Years ago I was in a presentation run by philosopher, teacher, writer and practitioner Serge Benhayon, where he shared that ‘seriousness’ can become an intensity in life, where we often become absorbed in something, harden and then lose our joy and lightness. Even though I mentally understood what he was saying, how did that play out in my life?
I can be light and playful from time to time, which I deeply know is my natural essence, but this is not my everyday, every moment way I feel. And to be even more honest, I have forgotten how to laugh ‘from the stomach,’ especially about the silly things I do ‘wrong.’ Yes, sometimes I can really laugh like that, but in general it does not come easy to me.
The other thing I observe is that my body feels rather contracted and skinny, especially on the right side creating hammertoes in my feet, for example. I also have a condition called ‘Scoliosis,’ which basically is a body that has grown out of sync creating an S curve in my spine and hips, therefore I’m unable to stand up straight.
Could it be that I was not only living seriously, but also that this seriousness had ingrained itself deeply in my body? Just like people who live in constant sadness, where you can see this sadness in their face?
I had to admit that I had been living seriously for a very long time and that it had become a way that was normal to me: so normal that the way of living had ingrained itself in my body.
But what had happened that made me choose to live seriously? And what could I do to go back to my natural way of living, the way I vaguely remember from childhood, which is to live lightly, playfully and joyfully every single day?
For years, I knew this theme, but never really chose to work on it. The seriousness had become my normal and it really did not seem to bother me that much. As a result, my body, which is the reflection of how I am living, stayed contracted as it was.
The Point of Evolution Presented by People
I could have continued to live like I did, but life constantly offers us possibilities to evolve and the only thing we have to do it is see it and act on it.
People we meet reflect back to us exactly what we need to work on – on ourselves. For example, we meet people who we deem are unreliable and judge them for it… this most probably suggests that we have to work on where we are unreliable ourselves. Once we resolve the unreliability issue in ourselves, those people magically disappear from our lives, or our relationship with them changes completely. The lesson is learned.
So I met somebody who was, what I thought, really serious. And because my seriousness had become so normal, I met him not once, but three times, to understand what beautiful point of evolution he presented me with. The first two times, I still judged him for being so serious, so blind I was. I then realised I had come face to face with my own seriousness – a possible lesson to learn.
I acknowledged that I was living seriously and made a decision to stop living like that.
Our Soul is Not Serious
I decided to also do a little study on seriousness, and ran into an article about swag, the Australian slang word for stylish, playful and cool: in short, the opposite of seriousness.
Our Soul is Swag
After that I could even feel that my Soul would also love to drive around in a vintage car, like Ray Karam, one of the guys featured in the swag article.
So then I figured out it gets really simple. I don’t have to take on a role of being playful or humorous but I just have to connect to the deeper part of me, my Soul, and speak and act from here. And, of course, clear all the energies and beliefs that foster seriousness, that are not me but are still stored in my body, just like somebody stores sadness in their face.
On a practical level, I have taken up Connective Tissue sessions with Kate Greenaway (a Physiotherapist and Body awareness, Connective Tissue movement specialist), which is restoring the flexibility and yumminess in my body that I vaguely remember as child – the antidote for the contraction and therefore the seriousness. This takes quite some dedication as I have been doing these exercises at least two times a day for a couple of months and only recently began to feel the changes in my body.
One belief that made my body contracted – which resulted in my seriousness – was chasing and following big dreams, a strategy my father reflected to me so well. I can sometimes feel my body feeling the future, but I don’t try to make pictures of it that my head then executes, totally ignoring my body (I’m working on this). This striving has led to a consistent ignoring of the body with abuse and contraction – the embodiment of seriousness being the end result.
As I realised, not living seriously but living playfully, light, with swag and humour, is living from the Soul.
A way of living which is called The Way of The Livingness, and these insights about seriousness and how it has affected my life, just confirmed that. I just have to commit to that way of living, to myself, to my Soul, just a whole lot deeper.
Yes, I can do that. It is a loving discipline, but definitely not with ‘contracted’ seriousness and with a lot of fun!
By W.P.
Further Reading:
I am at last learning to be playful (in my 70’s!)
Our Bodies Hold the Key to the Truth of Who We Are
Returning to our body – The wonder, beauty and science of our body
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Like watching a TV show we can become lost in the fictional story of our day – wrapped up and super carried away. We need to remember it’s an illusion. Dramas untrue – Love is what’s real.
I got all serious about something recently, that really wasn’t necessary, then I got a lovely reminder from nature to lighten up and be playful about it. A squirrel playfully bobbing along the wall in front of me, in that moment I changed, I got the message and felt fun again, the heaviness lifted. A great reminder to keep it light.
I grew up as an only child of older parents and I have a feeling that there was much more seriousness in my life than joy. But I also know that underneath the seriousness there is a whole lot of silliness always waiting for an opportunity to burst out; and it does. In the last few months I have been working with children two days a week and I am loving observing them having fun, being silly and generally enjoying every moment. What wonderful teachers they have been to support me to dismantle what is left of my seriousness, and how very liberating that is.
It is beautiful when we start do rediscover how lighthearted we actually are at heart.
“And to be even more honest, I have forgotten how to laugh ‘from the stomach,’ especially about the silly things I do ‘wrong.’” Until fairly recently I too had forgotten how to laugh like this. However in the last couple of years I have laughed more deeply over the most innocent of situations, and it has been absolutely wonderful to reconnect to this light playful part of me that never went away, but just lay hidden under a rather big pile of seriousness that is now at last dispersing.
“Could it be that I was not only living seriously, but also that this seriousness had ingrained itself deeply in my body? Just like people who live in constant sadness, where you can see this sadness in their face?” – i know exactly what you mean Henrietta. The way we move, how we think, the energy with which we live, does shape the body to reveal the truth about how we’re living and the quality of life.
The expression we use when in connection to soul, is always exactly, what it needs to be.
I really do catch myself sometimes getting really serious about stuff when lightness and joy is all that is needed, sometimes I put it down to age and temporal responsibility but realise these are not excuses. If we are able to be playful life becomes naturally more joyous.
I know this lightness and playfullness and I know the seriousness too. I get serious when involved with family and thank you for mentioning it because I feel that I need to take this more seriously( pun intended), to look even more closely at how I get drawn in and cut these old ways of being. Connecting to the body more consistently and with more awareness feels like the way to go.
“As I realised, not living seriously but living playfully, light, with swag and humour, is living from the Soul.” I have for so long lived with serious, life was serious, because I had to get it right. I am gradually letting go of this seriousness and when I am connected to my body I can feel a lightness and joy from within.
I always took life very seriously, and was often told to lighten up. Only at the time I didn’t really know how, until I came across Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and through their presentations I realised the more I trusted myself through connecting to my body, the more freedom I felt within, and the tightness and hardness I felt within my body started to disappear.
Seriousness can be overrated and used in a way that is actually harming for the body, as you described it can put our body in a rigid state where there is a lack of fluidity in our joints and ligaments. We can see from our body posture this easily – as when we are serious our body posture changes, even our facial expression does as if we are partly on “freeze”, gorgeous reminder that we need to embrace more playfulness within our lives and within our daily interactions.
Sharing our light is an expansion of our whole way of moving and it not only frees us from thinking how we are to be but the lightness on our movements offers a great freedom to share, connect and be willing to show who we really are and re-connect to the child within.
Thanks for this reflection on seriousness. I have had a few friends let me know how serious I can be at times and I have been noticing this more and more now that I have some awareness… and I have been noticing how fun and playful it can be to be silly and make light of things rather than make it doom and gloom. It is a choice, on how we see and respond to the world. And it is only with awareness that we can change those old patterns of behaviour that we have lived with for so long that we think that they are us, when in fact, they are clearly not.
The moment I start to find myself getting serious about something I feel my focus becomes really narrow and it is all about the point I am trying to make completely at the expense of my body and everyone around me. Sure things need to get done but the way and the quality in which we do them in makes a huge difference. After all what is the point on achieving some great feat when we have left everyone else around us in a wake of disaster not to mention ending up with an exhausted, fatigued and stressed out body!
It makes sense that being serious allows the body to stay in a certain tension that locks the body and stops the flow of playfulness. Amazing to recognise and then let go.
Bringing myself back to a natural sense of joy of lightness helps me to open up again – if I get too bogged down in something it’s like I’ve put blinkers on that stop me seeing the whole picture clearly.
How can we find ourselves in being serious, working hard and taking on burdens wherever we can ? It all serves the purpose of self identification as when we live from the soul, from the deep knowing of who we truly are, all big things become small and the space opens up for light and playful ways of being.
Swag wells up from a place deep inside you. It is not only fun and cheeky but it is also full of grace – amazing grace.
I know seriousness! I grew up in a serious family and when I face them I can be very serious but every time I feel yuck as it is not me. But I appreciate my seriousness and its accompanying yuck as it is an honesty in my body that this is not a true way for me and without needing my seriousness to change I am taking over bit by bit of my life in playfulness and joy and it will certainly come back to its source and oh what fun.
From my experience about seriousness I would say that this is a form of protection, a kind of trying to control life… which is indeed very useless and draining… and boring by the way!
‘Swag’ can have such a wonderful ripple effect on everyone and everything around because it brings fun and humour into the day – there is nothing like a good laugh to get those particles dancing. ‘Swag’ may also trigger jealousy in another so awareness is a very handy tool to always be present with us, so that we do not stumble in our ‘swaggering’ tracks!
Could it be that jealousy has come to be to stop people from lightheartedly and joyfully enjoying their ‘swag’? Thanks for the reminder and subsequent prompt to consider what is really in play in all of this, Lyndy.
When we don’t put up the barriers with ideals and beliefs that we carry from pictures we have taken on we can let all the swagging in the world ooze out of us.
Yes it is a great realisation. Relax and release the hardness and the seriousness eases, lessen the seriousness and the body relaxes.
To be light and playful when things are ‘serious’ without being flippant is a great reflection of keeping the situation in perspective and not taking it personally.
Seriousness is one of our choices to not express in the fullness of ourselves. It is used by the world as a recognition of authority or expertise but it is a far cry from the truth expressed from our hearts. This is great to nominate as it frees up our body to then express in the true way of authority in the world.
Seriousness is just another version of control because we know exactly how to structure our posture and face to “look serious”, and we do it. But why? Perhaps the ease of being playful is too freaky? Because we’ve convinced ourselves that we have to “work hard” to achieve “success” in life?
And so we control our way out of true joy…
I have reactions to people who are serious. But that tells me this is a part within myself I have to heal and take more responsibility for. In my reaction to seriousness I am choosing not to be taken seriously or respected in the level I deserve. I start to understand why I am serious as it is usually when I take on the emotions of others, and this deepens my understanding towards why others are serious too.
The beauty of our souls is that we hold such depth and also lightness interconnected as one. Allowing ourselves the space to cherish the duality of who we are allows us to laugh, express and play through our movements and it brings a great simplicity to life allowing our swagger to shine and the seriousness to melt away.
The soul is always full of expression this is why when we express from our soul we feel full and complete.
What I love is when we express from our Soul no matter how much we say it feels complete, whereas when we want something we often over-use words to make a point and always, well usually, walk away thinking I could have said it better this way or that way etc.. Expressing in full leaves us content ready for the next moment of expression without dragging the past with us.
It is amazing how seriously we take ‘serious’. I was just remembering a student telling me about a school presentation and prize giving day and how serious it all was with championing the academic spirit, but when one student got up and gave a talk with ‘swag’ everyone was actually so relieved to be able to enjoy and laugh instead of being oppressed by the tyranny of academia.
Yes it does, not in children though – their normal is all about play, joy and being themselves so why have we lost that?
It’s possible to be playful when we are in purpose. Purpose is often viewed as something so very serious, which of course it is, but we do not need to lock down on ourselves in seriousness. We can be playful and full of purpose.
We, as a society, have together made life quite serious… I noticed lately how much I leave myself at home when I go out to my classes or internship its is like I get a serious version of myself and because everybody is doing this life gets very serious. It is like a breath of fresh air to meet someone who is themselves in the day and I am super inspired by those people. It is very freeing to realise it is not about being serious but about being ourselves, in what ever way that comes out.
Seriousness is something we need to catch ourselves in as it is not our nature. We are divine in essence, which to me brings a sense of lightness, playfulness and joy. I have to stop when I get bogged down in seriousness, as I am caught in the stresses of human life instead of bringing the lightness I actually am.
“From Serious to Swag” – swag is just another name for simple ease. Exactly what the soul is.
Love how you were inspired by the sexy swags in the blog you read. The fact you did not go into jealousy and comparison with these men is a testament to the type of man you are.
Th Soul is not serious, the Soul is not hard, the Soul does not judge, the Soul does not react , the Soul Is.
Connective Tissue Therapy most certainly provides a great basis to bring out the natural swag in people!
The joy of being ourselves everywhere we go is indeed a joy in itself; It is a joy to behold, appreciate and celebrate and as a bonus it gets confirmed everywhere we go.
I agree, it is truly attractive and inspirational when we have the confidence to both accept and laugh about the things we may not really like about ourselves.
‘I acknowledged that I was living seriously and made a decision to stop living like that.’ – Acknowledging and owning our own behaviours and patterns is a great step towards healing and true change.
Absolutely Kathleen, we tend to make it about the other person, when we really like something in a another person. They might just remember us or ask us to embody the fact, that we carry the same quality. Isn´t it beautiful how life and relationships with people work. Everything gets reflected, if you are just open to it !
It’s amazing what our bodies can reflect to us. We can walk around with so much heaviness from so much seriousness. When we connect to the energy of our soul it is so light. Such a contrast, and amazing that we can still connect to this even within a body of serious heaviness. This is so obviously the way to heal.
It’s a great point that when we are serious we absorb…this is a supportive reminder.
Very true Adele. To be serious can be a shrinking away from the full joy, playfulness, and lightheartedness that the situation actually requires.
Seriousness is falsely believed to be professional, so playfulness is sometimes unappreciated 🙂 And in regards to the reflections in our lives, it is also beautiful to observe that everything we feel we appreciate in others such as playfulness we also have ourselves.
That’s a great point – it is commonly thought that being professional needs to come with a seriousness – but taking the business seriously does not mean that we have to let go of our joy and playfulness, on the contrary, any business would thrive from these qualities.
Without saying a word, when we appreciate another for their unique qualities they know. It gives them permission to share even more. When I feel this I know that we are all deeply connected and that when we ‘see’ another, they let themselves be ‘seen’.
I experience this every time in photo shoots for example – I meet people and just appreciate the essence I can see or sense. The other person gets support in meeting themselves without their probably existing behaviours, pictures and ideals of how they should be. It is every time a magical blossoming and the person has a new marker inside, how truly beautiful they are, just being them.
Our approach to and way of life determines the way our body behaves, looks and feels, but what’s amazing is that at any given moment we can use this reflection to truly evaluate where our ‘gaps’ or issues are crippling us and change this.
I had not put this together so much until now that having a serious approach can inhibit the connection to all that we can feel and read…
I love this we don’t have to leave one’s joy for anything, even when we are dealing with something serious – we can still enjoy ourselves in that.
Indeed, whenever a difficult decision or situation gets heavy, something is wrong. It can be intense of course and not easy, but the moment there is heaviness involved I know that I am not in a good place personally.
“I realised, not living seriously but living playfully, light, with swag and humour, is living from the Soul.” This says everything and the real joy and beauty of life being expressed and lived is something that Universal Medicine has shown me in that simply being me is very simple beautiful and joyful and allows the burdens to be lifted from my body and walking in the lightness of who we really are with quality, integrity and responsibility by constantly learning, allowing and feeling everything.
Yes. Working or living with children definitely supports us to remember, stay in touch with and enjoy our natural light hearted playfulness.
What I love about developing my relationship with soul is that it is something I take hugely seriously (with deep reverence) and yet it has introduced me to a lightness of heart and approach to life that is so exquisite and playful.
This is a powerful process to go through and amazing that there is support form practitioners such as Kate to support us through these unfolding times in our lives.
I loved the blog on swag too, and I’ve noticed recently being a lot more comfortable in myself and my own swag in the sense of not walking with my head down and trying to be small, but waking with the natural ease and confidence I feel – confirmed when someone came up to me at the weekend and said that they don’t often tell people this, but my look was on point and to me it felt like a confirmation of my ease with my own stylishness
If we are serious we are not connected to God and the Hierarchy as they are light, love and Joy, whereas ‘swag’ is an alignment with the true source.
“Could it be that I was not only living seriously, but also that this seriousness had ingrained itself deeply in my body?” I remember people telling me as a child to ‘take that look off your face or you will end up looking like that’, and not really believing them. But it is very true. Our bodies have a memory and if we think or do anything in a certain way over a period of time, the body will eventually take that on in the same way that a tree would grow out of shape if there is something obstructing the natural flow of its growth.
There is a time and a place of seriousness, but when it becomes our dominant way of life and our default approach, as you say we become locked into seeing life in this way. But there is a joy available that comes from us – we don’t have to wait for life to deliver us the perfect picture for there to be a vitality and a joy, it comes from the way we relate to life.
Of late I have been connecting far more to my playfulness, feeling the lighthearted and joyfulness that I can live life with and it feels so much easier than the heavy hard slog of seriousness.
Seriousness comes with it’s weighty companion of complication which hang out together in the mind. More and more I realise when I allow simplicity to be the guiding foundation then there is only space for joy and lightness in my body and the mind starts to align which feels amazing and supports more of the same.
I can feel just how much seriousness comes into my own life and although not as much as before there can still be those times when I think ‘you need to be serious about this’ but why and at what cost.
Seriousness is indeed a serious dis-ease. I love it when we get a reflection of how we are in another person. It is quite amusing how when we get to see just how we have been behaving . . . we usually hate it and begin by judging the reflection harshly until that aha moment when we realise ‘this is how I am at the moment’. All reflections are such a blessing as they are an opportunity to grow…
Great article. I waiver in and out of seriousness and joy. It’s a good marker for where I am at as nothing needs to be serious. Even serious things can be approached with a light heartedness. Life can be joyful, it’s our choice if we allow it to be so or if we want to be serious.
I’ve also realised a lot of beliefs I’ve had and that joy and silliness doesn’t fit into them. Can work be joyful and playful? You bet. So can parenting, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, folding the washing – pretty much anything. Joy is not an activity but a state of being and we can be in that state and do anything.
We take life way too seriously sometimes, yet when we are more playful and light hearted, you automatically feel your body loosen up from the tightness we hold when we are serious.
I love being around people who are just being their open, joyful and playful selves – in their sparkling eyes and shining face, in their beautiful laugh or gentle humour, in their freedom to be themselves – to me, there is nothing more beautiful to witness and be in the presence of, and be inspired by to open up and show more of me and my love of life and humour, because I have found in my personal experience it is an act of trust and intimacy to let go of the usual layers of niceness and politeness and be at ease and playful.
Laughing from the stomach is awesome medicine ✨
And thank you dearly for the perfectly timed reminder… I was doing some writing earlier and serious poker face had taken over – as result, the writing had of course come to a halt. It’s a gesture of lightness of being that allows the divinity we are here to reflect and bring, to come through.
The moment I get serious, particularly around others (actually also when I’m on my own), I know I’m trouble! Because how can we get serious and heavy-handed with ourselves and others, when we live in the knowing that we are God’s Sons, going around and around, and around again, to buff away all the dead stuff and the serious stuff until such time that we are so pristine that we no longer need to do so (the going around and around thing – that is utterly magical in itself.)
I understand the going around thing being the constant opportunity and invitation to learn and open up to our innate relationship with God and connection to each other.
Let’s face it, there is certainly quite a suppressant happening in our school life which rules against laughter in class and the serious attitude is encouraged! I was (and still am) a natural laugher and enjoy life and had to suppress my fun and laughter often in school. One day in a history class when I was about 14 the teacher said something which struck me as very funny (but apparently it wasn’t meant to be) and I couldn’t help but laugh out loud, but then I couldn’t stop, I got the helpless giggle thing happening and was sent out of class to sit in the corridor. Here I was pick up by one of the Masters (not the heavenly type) and taken to the office. Luckily for me when I had to tell him what I was laughing about he burst out laughing too and i got let off without punishment.
Swag and playfulness has a way of shaking life up, nothings ever mundane.
I would say I can also be very serious about situations. When another brings in a lighter approach or I have my own light hearted way with things then I don’t feel so heavy and the situation starts to change naturally. Seriousness tries to force change but it doesn’t work or is short lived.
I have been aware of my propensity to be serious and it doesn’t feel light and joyful – and certainly not like swag. I have been aware of the sparkly, fun loving people that come into my life to lighten me up – and next time I will take it seriously – but not! Today I will lighten my day with fun when I feel a serious moment emerging.
Our soul is definitely not serious and the more I connect with it the more joyful, light and playful I feel.
I was doing a walking exercise recently and discovered that once I let go of ‘doing it right’ and allowed my body to walk freely in whatever way it wanted to, a gurgle of joy bubbled up, I realised how serious trying to do it right makes us all.
I love how we always get what we need, whether it is a serious person for you to see what that feels like, or the flu so you have to take a rest. We can feel grumpy because we have been stopped doing something or observed something we don’t want to see, but all the time, the body is showing us a different way to be. It needs to be appreciated how amazing the body is.
Looking around at who is in my life and what they are reflecting to me is awesome and shows the absolute beauty of the way life gives us precisely what we need to learn and move on – it is just for us to choose it.
It is a fun word to re-embody. It is often used to refer to a pile of money and treasure or huge swathes of fabric. Both words conjure up an abundance of something and when we connect to our own inner swag that is what we experience again, an abundance of joy and playfulness that lightens the day from start to finish.
If only we saw the gems of reflections that are on offer in our workplaces… there would be no office politics if we did 🙂
Every person we meet, every person we interact with, is a wonderful reflection of us… each person will bring us an awareness about ourselves that we can learn and grow from – it is always a positive thing although it may not seem so at the time.
Swag is seriously more hip that serious, I’m loving having a bit more swag in my life.
Your mentioning having ‘hammertoes in your feet’ has reminded me of how I have noticed my toes clenching the ground, like I am holding on for dear life! So lately I’ve been walking and stretching the toes out, feeling the soft part between my toes and foot being gently massaged into the ground with each step, feeling how supported I am as I walk in life when I stay connected with my body that is connected to the universe in every cell.
I can feel how life often seems to become more intense when I am not quite myself, everything seems so much harder to deal with as I tend to take things more personally, I miss feeling my own clarity and the support from the rhythm of the Universe around me. Of course, it’s all still there, it’s my choice to stop and allow the space to come back to me.
Light and playful is our true nature. We tend to weigh ourselves down by taking on burdens in life that squash this natural playfulness.
Just when did we decide collectively that life had to be so serious? Super cool to have role models who are super responsible yet are lighthearted and playful at the same time!
I love this.
It is a great reminder to focus more on lightening up!
I want to feel and share more of the playfulness and joy that is natural to a well adjusted human being; natural to who I am.
WE are gifted continually by the reflections that are presented all around us. The question is do we take up what is on offer or do we just judge what we are seeing and miss the opportunity to evolve.
How are we ever going to feel light in ourselves if the body we live in is being held in contraction? Posture is everything.
‘People we meet reflect back to us exactly what we need to work on – on ourselves.’.. how easy it can be to see the faults in others, I like how this offers that we could be being reflected what we need to address in ourselves. So much to learn and realise from each other and our observations.
One of the most effective antidotes to leading an enriched life is criticism, doubt and seriousness; how do you express, build relationships and found joy in all aspects of life when every choice has to be ‘perfect’ and we criticise our every move.
At work I have the role of Team Leader, and I am working with the balance of maintaining the authority of my role but also keeping it light and having fun with my team. I tend to swing from being too serious and heavy, to being a bit silly and losing my authority completely! A work in progress to hold the two at the same time.
I love your point about how when we ignore the body it is self-abuse. I would never have thought of it like this until I started to feel and appreciate the deep within under all the abusive layers that I had a quality so gentle and tender, thanks to Universal Medicine and the healing modalities, I really got to feel and connect to this.
It’s is all too easy to focus on not being serious without truly knowing what could be there in it’s place. Having swag as a focus means that seriousness drops away naturally as it no longer fits.
It is an amazing shift when something that we understand intellectually suddenly becomes an embodied experience, a tangible appreciation of a shared wisdom that makes much deeper sense because we have felt it to the core. When such truths are shared from a living experience, it broadens the opportunity for it to become a lived experience for others too and hence empowers us to make different choices in life that nurture our inner evolution.
We live with seriousness for so long that we do not see it as anything to change or even give it any consideration, but as the author has pointed out we are missing out on a far more joyful way of living, and it is not our natural way to be so serious.
Great reminder that life doesn’t have to be that serious and if we are able to connect to our soul it will be simple ,silly, playful and serious all at the same time.
That’s it for me too, Kevin, life is super serious – as in important and needing to be embraced as the opportunity to learn that it is – and so much of the learning is to realise and live the light heartedness, playfulness and joy of our relationship with love.
Intensity in life is something we all know so well. It is one of humanity’s favourite words at the moment, along with ‘stress’. It is a way of life that we all do not like, and yet it has almost become a badge of honour to be stressed ad intense. The one who brings in swag and fun and, also deep integrity, sweeps across the land like a blessing from God.
I find the more committed to purpose I am the the more space there is for laughter.
Being serious isolates us as we are naturally so joyful and playful. It’s like a people catcher, grabbing our wings and taking us prisoner, but only if we allow it to be there.
Yes we imprison ourselves in a wall of seriousness until joy and playfulness comes creeping through the cracks and if we give it permission it will eventually bring the wall down and we are set free.
Marylouisemeyers I love how you describe how playfulness comes creeping through the cracks and can bring the wall of seriousness crumbling down. A bit like how water seeps in everywhere and erodes away any obstacle in it’s way. Nature has an amazing way of reflecting back life to us.
Yes, it really is whereas swag does the absolute opposite, it unites us and breaks down barriers and allows for a deeper connection.
‘‘seriousness’ can become an intensity in life, where we often become absorbed in something, harden and then losing our joy and lightness.’ – I saw this happen with someone close to me, the older he was the sadder he became, like someone trapped in a place they didn’t want to be, feeling powerless to do anything about it. I could feel the ‘giving up’ and disappointment with himself and with life. However, the truth is, we always have a choice, we only stay trapped if we choose to do so.
This is so key, ‘we always have a choice’ and as I get older I am embracing the truth that it is never too late… I actually enjoy feeling that I have to conform and comply less.
Reflection is an amazing science and an honest marker to your truth. I appreciate the wisdom expressed here and what it has offered me to take into my day reminding me who I am is all around me.
I recently found myself in a situation that although was serious, and at the time I did take it seriously but afterwards was able to see the humorous side of it and consequently was able to really laugh at myself rather than give myself a really hard time which is what I would have done in the past. So instead of letting this ‘guilt and feeling of being stupid’ stay in my body, I have been able let it go by accepting the responsibility I had in what happened and to then deal with the consequences, and to see it as another lesson learnt by bringing yet more responsibility to my life.
Inspired by this blog I discussed this with a member of the team that I work in today and was surprised that the way I felt about work at the moment totally changed and I felt lifted to a different approach for the beginning of the day.
When we are playful the fun side of is known, through its every day practicalities.
I feel the word serious itself is somehow misunderstood or we have a certain picture of what being serious looks/behaves like.
The Soul knows how to be serious and playful at the same time. It can be playful in serious situations without ever disrespecting what is happening, and it can be seriously playful in situations as needed. I’m serious about what I am sharing here!
I love your seriousness Henrietta, light and without any hardness or push.
I have been much more aware of how serious I am throughout my day and every time I think of your blog, it reminds me to be playful, to be myself and be aware of how I am holding my body.
I love the word ‘swag’… we don’t use it in this context in the UK, but it holds full of lightheartedness, playfulness and joy!
I love to see peoples faces when a touch of play is brought in and often people love to join in.
What I feel with ‘serious’, is a reluctance to move forward, almost slightly indulgent. Serious wants to be met, maybe because deep down serious doesn’t want to be serious at all.
Seriousness is like liquid cement, when it’s poured over something it solidifies.
Understanding how we are naturally very joyful and playful, I realise how very hard we have to work to resist this and reduce ourselves to the tediousness and restrictiveness of serious.
I love to watch children play together so joyfully, giggling at little things, and making a game out of nothing. Their freedom of movement when jumping in muddy puddles or picking up bundles of fallen leaves reminds us of the natural movements we all can do. When we feel the heaviness of adult life in relation to childhood, we can know we can make the changes to return to that joy.
Yes, the light in their eyes and the light in their touch reminds me that this is within me too.
It is through our connection to our inner -heart that we get to know true joy is our natural right and that it is our responsibility to move in a way that reflects the beauty, sexiness and true joy within.
I know that when i’m trying to achieve in just normal every day life i become all serious and with dullness about achieving whatever that is, the completion of a list, a place to get to, potential job move, eating dinner before a certain time, buying the groceries for later in the week etc etc… though when i allow myself to just be – without a set plan, and be in the current space feeling a rhythm or flow … that things (and much more) get done; the day is really enjoyable and light.
When joy isn’t in our everyday living, we know we are being far too serious!
Thanks Paula – this has me smiling in appreciation of this simple truth. Bring on the post-it note to stick everywhere where I’m being too serious and then can’t remember such amazingly simple wisdom. It’s quite a realisation to see how serious wipes out simplicity, seriousness loves complication in my experience.
It is very interesting to see how all our behaviours have a way of showing themselves through our bodies. We can ignore it in life but one day we have to deal with the physical outplay of our behaviour.
Swag and playfulness are definitely a divine antidote for the false seriousness that is one of the melodramatic guises that the human spirit takes on for various identifying causes. There are however times where playfulness is not appropriate, and we can easily feel when that is the case.
This way of the future is the best Medicine and will save a lot of unnecessary heart-ache.
Yes exactly Sandra, it is the way we choose to live that provides us with the medicine that will heal, or what will keep us chugging (or rather struggling) along on the same path of ill-health and devitalisation.
Those life-style choices are down to the smallest things… and begins with the honesty of how self-destructive and self-negating so much of what we do generally is.
My playfulness is still with me. I just need to connect to me, remember the 2 year old. He is in there waitiing to come out and play. And it as easy as just being me again. Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for presenting a way of life that makes sense and has turned my life around, just by living it.
If your life is serious, you’re not doing it right 😉
I have spent years trying to understand, strategise and make changes to my thoughts and it has been next to impossible to change the very entrenched patterns – and yes I know the serious well too. It has been only recently that thanks to Universal Medicine and the modalities taught by Universal Medicine, I have started to focus on lightening up in my body and all my movements of life, not just my thoughts. And wow the joyful difference that makes.
So the S in your back stands for serious!
Re-turning to our true nature is to return to the innate essence of joy, stillness, love and harmony and we can speak with truth rather than the oppressive nature of seriousness.
Please don’t think for a minute I am not taking you seriously as it is very beautiful that you share your experience as you are not alone in this serious dis-ease and it is great to nominate and throw some light on it.
Seriously though I think we should all work hard to not be serious.
I am having a strange experience as I read this blog because every time I read the word serious I keep giggling and then think I should be more serious 🙂 🙂 🙂
There is so much that we deem as “normal” that is exposed as something false that we have taken on once the re-connection to Soul is established. It’s great to return to who we truly are, and I agree being “serious” is a false energy.
How beautiful to come to the awareness that what is reflected by another may simply be there for us to see it within ourselves and heal – or to confirm and appreciate.
“People we meet reflect back to us exactly what we need to work on” if not and ouch, then this can often be an amusing encounter – when I feel the reaction to another’s behaviour and then realise why 🙂
We have become hardened to life it’s as though we have grown a crusty shell over our sensitivity. I am reminded of all the millions of hermit crabs on a tropical beach where they are scurry around avoiding each other yet at the same time trying to feed. Perhaps this is God’s way of reflecting back to humanity how we are with each other in life? We can learn a lot from nature if we took the time to stop and observe.
Life is set up for us to become serious and lose our silly playful sides, but like everything else this is just another choice and this blog is a gentle reminder for me to remember to be playful more often.
Following beliefs that we have and trying to achieve ideals will result in us living in ways which are not from our heart and so will ultimately always lead to point of reflection where we are asked to reconsider what we are doing. The opportunity to constantly learn.
I am so incredibly grateful that I was born to two very silly parents. Both my Mum and my Dad are naturally very playful people, who are very comfortable being silly.
I wonder if part of seriousness is simply not loving and cherishing the life you have chosen, and then swag is loving life to the max.and giving it your all.
‘I have forgotten how to laugh ‘from the stomach,’ especially about the silly things I do ‘wrong.’ Yes, sometimes I can really laugh like that, but in general it does not come easy to me. Yes, I can remember when laughing from the stomach was normal, frequent and came with ease. Now I seem to bring far more focus to my issues and needing to try to achieve to get things right whilst forgetting to enjoy the moment. This is a lovely reminder to enjoy each moment, including the moments we call mundane, to be there fully present and appreciating what is on offer and allowing ourselves the grace to laugh when things don’t quite go according to plan.
For me it was a wonderful discovery that my way of thinking was a result of my body and its movements as with that knowing I was and still am able to support my body to heal even more.
I so love this ‘swagerliferous’ blog. Seriously, The Soul is full of joy and swag and so are The Hierarchy of Souls in Heaven. Frowning belongs to the doubtful mental realm.
One thing I have learnt is that when I am caught in right and wrong a seriousness creeps in. It’s a way to fill space in my body up with what in not love and leave no room for my soul to be in joy.
“On a practical level, I have taken up Connective Tissue sessions with Kate Greenaway (a Physiotherapist and Body awareness, Connective Tissue movement specialist)…” – connective tissue healing sessions are like experiencing energetic suppleness; they always allow me to feel the beauty of myself, my body and of life too.
Being continually serious is like carrying a box around with us that we push ourselves back into and seldom emerge from – and it is often meant to convey reliability and that we can be counted upon; an utter false and a very unpleasant way to live life. Bring swag back, it’s definitely the new black.
I have always been playful and really laughed a lot as a child, I seem to lose my sense of humour though when parenting! I can see the funny side of my seriousness and frustration but I feel if I could bring in more of my natural ability to find life amusing that I would enjoy the journey with my child a lot more.
I also find there are certain situations or relationships where I seem to have conditioned myself into being serious, and it really can pull things down – so learning my way out of these when I catch them, and yes, it can be amusing the games at play!
What is shared about working towards a picture is a great awareness when it comes to feeling the seriousness that goes hand in hand with the images. It seems when a picture, ideal, concept etc. is created the cost of the striving for the outcome comes at the loss of playfulness due to cutting off connection to our soul and all that is on offer. In other words we take control because we think we can create something better than the divine. More looking out to nature and the sky will remind me of the potential that is truly available.
It is incredible to realise the impact of thought patterns and behaviours on our bodies and then to realise that we are totally in the driving seat when it comes to changing them.
When I consider how our thoughts and behaviours influence our bodies I imagine it’s similar to the way that water shapes rocks, in that when water flows the same way repeatedly over rocks, over time it creates lasting impressions in the surface of the rocks. But unlike rocks, our bodies have the ability to re-shape themselves when the damage isn’t too extensive.
There are no coincidences – everything happens for a reason, so I love your reminder that there are lessons to be learnt from the reflections of those around us.
Yes, myself too because I tend be judgemental and so caught up in the busyness of my day to stop and notice what is being reflected to me.
I used to link seriousness to something outside me, like this made me serious and/or gave me the excuse to be serious. But actually it feels more like a reaction to the deepening and expansion of love and joy that is on offer. Meeting people in difficult circumstances or very sick and who are still finding the joy within has inspired me deeply.
I agree, some of the most inspired moments of my life have been with incrediblely sick people and seeing that there can be an enormous amount of joy in life whatever the circumstances.
From this observation, that people in difficult circumstances or very sick are still finding the joy within, we can see that their connection to their innermost being supports the body in whatever it may be experiencing.
It’s not surprising that kids lose their playful and silly sides, when you consider the impositions that we place on them. Remaining playful and silly for many kids is as easy as swimming in an iron lung.
I think we can all get carried away at times thinking that serious means we are serious about something. My husband, Ray Karam, always has a way of bringing fun to the smallest things, these light surprises break you out of your head when you are getting bogged down in life. Sometimes he asks one of our kids to pick something up off the ground and when they turn around he wedgies them, they always crack up! Or other times at the end of a serious meeting in the morning, instead of saying goodbye he will say goodnight! These may sound like small silly things but they are super powerful; they remind us of how free we were when we were kids, it also inspires and invites more fun in everyday life.
How damaging seriousness is when it becomes intense; I do this a lot and can feel other people trying to get away from me! Now that’s funny, and I can laugh at it and all the intensity disappears. As soon as I understand that nothing is personal the whole world opens up and becomes a playground. And being playful doesn’t mean there is no depth, I go to The Power of our True Voice workshops with a sound and singing teacher, Chris James, where I experience a playfulness and humour and a profundity that is transformational.
‘…the way I vaguely remember from childhood, which is to live lightly, playfully and joyfully every single day…’ I too remember this and at times, as an adult, can live lightly, playfully and joyfully. Now, the trick is to live this every day as an adult!
Playfulness is a choice, when we connect with others and live connected to ourselves, it is there naturally so. To be serious we need to harden, shut down and hold back what is true.
Agreed. I just saw a friend be very playful on a video boomerang app. The joy and hilarity that came through were just as it is when children are cracking up in laughter. To get to that moment of being open to being silly meant she had to be living in a way that allowed that spontaneity in.
Playfulness makes life fun, making light of life, being light in life.
I notice people are more drawn towards someone who is playful like a magnet because they are delightful to be around and they remind us that we can be like that too. We naturally love playfulness but I am seeing more seriousness than playfulness in most of the people I meet.
I agree Doug, everything is shown to us if we are willing to see it and feel what is on offer.
The people that are constellated including our family are there perfectly to support us to grow in one way or another and when I see it in this light that is the bigger picture there is an acceptance of that which I am working with and healing within myself and within others.
If we are able to stay light and playful, even in a serious situation, the resulting outcome can be very unexpected and positive, as opposed to a potential drama that does not end well for anyone if we remain serious and unforgiving.
What your words highlight to me today is that it is always all areas of life that we need to nurtured and cared for, otherwise we become lopsided and run in one direction and see only very little what is going on.
I have found I am more serious with certain people and playful with others. I know when I meet someone who is playful they inspire and remind me to be playful too.
Seriousness weighs you down and takes away the joy – much better to see it for what it is and lovingly let it go.
I could have continued to live like I did, but life constantly offers us possibilities to evolve and the only thing we have to do it is see it and act on it.
Having the open humility to read the reflections that we are being offered is a huge step in acknowledging the truth of what we feel.
As I approach issues at work where I can feel that I would usually bring a level of seriousness I love the potential to bring swag instead – my focus for the day today…
“…Our Soul is Not Serious…” Yes, Quite the contrary… which highlights how traditionally religion in years gone by, was (and still is in some sectors) represented by dogma, steep in its rules, guilt, shame, or punishment (especially in the Dark Ages) exposing how much ‘off track’ this representation of religion and Soul is to the truth of love, joy, stillness and harmony.
It is a beautiful reminder to keep returning to the lightness in our hearts no matter what. A tough challenge to remember sometimes, but when we do, it transforms the intensity of the situation.
I find that I get serious when I want to be taken seriously but this is a total illusion because the more playful and accessible I am to people the more they do take me seriously.
I love the way you present this theme and how seriousness can hide itself behind normal adult behaviour. To let go seriousness is very freeing.
The world does need so much more joy and playfulness… adults can learn so much from children in this regard. Watch a child and it reminds us of our own joy and playfulness we had as youngsters too – that it is innately within us all and easy to re-connect to.
Life is amazing in that everything is a reflection for us – other people, the butterfly crossing our path at that perfect moment, the shape of our spine, how we move, our thoughts…. all reflections for us to learn and grow, to evolve in life together.
“Our Soul is Not Serious” – another way to look at this is that our soul is seriously swag though being serious when that is required or called for, though applies the ease of swag throughout the process of seriousness.
It is amazing how being respectfully playful instantly lightens the energy when it’s feeling very dense and intense.
As the years pass, I’m finding I don’t take myself so seriously and I can really laugh out loud at some of the things I do, or think …. like when I drove into a Westfield shopping centre a couple of months before Christmas and I saw they were putting up a system of lights, green and red in the car park ….. I actually pondered on whether there would be orange lights too, for Halloween. I was loving the lights so much, it was only as I turned the corner in the car park that I realised what the lights were actually for, ha ha. Of course, this all took place in a matter of seconds, or maybe one minute!!!
I had a great conversation with my 92 year-old aunt this weekend about how serious we all are as a society in general, and how we’ve forgotten how to laugh with our whole bodies. She remarked that we’re so disconnected from what we can feel that our laugh often comes out as a squawk from the head, quite fake, and not the full-bodied laugh she knows well.
Feels so unlocking/freeing to have the willingness to accept that you’ve taken on the ‘serious’ way of life. How awesome it must be to recognise it and then work through letting it go. Life is surely waaaay more fun these days as you experiment with getting your swag on.
I love it when i’m on fire, my sense of humour is absolutely hilarious!
Love that you love your sense of humour! This made me smile!
Children are a great antidote to seriousness. They do remind us of our own natural qualities of playfulness, joy and harmony.
The Soul is naturally playful. And so this can be a key for us in recognizing if we are inspired by the Soul or by another energy…how simple is this?
Seriousness is connected with control and playfulness with surrender and space. The first consumes copious amount of energy and the second provides us energy.
I find it quite remarkable how our body displays and expresses the way we live with patterns and behaviours. These patterns can be quite unconscious to the person but can be seen demonstrated in the frame and expression of the human body.
All that thinking and planning which makes us feel like life is so serious and hard starts to be eliminated when we begin again to let ourselves ‘be’, building that confidence.. and swag.
Who said responsibility and commitment to life had to come with a seriousness, anyway? It all works so much more and is more inspiring when we can be playful with it!
Great sharing, I too know seriousness well, It has has taken me a few years to let go of the serious and connect to my soul and my playfulness. Sure there is a purpose in life, but that comes with more joy and playfulness.
Life becomes intense when we get too serious, and besides it is much easier to deal with challenges with a good sense of humour.
We can be seriously playful… and play seriously.
I like these two words together.
I like the fact that even saying the word “swag” makes me smile.
yeah it makes me smile too
Much of the humour and comedy that is expressed in the world has some very viscous barbs attached to it. It can be very subtle, but there is often a strong undercurrent to that which has been falsely wrapped up as ‘a joke’. Perhaps this is why we can use seriousness as a protection? Thus it is so powerful and healing for true humour and cheekiness – the type that doesn’t take any advantage of anyone – to be lived and expressed.
What you say Otto is very poignant. I have been noticing more and more how much humour and so-called jokes are in fact carrying barbs. One can feel the petty wrangling energy wriggling underneath the humour and it is easy to call it and not enter into this trickery. Presenting the barb as a joke has a double swiping process of making you look uncool for not laughing as well as getting at you for some past and unremembered thing which has usually been misinterpreted! What a squandering of energy.
SWAG lived with love is a reflection that the world badly needs
It’s interesting when we meet people and realise we to have the same conditions. Can be an ouch moment, but an opportunity arises to make different choices then.
There is a little paradox here. The soul isn’t serious and we can go through life being light and playful, but we do need to take life seriously. If we are open to the fact of the soul and energy we will be aware that we need to be energetically responsible. This needs to be taken seriously, but it can be done with lightness and fun.
You have beautifully illustrated how we can have a ‘loving discipline’ in the way we approach life without getting serious about it and losing the flow of doing what is needed with a lightness of touch that ripples out to everything.
Interesting how much we or I can actually equate being responsible with being serious when in truth if there is no joy we are not being responsible either.
So true.. being responsible is basically being true to who we are and what we can feel, which doesn’t mean being serious at all – because our souls aren’t serious but super uber full of joy.
Great point Michael that responsibility does not have to be serious and that we actually have a responsibility to be who we really are in the world and therefore support others to do the same but this does not have to be serious but if we are expressing from our soul would naturally be light, playful and humorous.
Yes, we can be bogged down with seriousness and taking on the world, feeling its weight on our shoulders, but having a light approach and allowing the joy, fun and laughter back Into our lives simply requires self permission. A permission I need to give myself more regularly!
Great article on exposing how serious we can get, and that this sucks the joy out of our lives. You often see this seriousness etched on peoples faces as it becomes ingrained with how we conduct ourselves through life, so actually highlighting that we do not need to live in the heaviness of seriousness is gold. Thank you.
Reconnecting to the innate playfulness we knew as children when we are older is such alot of fun. It is something I too am exploring, and am appreciating just how much lighter I feel and how it opens up so many more opportunities to really engage with others.
Important distinction here about the difference between ‘playing a role’ – the role of a playful one – and being the true playfulness that we innately are. Playing a role is never a substitute for being our true selves. It may be preferable on one level, but on another it is still a separation from the pure joy of being who we are.
My idea of fun and playfulness is coming full circle. It was wonderful to be playful as a child, swinging on a swing, imagining stories in my head, or running around with a friend in the playground. Then it changed to beating a friend at a game or a race at school. Then it morphed into getting drunk as a teenager and being irresponsible, we were young and could live like that. It contained for many years throughout my life in a disconnected way with highs and lows and not much fun at all. But it has returned back to a simple joyful expression of catching a falling leaf on a walk, colouring in a book with my granddaughter or stroking and playing with my lovely dog.
Esoteric Connective tissue is amazing for releasing the body from the contraction and tightness in the body. I do some very simple exercises everyday that keep my body supple and support me throughout the day. I know without this my body would struggle to cope with my work where I am often standing in one place for 6 hours of the day
Living seriously is a big contraction away from the soul. I found it amazing that there is an S – for seriousness in your spine! I have met lots of people who have become serious as adults but vaguely remember being fun and light-hearted as a kid. Could it be that this playfulness and silliness is one of our greatest gifts to those around us and when we lose it we do need to be committed to bring it back.
I used to wear a frown a lot, had a furrowed brow, but bringing The Way of The Livingness into my life these are no longer there, I feel to feel Joy and my playfulness has come out to play, life is very different now.
I love how you show that judging another, is usually a reflection of a pattern unresolved within ourselves. And if we focus on this, a lesson is learned.
It is a quality that once re-claimed we wonder how and why we ever let go of it. Learning to treasure it and keep it dear in the face of life’s challenges keeps a light hearted quality present that everyone loves.
I find when I get worried about something and if I don’t talk about it then I feel seriousness drop in and my body becomes hard. It’s an incredible difference though when I do stop and express it to someone, the absolute lightness is felt in my body instantly… I can go from nearly stomping around to wanting to skip!
Seriousness can be very forceful in meeting one another while you both can feel that that playfulness inside is actually who we truly are.
I remember as a child and a teenager almost laughing my head off or being doubled over not being able to stop. This blog reminded me firstly of that but also how serious we can get when we make life about mortgages and bills.
Seriousness is an energetic straight jacket.
Seriousness is implied in a pious way of living and yet there is nothing more playful and light than true religion.
My daughter so beautifully reminds me when I am being too serious, and when this is called out I can feel just how closed down to a finite cone of concern my focus can become on things that in the big picture really are not that important. This usually translates to a contracted feeling in my chest area and then I know I have to look at why I am trying to control things based on some expectation on how things should look in my life without accepting things that are not even in my control or that I am not responsible for.
There is a real feeling of squashing myself into a box when I find myself being very serious. Yet, I also know that life is not all about laughing and joking as there are many situations that call for me to be very steady. So building a way of living that supports steadiness and the ability to observe and not get sucked down rabbit holes has meant I have far more playfulness and joy in my day to day as normal.
Our pictures of the past and the future are a great distraction for our minds and take us away from feeling our bodies and their loving messages.
‘People we meet reflect back to us exactly what we need to work on – on ourselves.’ – it’s very beautiful how this happens, such a gift. We get to experience what other experience around us when we choose the same behaviour – true learning.
Swag is such an important part of an openly joyful daily life. We all have an inner swag and its kept under wraps for most of us, perhaps for fear of standing out, of looking too joyful! Its crazy that such a thing might exist when all we all really want is to be joyful. So time for the swag to come out, and unreservedly so.
I agree Heather, it is so natural for us to be playful, joyful and fun. No matter how people react to this, it is worth expressing who we are and letting our swag come out as you say.
Seriousness is a mask we use to hide the true swag found in our movements that connect us to our authenticity of being and that is a real shame for all to appreciate and reflect.
I just had a memory of being told I was a funny but serious child. I wasn’t actually serious I was inquiring and deeply reflective, though I can see when we try and work life out from the mind alone we leave the natural connection and flow that the body knows so well, light and playful.
Humour is definitely a medicine 🙂
Agree. That cheeky twinkle in the eyes is an infectious invitation toward God
Light-heartedness in life allows the joy to naturally express. Though t is sometimes necessary to have an in depth ‘serious’ consideration of ourselves and life, and that can open us to greater awareness as it has for you. Our soul can be very playful too and reflects beautifully so much about ourselves, and what is next.
Well this has given me food for thought about what is being reflected back to me, and what lessons are on offer to me (and all of us).
“One belief that made my body contracted – which resulted in my seriousness – was chasing and following big dreams” – when we chase dreams it stops our future unfolding naturally for us and we set a goal that is often unattainable compared to the per-conceived goal and hence disappointment is unavoidable. However, if we follow the unfoldment of a project that we are inspired by, each step is taken one at a time with no expectation or pressure upon the next step, and this allows true magic to happen.
This is a joy to read – that we can live in a way that is light and playful. People seem to take on the burdens of life far too easily and the result is a contracted, serious, busy, self-importance – and in this, there is no openness and joy. It seems like we can put a wall up and call in all these excuses to not be the playful soul we are.
I think being serious about something isn’t necessarily always a bad thing – there are times and occasions where it can be appropriate but it’s not healthy to be locked into it all the time regardless of the situation as you say; when we’re locked into seriousness then it’s not something that we’ve felt is needed in the moment or occasion but something that we are attached to…
I’m not sure I get the word ‘swag’ but playfulness comes to mind, we can be so much more playful in our lives
Swag suggests to me someone who walks with playful step, but also does not hold back from being all their embodied gorgeousness in life.
It is quite a strong experience for me – when I don’t live in my fullness, then my body gives me detailed and sometimes painful feedback. I then can choose to bury the feedback or to heed it and the symptoms in many cases go away or don’t get worse even at my age (late 50s).
Seriousness feels like the ultimate guard to not feel the hurt of not living our true selves.
Well said, Lieke. There is definitely something we are holding onto rather than surrender to the joy of being fully ourselves.
Lieke yes it does feel like a guard to not feel the hurt, most of us have been walking around with that guard and hence being caught in the seriousness of life, and lost our playfulness.
‘Seriously’ great blog and I’m sure I won’t be the only one to say that. I love what this article presents about reflections of people and things around us. The part about seeing and being effected by how someone was and after a few interactions in place of reacting or judging the author made a choice to feel deeper what was being reflected to him. This has inspired me to reflect on the relationships around me and see where I am pushing back against the mirror so I don’t have to see. Also great to see ‘swag’ is catching on.
I agree and if we hold any reaction that doesn’t allow our bodies to truly settle or be still then this is something for us to look at or feel deeper. We so often hold out not truly feeling what is going on in front of us and yet we can’t stop the feeling, we can only dull the awareness to what we are feeling. So in this way your choice to fully feel everything at every point not only makes sense but would also be a healthy or loving choice. Why try and pretend you didn’t feel something when truly being who we are this is actually impossible. Get to know ourselves but how we feel, get to know a marker of how you feel truly still and then every point you step is about returning to that marker. Then you know no matter what you face you are always seeing it all the best you can which in turn leads to you next step being in the awareness of all this, sounds complete to me.
It is super important to be light with life and I spent a lot of my child hood really seeing the funny side of life, I do really feel that it is innate in me to not be bogged down by issues.
Vanessa this is spot on – seeing the funny side is so refreshing for us. As they say, you don’t have to have a sense of humour in life but it sure helps!
Seriousness contracts, hardens, often complicates and prevents us from truly connecting to ourselves and to others. Playfullness and laughter create space in the body and from there we can let more love in, grow and evolve. I would say: a clear win/win situation.
One could playfully say that to be take life seriously we ought to not get serious about it! Where is the joy in life if we are not bringing our essence to it?
There is an old saying which says
“humour is the first rule of a true philosopher“
I love a good laugh, and I used to have lots of comedy books on my shelves, read the Peanuts cartoons, watched comedy programmes on TV and listened to the radio recordings of The Goon Show. But these were all things outside of me making me smile and laugh. Where is the inner joy? Where is the natural playfulness? Your article has given me something to ponder on because I can feel my own seriousness and how much it has dominated my life as I’ve tried to fit in with an image instead of being naturally me.
I can relate to seriousness being a part of my life where my body would harden and I would want to control people and situations. There would be a lack of acceptance as I reacted to that which was there to be healed within me. As I have become more aware of how seriousness plays out in my life I can say it is becoming a behaviour of the past and instead many moments of joy are being lived.
It made me laugh that after explaining how serious you have been for a lifetime, you mentioned that you met someone who you judged as being very serious and only on the 3rd visit did you register that you were facing your own seriousness. How often in life do we end up reacting to external situations simply because they are triggering our awareness of something within ourselves we have chosen to not see? In that light what is being reflected is an absolute gift.
I really enjoyed this article. It is almost a given that as we reach adulthood and the responsibilities of life that seriousness comes hand in hand. I know it did for me. However through my own process of reconnecting to my soul, I too can feel the playfulness and fullness of who I am and what my life really is, and it is beautiful to laugh and have fun again.
Its interesting to be faced with another who has a trait or characteristic like you, and be blind to the fact. In many cases it has been a great point of learning for me and a shock to realise that I too ‘behave like that’.
I have been deadly serious for a lot of my life! Like serious to the point of scary, zero sense of humour and joy. I’d made a point of being successful but was putting the brakes on big time by making life a struggle and identified in not being appreciated. So I got caught between being very competent whilst also being caught up in self doubt and not stepping forward to claim positions I could actually do creating a cocktail of frustration, resentment and self condemnation. Not a fun mix and one that can still creep in when I am on a drive to get something accomplished. How wonderful to read this and see where I am being seriously loveless! It’s not then about not being serious about what there is to do when there is purpose in it, but being light and playful, always knowing the bigger picture than just reducing it to me and my needs or desires.
“As I realised, not living seriously but living playfully, light, with swag and humour, is living from the Soul.” What a great blog-this way of living also reminds me of how joyful children express themselves.
It makes sense that if we’re serious we move differently and it effects our body, we know what it feels like to feel a spring in our step and then how dense and lethargic we feel when we feel down, perhaps the difference could have a bigger effect on the structure and mechanism of body than we realise.
A true laugh ripples through the whole body.
Great to realise that those people that come into our lives are reflecting something to us to learn from and are not there to be judged or criticised. I know that this is something that I will be renewing my awareness of as I go through each day. It feels to me that as we learn this, as was the case here with seriousness, we also offer an opportunity for those reflecting such things to us to move on from their ways of being in relation to the area of healing of also.
I like the reminder that we meet the people that we need to learn from, particularly when we find them annoying or challenging, so often we are being handed the lesson and it is what we do with that lesson. Such awareness is really a wonderful thing, and I love that an easy piece of advice that we can all benefit from bringing more playfulness to our days.
Being seriously playful is the only time the word serious is being seriously put to use!
On reading what I felt was the Soul is neither serious or swag it just is and when we truly surrender and re-connect with our Soul all that is needed to be expressed is given in that moment … whether it is serious or swag.
I can really feel how seriousness translates as inflexibility and tension in my body and how effortsome that is, and how my body yearns to be light and agile – not because of some picture of ideal, but because that is the way it feels more natural.
” ‘seriousness’ can become an intensity in life, where we often become absorbed in something, harden and then losing our joy and lightness.” I know this so well and to drop the false protection it has given me and to surrender to the joy and lightness is an ever-deepening process.
This question is a great question to ask of ourselves
“Could it be that I was not only living seriously, but also that this seriousness had ingrained itself deeply in my body? Just like people who live in constant sadness, where you can see this sadness in their face?”
I feel we tend to rush through life and do not give any thought to what is actually going on with our bodies. Yet if we were to stop and listen they could tell us so much, they are our very best friend and for most of us we have no awareness of this. In our rush to get things done, tick that box, the constant go, go, go the last thing we are aware of is our bodies and this to me sadly is our downfall.
A number of years ago I practiced Laughter Yoga in an attempt to lighten myself up. I laughed a lot and saw that as a marker of how happy I was. But it was forced or fake laughter, it was all about the appearances of ‘happy’. There was silliness and fun, but again it was very much on the surface. There was no real connection, certainly not with myself. I was doing it for my confidence levels. What’s interesting when we are connected to soul is that playfulness, confidence and fun is very naturally and happens without any effort. There is a joy in everything that you do – no matter how mundane – because you are doing it. I don’t always live there however and I know when I am getting serious that I am not connected. So being serious is also a marker.
Yes, fake it until you make it has some serious drawbacks.
All that what you are presenting here makes a lot of sense and it shows how much we buy into the images of how we need to be and how life needs to be. As you describe to connect to our inner knowing and lightheartedness is a simple thing to do and step by step we can let go of the habits and behaviours that we have adapted to get through life.
How refreshing to read about the exposure of seriousness and that this is not what life is about! Indeed we can take life so seriously, and this really is not needed. We can live in a loving disciplined way without the heaviness of seriousness.
Having fun in everything we do and bring to the world around us, has no room for seriousness!
Reconnecting to the playfulness of our inner child brings a lightness and fun back into our way of living.
God is also not serious; on reflection, seriousness is not only an affliction, it is something that makes us stand out, an investment in individuality.
Oh! ouch I really got what you said Gabrieleconrad, thank you for explaining so clearly our investment in seriousness. I have been hiding my natural joy behind a wall of seriousness.
There is a seriousness to why we are here, and to where we are inevitably going… but it’s not by being serious that we come to the realisation and the beauty that awaits. It’s in the playfulness that we express the lightness that is who we all are.