Appreciating Myself

This morning I needed to book several business flights online – something that would usually take me 10 minutes. Today the website was being temperamental and I had to spend a great deal longer going backwards and forwards, entering a lot of information and reserving seats. When I finally got to the last click to pay, the website suddenly took me back to the home page and lost all the information I had entered.

I gently stood up, went to the kitchen and got myself a glass of water. I calmly returned to my computer to start the whole process again. As I sat down, I paused for a moment to appreciate myself. In the past I would have reacted and probably ranted and raved if something like that had happened. This time there was barely a blip. On the second round everything went smoothly and I quickly made my booking.

I realised that I felt so lovely in myself that I was not interested in reacting, because that would take me away from me. I know how unpleasant emotional reactions feel in my body and am not interested in them anymore, so they happen less and less. Equally, I have no desire to eat sugar because when I do I get all racy and that feels so horrible and noisy in my body. For these reasons many things have naturally changed; such as my diet, what I say, what I think, how I move and the energy I do things in.

Appreciating myself is something quite new for me: also a big note of appreciation to my beautiful Benhayon friends, who by being themselves showed me another way and inspired me to re-discover myself.

How lovely it is to enjoy being me – what could be better?!

By Nicola Lessing, Tweed, Australia

241 thoughts on “Appreciating Myself

    1. I agree Simonwilliams8, when we choose to show the world who we are by staying connected to our essence, everyone and everything receives a blessing, through our deep connection we are certainly very powerful, expansive and emanating love effortlessly.

  1. We give so much credence, focus and effort to what we do that for most being with our bodies and the quality we feel in our bodies may not even be on our list of considerations in life. But as I am learning to make the quality of my inner environment no.1 it is as you’ve shared Nicola, so much grander than any emotion or food or task we could ever do but in fact makes what we do so much richer.

  2. Appreciating ourselves is key. I have found when I react to things or to people this means I am disconnected from myself. Often I feel a deep sadness afterwards, simply understanding I am feeling this way because of feeling the sadness of choosing to disconnect from myself in the first place, helps me eliminates any blame on others. Your beautiful example Nicole, shows how choosing to stay connected to ourselves we are less likely to react and by appreciating ourselves supports us to stay connected. The power of appreciation is amazing, it is so worth practising.

  3. If every force has an opposite equal, when something does not work out as ‘it should’ we have to work on us just to make sure that we will no longer be the cause of what disturbs us (further).

  4. Thank you Nicola, I can feel the appreciation I also have for myself and for others when we stay steady and purposefully yet lovingly get on with what needs to be done.

  5. Gorgeous Nicola, understanding we have a choice in every moment to react or to remain with ourselves is monumental. When the relationship you have with yourself is so lovely as you describe, it is little wonder you choose to stay with it.

  6. Awesome Nicola… and how wonderful for the people you live with! I too react less… and it is quite revealing when I now see others react, especially with devices not working, and how their reactions affect everyone and of course themselves so much more clearly. When we don’t react it also diminishes the need to blame anyone or anything.

  7. Great sharing Nicola. What a relief and a blessing to our precious body when we can stay steady in the face of a potentially frustrating situation . . . and then to be able to appreciate that is the icing on the cake.

  8. “I realised that I felt so lovely in myself that I was not interested in reacting, because that would take me away from me.” The short-term of hit of pleasure of a sugary bun, or some other form of ‘treat’, is nothing to feeling the joy of being me.

  9. I have those moments too, when you try to do something and it just doesn’t flow, but you come back a little later and it’s done in 10 minutes – no pause, no hesitation. It’s always because I have arrived at the first point, and my body is not ready for whatever I need to do, so I’ve made choices that have compromised my quality, my steps after that to regain my quality mean that the second attempt is plain sailing.

  10. Appreciation – love it, learning more about it and the effects it has on me and my body every day. It is quite extraordinary really… To feel appreciation for oneself, deeply, is invigorating and nourishing. And I am getting pretty good at it!

  11. Love what you shared Nicola, appreciation is so powerful, joyful and healing. I am just starting to get a handle on it after a lifetime of denigration, it feels so freeing just to be me and as you say “what could be better.”

  12. I can still get frustrated and react when things like what you’ve described happen Nicola. What is great to observe is how I am with myself in the day that leads to an angry reaction or where I simple get on with things and don’t react.

  13. I love the simplicity shared here Nicole, knowing we have a choice to respond instead of react is an absolute game changer – and a powerful choice that supports our bodies.

  14. “…I was not interested in reacting” – When you get to that stage in your life you know that the work you’ve done with yourself has paid off well. Being in reaction will be the demise of our society. We don’t speak about it too often because I don’t really think that people know how to not be in reaction and emotional about things. The teachings that are presented by Universal Medicine however gives you the simple tools to detach from the world of emotions and reactions. It wont be gone forever of course but it’ll allow you to feel that there is a life beyond the emotional way of life where you can observe what is going on and respond when it’s needed. And if there are emotional patterns they can be felt and be let go of. Quite a healthy way of going about life. And your sharing is but a simple testimony of that Nicola.

  15. Appreciation is a key part of The Way of The Livingness ( and I have a found a key benefit of living that way is the steadiness in which you can live your life. It provides a strong foundation in which you can stand upon, and from this foundation it can be easier to choose to respond to life and its events than react. And the more you appreciate that you have responded than reacted, the stronger the foundation. Simple and beautiful stuff – as your blog shows us!

  16. I love how appreciation puts everything into perspective…we feel our own loveliness first before the ‘issue’ we need to address.

    1. Yes, appreciation supports you to feel connected in and with your body, which then seems to make it impossible to move into a reaction. It also supports you to be in the observation of something rather than absorb, take on or change the way about yourself.

  17. That moment when we do choose something that supports us or we don’t slip into an old behaviour, needs to be noticed and really felt. Often these moments pass us by, then the new life doesn’t have a solid foundation to build upon. Whereas when we appreciate, it is like a flower that just keeps opening up and getting more full in its beauty.

  18. What a lovely blog – I just came across it and discovered it was written by me over 4 years ago ha ha. It is all still true and never ending, the joy of being me keeps on expanding as does the appreciation of myself, the Benhayons who constantly inspire me and everyone else. Today I am travelling in Myanmar and I have so much appreciation of my super gorgeous tour guide and driver and they can feel that and it gives us all a lot of joy, connection and expansion.

    1. Beautiful Nicola, I have just enjoyed your blog again after not reading it for some time… your self-appreciation is absolutely infectious and it is no surprise your tour guide is enjoying him or her-self. It cracks people open, we are so used to being met with indifference, critique, grumpiness or at best reserved friendliness.

  19. Nicola, it is indeed a very powerful moment when we have the awareness to make a choice on how we will react or respond to a situation. It is like we can be puppets in life, and to have the ability even momentarily, to step back and see this for what it is, allows us the space to understand what is happening and sometimes the why it is happening too – and hence the freedom to handle the situation differently. Thank you for this reminder that I don’t need to blow a fuse when the computer plays up, that I can have a breather and enjoy my day none the less!

  20. In a split second for any given scenario we can choose to react emotionally or, choose to appreciate that there is something here to either learn and understand or just plain appreciate.

  21. Great reflection Nicola. It’s not often something you would consider in these instances but appreciating yourself is perhaps the most powerful response to difficult situations than could be imagined. It supports in so many ways including not going into reaction and allowing greater space for observation

    1. Thank you Joshua – I just had something very difficult happen today and was a bit upset and then got emailed your comment which was exactly what I needed to read!

  22. I know I react to things so easily and this gets in the way of the flow of the day. For me, my practice is to keep feeling and attempt to not get caught in the reactions themselves, and keep developing the understanding towards myself and those around me. In my reactions I skip the step of feeling what is needed, and hence the situation can get out of hand and I waste so much time and energy in what follows.

  23. Isn’t is crazy that we have to relearn to be ourselves. It shows how valuable and important it is to let our children unfold rather than indoctrinate them with all that we think is good for them.

  24. Self-appreciation allows us to connect to the magnificence within and understand the key part we play in the divine plan of our return to soul, we don’t see issues as complications but always as opportunities to be more.

    1. Beautifully expressed Francisco. I notice currently almost everything in life is not set up to support us to connect to our soul and teach us self-appreciation. But the great thing is no matter what is happening around us, we always have the choice to not react and to stay connected to our soul. Our soul is always calling us to reconnect and patiently waiting for us to say yes to this connection.

  25. I was on my computer filling out an online application and I felt my body tense up because one part of the process was not working. I thought of this blog and I thought of what you shared Nicola and decided to not react. The tension in my body dissipated as I connected to my movements and my awareness. Appreciating myself more and more feels very supportive and joyful.

  26. Yesterday, a journey that can take three and a quarter hours, although four to four and a half in the middle of the day is usual, took six and a quarter. There was torrential rain in parts and several breakdowns and accidents. It meant I was late for an appointment and could not do the work I had intended, I had a headache and an aching right foot with cramping later that night. On top of that I had woken the morning of the intended journey with the thought that It would be better to go the next day, that everything would work out well if I did. This was followed by a doubt and a memory of my plan and ‘all I had to do’, I let myself feel the pressure and drive of creation and I succumbed to it. Previously I would berate myself for my choices at least somewhere a long the line but the acceptance of everything this time around is amazing. Reading this blog lets me see how acknowledging this acceptance and appreciating it is confirming to me how amazing I am and what inner settlement and stillness there is in my body and what a difference this makes even when I have over-ridden my inner knowing in the first place.

  27. I have proven there is nothing better than being me. Thanks to the Benhayon’s also and Universal Medicine that was the first thing I clocked – I am a Son of God and I had a separated human spirit that was a lesser state of being causing dis-harmony. This explained the mess I was in and why I was the way I was in and out of a state of depression. This mental illness shifted immediately once I knew the real me.

  28. This is a beautiful example of how life works. When something does not work we have the option of keep trying under the slogan of ‘I shall prevail’ or ‘I will beat you’ or to try again coming from a different place in the understanding that this is showing something to you and your movements. It is not about ‘it’. It is about you.

  29. “I realised that I felt so lovely in myself that I was not interested in reacting, because that would take me away from me” – this is a great line, Nicola. Many of us live our life in reaction. We think it is our right to be emotional and reactive because there’s always something/someone out there who makes us feel that way. What I get from your sharing is that by appreciating ourselves we get to feel more of our true essence and our want to be ourselves gets stronger, and we leave less and less space for emotion or reaction to enter.

    1. Yes great point Fumiyo. The more we are full of love (which contains zero emotions) the less space there is for anything that is not of that quality 🙂

  30. So beautiful to appreciate ourselves such that the stimulation of emotions no longer have any attraction, but are understood as disturbances to our natural harmonious way of living.

  31. Our greatest moments lived, are those lived in connection to our Soul, to who we are. Very beautiful to feel the appreciation of your loving choices Nicola and that we get more and more of who you are. A blessing for us all.

  32. It is very telling when a line like “Appreciating myself is something quite new for me” is so relatable. I know that teaching myself to take stock instead of just running past things, is a work in progress. Thanks for sharing your moment of appreciation with us, it supports me to take note of when I do similar things.

    1. Thanks Sarah, I wrote that over 4 years ago and appreciating myself and others has become very normal for me now. In fact now it is so normal it is really weird to observe how often our previous normal becomes so un-normal once we have a new normal. I know you and how super awesome you are so I can’t imagine there could be many moments when there wouldn’t be an opportunity for you to appreciate yourself 😉

  33. A simple but powerful example of what it means to truly heal Nicola. Your self-appreciation is clearly felt, as is the appreciation you so clearly have for all around you. In a world where self-critique and self-condemnation is the norm for most women, you offer a delightfully refreshing way for women.

  34. The amount of enjoyment we have in life comes simply from the level of love we have for ourselves. While the outside world can stimulate and excite us, it can never make up for a true and loving connection within. This is the only thing that sustains, the stimulation is just momentary.

  35. I have found patience to be a great thing, and when things try our patience it is only interference that is getting in the way, and the best thing to do is to observe it and not to react to it.

  36. ‘I realised that I felt so lovely in myself that I was not interested in reacting, because that would take me away from me.’ Although I react so much less than I used to there are situations that I am still finding very challenging and ‘try my patience’ I love this statement and feel that it will inspire me in those times. I have written it out to put in my folder so that when I open my papers it is there supporting me. Thank you Nicola.

    1. Thank you Elaine. I am often blown away by the power of love versus the ineffectual nature of force. For example many years ago I used to try to not eat things that would make me fat and I was stuck on that yo-yo dieting nightmare. When the day came that I started making loving choices about what to eat so as to support myself, the weight just fell off. Trying not to react usually makes me react even more but choosing to stay connected to my gorgeousness rather than enjoining in some other emotion is rather yummy and on the occasions that I do react I don’t take it seriously or stay in that.

  37. A beautiful reflection of life. When a situation does not work out, we are offered the possibility to do it again and it is up to us how we walk into it and how we do it makes a tremendous difference. If we walk in reaction most probably it will not work again, but if we do it in appreciation the outcomes and the process is going to be different.

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