By Joel Levin, Western Australia
A recent article ‘A New Starting Point’ explored what life might be like if we gave life a new starting point. It explored the change from having pain and suffering as our starting point, to making love as the starting point…
It seems, however, that that story is only the end of the very beginning.
Love is not only the starting point, but it is possible to make it our ending point as well.
I am beginning to realise how often I start with love now, which is an amazing gift I have given myself. However, it’s been interesting to notice how often I feel amazing but then let myself become distracted by something – a thought, an ‘issue that I must deal with’, a perceived issue with something. In essence, I make love my starting point but I don’t make it my ending point.
Basically I say ‘that’s enough love now’ and pull the rip cord. It turns out I have a long list of ‘rip cords’ ready and waiting for me to pull at any moment.
If I explore why I might do that, what comes back is usually things like – “how will other people react”, “I can’t let it get too amazing because I might lose it”, or “I’m not strong enough to hold that love in the world”… or the classic “I’ve just got to sort out this issue then I’ll be able to hold it”.
All of these statements give me an issue to deal with and reason to be distracted – and a justification for starting but not ending with love.
I attended a recent men’s group and realised that for almost 10 years now I have studied The Way of the Livingness to varying degrees. All the usual difficulties of life were there at the start and are still around me today, but they affect me less.
Sometimes it feels like there is more pressure now to NOT start and end with love but the truth is, I AM living with more love than ever before. I AM deepening and improving relationships with people rather than them breaking down, I AM dealing with what life throws at me... in fact there is a long list of things I USED to use as a reason to not end with love, that I no longer do.
So I am and have made choices up until now that can change the tide and rhythm of my life: all those pressures on the outside don’t change, and based on my progress (slow at times, but progress all the same) it turns out they aren’t stronger than my making these choices.
The key difference as I see it, is to change the slogan “don’t sweat the small stuff” to something like “don’t sweat the big stuff!”. The big stuff being; how my parents were, workplace stress, deadlines, my role in the world etc. It’s this big stuff that gives me plenty of reasons to affirm why I am not enough right now and why I shouldn’t end with love.
The small stuff is making choices about; obsessing over thoughts or staying present with what it happening, the way I move my body, whether I let emotions or feelings run me, the food I eat, how I breathe… all that small stuff is the stuff that over the years has resulted in a significant shift in not just how I live, but the level of vitality, joy, harmony and yes, love that I feel.
I made love my starting point through these choices and it seems that love as an end point has no ending, just a deepening because in truth it never ends…!
The more we appreciate and live the love that we are, the more we are aware of the magnificence of the love of the Universe.
This is a great question really – we start implementing self-loving choices but where are we going with this? I can feel how the so-called issues are not necessarily the obstacles that get in the way, but how we are with them do get in the way. When we start from love and love is where we are going, there is no end point but only deepening.
Thanks Joel, I hadn’t looked at love this way, but I can see within my own life that at times I do not start with love, and if I do start with love there are times that I do not end with love – looking at why or simply being more aware feels like a… great starting point! 🙂
Being more aware of what plays out in our day re love is a great starting point.
Good point to end on 😉 The ending of something is a beginning of something else, so when we read this blog, are we going to leave it just as is or are we going to take the lessons and start applying to our everyday?
Wonderful what is shared here. Let us make Love not just our starting point, but also the ending point and everything in between.
Absolutely, make love the way we live, the way we are.
“I made love my starting point through these choices and it seems that love as an end point has no ending, just a deepening because in truth it never ends…!” Indeed, there is only the opportunity to go deeper when we understand that love has no end point. What a wonderful approach this would be in any relationship.
I agree Elizabeth, I notice when I am not loving I easily get stuck in issues and when I am out of them, I realise the issues were not important at all.
Your awareness here is gorgeous Elizabeth and this has been great for me to read. Yes when we look at the far bigger picture it puts everything else into perspective.
If we work on the small stuff like ‘staying present with what is happening, the way I move my body, whether I let emotions or feelings run me, the food I eat, how I breathe’ and are consistent with this it moves mountains (the big stuff).
Staying present with our bodies at all times is paramount if we wish to move mountains.
There is only an endpoint to love if we create one, therefore, we control how much love flows in and out of us. Very cool when you think about it because it means we have the power to change from loveless to love.
Whilst we may choose to ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff’ we can always ‘appreciate every detail’.
Appreciation is a great confirming choice, and movement, to make.
Makes total sense to me that if we complete anything we do with love it sets a platform for more love to grow and expand from that.
Yep, absolutely, and the same principles apply to abuse. Which means we have the ability to dismantle all the platforms that do not work and build new ones based on love.
I also find I can start with love but drift off after a while. It reflects my days which usually start well but end in my going back to old behaviours. As was presented at Universal Medicine recently, I am exploring being aware of purpose in my day so when I move from A to B, the love is the same if not more. This is bringing a whole new dimension to my days.
So true Joel, the truth is love never ends, and when we understand true love we understand how simple it is to live love and apply love to life in all that we do.
When we feel amazing there is something that comes into our thoughts to unsettle us, of late the more this has happened to me the more I ignore it as I know it is not the truth of who I am.
Very true, and a great practice, to ignore ‘thoughts’ that come in to unsettle us, or bring us down.
I love what you have shared Joel and all the ways throughout the day when we are side tracked from ending our day with love. As I awake in the morning with love in my body, I am now aware to not get so caught up in the days doings which take me from my body of love.
There are many ways and reasons we choose to be taken away from love, ‘I can’t let it get too amazing because I might lose it’.
Always remember however big an issue is it is only a smidgen of who you are. Still it must be dealt to with the honesty of why you are not choosing to live who you are but it never changes nonetheless the fact of how amazing you really are.
That is a gorgeous reminder: ” however big an issue is it is only a smidgen of who you are”. When we remember that it becomes so much easier to not lose ourself in reaction but instead bring our amazingness to the situation.
I know that one, getting distracted when I feel amazing. Great though to be aware of it so I can catch myself when it happens.
Same for me Matts, I am now more aware of when I do this too. I notice there is often a resistance to deepen my awareness and love which I recognise is an old habit and it is time to drop this so I allow love to deepen and expand within and around me.
Allowing love to expand and deepen is awesome instead of saying, ‘that’s enough love now’ and pulling the rip cord.
I love your honesty where you say – “Basically I say ‘that’s enough love now’ and pull the rip cord.” – it’s easy to blame others for our own choices but truly empowering to realise that we are the ones in charge of our connection with and expression of love…
Yes it is important to see the little details and noticing everything but there should not be an obsessiveness about it because then we fail to see our overall choices over time. When I am too focussed on every thought and feeling I have I get very tensed but when I do feel the bigger picture of how my life is and the choices I am making there is appreciation instead.
A gorgeous reminder Joel to continue to deepen and expand our love.
We are here to keep expanding and deepening our love, ‘I AM living with more love than ever before. I AM deepening and improving relationships with people rather than them breaking down, I AM dealing with what life throws at me… ‘ Gorgeous Joel.
What quality are we saying yes to if we accept anything less than love?
I wonder if thinking that there ever is such thing as an end is an attempt at an illusory relief that we give ourselves from this continuum or our existence.
Understanding what end is, allows us to better grasp the relationship between ends and beginnings in terms of space that opens up to keep building is just beauty which has to be appreciated in its divine grace.
So many invented (but in our minds), completely justifiable, reasons as to why we don’t step up and step forward, and the ‘I’m not there yet’ or ‘I haven’t mastered xyz yet so who am I to step up and claim my authority in it?’ is indeed a classic. We sometimes forget that the mastering and learning of something happens when we take what can feel like a risk and say yes to something and step forward, with no pictures or expectations of what it’ll look like and no need or pressure on ourselves to ‘get it right’.
Where humanity has to get to is love. Or rather not “get” to it but instead just BE it. It is the only answer after all to all our issues, which in truth are caused by a lack of BE-ING love.
It is interesting the lack of consistency in our actions – we can start off with love but not finish, or we can start without love and half way through realise we are not being loving and make changes. Making love our start and end point and working on maintaining it every step of the way builds up our consistency.
Gosh, I am starting to see how much I actually fight love. I notice that when a relationship deepens I will resist it and pull in an issue to avoid going deeper. It is like love terrifies me, I can feel it is avoiding bringing a greater responsibility of consistently being who I am.
You are super honest MW and I can very much relate to what you’ve shared because I have the tendency to do the same and have been observing myself fight love with many relationships. Being aware of this is awesome because it means we are able to make changes.
Love it Joel, love has no ending just an ever deepening. Someone shared with a group today that if we took just one loving act towards ourselves daily and became consistent in this, love can not help but expand from this one action. Something small that effects the greater.
We can sweat about so much, all of the details of life and getting it right – small or big. Does any of this matter? Maybe by taking care of our body, our vehicle, we start to re-arrange the details.
When I read your blog I was reminded that just yesterday I noticed an expression that came up “I just have to…” there were so many things that fit on the end of that sentence but every single one of them was an indication that I was not living up to my potential and there were things I needed to do in order to turn that around. I clocked what an illusion it is, was and will forever be. A Furfy with a capitol F!
There is so much to consider here. The cyclical nature of our every day but the turnaround in what is the focus – it is not the big stuff but the small stuff because if we pay attention to the seeds we so what we reap will also change.
I love how you have highlighted that with love there is in-truth no end, and when we walk, live and move with love the depth of quality and presence we can bring to our everyday living is endless. It is only when we move without love that we seek and experience an end point, or an end point to a momentum is reached. For the nature of love is to behold and magnify the light of truth through all that align to its vibration.
Beautifully said Carola, thank you, we have the eternal opportunity to connect with deeper levels of love and bring that back to our everyday way of living and being with everyone.
There is no end,
but always a choice between stagnating and re-circulating the same patterns, or deepening, expanding and evolving to live ever greater levels of love.