Recently I have been feeling how I don’t often see myself as a Son of God or feel that I have a strong connection to God or to Religion in the true sense of the word.
During the recent August full moon I decided to take a walk. At the start of my walk my mind was full of doubts – is it the full moon tonight or have I got it wrong? But after a while I decided that the number of times I consciously take time out of my day to do something to connect to myself are very few, and even fewer are the times when I connect to the fact I am a son of God, so I wasn’t going to spoil it by spending the whole walk worrying.
As I walked I felt my body, I saw the beauty of the nature around me and felt the constant conversation there is to be had between myself and God, if I only allowed myself to feel it. I looked at how I had been living up to that moment and the choices I have been making to hold back my own connection. But I did it with no judgment and was able to look past those choices and see and feel the fact that I am a Son of God.
As this inner conversation was occurring it started to lightly rain and I had gone out with only a jumper and scarf, but no jacket. I was considering turning back when something told me to enter one of the fields beside the road and climb the hill and find shelter under the trees there. As the rain fell harder I ran up the hill, making it to the top, and as I turned around and tried to catch my breath, I was blown away by the view. Brilliant blue sky speckled with white and grey clouds, green rolling hills and there, right in front of me, the most beautiful rainbow.
I smiled to myself and couldn’t help but be filled with joy. I know in my heart I was receiving a message from God. He never doubted my connection and He was reminding me of that.
I stood there for several minutes taking in the view and the small miracle that had unfolded before me. The rain stopped and the sun shone forth and in my heart I felt the eternal love of God, my Father.
As I walked back down the hill to go home the rainbow faded, but the knowing in me that I had just shared a moment with God on top of that hill didn’t. I realised that so long as I am willing to listen and willing to talk, He will always be there to hear me and guide me.
I got home and felt to sit down and write a blog about my walk but once it had been written I started to have doubts creep in. Maybe what I felt wasn’t true, maybe I wouldn’t publish the blog but just leave it on my computer. I then went on another walk, this time to exercise my dogs, and as I stepped out the door and looked up with these doubts still circulating my mind, I saw another rainbow – faint, but there. I smiled and continued my walk, but I hadn’t gone far when the inner critic piped up again and my self-doubt was once more weighing me down.
As I rounded the last house and entered the country lane I had already walked down not half an hour before, I was looking straight at the brightest, most perfect high definition rainbow ever: the colours were so crisp and arched into a bright white puffy cloud – it looked like a postcard or biblical scene. I laughed out loud and anyone watching would have thought I was bonkers. But I didn’t care, because God wasn’t letting me get away with my self-doubt.
At every turn I was being presented with how amazing I am and the fact I do not walk alone.
I made my way back to the hill where I saw the first rainbow and stood there for some time listening to the birds and just enjoying life. Through the dark rain clouds that had gathered, the sun burst forth and shone brighter than the midday sun even though it was gone 7pm. The field was lit up like it was under a spotlight and it was – it was my spotlight. I can’t describe how amazing it was in the midst of a dark overcast evening to stand in blazing sunlight. And in that moment all the feelings I have had recently – feeling lonely and thinking a relationship with a man is the quick fix I need to fill my emptiness – melted away, and I have never felt so content on my own, with no hint of needing anything else. Take that, self-doubt!!
I walked home with a massive grin mainly on the inside and a steady feeling of love in my body and the feeling of God walking beside me.
I came home and made myself the most loving supper I have ever had, then sat down to expand on my blog. It was a night to remember.
I have been deeply inspired by the work of Universal Medicine and eternal love of Serge Benhayon, his family, and many amazing Esoteric practitioners, in whose presence, I feel and know I am a Son of God.
By Rebecca, 17, UK
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Beautiful to read Rebecca, ‘I walked home with a massive grin mainly on the inside and a steady feeling of love in my body and the feeling of God walking beside me.’
So true. The communication is constant, it is us playing hide and seek.
” I smiled to myself and couldn’t help but be filled with joy. I know in my heart I was receiving a message from God. ” I’m so glad you wrote this blog Rebecca and didn’t allow your doubts to take over. Beautiful to re-read.
A day in heaven Rebecca, and you embraced the full-ness of your Soul and felt the deep-humble-appreciative-ness of what it can be like when we open our heart to the God within so the heavens can shine on us.
What a beautiful blog Rebecca, I read it for the first time a couple of years ago and it has really stayed with me. The fact that God is there constantly reminding us that no step is taken alone is so evident in your writing, even for the disbelievers.
“At every turn I was being presented with how amazing I am and the fact I do not walk alone.” The magic of God is all around us when we are willing to be aware of Him through the eyes of the heart.
Yes, when we open our eyes and / or feel our connection with the universe/stars/God – whatever we choose to call it – we become aware that we are more than merely functional human beings.
It is always lovely to feel and see the magic of God.
It’s a beautiful example of our personal relationship to God. We have lived in the shadows for so long sometimes God has to produce something so bright, delightful, and confirming to re-establish our connection to ourselves as the shining souls we are. It’s like being tickled out of the doldrums of the shadows to return to all we are again.
To know and feel the connection we have to God, and that it’s always with us, that is deeply precious, and something for us all to cherish and nurture always.
None of us ever walk alone even when we think we do.
It’s funny how we can think our walk or journey is being deviated or inconvenienced by such things as the rain but such as in your example Rebecca we are actually being led to see the rainbow confirming we are actually right where we are supposed to be.
Surrendering our vehicle to the divine plan, and allowing the magic to unfold.
What if it suits us to doubt God because of the responsibility His endless reflection of love asks us to live?
God is always there. It is only the spirit in the human frame that tries to avoid this fact, because if it were surrender, it would lose its power over the human mind and all that is created from that.
The magic of God in nature is something we all have an innate knowing of and that could be why we love to be in it.
Yes, the magic of God moments bring a grin to me too.
I also find that I tend to see more of the signs and messages from the universe when I am open to receiving them.
It is so true Rebecca that we are never alone and when we move and live in connection to our Soul the presence of God is deeply and tangibly felt.
And the beauty is that it is our natural state of being, being in connection with our Soul. We actually have to put in a lot of effort to disregard that natural connection we have, and instead we choose the temptations of the human spirit instead.
This insidious belief that I or we take on that we are alone, smoulders away in the background and which has a dire impact in all our interactions and everything we do in life – with the biggest impact of not being able to ask and receive support – which means we struggle alone – and we have no idea what keeps us in this aloneness so entrenched in our psyche is this belief. I broke out of this belief when life delivered a package that turned my world upside for a while, so much got cleared and actually I was able to let go of so much old baggage and as a result my life changed for the better, and all of a sudden so much support became available!
How beautiful to feel and know that you are never alone.
I found my way to this blog today quite by chance, but actually perfectly timed to read this; ‘At every turn I was being presented with how amazing I am and the fact I do not walk alone’. Powerful!
Yesterday’s full moon was so present and emanating much more than just light as seen by the eyes, that it vibrates in the body as a communication not recognised by the intellect, but understood by the body and being. This communication is a very alive aspect of our relationship with God, the universe, the whole we belong to.
Thank you Alexander for this, it’s deeply humbling the way our body and being receives and experiences communication.
WOW definitely take away that self-doubt!!!! Right there in many moments you had the magic of God confirming you for the amazingness you are. It is a full moon tonight and as I was driving home I was just completely in awe of it. This then got me pondering on how the full moons seem to have changed over the years. When I was in my teens I don’t think I ever saw a full moon as low and as big as they are now, feeling ever nearer, and I love that at a time when we seem to think everything is getting worse, there is a greater love and magic at play, more than we have ever had before ✨
God is always there regardless of our thoughts of self doubt. At every turn God was there showing you not to doubt yourself with a rainbow, what a beautiful confirmation you received not just once but 3 times. It is a reminder for us all Rebecca how futile doubt is when we know in truth without a doubt that God is always there, supporting us at every moment to remind us we are a Son of God.
Isn’t it amazing how God manages to do that for all of us at the same time. We all receive exactly what we need – the mathematics of it is unfathomable!
So true Nicola. The unfathomable magic of God, he is there for all 7 billion of us every moment of the day, a concept the human mind cannot begin to comprehend.
Amazing how God was not supporting you to entertain self-doubt Rebecca, ‘God wasn’t letting me get away with my self-doubt.’
In know right! There are so many messages and when we are still inside ourselves there is so much to feel and learn from each and every moment and still we go for self-doubt with all what we can do almost. It really shows we are not just human and there is a duality in us that we need to become aware of, otherwise we are always at the mercy of our own ignorance.
Indeed, He doesn´t let us get away with being less than his equal sons, it is only us who try hard to ignore the fact and play being less just to indulge in exercising what we consider to be free will, and in doing so, feast on the delusion we were powerful.
Profoundly put, we are so powerful by love – no matter how good or bad we played life and walked by creation’s ways.
Beautifully said – we are always being pulled up by God to be all that we are as His Sons and out of creation. It is only our resistance and willful ignorance that we indulge in the comfort of creation to not feel the truth of it all and our responsibility in it.
I love the way God sets up signs for us along the way, beautiful that you were aware of the message, so many times we see something and ignore it, and when we do God sends us another message because he never gives up.
True, we do not always acknowledge we have seen the message, or we do not fully read what the message is conveying.