Consistently Inconsistent to Consistently Consistent

by Tanya Curtis, Gold Coast, Australia, Behaviour Specialist, Assoc Dip Ed, BHlthSci.(BehMgt), MBehMgt, MCoun 

Until recent years, I have become accustomed to a way of living in which my experience of people I have chosen to be in my life, including myself, has been of ones who are consistently inconsistent. The consistency of this inconsistency created for me a platform of unpredictability, lack of trust, “you can’t rely on anyone”, it is a guarantee they will let you down… I could go on! Basically, I had concluded that people (including myself) could not be trusted.

From when I was young, my parents and relatives were sometimes happy and sometimes angry; sometimes loving while sometimes aggressive; sometimes supportive and sometimes dismissive! My friends were sometimes claiming to be my ‘best friend’ and sometimes saying “you’re not my friend any more”; sometimes joking and loving while sometimes teasing and mean; sometimes reliable and sometimes not. My siblings were sometimes inclusive and sometimes outright excluding; sometimes loving while sometimes outright nasty. Shopkeepers were sometimes welcoming and sometimes uninterested; sometimes helpful and sometimes not. I could go on, but the common word I associated with people was ‘sometimes’. The word sometimes created a pattern of consistently inconsistent, which to me became the norm.I had laced all people with the only guarantee is that there is no guarantee… people are unpredictable! I had a consistent feeling of isolation and aloneness as people could not be trusted or relied on.

As an adult I chose a career of working with people. To learn more about people and develop understanding, I chose university degrees that taught me how to observe people. So all day, every day I now observe people to help understand their behavioural choices. My observations throughout my career have confirmed that the word ‘sometimes’ is consistent to the general population. Thus, my experience in my personal, professional and community life has until recently been conclusive… as a norm, my observations suggest people are commonly ‘consistently inconsistent’.

So, as I lie here on the dawn of the 1st day of 2013 feeling amazing, I have reflected on how this expectation of people being consistently inconsistent has started to change, and how awesome it feels. I have realised that I have started to trust people again and pondered on how this might have happened

Well, let me tell you a story about a family I have met called the Benhayon Family. I began attending courses run by an organisation called Universal Medicine and presented by Serge Benhayon. Members of the Benhayon family always supported the courses so there were always opportunities to experience, either directly or through observation, many of these family members. The information presented at the courses made sense to me! But what stood out the most was a feeling of equalness for all of humanity: a love and acceptance of all, responsibility for self and freedom to make one’s own choices – this was presented and observed by not only Serge, but his whole family in the way they interacted with all participants throughout an entire day (formally and informally). I always left the courses feeling amazing. At first I was a bit (well, VERY) dubious – thinking “this could not be real… it’s one of those FEEL GOOD scams that you read about… there’s no way they can hold this image up for long”! So I decided to do what I do best and continued to observe… what I found over time was this family was consistently consistent!

I started having healing sessions at different times with Natalie Benhayon, Michael Benhayon and Curtis Benhayon. Again the same… they were all consistently consistent in that they always presented with a resounding consistency of love, equalness, no judgment and unconditional support; they were always welcoming, never dismissive. This consistency intrigued me and I asked myself “how could this be possible?… I have NEVER experienced this before”. So I continued to observe, but no matter what I observed I always saw the same thing.

I observed Michael Benhayon as a father to his daughter, a husband to his wife, a brother to his siblings, a friend to many, a practitioner to myself and other clients, a performer of music he has written himself, a support dancer to his friends on stage and much, much more. Throughout all roles he was consistently consistent – he was always the same… nothing but love!

I observed Natalie Benhayon on stage presenting to hundreds of women; again on stage in a different role teaching a form of dance; again on stage presenting at the annual Esoteric Practitioners Association (EPA)*; I have had conversations with her, client sessions with her and I observe her at courses with her family and friends… again I observe Consistently Consistent – always the same solid foundation!

Then there is Serge Benhayon. From presenting on stage, to having a conversation with me, responding to my emails, providing extra support for people when needed, observing him with his own family, as a husband, an ex husband, a father, a grandfather, a friend… I watch as Serge welcomes all those who attend events run by Universal Medicine, and again I have only observed or experienced consistent consistency – a consistency in nothing less than love and equalness with all.

I could name and give examples of every single family member, but the outcome is always the same… each and every one of the Benhayons is CONSISTENTLY CONSISTENT, and they present consistency in ‘nothing but love’. In the 2½ years I have known them, this has not changed once! Amazing!

So, to Serge Benhayon and the entire Benhayon family, I want to say Thank You for being you and being a great reflection of what is possible. Because of what you have shown me I have now learnt to trust in myself, trust in people and trust in love… thank you for being so consistently consistent.

* The EPA (Esoteric Practitioners Association) is the internal accreditation arm of Universal Medicine. It was instigated by Universal Medicine to monitor and accredit the modalities that were founded by Universal Medicine. 

410 thoughts on “Consistently Inconsistent to Consistently Consistent

  1. How sad is it to live in a reality where we can’t trust ourselves, to not be certain in our ability to stay steady on our feet. So often I don’t go for things because I feel like my lack of consistency will trip me up and I’ll fall flat on my face – what a trick!

  2. To have that reflection of someone or many to be that consistent fosters trust in us. For us to be open and loving again and not wait for everyone else to be that before we open up.

  3. The absolute safety that comes with being with someone who is consistently consistent is outstanding.

  4. I can notice in myself sometimes as well a doubt in the possibility of life being consistently simple, loving and enjoyable and that is understandable after years of living the life of struggle. But the more I allow and surrender, the more it becomes my reality that it is possible to feel consistent and great what ever goes on in my life.

  5. I can second everything that Tanya has observed. The consistent consistency of the Benhayon family is remarkable and has allowed many hurt people to begin to trust again. This is a very rare and precious gift.

  6. Consistency is not an spontaneous type of movement but one that requires an explicit commitment to move constantly in a certain way till what may be discipline at the beginning turns into joy and beauty thereafter.

  7. I can really relate to how the amazing role models such as the Benhayon family have not only inspired me but helped me to build and deepen my trust in others and in myself. Consistency is such an amazing quality.

  8. Tanya, I love the way you have exposed how we seek out those who are inconsistent in how they express in life, in order to confirm our belief that others cannot be trusted. If we but saw this as a reflection of our own lack of consistency in how we express love, and then seek to uncover and heal the root cause of this, we would cease contributing to the energy that fuels the high levels of inconsistency that is so prevalent in our world today.

  9. Consistency builds the foundation that we live from –  whatever that may be. We can be consistently irresponsible… or build a consistency of Love and Connection in our lives.

  10. That is so true most of us are pretty inconsistent in how we are. No wonder so many of us feel lost not knowing who we are.

  11. The unconditional consistent lived love and integrity of the Benhayon family is truly inspiring, reminding me of what is really possible in this world and how we can build consistency, without perfection, in the way we are in life that supports not only us but everyone else as well.

  12. So well described..there is so much that we have chosen to do opposite. We know love, what happend to us now living unloving? etc..etc.. A beautiful piece of writing of awareness that brings us closer to the truth of who we are and what we have chosen to live. There is only one way to go and how quick we go is determined by our choices.

  13. Being consistently inconsistent we are constantly creating the opportunity for confusion and hurt to flourish. When someone is offering consistency consistently it leaves us to be and gives us the space to drop our guard and to trust again.

  14. It’s one of the most incredible things having someone in your life who is consistently consistent, who doesn’t judge or change how they treat you no matter what, and it’s beautiful that we can offer this support ourselves to all other people in our lives. The consistency comes from how we live, and how solid our rhythm is and love for us and humanity is in every moment.

    1. I agree Susie W, it is an incredible thing. The Benhayon family’s consistent consistency is the reason I now no longer live in the middle of nowhere trying to retreat further and further from the world, and now live in London and am committed to life.

  15. Consistency makes us feel safe to trust again; consistency is like the steady drop of water onto a rock – over time it creates an undeniable impact.

  16. I have a word for consistently inconsistent – some-time-ish. And yes I agree that we do all have this trait, although some less so than others. Looking back I see how I have become more consistent and solid in myself so that I am less affected by the constantly changing, sometime chaotic environment we live in. This has come from being willing to observe myself and make new choices.

  17. Tanya, I really appreciated reading your list of all of the inconsistencies you grew up with and felt how similar this was for myself. All my life I have been reflected an inconsistency until I came across the Benhayon family, who with their consistent consistency, I have been able to build trust in a world where trust is lacking.

  18. ‘What I found over time was this family was consistently consistent!’ It is no wonder that the Benhayon’s stand out, consistently loving, joyful, open, the list goes on and the more I get to know them the more I know this to be true.

  19. Consistency builds trust and if we don’t see it out in the world then we need to build it in ourselves so that others see it in us. We have been blessed with that reflection so time to pass it on.

  20. Being consistently consistent becomes an everyday way of life when we start to heal our hurts; it allows us to respond to situations and people rather than go into reactions which makes us end up on a roller coaster of emotions.

  21. Observation is such a great tool in life, I always learn so much from observation, much more than from being told what to do.

  22. Being consistently consistent is such great inspiration to draw from all of the Benhayons, as I agree, they live in a way that is so consistent. They always say that they are not special, they just make choices that many of us just do not choose to do.

  23. ‘But what stood out the most was a feeling of equalness for all of humanity: a love and acceptance of all, responsibility for self and freedom to make one’s own choices..’ I too had stopped trusting people and always felt hurt at this inconsistency. Was I living in a consistent way though? No, I was not and so was feeding by my own choices this unwritten rule we are all operating by and all get hurt by. Through meeting the Benhayons I have come to understand this and am learning to take responsibility for my choices so that I do live in a much more consistent way, now offering in my own turn that there is a different way and that integrity, love and consistency are the cornerstones of rebuilding trust in myself, trust in others and so that others may also trust me.

  24. The Benhayon family are definitely consistently consistent, no matter where they are or what they are doing there is a deep consistency within them, that has deeply inspired me to be more consistent in my livingness.

  25. ‘Sometimes’ is a word that does not have any meaning to the Way of Living and loving that is there for all to observe with Serge Benhayon and has clearly inspired his family, both his own family and the family of Universal Medicine students and an inspiration to the wider family of humanity.

  26. I totally agree with your comment about the Benhayon family, they are totally consistently being consistent in all that they do, and I have observed how supportive that is not only to the Benhayon family but all those around them, which has inspired me to be more consistently consistent, rather than inconsistent.

  27. The reflection that the Benhayon family offers the world is truly powerful and very inspiring, their consistency is very consistent as you share Tanya and this has supported me over all these years also to be open to true love and to trust in life again.

  28. It’s such a setup when we seek out those who will confirm our beliefs about people, in total ignorance to any other possibility.

  29. By-and-large inconsistency rules (us). We never know. And, we normalise this, accepted as the way things go. That is why when someone presents consistency and solidness in every one of his/her movements they stand out and provide an amazing reflection for the rest to realise that what we have accepted as normal is not the only option nor the one we feel at home with. The power of reflection….

  30. I too have observed the Benhayons for many, many years and always found them to be consistently consistent. It has also shown me a way of life that I had never seen lived before and through that inspiration am becoming more and more consistently consistent myself.

  31. What a funny expression consistently inconsistent is because it exposes how much of a choice and consistency there is in being inconsistent.

  32. I loved your sharing Tanya, and the importance of being consistently consistent and the foundation of love that, that way of being brings to ones life as witnessed in the lives of the Benhayon family. who show a beholding equality of this love for all humanity and is deeply felt by all who come in contact with them

  33. What a great way to describe this family that at times for me, feel indescribable. What this family offers humanity as far as a reflection of how things can be for everyone if they are willing to commit to love is priceless but can often be overlooked sadly through people’s fear and inability to trust that what they are seeing is the real deal. Gossip, judgment and jealousy can follow this “disbelief” and this family has copped it over the years but with each attack, they only grow stronger, their lives never reflect stress or emotional reactions. They are consistently consistent, as you so aptly state in this article. Each client, supermarket check out person, cleaner, lawyer, neighbour is treated with the same love and care, even if you have been the one whingeing about them at some point.The reason this family are able to offer this is they do not need praise or approval, they only want to live truth in every breath possible.

  34. Being consistently who we truly are is the most amazing thing in life, this is a foundation that allows us to navigate all situations in life. No matter how inconsistent life situations are, we have a foundation that is consistent and this is the most amazing solidness that supports us through life. It is also a most needed reflection for the world.

    1. Yes Adele, it almost starts by re getting to know ourselves again, really looking underneath our normal to check if we are consistently ourselves. Such good medicine for mental and physical health.

  35. Reading your blog again today has reminded me that consistency is the ability to simply be ourselves in the essence of who we are – love.

  36. This really got me thinking. As a consistently inconsistent person, how I am every now and then attracted to going off track, taking a detour, seeking stimulation; how I find pleasure in the non-ordinariness. We seek to be confirmed and also to confirm others in their true essence, but our behaviour often betrays that. Not having the awareness that there is a choice to be made every moment could explain the why, but whether we are aware or not – is also a choice.

  37. Consistency in our relationships seems to be a rarity that is given little if not no true value almost labeled as impossible or even “freakish” to be so. Yet to have someone who is consistent in your life can be the greatest and most loving blessing one could ever imagine.

  38. What an acute observer you must have been as a child Tanya – and then still clearly are to this day… And what a great and consistent light and way of living must have been reflected to you, that you could actually turn around and state what you have here – i.e. that there are those in this world who are consistent in their openness to others, the depth of their care, their love and their ability to do and bring what is needed for all.
    In truly accepting this, that there are those who walk amongst us holding such qualities, we cannot hold onto hurts from our past over the inconsistency from others – for it is Love that stands here right before us today, and nothing less.

  39. This is a very powerful sharing Tanya, and thank-you for bringing it so unreservedly… I agree with all that you’ve shared here – and can say wholeheartedly that the consistency of unwavering love, consideration and service to all displayed by the Benhayon family has re-ignited places within me that I had long forgotten – the inspiration to build my life in a way that I may also be ‘consistently consistent’, and let go long-held attitudes towards my fellow humanity where I’d given up on love being our natural way.

  40. I know what you mean when you write about the Benhayon family being “consistently consistent”. And it has been an amazing discovery and unfoldment to grow into this quality myself rather than endure and entertain the never-ending merry-go-round of all the ups and downs my life used to be filled with.

  41. For me having the consistent reflection of the Benhayon family in my life has supported me to regain trust, learn to feel the love I have for people and start to express this out regardless of what comes back. It is so beautiful to be consistently loved by another regardless of the choices you make.

  42. I find my inconsistency super frustrating, however it also provides me a sense of comfort. I often get a thought of “I’ve been pretty good, I can take a break now” and even more often these “breaks” can lead to a month of self-loathing and bashing… is that really a “break’?

  43. I had not realised it at the time, but your blog has reminded me of growing up as a child, being confused by adults and how they behaved. It was in fact their inconsistency that confused me and this then led to not being sure if I could trust people, As you say Tania the reflection that the Benhayon family offer is very different, they never pander or seek recognition, everything is about truth and it this consistency even when it may feel uncomfortable or at times very exposing the absolute consistency they reflect is undeniable and it is this that restored my trust in people again.

  44. So much here to connect with Tanya, firstly lack of trust is enormous! Someone will always let us down so it is much safer to do it ourselves, but then we go and let ourselves down too…it might be by not sticking to a new way of eating, or putting everyone else’s needs before our own only to find ourselves sick with exhaustion, even overbooking the diary is letting ourselves down. I have done all these things and berated myself for my personal lack of consistency except in being inconsistent. Yet I now appreciate there are more and more inspirations of consistency and Serge Benhayon certainly leads the way!!

  45. In a world where we have been programmed from young to not trust each other, it is the consistency mentioned here that rebuilds the trust that leads us back to the undying love that has never let us go, despite us withdrawing from its embrace. It is this quality of movement we must show to each other in order to arrest the ill momentum we have otherwise become so caught up in that has led to the great divide we now as a humanity find ourselves in. This is how we restore harmony amongst us and thus heal the scars of the past by living the future now.

  46. I can feel how consistency is a key part of love. Not consistency in what is done per se but rather consistency in the quality of what is loved as this not only allows people to trust the love and support they see and feel but also helps inspire them to live this themselves.

  47. Amazing how it only takes one person, or a few, to inspire another to open to the possibility and then begin to live the same for themselves…which in turn inspires others and so on.

  48. I used to get a little disappointed and downhearted with people when they were not not themselves. I saw myself comparing to the last meeting, having an expectation of how they should be but recently I am much more accepting as how can I be judgemental when I am living inconsistently too, not like it used to be but I do create it from time to time.

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