First Time Mum: Realising Control is just too much Hard Work

by Trish Mazur, Marine Charter Co-ordinator, Gold Coast, Australia

I had my first child recently, during the time I have been attending Universal Medicine (UniMed) workshops and courses. The support I have received from the UniMed workshops has helped me to look and focus on myself and has given me an understanding that I am responsible for the choices that I make in my life.

By focussing on myself and not blaming others around me for the things I don’t like about my life, my relationship with myself and others has only grown and blossomed as a result. It has also enabled me to make the ongoing small changes to start living the way I want to live, and not wait for others to change.

UniMed has helped me see how and why I have always needed to control things in my life. Being open to taking responsibility for my choices has made me feel like I have the power to change my life and consequently has just made the whole experience of being pregnant, as well as having a baby, amazing. Of course, not without bumps along the away (excuse the pun), but it has just made it so simple.

Control was a big issue for me; letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… go figure!

It’s allowed me to go with the flow and accept the changes my body needed to make to accommodate a growing baby, rather than be down on myself that I didn’t look like society’s ‘ideal’ of what a pregnant woman should look like.

It has allowed me to adjust with the financial changes that my partner and I had to face. We have been able to lovingly simplify and prioritise what is important and needed, and what is not.

For me, letting go of that control allows things to happen – to unfold beautifully and naturally as and when they are meant to (not ideally either) rather than forcefully, which had previously always been my style. This then also allows me to know what to do when I need to do anything – rather than using every bit of myself to be ahead of the game and know everything there is to know before it even happens, if it ever happens.

Feels crazy now to think that this was how I used to live. So much wasted energy, so much stress just thinking about trying to control everything.

UniMed has helped me feel what is right for me and my baby (previously, I feel I would be more concerned about living my life according to what others would feel is right for me), as well as helping me feel that I am capable of what is needed.

Life would have definitely been a totally different story without UniMed. Thank goodness for Universal Medicine.

320 thoughts on “First Time Mum: Realising Control is just too much Hard Work

  1. I am a new mum and it is great to read this sharing. What I also feel is that the more I simply allow my daughter to just be herself, the more she is herself. As soon as I worry or have a picture – it all goes wrong – nothing flows. This blog breaks the illusion that parenting needs to follow books or advice. We know it all, it is just about trusting.

  2. “For me, letting go of that control allows things to happen – to unfold beautifully and naturally as and when they are meant to (not ideally either) rather than forcefully, which had previously always been my style. ” with control there is always a picture of how we think things need to be, and when they don’t we end up with anxiousness frustration and the need for more control, letting go and allowing life to unfold in it’s natural way brings an ease-fullness and a simplicity to life.

  3. Ironically when we seek to control or think we are in control we are actually being controlled…

  4. When a woman is pregnant, she has a growing baby in her belly. When the woman is also growing in terms of awareness and in terms of her standing in the world, what she can bring to the growing baby is no less than the world.

Leave a Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s