Lies about Love

by  Johanna Fredericks, Bachelor of Education, Perth WA

The lies about Love that I have fallen for were exposed to me yesterday when I attended the Couples Workshop held by Universal Medicine. As it turns out, it wasn’t really just for couples, it was actually a ‘Relationship Workshop’ – about our relationship with self and our relationships with others.

We were asked simple and direct questions that, for me, exposed the false ideals and beliefs that I was holding on to around what Love is.

Because of these ideals and beliefs, which I hold only in my mind, I sometimes feel hurt when others don’t meet my idea of Love. When I come from my mind’s perception of what Love is or from what I was ‘told’ Love should be, I get tricked into thinking that I get hurt.

The biggest revelation for me during the Universal Medicine relationship workshop – one that I felt deeply to be true in my body – was that Love is from the heart and the heart is pure and it can never actually get hurt. I also got to feel very deeply that Love is universal, it is equal for all, it is a quality and an energy that we naturally are and can hold others in.

Even though I have been developing a deeper level of love in my body over the last 6 years, and I know that I AM LOVE and I feel the purity of true Love when I am connected to my heart, throughout the workshop I got to feel the depths of the absolute lies that I had been sold about Love in my life.

For example, in the past I believed Love was about:

  • Meeting expectations,
  • Doing something ‘nice’ for someone,
  • Always giving up time, even if it was at expense to self,
  • Recognition and identification,
  • Buying gifts and making gestures for the sake of it,
  • Not speaking up,
  • Sex,
  • Enjoining in emotional messes,
  • Allowing people close to me to get away with treating me, at times, without care.

It was freeing to feel this, as I no longer carry the hurt because I now understand it.

And if we are all holding misinterpretations and expectations of what Love is, then our relationships are being affected greatly, because one person’s expectation rarely fits in with another’s. No wonder there is often a mismatch!

I also now know there are no limits or boundaries to Love in its true form. I got to feel the two versions of Love and they are polar opposites.

I allowed myself to see, with my eyes wide open, what I had been sold as Love and what I had fallen for. I held the two views side by side: what I had been sold and believed versus, what I know love to be and feel deep in me and in others. When I compared the two versions, I got to feel the great injustice of it all.

Now I know True Love is about (and the fact is, I knew this Love when I was little):

  • Treating myself and another with tenderness, preciousness and a deep level of care,
  • Consideration, understanding and appreciation,
  • Feeling the quality of the movement in my body and the care in the voice,
  • Getting called out when we are not being the Love that we are,
  • Not holding back in expressing Love in action or word,
  • Looking deeply into another’s eyes,
  • Allowing fragility, true intimacy and surrendering,
  • Holding Love strong and supporting others,
  • Being interested in another and being patient.

Love for me now is also:

  • About letting me know that I matter greatly,
  • Supportive, nourishing and TRUE,
  • Something each and everyone of us IS and deserves.

Today, I am more able to live in this amazing Love and know that it is there for us all, should we choose it! Through the consistent and unwavering true Love Serge Benhayon and those from Universal Medicine have shown me, and through Universal Medicine presentations and workshops such as the recent one on relationships, I’ve been able to feel Love in its true form and have been clearly shown that this Love can be lived every day. From this reflection I’ve also been able to feel that I AM LOVE.

Now I am deeply inspired to support myself every day to live the Love that I am, in connection to my heart. This love is so grand, I am forever unfolding, developing and deepening… allowing the Love that lives within me to be… and no longer falling for lies about love.


346 thoughts on “Lies about Love

  1. It is great to expose the lies about love because they do have a hold over us if we don’t. It is very healthy to do so because to live with a idea of what love is when that actually is not love can be making us tired or even ill. I mean that if we think always saying yes is love than we can be running ourselves down so much after a while that we get exhausted or even ill.

  2. “Love is from the heart and the heart is pure and it can never actually get hurt” – this sentence really stood out for me. This makes me realise how holding onto hurt is a choice, and in that choice we are saying no to love while we say we so crave.

    1. The sentence you highlighted Fumiyo is very inspiring. We are either choosing to be love or not. When we are being love we are able to see everything with truth, clarity, openness and understanding without reaction but simply able to hold ourselves and others in love no matter what we receive. It is when we are choosing to not be love that hurts seep into our body and potentially drives us to hurt others too.

  3. I love re-reading this blog and feeling the truth of how we cannot ever be hurt when we are in connection with our innermost divine essence of Love in its true form and feeling the difference when caught up in the lesser emotional love that tends to rule most of our lives, until exposed for what it is.

  4. Our perception of how we think things should be can really interfere with how we receive or interpret events! Love is a word that has been so heavily weighted with images of what it should look like that are actually false and not love at all. Re-connecting with our innermost gives us a marker from which we can begin to discern again what really feels true to us.

    1. So true Fiona. When we are connected to our innermost we can easily discern everything with clarity and truth, therefore almost impossible to feel hurt because we view the world through loving eyes, leaving us free of expectations and images. We are also able to be more understanding and not take things personally.

  5. If we honestly delve into our version of love and then if we connect to what love truly is, often it is a shock to feel how far apart the 2 versions are.

  6. I grew up with this belief that love would come to me and only through the form of a relationship. God, how my eyes have opened up now. This belief led me to constantly search for love and think it was outside of me. This set up meant that I was prepared to accept anything in a relationship just to get the attention and affection of another. However, when I recognise that I am love and it is about letting this out and sharing it with others I then do not need to be filled from the outside.

  7. Reading your blog Johanna is supporting me to let go of expectations and images of how to be in relationships. I realise if I feel hurt by someone, it is often related to an old hurt that I have not healed. This leads me to not see the situation with clarity or love but through hurts.

  8. ‘Lies About Love’, that should be a movie title – but a movie that actually presents all that you’ve shared here and not one that creates even more dramatic twists and turns.

  9. I love how relationships cover all relationships we have, with a partner, friend, work colleagues or even someone we exchange looks or words with in the supermarket they are all relationships. True love is like being a child, who is able to give another a look, a hug, a smile without taking anything on from the other person, but free to be a reflection of their own essence.

  10. Johanna reading you blog I get a clearer picture of the pack of lies we have been sold and indeed fallen for, around the meaning of love…. all of which has been manufactured to keep us from knowing about, and connecting to true love which resides within us all. What a blessing it is to have Serge Benhayon amongst us sharing, living and reflecting the true meaning of love.

    1. There is a blog – or hundreds… in this alone Elizabeth. Without having the reflection of another who lives the real deal of love, and buys into (nor needs) none of the falsity we have been fed and promulgated for centuries, if not aeons… we are left bereft, flailing about with perhaps a knowing that ‘there is more’, but not able to access it.
      This was most definitely my own experience. Upon meeting Serge Benhayon in 2001, my life changed and I began to steer my own course back to the truth of Love once again. The changes? Well, they’ve been fundamentally beyond measure. The Love I now live today? Deeply inspiring, awesome, and extending its capacity every single day…

  11. I too have fallen for the lies about love in the past. Sometimes I still trip over and get hurt by the false version of love. From attending many relationship workshops I am able to recognise when I am not being loving and when I receive a false version of love to now being able to not react as often to emotional love but to stay connected to my inner heart and truth. I now understand that love is always forever expansive, all-encompassing and it is for us to reflect and to not hold on to, but for us to share with people, the world and beyond and because love is who we all are.

  12. Relationship with self is what I did not have and so was looking for love outside me, but with the support of Universal Medicine, that love is within us, I started to work on my relationship to self allowing the love from within to come out. I know I am love and it is that love I know connect too.

  13. Exposing the lies about love, is so important to do and feel in full for ourselves all the false ways we have chosen to see love to be.

  14. One of the lies about love you’ve mentioned; ‘Always giving up time, even if it was at expense to self’ is something I am getting more aware of, how I try to not see it but when I am honest to myself I do actually put the other before me and yes it is about treating myself and if I support myself by being tender and loving with myself, this quality is what I reflect and others get to feel true love.

  15. I definitely subscribed to the ‘love is nice’ expectation and ideal in the past, whereas l’ve come to understand and know that it has nothing to do with it. Love is love, and has many and varied expressions, all of which hold the same vibration of energy, but none of which is a ‘nice’ vibration. Love is so much more than that, it leaves ‘nice’ feeling superficial and false.

  16. When we experience the quality of true love, we are able to realise the perceptions and ideals of what we think love is and expose them for the falseness they are, as you have lovingly shared Johanna.

  17. I can relate to thinking that love is ‘nice’ too but this is far from love and often capping of people. There can be an arrogance in this of not seeing that everyone is capable of working through whatever their situation may be and have within them all that is needed to do this, sometimes we think love is rescuing others when in truth it is about holding them in love and all that we know them to be.

  18. Johanna thankyou, this is very powerful. One of the big lies about love that still catches me out is doing things for others at the expense of self. The truth is always though felt in my body because what is not truly love places it into a stress.

  19. We can lace a word and what it means to us with a lot of things that are damaging, hindering and crushing of who we truly are, without really seeing what we are choosing but when we have true love in it’s entirety reflected to us is gives us the opportunity to remember or re-connect with that same love that lives within our innermost all the time and to re-imprint what our experience and livingness of love truly is.

  20. There is an almost automatic switch inside my body that likes to criticise myself when I have made unloving choices, and yet what is there really to criticise when the way back to love is a process? From so many lifetimes of not living the truth of love, every single choice back to love matters and is a surrender. Any critical thoughts come in to delay this process. And yet with more and more choices to be gentle, it is so much more easier to love now. And being aware that I have this automatic switch is a reminder to deepen the love first with myself. Love does not differ whether I accept this love or not, so holding onto not accepting it is a form of recognition to delay in being love, focusing then on what is a lesser state than love when it is self-created to stay less, is a self-fulfilling prophecy of not wanting to evolve. All of this is amazing to expose, as it exposes the resistance to naturally evolve, when evolution is actually simply natural.

  21. The false or emotional love is conditional and teaches us to hold back, not express or express in a way that is harmful to ourselves and others. Knowing we are already love and that this is something that we grow within us by self nurturing, honouring what comes up and allowing others to make their own choices changes everything especially the level of health and wellbeing we live everyday.

  22. You’re spot on when you write there is a great injustice in the way in which we have been sold a false and very diminished form of love when the truth of it is that Love is magnificent, eternal and absolutely accessible because it is within every one of us equally.

  23. To touch once again upon the truth of ones’ own Love, and the Love that we all, indelibly, are, offers a turning point in our lives – a point that if truly acknowledged and honoured, can transform every relationship that we have, inclusive and fundamentally of that with ourselves…
    For in restoring our relationship with Love and the Truth (rather than falsity) of it, our purpose in life irrevocably turns towards the all – quite the contrast to the seeking of roses, chocolates and attention that merely gratifies the self for but a moment…

  24. The fact that hurt is manufactured and not truly occurring is what fascinates me. We have all been sold this idea or lie that our hearts can be broken but in truth it is just the false expectations and beliefs that we layer on top of our hearts that get shattered when people don’t live up to our perceived needs. It takes a long time to fully embrace this understanding but I have experienced a simple exercise at Universal Medicine workshops that prove this to be true; we were asked to connect back to our breath and our bodies and after I did this, I did not feel all the damage and hurt that I thought I might. When I looked around the room, I realized neither did anyone else. When you connect to your hearts, no matter what your back ground or past experiences are, you realise we are all the same heart, all the same amount of love, the heart is untarnished.

  25. Being understanding and considerate of others is a way of living that is readily accessible to us all, but the way the world is heading we are instead living with abuse, dismissiveness, demands and ridicule of one another. We as a society are heading the wrong way, but it only takes one to choose the true path, and from that point on all can change.

  26. “I got to feel the two versions of Love and they are polar opposites.” It is interesting what you say Johanna, as this to me also means that in the way our mind is in control of our lives, the life we are currently living could be the polar opposite to what our true way of living life would be. While hard to imagine it feels true to me as the way our current societies are far from successful and my body knows there is another way to be.

  27. I bought into love being all about self sacrifice for the good of others and all that goes along with that belief much of which you outlined, I was shocked to realise that what I thought was love and loving, were just a whole heap of lies about love. I am still learning more about true love, feeling it in my body when I connect to that inner part of me. “one that I felt deeply to be true in my body – was that Love is from the heart and the heart is pure and it can never actually get hurt”

  28. We all do have a natural sense of what love is, as it is our innate way of being. Yet through our disconnection to our love, we instead allow ourselves to be guided by pictures and images that always suggest that we are not enough, we need to attain, achieve, or get something else to be complete. Whereas in connection to the vibration of love we know what love is, we know who we are, and as such the equalness we are held in, which is always calling us to be more of who we are as we connect and share our love with others.

  29. When Truth is presented to us we know it is the Truth because we recognise it as our natural, innate way of being. However, at times it is challenging to accept and can even resist it because of the lies we have held as ideals and beliefs are so ingrained and our investment in them is so great. What is shared here about Love is a prime example, and foundational one, of this and there are many others such as, family, intelligence, education, religion and the list goes on.

  30. That is still sometimes a difficult one: When I say something and I want the other to get what I am saying, is that loving as I want to interfere in their free will?

  31. We want to be confirmed and we want this to happen in our way. When this happens, we are ‘in love’ with the other person. Yet, if this does not happen we feel we are not loved enough.
    It is fascinating how beliefs around love are a real hurdle to be love and surrender to it.

  32. We have been sold a lesser form of love even though deep within we knew it wasn’t true – what a powerful reflection we offer others when we live true love on a daily basis.

  33. Love has certainly been reinterpreted by us and misrepresented to us time and again, from the pop culture that surrounds us to the ideals and beliefs we take on. How beautiful to find it is actually something else altogether, something unimposing and modest, yet magnificent and grand – and that it lives within us all.

  34. The lies we have on earth is the lack of love that is not claimed. The more that claim the meaning of love through Johanna simple examples the more the emotional love will be seen as false.

  35. It is great to expose how we often hold an ideal or perception of what love is that prevents us from being open and accepting of the quality of love we hold within ourselves first as we are focussed on seeking our ideal of love outside ourselves and living a far lesser quality.

  36. “I am deeply inspired to support myself every day to live the Love that I am,” developing a truly loving relationship with yourself is the way to be aware of the love in all others.

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