hours but finding joy that is so much part of every day for the Students of The Livingness has turned the whole world on its proverbial head with a deepened understanding of true living and the meaning of life.

  14. The search for something more to life is clearly a sign that life is not it as it is. Yet, this search comes from a body and from a being that are where they are and that precisely because of this may knock into doors that are not truly good for them. There is more to life. But also and perhaps more significative, there is also more to ourselves, much more and perhaps this is a good place to start.

  15. It’s endless what we can learn moment to moment listening and feeling life and our body. Feeling is incorporating the body – thinking is using the mind — a vast difference.

    1. So often if I have thought about something without checking in with my body about it, chances are it’s a dead end and a very bad idea to follow that thought. Following what my body feels has only ever prospered.

  16. My wish for humanity is that we raise our children to keep their strong connection to their bodies. They have it in spades when they are young, they know what they want to eat, they stop when they are full, they respond when they are upset, they are full of joy etc… they know how to listen and respond to their bodies. Slowly they lose that out, they slowly sever their connection to their bodies, their being and they get consumed by the doing – being recognised for what they do, and often that comes at the expense of their bodies.

    The Way of the Livingness as presented by Universal Medicine, is showing people that there is a way to live in true connection to your bodies, and slowly but surely, more and more adults (and children) are re-connecting to their body’s wisdom and inspiring others around them to do the same.

  17. It’s amazing how the truth is and has always been there with us. Never has it not been, it is only obscured by our choices in how we live. Need and desire can blind us more than most could ever imagine.

  18. There is not an ounce of hope, wish or faith in what is presented by Universal Medicine, for it ignites or rather re-ignites a truth and knowing deep within us.

  19. When we seek outside ourselves for answers in trying to change our life, our lifestyle choices only keep us going round in circles until we learn to look within ourselves and reconnect to our inner knowing and the wisdom of the body. It is through committing to and honouring this connection that we learn to listen and appreciate a deepening awareness of our body and how to express our love and truth as our natural way of being.

  20. “There is so much to learn when we can let go of our pride and our investments in the past and not feel shame, but make a choice to be more aware and make loving choices today” – this is such a wise statement. We often get so identified with what we invest in and It is hard to accept that was really not it and let it all go. And to become aware is to empower ourselves, so why put it off till later? Do it now.

  21. Thank you Rosie, it’s true that energetic awareness brings much in the way of discernment highlighting energetically whether something is true or not. It may be a behaviour, belief, a book, a workshop, etc, things we may have invested in and felt were “good”, but they all get exposed by the energetic truth and how this feels to our whole body. As you say it may take honesty and humility to let these things go, but what we get as a result is to live a true way in life, the way of the soul, the way of truth and love.

  22. Our relationship with our body is an essential key for us to live who we are. That this is not taught to us when we are children is a corruption to a way of being that is rightfully ours to be fostered and encouraged as we grow up. However the beautiful and inspiring thing is that this relationship always remains, always indicating the truth of our choices, so we are guided from within to live the truth of who we are.

  23. I did this to when studying anatomy and physiology and health, drank alcohol and smoked. The arrogance is incredible to think how we are living is okay and that it will not affect our health!!!

    1. We override what our body is telling us, at our expense, ‘I can feel it if I overwork, if I stay up too late, and I can feel it if I am doing something for another that really is at the expense of myself.’

  24. I have been in life searching for the outside aims, looking for distractions everywhere.. What I came to observe since meeting the Benhayon family is that this search is no longer necessary. I came to see how they were living that did not need that aim of searching outside. That you could be truly enough from your own livingness and that actually people that you meet can add to that. But from their loving conversations, reflections and actions I learned that my look for outside was actually not necessary at all. But they held me a mirror of the richness that I was/am, and so I began to take this mirror more seriously and I can say they are absolutely right, and unfolding of truly being me and feeling in my every way that this is enough.. Has started. And I am very thank full for that, so thank you whole Benhayon family.

  25. I agree Rosie, we can learn so much from listening to our body and opening up our awareness to feel the truth of what we are feeling and why. There are many ideals and beliefs we accept as we grow up that keep us separated from the inner wisdom in our body and seeking outside ourselves for the answers to life when they are within us all along.

    1. Yes and that has become the norm so we stop thinking the unease is anything but normal. If nothing else gets our attention, the rising rates of illness and depression mean we must reconsider what we have taken as normal.

    2. It is a choice to open up and listen to our bodies, to become more aware and loving, is an amazing choice to make, ‘make a choice to be more aware and make loving choices today.’

  26. Thank you Rosie, it can be quite a shake up to find the truth. I have also had moments where I have acknowledged how much I had been fooled, when all along all I ever was searching for was right there within me. The truth is also very simple. It’s true also Rosie what you say about letting go of the past and getting on with choosing, being, and expressing love.

  27. It is our search that then holds tricks us into believing there is something more to life which inevitably takes us away from exploring and living our life from who we are naturally. When we return to the connection to our bodies and our movements day to day we begin to lay the foundation for life from simplicity and the searching for more simply begins to dissipate.

  28. The life we have is all about our choices, learning to not be a victim of our choices but taking loving responsibility by listening to our what our body is telling us and making the changes, what amazing opportunities we give to ourselves to heal.

  29. Rosie thank you so much for your honesty: “I felt angry that I had allowed myself to be fooled and that I had invested so much time and energy into all of these modalities that never taught me how to discern energy and how to truly connect to me.” This could be one reason why it is not so easy to stopp to look outside – we have to forgive ourselves for being so distracted by our own choice . . .

  30. The key is to not fall for the ideals and beliefs and to actually choose to let go of our patterns that seeks those falsities. We hold an enormous strength within us that can actually strip away all the lies and falsities we have created.. all it asks us is to be willing to let go of the evil (falsity) we have allowed. Which brings back the power of allowing the other energy in our lives that is actually free of evil that is: love.

  31. Universal Medicine is presenting that there is another way — but with an understanding of all the ways before followed, so only with more awareness we rise to a deeper understanding of why and what choices we have made. We are inspired by love, as this is what we all have been looking for. To actually find that it is all in you and me.

  32. I also did the merry-go-round of the spiritual new age and personal development, but honestly at the end of it all I was still in the same confusing and empty place. It wasn’t until I began working with Universal Medicine that things really started to change for me, and those changes have been sustained and continually built upon. Life for me is very different now, and continues to become more loving and joyful, and with significant changes to my overall wellbeing thanks to Universal Medicine.

  33. Gosh Rosie your blog is sharing something similar to how my life was, searching for that something. I had a library of books, attempted many other modalities and they just didn’t ever reach that point of emptiness stored within me.

    Universal Medicine has made a difference to my life that I am living my life from who I truely am. Connecting to my body more and more and fleeing what is going on in and around me – am I perfect at it, no, but compared to 3 years ago – definitely. I cannot thank Universal Medicine and the practitioners enough for bringing me back home.

  34. I too learned the hard way, often very hard, that not taking responsibility for my life lead to a very “loveless lifestyle”. I spent a whole lot of time searching for the answers to the messed-up life I was living as there was a part of me that knew that this wasn’t ‘it”. It was only when I found my way to Universal Medicine that I finally found what I was looking for and that was the true me who had been buried under layer upon layer of ideals, beliefs and life experiences. It has taken a while and a deep commitment to peel back these layers but it has so been worth it as I am loving the wonderful woman that I have rediscovered.

    1. Thank you Ingrid, I also knew there was a deeper truth to life, something missing that would explain it all. Thank goodness I did not give up searching as the work of Universal Medicine has been so life changing, with the biggest change being me returning to me, and looking within. Like yourself I have also uncovered and am loving the wonderful woman I am!

  35. As with all mistakes – once we nominate them and take responsibility it is time to move on and do it differently; shame or guilt only keep us shackled to the past.

    1. ‘shame or guilt only keep us shackled to the past’. I totally agree Gabriele when we indulge in these emotions, which often go hand in hand, we remain stuck in the past. For me, now I move on from my attachment to shame and guilt by accepting my part in the event which I am wallowing in, and I vow never to allow anything similar to occur in my life again.

  36. Being able to bring an honesty to the way we are living is the first step to accepting and knowing how to change our life, the more we listen and discern how we feel from inside the more we open our awareness to what feels true and what does not.

  37. I remember looking for more in life, as I was sure there had to be a greater meaning. When I started going to presentations from Universal Medicine I realised that the way I was living my life was already separating me from connecting to what I knew deep down was true; it took a lot of honesty to start changing my choices and finding the true connection I hold inside.

  38. Rosie I agree it is a bitter pill to swallow when I started to realize that I have fooled myself for so long but as you so beautiful expressed after swallowing it life changed forever in a way I was always looking for.

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