Lies about Love

by  Johanna Fredericks, Bachelor of Education, Perth WA

The lies about Love that I have fallen for were exposed to me yesterday when I attended the Couples Workshop held by Universal Medicine. As it turns out, it wasn’t really just for couples, it was actually a ‘Relationship Workshop’ – about our relationship with self and our relationships with others.

We were asked simple and direct questions that, for me, exposed the false ideals and beliefs that I was holding on to around what Love is.

Because of these ideals and beliefs, which I hold only in my mind, I sometimes feel hurt when others don’t meet my idea of Love. When I come from my mind’s perception of what Love is or from what I was ‘told’ Love should be, I get tricked into thinking that I get hurt.

The biggest revelation for me during the Universal Medicine relationship workshop – one that I felt deeply to be true in my body – was that Love is from the heart and the heart is pure and it can never actually get hurt. I also got to feel very deeply that Love is universal, it is equal for all, it is a quality and an energy that we naturally are and can hold others in.

Even though I have been developing a deeper level of love in my body over the last 6 years, and I know that I AM LOVE and I feel the purity of true Love when I am connected to my heart, throughout the workshop I got to feel the depths of the absolute lies that I had been sold about Love in my life.

For example, in the past I believed Love was about:

  • Meeting expectations,
  • Doing something ‘nice’ for someone,
  • Always giving up time, even if it was at expense to self,
  • Recognition and identification,
  • Buying gifts and making gestures for the sake of it,
  • Not speaking up,
  • Sex,
  • Enjoining in emotional messes,
  • Allowing people close to me to get away with treating me, at times, without care.

It was freeing to feel this, as I no longer carry the hurt because I now understand it.

And if we are all holding misinterpretations and expectations of what Love is, then our relationships are being affected greatly, because one person’s expectation rarely fits in with another’s. No wonder there is often a mismatch!

I also now know there are no limits or boundaries to Love in its true form. I got to feel the two versions of Love and they are polar opposites.

I allowed myself to see, with my eyes wide open, what I had been sold as Love and what I had fallen for. I held the two views side by side: what I had been sold and believed versus, what I know love to be and feel deep in me and in others. When I compared the two versions, I got to feel the great injustice of it all.

Now I know True Love is about (and the fact is, I knew this Love when I was little):

  • Treating myself and another with tenderness, preciousness and a deep level of care,
  • Consideration, understanding and appreciation,
  • Feeling the quality of the movement in my body and the care in the voice,
  • Getting called out when we are not being the Love that we are,
  • Not holding back in expressing Love in action or word,
  • Looking deeply into another’s eyes,
  • Allowing fragility, true intimacy and surrendering,
  • Holding Love strong and supporting others,
  • Being interested in another and being patient.

Love for me now is also:

  • About letting me know that I matter greatly,
  • Supportive, nourishing and TRUE,
  • Something each and everyone of us IS and deserves.

Today, I am more able to live in this amazing Love and know that it is there for us all, should we choose it! Through the consistent and unwavering true Love Serge Benhayon and those from Universal Medicine have shown me, and through Universal Medicine presentations and workshops such as the recent one on relationships, I’ve been able to feel Love in its true form and have been clearly shown that this Love can be lived every day. From this reflection I’ve also been able to feel that I AM LOVE.

Now I am deeply inspired to support myself every day to live the Love that I am, in connection to my heart. This love is so grand, I am forever unfolding, developing and deepening… allowing the Love that lives within me to be… and no longer falling for lies about love.


372 thoughts on “Lies about Love

  1. It’s wonderful to finally be reminded all that we have always innately known, but didn’t realise we knew because we’ve been so clouded by the ideals and pictures of love that have surrounded us and had us believing in. It makes sense that the movies and the stories aren’t real, because nothing ever quite added up. It’s like according to those stories, we are nothing without a partner or someone to love us. How insane is that? What about the very fact that we are all equally enough just as we are?! Feels truer to me.

  2. We hold misinterpretations about love as well as demands as to how we want it when we have walked away from loving ourselves. It is only through loving ourselves first that we can then offer the real deal of love to another. A love that does not pander, feed on emotional needs and woes (none of that is love), but that simply offers the inspiration and understanding for another to feel the unending depths of their own love as well.

  3. ‘Feeling the quality of the movement in my body and the care in the voice,’ the quality of my movements and my voice are a great indicator of way I have been living to that point. When I am connected to myself and the love that I am it feels horrible to speak with a harsh voice. The quality of my voice is changing the more aware I am of it and there is so much less strain on my body when I speak this way.

  4. Why when something doesn’t or isn’t working do we try over and over again to have it work in the same way. Love is a great example as the meaning we have in it’s current form just isn’t working for us and yet we put our head down and go back in hoping to have a different result without making a change to the quality we are doing it in. This article breaks things open and allows us to choose another quality in love and from this trust that how we are with ourselves in love will then translate out into all else.

  5. I have been pondering recently on when I have got hurt and what actually happens. I feel the hurt, it is ‘real’ but it is not who I am although in that moment I have thought it was me because it was what I was actually feeling at that time. To read ‘…the heart is pure and it can never actually get hurt’ is I know obvious and makes absolute sense but it does bring up some resistance in me! Beautiful to feel the resistance and nominate. Thank you Johanna for sharing.

  6. What you have shared here Johanna is amazing, “Love is from the heart and the heart is pure and it can never actually get hurt”. This means to me that to be afraid of being hurt by love is impossible! We can only be hurt by emotion!

  7. Interesting list that you used to think love was and I am sure I did too, now I know beyond any doubt that none of those items we thought were love are love, in fact many are the opposite. We all go into relationships with protection, I will love you a little if I don’t get hurt, but the moment we get hurt we close down and protect ourselves further.

  8. I had all these pictures on how I wanted love to be and in that I was rejecting everything that was before me, now I am learning to deeply treasure all I have been given and to know that this is everything I need at this current time and it is amazing and I deserve it- that’s a big one to accept.

  9. Yeh I totally agree – discovering that love is inside you and not just something you receive is a game changer. And there’s little greater than feeling love in your heart and knowing that i’ts there no matter what.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s