by Helen Simkins, Alstonville, Australia
On reading the article Esoteric Yoga: Truth in Stillness, I felt inspired to reflect on my own experiences with this amazing modality.
I have been participating in Esoteric Yoga group sessions since 2008 and what a journey this has been… I will never forget my first session.
I was attending a Universal Medicine retreat with around 100 others when I was introduced to Esoteric Yoga and to the fact that truly yoga is about union.
I held the belief that yoga was a sort of ‘cool’ and ‘spiritual’ exercise modality or practise which I had on past occasions attempted to take up – without success. I always thought that I was somehow lacking in the spirituality (and flexibility) required for devoting myself to yoga…
So I lay on my mat, ready for the yoga session to begin – and I waited, and waited and waited…
When would we start? Did I miss something? What was taking so long?
I lay there expectantly with my mind going in circles and my body wanting to fidget – and NOTHING happening. It was an uncomfortable and somewhat frustrating experience and seemed to go on forever. Eventually the hour was over – and after some exposing discussion I was left with the realisation that instead of choosing to connect to myself and to my body, instead of experiencing any kind of union during that time, I had spent the session waiting for someone to tell me what to do, for something to deliver the yoga experience to me….. what an eye opener!
There were further Esoteric Yoga sessions during the 5 day retreat and that introductory session had shown me something not to be forgotten – so each session I embraced the opportunity to recognise that this was about me being with me, first and foremost – as challenging as this would prove to be with so little distraction available!
The sessions were not all delivered like that first one. They included occasional suggestions about connecting to and feeling various parts of our bodies: to begin with it seemed impossible to get my head around what focussing on feeling from a part of my body even meant! There were even some gentle movements – thank goodness – I had no idea that actually being present and lying still in my own body could seem so PAINFUL.
I was learning something already through this introduction to Esoteric Yoga: exposing to myself how I had come to place so much importance on my mind and so little on listening to what was going on in my body. So much was being revealed to me about the way I had allowed my mind to drive my body through life… and boy was it uncomfortable!
But there was something really special happening too: after each session I felt more deeply relaxed, calm and solidly connected to my whole being than I could remember. I was really enjoying this feeling. By the end of the 5 days my love for Esoteric Yoga and its powerful simplicity was born.
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Esoteric Yoga helps us restore our connection to our Body from a point of godliness and ancient knowing. It is by our movements that we develop deeper forms of love, hence as we live in this body we need to make it a temple available for everyday more and more love.
Esoteric Yoga certainly offers us the opportunity to stop and feel what quality it is that we are connecting to and being moved by through our day. It is amazing to feel that it is very possible to move and live with greater connection to our body, being and the exquisiteness of our stillness within.
By-and-large yoga is meant to be an activity that takes a specific shape based on us executing movements we have to listen to do. Yet, in esoteric yoga we learn that movements only prepare us to feel our own stillness and body.
We can become experts at covering up and denying what we are feeling through endless behaviours and activities. Esoteric Yoga asks us to drop the guard, stop pretending and actually feel what is within us.
During Esoteric Yoga, my body always shows me where I am at. There was one session that my mind kept coming in to distract, while the one before, my body so easily surrendered that afterwards I felt this profound stillness that stayed with me for some time.
Feeling rather exposed here – it is so true that I wait and wait for an instruction, to be told what to do, how to do things – because I want to get it right. And while that ‘waiting’ is happening, I am not even here, I have left ourselves, preoccupied with thoughts.
I have a 6 week block of Esoteric Yoga at the moment and finding each one being different to the last. For example in showing me where I am at in connection with my body, so much awareness, and after each session I am always more connected with my being which has a profound impact for the rest of my day in regards to how I move, eat, talk, the thoughts I have – everything.
Likewise, my experience of Esoteric Yoga has been that I can find it frustrating that there is not more happening (my own lack of stillness), or fall asleep (my own exhaustion), or not really listen to the instructions (my being a bit checked out). All very revealing of how I am living. But the after effect is always the same, a deeper stillness inside that I treasure as it reintroduces me to my quality.
I so remember feeling similar to you when I first experienced Esoteric Yoga! When was something going to happen? Many years on I just love it and it is something I can take – this stillness – out into my everyday. “after each session I felt more deeply relaxed, calm and solidly connected to my whole being than I could remember. ” So true.
I chuckled as I read about your first Esoteric Yoga session as you could have been writing about mine; I have a feeling it was at the same retreat. I couldn’t figure out what was going on, why we weren’t moving much and why, when I did, my body hurt so much? But in spite of all these seemingly negative thoughts I was intrigued and so I continued to join in the sessions and like you by the end of the retreat I was hooked and my body was celebrating the fact that finally I was beginning to take notice of it.
Talk about mind over matter! Or at least the illusion of mind over matter. The only reason that we can do things absent of what the body truly feels and asks for, is by constantly overriding it with our heads. An imprisoning way of life that is naught of true joy and vitality.
There is something incredible that happens to me when I am deeply connected to my body, and equally I really struggle when I lose that connection… the quality goes downhill, I struggle to connect to people, and the way I work loses its flow. Yet the connection is not difficult to re-establish. My body is not going anywhere! And it takes a just a few moments or minutes and then I’m back.
It definitely is a re-learning to bring focus and attention to parts of our body. I have walked around for most of this life simply ignoring that there was any physicality below my neck. Dragging my body around without any real respect or acknowledgement of it. Esoteric Yoga really helps to bring our head inline with our bodies. After all, it’s all part of the same thing….why do we seperate the two so often.
I had forgotten about how Yoga is seen as very “spiritual” or that it can help you to become that. Yoga in its true meaning is just union, union with our body and our divine essence or soul. This is something most babies and kids naturally do, they live in connection with their essence and body which shows how true yoga is very unspiritual, in fact it’s equally available for everybody and is truly soulful. Union or connection is something that is natural to us which we have moved away from.
The impulse to do a program of Esoteric Yoga came recently when I attended ‘Life is Medicine’ workshop, when a practitioner spent half an hour presenting to 50 participants. Listening to her voice as she connected with us all, yet it was like she knew which part of my body was holding onto tension and she was speaking directly to me.
Some of the tensions were subtle none the less they were there and no doubt have been there for a long time, but to have that awareness bought back is huge on its own – I love that awareness being bought out into the open and where the two meet, awareness and body = connection
Esoteric Yoga is not what I grew up around. I wish it had been around many years ago, it would have assisted me to connect with my body during the times I was working out at the gym and not being present.
I am now feeling the impulse to go on a program to connect deeper with myself and every session is so much different and learning more ‘that yoga is about union’.
I had a little giggle reading your first experience Helen because I can remember that feeling of restlessness and waiting to be told how to be with my body. I would lie there with pain presenting in different parts of my body and the anxiety that I lived in 24/7 magnified that I wanted to jump up and run screaming from the building! Oh gee I’ve come a long way from then! Esoteric Yoga to me now is a gift straight from heaven… an invitation to be at one with my body and let go of anything that is not me and not love.
How beautiful true yoga is being discussed – offering yourself a body movement that is in aligment with your Soul. And because there is only one Soul – we are one, hence it brings us back to Union. So a beautiful reflection of what Esoteric Yoga brings.
I can totally relate Helen. I spent the first couple of esoteric yoga rolling my eyes internally at the word ‘stillness’ – to me at that time, it sounded boring, dull and disconnected to life. What an amazing journey it’s been to discover that stillness is huge, expansive and spacious and connects me to me and from there, everything and everyone else. That it’s a feeling I can actual feel and connect to within my own body has been most surprising and unexpected – a very cool discovery.
Esoteric Yoga offers the opportunity and possibility to feel the beauty of your inner stillness.
Haha, this is a classic article as I could see the experience of what was being said. I laugh respectfully as I can relate to what is being said. We can be so use to being told things, that when it’s not there, in the same quality, it is almost like we are missing out on something and yet when we reflect on it, we realise the entire thing is in reverse. Esoteric Yoga gives you no outcome to achieve and creates a solid space for you to feel what is already there. It doesn’t take you somewhere or promise to deliver you something but allows you the space to feel everything that is truly going on. It can be confronting and equally very freeing to see.
I can so relate to your first session; I remember saying I never want to do that again. I was so uncomfortable; my mind would not stop talking. I did end up attending more sessions after that initial one and every time my mind became less noisy and I could start to hold the stillness in my body for longer periods of time. The stillness that I now feel during a session is a solid marker that I come back to when my mind starts to make too much noise and starts to run the show. It’s an incredible modality that once surrendered to shows us that we are far more than the mind wants us to believe.
The great thing about Esoteric Yoga for me was feeling how challenging it was for me to still my mind and body at first, and now I absolutely love this feeling and how the stillness can support me throughout my day.
When the mind is with the body, in its grace and stillness, it is very exposing of the minds usual irritability and want to control life.
Yoga is perhaps the modality that has more images attached to it. Yoga can be used for various ends. Esoteric Yoga does not feed the image feeder. What it offers is invaluable though.
The opportunity to connect and be still with our body in union with our Soul and God, and then to feel where we are living in this relationship is an experience that everyone should have. It can be a very exposing experience but also one that is about connecting and either way, I have found it most valuable in deepening my relationship with my body. Thank you Helen, as you have shared Esoteric Yoga has been a great learning curve and I am so appreciative of the fact I persevered with deepening my relationship with Esoteric Yoga.
Thanks Helen! It’s interesting to note the vast difference between the mind and the body and what they bring you in the truth that they are. The body has a pain threshold that we tend to avoid and in the mind you can escape from that. The thing is though the longer we choose the mind the more pain there is to feel connecting back to the body because of the long separation that has been however, once we break through that pain level there is a beautiful still feeling on the other side – thanks to Esoteric Yoga.
It really is amazing to feel just how naturally at ease we are when our bodies and being are in union, delivering us much more tangible and enriching sense of who we are, and how this connection to our fullness, our realness is available to live throughout our day.
We are so willing to wait for someone else to tell us what to do, or how to be or how to ‘fix’ this or that, so when we are offered something that supports our connection and to feel everything in our body… it can be very exposing and confronting. I remember my first time being painful, and I slept through most of it. From this first time I have done many Esoteric Yoga programs and felt and connected to so much more of who I am in my body.
“I held the belief that yoga was a sort of ‘cool’ and ‘spiritual’ exercise ..” This is very true for so many people, and there are now so many different types of yogas. Esoteric Yoga though offers nothing outwardly to impress, it’s in fact a very humble modality, which is to me why it’s so powerful. It’s so stripped back, nothing to do but everything to be. It also requires an incredible level of honesty with the self, offering no distractions or things to achieve or strive towards, just simply being with you and all that is there to feel.
A modality or yoga that actual offers a reflection for your relationship with yourself is a rare commodity. In a world that is all about improving, impressing, strengthening, entertaining when it comes to yoga and exercise classes, this esoteric yoga really does stand out in the crowd. The fact that so many of us struggle just to be with ourselves for a moment is extremely telling and could be key to unlocking a lot of ills in the body.
I love that when we think we are not doing much and there’s not much happening so much is actually happening, and being still is like using a magnifying glass – we are given an opportunity to come closer to the details and we realise how spaciousness it really is.
I also experienced struggles in first coming to the modality of Esoteric Yoga Helen – struggles, if not ‘torturous’ moments of directly experiencing just how removed from my body, and a steadiness (let alone stillness) within I had been living in.
Hence your words resonate strongly: “…exposing to myself how I had come to place so much importance on my mind and so little on listening to what was going on in my body.”
The modality continues to offer ever-more awareness in relationship with my body, and indeed all the facets of my being that drive it – yet the experience is today of the knowing of stillness within, yes with some revealing moments, but no ‘torture’ in sight. Has it been worth it – have I been worth it – OMG yes!
Esoteric Yoga has definitely helped me reconnect with my body and offers an opportunity for stillness within, giving me space to truly feel how my body is, and how it needs to be supported.
I love the yoga sessions at the retreat. I found them to be very rejuvenating and gave me a marker for a quality that I could be during the day.
Hi Helen, we all have a way where we expect everything to be more complicated than it need be – Esoteric Yoga has support me to understand that keeping things simple is a way that feel true in my body – it is an amazing modality and very exposing of the spirits fidgeting ways.
Having a head full of expectations seems to be a normal thing in life. How attached we become to them – we carry them around like pictures in our heads and feel quite uncomfortable when they are challenged. What do we miss out on in life by holding onto these images, rather than being with what actually is?
So true Helen, when we place too much importance on what is going on in our head it makes our minds ‘full’ and we ‘forget’ to listen to our body. It’s quite ironic really.
Esoteric Yoga is an amazing modality – literally, heaven sent. From an initial resistance – as I’ve a tendency to do rather than be – I now love and value what it offers. Such a simple practical tool for living.
This hilarious account Helen is bitter sweetly felt as I can so relate to these initial feelings. This unique modality holds so much more than we can often first perceive because it is so simple. It’s like learning a new language. Doesn’t matter how simple the language is, if you are not familiar with it, it’s going to take some application and determination, but the pay-offs are life changing.
I had done quite a bit of posture yoga and enjoyed moving and stretching my body, but I had not done any yoga that was quite like Esoteric Yoga. Initially I found it also quite confronting mostly with what I was feeling in my body. I couldn’t use the postures to avoid feeling how uncomfortable I felt in my body. It was all just there for me to feel. What I eventually realised, after quite a few sessions was that all that was reflecting were my choices in how I was living everyday. I take the opportunity now to regularly attend programs for they really assist me in developing stillness, not just in those sessions, but in how I am as I move through my day. There is nothing quite like Esoteric Yoga.
I was always quite intimidated by yoga as I was overweight and not very flexible so worried about going to classes as I would never fit the mould. Now that makes me laugh as I read your blog, those pictures are so far away from the truth of what yoga brings – its not about a headstand or some other uncomfortable pose – it is about connecting back to you and your body and this is equal for everyone. You don’t need to be able to wrap your legs around your head to do this.
‘I had spent the session waiting for someone to tell me what to do, for something to deliver the yoga experience to me’ what you share Helen here, is so revealing and in fact very known to me, how I’ve often waited for the outside to tell me, or confirm me and avoided feeling me and connecting to me. This is something I’m now exploring in a new way and Esoteric Yoga has been a huge support with this, it’s shown me so much and I can now be with me and my body in a very new way, there is a steadiness in me which I had not felt before and a willingness to surrender to my body and the wisdom it continually shows me. I am more myself simply.
With the practice of Esoteric Yoga we get to feel the momentum we have been living, nothing is left behind as the more we break away from the raciness of life and embrace the stillness within the more we know God within us.
I’ve just started a new Esoteric Yoga program for women and it feels completely different than ever before. It is not that the session and its simple format has changed but what has changed is me and the way I choose union with me and my body. Esoteric Yoga is super simple but amazingly powerful, never a dull moment in any session I can assure you.
I had to laugh when I read this Helen as I too recall my first time at Esoteric Yoga and wondering why it was so silent and nothing much was going on. It was interesting to feel how uncomfortable I was with connecting with myself in this way and how I avoided this by going into my head often. It took me a little time to embrace the deep quality being offered in the Esoteric Yoga but when I did the feeling in my body was so exquisite and still I could feel how truly healing this modality is for everyone.
Helen your experiences show the difference between the yoga that is currently very much in fashion, and Esoteric Yoga and it’s powerful simplicity of being in connection and union with ourselves. Before Esoteric Yoga I did not really have a relationship with my body as I had such a racy mind and was so driven by thinking. I am now much more connected to both my being and body and this has had a very positive impact on the daily choices I make, resulting in better health and general wellbeing. This is simply because I’m now connected to my body and how I feel, anxious, nervous or exhausted for example, and can then address these things. Before Esoteric Yoga it was surprising how little I could feel going on in my body.
” I had no idea that actually being present and lying still in my own body could seem so PAINFUL.” I had a similar experience with my first Esoteric Yoga session, I used to be so much in my mind and could not feel my body, that when it came to this session, I was so exhausted and my body showed me loud and clear. I would fall asleep during the yoga session as my body was so tired. It reflected to me how I had been abusing my body and how tired I had become.
I am the first week of a 6 week Esoteric Yoga and what has been exposed to me is that when I perceive myself to be under the pump or in a challenging situation I default to my mind and pump adrenaline to get me where my mind tells me to go. My body has certainly given me very loud feedback that this is a very unhealthy behaviour – it was like physiologically my body was running a marathon even when in physical rest – hence restless sleep.
It’s quite remarkable how PAINFUL doing nothing can be! Our lives are full of distractions from ourselves, from our bodies and from the stillness that is within. So when we do finally stop and feel, the feelings are really intense, and that’s without moving at all (of course with breathing). It really is a profound and very healing modality.
I had a very similar experience with my first Esoteric Yoga session. I was climbing the walls in agitation. I wondered what was happening, when we were going to get started…when could I start stretching? It took quite a while for me to get used to being still, laying there with my body. I had never ever taken the time to do that before and it was enormously uncomfortable. But, over time, my relationship with my body has developed to the point where I can now go about my day without the need for music. I can drive in silence, I can work in silence. The silence thing is just one example, and a huge step. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of times where just being with my body is way too uncomfortable so I distract myself with all sorts of things – mainly food, but the awareness is there and I have a choice to connect or not in every moment.
“I had spent the session waiting for someone to tell me what to do, for something to deliver the yoga experience to me….. what an eye opener!” And this is how most of us ‘unwittingly’ choose to live our lives.
Wow! What a way to start our day. For me the Yoga of Stillness or Esoteric Yoga as presented by Serge Benhayon is a true eye opener, and sometimes that is all I have done!
This reminds me of my first experience with Esoteric Yoga in that I absolutely hated it. But what I have come to learn over time is that Esoteric Yoga is about union with my body, by actually choosing to be in my house (present in my body) rather than living up in the attic closed away in my mind or even colder, sitting on the roof. Coming back to my body at first was horrible because I had to face what I had allowed to occur in my absence – the abuse and disregard I had for my body to just follow all the ideals and thoughts running through my mind. And even today I find it challenging at times to come to terms with what I have and continue to allow to be in my body in terms of emotions and tensions etc. But the more I connect to the body the more I understand my choices and get a sense that in this connection any past choice can be rectified and healed.
We are so primed to have something delivered to us, served up on a plate with even some razzmatazz thrown in and then when we’re asked to just sit and be with it, it can throw us completely. I know this experience you speak of Helen as my own, waiting for something to happen, something to indicate what I am to do, and yet Esoteric Yoga does none of that, it offers us the space to feel us and our bodies and to know there is a deep well of stillness in us, ready and waiting to be connected to, to be expressed, and I know when I live and move from there everything is very different.
That’s a great comment Monica about waiting to have everything delivered to us. I have to wonder what the next generations will be like when they reach adulthood, because now they spend so much time as babies and children on screens, phones, tablets, computers, etc, and do not have the period of childhood to simply play and be with themselves and their bodies in the natural union they are born to.
‘…Esoteric Yoga and its powerful simplicity…’ Esoteric Yoga exposes to us how complex we make it, how our mind completely takes over and our body is somewhere else or on autopilot. In its simplicity I can feel the love and solid foundation for the body and how we can take this with us in our everyday movements, feeling the body from within, connected to our stillness and feeling the true quality in our way of living.
Great to re-read your blog Helen. “So much was being revealed to me about the way I had allowed my mind to drive my body through life… and boy was it uncomfortable! But there was something really special happening too: after each session I felt more deeply relaxed, calm and solidly connected to my whole being than I could remember.” I could so relate to this feeling initially Helen, but now embrace Esoteric Yoga at every opportunity. An exquisite opportunity to reconnect body, mind and soul in union.
Your blog made me smile remembering lying waiting for someone to tell me what to do and feeling cheated in the silence. An amazing exposure of needing to follow directions and distract myself with words rather than just feel what was there to be felt within.
I smiled as I read this blog Helen as I was at the first class also! I now cherish the opportunity to simply be with myself at ever deepening levels. The practice is strengthening my ability to just be with what is without judgement, and thus deepening my self-acceptance and self-appreciation.
I remember my first few yoga sessions and wondering what was going on, why we weren’t ‘doing’ anything. It was obvious I spent most of my life avoiding being present with myself or connecting to any stillness as it felt so uncomfortable. Thankfully now I have embraced Esoteric Yoga and love this modality and all it offers the body.
‘So much was being revealed to me about the way I had allowed my mind to drive my body through life… and boy was it uncomfortable!’ I absolutely love the honesty that you express here Helen regarding how confronting and exposing it is to feel how the constant over stimulation of our mind results in us not only disconnecting from the clarity our whole body graces us with but also as a consequence we are unable to feel the strength of our stillness that fuels the power of our presence.
Your blog made me laugh – I remember having the same thoughts when I first started Esoteric Yoga – when is it going to start? Or… have I missed something and everyone’s left. But slowly I learnt to massively, deeply and hugely appreciate this modality, and the quality it offers to my body and my life.
My first participation in an Esoteric Yoga session I was expecting to be shown some contortions of the body but what was revealed was the contortions of my mind to prevent me from connecting to my body. Gradually I have learned to move in a much more gentle way and my body instantly lets me know when my mind is sneaking its way back into the driving seat.
Thank you Helen for sharing your experience of yoga, I too came to feel how dis connected from my body I had been living with my mind running the show. Through this practise I am coming to feel more deeply a loving connection with my body and a deeper appreciation for the wisdom it holds for me.
Awesome sharing Helen – the part about you laying on the mat waiting for someone to tell you what to do and wondering if you had missed something made me giggle. I had the same experience. Of course the thing we’re missing is the connection to ourselves which is what this modality so beautifully exposes.
I used to always fall asleep in Esoteric Yoga it was like I was blocking feeling the deeper stillness and connection with myself. I no longer fall asleep during Esoteric Yoga and get to feel such an exquisite stillness that supports me throughout the day.
Wow, yes… what a revelation. When we are always on the go and have a stimulus on board it is pain, to the literal sense, to stay still and present in the body. We feel we need to fidget, move and think. This is very uncomfortable however hugely healing and exposing at the same time.
Suzanne you have beautifully captured the importance of how Esoteric Yoga values the solidness of our body in connection with the quality of our whole being over the whirlwind of the mind. Well said.
I have to be honest. At my first retreat where I first practiced Esoteric Yoga I spent most of the sessions sound asleep in my chair. My body was just so exhausted…. I remember distinctly turning to my friend next to me at the beginning of more than one session saying nighty night in the full knowing that my slumber would eventuate soon enough.
Helen your blog made me laugh as I read it. It is me all over when it comes to Esoteric Yoga, I’ll do anything to avoid it. I am however looking forward to the next retreat after reading your blog so I can feel what everyone is raving about, connection to the body.
Esoteric Yoga is a simple yet powerful modality that invites the body to truly surrender and experience stillness and a deeper connection to yourself.
Oh yes the beauty of the reconnection to self once ‘the cacophony of the mind’ had been stilled.
Thank you for reminding me how deeply challenging I too found Esoteric Yoga when I started because I can really appreciate the way it has supported me to connect back with my body and recognise the choice I have made to listen to what there is to be communicated. I can remember taking sneaky peaks to see what others were doing because I was convinced that I had missed something – which I often had because I spent so much time checked out in the early days!
My first experience of esoteric yoga is very similar to yours Helen. By the 5th session I understood what was happening and this was the beginning of bringing EY and everything that comes with this package into my life as part of my way back to understanding myself and so much about my life and most importantly a deeper union with God.
Helen, I had to laugh while reading this blog. Esoteric yoga can be so exposing in such a way we do not know where to hide anymore. I can relate to how painful it can be just lying down and choosing to be with the body. My body was definitely shouting at me and yet my attention and focus was on the outside waiting for something to happen or getting (more) instructions instead of being with me. It revealed to me how insecure I felt when nobody was telling me what to do. This has changed so much over the years by practising esoteric yoga frequently and making the connection with my body my focus to be aware of during my every day living. Looking back there is much to appreciate for myself and to give credits to this awesome modality Esoteric Yoga and its founder Serge Benhayon.
Well said Helen. Esoteric Yoga has been a great support in connecting us to our bodies and feeling the Stillness, Joy and Love that lies within.
How amazing Helen that this most natural expression to be in our stillness, today in our current way of living, is so totally lost. What an amazing modality to bring us back to how we innately need to live and express.
I once did an Eso yoga course for six straight weeks and I found the clarity and healing I got from the experience absolutely amazing
Helen, I totally relate to what you are saying. How could lying still actually be so painful? This is a question I asked myself. But when we begin to drop the resistance the beauty and splendor that arises from deep within in is just gorgeous to feel and bathe in.
Thank you Helen. My first experiences of Esoteric Yoga was similar and very revealing “I had come to place so much importance on my mind and so little on listening to what was going on in my body”. I had never ventured into the realms of what I saw as the contortions of traditional yoga but Esoteric Yoga was just asking me to be still and connect to my inner-self and my mind went into contortions to keep me away from the stillness. With practice I have discovered the beauty of stillness and connecting to the love within me.
Helen I had a similar experience I was so use to a form of yoga which is movement mainly that when I first attended Esoteric Yoga and we where guided to be still and observe our body, I found it very difficult. As my mind was racing and I had lived allows constantly in motion of doing. When I actually allowed my body to let go, I would struggle to stay present or awake to truly feel the stillness in my body. What I observed as I allowed myself to connect to my body, there was such a deep exhaustion coming up, that caused me to keep snoozing off. This happen throughout most of my early session.
A great article that made me smile remembering the uncomfortableness in my body and overwhelming desire to check out or run away from truly being with myself. It is extraordinary the extent that we place importance on our mind and allow it to drive our bodies at the expense of them. The disconnection this causes is profoundly exposed when attempting to be still, making the power of Esoteric Yoga undeniable…. and when we surrender to the body and the stillness… it’s just divine.
I can relate to what you share here: “I had no idea that actually being present and lying still in my own body could seem so PAINFUL.” Being fully present with your body is quite a job in the beginning as I had been for so long only thinking about everything except what I was doing at any moment. For long I found esoteric yoga therefore hard, my love for esoteric yoga has grown with the more I feel how lovely it is to be present with my body.
Haha, I also remember my first Esoteric Yoga session thinking, when do we start? So much in a drive of achieving and aiming to get somewhere. Whereas with Esoteric Yoga I experienced that I am exactly where I need to be already.
I agree Esoteric Yoga has a powerful simplicity, so simple that it is easily dismissed in its profoundness. I find it fascinating how much can be revealed about myself and the way I go through life in one hour of stillness, connecting with my body and my being
Hi Helen, thanks for sharing your first experiences. I, too, still am surprised st the power of the mind. Often during a session I find myself wandering of with some activity that is taking place in my head. These experiences have brought deeper awareness of the huge abyss that exists between being in the mind and being present in the body. The stillness offered when present in the body supports all raciness, anxiety, agitation to drop away and what presents in the moment to be just right. Very honest blog.
Thank you for sharing your experience with Esoteric Yoga. This modality is so simple that it defies my mind getting what it’s all about. Yet the effects are profound and life-changing. I love the way the sessions are not about feeling better. They are about feeling how you have been living in a way that is not aligned to your soul and how it feels to make choices that do align you. To me, finding out you wait for others to give you permission to feel and be with you is gold and worth way more than any feel good session.
Lovely Fiona I like what you share because for me it was the same “I love the way the sessions are not about feeling better.” This was the invitation for me to stay because there was no outcome. That was revealing for me as I could feel how often I want an outcome in all parts of my live and how I can easily get lost in this. The Esoteric Yoga helped me to get an other insight to this point and helped me to be not so exhausted anymore.
I too can remember finding my first experiences of esoteric yoga to be somewhat uncomfortable and painful as I had not previously allowed myself to feel from my body either. After many sessions of esoteric yoga I have come to a true appreciation of the stillness it allows me to connect to and the way my body so beautifully exposes the truth of how I have been living. Today it is a modality that shows me the truth of my choices and the true beauty I can connect to by just feeling me.
Who would have thought there is so much stillness in the body. Stillness is a beautiful experience and not only can it be felt in Yoga sessions but we can actually live this way if we so choose.
I can relate to waiting for life to give me directions where to go, and then through Esoteric Yoga finding myself and with that an inner guide, where to go.
Totally agree with you Helen re the non-action aspect to this modality, I have been a student for 9 years, and avoided doing or really truly connecting to the complete power and grace of Esoteric Yoga – for years (!), yet now and for over a year I have stopped resisting the call towards my stillness, and in its place have found the power and grace I am. Such is Esoteric Yoga.
Yep, as with many others, I too found esoteric yoga to be very exposing of just how easily I disconnect from my own body. Lying there, just being with myself not doing anything to distract me for an hour can be extremely hard work when you’re used to letting your mind rule the roost essentially disregarding your body in the meantime. It’s definitely a good reminder that there is always more to uncover about myself.
Esoteric yoga was very exposing for me to feel how disconnected from what was really going on in my body and how much I went into my head and the first session seemed to go on and on, to just lie still was so difficult. Occasionally I still have things that come up in a session, which are there for me to look at and that is not always a comfortable experience. But at the end of each session, I feel a balance of being at one with my body and mind, a feeling of stillness within myself, and harmony with everything.
Exposing, is Esoteric Yoga for me too. It shows me how easy I can let my mind go off and check out of being with me. But as you say Deidre, slowly I get an understanding at the end of each session how it could be when I am in stillness and harmony with my body. I also experience a closer communication from my body, telling me how to be in any moment of time, in harmony with everything, and beautiful this is.
“I had no idea that actually being present and lying still in my own body could seem so PAINFUL.” I know exactly what you mean Helen! I still find it fascinating how I much my mind wonders when I all I want to do is be present. I have found the esoteric yoga sessions extraordinary in helping me to feel what is there to be felt. It is such great way of actually listening to what my body wants to communicate.
I too experienced so much pain in different areas of my body. I was actually surprised at how much pain was present and realised the pain was probably there all the time but I had never been this still or deeply connected with my body to be able to feel it.
Your blog made me smile Helen, as I had a similar experience with esoteric yoga to begin with. It really did show me so much about how I had never connected to my body in a deep and honouring way. I love practising this modality now, I find it so refreshing and healing, restoring me to a still and tender place, to feel whatever is there to be felt.
As a man especially, Esoteric Yoga at first exposed for me how uncomfortable I was with being in the presence of just my own company. It was as you have described it. However, in time, I came to appreciate the delicacy of such moments, and the wonder that actually exists in learning to appreciate and know thy true self.
Exactly Adam. This modality brings us back to feel and appreciate how delicate, precious and sacred we actually are. From there our divinity starts to shine forth and we come to feel ourselves in a way we haven’t known for such a long, long time.
What a revealing first Esoteric Yoga class. The way you describe it feels like a metaphor for waiting for others to give us permission to live. What are we waiting for?!
That is a good question Caroline – waiting for others to give us permission to live it a very good an accepted accuse . . .
Reading your blog reminded me of my first Esoteric Yoga sessions, and the pain and discomfort I felt for me to simply sit or lie down and be with my body and me. This is becoming easier and when I do connect it is a real Joy and stillness and inner silence I feel. Thank you Helen for sharing your experience.
I have had this experience “I had no idea that actually being present and lying still in my own body could seem so PAINFUL.” I have recently started an Esoteric Yoga course and I have been astonished to feel pain in my body that I had not been aware was there, not through any tricky moves but from honouring my body in stillness, with my mind subdued I could feel where my body has been holding pain, amazing!
After coming from 5+ solid years of practicing Ashtanga Yoga my first date with Esoteric Yoga was indeed very challenging, exposing yet so beautifully profound. I can relate to waiting for some sort of ‘action’ to relieve my minds raciness and my utter un-comfortableness, and yes, as you said Helen, ‘pain’. As this relief never came I eventually did surrender to the stillness that was within me, to this opportunity that was being presented to truly connect to me and feel the divinity that was there waiting. Wow, this was the Yoga I was truly searching for, one that confirms who you are as you truly feel the union of your Soul with your body and mind. Thank you Helen for sharing you experience.
How much is revealed when we allow ourselves to be still – I love Esoteric Yoga for this too Helen, true union that it is.
I really enjoyed reading your blog Helen, it took me back to my first Esoteric Yoga class, and how difficult I found it, but now I am grateful for the experience that has given me the awareness of connecting to my body.
Beautiful to return to this blog and re read it Helen Simkins. Today the part where you exposed that you were waiting and waiting to be instructed about what to do, pulled my attention. Great lesson by the way, since that shows me that we tend to live more in our thoughts than we do in our bodies otherwise you would have gone direct into your body instead of your mind while waiting. I too know Esoteric Yoga to be that powerful in reconnecting to my body by doing just very simple and gentle exercises to assist me to connect to all parts of my body. Sometimes it is a confirmation of where I am and, there are also times that I am shown that I am completely disconnected with some parts of my body, and in a way do not want to be part of me, very exposing. Thanks to Esoteric Yoga I can now recollect all parts of my body by reconnecting to them and becoming more of myself, becoming whole and in union with my body and with the ageless wisdom that is there to connect from.
Thank you for this funny blog- I had to laugh when you described your first coming in touch with esoteric yoga! Isn’t it amazing how such a simple modality, which has almost no changes in the routine, can reveal so much.
Esoteric yoga is a wonderful modality, it has shown me my body’s ability to release all the tension I hold if I am willing to simply be present with it.
It is true Prisilca, esoteric yoga really shows us how much we are in our heads and exposes how hard it is to remain present in what we are doing as we have become so accustomed to drifting away.
It blows me away how something as simple and gentle as esoteric yoga can have such a deeply relaxing effect on me – it is a far cry from the intense yoga I have done in the past.
Yes I too was at that yoga session at that retreat and you reminded me of the same experience as I had. Waiting for someone to bring the yoga experience to me and nothing happened. Thank you for your insight Helen, how our minds drive our bodies through life. without most times considering our bodies. As all the choices we make impact on the body.
Helen, yes – connecting to our body in the beginning feels weird, even painful but over time it is the nicest, completely non-addictive feeling that really helps you feel better quickly. Once you are connected to your body you can feel what is going on and simply change it if you want to do so.
Thank you Helen. Your blog had me reflecting on my first esoteric yoga session and that I just wanted to get up and ‘do something’. As you have mentioned esoteric yoga is very revealing and for me it was about how my mind was very dominant and life was all about getting things done. I have also come to love esoteric yoga for the opportunity to reconnect to my body and feel what is going on.
Esoteric Yoga sure is simple yet very powerful, I know it’s allowed me to connect to my body more strongly than anything else I have ever done. Thanks for sharing your experience Helen 🙂
Thank you Helen for your beautiful expression and wisdom in this blog
Esoteric Yoga is indeed a wonderful opportunity to deeply connect with yourself.
It also provides an opportunity for the body to expose on so many levels
So funny Helen. My very first experience with esoteric yoga was exactly the same….waiting …waiting for nothing for a really really long time. That first session was by far THE most painful thing ever. Exposing it was, on so many levels. Now I love it!
I love your blog on the Esoteric Yoga. I was at the same retreat, I remember. It took me a while too, to be able to connect and be with myself. I find it always amazing how when I first lay down on the mat, I can feel all the tight spots and where my body is holding. By the end of the Esoteric Yoga session my whole body has melted into the mat and I feel so amazingly at ease and flexible, without putting any stress on any of my joints or muscles. Esoteric Yoga is an amazing modality for anybody, young or old, fit or infirm; it’s about re-connecting to our bodies and ourselves; it’s not about stretching and pushing at all.
This amazing modality supports us to deeply connect with our bodies – and in doing so reveals all the areas where we are disconnected, in pain, stuck, in our heads – basically a reflection of how we are travelling through our days. I loved your review of the first time with the Esoteric Yoga Helen – I too had similar experiences and discovered that I was so exhausted I would just literally fall asleep. This happens still sometimes when needed but now I find the experience deeply nurturing and supportive – signposting where I need to bring extra support to my whole body and being.
I can remember my first experience of Esoteric Yoga on the Retreat in Vietnam in 2009, boy oh boy did I not want to feel the pain in my body and it was so revealing of how busy my mind was. It is great to reflect and appreciate how far I have come since then.
So true Helen Simkins, that it is painful to experience how distracted my mind is and how difficult it is to stay connected with my body all the time and not only during the Esoteric Yoga sessions! Thanks to these yoga session I am able to reconnect to my body and starting to value the exquisiteness of it. The power and knowledge that is held in my body is far beyond that what my mind is able to give me and it helps me to make true and sustainable choices in my life, that really support me in being completely my unique self in everything that I do.
“So much was being revealed to me about the way I had allowed my mind to drive my body through life…” It is powerful and simple, I had had a similar experience when I did an Esoteric Yoga course, I was shocked by how much my mind would try and take over, great to expose this and see the opportunity to reconnect to our bodies – Thank you.
Love it Helen!! My first experience of esoteric yoga was not dissimilar. I was wondering when it would really start and felt very fidgety. I now find that, when I am able to be still, esoteric yoga is deeply connecting and allows me to truly feel my body.
I had to smile reading your blog remembering my first contact with esoteric yoga. Yoga for me was linked to sport or at least physical activity. The way I join the yoga presented today, I really love to have a guided chance to truly stay connected and present with my body for one hour. When I exercise on my own I often find myself catching up thoughts. And the yoga session gives me the opportunity to have a one hour body to soul talk. It can be very exposing, letting go and healing!!
I also found Esoteric Yoga challenging in the beginning as I used to practice a very physical type of yoga everyday. I came to love Esoteric Yoga and the stillness and union I felt with my body, I never had experienced this in my years of yoga practice as the focus is on the physical body. I definitely agree Helen with the ‘powerful simplicity’ of Esoteric Yoga.
I agree Anna, I have never felt that union with my body in my previous years of yoga practice.
Esoteric Yoga is a blessing and although it brings all the resistance to be in the body fully present, it is a delight when one is consistent during the session with the choice of being in the body, and the feeling of union stays in us for as long as we can hold it or reconnect to it.
I agree Esoteric Yoga can be very challenging, uncomfortable and the most difficult hour to pass, but it has also been the best ever session I have had, with myself! The depth of connection from the body is soooo yummy, so joyful and so centered and strong that I feel blessed to have this modality in my life.
It is true Julia, an esoteric yoga session can be uncomfortable, tiring and long but the quality of sleep that follows is delicious
I have just completed a few online sessions of Esoteric yoga with Victoria and it has been a most beautiful return to knowing me at an intimate level that has always been there though usurped by the distractions of ‘life’. ESO yoga is a method that demands nothing but to slow, and realign to self in stillness. I find that in a day when I observe ESO yoga I’m a whole lot more connected to self and in turn others.
Esoteric online yoga sessions are seriously awesome and as they are presented in a program are extremely powerful. I am realising more and more that although one off sessions of anything can be great and even extremely profound, when you actually commit to a whole program its like you commit to the whole of you to it and you can shift, let go of and heal so much more.
Esoteric Yoga differs from other forms of yoga in that it invites us to deeply connect into our body without the distraction of much movement or complex positions. To feel the quality of how we are being and to feel the momentum of how we live in our body can be quite challenging but the end result of this time of being with yourself is a ‘dropping’ into the body that feels so lovely and deeply connecting that I keep wanting to come back to it.
I’ve loved Eso Yog since day dot, when I tried it over two years ago. I’d like to be able to make every day life a continual Eso Yoga session; one day, my presence will flow into everything I do to such a point that I do. Until then, I’ll continue to enjoy the classes and self conducted sessions at home. Thanks Helen.
The way you describe this made me smile Helen, and reflect back on my first sessions too – how uncomfortable it was for me to be still. Interesting that we find ourselves feeling this way when ‘just being’ is surely such a natural and simple thing to do. Doesn’t this say something about the way we have been living?
Esoteric Yoga meets you where you are. And doesn’t ask anything else of you.
Well said Felix – and meeting you where you are is all about union, about uniting and accepting all the different parts of our bodies and our daily lives and valuing them all equally.
Thank you Helen for re-igniting the powerful simplicity of what Esoteric Yoga brings. I knew it was about learning to feel the body again but it never dawned on me that it I was re-learning how to simply ‘be’ with me, thus I find ‘distraction’ so easily ‘to do’ because I am always finding away to escape being with me. You would have to ask, why choose to run away from your-self? Could it be that we want to escape the reflection of our own lack of self-love?
I have experienced Esoteric Yoga for many years and initially found it very challenging simply because I did not like being still and not moving constantly was alien to me in my multi-task busy busy doing world. I also found that my mind kept wandering or suddenly I wanted to fall asleep because I was actually exhausted.
It has taken a long time to ACCEPT that I do not need to be thinking about anything and the only focus is to stay in my body and connect to my breathing.
This modality is a great way to practice and learn how to be truly still and I can honestly say I am well on my way. Thank you for sharing Helen.
True Helen, yoga is very very exposing. Your article made me laugh when I read “I had no idea that actually being present and lying still in my own body could seem so PAINFUL.” Associating pain with stillness is somehow awkward but very true. The first time I did esoteric yoga, what really was amazing was the ping pong match with my spirit, the coming and going from feeling my body. Becoming conscious of what really happens inside me was a big ouch.
Yes I agree Helen, Esoteric Yoga can be challenging especially for a busy-body and busy mind! I was so busy that for years I avoided the stillness that this yoga offers. The connection to my innate stillness that this yoga offers, has been a complete blessing in connecting to the power that lies within.
Helen your article brought a smile to my face as I recalled my early Esoteric Yoga sessions. I too was confronted by my very busy mind initially … and always amazed at how refreshed and deeply with myself I felt at the end, despite the moments of mental rambling. It is a truly nourishing modality, and unlike any yoga I have previously experienced.