As a small child I was brought up by a Catholic mum and a Church of England dad; I was sent to Catholic boarding school when I was seven where there was a beautiful chapel with candles and incense and I would spend many hours in there singing in the choir, attending services, praying or simply enjoying the sensory experience.
I grew up believing that God was separate from us. We were taught that he was a giant being who created us, who sat on a big throne in Heaven and judged and punished us. I grew up with ideals and beliefs that said that I must be ‘good’, otherwise I would go straight to Hell when I died… or if I wasn’t completely bad a not-quite-so-hellish place called Purgatory. So I tried to be good and when I failed I’d go to confession and say the Hail Marys that would absolve me from my sins and let me start again.
My early years were all about being good, trying to do better and being totally anxious about getting things right and feeling awfully guilty if I upset anyone or broke something. I always did as I was told and would always follow the rules, was always polite and would apologise profusely whenever I did anything wrong.
This became a way of life throughout adulthood as well, constantly anxious, always trying to be good and fearful of ‘getting it wrong’. I made plenty of mistakes and felt ashamed or I’d get angry with everything and rebel and then feel even worse afterwards. I think I was quite angry as a child but was never allowed to express that openly, it would come out in snide, sneaky ways – or as an adult by being very hard on myself and very critical of others.
At boarding school we were taught that God was outside of us, but I always felt that he was my friend and would chat or pray to him a lot. It helped me to feel less lonely. When I left school and went to university I began to question God and decided he didn’t exist. Through most of my adult life I continued to deny God and followed all sorts of scientific theories and new age ideas as to our origins, but none of it felt true.
In 2005 I met Serge Benhayon; he talked about God in a matter-of-fact way and everything he said made sense. It felt true and I had a sense of feeling settled, like I was coming home. I felt challenged at the same time because I thought I had finished with God and religion.
I found it really hard to accept that this God, whom I’d denied for over 40 years, was not only very real but a very accessible reality and such that we are not separate from him, we are all INSIDE God, and God is inside us equally, no matter who we are or what we do. There are no special ‘chosen ones’, there is no such place as Hell, God does not judge, we are all divine but just not expressing our divinity in its fullness.
I was blown away by what felt like truth but I still resisted. I felt embarrassed to tell my friends I was in a religion and that yes, God really does exist. I was anxious about what other people would think of me, that they’d think I was weird or stupid. I couldn’t feel God in my body so if they questioned me I couldn’t truly explain as clearly as Serge Benhayon had done.
I couldn’t feel God because I had an image of what I thought God would feel like, but as I make changes to my way of living that help me to develop my awareness, I can feel more and more in my body and I see and feel God at every turn.
I see God when butterflies dance and bees buzz busily among the flowers.
I hear God in every bird that sings its clear song with its whole body.
I see God in the eyes of young children and babies who are simply being themselves.
I feel God in the warmth of the sun.
I hear God when we sing together in beautiful harmonies.
I feel God in the warmth of eye contact and a true smile exchanged with another.
I smell God in the heart of a beautiful rose.
I taste God in fresh food lovingly cooked.
I hear God in a voice spoken from a body that is expressing in full with true energetic truth.
Most of all, now I can say that I can feel God within me: when I allow myself to be still and as I go about my daily life gently there is a feeling of deep inner joy, and a feeling of harmony. I am learning to open myself up to seeing and feeling God equally in others too, to see that we are all divine equal beings and to not judge anyone, for we are not separate – we are all a one humanity within the body of God.
By Carmel Reid, Somerset, UK
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The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Life is not about proving yourself to avoid being punished afterwards. It is about evolving and raising your vibration. No amount of doing good will ever equal vibration.
When I feel angry or sad, it is that I know we all have God-like qualities such as honesty, not holding back, equality, love etc, but I chose to ignore them. So to come back to feeling godly I just change my movements, no matter how unfamiliar and abrupt at times, it may feel.
This is something I am only just beginning to appreciate, that being good comes with always trying to get it right, and that there is a huge difference when we go for what is TRUE. It becomes a whole body feeling and not just a mind-based mental way of thinking.
Being good is a huge ideal I also grew up with, even though I wasn’t raised with one of the current religions my parents had but the ideals and beliefs came anyway through their way of living. Being good is a hard one to crack as it seems so good! But it caused a lot of anxiety of having to do the right thing, overthinking every time I needed to make a choice and almost constantly I felt like I was never making the right or good choice. It wasn’t until I realised that being ‘good’ is not always the same as being true, that I started to make changes in these situations, and brought it back more to how it felt in my body, and if it was simple rather than complicated which often comes with trying to be good.
Our connection with God is a very personal thing, even though it applies to all of us, there is a Truth that is the same for everyone. The difference comes with what we believe and what we allow ourselves to feel. Beliefs can be different, creating all sorts of images of what God looks like, but what we can feel deep inside is the presence and that is the same for everyone, it is only our awareness that is not.
God is Everywhere in Everything and we are living with God even when we deny God. This is how I feel about it now that I have known the quality of stillness within that is possible and I have sensed the potential of living from this place.
Carmel as I read this blog, it bought back certain memories of my upbringing, Hinduism and there was always this good and bad/evil battle. Everything we did revolved around this including the many days a year we couldn’t eat certain foods because it was such and such day/month or it was for such and such occasion. Sometimes it was that strict I recalled my sibling losing it with me when I ate meat during a particular month I wasn’t suppose to, I was suppose to be totally vegan. I did wonder why I wanted to do the opposite every time someone asked me to do a certain thing because the priest or a religious book said so – it almost felt like I went against the imposition pressure and I came across as being the bad person for not conforming.
Over the years I realised our lives were no different when we followed these rituals, our lives were no more enriched, and God didn’t suddenly appear confirming we had been good.
The body has that inner ding, that inner knowing that something doesn’t feel the truth, it communicates that this isn’t ‘right’, its actually communicating that this is a lie separating us from God.
As I understand it God can only be felt through the body and I was taught about God through my mind. I can repeat words people have said about God but I still don’t feel the absolute authority in my body. I can accept everything Serge Benhayon presents because he has that authority and we can feel it in his presence but here is a part within many of us that is still resisting God, divinity, and sacredness.
It makes sense that I can’t feel God in the way others express they do because I have this image of who and what ‘he’ is. As long as I have this held belief of what I’ve been told then there is no way I can allow the possibility of what god really means. Super interesting.
It really does me make me question the impact ideals and beliefs have on us in our lives and the fact that we chose and still can choose to align to them and other behaviours, investments, pictures, etc to simply keep us away from living who we truly are, a son of God. I can totally relate to living in anxiousness about getting things right. The pressure I have put myself under has felt overwhelming at times all because of taking on something that was not true. I am a son of God first and no matter what happens I am always a son of God first and foremost.
“I met Serge Benhayon; he talked about God in a matter-of-fact way and everything he said made sense.” Serge Benhayon offers a way to be at one with God.
Beautifully expressed Carmel, I too have had a similar experience in the Catholic Church, knowing now the truth that God lives within each and everyone of us and that we are held in love in the body of God as divine sons of God. I am amazed at the lies that we have been feed by false religion that keeps us separated from the God they propose to up hold.
It’s one of the most glorious feelings I embrace – feeling how to put into words what I know about our dear friend God. I very much enjoyed how Carmel expressed about God – “There are no special ‘chosen ones’, there is no such place as Hell, God does not judge, we are all divine but just not expressing our divinity in its fullness.” AND
” .. was not only very real but a very accessible reality and such that we are not separate from him, we are all INSIDE God, and God is inside us equally, no matter who we are or what we do.” Hear hear!!
If only as children we were offered that God is available to us through our inner connection, through knowing ourselves we know God. What a different place the world would be.
Having been also brought up in the Catholic religion Carmel, I can totally relate to what you share, the God that the Catholic religion speaks of is so far from the truth of God, one wonders why so many still fall for these false ideals and beliefs.
How in the world does a person who goes to a boarding confessional school that is seemingly about God all the time end up denying Him? Is this telling us something about the fact that these confessional boarding schools are not truly religious? Imagine going through a true religious boarding school (if something like this makes sense which I doubt). Would anyone deny God? My answer: no way.
Any school that is dominated by the Catholic religion risks damaging its pupils and as a friend said today, parents need to be a big part of children’s education so that it is not all left to schools
How very shocking it is that the indoctrinations of a religion can have such a traumatic effect on a child; and you are just one of millions who probably have experienced the same. The programming feels so intense that I can see why it would take some time to release yourself from its grip; which many others may never be able, or want, to do.
This revealing blog shows how often couples have children in an irresponsible way based on some ideal and belief that they need to have kids to have a successful marriage or something similar. Unfortunately the result is a poor relationship with their child as if they didn’t really want kids in the first place and they end up being sent off to school somewhere so they can continue with their lives unimpeded. So it’s very important for us all to not only consider why we truly feel to have children, but to also truly honor and support them when we do have them in the most responsible way by accepting them for who they are without having to prove themselves to others.
Knowing God as is shared here is so very simple. Which begs the question to be asked. Why have we as a humanity made God out to be a mystery? When the only mystery is how complicated we have allowed our relationship with religion to be, when in truth God is innately inside each of us and all around us.
Yes, Leigh, it’s the complications we create that stop us from being more aware of God
I love to read this blog Carmel and how very simple and clear you are when you share how you experience God in all the little ways. God is indeed everywhere, and all we have to do is open ourselves to receive his love and we do that by accepting that God lives within, by accepting that we are all divine in our essence.
Thank you Carmel for reminding me that God is all around in the magic that nature shows to us, I have been missing this by not doing my walking each day, allowing the cares in life to overload me. So off I go for my walk, taking this line with me “Most of all, now I can say that I can feel God within me: when I allow myself to be still and as I go about my daily life gently there is a feeling of deep inner joy, and a feeling of harmony.”
I can relate to it being very difficult to accept God as something so accessible and there is no chosen ones – holding onto an image of a god that is mightier than thou and inaccessible and judging allows us to remain irresponsible.
This is true, the image of a fierce and all-powerful God is deeply ingrained in many of us and feeling ourselves equal to God can be quite a challenge because we run away from our own true power
I have at times found it hard to connect to “God” but this line just makes sense with who god is and what he means “I see God when butterflies dance and bees buzz busily among the flowers.” Thank you for the simplicity and joy you express with this blog.
the good and polite manner we have been sold is a far way away from who we truly are, for if we are already from God and are the Sons of God why would we need to be educated on how to be nice?
Because ‘nice’ has an energy attached to it that is not at all nice, in fact it is harming and that is a deliberate ploy to stop us from being the Sons of God that we truly are.
I too was raised in a formal religion and it taught me to have a formal relationship with God, that he was someone who was above and separate to me that I felt lesser than. When I hear Serge Benhayon speak of God every person is an absolute equal to God and there is no looking down, measuring or judging that comes from God just a holding of love.
This equality with God is a big leap for us to connect with when we have been brought up in a way that keeps us small, but deep in our bones we can all feel the truth of what Serge Benhayon is presenting.
God is inside of us, equally so. I have no doubt about that as I’ve felt that both in me and in others. The weird thing is how little we let ourselves feel that, and so we lock him away and don’t develop the most intimate one of all. Our relationship with our Soul.
That is the point, Simon, we don’t let ourselves feel that inner connection, it is as if our whole world is structured on everything outside of ourselves and the inner world is not there, which is crazy, because that amazing source of wisdom is with us 24/7 wherever we are and whatever we are doing.
I locked God away for many years believing he had abandoned me and that I did not deserve this love. But I cut myself off. Since attending Universal Medicine, and the many courses and presentations, I have cleared and healed so many false beliefs that I took on, that today I am open to fostering and developing that intimate relationship with my Soul.
Teaching children about sins and needing to be absolved for living and breathing on this earth is a sure way of setting them up to feel very unworthy of being who they are and being an equal Son of God. This to me is a huge control tactic and one of many throughout society to control the connection we have within ourselves and with God.
Yes, Rachael, I agree, low self worth is fostered as a way of keeping us small and disempowered.
“I smell God in the heart of a beautiful rose.” Simply true-exquisite
Yes Tamara, and the feeling of anxiousness within us is so insidiously paradoxical to what we truly could be feeling of our innate divinity.
“I found it really hard to accept that this God, whom I’d denied for over 40 years, was not only very real but a very accessible reality and such that we are not separate from him, we are all INSIDE God, and God is inside us equally, no matter who we are or what we do.” This is a very beautiful way to feel God and to ponder how we are within God. It feels truly amazing.
When we view God as separate from us it allows our emotions to enter the picture and confirm that disconnection even further.
‘My early years were all about being good, trying to do better and being totally anxious about getting things right and feeling awfully guilty if I upset anyone or broke something.’ I can relate to this Carmel, I would go so far that when possible I would cover up my mistakes or I would be totally dishonest, pretending I did not know anything about what had happened. This became a pattern of behaviour that I have let go of only some years ago since being a Student of The Way of The Livingness, I felt how my body suffered from this attitude around mistakes and how mistakes are there for us to grow and learn and to make other choices next time and never about what is right or wrong. God will never judge us and no need for forgiveness either.
Forgiveness is an interesting phenomenon – there is an attitude of being magnanimous when we say that we forgive someone – I wonder what the truth is. For me if we understand the behaviour, and that it is always impulsed by an energy, if we can connect with the essence of the person, we can see that the behaviour is not who they are, therefore there is no need for ‘forgiveness’ and plenty of room for understanding.
Religion is a personal thing – for some it is like a social club they can belong to, going to their place of worship on a particular day of the week, or it can be based around festivals and celebrations with particular foods, and for some the opposite, fasting from dawn to dusk, or giving up the comforts of life for a period of weeks. It does beg the question; ‘Where is God in all of this?’
How is it that the closest some people think they are from God, the farther they really are? How is it that we humans have bought into a way of feeling religious that is hardly truly religious and a way of feeling God that does not have a true feeling of Him? What is this state of things telling us?
Thank you Carmel, it reminded me of how we are brought up with a vision of what we believe God to look like, and yet God is all around us invisible in many ways, and yet at the same time very visible too, just not how we first thought.
We are so limited in our beliefs of what God is about, with the solid image of the bearded man on the throne up in the clouds, we live unaware of the particles in space that is held in between all the objects we see. When we vibrate in the same way with everything then there is harmony. If we see everything as just hard objects then we live with boundaries. With God there are no boundaries, all is one, we are all one.
Beautifully expressed, Carmel.
I used to believe God as a picture too and I even encouraged my siblings to believe in him. Later on I felt this image of God did not feel true, and what it exposed was my deep need of dependency of a certain image to see me through difficult times, and I quit believing in God as I could feel Him inside of me, and that had nothing to do with what I believed in. It took a bit of rebellion but a very strong sense of trust with myself to let go of this dependency, but it is very worth it to return to what is truth.
When l let go of conditioned beliefs around God and my own pictures, and feel him in some of those moments that you describe, tears come to my eyes at the absolute beauty and grace that is God.
Waking up and walking out in the world every day, knowing I am a Son of God meeting everyone else who is also a Son of God. No matter what happens we are all the Sons of God. When there is a moment we forget, we come back to remind each other that we are simply the Sons of God. There is never any judgement that anyone is anything less or more. In any country, any place, any one person who knows he is a Son of God can start living this truth and let truth be felt within each and everyone of us.
We think we can decide things with our minds and then they are that way and we simply need to act accordingly. But we fool ourselves with that, because in the end it is just an act and not who we are. We can decide to not be a son of God and deny the brotherhood of us all and live a life of individuality and separation but our natural pull of being one will always impulse us forth no matter how hard we try.
Such a beautiful and honest sharing Carmel, and I can relate very much to your experiences with religion. After growing up in the Catholic religion I was turned off religion of any sort and eventually turned my back on God as well. Being introduced to The Way of The Livingness I was a little cautious at first because it was a religion and my experience of Catholicism had not been a very pleasant one, but also knowing I missed my connection to God and divinity. Through The Way of The Livingness I was able to heal any old hurts and develop a loving connection with God and myself again, I can now say I am deeply religious person because of the love and support of this true religion.
You have expressed so beautifully what true religion means to me. A way of living that honors the truth that within we are all equally the Sons of God, knowing also that we are all held in God’s love through all that we do and all that we meet. A way that supports us to learn to live from our hearts, in connection to our Soul so that through the way we move we magnify God’s love bringing Heaven to earth. This is our Divine way, this is The Way of The Livingness.
I love your list of all the things in life you see or feel or smell God in, you’ve inspired me to see where I see God tomorrow, what a super beautiful relationship to explore.
Just so beautiful to read Carmel I had a childhood similar to you in the Catholic Church, and I too have come to know the truth, and now feel God more and more within me and all around as I go about my day to day life, staying connected to my inner heart.
I gained a huge amount from reading your blog Carmel – thank you for sharing.
I too was burnt by God, well not by God but by people speaking to me constantly about God when they themselves didn’t know what they were saying. When I tried to understand God from the outside and in human form nothing made sense. I remember being told at school and when I was young and old about God and again none of it made sense and only created more questions. Who is God and what is he all about? He is found in no place but every place, he is not one thing but many things, he is not only me but you also. In other words God is everything, everywhere all the time. We need to look beyond our current form and open up to more of what is going on around us. If we bring it down to just being about me, then you will find it hard to see God. You may see a version of a God but it won’t be God because God is living, a living way that isn’t meant to be understood so you own it. The understanding comes from the space, from the awareness of how huge we are and how huge God is. We keep trying to fit everything into an earth or human understanding when so so much in our past, present and future is not from that. To get to God we need to open up to everything that we see, don’t just see a bird watch it and see the flock and know that how they fly isn’t by chance or more so by GPS they fly connected and when we are connected to that same source we can see God in everything.
This is beautiful Carmel, getting to know a God in the little moments like when you wake up and feel really blessed, or hearing a bird singing, or knowing who you are and where that comes from… it’s difficult to put words to such magic, but wow it feels out-of-this-world-amazing.
I have learnt much about God through the works of Universal Medicine – something which I am eternally grateful for.
Truth > Good in every situation. Good may please everyone, but what is being allowed to run riot under the rug is not a pleasant sight. Truth will stand in absoluteness and provide an opportunity for all to evolve.
Life is structured from left to righ, up to down to scare us, to provoke an enormous anxiety that awakens in us the need to perform all the time in the name of reducing the uncertainty of the future. The Catholic Church is a major pillar of this created reality. It has set forth amazing tools for domination by means of a narrative of God, a missrepresentation of our possible futures (hence of our options/choices) and an understandng of religion that are not true.
“I couldn’t feel God because I had an image of what I thought God would feel like, but as I make changes to my way of living that help me to develop my awareness, I can feel more and more in my body and I see and feel God at every turn.” Pictures, images, expectations, ideals and beliefs – all a set-up to prevent us form feeling and seeing truth.
Well said Carmel – we keep from expressing our divinity way too much, maybe out of reluctance of what others might say but I think we all want to express freely the love we have within us and are from.
It is sad to read that the Catholic church made you question God and to decide that he didn’t exist. While religions should be geared to bring us towards God, this shows to me that the institutionalized religions are not based on the truth that we are all connected with, but instead provide us with only some snippets of truth and for the rest with human interpretation of the Ancient Wisdom we all are connected to and belong to.
I agree Nico, it’s sad that mainstream religion actually turns people AWAY from God, rather than reconnecting them to the majesty and grandness of what’s on offer here.
I recently had a conversation in which I was challenged as to why I said I don’t feel God in my body. So I reflected and realised that when Serge Benhayon presents in the way he does and talks about God in such a matter of fact way, I can feel with every cell in my body that what he presents is Truth. It makes sense, it feels right. Where I fall down in saying that I can’t present the same truth to others, it is because my mind is wanting to find words to explain God. I know now that the way I can present God is from my body, through my movements, accepting the delicate women I am, appreciating my sacredness and divine design. That doesn’t need words.
My experience is that the doubt works as really good stoppers of the divinity that is within us all ready to be expressed so all that is needed is to say yes to the fact that we are divine and then just let it out, trusting that is will be there because it is.
Beautifully expressed Carmel, the way we move and express through life is far more powerful than any words we could say.
When you speak of the anxiousness you felt as a child and continued into adulthood I can relate, and it highlights for me how we can so easily put ourselves under stress and pressure filling a picture or image and forgetting ‘we are all divine but just not expressing our divinity in its fullness’ – and when we see it in this way it’s no longer about fixing us but that we have it all in us and it’s to learn to live so we express it.
Who or what gives me the right to judge another even if they are behaving inappropriately. By all means call it out lovingly but I am learning that there is no right or wrong although this was very much instilled in me when I was young as I went to chapel regularly. I could be quite forceful at times, seeing everything black and white and it was delivered with such arrogance. How could this be love?
God is God, there can only be one, but the religions of the world all seem to have a different interpretation of who or what God is, hence the confusion everywhere, it’s a clever set up to make sure we can’t know. I’m still not fully clear, but I know for sure that the more I feel inside me, the more I get to know my body from the inside, the more I can appreciate just how amazing it is, and I know there is more to come, that the knowledge of God will come from within me, not from any outside teaching. I can hear words of wisdom that make sense and can feel that they are or are not true, but until I actually allow myself to feel God within my body, there will always be uncertainty.
The feeling of unworthiness is immense – in a recent visit as a guest speaker to my old Catholic School prize giving ceremony, I sat through the mass out of curiosity and heard the words ‘lord, I am unworthy’ spoken several times as part of the mass, which was followed by a talk from the headmistress who expressed how amazing the girls were and what they’d achieved. She was clearly appreciating them all. Then I spoke and did the same. So there’s this amazing school, set in beautiful grounds in Surrey, full of beautiful girls from all over the world, who the teachers are trying to build up but it appears to me the Church is battering them back down again. It doesn’t make sense.
Thank you Carmel for your blog, one that I can so relate to in your early life, as I grew up as a Catholic with all the fear of being bad and getting it wrong I am still clearing layers of this indoctrination, and more recently the feeling of unworthiness that is feed to us by calling us sinful. No wonder anxiety is in our bodies. I thank God for Serge Benhayon and the truth he brings, I too had the feeling of coming home when I first heard him present.
Often you don’t realise you’ve been living in a certain tension/anxiety until someone else has come out of it and is then able to use it as a marker from which to grow from. Reading your experience about growing up in constant anxiety about being good and getting things wrong resonates with me and no doubt the majority of the world. Coming to a place of understanding that we are not in fact being judged from above, relieves that tension and allows us to get on with our purpose.
Learning that God doesn’t judge, that he simply loves us is huge. We simply experience back everything we have done, there is no Hell to go to, only the discomfort of our own feelings as we realise the consequences of what we have done or not done. We in turn need to let go of judging ourselves, just understand and appreciate where we are at and the choices we can make from now on.
Beautiful Carmel, I agree. Knowing that God loves me and will always love me no matter how many mistakes I make is huge. I am getting there after many years of being hard and judgemental on myself and what is supporting me to accept this truth in full is that none of us is perfect… it is impossible no matter how hard we may try and if I choose to accept and embrace every mistake I make along the way lovingly this can but only support my growth in a loving way.
Our Gods are Universal and the same. However, I am unique in this world and so my relationship is subtly different, as is what I bring to this world to express.
Very cool Simon. Expressed with such authority!
What you’ve shared here Carmel, about the role of Catholicism in leaving us fearful of ‘doing wrong’ and ever anxious about ‘getting things right’ is actually huge. Whether we were raised catholic or not, it is an influence of this church that extensively permeates our society, all founded in the false notion of there being a punishing God.
I was baptised catholic and as far as indoctrination and education were concerned, that was really about ‘it’. Apparently I made a very high pitched scream throughout the entire baptism… (clearly wasn’t happy about it) And yet, the ‘being the good girl’, ‘doing it right’/perfectionism is something I continue to shed in my life – and thankfully so. Returning to all that true religion and a religious way of living is and can be, through The Way of The Livingness, supports these constructs to loosen their hold, as they cannot remain in the power of God’s Love, when it is once again – in its truth – embraced in one’s being and thus one’s life. We have so much to heal societally in this regard, it is truly awesome that you have written this blog and shared your experience Carmel, thank-you.
One thing that was instilled into us was being ‘nice’ and I am only just beginning to discover how awful that actually is – the energy of needing people to like me, of needing people around me to be happy – it is suffocating – if people have lessons to learn about relationships, it’s not for me to fix them, but to let them feel it for themselves and learn from their own experiences.
What a tragedy that this simple truth, as you’ve expressed Carmel, has been, by and large, ripped away from us: “…we are all a one humanity within the body of God.”
And what absolute Joy, to return…
If I had but one thing to bring my focus to each day, this would be it – for in knowing this truth, our lives are indelibly changed, away from the stupefaction of imposed separation, and back to the rich fullness of His Love in which we are and have always been, regardless, held.
Doug I am drawn to your words:’love holds us accountable until we re-harmonise whatever it was that we did to disturb the harmony of the Universe and what is more love gives us a limitless number of opportunities to do so.’ Now that’s my kind of religion, one where we are all equally accountable, no-one is ‘special’, and if we stuff up we get limitless possibilities to experience the consequences of our choices until we make different choices. No-one punishes us – we do it to ourselves. And when we live love, we get love back.
Thank you Carmel for sharing your blog. Recently I have been pondering more deeply as to why I can feel anxiousness in my body at times for no apparent reason. I would say I have always suffered from anxiety but kept it well hidden and for most of my life I have tried my best to live up to and be a good girl. I was so afraid of making a mistake and getting things wrong whatever I did for fear I would get punished and be sent to hell. I have taken on many beliefs and ideals about God some of which I have deeply buried that are not true, that it is no wonder there has been a lot of anxiety within my body. The more honest I am with myself in calling out that which is not true, the more I am letting the beliefs and ideals about God go.
God is in connection – when we truly share our innermost selves with another in a deep intimacy that has no restriction, no holding back, then we can feel and appreciate the divinity that is within us all.
It is about the connection we choose, not the images of the mind. I feel when we let go of this god is there in everything we do, and in all that is around us as you so beautifully express.
‘My early years were all about being good, trying to do better and being totally anxious about getting things right and feeling awfully guilty if I upset anyone or broke something.’ Carmel I know this so well and the influence it had on whole my life is enormous. Only recently I started to appreciate my deep connection with God within myself and how natural this feels. It is a connection that is always there and I am building a loving relationship with myself to live a responsible life.
It seems that so often the experience of God is meted out by the outside world – the guy from this book, that church. Yet how often are we encouraged to look inside for our own relationship with God.. hopefully inspired by another who can make practical everyday sense of how they live with God.
What is interesting and for me confirms reincarnation is that even though this life I have never been to church other than for a funeral, wedding or christening, there has been a deep fear of what if there really is a hell and just because I have not ‘believed’ in the way of many institutionalized religions, that that doesn’t mean ‘heaven and hell’ won’t affect me. But we only need to look into the eyes of a young child or anyone really and see God to know there can never be such a thing as hell or a punishing God.
I am beginning to understand how easily we can confirm our connection to God through our own bodies. God is not found through academic or religious discussion, but through a simple re-connection deep within ourselves. We can feel God when we are still. We can then feel God in everyone we meet.
Carmel, your early schooling sounds like child abuse that impacted you for many years after until you met Serge Benhayon and he presented a different way to live as a student of The Way of The Livingness.
Very beautiful Carmel, you make a relationship with God feel very normal and accessible… a far cry from the way He is presented through most, if not all organised religious movements.
Through Serge Benhayon and the presentations from Universal Medicine I have found God not only to exist but he exists within us all. God is in the air that I breathe, the way that I move, God is always there if we choose to feel his presence.
A beautiful transformation and evolution to feel deeply within and all around you what you have always known to be true. Gorgeous.
Beautiful Carmel. This knowing that God is visible and alive all around us and indeed a part of us is quite colossal. My mind cannot fathom it and yet every cell of my body knows it to be true. This week I was awestruck by some spectacular sunrise and sunset action. Afterwards I found myself singing along to a song by Michael Benhayon called ‘Heaven Is In Your Eyes’ and I could feel that the reflections of God we find in each other are more spectacular than anything we can see or feel in nature.
It makes so much sense that we end up so anxious when we are taught that God is outside of us and we need to be ‘good’ to appease him. Returning to feel how we are in God and he in us feels like a beautiful homecoming with no need for anxiousness just an unfolding of the relationship we have with ourselves and others all held in the love of God and the oneness of humanity.
My son wanted to say ‘ I loved how you wrote your story, you must of put a lot of effort in it, I think you should write some more stories’
I love how honest you were about being embarrassed about God and Religion, I have felt these same feeling before. The magic that is in nature and inside of us is who God really is, it was very touching to hear how far you have come from denying Gods existence to embracing all that he offers.
I’ve realised too how much I let myself be ruled by pictures and ideals of how I thought I should be, what it is to ‘be good’ and many others! Just being introduced to the understanding that we can hold pictures about how we think life should be is very freeing, giving me the opportunity to open up to what actually feels true from my essence and not just a mental construct.
Your words ‘When I left school and went to university I began to question God and decided he didn’t exist.’ I too thought that God didn’t exist, because how could God let humanity treat each other the way they do.
When I feel God I feel the deep desire to deeply love, honour a respect myself and others, because God is within and throughout all of us. It’s impossible to worship God as something outside of me and live with any form of disregard when truly feeling God.
Thank you Carmel for you beautiful sharing. I too came from the generation of it’s not OK to get angry ,so I held it all in and found this something that caused a lot of suffering until I started to understand this was not the way.
By the time I was fortunate enough to connect to Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon and his Presentations I could understand more clearly that I had choices and responsibilities concerning my life and my body’s health and well being were connected to these decisions.
There is an order and design we belong to, and I can feel how this was the very thing my waywardness has fought against for eons trying to prove its point, that it mattered by its own right. And it is such a beautiful, stilling sense of home coming when I can appreciate this no longer happens as much and/or intensely as before – and this is a reimprinting of a relationship, a new religion.
Isn’t it bizarre how there can be so many different ways of understanding our relationship with God… from this being that is separate to no God at all, to one that is in everything and very personable. It makes me wonder just how much we are actually feeling this for ourselves (which if we were honest would create a common experience) vs what we are taught or react against (which can be quite literally anything!).
The belief that God from his big throne created us only to judge and punish us and at the end of our life if we aren’t or weren’t good enough we are then sent to another place for all eternity to learn from ‘our sins’ does not make sense to me. Wouldn’t it be more sensible to consider that in our everyday life we are held by the grace of God to do all that learning equally through our qualities and our imperfections here on earth together with everyone else to support all of our inevitable ascension?
Thank you Carmel, your blog has touched me deeply, so deeply that I have found myself in tears. I have had a similar past experience to you with the catholic church and ‘the trying to be good’. I loved your description of how you now see and feel God and can really relate as I also can feel God in all that is around me . . . whether it be In the sunrise on the way to work or in the eyes of the a stranger I meet in the supermarket. Since being introduced to The Way of the Livingness life has become more about being myself and bringing my self in full to everything I do, and not about ‘the right and wrong’ that was instilled in me from past dogmas
Gorgeous Carmel, I never really could connect to the word God because of all the false ideas and beliefs that I saw attached to it but always felt there was a presence, something more. Not outside of ourselves but where then? Through Universal Medicine I got to connect back to myself within and the closer I have gotten to the essence of me, the closer I have gotten to God. I now have no problem with this name as I know the truth of who he is.
I agree Carmel, we have been sold a lie about God from various Religions, although I always knew that God was all-loving so it was quite confusing to not have that reflected anywhere in the Catholic Religion. What a beautiful discovery to find The Way of the Livingness, a Religion where you can feel the truth and love of God in every way.
I love the ways that we can hear, see, taste, smell and feel God in everyday life – it is such a reminder that God is not some man with a white beard in the sky but that this divinity is around and within us all the time.
I agree, Angela, letting go of the image of God has been quite a journey for many of us – the image instilled in us by religion has been very effective in keeping us away from the Truth about God.
Carmel, I really enjoyed reading this blog as there has been a similar struggle within myself around who and what God is after a childhood of being brought up in a traditional Catholic family. It’s been a slow awakening again in recent years. The thing that stopped me turning away completely when I first heard Serge Benhayon talk about God and religion being applicable for us all, was due to the undeniable fact that I could sense a greater being than myself and could feel the magic of God in everyday occurrences. I was also starting to get glimpses of my own glory. There was no other way to explain it. I still have a way to go to fully claiming myself as a part of God, but I am certainly no longer denying his existence and I know the rest will happen as I continue to work on my self acceptance and awareness.
I agree, the way Serge Benhayon presented about God was inspiring – it made sense and therefore I didn’t deny it completely, but my body is still resisting – or rather, my mind is – I know my body can feel the Truth about God.
It seems so crazy that we have separated ourselves into different groups of anything when we are one humanity living within the one body of God. Beautiful Carmel.
It is almost is if there was a deliberate plan to keep us from truly knowing God, because it has certainly been effective in keeping us fighting each other in the name of religion or culture or colour or tribe.
Growing up and becoming more and more separated from our natural connection shows just how way off our religious and general education system is in terms of what it teaches us about God.
Reading this Carmel has made me suspect that attending Sunday School and church is where I got my self-berating and being so hard on myself from – always trying to do the right thing and never being good enough – that there was something inherently wrong with me and that if I did anything wrong I should be punished. I’ve always felt God with me but it’s only since finding Universal Medicine have I truly come to understand that he doesn’t judge and that we are all loved for who we are and not for what we do.
Self berating and being hard on oneself is insidious in many of us and sometimes feels impossible to get past, but a little appreciation each day helps. The image we are fed of a judgemental God is so far from the actual truth it feels like a deliberate plot to keep us down.
I agree Carmel – appreciation is key to being rid of this behaviour – clocking in each moment the little things we appreciate about ourselves and those around us. And yes, it does feel like a manipulative form of control.
Yes deborahmckay I too have always felt God with me but it was when I met Serge Behayon and Universal Medicine where I was confirmed in my body that God was within me and all around me that I knew I had found truth. No amount of going to Sunday school and then later attending chapel had supported me in this knowing.
So beautiful to read Carmel, “we are all a one humanity within the body of God.”
I love, what you have shared here about your relationship with God finally becoming your relationship with yourself, with everyone and everything. Beautifully said: “we are all divine equal beings and to not judge anyone, for we are not separate – we are all a one humanity within the body of God.” I was not raised in a religious way at all, and this was a good start for me, because I could find my way to God in a very natural way within my own rhythm. I always felt what I am finally now re-discover through the presentations and teachings of Serge Benhayon, realizing that The Way of The Livingness always has been “my” religion, by feeling it’s truth, even when I weren’t able to live it before.
The Way of the Livingness presented as a religion makes so much sense. Until recently I had real trouble with the words God, Sacred and Divine, especially in relation to myself, but I am recognising that the image I had of God and the other two words was one that had been imposed on me by the Catholic Faith, and not at all my/our natural way of being.
I grew up with the same kind of beliefs Tamara, that God was a powerful being that was outside of us that was supposed to be loving, but at the same time, would send us to hell when we died if we didn’t believe. I didn’t clock this at the time but realised later in life how much I carried guilt within me for often doing the wrong thing (sinning) & feeling how I might (or should be) judged or punished. I like you, say thank God for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine who have offered me a reflection by living example that divinity is always found within.
Lets clear our browser history 😉 and search again…
“we are all INSIDE God, and God is inside us equally” awesome Carmel thank you for this sharing of how we can Know God, love it.
The Catholic Church has invented confession. Apparently, you can do just whatever and go and confess it, get a punishment in the form of prayers and then you are clean. Well, what if in truth, we cannot eliminate from your body the energetic register of what you did through this procedure? What if confession and all the illusion around it, simply feed irresponsibility?
Great point Eduardo. Confession leads people to believe they have changed something. While we can nominate what is not true, if we are doing it to please another, there is no real intention to change our ways and clear what has lead to that in the first place. Even when we nominate something, if we don’t put into action the change, nothing actually clears.
God is every where if we allow ourselves to see and feel God. I have always felt God but I did not choose to be in the awareness that we are all equal Sons of God. Serge Benhayon brought this awareness plus the fact what true religion is and that’s when I came home.
Carmel to feel and be with the magic of God is very inspiring.
A beautiful sharing Carmel of your re-connection back to God and a Religion that is true. To see God in everyone and in everything around us is a lovely reminder that is perfect to take into my day. I also felt to share this gem again as well -‘now I can say that I can feel God within me: when I allow myself to be still and as I go about my daily life gently there is a feeling of deep inner joy.’
Thank you Anna, yes I am learning that in stillness we have access to the Wisdom – why would we want to be anything else?
Yes agree Carmel, I can feel how I kept myself in the busyness of life for many years, avoiding stillness of any kind. Each day I am developing more stillness in my life and can feel the magic in this – simple yet truly profound.
This is inspiring to read Luke and a great point to remember so no situation can be clouded by a former one.
well this is the aim, although still imperfect haha. Thanks Candida
‘ It’s lovely how God and Science are one.’, I love how you say this Carmen, you are right, it is simply lovely.
What a great way to approach life Luke, it will surely bring out in full view those ideals and beliefs that want to be held onto. I like it.
This is really beautiful Carmen. It shows us how strange, disharmonious and condeming some of the views of God are. Your symbolism of God is much like my own, in natural beauty.
Hi Lisa, yes, God is not some crash of thunder or bolt of lightning to be feared, but simply something we are, like the cells at the end of our fingertips that know to become nails, we each have an individual expression but we make up the whole.
‘like the cells at the end of our fingertips’, I love this. I was at a talk on the word ‘Religion’ some time back, and there was all this discussion on what people felt about the word, how they feared or shied from it and why. What I felt very clearly during this discussion on the word religion – which is pretty much mostly connected to the word god – that it was not about any of the words that people had been using all day, at all. That to me, when I think about the word religion, all the cells in my body feel like they fill up and smile, radiantly shining like a star. Religion is connecting to the godliness in us – and god is in all our cells, even the cells at the end of our fingertips.
Carmel, I love how you describe God in such a tangible and accessible way and it makes me smile as I read it and feel how I too have now developed a relationship with God which has completely changed from my childhood one which was all about a distant figure who had to be pleased. Now I feel God in the eyes of another when they are simply themselves, in the birds singing and in the majesty of a big open sky.
I have never doubted God but it was not until I met Serge Benhayon and listened to presentations about the Ancient Wisdom that I felt the love of God. As I gradually began to feel the love within my inner-heart I have come to know the true meaning of love and God is love. Carmel your words say it very clearly for me “we are all INSIDE God, and God is inside us equally, no matter who we are or what we do. There are no special ‘chosen ones’, there is no such place as Hell, God does not judge, we are all divine but just not expressing our divinity in its fullness.”
That is what is so gorgeous about this religion, The Way of the Livingness – it is for everybody – as you say, Mary, there are no chosen ones for we are all God’s children, equally. http://www.unimedliving.com/the-livingness/what-is-religion/the-way-of-the-livingness-is-a-religion.html
Until very recently the word ‘God’ caused a reaction in me which meant I found it very hard to dissociate from pre-conceived ideas of who or what God is but as I have let go of these ideas and come to understand them I understand what the word has come to carry in our society as it has been heavily bastardised through institutionalised religions – I love your description of your unfolding relationship with God and the realisations you have had Carmel, thank you.
I agree, Michael, the word ‘God’ has a whole load of untrue emotional associations attached to it. I have always appreciated the beauty of nature but avoided calling it God. I still appreciate the miracles that happen every day when I turn up somewhere at just the ‘right’ moment, or a beautiful or playful animal/bird appears right in front of me, but in the past I would never have called it God. I am still a little shaky in claiming or proclaiming myself to a complete stranger as a son of God for fear of their reaction, so there is still some way to go to get over the fear of centuries of persecution. But I am appreciating and accepting much more that God is in me and I am in God, and beginning to understand what that truly means and how it feels.
The thing that stands out for me as I remember my catholic childhood is that I was encouraged to come away from the feeling of loveliness I had, to concentrate on how bad I was. I remember spending ages trying to work out how I had sinned having been told that I had sinned many times before I even knew it. So I changed the way I was feeling about myself to accomodate this aspect of being inherently evil. That’s pretty sad. Why did I allow this?
Way later, after trying to be good for a very long time, at the same time as I was treating my body in completely loveless ways, I decided that no one was going to tell me about God. I had allowed too many people, that I had given authority to, to stand between me and God. That was no longer going to be allowed. I know God is love and I decided to take my chances with him.
I met Serge Benhayon and so much was made clear to me, Wonderful, awesome, clear presentations of the way things are.
My relationship with God is still mine, with a much greater understanding of my connection to myself through my body and through my connection to love.
Thank you for sharing Carmel, the fear that you described in the first bit of the blog is what the church used to control the masses back when the catholic religion came about… Make rules for people, say something bad is going to happen if they don’t follow them and bam, they follow them. Fear is an easy way to get people to do the thing you want. However, we all must know that God is true to some degree to be able to follow this…As if someone started saying the same things about a big purple dinosaur I doubt anyone would have been that entrenched in religion and most would see through it. Someone played off our true inner knowing of God and twisted it for their own use.
This is an interesting take on religion – that it was used in this way: ‘Someone played off our true inner knowing of God and twisted it for their own use.’ The purpose of that was to keep us separated from our own inner connection and thus from God and it has worked – millions world-wide belong to these organised religions that proclaim God but are not truly claiming themselves as part of God.
Very beautiful “Most of all, now I can say that I can feel God within me: when I allow myself to be still and as I go about my daily life gently there is a feeling of deep inner joy, and a feeling of harmony.” This is something that I feel within me and I appreciate it deeply. It does not take much to reflect back on how I once felt, with a gapping space, feeling like there was something missing….it felt like a grief and now when I assess my body and how it feels there is so much warmth emanating from my heart, it feels amazing. And what is absolutely amazing about it is that with true inspiration and support I have worked and committed to this change within me. I feel deeply empowered that my commitment has rebuilt this connection and I know that no one and nothing can take it away. It is my choice.
I, too, took on the concept during childhood that God was outside of us. When it was presented by Serge Benhayon that God was inside us, and we in him, it made, and does make, complete sense. Like you, Carmel, it is taking a long time though to feel the truth of that in my body. However, it is growing and as I do so, so God is becoming real for me. Beautifully expressed, thank you.
You know, Jonathan, my feeling is that we’ve all been waiting for one of those Epiphanical moments, like you see in those huge religious rallies on TV where people beat their chests and shout: ‘Yeah – I feel God, God is with me, Halleluja’ whereas in truth is it a quiet knowing, an acceptance, a gentle sigh and a settling feeling of coming home.
Your rediscovery of God after listening to Serge Benhayon is really beautiful and so different from what religion teaches us about this stupendous being who’s standards we can never live up to. I love that true religion is as simple and exquisite as connecting to and feeling God inside through the stillness and all around us. Gorgeous.
I could feel from what you share here Carmel is the BIG difference between Truth and the concept of Right and Wrong. What you came to understand later in your life was a way of life that was truth-full and inline with God through your body. This feels very very empowering and simple when compared to the idea of right and wrong which I can sense is taught by the church. With that way there was almost a trying to always be right after sensing that we are always imperfect and never like God. Very disempowering.
I feel God in this writing too Sarah Flenley! Carmel I relate to the childhood imprinted image of God as separate and elevated from us. I definitely absorbed the perfection equals Godliness pill, and to this day find this image still comes through at times.More and more I am accepting that God is the beautiful feeling of at-one-ness, and seen and felt in the magic that permeates our daily lives.
I feel God in this piece of writing and sharing. Thank you.
Carmen a truly lovely sharing. I particularly enjoyed all the places you see and feel God!
This is truly beautiful. Thank you Carmel. I was brought up in a cultural tradition where a ‘god’ of some kinds was often mentioned; just a generation before mine was brought up being told the Emperor was god; many people went to temples and shrines to ask god or whoever was supposed to be there to grant their wishes – too many versions with no clear definition, I was confused and the word ‘god’ had not much serious weight for me. The definition of God and religion as presented by Serge Benhayon just makes sense to me and they now feel real and relevant to me.
‘I am learning to open myself up to seeing and feeling God equally in others too, to see that we are all divine equal beings and to not judge anyone, for we are not separate – we are all a one humanity within the body of God.’ – beautifully expressed. I too am learning how we can be blessed in every moment by the presence of God if we are open to receive what is constantly on offer.
A very beautiful blog deeply honoring that the presence of God is always equally within us as we are within Him, and with this how Divinely connected we are with all. I can feel the glory and the natural harmony in the way you now choose to live. Thank you Carmel this was truly inspiring to read and feel.
It is so true Carmel, that the images we have about how God is, what God is, how God feels come in the way of truly feeling God. It is actually quite normal as it is in us all and in nature though non the less amazing to feel.
Carmel your blog brings back so many memories! I remember feeling the weight and the anxiety of not ever being able to meet the perfection I thought was required to be good in the eyes of God, which to me meant being like Jesus. I would wish I was Catholic so I could do the Hail Mary confession thing and be absolved of my failings (not to mention the theatre of it all). Much as I tried to be good I too was angry, resentful jealous and more than that, sad and feeling not good enough to be worthy of love. Eventually I resolved this issue by giving up God, but of course the feelings of unworthiness remained because I was looking to an outside measure that was nothing to do with God, and more than that, I was pre-judging myself and holding back on expression, not wanting to get it wrong. Thanks to Universal Medicine I’m gradually learning that when I appreciate myself and am understanding and accepting of where I am at in any moment then I am with God.
Hi hartanne60, ‘Thanks to Universal Medicine I’m gradually learning that when I appreciate myself and am understanding and accepting of where I am at in any moment then I am with God.’ I agree, we are very good at the ‘I’m not enough’ game and most of us are brought up in a way that is deliberately keeping us small – the critical self messages become ingrained and we hold back. We need to be living with full expression and appreciation of who we are. If we are not living as the Sons of God that we are, how will others get to feel their own innate divine-ness?
“I am learning to not judge any more” – I know this one and just when I think I have dropped all judgement something sneaks in and I’m like ‘where did that come from’. The more I be me as a Son of God then the more this naturally drops away. We are One and it is such a change of outlook when we know and accept that we are a Son of God and so to is everyone else as well.
‘I always felt that he was my friend and would chat or pray to him a lot.’ Me too Carmel. I wasn’t really brought up religious but had a sense that God was close and a friend. I feel him in the warmth of the sunshine too. Your blog was beautiful to read again.
This is a really beautiful list Carmel of ways you feel God. I too was taught God was ‘out there’, most certainly separate and apart from me. I had to ‘do good’ in order for him to be pleased with me, and even then, I really was never worthy, always lesser and was supposed to feel bad about myself for as long as I lived. I decided this kind of God wasn’t for me. When I listened to Serge Benhayon speak about God, he made God feel so real to me, like he was his best buddy. I liked that 🙂 God is now becoming my buddy too, as I figure out how to find where he is and connect with him.
Yes, I too was a bit of a fence sitter when it came to the agnostic/atheist description of myself – a very uncomfortable place to be. And as you say kevmchardy: “who was I trying to kid?”. The presentations of Universal Medicine have certainly begun to clarify what I had always known, but had chosen to ignore.
When I was a child I prayed as well and like you I didn’t feel so lonely. Never thought about that fact…I grew up very catholic too – I didn’t like it by the way, so your summary of where you feel, see, taste and smell God is like medicine to me.
Gorgeous blog Carmel I love where you list all the places you see and feel God, like the buzzing of the bees and butterfly wings, just beautiful.
This is beautiful Carmel, for me god has always been something I have believed in and felt deeply within my heart. No matter how hard things seemed, that inner strength and knowingness was there, that within me (no matter how dim at times) there was a sense of solidness and unwavering love. To me that was god and I could feel within myself that I was part of god. Since connecting to Universal Medicine and what Serge Benhayon presents, I have felt this has been reinforced. Now though, I am beginning to see that the strength is me, and it is now up to me to show that in the world, to feel and live in a responsible way and be the love that I am and to know that that love is equally in us all.
Carmel, like you I grew up not really knowing if God existed. I had no real understanding of whom or what God may be but after meeting Serge Benhayon and attending his presentations what he said about God felt like a known truth in my body. Like you, I can now say “that I can feel God within me: when I allow myself to be still and as I go about my daily life gently there is a feeling of deep inner joy, and a feeling of harmony”. I also see God equally in others and that we are all divine equal beings, even if some do not choose to express from that innate divinity. As you say, ‘we are all a one humanity within the body of God’ and to live with this knowing is life changing!
Wow Carmel, reading you blog has broken down another layer of understanding of how I am still hooked into my ideals of what God is, these coming from being brought up a strict Catholic. As you did, I followed the rules, and even up until this day still feel petrified of ‘not getting things right in case I go to hell’. This is not on a conscious level, but I can feel how this belief is still held in my body. Thanks for writing this blog and the healing that it has brought for me.
I agree, Donna, these deeply held beliefs are not always obvious but they do become the norm and govern our whole approach to life, work, relationships, ourselves – everything!
Thank you for sharing Carmel, I felt God within me and all around me when I was walking at the lake today.
God is the most beautiful, warm, loving, caring being I know so far. I am very very blessed to feel God, to relate to him as my best friend and father. Best thing is: I don’t need mobile net, Wifi and no need to travel far to meet up. It simply needs a proper diet, a lovely rhythm during the day and being me – and the connection is felt.
Awesome Felix and so true. I love it.
Hi Felix, I love your words, and it is that simple to connect with God – it is ourselves who create the complexities that keep him as a figure outside of us – we so abuse our bodies, the one fine instrument that can help us to feel God.
This is beautiful Carmel, to be able to feel God within us and all around us is such a precious gift – to think of God as being separate from us and judging us is so far from the truth that it is no wonder that we can start to disconnect from this.
Really loved the part where you explained all the ways you see and feel God…..It was beautiful to read. I too have had difficulty telling people that I am religious and know there’s a God…..There is hardly any religious affiliation in my family so it’s kinda foreign to me. Though, like you, when I was younger I had a feeling there was a God so have been open to it.
“we are all a one” – so simple and so true.
Dear Carmel, I love this blog –
“I see God when butterflies dance and bees buzz busily among the flowers.
I hear God in every bird that sings its clear song with its whole body.
I see God in the eyes of young children and babies who are simply being themselves.
I feel God in the warmth of the sun.
I hear God when we sing together in beautiful harmonies.
I feel God in the warmth of eye contact and a true smile exchanged with another.
I smell God in the heart of a beautiful rose.
I taste God in fresh food lovingly cooked.
I hear God in a voice spoken from a body that is expressing in full with true energetic truth.”
This just made me smile, it is true – I absolutely agree, God is everywhere and within us all equally.
Thank you Carmel for this beautiful reminder that God is all the time in the beauty and magic around us. I start feeling God right next to me, walking by my side and it is the most beautiful feeling ever.
It was lovely to read you blog Carmel, and that you have such a personal relationship with god everywhere you go. I must say the version of god I learned in church made no sense to me. I have come to an understanding of God through the teachings of Serge Benhayon and know that god is within us all.
This is beautiful Carmel and it reminds me of my own journey in rediscovering my very intimate connection with God that I’ve had ever since I was little but doubted along the way being influenced by the various beliefs around who and what God is. Our minds find it easier to make up God as a man with a white beard and then dismiss this as foolish.
Our minds can’t grapple with a knowing we have at our very core that God is not a thing outside of us, he is within us and we are also within his godly body. There’s nothing mental about this and hence society so mentally invested has shunned away a universal truth. Reclaiming this knowing and feeling the divinity within me and all around me every day is the warmest home-coming I could have ever asked for.
Beautifully put Katerina. A truth put like this to children would be so easy for them to understand as it is a known in our bodies.
I agree, Katerina, our minds can’t grapple with it – it is something we feel deep inside – and as I refine my food and my lifestyle, my body feels more spacious and allowing of that feeling.
Thanks to the life and work of Serge Benhayon and Universal medicine I know that the Kingdom of God is inside us all. Thank-you Bina
Funny – when I grew up with parents who were not active with religion at all, I did fall in love with Jesus. God was just “to big” for me – like an authority far far away (or above) – but Jesus was my friend, much more accessible for me – so to say. Jesus was the big brother I never had. I was willing to praise him and to do good in his name.
With the teachings and presentions from Universal Medicine I realized that “I am Jesus” so to say, by being a child or a part of God and that to shy away from God is to shy away from my own authority, responsibility and power.
It is lovely to read your blog Carmel and to realize again how much we are supported in separation by praying to something outside of us. It is like you say: The magic of God is in and all around us to express and to celebrate.
My religion is that way: to care for and celebrate my relationship with me, as a God-Child and to care for and celebrate my relationship with my brothers, who are the same – equally.
I never really lost my faith in God, but what I did lose was my connection. As a child I had a very real experience of God that extended back to real life memories of what it actually felt like to be in the womb. I always remembered it as being still, warm, expansive, held, and alive. As I got older, I could only remember that I remembered as a mental image, but I could no longer connect to the feelings I remembered so clearly as a child.
Years later, when I started having chakra-puncture and esoteric healing sessions, I re-connected to that feeling, that Universal Medicine refers to as the energy of fire. It is alive, expansive, very warm, flowing, vibrant, and interconnected to all of life – exactly as I remembered what it was like in the womb, and at this point those memories came flooding back to me. For me this very physical and tangible experience has been a great confirmation of the fact that God is not just real, he is omni-present and without doubt the true source of our origins and life-force.
Do I know him personally? Do I know what he looks like? No, the physicality of my human self of course limits me from knowing those things. But I can definitely feel him, as I can definitely feel my Soul, which in terms of what I feel are one and the same in quality, and both are recognisable by the energy of fire, something that in time is easily felt as we allow ourselves to become once again aware of the fact.
Thank you Carmel for such a beautiful blog . I have always felt God was within but being told otherwise, as a child and in the Church that we were sinners and responsible for the death of his only Son Jesus, and therefore not worthy of his Love . When I came to the Universal Medicine Presentations of The Way of The Livingness, as presented by Serge Benhayon everything made sense at last. God is within us all and we are all his Sons equally.
I am definitely feeling the ‘Ahhhhhh’ Shevon.
God just feels absolutely divine! I feel as if I am being wrapped up in his presence when I am reading your blog Carmel, and as I am writing this comment in my bedroom, you have also reminded me that god is always with me, he is sitting right next to me in my bed as I am typing this, and that God will always love me; it’s only me who forgets to love my self.
‘God will always love me; it’s only me who forgets to love my self.’ well said, Madeline!
Absolutely Carmel ‘God will always love me; it’s only me who forgets to love my self.’ This is so true Madeline and your comment is beautiful to read.
To recognise and to be continually reminded of the fact that God is, and has always been with us at our every turn, is so exquisite to feel. Thank you for sharing Carmel.
I use to get upset with God. How could he/she bring so much misery into the world? I struggled with this for a long time and saw how much misery was created in the name of religion or God and the wedge that is placed between people. Then through what Serge Benhayon presented I began to understand that there is much more to this than “he made me do it” or “please save me’. I now understand that in each moment I have the choice to feel the presence of God within me or not. This is a choice that I make and because God is love in all things, allows me to do that in my own time so that I can discover the ways in which I choose not to connect to my own divine grandness – which is God. I am learning to re-develop this relationship and am seeing God everyday in all my interactions with others, regardless of their beliefs and everywhere I go, in the moments of magic that are available for us. Thank you Carmel. Gorgeous article..
It’s funny how we blame God for doing this or that, or for not doing this or that, but God is just being God – it’s us who are messing things up – by not being us.
Carmel, that was such a beautiful blog to read. I loved reading about how you feel god in food, smells, a touch, what you see and what you hear. This just made me melt and I released that I am connected to god in every moment and second of my day.
Wow I can not imagine being sent off to boarding school so young, this is crazy.
I remember learning about purgatory, I was told it was were most people go when they die after all we were born in sin. Then one day the catholic church decided purgatory no longer existed, as a child this confused me and I asked the priest where all my dead relatives had gone, I was shooed away with an abrasive tone. I never understood this or many things the church taught.
Toni a light bulb has just gone off for me – I never heard that Purgatory didn’t exist – so your comment puzzled me – I googled it just now and, it seems, the Catholics still believe in it although Protestant religions don’t and hotly deny its existence. I pondered on how, despite my abandoning the Catholic Faith when I was 18, the concept of purgatory has affected the beliefs and ideals that I live now. I realised that as a child, I assumed I was going to purgatory because there was a deeply embedded belief that heaven was unachievable, unattainable, and that is what is holding me back from being all that I am now. That perfection is simply not something I can achieve, so I gave up on myself, and continue to give up on myself, feeling that I’ll never be enough. It is such a deeply embedded belief that it has affected me all of my adult life and still affects me now, at 65. ‘That’s not for me’ ‘I’m not that amazing’ ‘I’ll never be THAT good’ it is such a revelation for me to truly feel how much I have allowed those beliefs to get in the way of me being all that I am.
Great sharing Carmel that really deepens the feeling of God in everything and in myself. I grew up with all this knowledge about reincarnation, God, responsibility, etc. but it was always complicated, difficult to understand and like a massive burden. Through Serge Benhayon I learned what being religious truly means and that we are always religious and that our relationship with God is first of all a relationship with ourself accepting that we are Son’s of God. I am so used to just checking out and going my way instead of walking always next to God. So, this simple truth is something I practice every day to deepen the feeling of God in my body and know it from there.
God is everywhere and in everything, because God is within us, how beautiful is that realization. Thank you Carmel.
It is so beautiful to feel that I am never alone in this world. I have a forever friend, brother and father who is with me no matter what. His name is god.
I find it easiest to connect with God in nature and love seeing the magic of God as I take a walk down the street, observing the signs that he is communicating with me that are constantly being offered through the trees, plants and animals. As I connect more with God in nature, I then find it easier to connect with God in people.
Thank you for sharing this Carmel. I too had a religious upbringing where the image of god that was presented did not fit with what I felt. Serge Benhayon certainly does present a simple and accessible understanding of god. I am further developing my sense of god in all that is around me. Your blog has helped me further connect to this feeling, thank you.
Although I was not born into a family that practiced an established religion, I as everyone does, heard about this God that was very ‘separate” from us all. I felt that I could not connect with such a ‘God’. Separation seemed to be the opposite of what God and religion should be. I am still learning to unravel myself from this image or idea. What you say about how you have connected with God is beautiful. This quote stood out for me because I have really been aware of how peoples voices can alter when they are truly being themselves, rather than when they go into emotional anger or sadness. I can feel this quality developing within myself, my voice has altered a lot since have committed more to expressing myself through my connection with God, within “I hear God in a voice spoken from a body that is expressing in full with true energetic truth.”
That’s so beautiful!! I also experience those beautiful moments where you appreciate that its like heaven….like when I walk outside and the wind is blowing the trees and a fresh breeze on my face and I just go ahh… Nature, that is what God feels like.
A really honest and open article, a joy to read.
I never believed in the church definition of God, that was judgemental and punishing.
But a God that is within us all equally…this I can say yes to.
How beautiful Carmel that you see God when butterflies dance. I now too feel God is within me and within others even when our behaviors don’t always match the beauty of God. The amazing thing I don’t feel God judges me when I slip up so this supports me to be less hard on myself which is a big change from the way I was bought up in the Catholic Church to view God!
I know God by His magic. The signs he sends me through nature and through the words of others. I know God in me through the reflection of God inside others, via my vast collection of moments I have no doubt about God.
It is always in the moments that I am deeply connected to my Self that I experience His magic. I wonder if it’s possible that if I open my eyes and heart to the magic of God more often I would deepen my relationship with Him. I wonder if its possible that if we are connected in a few moments, we could then be connected in them all?
Yes Jeannette, “It is always in the moments that I am deeply connected to my Self that I experience His magic” is true for all of us. Thus, as we continue to deepen our connection, so we deepen our ‘knowing’ of God. Then, when we get to a place where we can hold that connection in each and every moment, so we know God in each and every moment and the ‘Magic of God’ becomes our normal way of being.
Carmel, I enjoyed reading your blog on the unfoldment of your relationship with God. There is a lot of the complexity around God with many varying beliefs and ideals from many different religious doctrines. For me Serge Benhayon has helped me see the loving simplicity that is God.
‘as I make changes to my way of living that help me to develop my awareness, I can feel more and more in my body and I see and feel God at every turn.’ Thank you Carmel, your blog feels very supportive. My relationship with God is unfolding and I can see how I hold back this connection due to how I think others will perceive me. Your blog is a reminder that there is nothing to be forced here, nothing to be done, that it all comes back to the quality of relationship I have with myself and the quality of my foundation. Awareness is something that we are all naturally born with, and our ability to resist the forces that are designed to shut down our awareness determines whether we retain it or not, and whether we continue to have a relationship with the all that is greater than our temporal senses or not. I choose to see, hear, smell, feel and taste God in everything around me as you do and I will continue to develop my awareness to support me to exercise this choice in fullness.
Thanks Carmel. It seems I’m not the only one who isn’t 100% clear on how they feel about God. I’m still in limbo land and still find myself in reaction to those 3 letters. I struggle to not keep him as separate, and I think the fact the we still refer to God as a ‘him’ has a lot do with that. I understand what you are saying however, and for me it feels more palatable when I replace the word God with Love. I also understand the words Love and God are one and the same, I just don’t feel to say God just yet.
A work in progress.
God to me is love, the unwavering steady love that never judges or punishes but accepts me in full. God is felt when there is a connection to the inner light, that inner pulse that is matched by the pulse of nature.
God has always been a touch and go subject for me so thank you for opening the conversation wider and sharing your experience.
Thanks for your sharing, as God is a big topic and not many can explain what is and what is not so thank you for further opening the discussion.
Thank you Carmel, I love reading your blog it was very inspiring for me.
Thank you Carmel for sharing such a truthful blog on who God is. I too grew up with the teachings of the Catholic Church. As I got a little older I realised that what they had told me at church didn’t really make a lot of sense to me. So that is where I lost my faith, so to speak with the Catholic Church and my belief in God. The teachings from Serge Benhayon has given me such a simple and better understanding of who God is.
Thank you Carmel – I can totally relate to the ‘getting it wrong’, the fear felt, the shame feeling and the guilt feeling that was imposed upon me from growing up with Catholicism. I was taught that yes God is Love but also that he is mighty and that we are mere mortals – I was taught that ‘we are all God’s children’ but ‘he sent his only son’- I was taught that he doesn’t judge but there is sin. Confusing and contradictory. However, because the ‘I am less’ than God and the feeling that I had to work hard to get to be with him – it felt quite pressuring and imposing. But always within me, I questioned.
Today, I know that God is within me and that I am equal to him – that through my choices in the way and how I am and live, I can offer the expression of God through my everyday living. And like you I see, and feel him everywhere and in all parts of life – from the tricky moments that give us an opportunity to learn to the glorious and confirming delicious moments in life.
Carmel lovely to hear you break the confines of the church and its religion. God is everything and I am a son of God and when I look in the mirror and see God, then I am God.
Hi Carmel this hymn of yours hums with a love of people and the world we live in. What a gorgeous description of the way you connect to God in everything.