Esoteric Yoga: Union with Me and God… at last

By Fiona McGovern, Isle of Arran, Scotland

LOOKING FOR UNION

I am often asked if I do yoga and my answer has been, “yes I do, but no, not in the way I used to practise and teach it”.

Yoga claims to be uncompetitive, and a way to find union.

I practised yoga for over 30 years and taught it for 20 years: I worked with some of the leading teachers from around the world and read widely on the subject.

Yes, yoga does mean union, but I never found an explanation of what that union was… just something wishy-washy, like connecting to your ‘higher self’ – and that was left to your own interpretation. It always felt like an unattainable state. It was like a carrot in front of me that kept me hooked; forever enticing me to get to an elusive destination outside of me and far away – always requiring more study, another posture and more courses – which I dutifully did.

I felt like I was trying to find union and connection in the many postures, sanskrit words, complex philosophical discussions and relaxation and meditation techniques – but I couldn’t find it in any of these things. I felt I was actually going further away from the truth and far from the union spoken of.

I kept going because there was a sense of self worth and identity attached to practising and teaching yoga in this way. It was something I could hide in; I had a false confidence and security. When I taught, I always felt I was someone else – the words I used were not mine.

LOOKING FOR TRUTH

I felt I was not living any kind of union with myself or God… in fact, I found saying his name impossible. My body was tight and ached for a rest.

However, in 2006 I went to a talk by Serge Benhayon and I felt for the first time a deep knowing that there was indeed another way which felt more true. A way that I felt I already knew, and one which would support me to be me, and get me out of the mess I knew I was in physically, mentally and emotionally.

ESOTERIC YOGA

A few years later, I had my first one to one esoteric yoga session. I could feel how deeply the presenter was connected to their body, and how steady they felt. There was a depth and simplicity that resounded somewhere deep within me – a beauty of simply being there with no need to try and nothing to reach or gain.

I tasted a union with my own body and felt a quality of stillness within me. This feeling came from being with my body, and so I realised I could feel this any time that I choose to be with me. It is available in every moment. This kind of union is something very practical, and something I could live every day.

Previously, if I wanted to override any uncomfortable feeling, I could always do a pose or a breathing technique to make it go away. I realise now that I was storing my feelings up, burying them deeper in my body, and choosing to ignore what my body was showing me. I was in fact dis-connecting from my body.

But now, in Esoteric Yoga, I can feel grace and the healing of truly listening to my body.

TRUE UNION… AT LAST

In these sessions, and now on my own, I can feel the union of me – being present with my body and allowing it to be – without trying to get anywhere. When I am present and accepting in this way, I can feel what union truly is; it is a relationship with me. And in this, I can feel my connection to God.

I find it is immensely practical as I can have mini sessions wherever I am – maybe in a waiting room or while travelling. My body feels free again, my breath tender and my expression can be felt and heard in the world.

In these sessions I have met me and I have felt the wonder of what lays within the inner heart. It feels like I have re-opened a window long closed and allowed streams of light to pour out from it. Union through yoga – Simply Divine!

301 thoughts on “Esoteric Yoga: Union with Me and God… at last

  1. I feel you explain it quite spot on when you describe how you went to do some posture when you felt something arise in you that felt uncomfortable, and maybe that is the main focus of many modalities, not just yoga, that they do not aim necessarily to get to the core issue of the problem, but the aim is to take away the uncomfortable feeling that arises. I agree that sometimes what comes up can be super uncomfortable but logically that must be what is coming up to be healed, not for it to be pushed back down again or ignored in any way.

  2. I really got this morning what Fiona is sharing about the importance of being present in our body and accepting how our body is feeling. For when we are settled in our body we are in union with ourselves and all that is around us, and in this state we know of our connection with God.

  3. You have shared so beautifully the power of Esoteric Yoga with what it offers us to connect to.
    ‘I can feel what union truly is; it is a relationship with me. And in this, I can feel my connection to God.’- this says is all for me and is also my tangible first-hand experience Esoteric Yoga through which I discovered within resides an innate quality that is who we are and what it is to feel our relationship with God that which is ever-present through our connection to our body, being and breath. What’s more inspiring is that this connection can be naturally lived and continued to be deepened.

  4. Having studied and practiced yoga for many years as well, I had very similar experiences. I was always longing to feel a deeper connection to myself and others but I got caught up in the postures and perfecting them, so much that I became very competitive and was recognised for my practice by the teachers. It took a while to undo this illusion I had bought into to, although it became crystal clear that this modality was harming my body and not about truth or love in anyway. The Esoteric Yoga is a powerful modality, it has supported me to experience a deep silliness in my body, a quality that can be carried throughout the day and not just left on the yoga mat.

  5. That feeling of having no need to go anywhere or achieve anything is so expansive, it always leaves me laughing because the simplicity of what is is just so tangible and every counter I have used to keep myself confined in the realm of images just crumbles in its presence.

  6. The power of Esoteric Yoga is huge and what I love most about it is that we do it ourselves, and being reminded of those opportunities for mini-sessions you note here is great … we have all the tools within us, it’s about taking the time to connect and allow the space to feel what is needed to support us to be more in union with ourselves and thus with God.

  7. Esoteric yoga is immensely beautiful and powerful. Just the simple movements have a huge effect on how I feel for days after. Feeling more connected to my body and as well more connected to my delicacy as a women and yes there is a feeling of divinity there too.

  8. ‘ Union through yoga – Simply Divine! ”
    The simplest of understandings returning to and rejoining with one’s Divinity.

  9. These days, having attended many Esoteric Yoga sessions in the last two years, I feel deeply content when I allow myself to settle and be with me. Like in a waiting room or sitting on the sofa I don’t need a conversation or my phone to distract me. Nor do I do that fidgety leg thing anymore or being restless. I can be with and enjoy me and it feels lovely.

  10. ” I felt I was not living any kind of union with myself or God… in fact, I found saying his name impossible. My body was tight and ached for a rest. ” The is quite amazing when one considers ,yoga ( from my understanding ) is union with the God that is you, reconnecting with the Godliness of self in truth.

  11. A gorgeous expose of the yoga industry and the emptiness of it. Esoteric Yoga is Yoga, the rest are simply imposters that deliver bliss, if you are lucky, or discomfort and pain instead of any true connection. Bliss being simply a checked out state offering no true good whatsoever.

  12. The energetic quality of Esoteric Yoga is divine and how I feel at the end of a session is incredible. There is nothing else like it. I find I move differently after a session because I am more connected to my body and the quality of my movements are gentle, loving and delicate.

  13. Yes, it’s quite something to consider how much we allow what is sacred and divine to be twisted and morphed to be a copy of this divine impress – but of course with nothing divine left in it. Yoga as it is practiced today – and I share this from having been a devout yogi for many years – is a significant example of this. We have made it about asanas, head-stands and hand-stands and deep breaths that stimulate and give us a sense of relief from the world around us – but in the sheer illusion that we have reconnected to our body and to ourselves.
    In this we have lost the simplicity of what yoga is – union with God. There are no fancy postures for this union to be. There is nothing to show off to another or to ourselves. It is simply us being with our bodies and bringing an honesty to where our bodies are actually at. This is what Esoteric Yoga has brought back to me from the first time I experienced it – a deep reconnection and return back to my inner most essence which I realised I can access by making the choice to feel my body and let myself drop into the honesty it offers – the bridge to me feeling how God can absolutely be accessed through me being in connection with my body.

  14. We as human beings have a tendency to bastardise words and practices like what is being presented in this blog. Esoteric Yoga has brought back the true meaning of the word Yoga into an activity and with that, we are now able to experience in a very simple way a very deep connection, the union with the body and with that, what it is connected to.

  15. For centuries I have been wanting to do yoga but the thing that kept me away was some of the shapes/poses the body had to go into in the name of fitness – I did not want to look like a pretzel. And now I realise why – ‘I felt I was not living any kind of union with myself or God’

    1. I felt the same Shushila, I also felt it was too difficult and my body didn’t enjoy the postures and poses. Now, I love Esoteric Yoga, it is so simple, easy to apply and I can practice anywhere at any time.

  16. After doing something and studying it for so long as the author did in many ways she would possibly be deemed an expert and yet after all that time she wasn’t settled really on what she was doing. It would ask the question then what was it truly they were doing for all those 30 years, it couldn’t have been what it was saying it was. To now when we see our ‘expert’ truly find her ‘yoga’ and the realisation or awareness of where she had been all those years. Some things take us to a point but don’t deliver things all the way, Esoteric Yoga delivers it all and that’s because it’s all bought back to the relationship with you. No need to put yourself in any other pose, we already are divinely designed, we just need to let go and allow it.

  17. “Previously, if I wanted to override any uncomfortable feeling, I could always do a pose or a breathing technique to make it go away. I realise now that I was storing my feelings up, burying them deeper in my body, and choosing to ignore what my body was showing me. I was in fact dis-connecting from my body.” The moment we move in disconnection with our body we are creating dis-ease within it that has to at some point come out, whether that be with a pimple, a stiff neck, skin rash, cancer or any of the myriad of illnesses and diseases we can manifest. It makes sense then to move with and from our body, to the best of our ability. Esoteric Yoga is awesome for supporting us to practice this.

  18. Esoteric Yoga does bring a depth of simplicity and quality; there is no doing, just being with oneself and feeling the immense connection to one’s surroundings through the natural stillness within our bodies.

  19. I also studied and practiced a very vigorous form of Yoga for many years and trained to be a teacher, and in all my years I never experienced anything close to the true union and deep stillness as I have with the Esoteric Yoga.

  20. “I was, in fact, dis-connecting from my body.” Does yoga disconnect you from your body? Is this the reason why people participate in yoga to further disconnect themselves from their body and numb the mind of the ‘painful’ thoughts — “Previously, if I wanted to override any uncomfortable feeling, I could always do a pose or a breathing technique to make it go away. I realise now that I was storing my feelings up, burying them deeper in my body, and choosing to ignore what my body was showing me.” Proof from a yoga participant and teacher of over 30 years that the common and strands of yoga are deeply harming. It is not until you have felt something true in your body that can you look back on something else and say that was not true. “But now, in Esoteric Yoga, I can feel grace and the healing of truly listening to my body.” and “In these sessions I have met me and I have felt the wonder of what lays within the inner heart.” I have felt the same in Esoteric Yoga.

  21. We use words without truly living them and union is one of those words, often used and as noted here rarely life, but much chased as an ideal. There is something really key shared here that if we do not allow our feelings but store them we are in fact disconnecting from our bodies, simple to understand yes, but something that we often do in life. Our bodies really are the way we can truly understand life and who we are and most of all the divineness we innately are.

  22. Union is something you can only understand from the body if you experience it and there are not many ‘yogas’ that allow you to truly feel it. Perhaps, they should drop the name yoga altogether.

  23. It’s a great point about the way we try to manage uncomfortable feelings, we generally try to make them go away and this is seen as good and how to cope with life. When I experienced my first Esoteric Yoga session I was shocked to feel the amount of emotion and emotional trauma stored in my body, but the reconnection was not just to my body it was to the whole of me (being included). I was at the time very much living from my mind and I can understand why because of the many painful experiences stored in my body I did not want to feel. Esoteric Yoga though has helped me to not only reconnect back to my body and being and learn to live from that connection, but it’s also helped to clear the painful experiences and my body feels much more clear now.

  24. Esoteric Yoga is not just something we do in a class, it is something we do every day and in every moment. We can bring awareness to how we are in our bodies, how we move, and the quality we move in. We can notice how we are feeling and allow ourselves to feel it and allow it to pass. We can feel God in our bodies as we move, and we can appreciate how our presence has an effect on others. Living life with the awareness built from Esoteric Yoga is amazing. The connection to the body is so key and can help to keep us steady even in the most tragic of situations. It enables us to observe life while staying in connection to ourselves, so there is no need to ‘lose it’ or get in a mess. It provides steadiness and solidness in daily life. This is absolutely priceless.

  25. It is amazing to feel that our true fulfilment is found through our union of our body and being, where our connection to our stillness within is what guides us to realise we already are everything we need to be. Through Esoteric Yoga I discovered that living in connection to this quality is not only possible but our natural way of being.

  26. 30 years of practicing and 20 years of teaching – that is a lot of investment, but you have let it go! Letting go of identification and attachment is so very freeing and opens up space for connecting with true essence, for me that is yoga.

  27. A stunning example of what Esoteric Yoga offers our body and being again. What I find is that in many mainstream yogas, participants have an experience while in the session of being more calm or slowing down, but then walk away in the same energy as which they arrived. This was my experience too… well I would actually leave more spaced out and not with it then when I started. Esoteric Yoga offers a true stop moment, yes you can dismiss it or reject it, but you are continually held and supported to keep connecting with your body without any judgement or needing to change anything. This is what stood out for me most, and helped to let go of an enormous amount of anxiety and perfection in my body.

  28. “In these sessions I have met me and I have felt the wonder of what lays within the inner heart” and this is the greatest healing to be able to know who we are and finally break away from that which keeps us identifying as individuals and not the true sons of God that we are.

  29. My previous experience with yoga was that it was a fight to get the body to get into the different poses. There is none of that in Esoteric Yoga, the whole focus is not on what the body can do but the union with it and thus with the all (the universe, God, the practitioner, everyone).

  30. There is a beautiful vibration to connect to, the vibration of Stillness through Esoteric Yoga. I have reconnected to this quality myself and it definitely breaks through the illusion that other yoga practices teach.
    Union is within the body where the God within us all can be felt in Stillness.
    This is a gorgeous blog to confirm the power of this amazing modality- Esoteric Yoga, thank you Fiona.

  31. Before Universal Medicine I attended a couple of yoga classes for the purpose of trying to get a better body. The Esoteric Yoga sessions are so different to this, they allow you to go much deeper within and to connect to yourself so that you feel an expansion from within. This then gives the space to live your day in a totally different way.

  32. I have definitely felt a connection with my body, and a stillness from within while participating in Esoteric Yoga, and because of that I know that I can choose to move in a way that keeps me connected.

  33. Having spent a lot of time in India and doing various yoga classes there – I was always confused by the bodies of those teaching the classes and some of the very experienced students practicing it. They all looked sick in different ways – some very over weight with heavy damp coughs, others very thin with no definition to their structure and all had a look of hardness and protection in their body. I stopped doing yoga after I could feel myself going into hardness trying to keep up with the moves and postures.

  34. It is the ‘not trying to get anywhere’ that brings a simplicity that in the beginning was puzzling me. Yoga needed to be hard work, with different postures and also full with judgement, comparison and even jealousy. Now I love the stillness in connection with what lays inside my body and how esoteric yoga asks me to be present and to appreciate all that is revealed in my session about my connection with with me, with God.

  35. Your blog highlights the power of words and is indicative of how we use a word without knowing what it means from practical experience, only from our heads in theories or concepts at best. This is a great trap for man because the true lived meaning of words is becoming divorced from its day to day use and this leaves the door open to miss interpretation, confusion and bastardisation.

  36. I have also become aware of the overlay of an ‘identity’ that practising yoga can offer – which is seductive in the allure of the trim body, and the recognition of belonging to an ‘in’ spiritual practice, and for many other reasons as well, but once I could see those allures and the illusion underlying it all, it was easy to let it go, as it was clear this recognition and identity is just one step further away from the truth of who we are.

  37. Attempting to practise yoga I could feel functionally better than before exercising at all and yet something in the practice did not ever seem right, and I would often abandon the ‘yoga’ practice to just revert to some simple stretching – and only then I would start to feel clearer and more connected – the other was forced and unpleasant on the body – kind of an endurance session- but most importantly the truth of connection to the body and to our awareness was missing.

  38. I can relate here – the body feeling tight and achy from constant yoga practice – not free flowing, light expanded and aware and greater sense of wellbeing.. that kind of yoga brought no true connection

  39. The proverbial dangling carrot that is ‘forever enticing me to get to an elusive destination outside of me and far away’ is something that we can all get hooked on Fiona. Unfortunately it only serves to take us further away from ourselves and our innermost which is our true strength and power.

  40. I now realise that the striving and achieving towards something outside of myself will only keep me in a perpetual state of unease and lack of settlement. It also indicates that I am in an illusion that I need to attain something and that I am not enough, instead of surrendering to all I am already and confirming my divinity as a soul.

  41. I am deeply grateful for the inspiration, particularly the ‘mini sessions’. I have found it particularly challenging just surrendering into my body and letting myself feel what I’ve been trying to run from, so as a result, I have avoided esoteric yoga – even though when I have let myself be there with it I have felt the tremendous delicateness and power in my connection to my body. No more running.

  42. A ‘simply Divine’ blog too. The words ‘A way that I felt I already knew…’ ring so true with me. It is apparent to me that when we connect deeply in this way it is because it accords with something that is already within us rather than hitting on a new idea or belief that comes from outside. Our whole being chimes in harmony with the realisation of truth expressed.

  43. There has been little evidence the truth in the current forms of yoga being lived by its teachers and students despite the many hundreds of styles. Yoga is a Union and way of life – a living that connection with the All. Esoteric Yoga unfolds that deepening connection with our bodies that allows us to connect to the all of life.

  44. Interesting to read that true union with our bodies and ourselves has nothing to do with trying or striving or studying or competing or pushing but simply surrendering and allowing knowing that it is all already there ready to be connected to and expressed out.

  45. When I practiced hatha yoga, I was always chasing the next posture to perfect. I would push and push my body to get into the next complex shape, ignoring the pain in my joints and discomfort in my body. It was as if I thought I would somehow find the ‘union’ I had been seeking in being able to ‘do’ all the postures. The only yoga I now practice is Esoteric Yoga. There are no fancy postures to perform, just an invitation to connect to the stillness within.

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