Living a Harmonious Life in our Eighties

My husband and I have found that to live a truly harmonious way of life in our eighties requires us to be responsible for the quality of lives we lead.

We met Serge Benhayon and his family thirteen years ago, as well as many other people who have become our very good friends. Over these thirteen years we have learned many life skills which have helped us change our conceptions about life and about the choices we make. It is interesting to have these new concepts come into one’s life as one grows older: so many of our friends who have remained in Sydney are finding their lives are contracting, their friends are dying and they only have their families. We, on the other hand, find that our lives are expanding with new friends and new challenges all the time.

As we enter into our ninth decade we feel more aware, more alive… and more blessed by sincere and loving friends than ever before. This I attribute to the many life lessons that Serge Benhayon has shown us. We have found that by listening to our own body rhythms and going to bed early we can live more productive and balanced lives.

By taking full responsibility for our actions and our reactions we can live more harmoniously with each other and with all others: this has made our lives so much more worthwhile and so much more meaningful.

We no longer feel the need for any stimulants, either coffee or alcohol, which both play such a large part in our society at present. Both are very harmful for our bodies and should not be considered “harmless”. We feel that alcohol related violence is a present source of much suffering and alcohol should be seen to be the scourge that it actually is.

Living harmoniously is something that so many do not understand – and probably don’t want to understand – because it means that they really have to look at how they live their lives. How one thinks, how one reacts and how one communicates with one’s fellow humans is all one’s own responsibility, no-one can do this for you, and it is not something you can wriggle out of either, although many spend a lot of energy trying to do so!

We have found that establishing a rhythm to living and recognising when that rhythm is disturbed – either by our own actions or reactions or by absorbing the energy of others – enables us to deal with anything that life throws at us. It is all a matter of being with ourselves 100% all the time – this does take practice, but it is so worthwhile.

I feel, in all honesty, that I will continue to live a productive and loving life until I die, whenever that might be. I feel more alive and more joyful than at any other stage of my life because for the first time I take full responsibility and know that my wellbeing is totally up to me – not because of anything or anyone else, and not because I have to be a certain way or not.

I am simply me and it is wonderful.

By Rowena Parkes

621 thoughts on “Living a Harmonious Life in our Eighties

  1. “I feel more alive and more joyful than at any other stage of my life because for the first time I take full responsibility” – this is huge. So many of us spend life times trying to skive off from responsibility and measure ‘happiness’ by how much and how often we succeed in that.

  2. Rowena what you share is deeply inspiring and very supportive for anyone approaching their later years and what is possible when we live a loving and joyful life.

  3. Love, our essence, our connection to our soul are all ageless and we can connect at any age we choose to, we are never to old to make different choices and change our lives.

  4. Very inspirational Rowena. I feel the aliveness in your words, very special to read that people at your age can still be so full in life. Your living example would take the dread for a miserable life ending away. It is the normal in society but it is not our innate normal.

  5. Thank you, Rowena and your husband for showing people of any age that life does not have to be dreary and lack purpose as we age. As a society, we have only negative images of what the elderly are like, and this is doing them an injustice and shortchanging them. Along with setting up the generations to come – never lightly, people dread getting old.

  6. I hear many people say they want to live a harmonious life but I realise this doesn’t just happen, it requires us to take responsibility for life and for all our choices. How we live can contribute to harmony or disharmony, and this level of responsibility is not widely known or lived by humanity. The idea of living in harmony sounds great, but how prepared are we to actually live it as a race collectively?

  7. I am recognising how many conditions I put on life. It is important to discern as we go but if we let our thinking take centre stage we lose the connection to our inner heart and relationships become arrangements and we miss each other and ourselves.

  8. Wow Rowena, not many people feel the way you do in their twenties and thirties. What you have here is very rare and very especial. It is something many people look for but may not be able to find it by looking high and low in all things around them. How you are feeling and living is an inspiration for us all. Amazing Rowena!

  9. I have to agree with you, I don’t think most people even want to consider what living harmoniously would be like let alone give it a try. We are so wedded to our patterns and our emotions, we are not even open to the concept that everything would be so much better if we tried to live harmoniously with each other.

  10. Rowena your an amazing inspiration not only to those approaching their 80’s but also society as a whole, the children, and the 30 somethings who get to look at growing older not in fear but in appreciation of different stages and cycles of life.

  11. “I feel more alive and more joyful than at any other stage of my life because for the first time I take full responsibility and know that my wellbeing is totally up to me – not because of anything or anyone else, and not because I have to be a certain way or not.” – This is a really powerful statement Rowena, and I can see how many times as people get older they tend to perhaps not want to look at how all their choices throughout their life got them to the physical, mental, and emotional condition they find themselves in if it is indeed a more challenging one. Also, we need to take care of our elders and honour what they are offering us with all their lived wisdom, instead of practically ignoring them because they remind us of our own inevitable death.

  12. ‘We have found that establishing a rhythm to living and recognising when that rhythm is disturbed – either by our own actions or reactions or by absorbing the energy of others – enables us to deal with anything that life throws at us.’ This feels so loving and harmonious; the beauty of being in rhythm is such a contrast to the energies that can disturb.

  13. ‘As we enter into our ninth decade we feel more aware, more alive… and more blessed by sincere and loving friends than ever before.’ This is so inspiring to read Rowena! As you share many, if not most, in their eighties find their lives are contracting. To live so authentically, with such richness and purpose into your nineties is truly groundbreaking.

  14. This is a very inspiring testimony of how enriching our lives can be and continue to unfold through our willingness to be open to exploring deepening our relationship with our Soul, and all that is on offer through this connection. At every point of our lives that is available for us to live and share, to our very last breath.

  15. “My well-being is totally up to me” This is absolutely true, taking responsibility like this allows us the possibility of a harmonious life. We may need to work at it but as you show here in your blog it is worth every moment.

  16. Rowena, what powerful and inspiring role models you and your husband are for a way of living that is harmonious and possible for all.

  17. I completely agree with you Rowena. My life and relationship is getting more and more gorgeous and harmonious as I age and harmony does not mean quiet or boring as it is extremely Joy-full, full and productive – just more and more free of any conflict or emotions. I am only in my early 60s but if I continue this way can’t imagine how much even awesomer (so great needs a new word) I will be in my 80s and 90s!

  18. “How one thinks, how one reacts and how one communicates with one’s fellow humans is all one’s own responsibility, no-one can do this for you, and it is not something you can wriggle out of either, although many spend a lot of energy trying to do so!”

    From someone who has tried to wriggle their way out of a few things, I can completely concur that it does not work. It may ‘buy you some time’ but really that is just delay, and makes you more tired. Taking responsibility is the best energy boost you can ever take.

  19. Thank you Rowena for a beautiful sharing, showing to us that a harmonious joyful married life is possible even up into old age, it is all about taking responsibility for our part and living our life in the fullness of who we truly are.

    1. Beautifully expressed Jill, and I agree living a life embracing responsibility leads us very naturally to harmony and there is no need to search for it or preach to the world, but by the quality of the way we live, we can either restore harmony or add to the disharmony.

  20. ” By taking full responsibility for our actions and our reactions we can live more harmoniously with each other and with all others: this has made our lives so much more worthwhile and so much more meaningful. ”
    This is so wonderful Rowena it gives one true hope for the future, I am a few decades away from 90 as yet.

  21. Wow Rowena what you’ve shared is that it’s never too late to say yes to living life from a harmonious place – irrespective of age.

  22. “Living harmoniously is something that so many do not understand – and probably don’t want to understand – because it means that they really have to look at how they live their lives.” To me, you hit the nail on its head Rowena, that people do not want to understand as it will take them out of the “comfortable’ lives they have chosen to live in the ignorance of the importance of living a life of expansion.

    1. This is pretty exposing and to understand where humanity is at. It also shows us that we have actively been resisting living in harmony because we have for eons chosen to live in ‘comfort’. Great reminder to ask myself, I am currently living in comfort or in harmony?

      1. Yes for sure I have been living in comfort, the comfort that is at the root of all the mismatches in services to people and the atrocities that take place on a daily basis. That is something I have to deal with in my return to soul, the soul that is naturally harmonious and will allow not even the slightest disharmony to exist.

  23. This is incredibly inspiring. Many assume that it’s too late to change and live in an authentic and loving way even when aged in their 20s and 30s. You show that there’s always an opportunity to live a truly meaningful and rich life.

  24. It can be very interesting what life can throw at us to try and disturb our connection to ourselves but holding steady and seeing it for what it is I am learning to understand and deal with the forces that are at play. Seeing life as energy being played out and making that priority is helping me to make light of situations so that I am able to observe and not absorb.

  25. Being ourselves is what we have always wanted to be, the most simple and natural way with ourselves – free. Free from what? From the pictures and ideals of this world and back in connection with ourselves.

    1. So true Adele. As children we often have an opportunity to simply be but before long we receive the message that we are not enough and then we spend our lives settling for poor substitutes for the joy of simply being ourselves. Even one day spent living the true you is a remarkable and wonderful thing that leaves a marker to come back to forever.

    2. Very true Adele, and it is very easy to be ourselves because we have access to who we are instantly. It is only complicated when we choose to run with the expectation, pictures and ideals that takes us further away form connecting to our essence. It is crazy why we would choose to disconnect from who we are when life can be so much richer, simpler and joyful when we choose to live from our essence.

  26. “our lives are expanding with new friends and new challenges all the time.” I agree, since we have become students of The Way of The Livingness our true purpose and joy of living continues to expand.

  27. How you write about your life is so normal, yet totally extraordinary, even the title “living a harmonious life in our eighties” if we were to take a world survey of all people in their 80s, many people would be in a nursing home or have dementia or are seriously ill. Your story is inspirational proof that the way we choose to live and care for ourselves and others counts and that it is possible to live a full and committed life right until the end.

    1. This is true Meg – the statistics on people with dementia are reflecting a massive increase in people with the disease long before their 80’s. Rowena is living proof that it can be another way.

      1. Absolutely – and the statistics are rising – there needs to be more studies on people like Rowena who are healthy and vital and enjoy a brilliant quality of life in their 80s and what and how they do things differently.

  28. I’ve read hundreds and hundreds of blogs written by people who have been inspired to do so by Universal Medicine and in those in which health and wellbeing is discussed, pretty much all of them talk about SLEEP. Getting this part of our lives right is 100% critical if we’re at all interested in true vitality and living in a self-honouring way.

    1. Hear, hear Victoria. Rowena and her husband are hugely inspiring. They are reversing the trend of ageing and they make this period of life look and sound amazing. When we look at what is going on in our society for people their age, it doesn’t look inspiring at all because so many elderly people are suffering from multiple symptoms, illness and disease. We often hear how awful life is when we get older but I love what Rowena shares here because it shows us that life can in fact get even more amazing as we age if we commit to deeply loving and caring for our body, and for how we live and the choices we make.

  29. To me too it is important to live a productive and loving life, no matter my age. To me that is the purpose of living life, especially when you consider that all of our life is one, it makes absolutely no sense to stop this dedication to it at any moment in time and with that choose to withdraw from life instead.

  30. Life should always have been and be about purpose to love. Being it in the age of 24years or 89years.. And that love here is not meant as all the concepts and ideals about love, but – purity that love is in how you are with yourself and so with others. The true intent. The connection to the all, meaning the essence of beingness that’s inside us – love. Seeing everyone for this, even if they don’t like it, love does not judge neither compromise. So all that love is – love is felt, love is true and an absolute knowing within everyone (even if you think you don’t know it or made to believe that you don’t know it, you still know it).

  31. Thank you Rowena this is the way of the future as we are all living longer and this being the case who in truth wants their lives being miserable, feeling old and unwell. So the way you are living is a winner for all.

  32. That is truly wonderful Rowena spoken with such authority. What a incredible marker you have reached. A story worth reading and one I would not put down. Words lived are words of wisdom providing a healing of true change and inspiration to others. It’s one of the greatest feelings to be inspired and creates a marker for myself. Wonder-full indeed.

  33. Thank you Rowena. You and your husband are true role models for ageing gracefully in the sense that you are able to approach the close of your life, not as a close at all but as an ever deepening opening into the all that is there to be felt, embraced and lived. Very inspiring.

  34. Thank you Rowena, indeed when we choose to live life with a foundation of love and purpose we understand that there is not a stop moment as evolution is always asking us to express until our last breath for the good of all.

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