Letting People In – True Love for All

by Nicole Serafin, Tintenbar, NSW, Australia

I recently attended a presentation by Universal Medicine that dealt with relationships and letting people in.

At this presentation, the level of love that was being presented was so deep you could not help but melt into what was here being offered – love and only love. 

I was able to feel what it is to be able to let another in: to truly let people in, without any reservations, no matter who they are. To let go of any fear of being hurt, or that another may use my fragility and vulnerability against me at some point.

Why is it we choose to live a life without letting people in? Even those close to us – children, partners, friends – only get to see part of who we truly are. Granted, they may see more than some, but it is still gauged upon how safe we feel with them, how much we trust them.

Have you ever let someone in only to feel hurt by them later on? And then from that hurt choose to keep others even further away just in case it was to happen again?

It’s absurd really, when you think about it! We are not being who we truly are just in case we get hurt… when it is we who are harming ourselves by not letting people in and being all of us in the first place. I think it hurts much more to not be who we are, and to live the guarded, protected versions.

What we are missing out on, AND what our friends and families are missing out on, is enormous.

Since realising that I was still holding back the true essence of me, and still hiding behind a wall of ‘what ifs’, I came to realise that if I truly loved and allowed, then nothing another did or said could ever harm me. Yes, I may feel hurt, but that does not mean that others are worthy of any less than my being all of me, nor am I worth less than being all of me.

In order for me to build a true relationship with myself and others, I had to knock down that wall, drop the protection and let people in; and let all of me out – without holding back my love.

The power of one is awesome, we know. However, the power of many is magnified. If we can fully open up to another and let them in, we can do this with everyone. What a different world that would be!

The workshop was for me, like getting married all over again – I felt myself opening up and letting people in like never before, a new, true sense of intimacy – being all of me. I realised that I can do this with anyone; with myself, another, and with all of humanity.

We deserve to be all that we are, and to share this with all others. If we live behind a wall of ‘what ifs’, our life will never feel complete. We will always be looking for something outside of ourselves to fulfil an emptiness that honestly only we can fill… as it is us that we are missing in the first place. No one and no thing can fill that… well, not for long anyhow.

I now know that by connecting to and living all of who I am, in all that I do, I am letting all of me out, and letting people in. There is no longer the emptiness that I carried around for so long.

My relationships are now based on my needing nothing. I am now able to have true relationships with all those I come into contact with. At times there may be some hurt, but I am able to very quickly return to love, and the hurt is insignificant compared to the joy and glory that is present when I choose to live all of me.

Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for the constant love, inspiration and foundation that you are. The unwavering support and life that is lived by you creates a foundation which allows me to feel that life is not about doing, but simply about being.

272 thoughts on “Letting People In – True Love for All

  1. How much we allow people in is a reflection of the intimacy we have with ourselves, if we do not embrace ourselves fully then we will not fully embrace others either.

  2. “I think it hurts much more to not be who we are, and to live the guarded, protected versions.” – I agree for sure it hurts much more to not be true to our innate expression of being loving than it does to be rejected by another. And that’s not to dismiss the hurt we can feel by way of feeling rejected or put down by others but that hurt needn’t stick with an open heart…

  3. I agree Nicole, it hurts us far more to live the guarded and protected version of ourselves which is far lesser than the love we are just in case we get hurt. It does not make sense when you really consider how powerful we all truly are in our fullness.

  4. “My relationships are now based on my needing nothing” – this makes me realise how I have a need for others to be love as well, and that is a hard one to be fulfilled constantly. But the chances are when we start with love, it offers others to make that choice too, rather than meeting them from the place of ‘I know you are never going to deliver it anyway.’ And casting that condition is already a giveaway that we are not being ourselves.

  5. It is great to see where and how we feel hurt in life. So we can notice it and not react on auto pilot, but see what happens and how it never really says we are wrong, but it is us that takes that on.

  6. All those ‘What if’s’ come from thoughts, being open comes from a feeling of my whole body wanting to explode with joy. The thoughts make me feel small and withdrawing from people and hurts my body. Being open I feel taller, lighter, brighter and vital. The more I claim and feel the difference, the easier it becomes to tear down that ‘what if’ wall.

  7. When we connect to our essence we get to feel all the hurts we have used to keep people out. The more we connect to our essence the more we start to choose to move in relationships from this space and not from our hurts. It lets love in as we let it out.

  8. A very beautiful sharing, one that I can feel is cutting and shedding my own layers of what if’s. Really it is silly, no amount of not letting ourselves be ‘fully ourselves and open to others’ will stop us from being hurt. We still feel hurt, so even this long held argument holds no traction, our love on the other holds us, supports us and nurtures us through them.

  9. I love coming back to this blog as it confirms to me how we can choose to be intimate and transparent with everyone in the world and to feel the joy that this choice will bring to our lives.

  10. I like how you share that when we let people in we also naturally let who we are out, it seems to me like a two-way street and it reminds me of a massive old rickety door that we’ve kept closed for so long, and when you finally open it the light is let back into and out of the house – it’s definitely great to practice keeping this door open.

  11. In recent years I have started to drop this guard more and more and as I have, I have started to feel much more freedom in my body and this is awesome to feel. Its like I used to hold myself to a certain picture and would only move within this whereas I am now busting out of this and allowing myself to express much more freely.

  12. We can talk about love and use the word and many people do in many situations. It has come to mean many different things, but this does not change the fact that we all can energetically feel the quality of vibration that is true love and this cannot be denied or faked or fabricated.

  13. Intimacy is a key to relationships and it doesn’t mean being physically intimate with another person, it means being completely open and transparent with the other person. Intimacy is another word that we need to reclaim its truth from the way it has been twisted in recent times. Once you have experienced true intimacy with another, where there is no protection or guard, you know what intimacy really is. Its connecting to their deepest essence and allowing them to see all of you.

  14. Enjoyed reading this article again. Letting people in, and letting all of me out is now a constant choice at this stage in my life, but one which I can feel will be my normal. Now breaking the momentum of being behind the wall for so long.

  15. Basically it is a choice to stay behind a wall of protection, a wall that can seem very normal. The wall will not disappear by working on the wall but by reaching out, connecting to people behind the wall.

  16. Sometimes we have been living in our own little world for so long that we don’t know anymore how it feels to connect to people, let people in and make it about people once again. But to connect to people, let them in and let yourself come out of that self created bubble is just the best thing in life and once we have felt it once there is no turning back.

  17. I agree with you Nicole, I think it hurts much more to not be who we are, and to live the guarded, protected version of us instead of being open and true to ourselves and with others.

  18. Having relationships with people based on nothing. Um, hello!! how freeing is that? No expectations, just being open to the other person. Unheard of! Well, obviously there are people out there, putting this true love to the test, and from my personal observations, I’ve noticed it works, and the biggest thing that sticks out, is that there is next to no DRAMA.

    1. Great point Elodie. There is a cycle here to indeed be broken, whereas when we do not let others in and ourselves out we feel an emptiness and an exhaustion because we are using so much energy to hold back our natural expression and openness. So then we go to creating dramas and issues in our life to avoid and distract ourselves from dealing with these things and it gives us a boost, even though it is not sustaining in any true way.

  19. This has been a huge issue over the years of keeping people away from me because of past hurts – its just in case I’ll only give a portion of myself to others. The protection was like Fort Knox.

    Like yourself since being a student of Universal Medicine workshops and without perfection that this wall has been crumbling. I see people for who they are and I’m letting people see me for who I truely am too.

    I’m realising that when I am transparent its kind of giving others around me permission to be transparent too but develop the trust to be their true selves around others. We can be a great beacon for others when we are living in our true essence.

  20. Our first hurt is that when we chose to disconnect from our essence, leaving it behind only to engage in the indulgences of the spirit and resisting that which is natural within ourselves only if we so willingly chose to reconnect.

  21. “We deserve to be all that we are, and to share this with all others.” In being all the love that we are we inspire others to also know and be who they are.

  22. Because we are love, it takes more energy to resist love than it takes to express it. Perhaps this explains the levels of extreme debilitating exhaustion that so plague us today.

  23. Awesome Nicole, letting people in is letting love in. We are all love. It’s a deep concept to understand when on the surface we see so much pain, discomfort, tension, sadness – the whole array of emotions – it’s only our perception. Within (this) is that untouched pure love. How do we let it out when it has not been our norm? Either of the 2 ways can be our approach — let the love we know out OR let all of another in. Love can only come from our natural saturation in brotherhood because we all know it within.

  24. If we, in any way hold back from ourselves, we can never fully let people in. Whenever I sense myself not letting a person in or when judgement creeps in, I know there’s work to be done on myself.

  25. I can relate to this blog Nicole as I lived for many years not letting people in as I didn’t want to get hurt, it seems crazy really as you end up hurting yourself more than anyone else would and then miss out on all the love that is on offer. Letting all this protection go and letting others in has been an absolute game changer for me as well, allowing me to experience a deeper relationship with myself and with everyone I meet.

  26. ‘My relationships are now based on my needing nothing’ When we no longer need or want anything from a relationship we have a true relationship.

  27. I agree Nicole, “I think it hurts much more to not be who we are, and to live the guarded, protected versions.” How can we expect others to be open with us when we hold back a part of ourselves just in case we are hurt? How we present ourselves is already read and felt by another well before we speak.

  28. When we live in protection, holding back on who we are, our relationships are based on falsities, on qualities that do not represent who we really are. We are essentially communication the message that we don’t trust each other, and blaming another for a hurt that has not yet happened. Yet as you have shared feeling hurt is our responsibility, we choose it only though our separation of to the love we are, to being ourselves. For in-truth we are not our hurts but in fact much greater, and when we live in connection to the greatness we are, to our unending love within, we then can live the realness of who new are and bring this realness to the relationship we share. Thank you Nicole, for sharing this profound message, highlighting how being who we are and letting people in not only liberates us from the protection we hide in but serves to unite us all so we can learn, grow and evolve through love together.

  29. I have hidden myself away for most of my life, only putting out a projected idea of how I thought I should be, this I thought would keep me safe from being hurt, but all it did was keep me separated from people and my own self, it has been quite a journey, firstly discovering that there is a me and that I am okay, and that the love I was seeking was right there just inside of me waiting for me to connect to. Learning to feel my love and letting it out has opened me up to letting people in, not all the time but it is a work in progress.

  30. It hurts us to avoid hurt because we live a lesser version of ourselves but it hurts when you get hurt too, I suppose our safest plan is to just hurt all the time to avoid getting hurt sometimes..?? Or maybe that isn’t the best plan of action, hurt constantly to avoid hurting sometimes…we are funny aren’t we? We all do it but when you think about it, it makes no sense.

  31. Beautiful to read this Nicole, very inspirational and exactly what the world needs to hear! Life lived in protection is a total waste. But we are so invested in our identity through our hurts that we are not so willing to live in our hearts. Such a crazy set up! So it is so important for us to share when we do experience life from connection rather than protection.

  32. I used to think I had to ‘do’ something in order to let people in as being guarded was my usual stance in the world, then I realised that it was about me simply being me that I was having a problem with.

  33. I agree – needing something/someone to be a certain way at a certain time, is what sets us up for hurt, and I catch myself in that every now and then, and that is a cue for me to look at in what way I have not been loving to myself first therefore needing something outside me to fill the emptiness.

  34. I can relate to this, of being wary and guarded with people once you have been hurt, and how this perpetuates the hurt and continues the issues between people. When we let people in we are able to understand them more and then there are less issues between people.

    1. Yes Kristy so can I – well said. The irony is that we think we are playing it safe, yet in fact we are not. ‘Safe’ means to be free from harm or hurt, however in protection we are magnifying harm and hurt on every level. Our greatest surety is found through our connection to our love, being open to love and in living our love with others, without measure or confines. A process that is still unfolding for me, but the more I surrender to it the more I experience the freedom, joy and realness that comes from letting people in.

  35. ‘We are not being who we truly are just in case we get hurt…’ I cannot but wonder just how much the world around us is missing out on with us holding back like this?

  36. ‘If we live behind a wall of ‘what ifs’, our life will never feel complete.’ This makes sense, we will often try to protect, hide and make sure we are ‘safe’. And it is the opposite that will bring us contentment within ourselves and also a simplicity in all our expressions, a lovely solidness from within.

  37. Really love this blog, and reading it again brings a new sense to what true love and relationship is, it is in just coming to this realisation within ourselves that we truly find ourselves and let ourselves shine.

  38. You are quite right that living protected and controlled, only revealing a certain amount of ourselves, means that we and everyone else is missing out on so much. It’s crazy that we are holding back the best bits of ourselves, just in case they are rejected or attract jealousy. Although I am not free of this myself, I am becoming more aware of just how much I am doing this and the harmful effect this has on my physiology and enjoyment in life.

  39. Nicole I loved reading your blog, it really reminded me how we can be our worst enemy and yet when we allow ourselves to be all of who we are we can be our greatest advocates.

  40. It is the wall that we have created in fear of hurts that is holding us from the amazing power that is in the union of people. When we truly come together it is unbelievable what we can achieve.

  41. It is absurd as you say Nicole that in measuring ourselves and not letting people in, just in case we get hurt by them, we end up hurting ourselves anyway.

  42. When we truly and fully let people in, I don’t think we can be hurt. The hurt comes from us not being ourselves in the first place and then that being rejected. Letting someone in is letting ourselves out, like you’ve expressed Nicole – and with that comes observation and understanding of who we and everyone is in essence = equality.

    1. .. And that not being ourselves stuff is usually what others are reacting to in the first place: one facade or layer of protection meeting another. When we truly let go and just allow ourselves to be, to say whatever is there to be said and allow the truth out, it is the most freeing feeling in the world. No holding back and nothing to hide behind. Just the simplicity, flow and ease of allowing ourselves to be.

      1. It is quite ironic really. The stuff that people often react to or don’t like about another person is actually the fake, safe, outer version of ourselves we present to others. I wonder if we subconsciously justify this behaviour to ourselves, thinking that its better to have our fake persona rejected than feel the deep hurt of having our precious true self rejected.

    2. Yes I can see that Bryony, the real hurt is that we have changed or compromised ourselves based on our perceptions of the world, rather than staying true to ourselves. And we don’t like to feel this or admit it so. It is convenient to blame the outside world or others for this self-abandonment.

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