by Lucy Dahill
The Esoteric Women’s Group (EWG) presentations have introduced a greater focus of self-care to my life. Over the years, this simple approach has meant I have been presented with some beautiful opportunities to change some of my old patterns which had left me exhausted and resentful, more often than not.
What has been shared in those groups were things I had started to connect to myself, but hadn’t realised their importance. Things like being tender with myself, noticing the roles I take on automatically, my monthly cycle and giving myself permission to pay close attention to all of it – even what my bra feels like to wear and how I set up my cupboards and drawers. None of the presentations were instructional; Natalie Benhayon simply shared how she lived. It was an opportunity to question the ‘norm’. I found the presentations brought a practical focus to what it is to be a woman. It sounds silly, doesn’t it?, that we need to be reminded of what it is to be a woman: but for those of us who have perfected the art of doing and being as un-female as possible because it might be perceived as weak, the undoing has to be a focus – a remembering of our natural way!
After each talk I would play with what had been presented until the next group – I wanted to see it for myself, to see how it could be for me, in my life. Since then I have re-ordered my drawers, my clothes, my bathroom, my bedroom and so much more… not because ‘Natalie said’, but because I love how it looks and feels.
I have been paying attention to these things for many years now and I didn’t appreciate what I had learnt and how much things have changed until old patterns started re-emerging and I was called back loudly by my own footprint of love! Before you say ‘what on earth does that mean?’ – let me give you an example…
I live in a house of 5 and have come to realise that we all have a different version of what tidy or clean looks like. In a shared house it seems to be based on what we are used to in our own spaces, primarily our bedrooms. I can tell how I am going by how ordered my space is, and when any of our bedrooms become messy I can see that lack of attention to detail or clearing away of our own things in other areas of the house. Sometimes I will just clear it away myself; other times I will get the person who made the mess to come back and clear it up themselves. I had been quite busy and had found I needed to be really efficient to keep on top of things so had returned to my pattern of “it will be quicker if I do it myself”. Thankfully that came back to bite me on the bum…
One day I went to my drawer to choose a t-shirt, and saw it in a mess. I remembered that I had said my daughter could borrow one of my t-shirts to wear to work one morning, and as I looked in my drawer I could see the ones she had tried on and rejected… they were just thrown back in, all crumpled and inside out. I felt so cross that somewhere I had come to feel a solid consistency of order was replaced by her disrespect for my space. I could have raged at her and blamed her, but as I stood there upset I realised that I might have some responsibility in this.
This had been a bit of a pattern. She had her bedroom all tidy but she would leave her stuff everywhere else. I had thought it would be the other way around and had previously decided I didn’t want to rock the boat so had let it slide, simply tidying up after her. Yet I realised she now didn’t see anything wrong with leaving my drawer open and the shirts all messed up because she was in a hurry. This wasn’t her disrespecting me on purpose – this was her putting the importance of her day ahead of respecting my space – I had allowed it before so why would I respond any differently now?
My not wanting to run the risk of ‘an issue’ had meant this pattern was now in my space – in my face! I had to do something about it now – it had crossed the line! Yet I realised that by my not having that simple conversation when these things happen, it often leads to Mount Vesuvius wanting to erupt when I do finally decide to speak up.
Now that I take more time to look after me, I notice when I have chosen to ignore these little things to keep the peace. I used to live in overwhelm all the time so needed to ‘pick my conversations’, but I was not overwhelmed anymore and it was time to have this conversation. Rather than erupt, I simply went downstairs and shared how yuck it was to open my drawer and see the consequence of her being late for work and that, should she want to borrow from me again, then she had to respect my space and leave it as she found it. There was a moment where she just looked at me, then she said “yeh, sure, sorry about that”. There was no drama, no need on my part for her to get it, no need on her part to defend. It was just saying something in the moment and moving on: it leaves me wondering if this is also part of self-care, and one to practice.
What this situation offered me was a moment to appreciate that what I had chosen to live for the past few years, was the foundation of love I had set for myself. Now there was more to see, there was a part of my relationships that was not equal to this love, and I had an opportunity now to see that and do something about it for us both.
I have a deep appreciation for Natalie Benhayon’s Esoteric Women’s Presentations and the many women who have shared their experiences over the years. It feels like we are supporting each other to build foundations so that in moments like these we can feel our own love feeding us back.
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
I love what is highlighted here that we set our own standards and that when we notice those things which do not feel right, often it’s that we’ve not been clear on that for ourselves, or in fact we’re seeing another area for us to deepen our self care and love. We can blame life, others or we can come back to us and see our next step of evolution.
The Esoteric is all about helping us to build foundations in a way that we feel truly supported along the way. This is the only way to open up to what is presented and admitted into consideration with no fight along the way.
What I have found is that self-care and self-love is an ever-deepening thing. It’s not like you make a few self-caring choices and changes and stop there, because once you’ve made those changes, you’re then more aware of what feels good and what doesn’t – and the things that don’t, really begin to stand out. This is beautiful to feel because the more we love and care for ourselves, the more full of ourselves we are (in the best way, as in feeling our qualities to the max) and the more deeply we know ourselves, and can bring that love and care to others.
Ah, to be able to say what it is in the moment, with no judgment, and with no attachment to the outcome! That feels so lovely.
It can be so simple when we choose to come from love and understanding and not reaction, expressing how you truly feel without blame or guilt. and the response was “yeah, sure, sorry about that”, you were then both able to move on, no biggie.
“There was no drama, no need on my part for her to get it, no need on her part to defend. It was just saying something in the moment and moving on.” This is the answer to many of our issues that we create in life, we hold things in and wait until we are in reaction and then say something but it comes loaded with our pent up frustration and then we wonder why we get a reaction back. This is something that I am learning to do and it makes such a different to the response I get from the other person.
To give permission to ourselves to have the initial simple conversation when something doesn’t seem ok: This seems to be a challenge for many of us, one worth unraveling even when it’s a little awkward, uncomfortable and not so simple to start, the more we do this the simpler it becomes.
I love how you understood the situation with your daughter Lucy. It is quite something to be so humble in such a situation and it shows how steady you are in yourself to not be caught in emotion and were able to observe and communicate.
When we put ourselves last and leave ourselves to get exhausted, resentment is right there behind the exhaustion..but only for as long as we allow it to be. The moment we move more gently, more lovingly, being with ourselves, instead of doing everything we can to not feel it, the exhaustion, and whatever else is in the mix, starts to loosen its grip.
I love the foot print of love – once grounded it is impossible to ignore and so true to address immediately no matter who, what, when, how, why, with the simplicity of a response.
I recently did a massive clear out of my wardrobe which took it to a whole new level. The change in everyone else’s relationship with their clothes and wardrobes has been interesting to observe – without saying or doing anything in their wardrobes it seems like there is more awareness of what is each of our styles.
Doing something we are afraid of – and the fear may simply be of a confrontation – can at times be very confirming and healing. At other times it is more of a learning experience as the fear may be justified.
“it will be quicker if I do it myself” – oh boy how many parents can relate to this one? I know I certainly can and yes in that moment it may well be quicker but in the long run as Lucy found out it isn’t. Seeing the future in the present is helping me enormously to respond to my children. It helps me see that I may as well address things in the present as leave them til later!
Thank you, Lucy for sharing, I know this one all too well “it will be quicker if I do it myself”, and I have long since learned that if we do this without addressing the situation, we can easily become resentful and overwhelmed. In those moments speaking up as you did was far more healing for both of you.
Great sharing Lucy and how awesome is it when we can see our own responsibility and once we do we can then more clearly communicate with others.
The small and often avoided conversations along the way lead to that eruption of emotion, but in truth if they can be lovingly had they will offer great development.
Yes, that is how resentments accumulate.
When I started attending women’s group meetings in London I assumed I knew what it was to be a woman because I was one – how could I not know? It has been a beautiful shared process of delicately revealing to me the sacredness of the woman I am.
I really appreciate the reminder to be aware that it is my responsibility to accept disrespectful behaviour or not. I have in the past allowed abuse from others not realising how damaging even a little abuse is! As I learn to love and honour myself more, abuse is happening less and less.
How cool is this sharing. The fact that it is showing that we have a responsibility all of the time to not accept abuse. I can say that I have let things slide in the past, and wow this really shows how that does not support us or anyone else. And when we do all take care of what is our responsibility, then this forms part of a whole that feels amazing.
I can totally relate Lucy as recently I re-imprinted my whole wardrobe and drawers beautifully as I was inspired by a presentation by Natalie Benhayon, this was a whole new level of self-care and love for me and now I am blessed every time I open my wardrobe with ‘my own love feeding me back’ each time.
Natalie Benhayon’s presentations for women are super practical and very relatable. I have been inspired by her to also make changes in my life, it’s a step by step process but each new self-loving choice is delightful to feel and something to celebrate.
Understanding without judgement is super important to any behaviour change. As much as we may hate or detest or want someone to change their behaviour it is still something we cannot change. Only they can ever change their behaviour and when we judge it they feel even less inspiration to do so.
‘..Natalie Benhayon simply shared how she lived.’ The way we live is so powerful and has the ability to inspire others to connect to a truer way of living. This may sound simple and obvious, but it is profound because what we are communicating is energy and the quality of what we do – this is what inspires.
We usually identify radical change with radical measures. Yet, true radical change can only come from introducing truth in our bodies so our patterns of movement change. The introduction of truth can be the gentlest experience ever.
I loved how you asked your daughter to respect your belongings if she borrowed something in the future, a great way of getting her to take responsibility for her actions and at the same time leaving her space to feel, what she had done this time around.
Yes, in the past I would have raked over what she had done, but hey, what does that serve. This is about next time could you please ensure you leave it as you find it – if not better. I have realised they can be the ones who show me a greater level of self care.
It really is that we reap what we sow, there is no getting away from it, sometimes we may not feel the affect for some time and sometimes it will be instant.
“Feel our own love feeding us back” great words Lucy, our own love when honoured as you did when you spoke to your daughter about your drawer opens us up to a greater awareness and a deepening of that love.
We all have a different idea of what neat and tidy looks like, that is true but it doesn’t mean that we stand by and avoid expressing what we feel about what happens in our shared space. The way you handled the whole situation was inspirational not to mention the way you apply tips from Natalie’s presentations to your own world. Great approach and a great way to learn more about yourself.
Shared spaces can reveal a tension, and I appreciate the foundation you offer Lucy, on how to observe what is happening and respond with the equalness of love that was already present rather than react at the level of disturbance that was created.
So gorgeous Lucy and so real – choosing the foundation for our own self-care and confirming the ripple effect this has on every area of our lives. Once it meets another’s self-care it can be a moment of tension, but the loving honesty you offered is so clear that it allows for everyone to simply appreciate the truth.
This blog is a great reminder of the fact that nothing we leave behind truly is left behind when not acted on. It comes around again and again until we make the choice to commit to the truth and take our responsibility.
Absolutely Benkt – we are constantly confronted with our choices, this may be uncomfortable until we choose to live more Soulfully, then we are blessed by our choices.
It’s wonderful that you share this so openly Lucy for us all, thank-you. I’ve also found that after every presentation from Natalie Benhayon, I’ve implemented changes in my own life – not as any ‘have to’s’ whatsoever, but what she’s shared has been felt so deeply as our ‘natural way’ as you’ve stated here, that things have ‘rippled through’ into how I am in my own daily routines and the love and care I actually bring to myself in this.
We have strayed so far from what it is to truly honour the women, and men, that we are, and yet it is actually quite simply to embark upon re-embracing and indeed living, what we know within to be true, eternally so…
Yes, we have strayed so far from what is normal for us as women, the simple honouring of tenderness and delicateness. I am so appreciating all the reflections and reminders from each other and from nature to re-connect to that which is innately within.
Hearing Natalie talk brings you back to something deep within that you know but have let go of. I love how practical she is and how her sharings ignite you to love yourself more deeply.
Beautifully said Kristy. I feel exactly the same – simple truths, yet every one shared resonates so deeply. I’ve come to realise just how powerful it is when someone lives what they share and teach, for if you are willing to truly listen to what’s presented, changes will indeed begin to unfold in your own life as a result.
I love this practical example of what building a foundation of what love looks like at home. I am stuck in a belief that because my closet isn’t at the standard that is high enough, meaning some things aren’t folded and some things are in the wrong spots, that when my teenage daughter disrespects this space even more than I myself currently disrespect it – my first thought is…. well who am I to say anything? I’m not setting a good enough example myself! I am now realising that waiting until I am perfect is not the answer, yes it will support if I take more care but there is no reason why I can’t say something to my daughter and next time it happens – at the time it happens, with no fuss. I am inspired to take a deeper level of self care, bring more focus to my space, and then it will be really obvious when this is not aligned to.
This brings out what we often see as a problem with someone or an issue with something they have done. In a moment like this when you catch your part, your reflection it gives the space for you to also see what needs to be done next. So often we walk around trying to push life into an order and we miss or walk past the space or in other words we don’t want to look at our part which then leads us to focus on a part, usually someone else’s part. Is this as simple as life can be, you feel something, you reflect on your part of what you’re feeling and with that awareness you do what’s to be done next?
One of the most challenging things is to not react to something that has been quite disturbing to our sense of order and then look at our part, for everything is a reflection. In calling out a behaviour without reacting, claims this – for if we are reacting we are mostly reacting to the fact that we are choosing not to see our part and therefore blame another. This offers evolution to all involved, including ourselves. Life offers this constantly to us.
Doing something because someone said so doesn’t evolve anybody.
Lucy, this is an inspiring blog to read. Attending the Women’s Groups in London with Sara Williams and all the women that attend, has been life changing and continues to offer the most amazing support for true unfoldment back to the woman I am / we all are in truth.
“It feels like we are supporting each other to build foundations so that in moments like these we can feel our own love feeding us back”.
What an amazing lesson that ignoring things ‘to keep the peace’ just never works. If we don’t address behaviours then they mount up and get incrementally bigger. This can be seen by the practical example of, if I don’t tidy up after myself, at the end of the week the house is in a shamble and it’s more exhausting to deal with because I’ve got to plough through all the energy of disregard that got me there!
I love this blog Lucy – it is such a great reminder for me to keep expressing and not let things bottle up – I am familiar with the Mount Vesuvius eruptions and it really is because I have stopped myself from sharing as things come up to be expressed. I know I am much better these days than I used to be, but there is always room for refining things!
We learn so much about ourselves, others and the world around us when we pay attention to both our personal cycles and the larger cycles that govern and guide us all.
I too “have a deep appreciation for Natalie Benhayon’s Esoteric Women’s Presentations”. I have also made many changes in my life, not because “Natalie said so” because I tried what she suggested and it felt awesome to do so and it brought a simplicity to the way I had been living that was being called for very loudly. How wonderful it is that we have such an amazing woman in our midst who is here to support us in so many ways to re-connect to the most beautiful and powerful women we are.
This is an amazing piece of writing, and I can totally relate to that tension when we can feel that there is a certain lovely, strong, committed, and deeply loving way that we have established with ourselves, but all of our past choices are still there, presenting themselves to be resolved, especially between relationships which may not have been entirely loving.
Love what you’ve shared here Lucy about letting go of the need to have ‘that conversation’ or make sure that the other person really gets it.. Being able to express the simplicity of what we felt without emotion or need to have anything resolved is communication at its simplest and clearest.
It does sound silly and in truth is actually really sad that in the hustle and bustle of modern day society we as women ‘need to be reminded of what it is to be a women’. But nonetheless we have all got so caught up in the pace of modern day life that it is true. Awesome blog Lucy.
‘Challenging the norm’- it’s so important to question what for many of us we have swallowed whole. Just simple questions of what if painful periods are not simply accepted as normal. I deeply appreciate the time and space with women to simply reflect.
I recall many times thinking ‘it’s just faster if I clean things up myself’ than ask another to clean up after themselves. But when we do this, it simply builds the resentment as we are taking on something that is not for us to do, and this also drains us. By speaking up and pointing out to another their disregard, we are also stepping up to the responsibly of seeing what is needed and hence supporting another in their learning to have more care and respect all around. If we were to clean up continually after another, this would in effect hold them back in their learning, and they would not learn to grow on that level. Lately, I have been saying to family members ‘you forgot your clothes on the floor’ or ‘you left the doors open’ or ‘you forgot to put the milk back in the fridge’ etc. It is a statement and an observation, which then allows them to act on it or not. And this of course is delived to the best of my ability, in a light hearted way, without criticism. If I do find myself wanting to clean up after another, I stop myself and ask if this is appropriate or not, and how much I am impacting on another by doing so.
Lucy, I really connected to what you shared in the blog in so many parts! Learning to be a woman by unlearning what we have learnt womanhood is about is an ongoing thing for me – there are so many ideals and beliefs that we get ingrained with as we grow up that it is a process to let go of these and allow our natural essence as a woman to come out and guide our every day and every way.
I also could relate to the living with others who have different markers for order and cleanliness. I still find myself in reaction to how others leave things, and though I react a lot less these days than I used to, there is still a part of me that has yet to learn to fully observe and not take on what I see around me that feels out of place or left in disregard. But as you have shared, it is about my taking responsibility fully by calling any disregard up with another, but shared in a way that is respectful and non-reactive (non-Mount-Vesuvius-style!)…Thank you for your gorgeous sharing as it does remind me of what I still need to work on, and inspires me to express and share rather than bottle things up and then let it erupt or feel burdened by it!
Wow how important it is to be honest and open in the moment. Knowing with time we change and go deeper with our love, so there is more for us to look at. We cannot ignore things and put them under the carpet.
This blog shows how we are responsible for our own reactions and that the only way to stop reacting to others is to build love in our own body. This way we can stop blaming other people for what is occurring for us
Oh I love the way you approached the messy clothes with your daughter. I find when I yell and get annoyed by messes my sons make, it just comes with a whole lot of emotion and for them it would be like ‘oh here we go again’ and 9 times out of ten nothing changes. What I have found is when I read the situation more, meaning when I see how I’ve contributed to it or how am I treating my own space then I’m more honest and able to talk with them instead of lecturing.
It can be very frustrating when somebody comes into your space and messes up the order you’ve set for yourself. However, when we live with other people we have to understand that what they see as orderly may be different to what we see as orderly – their level of self-regard may be different to ours and we have to respect that because if we react and tell them off, that will only make things worse.
It is interesting how, when we come at an ‘issue’ without drama or emotion, generally we don’t get any back. What a great lesson to learn. How many times have we ‘fretted’ about having that conversation which then brings a tricky energy to it before it has even started. It is like lacing the other person with a judgment before we have spoken a word.
I love coming back to this blog, it always has something to offer. Today it puts me on notice to express in the moment, or at least not hold back and delay saying something that needs to be said. This holding back feels horrible in the body, dulls our light and diminishes the power that is emerging in our expression. This is not just for us it is for everyone.
It’s great when we have something shown to us and then ask ourselves what is our responsibility in the situation, as it takes away any blame of people doing things to us. Great example.
Great example Lucy of the power of making (seemingly) small and changes in our lives, and consistently so. And of getting to the truth of a particular situation, our part in it, and expressing what’s needed to another, without expectation. Another living reflection for us all to feel inspired by – thank you!
I love the ripple effect from one woman to another. I was inspired to go bra shopping by a friend and then had such a great time and it felt so gorgeous to do that for myself. I sent a photo to some friends of my new bra and the drawer that I had cleared out that was now my bra drawer. This led to them shopping and on the inspiration went. That is the beautiful thing about inspiration – it is unstoppable.
I find that when I am around Natalie Benhayon I am naturally inspired to make changes in my life that support me more, she doesn’t even need to say anything and I find I am naturally pulled to do this. When someone is living something that is very strong in themselves we are pulled to be more of ourselves in their presence.
I could not agree more MW and I also always experience this pull to be more around Natalie Benhayon… it’s like all the things that I’ve made a big issue about is just stuff and I feel me again and can see past it. Living who we are is really powerful and inspirational.
Lucy your example of how you responded to your daughter is awesome. It shows that no learning or evolution can occur when we express from a place of reaction, whereas when we choose to express from a steadiness, love and understanding it gives the other person an opportunity to learn and respond back in a more loving way too. Great example of what we reflect is often what we get reflected back.
The truth is that neither women nor men live in a way that is natural to their essences. Yet, this is hardly a topic of open conversation. It is a no go zone. But to make it a go zone or even better to feel how beautiful and needed it is, and in the case of men, to start trusting other men and start talking to other men about their lives and not simply talking to women, is a testimony of the amazing work of Natalie and Serge.
I agree Eduardo those no go zones are killing us, and the tension is palatable at times. Holding on to what we want to say and then exploding out of frustration kills us – making open conversation our everyday practise is far more valuable for our health and the health of our relationships than we may realise.
Beautiful Lucy, your blog is a great reminder of how important it is to build true foundations in our lives and to feel how this supports not only ourselves but everyone around us as well.
I am realising just how evil niceness is. It is a soft outer layer that is a lie hiding what is truly going on for the person and how they are really feeling. There is nothing to gain from holding back how you truly feel.
Thank you Lucy for a great blog on being able to express clearly what is right for you with out blame, shame, or guilt. Many times in my life I have not spoken up wanting to keep the peace and not create waves. The times I have been able to speak from a place of love in a clear way the result has been similar to your daughters response, ” then she said “yeh, sure, sorry about that”. There was no drama, no need on my part for her to get it, no need on her part to defend. It was just saying something in the moment and moving on, it is that simple.
Lucy, what an awesome blog, reminding us that we can approach situations similar to what you’ve shared from a place of love and understanding. I often would go into a reaction and then most likely approach the other person with anger or frustration, from here, there is not one ounce of opportunity for any of us to learn but instead it creates issues, when there doesn’t need to be any. Such a supportive blog to read, thank you Lucy.
I love how you say Lucy – “…a remembering of our natural way!” – I can totally relate to this; to remembering or reconnecting with my innate expression rather than overriding it and trying to be something else that I thought I should be or wanted to look like. It’s a work in progress but a beautiful progress it is!
“This had been a bit of a pattern. She had her bedroom all tidy but she would leave her stuff everywhere else. I had thought it would be the other way around and had previously decided I didn’t want to rock the boat so had let it slide, simply tidying up after her. Yet I realised she now didn’t see anything wrong with leaving my drawer open and the shirts all messed up because she was in a hurry. This wasn’t her disrespecting me on purpose – this was her putting the importance of her day ahead of respecting my space – I had allowed it before so why would I respond any differently now.”
I love how I have found a way forward to see my part in what is going on around me. I am not perfect but I do love how empowering it is to take responsibility for my role in how my life is.
It might not be about EWG, I have had the most amazing support from women – but what I have come to realise right now, is that I don’t let that support in, not just women in the Esoteric Community, but women and men full stop. There are so many people out there every day who show me such love.
When you address stuff immediately life has a flow to it, like you expressed, there’s no build up, no eruption, life has a rhythm and an ease to it… It’s definitely worth trying out.
Leaving anything unsaid from my experience is an invitation for ‘Mt Vesuvius’ to erupt. 🙂 What is not expressed is also speaking very loudly, and we can feel and sense this from each other.
So, so true Victoria, I have experienced this many times. It feels so much more loving and supportive to express how we feel but it is also important to be aware of what energy we choose to express in. If anything is expressed from anger, frustration, judgement, etc. then it leaves everyone feeling awful, I am learning to express more and more from a place of love which is beautiful to experience as this is our natural way of expressing.
What a great example Lucy of the greater understanding we can bring when we live from a foundation that is is honouring of ourselves. Being honest and having those awkward conversations it is healing for all involved. Thank you for sharing.
We don’t support each other in life, we may think we do, but generally we don’t really, there are far and few between.If I’m honest this hurts, there is so much support we can offer one another instead of making it about ourselves and not caring about others who may need a bit of extra support. We are all in this together, till the end, which isn’t really an end, but an onwards movement, so why not help each other along the way. It’s like some of us are in a race to be the best, the first to the finish line, to say look I won, but really what do you win, when you turn around and see all your fellow brothers in a mess? What’s more fulfilling a gold medal, or seeing another light the way? For those who race to the end, even at times deliberately tripping others up – the truth is – there is no end or finish line, we simply carry on round the track to do it joyfully all again, until we are the last ones round because we have all supported one another to know the light of our Soul.
Knowing there is no end or finish line is a great opportunity to cut the comparison and competition and start supporting each other. As you say “we simply carry on round the track to do it joyfully again, until we are the last ones round because we have supported each other to know the light of the soul” – stunning.
This is very inspiring. Thank you, Lucy. How you have expressed yourself so simply, so honestly at that moment is something I would love to be able to do, I have always found that very hard. And it is not about being ‘brave’ to bring up an awkward conversation, or having a conversational skill, but having a foundation that you already live which therefore supports you – this is a real eye opener for me.
I have found that a small group of women can have a great impact and honest conversations can create a ripple effect. We are so much more powerful than we choose to realise.
One of the greatest things offered by Universal Medicine was to start sharing how is truly life for us with our peers (men in the case of men and women in the case of women) so we could help each other with our movements. Opening up to others and let them in has been quite a beautiful and amazingly supportive journey.
I love the example you give here Lucy showing how the momentum of love that you’ve been building in your daily way of living supported you to handle a challenging situation differently.
What you have written is so true, my home and car are great reflections of the way I have been living and I can feel how when I am not living with myself that the unloving choices compound on each other until I catch myself and make more honouring choices again.
Re-building our own foundation of what self love is opens up a new exploration of movements which flows into all facets of our lives. This has helped me deepen my own relationship with myself and I can see many little areas in my life where I may slip up or not want to see certain patterns appear but it is a forever evolving way of being that I simply love discovering. Honesty brings truth and truth uncovers love.
I really appreciate the evolving aspect of the self discovery. Honesty uncovers truth and truth uncovers love. It doesn’t need to be a drama unless we choose to make it so.
‘What this situation offered me was a moment to appreciate that what I had chosen to live for the past few years, was the foundation of love I had set for myself. Now there was more to see, there was a part of my relationships that was not equal to this love, and I had an opportunity now to see that and do something about it for us both.’ ~It seems like we are continually being offered the choice to be more and yet we sometimes stubbornly refuse as we stay entrenched in the ruts we have allowed to deepen. So brilliant when we have the humility to see our own responsibility for the way things are in our lives and even more awesome when we can address them with love and a deeper honouring of ourselves and of others.
Very true and I find these moments find us when we are ready, it blows the ‘in control of our lives’ theory right out of the water! I create the space and the learnings come around, if I don’t get it the first time, no dramas, it will be back with perhaps a different person, situation, flavour, but the lesson will be the same.
Fantastic blog. It’s such a great example of how self-care extend so far beyond what is generally thought of as being this. To not hold back and to speak up when it is needed or called for is most definitely part of self-care for me today (work in progress!) but a few years ago, before Esoteric Women’s Health and Universal Medicine, I viewed self-care as purely functional – mainly washing, dressing, eating, sleeping – with not a thought for the quality of the way in which I did these things, let alone bringing things like speaking up into the equation.
“There was no drama, no need on my part for her to get it, no need on her part to defend. It was just saying something in the moment and moving on: it leaves me wondering if this is also part of self-care, and one to practice.” This is a perfect example of how ‘everything is everything’ – absolutely everything we say and do, without exception, matters.
This last week I have been out and about in the local community. At a committee meeting there were 16 women, a majority were very overweight, all of them looked unwell to me and none of them looked like women to me. The next day I was at a course and again it appeared to me that the women present were very unwell-looking, and I could feel how none of them took care of them selves. This got me thinking about how I used to live, no differently from them, until I met Natalie Benhayon who inspired me to re-connect and re-claim myself as a woman, listen to my body, and honour what I felt. Now I can see how I am a reflection for all these women to know that there is another way to live.
It’s so lovely that when we bring self care into our lives we bring a measure of calm and we are often no longer in reaction. When I was in overwhelm in the past, walking in on a mess like that would have spun me further into frustration. Life doesn’t have to be like this. When we support ourselves, we give ourselves a solid foundation and we feel centered and with ourselves. When something happens, it doesn’t throw us out. This is such an awesome change of pace for me and for many women.
What a beautiful example of how practical self care is and how it can play out in all area’s of our lives. Every presentation inspires us like you say to question the norm and to reflect on how about me and the subject, no judgement involved. And always an amazing opportunity to appreciate the quality we bring.
Exactly how important is it that when ever we fall we have a foundation of solid lightheartedness where we can bring ourselves back to, to heal and let go and move on? Simply offering ourselves the space and opportunity to have and build a stronger foundation of care and love within our own lives, is allowing us to truly grow. Thank you Lucy for this reflection by your blog.
Thank you Lucy. I am imagining my reaction should someone come along and mess up one of my drawers and it is not pretty. I am really inspired by the way you chose to respond and see your part in what unfolded. It is clear to me that this enabled you to address things with your daughter in a way that supported her.
‘I realised that by my not having that simple conversation when these things happen, it often leads to Mount Vesuvius wanting to erupt when I do finally decide to speak up.’ – Lucy this is true for so many situations and I laughed when I read it because just the other day – someone in our house was using a saucepan and mixing food with a spoon – and had been doing so for a while – and what frustrated me was not so much the metal spoon, but the fact that I heard it the first time a few weeks ago and didn’t say anything, and now it had become a habit. so it makes me really appreciate the power of expression when things need to be expressed and not to wait and hope that something changes.
Thank you Lucy for the reminder that reflecting on the situation before us rather than reacting and blaming allows us to take responsibility in our own choices, so then when we come to share how we feel about another’s behaviours it is not loaded with that volcanic explosion of emotions and blaming that brings up the defences. If anything I can see from my past experiences that when I do reflect then share the other actually supports me to see another side and go deeper with it in understanding myself and them. Reflecting on this now really highlights an appreciation for reflecting and communicating rather than reacting and blaming.
Someone once told me that ‘Expression is everything’ but this is a line I have not fully understood until recently.
Like you Lucy, I have been going to little things, things that I use to avoid or erupt over, the power and growth that has occurred from actually expressing them in relationships has been life changing.
Reading your blog Lucy is a reminder that every detail matters, how we choose to be has an affect on others, and letting things go left unsaid creates tension within us. Seemingly small things as you say can turn into Mt Vesuvius.
Lucy, it is lovely to feel how when you held yourself with love and respect you were then met with the same. Usually when we go into reaction, as justified as it may seem at the time the outcome is never harmonious.
Sharing this very simple, hum drum part of life – the real basics of how we support ourselves in what we wear, how we set ourselves up at home the whole gamut of detail that makes up life seems almost irrelevant. Yet what I read is how big a support it is to hear other examples, to truly reflect on whether we are nurturing and supporting ourselves, or ignoring it and bringing in the abuse at that very simple / basic level?
Reflection is the antithesis of reaction.
In the UK we also have amazing monthly women’s groups, facilitated by the gorgeous Sara Williams in London – open to all women. I travel 2+ hours once a month to get there for a 2 hour session. Unmissable. I am constantly inspired by the women who attend – and their wisdom.
I love how when you found your drawer left in disregard, you also took responsibility for your part in that, rather than just going into a reaction with your daughter. This is truly inspiring.
Guilty of suffering from Mt Vesuvius expression in the past and in deep understanding of predicaments such as these, this was a delight to read. It is gorgeous that the loving foundation built for ourselves can support us to have understanding and loving express in accordance with this. We are the creators of our own new normal.
Shows how much we think only for ourselves and not for others
“What this situation offered me was a moment to appreciate that what I had chosen to live for the past few years, was the foundation of love I had set for myself. ” this is a great reminder to stop appreciate the changes we have made and too deepen them so others can be a loving part of them too. This is a great reflection for me to go back and see where I can go deeper.
Lucy – what you share here – and how the women’s groups allow women to ‘question the norm’ and be supported at a time where there is so much fluff around how to be a woman, is spot on. To me this is part of true education that I continue to deepen each time I attend. The topics we cover are just not talked about enough if at all, and to have that support has been huge for me, and has really helped me to see what I woman is behind the roles. Before universal Medicine I didn’t know who I was without the doing or the roles. Now I do, as do so many other women. It is very inspiring.
What I love about all of the events shared by Universal Medicine and Esoteric Women’s Health is that they offer great tools for everyday life and its really fun to explore and see what works for ourselves and our own lives. It’s really awesome and makes me see how we truly are forever learning and exploring in the school of life.
I’m finding that the less I go into blaming others for the way things are – (ie not tidying up after themselves etc) and take the opportunity to consider what the reflection is for me (ie doing things for others because it’s ‘ easier’ ‘quicker’ or because I’m identified with something etc) and what at times I know I have set up for myself – the less likelihood there will for the volcano to erupt, and the more opportunity there will be for understanding and for both parties to step up into being more responsible and aware of how their actions affect another.
I can recall how upset and shaken I was after a particular interaction with a work colleague – it was not the first time I had got upset and hurt by her disrespect but I realised that this reaction was also a pattern in my playing the victim in a game that was becoming glaringly obvious I had perfected. The truth is, I can let myself go hook line and sinker and play that same game over and over, or hold myself in the anchor of integrity. I also realise now that the challenges she and others pose for me are actually a gift. A gift to identify my hurts and weaknesses so I may let go of the prison they hold me in so I can grow and evolve and learn to value and live my qualities more and more each day. I fact, I am finding that it is the people that challenge us the most who can sometimes actually be our most powerful and greatest teachers.
This highlights one of the many things I love about Universal Medicine and the student body is that Serge Benhayon and/or Natalie Benhayon present on a topic with no attachment on us getting it or doing it and then we are completely free to choose if that feels right for us or not, and then if we choose to do it, we get to feel for ourselves the result of that choice and then again choose to continue it or not. That way it is our choice to do it (or not) and to continue it (or not) and because it is our choice (and not because someone told us to do it) it can become a lasting change in your life because it is 100% you choosing it. And long-lasting beneficial change is a rarity these days….especially in the world of up/down/fast/fads. Go Universal Medicine and Go its student body for having the courage and willingness to try things out for ourselves.
I can feel it’s time to move on from a lot of things, thank you for this. It feels so much more joyful to move on than hold on to old stuff so to speak. I’m going to have a kind of a spring clean of my body today and feel where the old stuff is to let go off – this is definitely self-caring.
” It was just saying something in the moment and moving on:” this is great to read, I so often say things or don’t – or don’t express fully, which leaves that residue of unexpressed things going round and round in my head – a bit like a broken record player. I can feel the key is to move on – not bash ourselves up but learn from the experience and take responsibility for not expressing all that needed to be said, or didn’t need to be said in some cases. The opportunity will arise again, maybe not with the same person, but until the time comes where I learn to express only from love.
For me this is the key ” I wanted to see it for myself, to see how it could be for me, in my life” to make things as practical and real as possible and see find out what world for us and our body, rather than taking it away as words. Then you absolutely know what’s true for you and what’s not – without any room for doubt to hesitation to sneak in – which allows you to become more solid and knowing in your body, in the sense no one can fool you. You know what love is.
The women’s groups have been an amazing foundation for me to really begin to celebrate being a woman and for me to bring the respect back to being a woman. I can totally relate to your blog Lucy, as I have always taken the responsibility for the way the house is kept. I used to feel this as a mix of things – a burden on exhausted days, a level of how I controlled my environment, a way of having thing the way I wanted them, a way of occupying myself, a way of avoiding other things. Now everything has changed. Now I see the value of having those conversations when they need to be had. I also got a bit creative when I felt I wasn’t being listened to, making a slideshow of photos of the messes put to chaotic music. We had a laugh and there was an acknowledgement and respect.
I love the practicalities of womanhood that Natalie Benhayon presents. Bringing life back to its very simple and fundamental basics that support us to actually go deeper in our relationships with ourselves as women.
Lucy you show how trying ‘to keep the peace’ just puts a lid on the pressure cooker that can erupt causing a greater disturbance, but by expressing how we feel at the time we feel it can bring harmony and a deeper understanding.
When the foundation of love is built, I can move in such a way that each step is a new learning towards a deeper love. The steps might be slippery, but the foundation holds me. Studying Universal Medicine has built my foundation of love.
‘It feels like we are supporting each other to build foundations so that in moments like these we can feel our own love feeding us back.’ – Beautifully expressed Lucy and your blog reminds me of how we can express to another without the hurt or reaction, and how this can lead to a deeper understanding and appreciation of self and others.
I agree Kim, when I avoid expressing something it just leads to complication and is an unnecessary drain on my energy levels. When I express something in the moment it feels lighter in my body, when we suppress what needs to be said everyone misses out on the wisdom we can bring.
Having a consistency with everything that we do has its benefits.
It is so beautifully simple to express what we are feeling, without the blame, shame, and guilt, being attached to our words. This leaves each one the space to take responsibility for their own choices, should they so choose.
That’s a supportive comment, Jill. Guilt and shame have something to do with carrying responsibility that is not mine.
Absolutely Samantha and this blog is providing the perfect example of how to take responsibility and communicate how we’re feeling. Much more harmonious than going into the blame game!
Agreed Deborah… And for me, the focus needs to be not so much the fact of whether or not we are communicating – because we are still communicating when we are silent, angry, withdrawn, judgemental etc just as equally as when we are engaging with understanding etc – but the quality, truth and purpose of that communication.
Beautifully said Carmel.
What a beautiful example Lucy of taking responsibility for the reflection that was offered to you and the way you dealt with it by explaining how you felt without expectation or any need for your daughter to get it.
When women get together and honestly share how they have exposed their unhealthy patterns and behaviours and subsequently let them go and healed them, it brings that same opportunity and inspiration of change for everyone. It is my experience that the Esoteric Women’s Group Meetings are fantastic for this as they definitely allow everyone who attends to support each other to rebuild loving foundations into how we live our everyday.
‘After each talk I would play with what had been presented until the next group – I wanted to see it for myself, to see how it could be for me, in my life’. We can be told the same principles over and over and have the wisdom of the world shared with us over and over but none of it comes alive until we actually live what we learn.
By not saying what we should say when we should say it allows such emotions like anger, resentment and bitterness to accumulate and overlay our already ingrained frustrations and hurts. This only serves to feed what we have already built up until it all becomes too much and as you say Lucy, Vesuvius erupts with the fury of all that has accumulated at once…. and can be rather overwhelming for everyone involved when it happens. So when you consider life like this speaking our truth in the moment is just as vital for our health and wellbeing as it is for everyone else’s equally. For when we don’t speak up we just allow the hurts that are already there to fester all the more and the vicious circle of hurt perpetuates itself again and again.
It’s so true Jo when we lace and burden what we say (even if it is the truth) with the charge of emotions it loads whatever we say with an unnecessary intensity that feeds everyone’s reactions making a situation far worse than it needs to be.
Beautifully said Carmel. When we all start to consistently share what we need to say simply and factually and the truth is delivered without the charge and irritation of emotions, Vesuvius will be extinct before we know it.
It is very interesting to read back over this blog nearly 3 years later. I know the author.
I know many of the people who have commented on it. Who those people are and the changes they have made in those three years in terms of their vitality, openness, lightness of being and way they live their lives is astonishing.
This is a beautiful example, I feel that we have great responsibility in all that we do, and with that is speaking up about things that don’t work.
There are also monthly Women in Livingness groups in London presented by Sara Williams which are hugely supportive of us living as true women.
The key to support each other as woman is to let go of jealousy; everything that holds us back from being open and sharing with each other the love we feel inside us. I can say by experience that I have felt in my body how it is to express my jealousy towards someone without even wanting that to occur (and it was expressed without words). The moment I felt that, I actually could feel how this energy is one of dishonesty and disapproval of self. Then secondly, not only does it make us feel sick and unhappy, it also affects that person in not a good way – as this jealousy is expressed towards them and they receive that fury of not having that.. This is how we much watch and learn to observe, feel and be honest about what a person reflects you that you might not be. At that moment I am learning now how to stay with myself in my body when these uncomfortable feelings are rising to the surface, simply to look at them for the feelings they bring up for me – observe and allow feeling them. This has helped me to have an understanding why I was jealous of that person, and seemingly this supported me to stay with myself, and this fury and jealously (sometimes even unaware of it) seems to have less control as I choose to stay with myself no matter what. I give at that moment power to who I am not, the issue or the pain. This is HUGE!
Can you imagine if we all just stayed with ourselves and felt our pains, observed these feelings and let them go.. We would be embracing each other so much more as women. It is simply our pains we have let come in our way – as once felt, the essence of a woman, we can not help but shine.
Very true Meg. I thought it was easier to not have the conversation but that allowed the behaviour so when I came to say something, I had to appreciate that I hadn’t let her know what my benchmark was in the first place therefore I had to take responsibility for my part rather than blame her.
Sometimes I avoid contacting someone or doing something because I tell myself I don’t know what to say or do, and that may be the reality of that moment but if I dwell there I can make that an excuse or justification not to act. In allowing myself to be centred and present in my body and not needing to know the next moment I can firmly, lovingly and deliberately step forward to the next moment and the next, committing to the deepest level of honesty I can reach and maybe even truth and absolute truth. Staying light and centred and present in my body, in love, is my foundation. Appreciating anything and anyone who supports this, including myself, allows for this foundation to grow and become more solid, confirmed and beautifully felt..
Very true elainearthey and thank you for the comment and expansion.
This is a beautiful sharing Lucy. I could feel that moment of Grace when you were waiting for your daughter’s response – such a confirmation of your lived love that your daughter could connect to – really gorgeous to feel and read your words, thank you.
Beautiful indeed Shelley, I feel the understanding that your writing has come with the second time this situation was occurring. It is beautiful to hear & see that Esoteric Women’s Health has and is supporting you to make more of your life based on love and re-imprinting those areas where love is lacking. This is the same for me, I am learning heaps at the moment about my life and the areas where my love is missing.
What treasures your drawers beheld Lucy, to not miss these opportunities we get to see the changes we have made, the new foundations that have been built, and to appreciate these is indeed a great stop moment to feel.
It’s one thing to become aware of the quality or more so, lack thereof, in the way in which we may go about our everyday day to day, it is quite another to not allow ourselves to slip into these ill behaviours and patterns, on auto pilot mode, as if there is no other way – ‘the undoing has to be a focus’ if I am to be the change I want to see. What I am realising is this can only be possible through continually building a body of love with which to do it with.
It really is gorgeous to discover another way of expressing or communicating when we have to bring something to another’s attention, particularly if its raised some tension or potential conflict … its like stopping an old pattern or style and beginning a new way, which really indicates the just how much of a foundation of self love and self care has been built and developed within.
Every presentation by Natalie Benhayon is just a gold mine. What is really beautiful is her art to present things which are very deep (although we may not necessarily be able to feel the depth of what she presents until we give it a go in full) in such a practical way. She is the master of the little details that make all the difference in the world. This is where she stands to present what she knows are part of the foundations where she stands. From her living way we learn and start venturing into the details of our lives and changing them slowly. As we do, what we felt as normal ceases to be and a new feeling of what is desirable and possible emerges.
Reading this again I remember asking to borrow things from my family and leaving their drawers a mess! I remember wondering what the fuss was about when they complained but also the expectation that my mother would sort it out for me – after all she did everything else for me.
I really hadn’t learnt there was a responsibility I could bring to the world which included a sock or underwear drawer. I was expecting things to be done for me and the world to flow but often it didn’t at which point I got upset and angry with my life and the universe. So seeing my part in this has been amazing. I have a part to play in the bigger picture starting with everything. I now have a great appreciation of order that honours the fact we are all connected and the flow we have between us.
I love what you share here Lucy about appreciating our foundations of Love. I too can relate to re-building this by virtue of having the opportunity to hear people such as Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon (plus many others) share on the simple ways they live their lives, that are yet so profound to those of us who have been living in a completely different way – in the ‘do-ing’ as you highlight Lucy. Appreciating the fact that they are here to give this reflection, and appreciating that we have chosen to make these changes is key. This foundation then gives us the ability to deepen our quality of Love in all our relationships, and express this so. Thank you Lucy.
A very simple experience has helped me appreciate taking the time to lovingly care for spaces and to setup my rhythm. Although these have been challenged by my own inner critic and by others and labeled inflexible, wanting things my way or perfectionistic, I hold to what supports me lovingly and have come to understand that by doing this I am respecting others and in some cases the reason that others are more ‘respectful’ towards themselves. Family is a wonderful place to ‘practice’ and learn what truly loving self is and the effects of expanding love outward has the potential to be.
Your blog raises a point of just how healing it is to truly connect and understand others which is so evident as the foundation for the Esoteric Women’s Group you attend. I can feel the importance of this and the potential that is there if we brought this depth of connection and understanding to all our interactions and relationships throughout our lives.
Thank you Lucy, your blog made me realise that love is feeding me back even if I am not always aware of it. The situation you describe could have been in my own house of 4 too. I truly appreciate how far I have come and with me how far my children have come with honouring themselves and each other when it comes to order in our house and in other areas too.
There is much to appreciate here, I agree Katinka. We cannot underestimate the power of what is brought when we build a foundation of Love in our homes. How often do we stop to truly appreciate this? It is not the norm in this world we live in, and it is what humanity truly needs.
That resonates Amelia, appreciating the foundation of Love in my home and my life is very important. I am choosing in this moment to go to a deeper level of that appreciation and to share this with my three amazing children.
“so that in moments like these we can feel our own love feeding us back.”….so gorgeous Lucy and oh so true. Since listening to what Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon have to say and choosing to take some/most of it on board I have been so much more loving with myself and it does do exactly that – it feeds you back! I took my socks off after a short walk and with great care I rolled them up and placed them in my sneakers for my next walk. And then forgot about them. When I went to go for a walk again, it was so lovely to see such care I had taken and prepared for myself – it put an extra pep in my step for sure! Thanks Lucy – great blog.
“I realised that by my not having that simple conversation when these things happen, it often leads to Mount Vesuvius wanting to erupt when I do finally decide to speak up”. When we don’t speak up it is as if the sentiment festers inside and builds on itself. It feels really horrible from the outset and yet we can convince ourselves that it is ok and speaking up later would in fact be better when, in truth, it rarely is. It is a lack of respect for ourselves and the other, a lack of consideration and ultimately a lack of love.
I love that last line about self care being a “foundation so that in moments like these we can feel our own love feeding us back”.
This is a beautiful reality we live with living in the wake of our loving choices.
Agreed Nicole. The understanding of ‘love feeding us back’ is very powerful and this blog has helped me to pause and consider the moments recently when love was doing just that. I’m sure that I haven’t always noticed what has been offered to me but this is a timely reminder to appreciate myself more often and to notice and read the reflections that come back my way.
So enjoyed reading this Lucy. So many times I would allow frustration to build up and overwhelm – mostly because I was constantly clearing up after others. As in your past ways I would of automatically cleared up and not said anything to ‘not rock the boat’ and create an explosive outburst of sorts or the many excuses which are offered in return – It wasn’t me, was a great one used. What I have learnt of late is to bring said ‘mess’ to the attention of the person who caused it as, there are so many different avenues of expressing this. Giving myself a ‘stop moment’ and express in a way which is not blaming but clarifying clearly how it makes me feel. Yes no drama. The truth touches base.
Great blog Lucy. I always enjoy reading it for it’s humour and very real everyday example of how we set up situations through our lack of expression and not dealing with things as they occur – something I have personally experienced time and time again. However you have shared with the world a way that uncomfortable situations can be dealt with, with no drama and without any intense emotions involved.
Well said Cathy. Truth can never leave us feeling less, in fact it us asks to be equal with it – it pulls us up if we are playing less. Then the choice is to accept that love or reject it.
The more order we put into our lives the easier it is to see the things that are out of order. This makes it easier to speaking up when we see something and stops things escalating into something more complicated later. This for me is an ongoing lesson but the more I speak up the easier it becomes.
It does make a difference when we don’t speak from our frustrations, and just speak what is actually felt, and not be attached to an out come. Very empowering.
What I get from you blog Lucy is the difference when space is created rather than reacting instantly and act from that reaction. I am learning that too. When I do not create the space everything I express comes with a need, from control and often with ‘rules’. Of course people don’t listen!! I wouldn’t and didn’t in the past. Or if they listen, there’s a politeness in it, rather than an honesty and equalness. Space is so important. When I am truly in space, there’s so much joy and love that it is in fact easy to communicate with love and grace. Yet, work in progress. But the fact that I am aware of it makes me know that this is possible!! Something I wouldn’t have believed, imagined to be possible in the past.
I love how you handled this- you said something at the time, you made it clear you weren’t going to stay silent or clean up after her. She then had to feel the consequences of her choices. I love how she took responsibility and you both moved on. It feels very good for us all to look at how our actions Impact others. I know I have faced this many times and it’s actually very liberating to take responsibility.
I share a house with 5 too, none of them related to me. The impulse to tidy up after them was there at the start, then I began to see that it was not serving me, or them to do this. I had to ‘psyche myself up’ , so used was I to clearing up after others ( I had been running a B&B), but once I began to explain that I expected each person to leave the kitchen particularly as they found it, and take responsibility for their own tidying, they got it. Now I rarely find a mess, and if I do it doesn’t become an issue if I point it out straight away. Being in the Esoteric Womens group in the UK has supported me enormously to express how I want my home to be.
Natalie Benhayon is a beautifully young woman who openly shares her wisdom with humanity. Clearly she has made very responsible choices for many lifetimes to access the level of wisdom she shares.
There are many comments here about giving someone space to come to their own understanding and I can feel the importance of this from Natalie giving me the space to work it out for myself too. I don’t believe my job as a parent is to do things for them, to berate them into submission or activity. My job is to make them as independent of me as possible. To that end, through their teenage years I have supported them to make their own choices and understand that each choice has a consequence. Sometimes it has been very hard to keep quiet but now I can let them go out and trust they will consider the consequences before they make a decision. It may not always the the right one in my eyes but I always respect it is the decision they made just as I have always been given that grace.
I think I can now see not speaking up as allowing the comfort and disregard to be acceptable in the house. By my not wanting to speak up it allowed her to stay in her comfort and in fact, U.S. To stay in ours. Keeping us all capped. The comfort of familiarity.
‘no blame or accusation towards her in the way she treated your space.’ When we can truly honour ourselves and another there is no place for blame or accusation in us nor defense from the other. This honour comes from the true nurturing and love we build for ourselves and it is felt by all. Beautiful to see how you are bringing this to yourself and inspiring us too.
Awesome reflection Lucy. I am particularly reminded here that…”I have been presented with some beautiful opportunities to change some of my old patterns which had left me exhausted and resentful, more often than not “, as well, within my own life. What a wonderful description of how your realization unfolded and what the deeper meaning of it was for you. It was a win win for everyone involved. You took a unified, loving approach and it paid off in bucket loads for all. This is a direct link to the wisdom we are learning from the Esoteric Women’s group and the foundations we are all building together in loving service to humanity.
‘we can feel our own love feeding us back’, This is one of the many beautiful, confirming and empowering aspects of building our own foundations of love, by the choices we make in our daily lives, love feeds us back, we do not have to seek it.
Honouring ourselves as women encompasses all aspects of our life and although I may struggle with this at times, I can feel the imbalance when I am less than honouring of myself in a particular area of my life. Lucy what you have shared has ben very helpful.
There are so many things to appreciate in this blog.
The relationship you have developed with your daughter, the detail to which you have gone to in what supports you and how to take care of yourself, the journey you have with yourself in the choice you made about the way you communicate, and how that choice plays out within your relationships.
All of these things I have witnessed also as part of so many people building more intimate, more self aware, healthier lives for themselves through the support of Esoteric Women’s Health.
I am a sound engineer that has worked on many events where Natalie Benhayon presents and I am very grateful for how much I have been able to implement in my own life as a man from what she offers.
Yes this is amazing !
‘Yet I realised that by my not having that simple conversation when these things happen, it often leads to Mount Vesuvius wanting to erupt when I do finally decide to speak up.’ I can so relate to what you say about holding back and not speaking my truth at the time and then erupting with Vesuvius proportions later on – often out of context and with a magnitude way beyond what is necessary! Ouch.
I can relate to Mt Vesuvius too Lucy and Suse. Yet, the long term benefits of the Way of the Livingness and what Natalie and Serge Benhayon present about honouring and respecting ourselves as women are that where we once would have known no other way, and no other way in the future, now we know that by working on our expression, by truly honouring ourselves, our future will only bring more amazing moments of ‘love feeding us back’, love sharing with others for others, and less volcanic eruptions that hurt all involved. There is nothing like it.
A constant refinement to what we allow, or not, is all the details to our issues, the situations we find ourselves in. It’s after all a learning, and no pressure to have to get it right
Suse can definitely relate to your comment; being on the other side of any mountain erupting is usually not so cool, all the while it could have been prevented by… Us
Very inspiring!
Tidying up after others ‘just to keep the peace’ and because it is quicker is certainly a trap I fell into. This is a reflection for when we feel upset or resentful at another’s behaviour around us to ask the question how has my own behaviour and way of living been the underlying cause. So a prompt to clear up my own disharmony first.
Yes Mary, very humbling and stops the victim mentality that can be so comfortable when tidying up after everyone! I remind myself very regularly that I have a choice. I also have a job to share with my children how to be responsible themselves, what it is to live in a shared house, how to bring their love and support to communal spaces as well. This is not simply about lightening my load but about empowering them and equipping them with life skills.
Thank you Lucy, very inspiring to read how it is important to see your own responsibility in every moment. How nothing ‘just happens’ but is a result of choices that were made before.
I can very much relate to clearing up something for another because I think it is going to be quicker / easier but in the long run, because it allows the pattern to repeat itself, it ends up being harder work and taking longer.
Natalie Benhayon is a wonderful example of a woman living as a woman, not based on age or experience. A natural way of being that is honoring to herself and all around her.
It is beautiful to have role models such as Natalie to guide the way and show that being tender and loving with ourselves is not only natural but required in bringing the true expression of a woman through.
I have always been a fairly tidy person and kept my things it order whether at home or at work, but now I do it not because I should keep things tidy, but because I am aware how very supportive and lovely it feels to care and honour myself in this way. From the Esoteric Women’s Groups I have also become aware that this order brings a wonderful foundation to the beginning of each day.
How wonderful Kelly, and also a wonderful moment to appreciate that this is how you have always felt to support yourself. Bringing more awareness to the support it offers us increases our appreciation and as you say, gives a confirmation of the love you hold for yourself. That is beautiful and brought a smile to my face as I read the comment.
I have found the order I now live in is my foundation for order in my everyday, if this gets disordered I know immediately I’m out of order. This sounds very disciplined but it’s not when its lovingly done to support me it’s actually very nurturing and not a chore at all.
I totally agree merrileepettinato
I love the phrase ‘out of order’ because it says both something is not working but also something is causing a disruption with everything around it so that everything around it is being asked to really focus on remaining divinely ordered and by doing so is asking what is out of order to come back into its natural flow again.
So I like the phrase for alluding to the fact that whatever is ‘out of order’ has an order that can be restored and this can be a simple matter.
Well said, none of it is a drama, simply a reflection. Order seems to have been seen as a bad thing and part of control but to me it helps keep the simplicity going in my life. If things around me are disordered then I find my thoughts are as well. The outside is definitely a reflection for the inside!!
yes Angela, I have noticed a big difference when I clean from a sense of fear, expectation or control. I can often feel exhausted and out of flow. Cleaning in connection is a joyful dance and feels effortless and still.
‘feel our own love feeding us back’ – how very empowering this is. In feeding ourselves this way, less and less is the need to look outside of ourself to fill up. Its so true Lucy, continually building a foundation that supports deeper and deeper levels of care, and taking moments to appreciate this along the way, sets a platform for all to feel supported by.
Gorgeous blog Lucy and extremely helpful in the way you shared how you made simple yet profound changes in your everyday livingness.
Hi Lucy, I appreciate you raising the need to ‘un-do’ what we think it is to be a woman. You are right that attending the women’s groups and being inspired by people like Natalie Benhayon has been a huge reflection to me as to what is self care but not indulgence, what is sexy but not attention seeking, what is loving but not giving away our power, and what is truly feminine rather than societies mould. I am ever-inspired and grateful to have such role models in my life.
It is so beautiful that from questioning the norm, and creating a foundation and footprint of love for yourself, that this now supports you to see those areas that are not equal to this love so that you can choose lovingly to expose them in absolute honour of what you have built for yourself. Just gorgeous.
This is a great reminder of how we can change the patterns around us with a loving approach rather than by going into reaction and playing out our old ways. It takes out the tension in the situation and also takes away any need to carry that tension in your body. Thank you Lucy.
Thank you Lucy it is so beautiful to read how you have created a foundation of love for yourself and also addressed when this was not reflected in your relationships. So inspirational and supportive of challenges I am currently facing in several of my close relationships.
Thanks Lucy. The reminder that we all have responsibility in everything is so important in being able to bring about true change in our lives.
An inspiring sharing Lucy! I have a member of my family at times talk in a bit of an annoyed tone with me, I can see how this reflects the way I demand information of them. So recently I simply asked them to not be so annoyed with me that I was actually willing to listen to them and if they wouldn’t mind to take the time to explain it to me as I felt it was important for me to understand the details in full. This worked really well and they explained it to me in a very loving way. If we do not react, communicating to each other in an open and honest way works really well.
Thank you for sharing Lucy! It was a very valuable read.. Especially how you felt and expressed when your daughter left your space, how she did… That could have gone very differently ! And not for the better.. I find it very cool how you were able to see it the way you did and respond accordingly. The simple exchange that you had with your daughter is different too… I had a thought that the response was too blase and not caring enough. It was cool to note that this wasn’t the case, and it doesn’t have to be a big thing, but rather a simple understanding.
I know this experience, worrying about expressing myself incase I got attacked, or created an issue…’My not wanting to run the risk of ‘an issue’. It is interesting because the issue is there whether we voice it or not. So much better to talk about how we feel and not bottle it up. I used to feel a pressure and frustration within me when I did not express myself, this discomfort is greatly reduced through expression.
This is such a clear example Lucy of how if we build a true and consistent foundation of love in all we do and are then it most definitely feeds us back. I feel it is so true what you say that having built this foundation it then offers you opportunities to go deeper and to extend this out to all our relationships – showing us where we can bring more of ourselves. How beautiful and supportive is that.
Awesome Lucy, what you have shared extends so far beyond the t-shirt drawer.. Seeing our responsibility in how we have let things play out is a huge learning if we can be honest, and hugely empowering. Letting situations go without expressing what was needed in that moment, I have learned does not not magically make things go away.. they only get more feral and difficult to address further down track. Life has a beautiful way of keeping presenting to you what you need to learn until you get it 🙂
This blog is a beautiful reminder of the importance of self-love, self-care and self-nurturing which are all part of our natural responsibility to ourselves (and others) and how important to claim that all of the time.
Hi Lucy I loved reading about how you stopped to understand what you were reacting to and how you “unpacked it” I find it can be too easy to fly off and blame someone else yet the value in stopping and taking responsibility for our part before an interaction can make a huge difference to the outcome.
Beautiful, how everything we leave to be, collects into a consequence of how we lived. And when we act on it, it is very simply cleared out of the way. But when we don’t, it will go on and it builds until we really can’t get past it any more..
“What this situation offered me was a moment to appreciate that what I had chosen to live for the past few years, was the foundation of love I had set for myself.” Beautiful to appreciate such a foundation.
I love the example you share here Lucy, reflecting how our soul is constantly assisting us and reflecting to us where we are ready to bring and live more love.
Great reminder Brendan thank you – it is so.
Dear Lucy what a powerful blog calling love into action. It brought up in me that lack of sharing myself at the presentations knowing that I have something valuable to share with other women and that is me.
“Now that I take more time to look after me, I notice when I have chosen to ignore these little things to keep the peace. I used to live in overwhelm all the time so needed to ‘pick my conversations’, but I was not overwhelmed anymore and it was time to have this conversation” Such a great way to have conversations rather than reacting from emotion. Looking after ourselves is so important, otherwise we give our power away to others, expecting them to enable us to feel ok. If things don’t go ‘right’ we can deal with them in a mature way and investigate what everyone is feeling about a certain situation – responding rather than reacting.
How beautiful that you can appreciate the foundation that you have built, and the new layers that are offered to look at, because of the choices you have made. This is a big learning for me and perfect timing as there are some things in my face at the moment for me to look, at but at the same time to not stop appreciating who I am and the big choices I have made lately.
Hi Lucy, I appreciate when you write “giving myself permission to pay close attention to all of it”. Only when I truly focus on something that needs all my attention (which everything should) that I take full responsibility for it. The beautiful thing about this, when I fully commit all I need and know is there to attend to it. I trust completely (you must) to honour that feeling, just as long I fully commit.
That is Gold Rik. In fully committing the magic happens, in the mundane the glory and the return to great simplicity.
Thank you, Lucy. Indeed, you sharing your experience here is a great support for me. It is very inspiring to read you were able to recognise your responsibility because you already had been living on the foundation based on love.
Great comment Fumiyo I know that when in my day if I have been loving myself with loving choices, then when an unloving one presents itself I can then choose love in that moment or call in a force to then make the unloving choice. I often then feel the energy in my legs telling me that I’m going the wrong way. This energy then has to be cleared by love.
There is so much in this blog Lucy. One of the things that struck me as I read it are the amazing practical gifts we have received from the esoteric women’s presentations presented by Natalie Benhayon. As you say everything shared was so practical and easy and at the same time revelatory, giving me this sweet beautiful permission to express myself as a woman again. There is nothing mushy soft about a woman being a true woman, on the contrary it is inspiring and powerful as you share beautifully what you came to with you and your daughter.
I absolutely love your approach to this situation. So many people would just get annoyed and put full blame on the other person – but you asked – what is my part in this? And it feels like from asking that question you realised there was so much more going on to this situation than first met the eye – very inspiring thank you!
Yes Meg we can bring this understanding to every situations, things that other people do that bother are a constant reflection of ourselves and our choices. That makes every ‘unpleasant situation’ a very interesting one to observe and learn from, an opportunity to grow that we offer each other constantly.
What is it that we are so afraid of by “putting up with things” and “letting things go”, this just leads to tension and doesn’t make sense. I have been my own worst enemy with this one, not speaking up for fear of not being liked or not believing I was worthy enough to put myself first. All this has changed since Universal Medicine, once self worth has kicked in, I am realising that I am the only one who can speak up for me, no one can do it for me, so thank you for the inspiration. And I agree, the Women’s Presentations are a unique, welcoming and intimate way to connect to other women and share our experiences about what it is to be a real woman in the world today and Natalie Benhayon is a great reflection of a beautiful, sexy, gorgeous example of what a true women can be.
Not speaking up because we don’t want to create an issue, I can relate to that. The irony of this is that by not speaking up, we create an issue anyway, because that what has not been expressed, stays in the body and then this becomes the issue. By just saying in the moment what needs to be said, life remains very simple and we can all move on to the next moment, without an issue..
A beautiful sharing Lucy. It’s so true that everyone who shares a house has a different version of what clean and tidy is. As I sit here looking at my house I can see how I have compromised myself and what I have tolerated in sharing rather than speaking up on what is respect when sharing a house. This is what you have shared so beautifully. Perfect blog for me to read today.
Great Lucy, I love how you have spoken about the ‘changes’ you made in your everyday then supported you to not only see an old pattern but say what you are feeling about it and then go a long way to healing it. This part, “What this situation offered me was a moment to appreciate that what I had chosen to live for the past few years, was the foundation of love I had set for myself” Too often we get caught in a situation of trying to work an issue or a problem without having first having something to ‘stand’ on. As you are saying the past few years what you had chosen had given you a “foundation of love” to stand on in that moment with your daughter and from there everything changed. This confirms to me and as you are also saying, the ‘work’ you do on how you are has the power to change everything, the self responsibility. Thanks Lucy.
Thanks Lucy, I find Natalie Benhayon’s presentations to be inspiring as well! And you’ve just inspired me to clean up my clothes drawers, they have been getting some neglect for a while, thank you.
I resonated right away with: “My not wanting to run the risk of ‘an issue’ had meant this pattern was now in my space” – I SO get that Lucy! The other side of it is when the other person controls by making an issue if things are brought to their attention – then we shrink away from calling it out because we will have to deal with their reaction every time. It’s so important to find a way to break this pattern, even if it’s uncomfortable and confronting for both parties. Breaking the pattern can bring the ease you experienced in simply speaking to your daughter and having it accepted. You’re right about this being part of self-care, because allowing the stress of unexpressed feelings is not nurturing, and being able to express truth any time is nurturing. This is also something I’ve learned from Natalie Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
Thanks diannetrussell for what you said that if another persons reacts when we bring things to their attention, we can shrink away from calling it out because we have to deal with their reaction. It is important to find a way to break this pattern. I am learning to do this with one particular relationship in my life. I know I have to work through this with him as it feels so harmful in my body to hold back any longer. I am learning to see that it is as much for me as it is for the other person even if they may not see it like that at this time.
Thank you Dianne just what I needed to read this morning as I am being presented with several opportunities to express my truth and take better care of myself ‘You’re right about this being part of self-care, because allowing the stress of unexpressed feelings is not nurturing, and being able to express truth any time is nurturing.’
Thank you Lucy for your beautiful sharing. I too love the presentations of Natalie Benhayon; she has inspired me to make many loving changes in my life and especially in my relationship with me as woman. Her incredible wisdom has provided me, and many others, with a supportive foundation to make these changes, but not once has she told me what to do, but has simply shared how she lives. That is inspiration enough!
Beautiful Lucy. It does feel wonderful to re-imprint the way we are with our belongings as well as with our relationships! After Natalie Benhayon’s presentations I have also reorganised all my drawers and wardrobe so that every day getting dressed is a pleasure and not a shambles! It is my love for me reflecting back to me which feels gorgeous and is a very supportive way to begin each day.
Ditto Jo, I recently had my wardrobe redesigned and it has made such a difference to the way I honour my clothing and therefore how I dress myself – its a delight and I know I take that into my day.
I love what you have shared here Lucy. Love is always guiding us to deeper and deeper levels. A wonderful reflection shared and one that I’m sure many mothers and daughters have experienced.
Thanks Lucy for sharing. It’s funny how when we don’t express what we need to express at the time it’s needed, it can build up to a Mount Vesuvius type eruption. To not hold back and say what needs to be said, goes along way to stop the energy getting stuck in our own bodies.
One aspect at a time, viewed differently and expressed with a higher amount of love is all it takes. Consistently bringing more of this daily, allows one to turn around each week or in different moments, to appreciate the foundation we’re building for ourselves and those around us. Great example, thanks Lucy.
Thank you Lucy, in sharing this here it feels like you are supporting others, myself included, to help build our foundations so that in those kinds of moments (and more) we can also feel our own love feeding us back. Beautiful.
Thank you Lucy for sharing your unfolding. I can relate to much of what you have written especially tidying up after my children because it is easier than getting them to do it themselves. The thing is that this belief is not true and supports no one. It does not support my children to be more responsible and it does not support me to honour how I feel and simply express. I am learning that “just saying something in the moment and moving on” is very honouring and supportive of everyone.
” It sounds silly, doesn’t it?, that we need to be reminded of what it is to be a woman: but for those of us who have perfected the art of doing and being as un-female as possible because it might be perceived as weak, the undoing has to be a focus – a remembering of our natural way!” So many women – myself included – have felt the way to get on in the world was to become more masculine, using male drive to be strong, to achieve, get noticed etc. The women who rise to the top of their professions are often more driven and hard – witness Maggie Thatcher as the British PM years ago. To accept and allow myself to feel fragile and vulnerable, as a woman, is still a work in progress – and to realise that there is strength in this. Building and allowing my tenderness is something I now appreciate daily.
This is such a great post Lucy, the reality of family life and how easily we do let things pass and not say anything to rock the boat and create family friction/tension. Whilst all the while not expressing builds the tension. Your ability to pause, reflect, and see more before expressing instead of reacting, is a great example in taking responsibility – to speak up, and in this present love to your daughter in which she could see ‘the effects’ of the busyness of her day detrimentally led to her (unconsciously) abusing you and your space.
‘My not wanting to run the risk of ‘an issue’ had meant this pattern was now in my space – in my face! ‘ So true, Lucy. We aren’t doing anyone any favours by holding back, especially ourselves. I have really underestimated how harmful it is not to share how I’m feeling. Even if we aren’t using our words, we’re still expressing through our bodies, so the other person feels it anyway, but without words it’s as though we are choosing to keep the other person ‘out’. What message are we really sending out when we do this and how is it affecting the other person. Ouch.
We certainly are still expressing when we don’t express, in fact I think it may be even louder than when we do! I love how now I can much more easily just say what I feel, that is a direct support from the Esoteric Women’s groups in London, where we have grown together in our ability to be honest about what, and what we are not expressing, but are all feeling!
It is so true that when we hold on to the attachment of being safe in a relationship, and forgo expressing the truth when felt, this holding back does build an unease in our bodies. I have experienced this many times. It builds in frustration and is often then expressed as such, or in anger or blame. I love how you were able to feel the foundation of love that you have built for yourself, as from here what is not love becomes obvious and with this love you brought understanding to the situation and simply expressed the truth, with your love deepening your loving foundation – beautiful.
I can really relate Carola to ‘the attachment of being safe in a relationship’ and therefore not expressing my truth when I feel it but how the holding back of this is felt and creates waves and tension and hurts both of us. As I have gradually built a more loving foundation for myself I have grown in my recognition of what I need to express and found more loving ways of doing this and so usually get less negative reactions because I am not dumping on the other person simply stating how it is for me.
Lucy what you share is deeply important – I love that communication from a foundation of love and self-respect is simple – no nagging or emotional reaction or big mountain required, just leading the way by lived example. I too am appreciative of the simple but profound wisdom that has been offered by Natalie Benhayon’s Esoteric Women’s Presentations.
It is gorgeous Lucy how your own self-care and nurturing highlighted this act of disregard and then gave you a steadiness to deliver what needed to be said, with love. In all this you illustrate how presenting and sharing the truth is an equal and vital part of self-care too.
Thank you for sharing this jeannettegold. I can feel how nurturing is a lived experience and needs to be felt in the body. If we don’t nurture ourselves we will be unable to nurture another.
Thank you for sharing your experience Lucy. I can see how there are aspects of self-care, self-love and responsibility in the example you shared with your clothes and your daughter. I can feel how, when an “issue” such as this arises, being love and holding the other person in love, allows an understanding to be reached together without reaction.
“I can feel how, when an “issue” such as this arises, being love and holding the other person in love, allows an understanding to be reached together without reaction”, I can see this too Lee, it is so true. I would also add that if something feels true, even if it initially confronts us and we find it challenging to speak up, it becomes true for everyone, and everyone consequently wins.
This is beautifully expressed Lee.
Hi Lucy you found an opportunity to express with your foundations of self love and this is something that presents itself to me every single day. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and, YES, Natalie Benhayon’s Esoteric Women’s Presentations are amazing. 🙂
Thank you Lucy for this awesome sharing. I cannot express my appreciation deeply enough of the support from Esoteric Women’s Health in the journey and exploration to bring deeper love for myself.
How simple and true, Lucy. First it’s been a great learning for me too, that there is a responsibility to everything around me. I too got very inspired to look at how I have arranged my drawer, kitchen workplace or even the cave simply by other peoples sharings. And the moment I got that as a self loving, self appreciating act it wasn’t a deal anymore to do things. It is even a great reflection to see where I am at if thing are now “messed up”.
Well said Lucy. My situation has been addressed in your words. I do need to have a different way to call people out and be heard.
Beautiful blog, Lucy.
Loved your blog Lucy and can relate as I have two daughters and for years I was picking up after them and I would tell them off, but with frustration and resentment, only for it to fall onto deaf ears. I have since learnt that there is a different way to call people out when they are being untidy and not to have the expectation beforehand that they won’t listen.
Thank you Lucy. This really makes sense! when we just explain to another simply without holding back and trying to ‘keep the peace’ then there is an understanding relationship. This has helped me a lot thankyou
Lucy you are so right. It really is about building a strong foundation of responsibility for ourselves. To allow it and surrender to the deep love,care and support we all carry within us naturally so.
I really enjoyed this blog Lucy. It is a great example of a woman living her truth.
Very inspiring Lucy, Thank You. I love what you have shared, it is reflecting back to me the areas that I have not paid much attention to. I also can recognise how easily I can go into reaction but by slowly building up my self-care and self-love it will change my everyday experience to be so much more amazing.
Simple things Lucy but I agree, really life changing. When I walk in to my wardrobe and see and feel the order, I know that is a reflection of me – when I walk in and there is chaos – I want to walk straight back out again…and that is how it is in my body as well. If chaos reins in the body, I want out…The simple practical everyday things done with love and regard are there tomorrow to support me ..and boy does it make a difference!
It is so important to take the responsibility for how you are in your live and don’t let something take you off, and when it does recognize it and just call it out. A great inspiration! Thank you Lucy.
I can relate to how the women’s group brought attention to things you were already aware of but had not appreciated and recognised how important these sometimes very small details have such an impact on the quality of our lives and ourselves and how we end up feeling during and at the end of our day. I am becoming more and more aware of this and it is definitely having an impact on how I feel, my quality, my thoughts and life in general.
Hello Lucy, thank you for what you have shared. I have been to the Esoteric Women’s Groups (EWG) as well and found what has been shared there very open and inspiring. It gave me an insight into women and what really goes on for them and yes I am a man. I also support what you are saying, going to what you are feeling at the time with any situation gives it a different light. I have found that by not going to what you are feeling you end up with an eruption of emotion as you have rightly called, “Mount Vesuvius”. But as you so rightly explain if you have something that affects you, by going to it and speaking about how you are feeling and not blaming others or bottling it up gives the opportunity for things to be different. Thanks again Lucy.
Lucy thank you for sharing such a honest and practical blog. “If I truly loved and stayed with me, could I just accept someone else’s reaction as theirs, not mine, knowing that I don’t need to rely on a positive response to validate how I feel about myself?” This resonated so strongly with me because I have been made more aware now where I react in situations too. This is such a huge breakthrough for me. I now realise I don’t need to react because I care for myself so much more and can appreciate myself more too.
I can really relate to your blog Lucy. Especially in terms of letting things slide and then them coming back to bite. You share a beautiful confirmation of how simple our communication and interactions can be when we come from a place of steadiness and stillness simply expressing in the moment what needs to be said. Thank you.
Lucy I can completely relate your experience especially the pattern of erupting like Mount Suvas erupting. I too have found addressing the issue in the moment makes a huge difference. Sometimes I find addressing the issue needs to be repeated before the pattern changes but with some patience with myself and others it does change.
Yes I can relate to this, and I can see how often I have chosen to react rather than take responsibility for what I allowed in my home. I can also swallow the pill of realising that the lack of respect came from me too many a time. Ouch!
But now I see a way forward, and it’s all ok, nothing to wallow in, just more supportive choices to make, and this I can do.
Thank-you for this simple example of how allowing others to take more responsibility for their actions can also be about being more responsible in supporting of self.
Beautiful blog Lucy. The Esoteric Women’s Health groups have been a huge inspiration to me in many simple, practical and powerful ways that you describe. By taking responsibility for the many aspects of my life and relationships there is an ease and steadiness to my life that was not there before. Super inspiring.
Beautiful awareness Lucy, I can feel and now understand what you have presented; how making more self loving choices and deepening our relationship with ourselves, all other relationships start to shift to mirror that level within. Many opportunities surface for me to calibrate this love yet I stay mute most of the time and go into the pattern of reaction. Thank you for making more sense of this with your tidy drawer example. I can feel the responsibility I have to expand my self-care into all areas of my life.
Lucy this is great, I definitely can relate to what you have shared on every level.
Awesome Lucy. Having the love to address things simply as they happen and not let them slide or build up to Mt Vesuvius … it certainly is how we deal with the little things everyday that makes the difference, and Natalie has been inspirational in drawing our attention to this fact.
Wow, the absolute simplicity of this is amazing.
Dear Lucy, your story is so simple, yet profound in how we manage our relationships and material possessions. I enjoyed hearing your experiences and also deeply value what I have gleaned from other beautiful women within the esoteric community.
I’ve loved reading your blog Lucy. As you have mentioned, I have found the Esoteric Women’s Health presentation extremely valuable in presenting simple everyday tips that we can easily apply in our lives if we so choose to. They are nothing ‘out there’ or difficult to do, in fact they seem to mostly be common sense. The presentations offer lovely reminders to what we innately already know, but perhaps we have forgotten or have not had an awareness of. Yes, we are all in this together and the Women’s presentations I find offer me true support for my daily life.
Thank you Lucy, great writing. The opportunity to question the norm and then focus on the undoing is what stands out for me in all of what Natalie offers. Reading this blog reminds me of how we have to undo those patterns that we have created and learn to live more from the beingness.
Hi Lucy. I am in the process of clearing out my flat ready to move. I can really relate to what you say about things being tidy, because everything is everywhere at the moment. I haven’t quite mastered moving home yet.
Yes I agree Alison and Lucy. There is definitely a simplicity in expressing the truth. The truth is always felt by the other.
“There was a part of my relationships that was not equal to this love and I had an opportunity to see that and do something about it for us both.” A beautiful example of taking responsibility in relationship and growing a stronger foundation of love in and for oneself and another.
Lucy, reading your blog, what came to me was a feeling of familiarity. Not the same words, not the same stories but nonetheless familiarity in the sense of hardening, protecting and burying anything that could be interpreted as weakness. Independently of gender, in one way or the other, this is the story of most of our lives. You are totally right regarding the importance of the groups (groups of women and groups of men) created under the umbrella of Universal Medicine to work with each other in a way that permits what is true and was buried to come up again as we learn to relate without protecting ourselves. Working together is the only way to learn to feel and appreciate the preciousness, delicateness, sensitivity of every one.
The esoteric women’s groups and the beautiful women who attend have been an enormous support to me, reconnecting and nurturing and honouring the woman I am.