Who or What is God?

As a small child I was brought up by a Catholic mum and a Church of England dad; I was sent to Catholic boarding school when I was seven where there was a beautiful chapel with candles and incense and I would spend many hours in there singing in the choir, attending services, praying or simply enjoying the sensory experience.

I grew up believing that God was separate from us. We were taught that he was a giant being who created us, who sat on a big throne in Heaven and judged and punished us. I grew up with ideals and beliefs that said that I must be ‘good’, otherwise I would go straight to Hell when I died… or if I wasn’t completely bad a not-quite-so-hellish place called Purgatory. So I tried to be good and when I failed I’d go to confession and say the Hail Marys that would absolve me from my sins and let me start again.

My early years were all about being good, trying to do better and being totally anxious about getting things right and feeling awfully guilty if I upset anyone or broke something. I always did as I was told and would always follow the rules, was always polite and would apologise profusely whenever I did anything wrong.

This became a way of life throughout adulthood as well, constantly anxious, always trying to be good and fearful of ‘getting it wrong’. I made plenty of mistakes and felt ashamed or I’d get angry with everything and rebel and then feel even worse afterwards. I think I was quite angry as a child but was never allowed to express that openly, it would come out in snide, sneaky ways – or as an adult by being very hard on myself and very critical of others.

At boarding school we were taught that God was outside of us, but I always felt that he was my friend and would chat or pray to him a lot. It helped me to feel less lonely. When I left school and went to university I began to question God and decided he didn’t exist. Through most of my adult life I continued to deny God and followed all sorts of scientific theories and new age ideas as to our origins, but none of it felt true.

In 2005 I met Serge Benhayon; he talked about God in a matter-of-fact way and everything he said made sense. It felt true and I had a sense of feeling settled, like I was coming home. I felt challenged at the same time because I thought I had finished with God and religion.

I found it really hard to accept that this God, whom I’d denied for over 40 years, was not only very real but a very accessible reality and such that we are not separate from him, we are all INSIDE God, and God is inside us equally, no matter who we are or what we do. There are no special ‘chosen ones’, there is no such place as Hell, God does not judge, we are all divine but just not expressing our divinity in its fullness.

I was blown away by what felt like truth but I still resisted. I felt embarrassed to tell my friends I was in a religion and that yes, God really does exist. I was anxious about what other people would think of me, that they’d think I was weird or stupid. I couldn’t feel God in my body so if they questioned me I couldn’t truly explain as clearly as Serge Benhayon had done.

I couldn’t feel God because I had an image of what I thought God would feel like, but as I make changes to my way of living that help me to develop my awareness, I can feel more and more in my body and I see and feel God at every turn.

I see God when butterflies dance and bees buzz busily among the flowers.

I hear God in every bird that sings its clear song with its whole body.

I see God in the eyes of young children and babies who are simply being themselves.

I feel God in the warmth of the sun.

I hear God when we sing together in beautiful harmonies.

I feel God in the warmth of eye contact and a true smile exchanged with another.

I smell God in the heart of a beautiful rose.

I taste God in fresh food lovingly cooked.

I hear God in a voice spoken from a body that is expressing in full with true energetic truth.

Most of all, now I can say that I can feel God within me: when I allow myself to be still and as I go about my daily life gently there is a feeling of deep inner joy, and a feeling of harmony. I am learning to open myself up to seeing and feeling God equally in others too, to see that we are all divine equal beings and to not judge anyone, for we are not separate – we are all a one humanity within the body of God.

By Carmel Reid, Somerset, UK

Please note we reserve the right to decline the publication of comments that are purely self-promotional or which are designed to advance a predefined agenda or dogma, we find that comments of this nature are not conducive to open two-way conversation. This means no Scripture-spam please. Refer to our Comments Policy for further guidelines.

572 thoughts on “Who or What is God?

  1. We have allowed for so long to have something/somebody that claims to be the expert of God to stand in the way of us and God. But we do know God and we always have.

  2. I was bought up in the Catholic religion and like you, Carmel turned my back on God and religion as I could no longer stand the lies or the hypocrisy of the church, it took some time for me to be comfortable that I was part of a religion again because of the hurts I was still carrying. This soon changed because The Way of the Livingness is a true religion that is about living love, truth and joy every day – qualities I see Serge Benhayon consistently live, this was what inspired my reconnection back to God and religion.

  3. When I feel angry or sad, it is that I know we all have God-like qualities such as honesty, not holding back, equality, love etc, but I chose to ignore them. So to come back to feeling godly I just change my movements, no matter how unfamiliar and abrupt at times, it may feel.

  4. This is something I am only just beginning to appreciate, that being good comes with always trying to get it right, and that there is a huge difference when we go for what is TRUE. It becomes a whole body feeling and not just a mind-based mental way of thinking.

  5. Being good is a huge ideal I also grew up with, even though I wasn’t raised with one of the current religions my parents had but the ideals and beliefs came anyway through their way of living. Being good is a hard one to crack as it seems so good! But it caused a lot of anxiety of having to do the right thing, overthinking every time I needed to make a choice and almost constantly I felt like I was never making the right or good choice. It wasn’t until I realised that being ‘good’ is not always the same as being true, that I started to make changes in these situations, and brought it back more to how it felt in my body, and if it was simple rather than complicated which often comes with trying to be good.

  6. Our connection with God is a very personal thing, even though it applies to all of us, there is a Truth that is the same for everyone. The difference comes with what we believe and what we allow ourselves to feel. Beliefs can be different, creating all sorts of images of what God looks like, but what we can feel deep inside is the presence and that is the same for everyone, it is only our awareness that is not.

  7. God is Everywhere in Everything and we are living with God even when we deny God. This is how I feel about it now that I have known the quality of stillness within that is possible and I have sensed the potential of living from this place.

  8. Carmel as I read this blog, it bought back certain memories of my upbringing, Hinduism and there was always this good and bad/evil battle. Everything we did revolved around this including the many days a year we couldn’t eat certain foods because it was such and such day/month or it was for such and such occasion. Sometimes it was that strict I recalled my sibling losing it with me when I ate meat during a particular month I wasn’t suppose to, I was suppose to be totally vegan. I did wonder why I wanted to do the opposite every time someone asked me to do a certain thing because the priest or a religious book said so – it almost felt like I went against the imposition pressure and I came across as being the bad person for not conforming.

    Over the years I realised our lives were no different when we followed these rituals, our lives were no more enriched, and God didn’t suddenly appear confirming we had been good.

    The body has that inner ding, that inner knowing that something doesn’t feel the truth, it communicates that this isn’t ‘right’, its actually communicating that this is a lie separating us from God.

  9. As I understand it God can only be felt through the body and I was taught about God through my mind. I can repeat words people have said about God but I still don’t feel the absolute authority in my body. I can accept everything Serge Benhayon presents because he has that authority and we can feel it in his presence but here is a part within many of us that is still resisting God, divinity, and sacredness.

  10. It makes sense that I can’t feel God in the way others express they do because I have this image of who and what ‘he’ is. As long as I have this held belief of what I’ve been told then there is no way I can allow the possibility of what god really means. Super interesting.

  11. It really does me make me question the impact ideals and beliefs have on us in our lives and the fact that we chose and still can choose to align to them and other behaviours, investments, pictures, etc to simply keep us away from living who we truly are, a son of God. I can totally relate to living in anxiousness about getting things right. The pressure I have put myself under has felt overwhelming at times all because of taking on something that was not true. I am a son of God first and no matter what happens I am always a son of God first and foremost.

  12. “I met Serge Benhayon; he talked about God in a matter-of-fact way and everything he said made sense.” Serge Benhayon offers a way to be at one with God.

  13. Beautifully expressed Carmel, I too have had a similar experience in the Catholic Church, knowing now the truth that God lives within each and everyone of us and that we are held in love in the body of God as divine sons of God. I am amazed at the lies that we have been feed by false religion that keeps us separated from the God they propose to up hold.

  14. It’s one of the most glorious feelings I embrace – feeling how to put into words what I know about our dear friend God. I very much enjoyed how Carmel expressed about God – “There are no special ‘chosen ones’, there is no such place as Hell, God does not judge, we are all divine but just not expressing our divinity in its fullness.” AND
    ” .. was not only very real but a very accessible reality and such that we are not separate from him, we are all INSIDE God, and God is inside us equally, no matter who we are or what we do.” Hear hear!!

  15. If only as children we were offered that God is available to us through our inner connection, through knowing ourselves we know God. What a different place the world would be.

  16. Having been also brought up in the Catholic religion Carmel, I can totally relate to what you share, the God that the Catholic religion speaks of is so far from the truth of God, one wonders why so many still fall for these false ideals and beliefs.

  17. How in the world does a person who goes to a boarding confessional school that is seemingly about God all the time end up denying Him? Is this telling us something about the fact that these confessional boarding schools are not truly religious? Imagine going through a true religious boarding school (if something like this makes sense which I doubt). Would anyone deny God? My answer: no way.

    1. Any school that is dominated by the Catholic religion risks damaging its pupils and as a friend said today, parents need to be a big part of children’s education so that it is not all left to schools

  18. How very shocking it is that the indoctrinations of a religion can have such a traumatic effect on a child; and you are just one of millions who probably have experienced the same. The programming feels so intense that I can see why it would take some time to release yourself from its grip; which many others may never be able, or want, to do.

  19. This revealing blog shows how often couples have children in an irresponsible way based on some ideal and belief that they need to have kids to have a successful marriage or something similar. Unfortunately the result is a poor relationship with their child as if they didn’t really want kids in the first place and they end up being sent off to school somewhere so they can continue with their lives unimpeded. So it’s very important for us all to not only consider why we truly feel to have children, but to also truly honor and support them when we do have them in the most responsible way by accepting them for who they are without having to prove themselves to others.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s