Spiritual Searching – I Too was Seduced

I have learned in my recent journeys, despite 25 years of spiritual searching, that the true book of wisdom I sought was in fact inside me all along. Back then I had no awareness that there were indeed two different energies that I could choose to align with – one being truly Divine (the soul consciousness) and the other from the Astral plane (the spiritual consciousness), so from my chosen ignorance I played and cavorted heartily with that energy that took me even further away from my Soul.

It was about twenty five years ago when I was feeling very sad and hollow inside – and unbeknownst to me without true connection to myself, the true me – that I soon allowed an energy in to fill the empty space within me.

Back then I had wrung my hands in despair, feeling bereft of anything truly meaningful. I was living in a magnificent home in the country, had an amazing family and all I could possibly want on a physical level, yet there was such an emptiness and sadness I could not explain. The feeling was of worthlessness – what was the point of my existence? “There has to be something else!!” I cried to the heavens.

It started innocuously with a series of coincidences. I was suddenly aware of ‘other things’: hearing a clairvoyant on the radio, fascinating interviews on the television with people who ‘spoke’ to aliens and dead people, those who were able to ‘see’ personal details and medical conditions and those who had conversations with God.

These all caused an emotional reaction in me – “I can do that” I thought. At that time I found it to be exciting, thrilling, and invited in me an emotive response that there actually was ‘something else’ out there. Little did I know I was embarking on a spiritual journey that was going to take me even further away from the true me — my soul.

I met many folk who like me, didn’t realise that there were two different energies to choose from: the spirit which is the separated aspect of the soul, or the soul which is our true connection to God – and so came from ignorance or emptiness too. I was attending ‘lightworkers’ conferences, learning many spiritual new-age modalities, became what they call a reiki master, dabbled in most of what was on offer from the spiritual consciousness, and was sought after on a small scale to lead in guided meditations, speaking to dead relatives for bereaved folk, channelling the ‘masters’ at an across the country destination with the air-fare paid for by others, and even produced a book that I laboured over – a book of ‘loving words’, or so it seemed at the time. It was all so stimulating – I was being drawn in seductively and was hooked.

There was always another modality to try – “maybe this one has the real truth,” I thought. Even though all these modalities entranced me and excited me I had a deeper knowing that there was still ‘something else’ that I was missing. Somehow I knew I still hadn’t found that piece of the puzzle that had thus far eluded me, but at that time the illusion had me in its grip.

It’s interesting to note that I was constantly working with my mind – not ‘feeling’ from within or listening to my true antenna, my body.

As time passed there was a new/different healer in town – “you must meet this guy – he’s really cool” my fellow new-age followers would say. Interestingly, my human spirit was resistant – “Why do I need to meet this guy? After all I’ve just channelled and produced a book of loving words.”

For several weeks the resistance was strong, questioning why I ought to go and listen to him. The belief in ‘signs’ was important in the spiritual new age movement, so when a white van passed me at a round-a-bout with the one word written in huge letters diagonally up the side of the van ‘S E R G E’, it seemed this was a sign so I made an appointment to introduce myself to Serge Benhayon.

That was when my life began to turn around; slowly at first because of how far away from true love and my heart centre I had travelled in the previous 8-9 years. Something happened that day. I wasn’t sure what it was.

I made a decision to seek within a little more honestly.

I was in a mild state of bewilderment… for the first time in so long I felt something that I had not felt maybe ever before in this lifetime, and that was that I was ‘met’.

At that point I had the awareness that indeed I had been dabbling in the darker energies – not of true Light or Love at all. What was I to do – how many people had I harmed along the way?

Instead of just going “Whoops!!! I was mistaken,” I descended into remorse and regret, afraid and ashamed to face anyone. My trust in myself dissolved, my trust in all that I thought I knew collapsed – I reacted and hid for quite some time seeing only the shame of having been so gullible, so open to deceit, with the fear of being deceived again still raw.

Why do we tend to look outside of ourselves when we believe we are in such a place of desolation? Why do we believe that someone/something out there knows more than each one of us knows intrinsically deep inside? Why do we not choose to look within to where all is known in every cell of our body?

However, the sun did shine again and the trust has returned now as I write these words. Through listening to my body and the innate love that lies within, I can acknowledge that I was inspired by the love that Serge Benhayon has for all humanity, and by Universal Medicine as being the vehicle or means by which this True Love is now made manifest.

How could I have believed through all my spiritual searching that at any level I was being en-light-ened when the body grew heavier and heavier, leaving me 20 kilos overweight? It is indeed revealing when we return to our true book of loving words and the wisdom within, that book being our body; after all, it is the marker of truth for each one of us.

By Roberta, Gold Coast, Australia

821 thoughts on “Spiritual Searching – I Too was Seduced

  1. We are not taught the basic fundamentals of life and this statement is the foundation to set all the others upon
    “…that there were indeed two different energies that I could choose to align with – one being truly Divine (the soul consciousness) and the other from the Astral plane (the spiritual consciousness)”
    And as you correctly say Roberta
    “…from my chosen ignorance I played and cavorted heartily with that energy that took me even further away from my Soul.”
    We all do this in our chosen ignorance, We are much grander than we are currently choosing to be because we like the life we have made for ourselves, otherwise we would change it and we haven’t for thousands of years.

  2. The spiritual path tells you that you are special, an anointed one, and that’s what our spirit wants to hear. I agree – it is a seduction that many have fallen for.

  3. Great sharing Roberta, and yes like you thank God for the truly inspirational teachings and presentations by serge Benhayon, they have been monumentally life changing.

  4. The glamour of the spiritual world can be so strong. Many people are aware that life is much more than the physical flesh we show ourselves in, so they open up to the possibility that we have a spirit – as is the common understanding of the being that resides within. So what happens is that if we are not truly looking for the answer, we get seduced by the majestic “coincidences” that can happen – a feather falling from the sky at complete random, the right word appears on a billboard, or a car passing by. We are more aware of our emotions, other people’s emotions and so on. The spiritual world is full of things that bring relief and make us feel blissful – a trap that can keep us locked in a level of awareness that may be a tiny bit stronger than people who may not be interested in the spiritual world, but at a greater distance from our soul – true and real being we want to get to know.

  5. We get seduced because there is something in the seduction that we like, something strokes our sides and we like it, we like the idea or the concept of something. So when we find ourselves in the turmoil of it all, it is worth examining if there was any aspect of it all that we enjoyed.

  6. We can do many things thinking we are on the right track, that’s why having people who live with integrity is so important. Because when we see one of these people we get a reality check and an opportunity to consider whether what we are doing is really okay or not.

  7. As a teenager I was seduced by anything that was more than the mundane, depressed state of those I saw around me and myself. The idea of astral travelling was wow! I look back and am so appreciating I didn’t go for this.

    I had the opportunity recently to revisit a lot of what I ran away from as a teenager and I’m finding the waters tricky, but guidable when I choose my Soul at the helm.

  8. Thank you Roberta, I always appreciate reading this, there is so little written about the spiritual New Age and the realities of spirit and soul, and where the New Age energy is truly sourced from. The truth of any one thing is always in the Livingness and the outcome, how do we truly feel and does it bring about a vital and healthy body? Do we feel joyful and loving, or is it bliss? Are we committed to life or checked out? For many people the New Age delivers something that feels better than how they felt prior but it doesn’t mean it’s the energetic truth, having soulful people in the world reflecting the soul’s way in human life is so vital because it provides a new marker to what’s possible and exposes what is not true.

  9. ‘I reacted and hid for quite some time seeing only the shame of having been so gullible, so open to deceit, with the fear of being deceived again still raw.’ We can be so hard on ourselves – I have felt this too but once we can really feel what the truth is there is no going back. Learning to bring in some allowing and understanding of ourselves with the new awareness is really important if we are to keep learning and growing.

  10. The spirit will have us searching high and low for the answer to all its woes while never revealing itself to be the architect of them. Meanwhile the Soul awaits the spirit’s return to the body of love it/we first separated from, never once imposing or demanding anything of us.

  11. Being seduced by the world and all that is out there is an amazing distraction to our own truth, love and connection to God within us and our inner heart.The communication through our body speaks from our inner stillness within.

  12. It is a great reminder that when we feel empty and sad in an overwhelming way with no visible reason in physical life, it is about going deeper within ourselves, and not about going out to find something to fill it because that will never be sustainable.

  13. When I was young I was hooked on anything and anybody who presented there was more to life than the drudgery I saw around me in the 9-5 eat, sleep, work, repeat. I loved the excitement and buzz of the spirit and the astral plane in the alternative lifestyle. But then I couldn’t ignore it had a very dark,seedy side to it, and now I’m admitting the astral plane has its hand in nearly every pie on earth unless what is there is from the Divine.

    So every aspect of life, the spiritual new age and the checked out drudgery, is all part of this underbelly of complete lovelessness that robs our energy to keep it going. And I keep feeding it whenever I get emotional or react or check out to TV or numb with food. But it’s great to realise the extent to which the world is run by this scheme to keep the astral plane going, and the Divine out. Knowing this, at least then, I have a choice as to what I want to align to.

  14. It’s interesting that we are so adament to to find the answers we seek outside us – in books, quotes, or other people even. And I like your suggestion that there is actually a book inside us of everything we need to know that can be our primary source of information about who we are and how to be in the world.

    1. If we read a passage in a book or hear someone speak and it is of the absolute truth, then this truth will be felt within the body and never ever coming from outside it.

  15. You make such a great point here about being seduced, this is such a great word because it describes how one is when they are not seeing the whole of what is going on, until afterwards when we realise that we have in fact been duped. Which goes to show the manipulations and coercions of some of the new age spiritual practises, that promise so much yet deliver nought.

  16. You mention the shame of realising we have been hoodwinked for so long. That makes so much sense and shame can be so debilitating, but I am realising we are the only ones who can take the step forward to choose not to be hoodwinked again. It is through our movement and our commitment and dedication to that movement that makes the difference in our awareness. We may get hoodwinked again, but it won’t be for long because the honesty of the body will let us know.

  17. There is such despair in not knowing who we are and in that despair we are open to manipulation and to being hooked to find an answer. They sound true, they sound like they make sense, but there is always a hook. It was only when I felt from my body the difference between the spirit and the soul that I could feel the distinct difference.

  18. The clarity and understanding with which Serge Benhayon presents on energy and the different sources of energy available made and still makes so much sense to me, it truly resonated in a way no other presenter that I’d met had.

  19. Reading this reminded me of how excited I was by people I met who spoke about spiritual stuff – at last I wasn’t alone in knowing there was more than the 9-5 drudgery I saw in people each day. But then I noticed how these people I met weren’t all present and this unnerved me. I also felt a deep despair that I would never connect to the more I knew had to exist because nothing made sense or had meaning. Meeting Serge Benhayon I knew then that what he presented was the real deal. No airy fairy, just true integrity. Now it’s about me living from the truth I know within in all aspects of my daily life – so I can do the 9-5 but that it is never a drag or a chore. Still much to work on but the purpose and meaning is definitely there!

  20. I have noticed that in many of the spiritual offerings around today, there is a notion being offered that the truth one seeks is inside of you, and many teachings, books and courses will offer to connect you with that place. So, it is in our current times that one must be especially astutely aware and discerning for what quality those teachings are in, and with what quality the person is presenting them in. Because only by this factor – astute discernment – are we actually able to see what is going to deliver us to the doors of our inner-heart and by contrast, what will only lead us further and further away from it – despite their shiny promises.

  21. Our body is indeed our true book of wisdom. Like you, Roberta, I look back at how I was before meeting Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and The Way of The Livingness, and wonder how I could have ever believed I was on the ‘right path’ when my body was increasingly becoming more over-weight and unhealthy? Yet at the same time I can, as the apparent ‘healing changes’ I was achieving for others with kinesiology, was so seductive that I chose to be blind and in denial as to what was happening to my body and personal way of lifestyle. It was through Serge Benhayon’s loving presentation of Truth and my willingness that I was able to see the complete contradiction in my life and the illusion under which I was living.

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