425 thoughts on “Learning to Feel my Feelings: Human Beings, not Human Doings”

1. ‘Life was about “doing your duty”, regardless of how we felt or how our bodies were feeling. We just “got on with it”.’ If I am honest there is still a part in me that wants to get on with it denying how my body feels to do my duty. When I write it down it feels awful and I know it is the cause of me choosing distraction at the other end as a reward and to not feel how I have misused my body. This behaviour is getting less and less as I build more love in my body and become more aware of what I am actually choosing and how this choice is a contribution to what we as women have accepted as normal which it is not.

2. ‘..to do nothing and just be with myself was called laziness.’ Our world seems to be running on busyness and this part stood out to me as it highlights how much our world is currently in a state where it frowns upon someone connecting to their stillness. Keeping ourselves and each other busy takes us out of reconnecting to our stillness and this is an excuse to not live in our power and fullness.

3. Our backbone is a strong flexible and supporting structure that we think of as weak because so many people have low back pain. But what if, as you say Sue, there is a message to look deeper into this, that when we get back pain, we can look into whether we are supporting ourselves. When we go into drive and pushing, doing activities, it may not be supportive for the physical body; when we get back pain, the body is making us stop, listen and be.

   1. So True Gill. I know now when I get back ache I have left ‘me’ behind and am either giving myself away too much or absorbing the energy of others. Staying connected with me supports me – and my back – still a work in progress…..

4. By suppressing the human BEING part in ourselves, we cannot truly put others first, because that can only mean honoring their being, a fact we can’t do because we are not doing this for ourselves to start with.

   1. So wise and true Eduardo

5. If I am truthful, I hate distractions cos they don’t feel very good in my body. But if I am absolutely honest, I also love them because I do them often and there is still part of me that does not want to go to the spot that I am distracting myself from.

   1. Yes i so agree! Despite knowing what distractions can mean I too can still think that I ‘enjoy; them, when in truth I am looking for a reward or a relief form my daily life. I love my daily life so it really doesn’t make sense unless we take energies into account.

6. Human beings know that distractions are a big part of their lives, just look at how easily distracted we can be. But rarely do we explore why we are so easily distracted, we look at it as ‘just the way life is’. Enter Universal Medicine, showing that there is actually another way to live and invite us to look under the stone of distraction (amongst other things) and shine a light and explore why are we living such distracted lives – what are we distracting ourselves from? Good on you for going there, and looking at why you do and healing what is there.

7. I can totally feel your inspiration Sue and feeling is such a gift, a navigation of Truth, a claiming back of Truth and our true self.

8. When I look back I am quite horrified at the myriad of distractions I used to divert my attention from what was truly going on in my life and in my body; I was definitely the master of distraction, a ‘human-doing’. As for a ‘human-being’ there was very little of that simply because I didn’t know how to be me. Having finally turned this around with the awesome support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I am slowly getting to know who I am, and how to be the amazing me is becoming so much easier.

9. This feels very raw and honest to return to your feelings of sadness, but also wonderful to feel them and let them go. The body is incredible how it can so easily discard these old behaviours, and we can return to our gorgeous selves by simply being.

   1. A very wise man once shared with me that if I hadn’t cried so much as a young girl, I would have had asthma in later life. Not burying my feelings – by crying so much at boarding school – thus didn’t compromise my lungs – which can be the storers of grief.

10. ‘I would cry and bemoan my fate to anyone who would listen, feeling sorry for myself and becoming a victim, and I would use this as a distraction rather than deal with the real issue.’ I have had this pattern in me. I’m noticing how much I like to moan – now I’ve started noticing it’s actually pretty constant, on reflection. I’m constantly tutting at life, dragging my feet like I’m asking – what is wrong with me?! Irony is I believed I was quite positive about life – compared to many I am but what I’m missing is not dealing with the real issues. Now that’s worth taking the space to ask myself this because I don’t want to be forcing myself through life because I have to, doing things and then feeling exhausted. It’s so easy to address so I will.

11. When adults deny the pain of a child I suspect they are doing it because they can’t bear to feel how much their child is hurting. Particularly in the case of a child who is desperately sad and hurt by being sent to boarding school by their parents, for they also don’t want to feel how their choice has hurt their child so much.

12. “Patterns of ‘doing’ became established, without care or regard for my true self.” I think it’s key to our health and well-being to be aware of the way in which we are doing things – it’s not the doing per se that is the problem but like you share the way in which we do what we do – the kind of connection that we bring to it…

13. Yesterday I spoke with a colleague who said: why are we always ‘doing things and trying to achieve targets’, is that what life really is about? When we spoke about us as human beings instead of human doings and really to allow the love that we innately are out, also at work, it gave a different level of connection.

14. Thank you Sue, when we remove the doing we find the being — the more we give that our attention, the more it will be our foundation.

    1. Love this – “when we remove the doing we find the being” – so true – thanks Danna.

15. When we do without presence it is empty; when we do in connection to ourselves there is purpose and that purpose is for the all.

16. Our perception matters, we think we know ourselves, but what is our perspective, have we been living a life of care and love, how we treat our body, impacts deeply on how we perceive life. Clarity and wisdom come from honouring our body and being a ‘being’ not just a physical doer.

17. Thank you Sue for sharing your experience of finding the true and loving you, I can so relate to what you have shared especially how things were back then, how you felt was never consider, you just got on with it, I was told feelings were not to be trusted, so I got to suppress whatever I felt as of no relevance, and went into the doing and the nice. I thank heaven for Serge who has brought us the truth of who we truly are and the healing modalities to heal all the impositions placed upon us and learn to live our truth.

18. Sue thank you so very much for this powerful article, every time I read it I gain insight of myself and others, and feel encouraged to be more loving with myself. Growing up in a society that doesn’t encourage sensitivity, fragility, or feelings leaves us as adults in various states of loss of quality of life. I still have to work through daily understanding and getting to know how sensitive I am and how much I actually am feeling. The symptoms I go into when I try to block what I’m feeling are much life everyone else’s – raciness, busyness, eating, shopping or doing anything unnecessarily. For me, it’s a constant motion of movement (including sitting still and thinking continuously), or a withdrawal and checking out. The truth is, this is everywhere to some degree and happening everyday, which shows me how unhealthy our ideals, beliefs, and systems are that cause a disconnection to our sensitivity.

19. When life is about doing your duty rather than honouring what you are feeling, it feels like a huge rejection of the precious being we are. This then leads to the busyness as a distraction to not feel that we are hurt and to be able to carry on in the doing.

    1. Keeping busy is such a huge distraction – which seems endemic in society at large – to not feel our feelings. if we were supported to allow our feelings to arise and not bury them I wonder how society would then look.

20. We innately have this inner understanding that continues to gnaw at us when we are far from the truth. We are surrounded by people who also continue to disregard this feeling too. It takes courage to break that cycle and when broken there could be many ramifications along the way for breaking that cycle, for some fear stops them from taking this first step. Its a beautiful step to initially take, because the road a head is so much better than the road before.

21. It is beautiful to stop and appreciate knowing who we truly are when we reconnect to the lightness that we felt as a young child.

22. The idea of stopping and taking a few moments to check in with myself has been with me for a while, but I have very rarely done it. My idea of a proper stop would be to have a day off, or go on holiday, or have a spa day. None of the above are wrong, and I wouldn’t say no to any of them, but what I am fining is that having regular stop moments in my busy day actually do support me hugely. 30 seconds, here, or a minute there, whether it’s to sit down, or connect with how I am breathing can change the direction and flow of a day, and switch things from frantic to calm.

23. I find it dis-heartening or when I think about life it can tie me up in it. There is a truth that I am, and that ‘am’ is my body. When I do not listen to my feelings and not show them its an instant lie and my own fight against what I already know within.

24. “Showing who you truly were, warts and all, was ignored and punished”. This was my experience of expressing my feelings too. Looking back, I wish I hadn’t given up so easily and become a nice, people pleaser. It has taken a long time to undo these patterns but it feels lovely to be re-discovering who I am and how I feel. It’s never too late.

    1. Beautiful that you are now rediscovering the true you. Having had the ‘nice and people-pleasing’ patterns for so long – maybe lifetimes – it does seem to take a long time to undo them. But, as you say, it;s never too late!

25. Ceaseless motion without periods of repose is like continually breathing out without taking the necessary breath in. Sooner or later you will hyperventilate – that is, the imbalance will catch up with you.

    1. So true, The universe shows us its ceaseless cycles – the ebb and flow of tides, night and day, we breathe out and breathe in etc . We need both repose and motion.

       1. Exactly – imagine if the Universe (God) forgot to breathe in! It would all go very pear-shaped indeed.

    2. I love this analogy Liane. It’s very tangible and for me, focusing on my breath is a key way to check in with how I am feeling.

26. ‘I would look out of the window in class, day-dreaming, but really hoping that the teacher would ask me what was wrong.’Just what I did Sue, trying to get attention and to be seen by someone else. How different from ‘I am learning to stay in the present moment, to accept and to love myself.’ or this one ‘I am content with, and in my body, just being me.’ Serge Behayon and Universal Medicine could never bring this to you when you were not willing to change, it is all about your commitment to truly change your life and the loving choices you have made because of that.

    1. There is a gorgeous saying that states: ‘ when the student is ready, the teacher appears’. Meaning that we must first make the call to evolve out of the mess we have created and back to a truer way to be, before we will be given all that is required to support us on the journey home.

27. Same here Sue, I always felt there was more to life and was always living with this discontent not ever being able to find the ‘more’, but always remaining stuck and not moving forward – hence the discontent! Everything changed for me when I spent a full 10 days in England at the courses of Serge Behhayon and Universal Medicine – and like you, my searching ‘out there’ ended as I too felt like I had come home.

28. ” I am now taking responsibility for my life events and for how I respond to situations.”
    This is a powerful statement and in your writings Sue and what you have expressed about you life , it shows that you never truly gave up. So you can now say and recognise ,
    ” Finding Universal Medicine was like coming home.”

29. It is inspiring to know that it is never too late to discover a joyful life.

30. I find that when I am present and with myself in each moment or activity I am celebrating the what is and not what may be which confirms my movements within these moments and takes the perfection and having to get somewhere out of the equation. Life becomes much more simple.

31. Thank you Sue, I too have discovered that the way forth in my evolution is a constant deepening inward and not an outward movement as the world tells us to be, the more I surrender to this – the more I get to experience on a daily basis what the magic of God is all about.

    1. And when we make the shift from an outward movement to an inward movement, everything changes in your life – and it is forever expanding, enriching and all encompassing.

    2. There is a whole world to be experienced on the inside, and then brought to this world. Thank you Francisco.

32. This is so familiar and reminds me of how I got so good growing up at meeting expectations and not truly expressing what I feel, but I played a game with this and now in adulthood I am learning again to express what I feel and not assume that others know just because I might be out of sorts, it’s in fact my responsibility to express what I feel without dumping this on another and to make the needed changes to support that. I now see that if I blame any external factors, be it things or people in fact I’m avoiding looking at how I feel and that my first task to look and feel those and go from there …no one can dictate how I feel unless I let them.

    1. Absolutely Monica. Back in the day it was common to say ‘you make me feel xyz.’ But as you say no one can make me feel anything. I have to take responsibility for how I feel due to my previous choices – and how I express – without ‘dumping’ on another.

    2. It’s really important point Monica that others may need our direct and clear expression of how we are actually feeling.

       1. I had a great experience of this over Christmas. Expressing clearly how I truly felt – rather than withdrawing and feeling hurt – resulted in a great conversation with a family member. It feels like our relationship shifted to a whole new level!

33. Reading this has brought up a memory of crying a lot when I was younger and being called a cry baby, and it was at this point that I started to hide my feelings – although not very well, because it always showed on my face, judging by how many grown up’s used to say ‘Cheer up it may never happen’.

    1. I got this one a lot too Julie. Yet I don’t remember feeling especially miserable at the time. However I guess there was a low level underlying despondency that showed up on my face.
       In stark contrast to when one is feeling great and good about oneself, when it seems that the sun shines out from your eyes, and people respond to your openness and smile.

34. It is extraordinary how much children are not acknowledged or listened to when they express and how this can lead them to shutdown or withdraw later in life. The more children are held as equals and feel safe to express to anyone I am sure this would support them to develop more confidence and self-worth throughout life.

35. It is no wonder that so many adults struggle to express themselves when as children they probably had the expression of how they were feeling squashed in many ways. And it doesn’t take much to squash a child’s expression as you experienced. Even a simple – you’re making that up – can begin the process of a child shutting down their innate inner knowing. We owe it to our children to stop and take the time to listen and honour what they are sharing, after all they are much wiser that we give them credit for.

    1. You’re so right Ingrid, in that it doesn’t take much to shut a child’s expression down if they are not ‘full of themselves’ in a true way, first. Truly meeting children is so important, as is honouring and listening to them. ‘Out of the mouths of babes …….. ‘

36. Looking back, it is always fascinating how we pay for the pattern of movement we are in but we rarely even consider that this is something we have to look at. And, if we do look at it we accept it as part of us, so we end up identifying with it and hence, we work on it from it. There is nothing in this world, except for the Esoteric, that gives us the opportunity to walk away freely from it and to feel that it was false all along.

37. You have coined this wonderful phrase Sue, that is such a clarion call for how we choose to live. The world would love to turn us into ‘doings’ limiting our natural expression and using us for its own ends.. to continue with the pattern of behaviour that is dominant at that time. But by ‘being’ the world gets our uniqueness, it gets all the divinity that is locked inside every one of us just waiting for an opportunity to bust out and be love. When put like that its an easy choice.

38. That’s incredible Sue. It requires determination and a willingness to be committed to yourself to be open to the possibility that it’s 100% ok to feel your feelings. We’ve all been shut down from that in one way or another, even if at home we allowed to feel, the schoolyard or workplace definitely doesn’t support us to work through our stuff. Imagine if we learnt to deal with stuff as and when it occurred while growing up. A whole new world!!!

39. I loved what you shared Sue Q I am ten years older than you and I can so relate to being the good nice obedient child, being told at a young age that feelings can’t be trusted, so that what we felt got buried, so I went into doing as a way of recognition and a way of burying what I was feeling, for my feelings had no value, Like you my life has changed so much since coming to Universal Medicine, I have learnt it is not about the doing but as you say the be-ing, being who we truly are, and that is love.

    1. Love this Jill – “I have learnt it is not about the doing but as you say the be-ing, being who we truly are, and that is love.” So true. If we ‘do’ from a place of beingness first, life changes in extraordinary ways. From being a shy person I can now talk with anyone.

40. There was always the hope that maybe the next workshop or counsellor would provide the magic answer and I would feel “better” – I can so relate to this, but like you I also found that self-love was a great medicine and I was the only one that could administer it.

    1. Yes, only we can administer self-love to ourselves. yet we are not taught this when young – almost the opposite – especially in the UK, where a false humility is engendered. Admitting one loves oneself is tantamount to arrogance in many eyes! Looking outside ourselves for the answer is not the answer! Feeling within is…..

41. In the first few paragraphs of this blog I swear it was like you were talking about me, only difference was that you had some valid reasons for acting the way you did, I, on the other hand, blamed others, victimise myself and buried things, seemly for no good reason. What I came to though in the end after finishing the blog was that, no matter what anyones reasons for behaviors or up bringing was, Universal Medicine is always there to remind us that taking responsibility is like coming home, you can breathe again.

    1. There’s always a valid reason why we feel the way we do. Mine was maybe more obvious in your eyes? And yes, taking responsibility for our choices now is whats important. If I hadn’t discovered Universal Medicine I shudder to think of where I’d be now.

42. “I didn’t trust or value myself and looked outside of me for acknowledgement and recognition, rather than accept and know who I truly was.” This feels so familiar to me in my life right now. Looking into where we don’t trust ourselves or where we devalue ourselves, is huge and so important to feel.

43. “I now know however, that stopping and resting is important: by stopping and connecting with myself first I know that I am of far more value to myself and then to those around me – I find I then bring all of me to a situation with a good heart, rather than resentfulness or other emotions. I now bring a rested, well-cared and well-nourished woman to a situation or task at hand and I can feel the huge difference this makes.” This paragraph is a wonderfully powerful tool for those of us who drive ourselves away from our essence in the intense march to “do” and get jobs “done”!

    1. The power of ticking boxes and achieving – doing – is something generally taught in society today. Resisting this is quite a challenge and still a work in progress for me. Stopping to connect with ones innermost and honouring why we feel is indeed a powerful tool.

44. Negation begets negation, doesn’t it… And so we cannot but take deep stock of the responsibility we all hold as adults and role models today, to not bury and seek to suppress our own issues in life – for as a result of our own burying, we are far more predisposed to negate and deny the feelings of the next generations and instead, pass on our ‘solider on’ and as you’ve shared Sue, ‘you’re not sad’ mentalities, as if this is no big deal at all.
    We are all, deeply sensitive beings, and deserve to remain in connection with our sensitivity throughout the whole of our lives. Without doing so, we also deny ourselves the richness available in the reconnection to the love that has always resided within, the love of our own soul…

45. What you’ve shared here Sue about the systemic and indeed cultural negation of what someone is feeling, is hugely important. Is it any wonder that we end up with the mental and physical health conditions that we do, when there can be so much of us that is simply not met or acknowledged from when we are very young?

46. I can really relate with what you share re burying your emotions. When I was younger and was hurt of upset or … at time desperate I would cry and get so caught up in the actual action of crying and being upset I would never allow myself the space to actually feel why and get to the truth and root of this. Now if people are honest and ‘show who they truly are, warts and all’ I am inspired and this is very humbling and then gives me the space to do the same for me .. be honest and see what is there ‘warts and all’.

    1. I agree Vicky, when I see people sharing honestly from their hearts, their ‘warts’ as well as their shining moments, it offers us a great reflection to be real. There is so much pretence in the world. It feels great when people are humble – not being less – or greater – than who they truly are – inspiring.

47. This is something that I need to sit with more as I can feel it was the same for me as a child. I supressed everything I was feeling because I was often ridiculed or dismissed and I now need to go back to stopping and allowing myself to register and feel everything that I do feel and acknowledging this in myself.

48. Thank you for writing this because it shows how terrible and debilitating it is to negate what a child is feeling – my experience of this is, that the adult denies what the child feels because the adult is equally in denial. You cannot truly support another if you are in the same boat – you just share the same coping mechanism – be they functional or dysfunctional. Bringing it back to relationships and love really cuts that up into bits and pieces and brings back the ability to honour what each of us is feeling – no matter what age. To not be afraid of it but to bring understanding to why someone is feeling the way they are.

    1. So true Lucy. It is adults who have not processed their own hurts who are then unable to support others. No blame here – just an understanding because they in their turn were not supported. Time to turn things around. ‘Children are to be seen and not heard’ was a saying prevalent back in the fifities and sixties. Big ouch!

       1. Children are to be seen and not heard is instant reductionism, to shut down, close off the glorious light of a child is, in so many ways: wrong, wrong, wrong.

    2. Wise words Lucy. Beautiful described.

    3. Awesome comment Lucy, what you’ve shared is gold. It explains why we tend to deny what others are feeling if we are denying it ourselves. This highlights how important it is to take responsibility for how we live and how we feel because it can influence and impact on others.

49. Becoming aware of my movements is helping me to clock when I have gone into pushing even if it is simply in my walking. I can feel the subtle change and with that awareness I can choose to bring myself back to my rhythm and connection to my body. It is a constant choice to be present or not.

50. I can relate to much of what is shared here. It is a very familiar life story for many, one that is very disempowering, as it leaves us with a gap. A deep inner knowing, of trusting ourselves, our feelings and living in disregard of them.

    1. I so agree Leigh. Giving up on trusting what we feel is so disempowering. yet we always have a choice – something I really didn’t appreciate until attending Universal Medicine presentations.

51. We have learnt to be busy as a way to manage life, it only buys time until our bodies give in from the lack of true nurturing that we deserve.

    1. I so agree Francisco, yet the world currently demands we are seen to be busy, even if we are not! I recall being on a nursing shift in a hospital and rather than spend time talking with patients we were told to keep busy and go and clean bedpans in the sluice room. I am trusting that times have changed…., but doubt nowadays the nurses have much spare time to chat with patients, due to staff shortages in the UK anyway.

    2. Oh dear, yes Francisco – we can deny this truth all we like but our body will keep breaking down till we stop and listen and decide how we are to proceed. I am walking proof and humbly re-imprinting.

    3. So true Francisco, what you’ve shared is spot on and our world is suffering due to our busyness used as a form of distraction.

52. It is interesting to consider what all these experiences in our childhood do to our bodies and in the way we conduct our adult lives. Assumingly innocent sentences such as ‘you do not feel sad’ are actually bringing greater harm than any physical attack, like a punch or a push brings to us.

53. Thanks for this blog Sue. Although I have never been to boarding school I can imagine how very hard it must have been to be away from your family. I can certainly relate to having a drive to always try and improve myself. That sense of being good enough has been missing for a long time and we certainly don’t raise our children like that, but I feel the tide is slowly turning as many of us start to reprioritise whats important in life.

54. It is interesting the extent that we are willing to go to defend our own busy-ness in order to escape responsibility and make life about an energetic quality that will benefit humanity first and foremost, rather than the pity of the self.

55. Keeping busy can also keep us so preoccupied that it keeps us focused on what we do as a tick box exercise and not in the appreciation of the actual quality of what we bring to what we do.

56. It’s quite profound how attitudes and beliefs influence whole generations leading to issues and problems for the people involved. When I was growing up children were “seen and not heard” and weren’t really considered to be wise, to understand life, have feelings similar to adults, or have something of equal value to say. Yet as a child I did have a lot of feelings and needed someone to talk to and express how I felt, and it would have been a healing for both myself my whole family to experience this. As an adult I had a kind of back log of things I felt as a child and wasn’t able to express, which has taken some time to sort through and clear. The back log was confusing because things would come up for me that related to past events and it would take me some time to work out what and when it related to. Sometimes those trapped feelings also influenced my behaviours and decisions which was another source of confusion. Why was I acting or reacting this way? When a majority decides to view life a certain way and we don’t speak up if it doesn’t feel right, such as in the case of children being “seen and not heard”, then the outcome is very detrimental for that whole group. Expression of our truth is so vital, not just for ourselves, but for everyone.

57. Thank you Sue, there are no words to describe the magnitude of what we have been offered by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, to once again be able to reconnect to our divinity within and make our way back to soul.

58. There is always something to do and it is very easy to get caught in that and distract ourselves and not feel what our body is truly communicating with us. And in our education system the focus is still on the ‘doing’. So just like you’ve described Sue, patterns of ‘doing’ are established without care or regard for the true self of the children. The education is not likely to change but we can bring the reflection of being by feeling who we are instead of ‘doing’ to bury our feelings, and get along with what is viewed ‘normal’ in our system.

59. Busy-ness is a way of moving through life that guarantees life as a constant doing and that understands that assessing life and us has to be done through those lenses too. That is why it is so difficult to leave that way of moving behind because it makes our life pretty complicate and meaningless by choice.

60. After so much doing in my life and a habit of going to doing rather than back to being means my body is very tired. Allowing for rest times during the day if needed, even if it means going to the toilet just to take some gentle connecting breaths, is essential. Gradually as we honour where we are at our body releases more of the truth for us to deal with. This is a lovely process although at times it can seem challenging so it supports us to remember that we are never alone.

61. Thank You Sue for sharing this. It’s one thing to feel our feelings but if we don’t accept that we are feeling that way, resist or ignore these feelings then the resistance and fighting hurts us far more than facing what we feel. Without accepting our feelings we don’t get to what’s underneath them.

62. I smiled as I read your blog, as it reminded me about how I used to look out of the window at school wanting to be out on the sports field rather than stuck in the classroom, always wanting to escape what I felt. Now I realise that actually feeling what there is to be felt, allows us to be honest with what is going on and make our choices based on what we feel, is far more honest than trying to dull our light.

63. Sue your story is a study for us all to see how the systems we are born into, as well as the beliefs and ideals, contribute to us locking away not just how we feel but who we are. I still at times struggle to connect to how I feel, I know something is up but it’s a bit like a distant echo. What we really need to do is change the systems and ensure that all children and adults are held as precious, educated in self care and being connected to themselves (feelings included), and that we are all valued for who we are. After all we will always be doing many things in life, so why not make it about the being we are first and foremost?

    1. Systems definitely need to change. I feel this will come about as more and more people connect with who they truly are deeply loving precious human beings. Humanity will then see the barbarity of how we and so many live today and make the necessary changes. Being role models – without any investment in the outcome – starts this process.

64. I can very much relate to this being good by doing and how suffocating that is. We shrink and cripple our natural expression, and living like that for years widens the gap between what could be possibly lived, the light quotient and what is actually being lived, and the unsettlement we feel inside our body and is just undeniable. That I know from my own experience.

65. “doing your duty”, ‘putting up with things’, ‘getting on with it’, all recipes for a way of life that is of much lesser quality than what is possible, and also a recipe for future illness and disease and in your case a back that gave up on itself. And I know this way of life too well as that is how I lived for so many years until I came upon Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and from their Ageless Wisdom presentations I began to see that I had actually not been living for most of my life, but simply existing; and life is meant for way more than that.

    1. Yet so many live this way of life – ‘doing their duty’ etc, as you say all leading to a mere existence – a ‘getting through’ life. Meeting so many students of the Ageless Wisdom at courses and retreats etc – witnessing their love for people and the vitality in their body – is surely the way to go for the future of humanity.

66. There is so much configured in our lives to support the “ get on with it” way of thinking… So when we do take the time, to take a moment, to stop and feel, it is like we are really going against an enormous tide… And yet the connection within is profound and deep enough to support one even then.

67. A very telling account of what we do to ourselves and everyone when we put function over the human being and turn others and ourselves into robotic task masters that tick boxes and get through their to-do lists.

68. To become a human be-ing instead of existing as a human do-ing is still something I am working on…what is funny in a way, because I know that being ‘human’ is also not the last truth of my being…

69. It’s amazing what we are capable of dealing with if we allow ourselves the opportunity. All the dismissing and distracting, as well as burying we do, denies us the opportunity to engage fully with what that situation or experience could offer us.

70. It is so easy to let ourselves be tricked into believing that doing things is more important than the stop moments in between the doing. The truth is that we need both, the motion and the repose as one supports the other.

71. ‘As I cleared away these layers of hurts I have become the loving and lovable woman I always was deep down, but had lost sight of.’ Your life has become medicine and how awesome you are living you, a very beautiful woman, an inspiration for others with experiences in boarding school that definitely discourage any child to become who they are in a very drilling way.

72. A rested and rejuvenated body is one of the best ways to prepare for life and everything it can present to you in a day, and learning to BE and not always just DO is such an essential part of taking care of ourselves and our bodies.

73. If only we were taught from a very early age that it is not what we do but how we do it that matters – what a huge difference this would make.

74. I loved what you shared Sue, I can so relate to what you have shared, I was told from a young age that feelings were not to be trusted as a result what I felt was deeply buried so I went into doing, being good as a way of being. Now I am returning to feel what has been buried and allowing myself to heal. Becoming more real with feeling the true loving me is so freeing.

75. Thank you Sue, I got caught up in the doing yesterday after finding that distraction did not help me to feel any better. I had first of all had a very challenging situation to deal with which I gave up on and then allowed to colour my interaction with another person just a few minutes later. This blog reminds me and supports me to let myself feel my own hurt and to understand the hurts of others so that I can leave them be and not take them on as if, energetically, they were my own.

76. Sue I have been recently pondering on why it’s so hard for me to be in contact with how I truly feel. I may be “off” for days but getting to what’s going on within me is like gradually moving closer to a distant echo. How you have explained the process of burying what we truly feel in childhood to be “a good girl” makes perfect sense, in this we lose touch with our authentic selves, with our expression, and with our essence. We literally bury our authentic selves and do not have an opportunity to access healing by bringing how we feel out into the open. Thank goodness for the chance to do this now with the support of Universal Medicine Therapies. Much appreciation for the insights you have given me today.

77. Learning to take ones own healing into ones own hands is one of the most profound principles that Universal Medicine offers people. Realising that our daily life can be lived medicinally is a huge wakeup call. From the way we move, eat and breathe; it all has an effect on our wellbeing and healing.

78. Busyness for the sake of not having space to feel is one of the greatest plagues of modern times. I know I convince myself that I am busy and have so much to do. But this doesn’t need to be done in the energy of busyness. It is a way for us to avoid feeling ourselves, what is going on around us and the truth of life. We seem to think this ‘ignorance is bliss’ but we miss out on the depths of feeling life as it can and will someday be.

    1. Well said Fiona – it’s like busyness is the excuse for not having to look at and be responsible for the quality of HOW we are doing what we do. It’s so great to have a full life and everything we do gives us an opportunity to bring more of our being-ness into it.

       1. That’s a great way to look at busyness – it’s the perfect excuse to not have to take responsibility for the quality that governs our lives. It’s so important to note that life is not just about what we do, but the quality, integrity and love that we do it with.

79. Systems, like the educational one, are set up to work in specific ways that requires the total submission/alignment of those that inhabit it (in this case of the students and teachers) in order to get the results it was set to produce. Boarding schools are simply a more obvious and more extreme case of how unloving education is, how much parents are exempted from any responsibility, how much the students have to fight against themselves in terms of what they feel the system is doing to them, etc.

80. Putting on a brave face and soldiering on regardless only buries our hurts and wounds deeper into the body and most modalities and techniques might alleviate the symptoms and issues for a while, but I have also found that true healing is only possible with the Esoteric Therapies as presented by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.

81. I love how the connection to our bodies opens up a deeper sense of awareness and we can see the old patterns and behaviours that no longer serve us and it allows us to let go and re-connect to who we naturally are. Thank you Sue.

82. What might life be like if we learn to nurture the ‘the beautiful innocent sensitive child’ rather than bury it? Sensitivity is innate in us all so it feels much more loving to embrace it and work with it rather than shut it down. Perhaps we are all sensitive for a very good reason. Maybe our feelings connect us to deeper levels of truth than our thoughts? Worth exploring in my experience.

83. I just love the title of this blog. Being not doing encapsulates so much truth for me in that life is about who we are first and not what we do. Life will be very different when we learn to honour the truth of our beingness rather than place value primarily on doing-ness.

84. Great to read Sue, I can relate to the doing also as a form of distraction from really feeling. So much joy to feel in learning to be a human-be-ing feeling what we are feeling, healing what needs to be healed and loving who we truly are, just beautiful.

85. Brilliant sharing Sue, after a life time of distraction you have now a lifetime of being you in all that may be, the world is infinitely greater with you being you.

86. We certainly have made a habit of rewarding niceness and politeness and dodging truth. The problem is this culture is infectious as it gets recognition – but it does not get evolution. It is so important we understand the difference and how holding back from the truth can actually harm us. We all have a choice in every moment and we need to start taking responsibility for those choices – if we bring truth to this rather than box ticking Or niceness, then we have an opportunity to cut the trend of just being polite.

87. It is amazing how easy it is to go into doing to please others rather than knowing that the most important thing is the quality we bring with what we do. Otherwise we can do the most amazing things but they will not feel great and will not ask others to be more of the love they are. After all we are here to remember we are love and are not here to simply lead a better life or make things more comfortable for ourselves. Universal Medicine has been instrumental in showing me that we are far more than simply what we do and that everything we do comes with an energy – one which either supports people to be more of the love they are or one which says it is ok to continue living in the mess the world currently is in. The choice is now firmly ours.

88. Very Cool Sue. Universal Medicine has most definitely helped me to get out of the ‘poor me’ frame of living my life. Now whenever I’m dealing with a difficult or emotional situation, I am able to really appreciate my part in it. Being responsible for the choices I make has had the biggest impact on my life to date.

89. “I am more fun to be with“ – such small line – but what an impact that has on life quality, because this applies for yourself as for others.

    1. Those words jumped out for me too Sandra. A few words but with a very powerful message, one that any of us who feel weighed down by the challenges of life could relate to, as life has become way more serious than it could actually be; the fun gets buried under all the daily doings and everyone misses out.

90. When we get caught up in all the ‘doing’ we avoid the responsibility to be who we truly are.

91. We hold such a huge responsibility with raising children, whether we are a parent or not, we all have a responsibility to allow children to have a voice and understand that they are completely aware of energy and what is going on around them and within them.

92. One of the most life changing aspects that is offered by Serge Benhayon is the fact that our hurts are not who we are. Yes they are there for us to feel, but I think the majority of the people on earth don’t want to feel them because they think, deep down, it’s who they are. Feeling the truth and knowing the wisdom of who we truly are, Sons of God, makes it very doable to feel the stuff (hurts) in the way of us expressing the Divinity we are actually from. We are not our hurts.

    1. So worth emphasizing Rachael – ‘we are not our hurts’. When we start to deal with them our inner wisdom and love can be revealed – our divine aspect ( which is there all along).

       1. yes and it is so freeing to know our hurts are not who we are, and in this, it is then easier to address them.

93. It’s incredible how valuing what we do over what we are is so deeply ingrained in my behaviours. I have been building self love and getting to know myself for sometimes, but still catch myself in this.

94. We are multi-dimensional beings but currently we have most of life set up to ask us to be purely functional. If we repress our feelings we are pushing down an integral part of who we are and that leaves a gap in us that hurts. Universal Medicine is a brilliant and priceless aid in reconnecting with the All that we are and feel in everyday living!

95. I love the honesty in your sharing Sue, it is so freeing to truly express what we feel regardless of what is socially accepted or expected. There is nothing worse than sweeping things under the carpet for whether you like it or not there comes a time when you need to address what is there. How gorgeous you have been able to do this with the support you have had from Universal Medicine to become the amazing woman you now are.

96. The reality for a young person ‘not being met’ is very real and very hurtful, it gets written off by adults because we know how harsh and unforgiving the world can be – so better off to toughen our children up than connect with our lovely nature and make things how they truly ought to be.

    1. Yes that is what is going on and I have caught myself doing this too at times. Yet almost no-one realises that we could also change how we are with each other instead of preparing each other for the ‘worst’ which would be making so much more sense. So not accepting less than we deserve.

97. although things may have evolved a little bit in our modern day education system, things are more “modern” and less harsh on young people in many ways it is still the same. Children are expected to do, do, do so much and if we gave them 5 minutes and didnt impose on them in any way, we would see extraordinary intelligence.

98. I had never considered that boarding school had contributed to my being a ‘doing’ person. I can see now that the way the system was organised did have us ‘doing’ all the time and there was definitely an ethic of duty and obedience to authority and it certainly did not encourage us to feel – that somehow was looked down upon as being weak and inconsequential. No wonder it was such a hard place to be in and no wonder most of us contracted in this environment.

99. It is really time to change our relationship with the doing – this is old fashion – lets adore the being as it is so much more fun.

100. As another boarding school survivor I can really relate to burying my hurts under a busy ‘doing’ persona and whilst Universal Medicine has supported me to uncover and heal many of my issues I have recently become aware that I can still get into doing rather than being so this is really supportive to read today.

     1. It is so interesting that the momentum of doing gets so ingrained in us at boarding school. Every moment was organized by bells; activities to stop one from feeling the reality of the situation. Yet let’s appreciate that we can now actually know when we are in doing mode, and choose to return to being first.

101. Emotional wellbeing is so important; if we ignore our feelings and emotions then we have no way of processing them and so they just get buried in our body, less in our awareness perhaps but affecting us none the less. Developing greater connection and awareness of my body has helped me greatly in being more aware of how I’m really feeling and how to respond to those feelings in a harmonious way.

102. To truly surrender – so important – yet I have only allowed myself to go there in the past few years – and now am becoming more consistent with that. It is a forever deepening.

103. There is so much that I could relate to in what you have shared here. Even though the story was different, the underlying feelings and what presented for you, definitely I could relate to. “Being myself now means sensing what is right for me in every moment, listening to my body and not overriding it.” Having a history of ‘not’ listening to one’s body, means that it is very easy to override what is felt and to not deeply honour what is indeed felt first. I am much better than I used to be, but I do still have to make the mechanical choice to self honour over not doing so. This is a continuing daily choice and awareness building.

     1. So often we are taught to override what our body is telling us. Serge Benhayon has changed that paradigm for us all. it is up to us to choose – honouring our body and our feelings – or ignore them and therefore suffer the consequences. We can then end up with illness and disease going through the roof, in their efforts to clear and heal us.

104. We have come a long way in accepting that we need to deal with what we are feeling in order to heal the things that we are holding onto and that we feel hurt by, but we still have a long way to go. What is presented by Universal Medicine is an array of techniques and tools to heal what is often considered un-healable and accepted as “just who we are”. This is not so, it just takes the loving support of one who has walked down that path to show the way.

     1. I agree, uncovering who we truly are takes commitment and a consistency. Having a role model who inspires – aka Serge Benhayon – and who has walked the path before us – allows anyone who chooses to heal their hurts to do so.

105. I only learnt to feel my feelings in my 30’s after a diagnosis of cancer. Before then, I hadn’t allowed myself the space to let myself feel what was really going on for me and I got very good at burying what came up and used all sorts of things including food, alcohol, drugs and then later meditation and yoga to check out from what I was feeling. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer I knew that something needed to change and I finally started to allow myself to be vulnerable. I now know that being vulnerable is a true gift that I offer myself and others as it is through being vulnerable that we can heal.

     1. Vulnerability isn’t valued in our society yet. We are taught to be ‘strong and brave’, especially in the UK – when fragility and vulnerability are perceived as a sign of weakness. Yet, as you say Donna, it is through being vulnerable, open and honest about our hurts and illness that we can heal.

106. Beautifully expressed Sue . And goes to show that, as children we always knew something was wrong , we just didn’t know how to deal with it.

107. Your words “really hoping that the teacher would ask me what was wrong.” really resonated with me as I read you blog once again. I can remember so many times, when I had retreated into myself, hoping someone would ask me what was wrong with me, and of course no one did, so I retreated further burying the true me under more layers of hurts and undealt with emotions; I had no idea how to express what I was feeling. From my own experience it is so clear that if we do not allow children to freely express how they are feeling, listen to what they have to say and honour that, we will continue to have more generations that will have no idea who they really are and continue to stumble and struggle through life.

108. I, like you Sue and many of the people who have commented, have been taught that showing emotions and feeling was frowned upon and seen as a weakness, rather than as something that could be acknowledged. It’s sad that this way of life has been taught over many generations with the impact spreading across the lifespan. What a difference it would make to the world if we had the nurturing that we all hunger for right from the very beginning!

109. Thank you for sharing this Sue, I found while re-reading it that this too has been my experience of Universal Medicine and it really brings home the fact that nothing on the outside can truly heal and clear the issues that remain within. It’s an inside job and when approached from the deepest, truest part of us then we get to experience that we have everything within us to understand and deal with whatever is before us in life.

110. When we are in our beingness, this is the greatest reflection we can give to the world. When we bring who we are in all that we do, that our doingness carries a love, a stillness and an absolute truth in it. And oh so much beauty.

111. How harmful it is when we deny the truth of what children are expressing, probably because it actually makes us feel uncomfortable and so we want to cut the conversation short for fear of them exposing us even more. From this shutting down children slowly learn that it is not safe to express what they are feeling and seeing, and their doubt about the truth of what they are sharing begins, followed by the shutting down of their precious expression, and with it their true essence. Thankfully it is never lost but sits there waiting to be reclaimed somewhere down through the years.

     1. So true Ingrid. Allowing children – anyone – to express their true feelings can bring up unresolved issues for the listener. Rather than taking this as an opportunity to deal with those hurts they may be pushed under the carpet and prevented from their outlet. The trouble being that they remain festering, like an unlanced boil, that can contribute to ill-health later on – for both parties.

112. Beautiful Sue! While I didn’t attend boarding school etc, I can relate to a lot of what you say about not having feelings acknowledged as a child and so learnt to bury them and get on with the ‘doing’. Universal Medicine was the first place where I found anything that made sense. There is a lot to unravel but it is happening and as the layers are coming off, I am recognising more about feelings and emotions and about the stories that they represent.

     1. Wouldn’t it be great if we were encouraged to get on with ‘being’ instead of ‘doing’? Taking the time to listen and respond to each other with love and understanding, rather than react from emotions. Many children are so gentle and loving – and have no concept of time – walking with a toddler is an experience, investigating the tiniest beetle on a path can take a while!! Yet as they get to school the behaviour to do something and not be lazy gets ingrained and we end up with a society of people ‘doing’ rather than ‘being’ who they naturally are.

113. Your story sounds so familiar Sue, and what a relief it was to find Universal Medicine, an organisation presenting truth and offering guidance and support in helping us all connect to our true inner essence.

114. Not allowing a child to feel what they’re feeling leads – as you’ve shared here Sue – to them feeling worthless and unable to trust what they’re feeling and then looking outside of themselves for validation through recognition thus creating a dysfunctional society of human do-ings. Thankfully Universal Medicine is here showing us the way to reconnect to ourselves so that we can learn to be before we do

     1. Yes absolutely Deborah, yet you forget children have this innate ability to feel and know. The education system currently has no investment in appreciating this however, and children become cogs in a wheel to churn out knowledge, when wisdom could be the name of the game. And how different our world would look!

115. By taking the time to recognise the quality of who you are, you are giving yourself permission to become more aware of your place in life, the purpose that you have and how you are a part of the greater whole.

116. Thank you Sue for a great blog I really loved reading it, it reminded me of my own life, being told at a young age that feelings can’t be trusted. Your were expected to just get on with life, as a result I went into the doing in a big way. Now, like you, I am learning to connect to the being and finding under the layers, a beautiful and loving women.

117. Thank you for your account of burying deep hurts as a child. It’s interesting to observe in ourselves just how strongly we hide our hurts under layers of behavioural protection which can then become our established life patterns. Great that you’ve been able to clear away the layers and reacquaint yourself with your real you.

118. There have been many times when I have been caught up with doing and been oblivious of the effect that it was having on my body, and I just continued to exhaust myself. Thankfully now I know the importance of listening to what our body tells us.

     1. Before I came across Universal Medicine, I was always doing something no matter how tired I felt, I never wanted to stop, stand still and feel the emptiness that I could feel.
        Yes Sally I too just kept on going despite feeling exhausted prior to Universal Medicine.

119. Before I came across Universal Medicine, I was always doing something no matter how tired I felt, I never wanted to stop, stand still and feel the emptiness that I could feel.

120. ‘ Life was about “doing your duty”, regardless of how we felt or how our bodies were feeling.’ I remember this all too well and still get caught in it at times and the potential guilt or arrogance of rebellion that can follow if we don’t do what is expected of us. And how I so appreciate when I see this playing out and stay in the power of the Truth.

121. I enjoyed reading this again Sue, and it still surprises me of how people see boarding school as a good thing or character building. I just couldn’t image sending a child as young as ten off to school and away from the family, along with having to support the younger children. The fact that you have finally started to deal with your hurts and take responsibility for your own life is a miracle in it’s self, as there are many these days who feel trapped with their emotions which then play out in their every day.

122. Thanks Sue, for me responsibility for myself and the way I live was something so foreign to me. Now I can see that the more loving I am with myself the more that way of being filters into all other aspects of my life and the chioces I make

123. Having very recently dug up some of those feelings similar to what you’ve mentioned here Sue I now understand how blinding it is to hold onto these hurts. Looking back in hindsight just from this morning it’s like if those hurts are held onto they color our world for the worse. To be able to great underneath them, underneath something we are taught to attach onto so tightly and never let go is the greatest healing I have ever experienced in my whole life, of which I have Universal Medicine to thank for showing me and many others how it’s possible. Now I can say that my life is not in that same state as it was when the hurts were formed, I do have love around me, the love within is not being shut down 24/7 but growing the more I choose to feel that it is me and not the hurt. The love within us shows us that energy is constantly moving, we are not who we were back then and holding ourselves in that doesn’t half hurt!

124. So honest and vulnerable yet very strong writing, Sue. The knowing who we are -Sons of God- and connecting to our true nature, is changing our way of life, our perception. We still do things, but by bringing this knowing into doing we change it into being. Alchemists we are!

125. It is so true – the being is more important than the doing. Once we get this right, the doing will follow naturally. Thanks Sue for this amazing blog, a great reminder, to honor our stillness and joy within us.

126. I loved reading your blog Sue, simple yet so powerful – such an awesome reminder to take into my day thank you.

127. Universal Medicine has allowed me to come to an understanding of life that is loving and valuing of me – no matter what choices I made along the way. The force of the temporal world is felt harshly especially when young, but the light of the soul is always there. The ‘Doing’ seemingly meets the needs that arise and brings recognition and value when one feels most vulnerable. Thank you Sue for sharing your experience. Your comment – ‘You could say I am no longer a human do-ing, but have become a human be-ing’, says it all. A Beautiful blog of loving and healing self.

128. Beautiful Sue, very inspirational. From being a girl who learned to pass with nice/kind behavior (which came from disconnection with herself) to learning how to trust yourself (knowing who she is, being connected with herself)… I mean that is a big shift and makes a huge difference. You can see how this two learnings and up so differenly in life. i know mine.

129. Learning to feel everything thats going on in the body is a far more self caring and evolutionary way to live life and like you Sue I am also gratefull for finding Universal Medicine as they are responsible for guiding me to a true, healthy and meaningful life

130. There is immense power, quality and depth in being, not to mention God.

131. “by stopping and connecting with myself first I know that I am of far more value to myself and then to those around me “. So many people in this world live and believe that doing things for other people is far more important that taking deep of care themselves, their own quality and health and well being. Yet they are unwell, a mess or physically exhausted – so in truth what use and what quality of care is this offering others, and also what is it reflecting to the world? That it’s okay to give up on yourself. It’s almost like we grow up being led to believe looking after ourselves is a foreign conception, with many people saying I’m fine, or get on with it – but what you have shared is immense and will change the world, it is the true quality and care we have with ourselves first, that will offer true lasting change for all others.

     1. A lot of people and especially women, at least that is what I experience in my working life as a nurse, say, I cannot help doing, that is my character, my nature. Their bodies are literaly screaming for attention and they are not able to choose for loving themselves. So I agree Gyl what Sue has shared is gold, we do matter and to choose the quality of being and to take lovingly caring for ourselves is a powerful reflection for all others. I am not always choosing to be aware of this fact but for sure it is of great importance to appreciate this way of living, the connection we have with God.

        1. Appreciation is key – appreciating everything – ourselves, our relationships with others, the divine, the Hierarchy – who I seem to thank every day for something at the moment, and of course Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon.

        2. This is very true. If we do not make the time to build a connection with ourselves, one that we typically loose from when we are young, we tend to fill up our lives with fixing, helping others or the opposite, we protect, dismiss and create barriers to not be all of who we are. So learning to stop and connect with ourselves is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and others.

132. Thank you Sue , what you have shared is big and many can relate too and that includes me. Isn’t it fantastic that we have Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and with our healing we can be of service to all of humanity.

133. ‘Being myself now means sensing what is right for me in every moment, listening to my body and not overriding it. I now know there is much more honesty in this way of being.’ – this is so true Sue. Thank you for this powerful reminder. That is only through being honest with ourselves that we can live in truth who we essentially are.

134. Be-ing is so much simpler than do-ing as it requires no result or completion and simply values all that is already there.

135. It is interesting to reflect back on school days and our younger lives. I too remember playing my guitar and making-up sad, worried, awful feeling songs to express my misery of ‘having’ to live with such pain. I didn’t know what it was, but if I did, I certainly wasn’t game enough to tell almost everyone I knew that they were doing ‘life wrong’. I’d draw abstract bizarre looking animals with angry faces, I’d self-loath and beat myself to a pulp instead, but then, I started outwardly expressing it; by then having figured out that excellence and the recognition that resulted was closer to the good feelings than anything else I could find for myself. A life of doing was it, so I eluded myself to. The doing brought much praise and it doubled as a blanket, for as long as I was busy with almost anything, there wasn’t enough room for reflection, expressing in song, or art, or walking the dog by myself – allowing a few tears to fall from my eyes as a means to stay connected to what I knew wasn’t right. There’s still much to do in my day, today, but the intention is to foster quality in all that I do; there is so much greater presence – choosing to be present allows me to understand my ‘home truths’ or where’re ‘I’m at’ daily and this to me is a healthier way of life, work and play filled with me love and truth.

136. Whoa! This could be one of the most useful blogs we have ever
     discovered about this subject. Spectacular. I’m also an expert in this topic so I could understand your effort.

137. So true Sue, I can remember that solution at boarding school in the 60s “We just “got on with it”. The institutions of education were always challenging and how you were feeling was an inconvenience and something to be suppressed and ‘got over’. The teachings of the Ageless Wisdom are a breath of fresh air and I have an unquenchable thirst to feel and know all there is to know with a knowing that I have known it all along.

     1. I so agree Mary, once I came across the Ancient Wisdom teachings it was like my body said ‘I know this’. They also make so much sense of the world.

     2. While I’m not quite of the era of boarding schools in the 60’s, I can feel that the ‘just get on with it’ approach to life still applies today. No matter how stressed, tired, anxious, exhausted etc. we are, in many situations, we are encouraged to simply ‘get on with life’ and in many cases, we herald and celebrate this (i.e. mothering is a classic example) and even compare how much we are able to do and get on with compared to everyone else. The teachings of the Ageless Wisdom are indeed are a breath of fresh air in re-learning how to ‘be’ first, before we start to ‘do’.

        1. Being encouraged to ‘get on with life’ as you say, is endemic in society today. People push themselves so hard and are exhausted. No wonder coffee shops proliferate everywhere; sugar and salt intake is increasing. If we all took good care of ourselves, treated ourselves gently and with love and understanding, then maybe the health of the population would benefit and life would be less of a struggle for so many.

138. “I am unlocking those buried emotions, feeling them, then re-connecting to what is actually true – hence they are being truly healed this time.” This statement belies all with the commitment you have expressed Sue Q. This is simply how we all have to return back to the truth of who we are – and it is so magnificently simple.

139. This is an awesome blog Sue, thank you so much for writing it. When I read “I would cry and bemoan my fate to anyone who would listen, feeling sorry for myself and becoming a victim,” I winced, I can feel that too – how freeing it is when we start to take some responsibility and connect to our true innate loving nature once more and truly living the human-being not the human-doing 🙂

140. Sue Q, when I read your story and it is amazing, I just don’t understand how this is not front page news. We have all searched and struggled with so much, and yes, buried our issues to the point where illness and disease are overwhelming our medical systems. Yet here we are, a group of people living amazing, calm, responsible lives without the angst that plagues so many, without the dramas that upset their lives, with more love and harmony than we have ever had before. Who doesn’t want this? What has become our way of life is truly beautiful. All we can do is live it. This is glorious.

141. “I now know that the true me was hiding underneath all the emotions and hurts from my past, buried deep inside. As I cleared away these layers of hurts I have become the loving and lovable woman I always was deep down, but had lost sight of.” As I have found, like you Sue, all other healing modalities and spiritual approaches did not resolve problems and if anything buried them deeper into the body. Their approach is to attempt to fix ‘the problem’ while with Universal Medicine the approach is not to focus on the problem but to re-connecting to the ‘true me’ and in doing so discard the layers of emotions and hurts. This is true healing.

142. I notice that when I just take the time, and this does not have to be that long, sometimes a few minutes, to just feel what there is to feel, for instance some sadness that comes up, acknowledge it, tell myself, ok there is some sadness, that is actually makes life so much more simple. Like you, I am learning to be more and to feel what there is to feel and to also express this. It is this openness and being honest that truly supports me.

143. Sue I could feel your sadness when you spoke of your experience at Boarding School. How you learned to just get on with it and not express your true feelings is something that many of us were taught, even those of us who didn’t go away to school, in those days. I find the thought of young ones going to school and only being allowed to see the Parents for 3 days a term, a barbaric practise, why have children if someone else rears them for you? It is lovely that you have been supported by Universal Medicine to share your feelings and grow the Love that is inside you by just being you.

144. Sue to not be heard or met as a young child must have been terrible. I taught English in China for 2 months at a boarding school and Sunday afternoons were so distressing seeing the little 5 year olds crying and not wanting their parents to leave. Some of the older children believed their parents didn’t want them, hence the reason they were sent to boarding school. Universal Medicine and the Practioner’s show nothing but love and support and absolutely no judgement towards you and this makes for a safe environment to allow yourself to look at your hurts and begin to heal. I love your comment – Human doing to Human being.

145. Your honesty and the healing you have come to with this is really beautiful to read, and your commitment to taking responsibility, deeply inspiring. It’s amazing how we get fooled into thinking that life is about doing rather than expressing the quality of who we are in everything we do. Such a clever but insipid bastardisation that keeps us from ourselves, and each other.

146. Yes I feel a lot of your generation’s parents really did not know how to deal with feelings when expressed and felt the way was to just deny them and hope they would go away.
     It is very sad when these natural feelings are shut down and not recognised for what we are trying to say.

147. Rereading your blog Sue takes me back to another time where feelings and emotions were shut down and buried; residing in the body; until surfacing many years later in the form of illness and disease. In my case breast cancer, followed by lymphoma and osteoporosis.
     “I am unlocking those buried emotions, feeling them, then re-connecting to what is actually true – hence they are being truly healed this time” What you have expressed here is awesome, a wise and true recipe for living life today.

148. From a very young age we are taught that no one is interested in our tender, amazing divinity, and that we are rewarded and loved for what we can do and achieve. We learn to turn our backs on the love and beauty that we naturally are,
     and learn to fit into a false world, where everyone else is playing the same game of role-playing.

149. “feelings were denied by parents and teachers”
     I can so relate to this Sue, when I read it my body tensed and hardened as I remembered being totally shut down as a young child.
     It is indeed a blessing that we have Universal Medicine to support us get back in touch with our feelings and bodies.

150. This is a superb blog Sue, boarding school is such a shocking thing for one so young, I was thirteen when I was sent off and that was bad enough, I had to toughen up really quick. Booze and blues clubs was my escape a bit later in life. It’s a pity we have to go on such a journey to get back to where or who we are in the first place.

151. Choosing to deepening the connection to our bodies is a way of taking responsibility of our own healing as it allows us to unlock and release that which has been weighting us down.

     1. Yes, connecting with our bodies is the way forward. Yet how many of us are encouraged to feel how our bodies are, let alone feel the energy of ourselves and those around us? However really young children do this so naturally, expressing how they feel, until they are taught to ‘ be brave’ etc and all the other trappings of a so-called civilised society, which is anything but.

     2. Yes Francisco – in the past I asked myself sometimes, how does it work to take responsibility. And now I know, part of taking responsibility is to listen to our body, without the body, no responsibility is possible.

152. I can add ‘nice’ to that list as well. That is still taking a lot of unpicking…. When I was alone at school I always thought it was just me, and everything became about me too……the ‘poor me’ syndrome. I so love Universal Medicine because the support is always there for everyone, regardless of their situation, colour, background etc. Discovering through these blogs that many of us have similar feelings (despite dissimilar experiences) has enabled me to feel the equality that we all have and deep down that we are all the same in our essence.

153. Sue I can feel such Grace in your article – truly inspiring. Thanks to the teachings of Universal Medicine I have come to better understand what it means to just BE with myself. ‘Doing’ has lead my life in the past, but slowly I am learning that I am much, much more than a ‘doer.’ When people hear the words ‘Just Be’ it sounds like you are doing nothing and down right boring, however I have come to understand and experience that this is not the case – that it’s an energy with movement involved and an exquisite grace that moves with me when I can hold that connection with my own inner love.

154. Wow Sue, what a story. It would have been hard enough to be at school so sad and miserable let alone to then put on a good face for the younger boarders.. Gosh. It’s awesome to read how you have changed since having such deep sadness in the past. Universal Medicine is such an amazing organisation, I’m sure you were supported along the whole way.

155. Sue, it feels like if you have described my way of life in the past. Already your first sentence “For as long as I can recall I’ve kept myself busy.” says it all. The “doing” was my drug – I kept myself busy 24/7 to avoid to feel myself. I was so separated from myself, unbelievable, but that was my way of being in the past. I’m so glad, that thanks to Universal Medicine and all other students / practitioners I’m learning more and more, to re-connect to myself and to my body. Thanks for this amazing blog Sue.

156. Sue thank you for sharing so openly your story. A beautiful testament of how powerful it is that when we choose to heal our hurts the beauty we are within, which has always been, is revealed. And so we can then live our lives in response with our connection to this rather reacting to the world around us.

157. Wow Sue, Thank you! What a healing it has been to read this. I love this “a human be-ing”, it says it all. You are a testament to Universal Medicine and true change. And what a joy it feels like, to let go of our old issues and to feel more and more of our-selves. I love this.

158. Finding Universal Medicine felt like coming home- I so know this feeling and all you summed up here what changed for you- same here. 🙂

159. Sue Q, I’ve been through the boarding school system and can relate to everything you have said. English boarding schools were a tough place with no room for tears and never was this sadness ever addressed or spoken about. You learn to get over it as best you can, hiding how you really feel because that was the way it was.

     1. Yes and for boys my feeling it was even worse. My Dad said it was ‘the making of him’ – something I doubt. Burying feelings can lead to illness – physical and mental, let alone the emotional outcome that needs to be dealt with because of avoiding these feelings.

        1. A very timely re-read for me sueq2012, especially your comment. Yesterday I had a close up example of how children, especially little boys, have their feelings denied and then of course they eventually learn to bury them. A little boy, around two years old, turned around and ran into the end of my shopping trolley. It was obvious that he had not only hurt himself but had had a fright. His mother picked him up as I was checking to see if he was alright and even though the tears were rolling down his face, she was ignoring them saying – “he’s fine, he’s a bruiser” – whereas I all I could see was a tender little boy who was hurting on the inside as well on the outside. I said a few gentle words acknowledging that I knew how he was feeling and the look he gave me was full of sadness.
           Multiply this by all the other similar events that will occur in his, and all children’ s formative years, it is no wonder they learn to bury how they truly feel, only for it to come out in a myriad of behaviours and mental and physical issues as they grow. It is our responsibility to allow all children the freedom to express with honesty – they know what’s true, so why do we deny them this expression?

     2. Thanks for sharing Matthew.. It really is interesting to me to hear what boarding school was like for you and Sue. I have never been but I like having the insight to know what environments some people are living in.

160. Reading your blog Sue of your childhood years and school, I felt the harshness of my own childhood. When we stop being busy all the time and simply be, there is a backlog of feelings there. I also feel we can be still and present in our bodies even in the busyness of life.

     1. So true Thomas, when we stop, the undealt-with back log appears for us to heal – a bit like week-end head-aches. I used to resist the simplicity of just being , because I preferred – (or thought I did) the numbing effect of my busy-ness. I now know when I go for distraction and stimulation then I am ‘out’ and not connecting with the true me.

     2. I had a similar childhood and I moulded myself into a ‘reasonable’ child, keeping out of trouble, ever the dependable one, becoming but a shadow of myself. With the work of Universal Medicine I have reconnected with my buried feelings. Of course I’m still evolving but I love to watch myself unfolding the layers that used to hide my true self.

        1. Its so beautiful to see ourselves unfurling – like a rose coming into bloom, and, as you say, we are forever evolving. Gorgeous to see your true petals unfolding Patricia.

161. Awesome Sue, that you didn’t choose to hold onto these hurts when you were presented with another way. An experience like yours could easily turn anyone into a very resentful and bitter person for the rest of their life. What a great reflection you are for anyone who has experienced a similar time growing up.

     1. Yes, we have a choice in every moment. We can choose to hang on to old hurts and, as you say, become bitter and resentful, or choose to deal with them and move on. Bearing grudges serves no-one – least of all ourselves.

     2. I agree with you Elodie, what Sue has experienced and has been able to turn around and heal is truly awesome and inspirational for others.

     3. Yes Elodie, a beautiful inspiration. Thank you Sue.

162. Sue you bring up something that is rarely talked about which is how we bury what is going on. It is the out of sight, out of mind kind of attitude. However anything that is buried (avoided/not dealt with) sits there still affecting us. And then it comes up again, it is exactly how we left it only now it has changed, morphed and usually become bigger and more complicated than what was first presented

     1. Yes burying what we truly feel is an option, but as you say, it will only re-emerge at a later date – to be dealt with – or not. But burying an issue still affects us – a bit like having a grain of sand in a shoe – not majorly uncomfortable, but niggling enough so that we know it is there until we clear it out. We always have a choice, to address our hurts – or not – but if we don’t, what sort of a life are we leading and how are we affecting not only ourselves but everyone we meet?

     2. I agree Vicky, this is a topic that needs to be explored more. The way we bury issues and pretend they are being dealt with because we are busy ‘doing’.

        1. ‘Busy’ is a great distraction for burying our issues, and in my own experience, I found that the more I wanted to bury my issues, the busier I got!

163. This is so huge what you have shared here Sue, we all get on the treadmill of being the human do-ing, not the human be-ing. We are so used to being rewarded for all that we do, that we don’t tend to even know how to ‘be’. I certainly didn’t know at all who I was when I wasn’t trying to do something, or gain recognition for something as well. It is through understanding more about myself, connecting with who I am, slowing down, not needing to get somewhere fast, building acceptance into my rhythm and daily life. This is been extremely helpful in choosing to be, rather than do!

     1. Acceptance and appreciation has and is showing me a way forward too Raegan. The human do-ing often wins out still, but I am so much more aware of my beingness – and connecting with my body first.

        1. The beings seems to grow stronger each time we take the time to develop it. Its a constant growing process.

           For example when growing a flower from seed you have to be constantly watering the seedling consistently over a period of time. If we decide to forget or not water the seedling it is likely to die and the process will have to begin from scratch.

           Much like our commitment to our beingness in the early stages.

        2. Luke I absolutely love your comment about the flower growing process. I can see how I have done that so many times.. stopped watering the flower and then once it dies I am thinking I am hopeless at this whole ‘being’ process but really I just have not been consistent with my attention to it. Thank you so much Luke.

164. “bemoan my fate to anyone who would listen, feeling sorry for myself and becoming a victim” – oooohhhh this hurts- to see it written and feel its truth….

165. Sue, Thank you for sharing your story of how you went from a ‘human do-ing’ to a ‘human be-ing’. I too recall that when I was growing up the “focus was on the system and getting things done by a certain time rather than considering how we pupils were feeling”. As you say, life was about “doing your duty” and just getting on with it. I also brought these patterns into my adult life. Thanks to meeting Serge Benhayon and attending his presentations I have been able to see these patterns of behaviour and through making very different choices, I have now become the “loving and lovable woman I always was deep down, but had lost sight of”.

166. I have been so busy being a human do-ing that I just did not realize that in fact I am a human be-ing. I love to discover the stillness and joy that just being brings to my life.

     1. Yes currently there is a misnomer as we all seem to be human do-ings! Lets return to our beingness – simply being all of who we truly are – the stillness, truth, love, harmony and joy that resides within.

        1. It is like we just need to claim the fact we are human beings. It’s very simple! Thanks Sue for sharing, I never went to boarding school but was offered it as a teenager but my body knew that was not an option for me and I wouldn’t even go into the building! Those who I know who did attend boarding school all give very similar accounts to you, but regardless of school etc I too have been all you have described and are eternally grateful to Universal Medicine to now be living in a very different way to what I was.

     2. I had no real concept of what it was meant to just be. It made no sense to me. What was the point. That has changed.

167. “We just “got on with it”. Patterns of ‘doing’ became established, without care or regard for my true self. I learned to put everyone else first – ­to do nothing and just be with myself was called laziness.”- I can relate to this growing up, Sue.
     My parents were always “doing”. If you were not exhausted from a day’s work then you didn’t work hard enough.
     Thankfully, since Universal medicine and the wisdom Serge Benhayon has shared with us, I have learnt the importance of stopping and truly listening to my body and honouring it, through self care, and self nurturing more. I now feel more vital and joy full.

     1. I can relate here Loretta, and in the working hard it was a matter of trying to get everything down now/today/yesterday which would of course impact on the quality but more important our bodies. Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon has brought to the surface the simplicity of being in your body when you work and enjoy you while you move. Yoga of action this is called and is a great everyday exercise.

     2. Yes, stopping and truly listening to our body’s requirements is so important on a daily or even hourly basis. Our choices make us who we are, Self-care, self-love and self-nurturing are really important, yet not taught by parents or teachers, because they weren’t taught it either. I have such deep appreciation for Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for presenting us with a different way of living that enables us to live a more vital and full life, as you say Loretta.

168. ‘The focus was on the system and getting things done by a certain time rather than considering how we pupils were feeling, as if that didn’t matter. I therefore felt I didn’t matter. Life was about “doing your duty”, regardless of how we felt or how our bodies were feeling.’ This is an attitude I grew up with too. Just grin and bear it. It seems so cruel now looking back. The getting things done by a certain time is so prevalent in our workplace where there are targets to reach. I see people completely driven by these targets which are often totally unrealistic. In this they push to fullfil the requirements of head office and run themselves ragged. There is little concern about their own needs, rushing around, not taking breaks and grabbing a bite to eat, if anything, to keep them going. Bringing the focus back to self-care and freeing oneself from the dictates of the system and the fear that this can invoke is vital if we value our health and the well-being of society.

169. What you have written about here Sue, is how I too have often dealt with life, getting caught in the doing and not truly feeling what is there to be felt. I can feel from your expression the powerful shift that has come from beginning to live as you, in the moment and not in the “doing” we can all so easily get caught up in. It feels like such a freeing way to be, to live in the moment and it truly acknowledges what it is we are feeling.

     1. This is an old behaviour and belief I am still working on too Kristy – thinking that I have to be doing something and often measuring myself by the amount of things I’ve done. What I have started to notice though is that when I focus on the quality first, all of the activities that need to get done, naturally also get done (& more some!), so to me it’s not that I can’t continue to ‘do’ things but that the key is to make it about quality first (& hence where the ‘being’ comes…)!

170. I know for me, doing kills joy, being expands and confirms it – because I am living in my naturally rhythm to God, and my body and whole way of being know this.

171. It was great to read this, this morning – a great reflection of listening to, honouring our bodies and feelings, over the list of, got to get this done. Doing is a deeply harming way to live, both mentally and physically on our bodies, but also the quality of life we live and emanate.

172. What I also felt to share which is a testament to the presentation of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon is the fact I no longer indulge so much ( yes there are moments but I can feel these almost instantly and come out of them, some take a little bit more time:-) – but within this blog certain words and phrases were highlighted to me, of things I need to work on – such as I can still play the victim at times – which is just a choice to not take responsibility for my choices and life – and that’s cool, there was no reaction, poor me etc – just yep great I know it’s time to move on. How empowering is it to know that we have a choice in everything – nothing is fate – it is all down to the simple choices we make. Love or not love.

173. I love how you read these blogs and certain words or phrases shine out at you – be it things which inspire, you can relate to or thing to work on. The latter has happened this morning, as I know I have been making things deliberately about doing – to avoid feeling the stillness, power and glory that I am and can feel when I stop. This is an exhausting way to live, completely crazy really, when in a simple moments choice I can connect back to love.

174. I sometimes see duties as boundaries that contain people. Many people, seem to set themselves within such boundaries and in other circumstances, obligation seems to bind us to which ever duties we’re assigned. To me, to be dutifully completing something, can indicate too, someone going about a task with commitment; what energy that commitment comes from though may vary wildly, depending on what a person chooses to be in. Regardless, how we feel must be allowed and listened to, for it impacts hugely, what we do.

175. We seem to have thought expressing how you felt meant the same as getting emotional. This could not be further from the truth. I was parented by 50’s generation parents in the late 60’s and early 70’s where silence and getting on with life was the solution to not talking about how one felt for fear that it would just bring stuff up and make you emotional. Later we seemed to think counselling was key or some new age cathartic therapy, again a misunderstanding that talking about your emotions and encouraging emotional responses was the way to express what you were feeling. It wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon that I understood what feeling was and began the process of rediscovering the sixth sense I had with me all along – we feel everything and it hurts to be suppressed from expressing the truth of what we feel.

     1. “….a misunderstanding that talking about your emotions and encouraging emotional responses was the way to express what you were feeling” A great point Suzanne. I remember being encouraged to thump pillows and shouting as a way to express my latent anger – hopeless! It was the underlying sadness that I needed to express all along – and not emotional outbursts that just made me feel exhausted. We get expressing feelings so confused with emoting. Indeed I thought they were the same thing, until I discovered Universal Medicine.

176. Your story really moved me Sue, I can relate to the early years of boarding school but I was thirteen not ten, which would have been a lot easier to deal with as I can see that it would get harder and harder the younger you are when sent away. Its great to now feel you have found Universal Medicine and are finally able to heal and just be yourself.

177. Thank you Sue for sharing your journey back to you, indeed it is worth it when we finally choose to heal all our stuff that we have been carrying for a while and start to live and express from our bodies and not our heads, it is a joy for ourselves and allows others the opportunity to break similar patterns in their lives.

178. “Learning to Feel my Feelings” – As you say in the title, Sue. It’s great to start to feel and not bury our feelings until we are forced to feel them through pain in our bodies.

179. What a beautiful encounter of your journey – I can relate to having to learn to feel and acknowledge what my body does feel, as it has been over-ridden all my life. Thanks for sharing Sue.

180. “I now bring a rested, well-cared and well-nourished woman to a situation or task at hand and I can feel the huge difference this makes.” – It’s crazy how resting and taking care of oneself is seen as laziness, if we don’t rest we become over-tired and resentful and so the cycle continues.

181. I had dabbled over the years with self help books, looking for an answer in something someone else has written, but like you Sue nothing made my life better. The presentations of Universal Medicine allowed me to realise that it is me that runs my life and it is not fate or luck, how I live is my responsibility and no one else’s. It is great to have the tools to know how to change and feel empowered in this way.

182. Quite a lot here for me to relate to: feeling sorry for myself and not taking-on the responsibility or acknowledging how I feel, having to re-learn listening to what my body needs rather completely ignoring it and “I would look out of the window in class, day-dreaming, but really hoping that the teacher would ask me what was wrong.” Frequently, I think as children, we’re desperately hoping that someone would ask and keeping asking until we let-up “what’s wrong and how do you feel?” I had an Aunty who would every so often connect with me enough for me to explode-out all of my feelings as a child. I feel so much gratitude for that, but it’s still not good enough – all coming generations of children need to be met at this level and stay connected to for the rest of their life. Otherwise, we end-up with damaged adults so far gone, that it’s near impossible for them to connect with their inner child or inner heart, or with anyone else because of the pent-up pain of their own disconnection. I know, because I’m one of them exploring that road back.

     1. Enjoy the road back to your true self Oliver. It is so worth it, as I’m sure you know. Then we can all inspire others too, so much more worth it than feeling sorry for ourselves, which was almost a permanent way of life for me for too many years!

183. “Being myself now means sensing what is right for me in every moment, listening to my body and not overriding it. I now know there is much more honesty in this way of being” so so true Sue These words are golden and I will take them with me into my day. Thank you for sharing.

184. “In my earlier years, politeness and being nice and kind were rewarded: showing who you truly were, warts and all, was ignored and punished. I thus learned to be a good, quiet, helpful young girl”. Sue I can really relate to what you say here as I experienced the same thing and I too grew up putting others first and believing that it was selfish to consider myself – to self-nurture was unheard of! I also have Universal Medicine to thank for supporting me to ‘recognise these old patterns of behaviour’ and I have also come a long way to addressing and truly healing, thanks to the presentations from Serge Benhayon.

185. It is everytime interesting how different we can build patterns, that are holding us back of who we truly are. But in the end, we are all avoiding the same- to feel . I can relate to a lot what you´ve been sharing openly.Thank you!

     1. Yes we may express it in differing ways but we are all avoiding feeling. I have found that the fear of feeling (something perceived to be awful), is often worse than facing it, the reality. Crazy!

186. “So the empty feelings of sadness were buried for a while.” Until a few years ago I lived in a permanent state of sadness. It started very young when I realised my purpose in life was only to be a good, reasonable girl abiding by everyone’s wishes. Universal Medicine and its practitioners are helping me get in touch with the real me and like you Sue I’m lifting veils after veils that had buried me in a deep cave.

187. I can so feel the sadness of you as a little girl at boarding school. The grief of this separation from your family, and then not acknowledged, by the adults, of this truth. I can so relate to the patterns that then set us up to disconnect. Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon has been instrumental for bringing truth to the forefront and the start of validating what we all feel is real, and their value.

188. Hi Sue, it seems like a very common way of dealing with things – to keep constantly busy. In todays world there is more than enough to keep ourselves occupied or even stretched to the limit and then some! Thanks for sharing how you have been able to see that the busyness was to distract you from what you were truly feeling, and how you have made changes to get back to your being-ness.

189. Certainly if doing becomes more focused upon, than the being doing it, then nothing is discerned as to why, how, or the quality in which all those things are actioned. May we encourage all children to listen to their feelings and express wholeheartedly to their elders.

     Suffering from the inability to express is like bottling-up poison and wrecks the body – that’s been my experience anyway. The ability was always there, but there we times where it seemed very difficult to do so. Gone is the fear of expressing my truth; it’s better out than in (with tact of course).

     1. “Gone is the fear of expressing my truth; it’s better out than in (with tact of course).” – I love what you say here Oliver, although I still at times hold back and as you say “is like bottling-up poison and wrecks the body.”

190. Sue what a wonderful sharing and I am so glad that you too feel that you have come home after connecting to Serge Benhayon and the teachings of Universal Medicine. To be taking responsibility for your Life is such a great feeling and achievement. Thank you Sue.

     1. Yes it is such a relief to know that I am responsible for all of my choices and cannot ever blame anyone else for what happens to me. This is the level of responsibility that I have learnt to live with through attending Universal Medicine courses. Before that I would blame anybody and anything when ever anything went wrong for me. My life has done a 360 turn around and I am now a responsible adult instead of a person who was always a victim to my circumstances.

191. Sue, when I read your blog I felt how amazing we are that we have come from such a place of dysfunction, to the gorgeousness of where we are now, through recognising the truth of the inspirational work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.
     Your story is so familiar to me and yet here we are. It is absolutely amazing to feel that transformation.

192. Love reconnecting with your article Sue. ‘Being myself now means sensing what is right for me in every moment, listening to my body and not overriding it’ …… This is a wonderful validation that we all know the truth, we have everything we need inside us and it’s just a choice away, whether to connect, or not. Growing up I thought that adults ‘knew better’, because they were always telling me they did, however, true wisdom has nothing to do with age or gender, it’s a choice, to live from that deep connection to ourselves.

     1. It’s interesting when I pondered on whether I thought adults knew better; I remember there was a part of me that did think that and another part actually knew they were lying a lot of the time. I just did not have this confirmed so I could build the trust in my own wisdom back then. Now I am doing this for myself without the need from another to say what I am feeling is true.

193. Sue this is a gorgeous sharing from you. It is very touching to hear more about your up bringing and the impact this had on you as you grew older. It reminds us of how truly sensitive we all are. Congratulations Sue, in having the courage and willingness to clear and heal those buried emotions as we get to share and celebrate the beautiful woman that you are. Thank you.

     1. Yes, so many of us have come from a life of dysfunction to a wonderful place of transformation and beauty. Deep appreciation for Serge Benhayon and everyone at Universal Medicine.

194. The world treated you back in one way and it is our choice to then repeat this back on to ourselves. Its truly a simple choice.

195. This is so amazing Sue. When I read it I am getting feelings and flashbacks to when I was that age. You nailed it by saying “knowing who you truly were, warts and all, was ignored and punished”. I can’t sum up just how valuable and meaningful this blog was, it just is.

     1. Thankyou Harry. I find great healing in so many of the articles written by students that are posted in the now many blogsites.

196. Thank you Sue for your loving and inspirational post.
     “I am now taking responsibility for my life events and for how I respond to situations.”
     This simple sentence provides such a powerful message.

     1. Yes self responsibility is all important – something I’ve not really taken on board until coming across Universal Medicine. It seems society (including myself until recently) always tries to find someone or something to blame for the mess we find ourselves in.

197. Thank you for sharing this Sue. I love how you identified that the adults in your life did not validate the way you felt when you were a child, this reinforces how important it is to simply allow others (of all ages) to express how they feel and truly listen. The drive to do starts early but it is great to know it can be arrested at any time by choosing another way.

198. At the cost of being real and being myself, I grew up being the good girl, which built up enormous amounts of resentment towards myself and those around me. It wasn’t until I came across Universal Medicine that I learnt how to deal with this by healing the hurts that created it in the first place. Knowing that I am not my hurts has been a huge game changer for me and now I know what it truly means to heal.

     1. Yes Sara, knowing we are not our hurts, despite it feeling that way, was huge for me too. I too was a good quiet girl, using it as a protection and wanting to fit in, but in truth I was hiding the real me. The freedom that Universal Medicine has brought me, and recognising that I can make new choices in every moment is invaluable.

199. Finding Universal Medicine and attending presentations regularly inspire me to go deeper, reflect more and I find little strands of old hurts still come up for healing, which is such a great opportunity to continually evolve – to being more of who I truly am; as with many Unimed students. It still feels like ‘coming home’.

200. ‘Finding Universal Medicine was like coming home.’ – this just summed it all up for me.

201. This is such a beautiful blog showing the amazing transformation from self-neglect to self-love. I can also relate to being a victim, just getting on with things, being nice and polite, not express my feelings, looking outside of myself for acknowledgement and recognition and using all kinds of distractions instead of taking full responsibility for my life and what energy I live in and with. But not anymore. There’s no where to escape from my own responsibility for my life and everything that happens.

202. Reading about your past in the boarding school and the effect that this situation has had on you is remarkable considering what an open and deeply insightful blog you have written. There is such an awareness here of your self and of all that you are. It makes me consider that any thing is possible when we make that relationship with ourselves be the most important relationship in our lives. Thankyou Sue.

203. This is so refreshing to read and a great example that we are the ones that have the power, that it is down to our choices which will create what we live in on a daily basis. Love this one – “I am now taking responsibility for my life events and for how I respond to situations.” – Super empowering.

     1. It is about taking the responsibility for our own lives and to heal the hurts we have not taken care for before. We have power over our lives in order to change the way we think and behave. We do not have the power to change anything outside us other than by reflection. We are the ones that have the power to change our lives.

204. By allowing myself to stop and connect with myself during the day has allowed me to break that momentum I get caught in sometimes with raciness in getting things done, it allows me to feel my body and connect with it in a way that I can choose to express in a different way, one that is more honouring for how I feel at that time. I still gets things done but the quality in which I do them is so much more supportive.

205. Busyness is one of the great distractions of life, especially for women. It is difficult to stop because we get so much out of it – we get to avoid how we are feeling and we are noticed/appreciated by others for all the running around we do. As I am getting older I realise what a setup this is, to keep us running around the hamster wheel of life, instead of stopping and becoming still. Stillness that radiates from within us, is one of our most natural qualities. It is so powerful and effects everyone around us. This is what we are depriving ourselves of when we run around in busyness.

     1. “Stillness that radiates from within us, is one of our most natural qualities. It is so powerful and effects everyone around us.” This is beautiful Fiona.

206. Sue, this is a great blog and I can relate to much of what you share, not about boarding school but keeping busy, to avoid stopping and feeling, this rings true for me, and I have been very aware of this recently. Even when my body is crying out to rest I some how still think I have to carry on, there is that thought of guilt and that I should be doing something, that tries to sneak in. I know it’s not true and that there is something else going on with me. So this is music to my ears, my whole body is saying “this is what I have been calling you to do for years”. I now know however, that stopping and resting is important, for me this is the next point, connecting to stillness, allowing myself to stop and really feel and live from there. It’s funny as I can feel how we can create busy-ness as a game to keep us less, in the sense that if we stop and feel, we might just feel how amazing we really are and feel to express. Just as I am writing this, a bee stopped by me and rested for a few moments before carrying on with it’s day. Just goes to show that we all need to build rest into our day.

     1. The thought of guilt that I should be doing something – yes – I know this one too. Love the magic of God in the bee showing up! We all need to make time for stillness, then can carry that into our day and life flows more simply. A lesson I am still learning.

207. Sue, my story is different, but the underlying feelings and patterns feel the same. Finding a way back to living honestly and with love of myself has been an unfolding with some steps forward and some steps back, but all in all there is a deeper connection that I now have with myself that I can totally relate to in what you share. Thank you, it was truly beautiful to read your transformation.

208. I really liked this line – “Being myself now means sensing what is right for me in every moment, listening to my body and not overriding it”. – So simple yet so powerful.

209. 
     Dear Sue, it was lovely to read how you have made such a transformation in your life. ‘I was told “You’re not really feeling sad” although I knew that I was feeling really sad and miserable, so I used to go off for long walks alone and cry’. And you were just 10 years old,it must have been very frightening for you. Awesome that you can now be you as a ‘human being’, not a ‘human doing’.

210. You have shared something that is endemic in our society – this constant turn to distractions, steps away from allowing ourselves to feel what is going on in our bodies at any one moment. We are running away from who we truly are and denying ourselves the beauty of that. To remember to be a human being and not a human doing is a simple reminder for us to be with ourselves and then with others. Thank you Sue.

211. I really enjoy the distinction between human doings and human beings.
     I know which one I would rather be! Thank you Sue.

212. Sue I can really relate to the boarding school experience. I treated my unmet feelings with food and became very big. I can remember feeling less than many of the other girls there, as many came from wealthier families and appeared to have more. Thanks to Universal Medicine I have uncovered some of the hurts I buried, but it feels like there is more there still.

213. I agree with you Sue, finding Universal Medicine has been like coming home for me also and has made sense out of the chaos we experience within the world today.
     I used to have the belief that it was selfish to think of myself and honour how I felt, but I now know it’s selfish not to, as it shows others that it is ok to dismiss how they really feel about things.

214. Sue, I am of the same generation and also went to boarding school albeit not so young and I relate to your life story. “Feelings were (indeed) denied” when I was growing up. There was the important need to fit within the system, be it school, society or work. Coming across Universal Medicine in my later years is a true blessing and every day is an occasion to reconnect with the immense sadness of the past and learn to let it go.

     1. You raise an important point here Patricia about the important need to fit it and what we end up ‘doing’ as a result – my feeling is that this ‘need’ is not exclusive to this era, but that in fact we are often all doing many things in order to fit in, or feel accepted etc. which includes our current society. It made me consider the many ways in which we deny connecting to and honouring our true feelings – not always as obvious as actually being ‘told’ by others not to be a certain way (which in truth, may also reflect the way this generation themselves were raised and/or the awareness they had at the time) – but also ‘any’ activity which distracts us from simply ‘being’ which can include a multitude of activities including, but not limited to, drama/emotions/smoking/alcohol/drugs etc…. For me, the key in addressing the ‘doing’ issue has been to begin by being honest about these distractions while at the same time taking responsibility in order to begin to heal the hurts that had me ‘doing’ and distracting in the first place.

     2. Sue and Patricia I also went to a boarding school, and because feelings were never spoken about, allowed or acknowledged, much confusion, burying and sadness became the pattern which continued into my adult life. There was often an underlying feeling of worthlessness that would engulf me in difficult situations. With the support of Universal Medicine I now enjoy developing my awareness and my natural expression, and being the loving delicate woman I am. It is wonderful to know that we can heal from past hurts and patterns of thinking or behaviour.

        1. Yes Universal Medicine is the first true organisation that has enabled me to heal those past hurts. Years ago I even went to a weekend (for women) called the Boarding School Survivors experience!! Men and women have differing issues around boarding school – men were then treated more brutally and physically. But although it was interesting to discuss with other women how we felt about our school days there was no healing- just surviving – as the name inferred. Thanks heaven for Serge Benhayon who has shown us all that we can heal our past hurts and move on, no longer playing victim to our past.

215. Thank you for exposing how things were at boarding schools in the 60s (in the UK, perhaps it must have been the same here in Australia). The total denial of children’s feelings and continuation of that denial resulting in completely changing the children into someone who they were not at all is a hideous abuse. It is fabulous that you persisted to heal yourself. Thank you for writing this.

     1. Yes, I agree Ryoko. This really stood out to me also. It is so clear that the boarding school was a system that ran at the expense of all within it… Educating children to not express how they really feel and to not be who they naturally are.
        It is a great loss for us all when children are not supported to grow with their sensitivity, awareness and natural expression.
        Thank God we have Esoteric healing to truly heal the hurts and return to our true essence. From our Essence we can live life as the real us and raise children that can remain who they are and not be lost in the system.

216. I love to read here that by being busy and ignoring our feelings you cannot heal your hurts. The only way to heal I found too is to be loving with ourselves, and feel that we are love inside.

217. Sue this is a great sharing and yes, to actually start to stop and feel how I am feeling and not get caught up in the distraction doing is a massive way of living that needed looking at at and still do or should I say be.

218. A beautiful description of how our true feelings are repressed and feel like constantly doing is the way to go. But it is such an important point in your article is that it is not about the doing, it is about a continuous being and awareness of the love we are inside.

219. Then bringing the ‘being’ to all that you are ‘doing’ is what counts.

220. A human-doing rather than being harks back to the time where the Protestant work ethic was considered the way to live your life in service to God, your community and family. What is left out of this religious activity is you and feeling the absolute joy in delivering the quality of who you know yourself to be in every action and deed. Our bodies have certainly shown that working with total disregard of the body and self is not a way to live. This is why The Way of the Livingness is the religion of our times and relevant to today’s “me” culture which has most certainly lost it’s way, in self-centredness being mistaken for self-love and connection.

221. Wow Sue Q, your personal outcomes from working with Universal Medicine read so simply but within that simplicity is something I imagine we all long for. To stop the busyness and get our minds and bodies into the same place at the same time, to be content with ourselves, to feel our truth, to be more loving and joyful. How divine that you have found a pathway to this lovely place and that you are here to share that with others. Thank you for letting us know.

222. Human doing is a story many of us, including myself, can relate to, but also thankfully we now can begin to become human be-ing with connection and love. Great blog.

223. Sue I really appreciated your honesty and openness in sharing your experience of shutting down your feelings. This just confirms to me to the importance of checking in with young people about how they are actually feeling and not just about what they have been doing. I also love that no matter what age we are, we can feel our hurts and let our true selves shine. Thank you Sue.

224. A lovely journey Sue and one that I can relate to. At 64 years of age, I have come to a place in myself that (usually) feels great. A place where I can acknowledge that I am who I am and nothing can change that and nor would I want to. Thank you for writing from a place of calmness and steadiness, your warmth is evident in your writing. A lovely read.

225. Wow what a life, boarding school at the age of 10, this would create utter devastation in a child, it is great you are able to let yourself feel this and let go.

226. Thank you Sue for this very inspiring post. I certainly have been more of a human-doing than a human-being and I can still easily fall into this trap. But with the amazing support of Serge Benhayon and everything that is on offer by Universal Medicine I started to surrender more and more to the rhythms of life allowing myself to feel my innate stillness making that the foundation for everything that needs to be done.

227. Thank you Sue, how true it was for me to pugnaciously deliver ‘my fate to anyone who would listen’, trying to either impart knowledge or learn from another. My implication was that I had all the right questions and arrogantly though I actually knew what I was talking about but I could not have been further from the truth. Thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for inspiring me to the humble attitude I now have for those around me, the patience for humanity is now a sincere purpose and approach to life.

228. It is a wonderful feeling to hear someone like Serge Benhayon present something that deep down you knew to be true but it seems not a single person on earth has presented it before – so then bit by bit this crazy world can be made sense of… and then we can become more honest with ourselves too, about the distractions and numbing to not feel what has been buried inside and the devastation this causes within, and without. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story Sue.

229. I have come back to re-read this several times as it is just so key to taking responsibility for who we are and how we feel. Love it.

230. I tried the books, courses, workshops, tv, movies, hobbies, sugarly foods, magazines, drugs, sexual escapades, yoga, parties, social events, shopping and all other kind of distractions in order to not feel. Since I made the choice to distract myself less and less and to actually feel, life has become so much more loving, more simple and less of me running around trying to find (avoid) something. When there is something to feel, I feel it and then move on. Simple, yet so profound.

231. Sue what you have discovered is rich beyond words.

232. Thank you, Sue, for your beautiful sharing. I grew up in the UK and felt the blanket of the British ‘stiff upper lip’ very acutely. I remember a few days after my mother died, very suddenly, my father told me that feeling upset was being self indulgent. I felt incredulous and very sad for him that he actually felt this way and was unable to even acknowledge his own loss. Suppressing our hurts ensures we carry them for a lot longer than we need to, and everything we do and say is in turn tainted with these hurts. It’s been so liberating for me to understand how easy it is to let go of these suppressed feelings, if we choose to.

233. Sue, there is so much I can relate to in your blog. For example: ” I didn’t trust or value myself and looked outside of me for acknowledgement and recognition, rather than accept and know who I truly was. So for many years, overrode all that I knew and felt was right across many areas of my life. Making so much of what I did and felt about me and not how I was in life and how that impacted all those around me. The other part that stood out for me was the ‘doing’ versus ‘being’, this is huge and one that we all can get caught up in. Learning to come back to us, that infinite connection to who we truly are is so integral to us being all of who we are in each moment. I love one of your closing comments – “I am now taking responsibility for my life events and for how I respond to situations.” Very empowering for us to do so.

     1. I agree Reagan, it is very empowering to understand and live self responsibility. Your blog is very inspiring Sue, to come out of feeling so hurt and shut down to realising that there is another way – and going for it. I can really relate to what you have written here (victim of life) and have had a similar support from Universal Medicine. We all carry some hurts from our childhood, it is very liberating to look at these and be able move on from them.

234. Great blog Sue, I can only image what it must be like as a young child to be separated from your parents at such a young age and what that must feel like. What came across in your writing reminded me of the english phrase ‘stiff upper lip’, which was taught to us as children. By healing those hurts you are no longer putting on a smile for the younger generation but showing them a different way to be.

235. Wow! Sue, definitely worth a re-read; I have lost count of how many times I have read this article. Your blog is so inspiring and relevant (being of the same generation) that I feel I could write a book on what is in your blog. Re-reading your blog this time, I felt the way institutions like boarding schools are run. What a blessing we found Serge Benhayon.

236. Lovely Sharing Sue

237. Having known you since you first attended an Universal Medicine presentation I can attest to every thing you have shared, the change in you, from a woman that was at the mercy of her hurts to the beautiful,loving woman you are today is an inspiration for us all.

238. This line made a lot of sense to me: “I am unlocking those buried emotions, feeling them, then re-connecting to what is actually true – hence they are being truly healed this time.” very inspirational and a great reminder to always feel the truth of things.

239. Great blog Sue, your transformation from a human doing to a human being, and I can relate to that as wel. It is devastating if we are told that what we feel is not correct, or when we are told that how we feel is not appreciated and of any importance, but instead that what we do is appreciated and put emphasis on. Then we learn that life is about doing and the what we feel is of no importance. We learn to give our power away to this belief and we leave ourselves in desperation, imprisoned with our inner feelings we do not knot how to cope with.

240. Sue I love this, “I am no longer a human-doing, I am a human-being”. Simply awesome. Reading your article it is so easy to see how we lose ourselves, dismissing anothers feelings is never good, but can only occur when another is already dismissing their own feelings and as such is the cycle we live. Great to hear you have found a way to break this cycle. Congratulations and well done to you for having the courage to take the necessary steps to change!

241. Thank you Sue. I was also caught in the doing, just using it as a distraction to not feel what is really going on inside of me and all around me. It´s hard to get out of this illusion when you don´t have the reflection of another way because being ‘very busy’ is ‘rewarded’ in two ways: by society because you are productive and ‘contributing’ and by yourself not feeling the misery in and around you. Thanks to Universal Medicine I realized why I was so caught in the doing and can now let go more and more of that old pattern. And the funny thing is that by being more connected to my being and being more present with myself I am much more productive than in the past.

242. Thank you for sharing your experience Sue. Our relationship with ourselves is the most important relationship as we bring this to all others. If we don’t trust ourselves and what we feel we end up in the doing and putting ourselves last as not worthy. I am working on this at present as I use to do this often, put myself last, and then resent what I was doing or the person I was doing it for, when all along it was me who agreed to it. Politeness and niceness can be terrible.

243. Sue we scurry around frantically from thing to thing trying to avoid the hurt that is inside us and at the same time looking for the love that is also inside us! It would actually be quite funny if it didn’t cause so much misery!

244. Sue, this was so exposing for me. Even just reading this blog showed me how busy-ness prevails even when I do not need to be – and how much of a distraction this really is to feeling me and what is going on!
     I also completely related to “I learned to put everyone else first – ­to do nothing and just be with myself was called laziness.” Now I know though that the choice to be busy is completely mine, and that no imposition from anybody else can make me do anything.
     Thank you for this Sue, it really helped me to go deeper with this part of myself and really nominate the role being ‘busy’ has in my life.

245. Thank you Sue for this sharing. I can so relate to your walks alone crying, in fact I was also a sad victim of life until I came across Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and was re-introduced to the true me – my essence waiting patiently to be re-connected to. Only then could I begin to free myself from my own self imprisonment.

246. Great blog Sue. Wow you have come along way. I love what you shared in relation to trusting how you feel again and who you are. After many years of being told that what you feel is not real or true would certainly erode any sense of trust in who you are and sense of self.I love how you approach this in such a practical way. ‘Being myself now means sensing what is right for me in every moment, listening to my body and not overriding it. I now know there is much more honesty in this way of being’ Beautiful Sue, your body showing you the truth of who you are, and this can never be taken away from us.

247. I went through a time in high school after moving state away from my father and settling into a new high school. Where I would cry a lot – I didn’t know how to explain what I was feeling and so I would make up a story or exaggerate the facts to match what I was feeling inside. Ironically I didn’t want to be seen as for crying for no reason or be labelled as a “drama queen” but my choice to lie created so much more drama . This made my life more complicated as I then had to start maintaining my lies, which never works, this I learnt the hard way after damaging a few friendships. It also created a distraction from really dealing with the deep hurt and sadness inside that I felt like I couldn’t truly tell anyone as I couldn’t explain why they were there. I dug myself in deeper and deeper, until there was a tsunami of feelings inside that felt so complicated and overwhelming. It has taken many years to undo the tangle and relearn to trust what I am feeling and not turn it into something it is not. I have also learnt to be really loving and honoring of myself and my body and understand that all of those feelings are there for a reason but that there is so much more to me. I am not ruled by them.

248. What strikes me most in reading your words Sue is how much we get taught in life to cope with life and to manage it somehow but that it is not truly about enjoying life and being fully in it. It is almost like the real I/you gets parked somewhere and the many faces we have learned to put on do the show. Meanwhile our true expression sits dormant in the corner. What a blessing to have the reflection of an other way through the teachings of Universal Medicine and the living example of Serge Benhayon and many others who are dedicated to live from their true essence.

     1. Well said Esther. Yes, sadly enough our todays society rewards the doing, the functioning but not the being. So we learn to ‘cope’ with our issues by burying them and put a ‘nice’ face on so that nobody will be disturbed.
        I also feel blessed by getting the reflection of so many people associated with Universal Medicine that there is another way of living – a way that is about taking responsibility for yourself, connecting to yourself and living more and more the real you.

249. Allowing myself to feel my feelings bring repressed sadness to the surface and with it clearing. Then the next layer is brought up and dealt with, so liberating.

250. Learning to accept that what you feel is actually ok is the key that unlocks so many doors.

251. Beautiful article to read

252. Reward from others for doing is an addiction. You get a momentary ‘high’, then are left feeling empty and looking for the next ‘what can I do?’ so that someone will notice me.
     How hard did I used to try?! Just being our true selves doesn’t drain us.

253. If there was a PhD in doing I would have 3 of them. When it’s been a lifetime pattern, it can be hard to look at the why am I doing this? It’s how I have gotten by. One of my tactics is avoidance. Your story Sue is super inspiring as it shows that we don’t need to get caught up or identified with everything that we do. In fact it’s never about what we do at all.

254. Choosing to dig for what has been buried deep inside our selves offers us the possibility to look at all that is there and choose. On these cleared grounds magnificent changes will grow and flourish.

     1. Yes Micheal and on this cleared ground, the foundation becomes stronger and solid.

255. I love the way you paint the picture of how all the layers were created and built up around you, the real you inside, and then how they have been broken down and released. It just feels so beautiful.

256. Stopping and connecting – like breathing.

257. Great blog Sue. I got the clear message of how important it is to actually feel my body in whatever it is feeling and not override with food, distraction or checking out. For me, it’s the process of actually stopping the momentum I am running to allow space to feel my body in where it’s at and make the next choice that which supports my unfolding path back to my true self.

258. Such a beautiful blog Sue, thank you. ” …. by stopping and connecting with myself first I know that I am of far more value to myself and then to those around me – I find I then bring all of me to a situation with a good heart, rather than resentfulness or other emotions.”. This is such an important part of Universal Medicine and living this way has changed my life too!

259. Thank you, Sue. Your story is reflecting a lot of my behaviors as well. I too, feel so blessed to have met Serge Benhayon and all those lovely Universal Medicine practitioners and to finally truly heal from deep within.

260. I can relate to the doing and keeping myself busy all to not stop and feel what was there to feel inside. The getting things done always had a certain push and a drive in them, always reaching a goal/a fixed outcome and some ideals to live up to. I would be exhausted, without me wanting to feel that and doing even more. An endless circle going round has been changed by stopping and doing 1 thing at a time and especially by allowing myself to feel what I actually feel. Admitting I am a very sensitive woman who feels so much has made a big difference.

261. A great point about being rather than doing Sue, I am starting to bring more ‘being’ in my ‘doing’ so to speak. It feels like my first baby steps to bring more presence and awareness into my daily actions, I find if I slow down the action, like walking for example, it becomes easier to stay present in my body, and to all the feelings that are there.

262. What a gorgeous expression, becoming a human-being rather than a human-doing. That is something that I will reflect on as I go through my day today. Thank you!

     1. I am off to bed but I look forward to having dreams about becoming a human-being rather than a human-doing.

263. Dear Sue,
     Thank you, a beautiful blog, I too have lived as you described above, constantly caught in the belief that I was not good enough and so being the good girl and holding back my expression, also searching many healing modalities before finding that the only true healing comes from being present and connecting to my beauty within. Something that at one time I would have never believed was within me, even though I felt deeply that there had to be more to life than the way I was living. To now feel this beauty is a true miracle, to also feel the difference in my body from living with my beauty is also very beautiful.

264. Much of what you have written here Sue I can relate to, ‘doing’ could have been my middle name, everything in my life was about doing and never about be-ing. This sentence stood out for me, “The focus was on the system and getting things done by a certain time rather than considering how we pupils were feeling, as if that didn’t matter. I therefore felt I didn’t matter. Life was about “doing your duty”, regardless of how we felt or how our bodies were feeling. We just “got on with it”. Patterns of ‘doing’ became established, without care or regard for my true self. I learned to put everyone else first – ­to do nothing and just be with myself was called laziness.” While I didn’t go to boarding school I can feel how this played out in my life, doing your duty regardless of how you felt and if it was questioned you were being ‘insolent’ and lacking respect. the great thing is through Universal Medicine I am realising I do matter and that all my patterns in my life were because I felt I didn’t matter.

265. Susie you describe here such a common experience of childhood for many- being taught and rewarded for getting things done rather than being who we are and being taught to suppress and avoid our feelings. It is so great to hear your story and how you came back to see yourself as a human-being. It shows that even if we did not get taught how to do this as children we can still change it as adults.

     1. So true Andrew. Even though my history was different from Sue’s I could totally relate. Learning to give ourselves the love and honour that was not understood by our parents and teachers way back when does not mean we cannot change our lives deeply by entering into a loving relationship with ourselves. This is liberating! Thank you.

266. As you wrote Sue I too have found and felt a sense of ‘coming home’ since being involved with Universal Medicine. Not only do the presentations make sense of the world, people and myself but it does so in a way that makes very simple sense as I do at times feel that what is presented is not new to me but well known – just not remembered in daily life. From believing that life was just about the do-ing I am gradually remembering that life is about be-ing first and foremost.

267. It is so stunning what is there to uncover in each and everyone of us.
     Letting go of more and more of the old hurts and taking responsibility reveals the true power and love.

     1. Beautifully said Michael.

268. It is life changing when you start to take responsibility for your life events and all your creations. It requires one to get honest with themselves, and from the honesty, it is easier to make different choices especially in the knowledge that all the previous choices did not evolve you one iota.

269. As you say I am a lot more fun when I am in my being instead of my doing!

270. This rings so many bells in me, Sue, and they are ringing big time at the moment as the middle of my back has been feeling weak and unsupported for a little while now. I chose to read your article today and all you are saying was just the thing I needed to hear. It is so easy to get carried away when we feel we are “doing well”, and let something else take over and fall into the old energy of distraction and doing again, instead of continuing in the quiet consistency that brought us to the loving place and bringing all that we are feeling, body, heart, and soul, to everything we do.

271. Lovely blog Sue, thank you for sharing. I too am learning to become a human be-ing rather than a human do-ing!

272. It is lovely to feel the changes in you, Sue. Your pattern feels so familiar and like you ‘I am learning to honour my feelings and not to ignore, avoid, or distract myself with busy-ness’. When I do become distracted I now understand why and am less judgemental with myself.

273. Thank you Sue, I have been a human ‘doing’ as well, always saying, “I’ll just do this and then I’ll stop for a break”. The break never came until I collapsed with burnout type exhaustion and then it was really hard to get started again.
     However, I arrived at “Unimed Station” (as Greg cheekily put it) around about then and that changed everything! A superb article all the way through and your last two points jumped out at me most, in this particular read:
     “I am learning to stay in the present moment, to accept and to love myself.”
     “I no longer override the fact that I do feel my feelings and can allow them and accept how important this is.”
     This is my truth too.

274. Thank you Sue, I have found when ‘things blow up in my face’ so to speak, then there has been a feeling that I have over-ridden. If I recognise the feeling for what it is, then the impending situation is averted! I save Face. Hee Hee

275. Thank you Sue for sharing a way to ‘being’ human and returning to the true ‘human being’.

276. This is gorgeous Sue – not so much to do but very much to be. I can see the lovely little girl within the grandmother and she has certainly found her way home. I’m sure you walk (again) with a skip in your step; I can feel it in your words.

277. Lovely Sue Q. It is for most of us a journey back to self and it does take time. Learning that I could actually trust my feelings and then having to learn not to override them has changed my life also. Universal Medicine truly does give us the keys and tools to a joyful and simple life.

278. Thank you for sharing your story Sue. It’s a joy to feel the lightness of you just being who you are, rather than the old burdens of believing that we had to be ‘doing’ all the time to receive recognition and acceptance from others

279. Thank you Sue, that ‘I can track this pattern of behaviour’ is saying so much. Before Universal Medicines Presentations by Serge Benhayon all I used to do was bury my behaviours and hide them within ideals and beliefs plus I would unequivocally deny that they were even an issue. My behaviours were anything but loving towards myself so therefore I showed no real love towards others. Thanks to Serge I have now had a reality check so that the love that I am, can be lived as my behaviour, the ideals and beliefs are continually being replaced with loving principles.

280. In my attempt to understand and be the ‘true’ me, there were lots of confusion about emotions and feelings. I used to think emotionalising equalled being real. So, even though I might feel like I did a lot of excavation work, I was in fact just circumnavigating. When I was ‘accepting myself’, what I was accepting was the end results of the hurts – e.g. anger/sadness beneath the politeness/niceness, and not the grandness of who I really was, a Son of God. Developing the connection with my true essence was missing, until I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

281. Until Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, there was nothing out there to reflect back the absolute importance of true love, true self care and self nurturing as a most natural and balanced way to be with ourselves and others first before any doing. All of our doing, doing, doing, just numbs us from having that natural relationship with ourselves in that way and society totally supports the checked out, fast paced lifestyle because it fills the gap of our otherwise empty lives, all of which, I was most definitely a contributer.
     Choosing to build a more loving and tender relationship with myself has been so very worth it. The feeling of me being more tender with me in what I do, brings such a richness, power and beauty that holds me in its deep and forever embrace.

282. Beautifully expressed, thank you Sue. Universal Medicine has supported me to “know that the true me was hiding underneath all the emotions and hurts from my past, buried deep inside” too. It has been such a healing to feel that nothing is actually wrong with me and that underneath all the layers of emotions and hurt is the amazing, love filled be-ing that I naturally am.

283. Thank you Sue for such an honest story. I can relate to this big time. My years at boarding school where almost the same. Crying and feeling sorry for myself. I checked out at a very young age while at this boarding school and can relate to what you are saying here.
     This set me up to not commit to life in full. I would find ways to distract myself when ever possible, movies, playing up in class etc to seek attention. Then into adult hood I used alcohol to numb the pain and hurt I suffered from my time at boarding school and buried it so deep to never have to deal with these issues.
     Since been part of the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have learnt to deal with these deeply buried issues and now have a better understanding to take life on in full again.

284. Thank you Sue. I can relate to ‘just being’ not being respected as something truly valuable in the world. I have felt like I needed a role to be valued. But this is now dropping away and the loveliness I bring when I am just ‘being me’ is truly felt. We can ‘do’ lots of things, but life is so completely different when it is from ‘being’ first.

285. The world could do with less politeness and more truth.

286. Thank you Sue Q. A fabulous blog. I feel to say without being smarmy ‘been there, done that’. We have all been taught to bury our feelings from a very young age, because it easier to deal with and shape to fit into our society – school, family and relationships. So, it became easier to ‘do’ than to ‘feel’ simply because we have ‘forgotten’ how to feel. Now we know/feel differently and thank God for that!

287. Thank you Sue, for a remarkable sharing. When I feel into the word stimulate, it played a major role in my life. I was always looking for that next thing to stimulate me before Serge Benhayon. The Universal Medicine presentations by Serge have been an inspiration ‘to just be me’ or re-connect to my essence. The stimulations in my life were distractions that kept me from feeling my essence. ‘I now feel more joyful and loving’ and this is by far a different feeling than any stimulation.

288. Thank you Sue, for sharing your transformation and the healing of old patterns that hold us back from being the love that we all are.

289. After reading your blog Sue, and the many comments that followed, I felt like your words had reached down inside my body and grabbed some deep hurts that I had buried in there from not being able to express my feelings as a young child. I felt like I was the only one trying to express in my family. Eventually at the age of 14 I just stopped expressing. Expressing then became about doing it all perfectly or at least better than others so someone would notice ME.
     After meeting Serge Benhayon and attending Universal Medicine events I am more aware of feeling but for a long time felt that I could not Feel. Re-learning to feel is a daily commitment for me. Sometimes Feeling becomes something that I Do! Crazy I know.
     I loved Kim Weston’s comment when she said that when she realised that she is caught up in doing that she recognises she needs to look more deeply at what she is feeling.
     There is much for me to re-learn here for me inspired by your blog. Thank you Sue.

290. As I child I was known as a ‘cry-er’ and every time I’d cry it was met with much criticism and judgement by most of my family. I did not understand why I cried so much, all I knew is that it was something that spontaneously happened when I felt sad or hurt or confused. I cried so much that it was perceived that I made myself cry to get my own way. Honestly I don’t recall this, but if it was the case it wasn’t a very effective tactic and I soon learned to harden up and hold back my tears out of shame and fear of criticism. Like you Sue, with all these bottled up feelings with nowhere for them to be expressed safely, I became a master at burying the hurts and locking them away in tightly sealed containers in my body, to the detriment of my body as I would discover in years to come.

     Thank goodness I found Universal Medicine as it is the only modality that has offered me the possibility of truly healing. Through my active participation and application of the teachings of Universal Medicine as presented by Serge Benhayon, I am re-discovering the sensitive and delicate woman that I am (that was overlooked in the little girl), and learning to embrace and embody the true preciousness that I am and offer it to the world. My body has changed shape; I no longer carry around a burdensome load of emotions nor impose these on other people; I have an appreciation and understanding for the learned-hardness my parents parented with; and I am allowing myself more and more everyday to just ‘be’ me – which is the most incredible gift of love I’ve ever offered myself and the world.

     1. I see a lesson in your comment Stevie. If you tell your children not to cry you harden them up. They hold back their tears and all their feelings with nowhere for them to be expressed safely and their hurts get bottled up and buried away in tightly sealed containers in their body.
        Teach them to express their hurts and feeling in words and teach them to deal with them so they are cleared and let go. Great advice thanks.

291. Congratulations Sue, it takes courage and constancy to break those old patterns.

292. Sue, I can relate to so much of what you have said. In my family, feelings and emotions were considered a bit of a burden and I learnt to over ride and dim awareness of this whole side of myself by keeping busy and distracting myself. Productivity was seen as very worthwhile with no consideration of how and why things were getting done. Universal Medicine and various esoteric practitioners have helped me slowly develop my awareness of the deep and sensitive being that I am. The changes along the way just keep growing which is different from other things I have tried where they seemed to promise answers but then things would invariable go backwards again. Thank you for reminding me again of the quality being-ness brings!

293. Thanks Sue, I can definitely relate to keeping busy to avoid feeling or dealing with underlying issues. It is such a common way of being in the world – I recognise it in family members, friends and colleagues.

294. It is awful to be that child, wanting to express feelings but to have family, school and society rigged up to suppress this. Beautiful, sensitive children then learn to hide their feelings and so it goes into adulthood. I can relate to your blog about how this affects us and the impact it has with our health and general wellbeing. It is insidious that we are taught to put ourselves last and that doing is better than being who we truly are and then expressing from this place.

295. I can so relate to getting caught up in the doing, resulting in constant motion and no time to stop to feel what is really going on. I also relate to not stopping to consider what it is our bodies are telling us when we get sick or seeking temporary relief by burying problems deeper in our bodies which never heals the problem and it always comes back later but usually much worse.

296. Thank you Sue, for sharing that we need to ‘stop to feel and deal with what was really going on.’ In the past, for me to actually stop, when I was like a freight train that was out of control, was exceedingly difficult. Thanks to the inspiration of Serge Benhayon, the brakes were applied, my arrogance was curtailed and I finally stopped – at the UniMed Station!! (Ha! Ha!). Then, with the support from the students of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon, I can now truly feel what is going on in my body.

     1. The greater awareness and depth of my dedication “to accept and to love myself” has increased with the simplicity of allowing a ‘stop moment’!!

297. it was gorgeous to read that the sadness you felt no longer had a place in your life -like getting rid of old furniture that you don’t want to keep anymore.

298. Thank you Sue, for sharing a very relevant point, about ‘keeping myself busy’’ – I also prescribe to these words. By keeping my mind busy even when I was doing nothing, meant I would consider I was active while veg’ing out or watching T.V. I was always looking for the next big thing that could fill my emptiness. I had no commitment to life or conscious presence, only me checking out. When I first listened to Serge Benhayon present on ‘being with what you are doing while you are doing it’, not letting the mind wander, I was doing the exact opposite, with my mind jumping from one thing to the next and rarely staying focused on what I was doing. Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for presenting the truth of how we evolve and inspiring me to feel what is truly going on when I check out.

299. I enjoyed your blog Sue – as a child I too was encouraged to ignore my feelings and take care of what was at hand, therefore I cried a lot as well. Thanks to Universal Medicine for showing there is a different way.

300. Thanks Sue, there is so much in this blog for many of us, myself included. I can feel while reading this, that there is still more to discover under my busyness. It’s something I have used a lot of in the past within my household, which has now become a point that when I feel myself getting busy I know I have to take a deeper look at my feelings.

301. I loved your blog Sue and how you have gently unfolded from the little girl who was shut down to the wise woman who now knows who she is. These words really resonated with me: “The real me, the beautiful innocent sensitive child, got buried.” Sadly that would be the case for so many children. I didn’t attend boarding school like you, but was never encouraged to express how I was feeling, just taught, from a very early age, to put on my smiley face to the world and to pretend that everything was “ok”. “Don’t let anyone know how you are really feeling” was the programming that buried the wise and sensitive little girl, and in the process teaching her to be dishonest. Children are naturally so honest and so sensitive to what is going on around them: it is time for this to be honoured and nurtured.

302. I agree Sue, the old way of facing our emotions head on only buried them deeper. My emotions were under many layers of contrived behaviors that had to be stripped away to leave me naked. Being naked and venerable was the way back for me. Serge Benhayon is a master at skillfully presenting how we may heal from our emotional behaviors and not bury them deeper.

303. This is such a poignant story for us all Sue. The way you express how you were your natural self as a child and then taught to suppress this and “get to work”, calls all who read your blog to reflect and ponder on what we too buried for the sake of ‘getting on with the job of living’. It helps us to love and trust the natural self, the child before it was imposed upon with societies ideals and belief systems.

304. Thank you for sharing Sue. This is a big one for me. I am learning to feel and then not to override what I have felt but just be with it.

305. This blog feels very true for me too in the socialisation that happens which is very much about burying the true person, even from early childhood. It’s really harmful to expect kids not to have the whole gamut of complex feelings and ask them to put on a brave face or be happy, and ignore how they truly feel. I know for me I learned to deliver what I thought was expected of me and to put myself last by never speaking up about how I felt. This is of course catastrophic because it’s all still locked away inside the self and has to emerge at some point. It also creates a lot of tension in the body to not feel able to live the true you. It was really supportive to read your story and reflect upon my own life – thankyou.

306. Beautiful sharing about how you felt as a child and young person and how the school system and society have supported you in suppressing your truth and get things done, what they call going on in life.
     I also struggled with the school system and see my child and other children struggle as well as the school system reduces children to little learning robots who need to bring a lot of nonsense called knowledge in their heads which often is too much and too complicated. In school children are seldom truly met in what they are and what they bring.
     It is great that you experienced this huge change in your life Sue, through universal medicine.

307. Hi Sue, I also grew up in a family who weren’t interested in how I felt, they never told me their feelings so I figured that I was supposed to repress my feelings too, just grin and bear it, stop whinging and get on with it. I thank Universal Medicine for showing me how to make the right choices, connect to my body, be love and just feel.

     1. It is so awesome when we do share our feelings, because then… those who are close to us and anyone really, can have an understanding.
        It is from your sharing above that I can see how I too then carried on in the pattern that you learnt from your family, to just deal with it and toughen up.
        For me it feels so different these days to share my feelings, not toughen up and even let my friends and family see my vulnerability.
        And its never too late to make the choice to change.

        1. Absolutely Rosie and Nick, opening up and expressing is fundamental for our evolution.

308. Great point made here, how we as children were not supposed to express our feelings, just bury them and do what was requested. I can relate to the point where I was waiting for dear ones around me, whether it were my parents or teachers, to ask me how I felt. At some point I just dropped the ‘feeling-issue’ and decided this is not important, suitable here, do bury it. How wonderful is it now, just like you describe, to be in full contact with my body and express what I feel. As you write, I am of far greater value for others, when I speak from there.

     1. Such an important point you make Caroline, when you say ‘I am of far greater value for others, when I speak from there’. When we express how we feel, in full connection to our bodies, we allow others to do the same.

309. Thank you Sue for such a revealing article about how a child might deal with the cards dealt while totally not honouring the beauty-full angel she is really, but then finally after so very long to find ‘the Way home’ – how truly inspiring your story is.

310. Thanks for sharing this Sue. ‘You could say I am no longer a human do-ing, but have become a human be-ing.’ I feel like you could be writing about my life! The details are very different but I too was very good at doing and not so good at being. In my experience this is one of the most common experiences of most people, as life is set up to be this way. Until we are offered an different way we stay stuck in a cycle that is at the expense of ourselves and our bodies. I too have come to know myself more as a ‘being’ rather than a ‘doing’ and for me it has been transformational in all areas of my life. As you wrote above ‘I now know there is much more honesty in this way of being.’

311. I too have gone into ‘doing’ to distract myself from my feelings. As a young child I would go and clean the house when I felt depressed. It distracted me from the hurts and feelings I didn’t want to feel. I also watched movies and completely escaped into them but felt horrible when the movie ended. I was back in my body feeling the hurts and sadness again. The short few hours gave me relief from the pain I was in but it seemed harder to cope with when I felt myself escape and then having to return again. Finding Universal Medicine is definitely like ‘coming home’. I have learnt to let go, accept and heal my hurts and sadness. Make conscious choices to be present in my body and not to rely on distractions or comforts to escape. I am feeling joy being in my body, in connecting with my feelings, accepting where I am at and to continuously looking to expand and evolve.

312. I so enjoyed reading about your unfoldment back to to you and celebrating alongside you, your list of changes and achievements. I recognize myself in parts of your story and that is healing for me. Thank-you Sue.

313. Thank you Sue my issues were also being continually buried deeper in my body. This was the self indulgent me. I was so numb in my body, so down on myself in my head by living a non loving existence that I thought life was grand. What an illusion I was living in. When I started to take responsibility for all my actions including getting regular healing sessions, my life changed. Universal Medicine presentations by Serge Benhayon have been an inspiration. Breaking the illusion I was in has not been an easy task but it has been worthy of myself to bring to myself the loving aspect that lives a loving rhythm.

314. Finding Universal Medicine was like ‘coming home’.

     Exactly, being presented with a practical way to ‘come home’ to ourselves, feel what is their to be felt and living from that place. Knowing we are enough and taking our true, feeling selves with us into all that we do, with great awareness that we are not what we do, but still the BEing in the DOing.

315. Thanks for your sharing Sue, isn’t it so simple just be who we are and take that to all we do.

316. Absolutely beautiful to read this blog Sue — as well as feel how devastating it is, that we live in a world where we are taught not to honour what we feel, that what feel doesn’t really matter and that duty and systems are more important than people and their true well-being. Your open and honest sharing exposes an evil that permeates beyond the strictness of boarding school — it’s the evil of perceiving as selfish, self-indulgent or lazy the notion of caring and nurturing ourselves before all else. This insidious belief has done much in taking true care and love out of the picture for humanity which is suffering greatly as a result.

     1. You are right Katarina, it is truly evil and pure madness that we are taught from very young the reverse of the truth which is profoundly dis-empowering. This idea that it is selfish to honour our feelings and love ourselves first runs pretty deep, and in my experience it takes a while of being consistent with self-care and later self-nurturing to uproot that idea and experience the lie for what it is. Crazy really that it is so back to front.

317. Thank you again Sue. This time when I read your blog the healing I get is around the belief I had about work. My work ethic was all about looking for recognition. Finding that we help people out, especially family, for the pat on the back, plus not wanting anything else how this pattern set up for the rest of my life. The lack of commitment to life in a way that did not supports me going forward or evolving. This was just a belief about what life should be. This came about by me missing my father so much and his legacy of always helping the family for nothing just a pat on the back and my mother was the same.

     1. My work ethic came from my parents. They both worked in the residential school where my father was caretaker, so they were always accessible to me, but there was an endless list of doing outside work. Cooking, sewing, garden, DIY, and lots of summer visitors to look after. As a child, I would spend ages up a tree, or lying in the long grass doing absolutely nothing, but as I got older I too got the doing habit. Its a long road back to those days in the long grass, but I’m on my way.

        1. Thank you Catherine, I agree we need to find that grassy place where we once existed in our divine essence and balance that with a commitment to life.

318. Learning to shut down our feelings from a young age is very common. It is beautiful how you have expressed by coming back to being aware of your feelings and to just being yourself how much joy there is to be felt.

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