Esoteric Women’s Group: Supporting Each Other to Build Foundations

by Lucy Dahill

The Esoteric Women’s Group (EWG) presentations have introduced a greater focus of self-care to my life. Over the years, this simple approach has meant I have been presented with some beautiful opportunities to change some of my old patterns which had left me exhausted and resentful, more often than not.

What has been shared in those groups were things I had started to connect to myself, but hadn’t realised their importance. Things like being tender with myself, noticing the roles I take on automatically, my monthly cycle and giving myself permission to pay close attention to all of it – even what my bra feels like to wear and how I set up my cupboards and drawers. None of the presentations were instructional; Natalie Benhayon simply shared how she lived. It was an opportunity to question the ‘norm’. I found the presentations brought a practical focus to what it is to be a woman. It sounds silly, doesn’t it?, that we need to be reminded of what it is to be a woman: but for those of us who have perfected the art of doing and being as un-female as possible because it might be perceived as weak, the undoing has to be a focus – a remembering of our natural way!

After each talk I would play with what had been presented until the next group – I wanted to see it for myself, to see how it could be for me, in my life. Since then I have re-ordered my drawers, my clothes, my bathroom, my bedroom and so much more… not because ‘Natalie said’, but because I love how it looks and feels.

I have been paying attention to these things for many years now and I didn’t appreciate what I had learnt and how much things have changed until old patterns started re-emerging and I was called back loudly by my own footprint of love! Before you say ‘what on earth does that mean?’ – let me give you an example…

I live in a house of 5 and have come to realise that we all have a different version of what tidy or clean looks like. In a shared house it seems to be based on what we are used to in our own spaces, primarily our bedrooms. I can tell how I am going by how ordered my space is, and when any of our bedrooms become messy I can see that lack of attention to detail or clearing away of our own things in other areas of the house. Sometimes I will just clear it away myself; other times I will get the person who made the mess to come back and clear it up themselves. I had been quite busy and had found I needed to be really efficient to keep on top of things so had returned to my pattern of “it will be quicker if I do it myself”. Thankfully that came back to bite me on the bum…

One day I went to my drawer to choose a t-shirt, and saw it in a mess. I remembered that I had said my daughter could borrow one of my t-shirts to wear to work one morning, and as I looked in my drawer I could see the ones she had tried on and rejected… they were just thrown back in, all crumpled and inside out. I felt so cross that somewhere I had come to feel a solid consistency of order was replaced by her disrespect for my space. I could have raged at her and blamed her, but as I stood there upset I realised that I might have some responsibility in this.

This had been a bit of a pattern. She had her bedroom all tidy but she would leave her stuff everywhere else. I had thought it would be the other way around and had previously decided I didn’t want to rock the boat so had let it slide, simply tidying up after her. Yet I realised she now didn’t see anything wrong with leaving my drawer open and the shirts all messed up because she was in a hurry. This wasn’t her disrespecting me on purpose – this was her putting the importance of her day ahead of respecting my space – I had allowed it before so why would I respond any differently now?

My not wanting to run the risk of ‘an issue’ had meant this pattern was now in my space – in my face! I had to do something about it now – it had crossed the line! Yet I realised that by my not having that simple conversation when these things happen, it often leads to Mount Vesuvius wanting to erupt when I do finally decide to speak up.

Now that I take more time to look after me, I notice when I have chosen to ignore these little things to keep the peace. I used to live in overwhelm all the time so needed to ‘pick my conversations’, but I was not overwhelmed anymore and it was time to have this conversation. Rather than erupt, I simply went downstairs and shared how yuck it was to open my drawer and see the consequence of her being late for work and that, should she want to borrow from me again, then she had to respect my space and leave it as she found it. There was a moment where she just looked at me, then she said “yeh, sure, sorry about that”. There was no drama, no need on my part for her to get it, no need on her part to defend. It was just saying something in the moment and moving on: it leaves me wondering if this is also part of self-care, and one to practice.

What this situation offered me was a moment to appreciate that what I had chosen to live for the past few years,  was the foundation of love I had set for myself. Now there was more to see, there was a part of my relationships that was not equal to this love, and I had an opportunity now to see that and do something about it for us both.

I have a deep appreciation for Natalie Benhayon’s Esoteric Women’s Presentations and the many women who have shared their experiences over the years. It feels like we are supporting each other to build foundations so that in moments like these we can feel our own love feeding us back.

319 thoughts on “Esoteric Women’s Group: Supporting Each Other to Build Foundations

  1. One of the most challenging things is to not react to something that has been quite disturbing to our sense of order and then look at our part, for everything is a reflection. In calling out a behaviour without reacting, claims this – for if we are reacting we are mostly reacting to the fact that we are choosing not to see our part and therefore blame another. This offers evolution to all involved, including ourselves. Life offers this constantly to us.

  2. This brings out what we often see as a problem with someone or an issue with something they have done. In a moment like this when you catch your part, your reflection it gives the space for you to also see what needs to be done next. So often we walk around trying to push life into an order and we miss or walk past the space or in other words we don’t want to look at our part which then leads us to focus on a part, usually someone else’s part. Is this as simple as life can be, you feel something, you reflect on your part of what you’re feeling and with that awareness you do what’s to be done next?

  3. I love this practical example of what building a foundation of what love looks like at home. I am stuck in a belief that because my closet isn’t at the standard that is high enough, meaning some things aren’t folded and some things are in the wrong spots, that when my teenage daughter disrespects this space even more than I myself currently disrespect it – my first thought is…. well who am I to say anything? I’m not setting a good enough example myself! I am now realising that waiting until I am perfect is not the answer, yes it will support if I take more care but there is no reason why I can’t say something to my daughter and next time it happens – at the time it happens, with no fuss. I am inspired to take a deeper level of self care, bring more focus to my space, and then it will be really obvious when this is not aligned to.

  4. Hearing Natalie talk brings you back to something deep within that you know but have let go of. I love how practical she is and how her sharings ignite you to love yourself more deeply.

    1. Beautifully said Kristy. I feel exactly the same – simple truths, yet every one shared resonates so deeply. I’ve come to realise just how powerful it is when someone lives what they share and teach, for if you are willing to truly listen to what’s presented, changes will indeed begin to unfold in your own life as a result.

  5. It’s wonderful that you share this so openly Lucy for us all, thank-you. I’ve also found that after every presentation from Natalie Benhayon, I’ve implemented changes in my own life – not as any ‘have to’s’ whatsoever, but what she’s shared has been felt so deeply as our ‘natural way’ as you’ve stated here, that things have ‘rippled through’ into how I am in my own daily routines and the love and care I actually bring to myself in this.
    We have strayed so far from what it is to truly honour the women, and men, that we are, and yet it is actually quite simply to embark upon re-embracing and indeed living, what we know within to be true, eternally so…

  6. This blog is a great reminder of the fact that nothing we leave behind truly is left behind when not acted on. It comes around again and again until we make the choice to commit to the truth and take our responsibility.

    1. Absolutely Benkt – we are constantly confronted with our choices, this may be uncomfortable until we choose to live more Soulfully, then we are blessed by our choices.

  7. So gorgeous Lucy and so real – choosing the foundation for our own self-care and confirming the ripple effect this has on every area of our lives. Once it meets another’s self-care it can be a moment of tension, but the loving honesty you offered is so clear that it allows for everyone to simply appreciate the truth.

  8. Shared spaces can reveal a tension, and I appreciate the foundation you offer Lucy, on how to observe what is happening and respond with the equalness of love that was already present rather than react at the level of disturbance that was created.

  9. We all have a different idea of what neat and tidy looks like, that is true but it doesn’t mean that we stand by and avoid expressing what we feel about what happens in our shared space. The way you handled the whole situation was inspirational not to mention the way you apply tips from Natalie’s presentations to your own world. Great approach and a great way to learn more about yourself.

  10. “Feel our own love feeding us back” great words Lucy, our own love when honoured as you did when you spoke to your daughter about your drawer opens us up to a greater awareness and a deepening of that love.

  11. It really is that we reap what we sow, there is no getting away from it, sometimes we may not feel the affect for some time and sometimes it will be instant.

  12. I loved how you asked your daughter to respect your belongings if she borrowed something in the future, a great way of getting her to take responsibility for her actions and at the same time leaving her space to feel, what she had done this time around.

  13. We usually identify radical change with radical measures. Yet, true radical change can only come from introducing truth in our bodies so our patterns of movement change. The introduction of truth can be the gentlest experience ever.

  14. ‘..Natalie Benhayon simply shared how she lived.’ The way we live is so powerful and has the ability to inspire others to connect to a truer way of living. This may sound simple and obvious, but it is profound because what we are communicating is energy and the quality of what we do – this is what inspires.

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