My search for something more to life…

by Rosie Bason, Byron Bay

My search for something more to life first started when I was about 20 years old and living in the Caribbean. I started going to a guided meditation group, then I decided to learn Reiki but still continued to smoke and drink and eat foods that were not good for me.

I then studied for a diploma in Herbal medicine, learnt Kinesiology and several other modalities. I still continued to abuse my body; I would take drugs, smoke, eat junk food and not sleep properly… even though I had studied about the body and how it works. 

I then tried Buddhism: I would sit for half or sometimes an hour every day looking at a box on the wall with a special script in it and I would chant away, hoping that it would bring me enlightenment and make for a happier life. I got to the honesty that I did not like my life, but I did not know how to change it, other than read about Buddhism. At the same time I also read many well-known self-help and New Age books. I did all these hoping things would change, but without looking at me and taking responsibility… so I continued with my loveless lifestyle. I was not enjoying life and I was still searching for more to life.

It was not until I moved to Byron Bay and was introduced to Universal Medicine that it all changed. I remember having a session with an Esoteric Practitioner and getting really upset because I realised that everything that I had grown up thinking was true was actually so very far from truth. I felt that I had really gotten lost in all the ideals and beliefs that I had learnt about. I thought that I had to keep looking on the outside to find the happiness and to find joy – I had not realised that it started from within. I felt sad that no-one and no book or course had ever made it that simple for me. I felt angry that I had allowed myself to be fooled and that I had invested so much time and energy into all of these modalities that never taught me how to discern energy and how to truly connect to me.

For me the learning has never stopped since; I have become more aware of energy and I can feel it in my body. I can feel it when I choose to be connected to me, and when I am not. I can feel it in my body if I choose to eat something that is not good for me (I get bloated, or cramps, or worse, diarrhoea), I can feel it if I overwork, if I stay up too late, and I can feel it if I am doing something for another that really is at the expense of myself. I feel this as being tired, or my legs ache, or if I take a minute to lie still I can feel how fast and racy my whole body feels.

We can learn so much from our bodies if we just take the time to listen and feel. There is so much to learn when we can let go of our pride and our investments in the past and not feel shame, but make a choice to be more aware and make loving choices today.

179 thoughts on “My search for something more to life…

  1. I love this Rosie – beautiful and simple. Life changes in amazing ways when we begin to make loving choices – we also inspire and support others when we make true changes in our lives.

  2. The simplicity in our choice to feel from our own connection to our bodies is beautiful and so beautifully shared here. Thank you Rosie.

  3. Serge Benhayon present the truth and sadness is in the realisation that it is the truth that I knew for myself but chose instead to absorb the ideals and beliefs that were all around me. Coming back to the love of my inner-heart I know truth.

  4. Absolutely Rosie, Serge Benhayon and the Universal Medicine team of practitioners bring to all those who are ready true energy healing through the esoteric way of life, which is a Livingness. This Livingness or esoteric way of life has taken energy healing to the highest level of integrity the Esoteric practitioners association assures the level of responsibility that the practitioner lives at. Esoteric Healing in all it’s forms is so simple and deeply felt in the most profound ways. The true health and well being is placed at your own feet because of the self responsibility for healing all that, which has caused dis-ease in our bodies!
    For more about Serge Benhayon go to;
    http://www.unimedliving.com/search?keyword=SERGE+BENHAYON

  5. The world is a mess and we all need to unite and roll up our sleeves and commit to life in full to clear the shambles that we have created simply because of how we have been living and the choices we have made in the past. Not sit down and meditate for hours on end for true enlightenment comes from us all lighting up and inspiring the world around us with the love and integrity and expansive way of how we live our everyday.

  6. Rosie, I agree, it is a very bitter pill to swallow when we realise just how much we have been fooled by the numerous modalities available, which keep us forever searching outside ourselves, through dishing up to us half-baked truths, but never presenting the whole truth.

  7. Rosie, it’s great how you point out that “without looking at me and taking responsibility” we don’t make true changes in our life. It might look different on the outside but the energy that is running us is the same until we say No to it and choose to make our lives about love.

  8. “We can learn so much from our bodies if we just take the time to listen and feel.” Yes Rosie, the body is always telling us what is needed and if we override that we become less sensitive to it and consequently the body has to speak louder by giving us some pain or an illness so that we take notice. Once we start to listen and heed the messages we begin a new relationship where we walk hand in hand with our body instead of racing ahead of it.

  9. “We can learn so much from our bodies if we just take the time to listen and feel. There is so much to learn when we can let go of our pride and our investments in the past and not feel shame, but make a choice to be more aware and make loving choices today.” I so agree Rosie, we can learn so much if we just stop and listen to our bodies. As a past master at keeping busy and distraction – all to keep me away form awareness and feeling what was really going on. There is a forever unfolding, a deepening, once we choose to take the time to truly be with ourselves.

  10. I realised after attending Universal Medicine presentations that taking on ideals and beliefs on how to cope or trying to find our way in life was a constant circle of searching and searching for answers or for something more, only to discover that it is our connection to ourselves and deepening our awareness that is the key to finding that something more to life and our purpose for being here.

  11. I can absolutely relate to the ability we have to get lost in the ideals and beliefs on offer outside of ourselves not realising that if we just simply learn to connect we are ideal and belief free within… a revelation that I am deeply grateful to Universal Medicine for awakening me to and allow me to stop searching for truth and wisdom and just connect to it instead.

  12. Rosie I can completely relate to your sadness, irritation and sense that we have been fooled regarding our investments into ideals and beliefs that have led us up the long pathway looking and thinking that we will find true joy outside of ourselves never realising that the potential we crave already lies within.

  13. There are so many avenues we can travel down in our pursuit of seeming truth, be it exploring modalities, workaholic, constant traveler, ‘truth seeker’ but all of which are in reality another ‘comfortable’ way to continue hiding out, staying small, not having to take responsibility, and shying away from true engagement. Meeting Serge Benhayon was the re-awakening and coming home to the truth we all know deep within.

  14. It is a great realisation when we become aware that joy wells up from within us and then we know, our outer quest for something to fill us up is well and truly over.

  15. There is so much in your blog that many could relate to, myself included. Well said and I totally agree with your final paragraph “We can learn so much from our bodies if we just take the time to listen and feel. There is so much to learn when we can let go of our pride and our investments in the past and not feel shame, but make a choice to be more aware and make loving choices today.”

  16. “There is so much to learn when we can let go of our pride and our investments in the past and not feel shame, but make a choice to be more aware and make loving choices today.” Having this willingness and openness is such a free and exhilarating way of living and it was through the inspiration of Serge Benhayon, his family and what they present that I have been able to embrace it.

  17. When we place money, time, and energy above truth the cost to our bodies and life is so much more than we can ever imagine. The most beneficial choices I have made is to let go of all the courses, self-help books/cards, beliefs and ideals that supported me zilch in knowing who I am. Universal Medicine has played an enormous part in me re-connecting to the simplicity, harmony, and joy we are all from.

  18. It is very easy to get lost in ideals and beliefs that we take on in the search outside ourselves to find some kind of meaning to our life, not realising the simple truth lies within us when we connect to our inner-heart through our breath.

  19. At some point we learn that we can only learn from the outside. We also learn the outside to provide what we need. And so, we look around and grab what feels that can suit our needs. In doing so, we expect to come up with something so perfect that will fill the void we feel inside. That, however, never happens. The emptiness we feel is an internal feeling. We miss ourselves but we do not realise that we are not just what we see in the mirror or what plays out in life. As soon as we start looking inwards and allow ourselves to expand the feeling of emptiness just vanishes.

  20. I was also lost Rosie, and I was also full of arrogance that kept me from seeing that there was anything different. Over the years I have had differing opinions but in the end everything I knew was like quicksand, it could shift and move and suck me in to seemingly move to the next great experience that was going to deliver the goods. The presentations by Serge Benhayon made me rethink everything I had ever considered to be true. My life now is one of an understanding that no matter what, if I allow the divine connection to God then trust in that there is nothing else.

  21. Rosie this could be me writing this experience because it was exactly the same for me!!! I would learn about the body .. anatomy and physiology, nutrition etc but still smoke and drink and eat crappy food. It’s like even though I thought I had stopped and come to a point of honesty in my life, I had got nowhere near it! Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine taught me what to actually STOP truly feels like. It was like I literally put the brakes on within.
    I learnt about momentum, and how we live builds a constant momentum that keeps going/repeating the same patterns … and if we do not address this first, or understand the energetic truth with regards to energy, then nothing is going to change, it may look slightly different or feel slightly different on the surface but the undercurrent is the same. Our choices become ingrained behaviours or patterns and our ill ideals and beliefs run us either consciously or subconsciously on a daily basis. This is very important for us to understand as no true change will come about until we have learnt and felt the energetic truth.

  22. Yes to not feel shame because we have been believing in something that wasn’t true is a big key element of going forward in life I think. We don’t want to feel fooled, but quite often we are so being humble about these things and not be hard on ourselves can be quite a good thing.

  23. What’s worth more, invest time in watching TV or invest time in supporting activities that make life more joyful, simple and loving.

    No hard feelings to all my favourite TV shows 😉

  24. I had a very similar experience to you as well Rosie having searched many years for truth and spending a lot of time and energy at many different workshops that never made any difference to my life. The turning point for me was meeting Serge Benhayon as well, the most profound thing I noticed first with Serge is he really ‘walked his talk’ and he was consistently loving and truly caring for everyone equally – It was clear my search for truth was over.

  25. “There is so much to learn when we can let go of our pride and our investments in the past and not feel shame, but make a choice to be more aware and make loving choices today.” Absolutely Rosie – so well said. All the shame does is hold us in the old abusive patterns. Let it go and we can blossom.

  26. I too decided to learn about reiki and other new age modalities yet made very little changes to how I was with myself and how I was living. I have come to realise through attending Universal Medicine that to truly inspire another I must first be living it otherwise the words are empty. Serge Benhayon introduced The Way of The Livingness and it is through the loving choices I am learning to make that is making a difference; taking responsibility for the way I choose to live and not simply attending course after course and gaining knowledge which is what I used to do, before I came across Universal Medicine.

  27. “There is so much to learn when we can let go of our pride and our investments in the past and not feel shame,…”
    Very true and this is exactly what often holds us back from moving forward, which is so silly as pride and shame and holding on to the past are not worth anything when you know your inner heart. The exquisiteness it holds and how much fun it is to forever learn more about oneself and how energy works.

  28. Meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine has been the biggest ‘aha!’ moment in my life because it was in truth meeting myself, the true me I had been missing for so very long. Being met by Serge is being met in the truest of sense. He meets others in his fullness and that meeting reflects back to the other that ‘this fullness is in you too’. We have to choose it but there is no denying it is within us all.

  29. We stick our heads in the sands for many years, if not lifetimes, and when we finally come up for air we rage at the sand in our orifices as if some unknown hand had held us under for so long. Learning to accept and take responsibility for the fact that where we are was due to the choices we have made is the first step to returning home to the love within our hearts and thus the truth we in essence are but had departed from.

  30. I can remember so many moments over the years when “I did not like my life, but I did not know how to change it”, so like you, kept on looking outside of me but as fast as I found something that I believed would be the answer I realised it wasn’t and on to the pile of discarded hopes and dreams it went. All that finally changed the day I met Serge Benhayon and heard him present that all the answers to my questions were actually inside of me – now that was a life changing moment, and change my life it has, so much so that it is unrecognisable from the one I struggled to exist in for so very long.

  31. It’s funny how we constantly search outside ourselves, I still find I do this often, in emails, calls, messages, other people, work, jobs etc – when the simple truth is we already know the answers to everything we looking for, and truth is found within us. No matter how much someone else tells you this, it can only come from lived experience, from trusting and empowering ourselves and listening to our body. Making choices, we might stuff up or make the wrong one so to speak, but at then at least either way, correct or not correct choice, we know and grow. We don’t grow by asking other people all the time or giving our power away.

  32. In the very beginning of my search for more I didn´t even understand what it meant to not look outside but inside; the words sound easy, but when nothing really knows to differentiate the outer and the inner by direct experience we can still confuse it. Universal Medicine makes the personal, direct experience the main focus so that we once again get to know and discern for ourselves and no longer accept anything from the outside as a truth without consciously validating it first in accordance with our innermost.

  33. A great reminder Rosie that everything is a choice and the more we become aware of energy and knowing what feels true from feeling and listening to our body the more we are able to discern and make choices that lovingly support us.

  34. Yes we have been tricked. All the spiritual new age searching just takes us further and further away from the truth, and further and further away from ourselves. I was tricked too, and Universal Medicine opened my eyes.

  35. It makes so sense to listen to our body and to be honest about our choices. Just like you Rosie it took me a long time to come to the truth that was in my body all the time. A lot of spiritual books and courses and a lifestyle that did not support me at all. Until I read a book of Serge Benhayon and I felt the illusion of it all and discovered and reconnected with the love that is in me and in all of us.

  36. We can indeed learn much from listening to our bodies but in this day and age where we are all too easily engulfed and caught up in the hustle and bustle of the fast-paced world around us sometimes actually stopping to care for ourselves and our bodies can be relegated to last on the list, a disregard that could well be being reflected to us in our escalating rates of disease and illness.

  37. Love is a choice and even when I write this I feel the deepened awareness that comes when the truth is shared. So love can deepen by being more aware, and this in itself is so much more than what is the traditional version of love; as I remember before Universal Medicine that emotional love was considered by me as so called normal.

  38. So often we go into things to take stuff on in an attempt to bury or cover up our hurts. The esoteric asks us to let go of all of this, let our hurts come to the surface to be dealt with so that they no longer dictate our thoughts, movements and actions.

  39. It’s very interesting how we can study so much about some subject yet end up not quite getting connected with it; and how we feel the emptiness and keep seeking something, looking everywhere but our nearest and dearest place. It’s like we know exactly how not to get to where we say we want to.

  40. You summed it up beautifully Rosie; “We can learn so much from our bodies if we just take the time to listen and feel.” And, as you say if we choose to drop our pride and what we have invested in, we can choose to be open and aware to the truth it offers us.

  41. It is sad that we spend our lives, occupy ourselves with our lifestyle choices, in search of that ‘thing’ that will give us a sense of contentment, fulfilment and purpose, when the fact is that ‘thing’ is a quality that is with us the entire time, from the moment we take our first breath to the moment we take our last, and beyond. Our connection to ourselves, to our love within, our Soul, is the purpose we are here and through developing a relationship with our bodies we can discover and be guided to know what it means to live with true enrichment. A quality of connection that can be present wherever you are and with whatever you do.

  42. What a blessing for us all Rosie that, after a long search, you are now a forever student of The Way of the Livingness.

  43. Thank you Rosie for sharing your journey of coming to the truth of Universal Medicine, I can remember going through a period in my life where I tried out New Age modalities still searching here and there. One day I picked up a New Age book in a book shop and literally felt sick to my stomach, I put it down and never picked up another book until I came to discover the Purple books which I found hold the truth I was searching for.

  44. We do not like the world we live in and want to change it. Yet, by and large, we carry on with the same practices that in one way or another feed the ugliness we do not like. Ridiculous, isn’t it?

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