by Trish Mazur, Marine Charter Co-ordinator, Gold Coast, Australia
I had my first child recently, during the time I have been attending Universal Medicine (UniMed) workshops and courses. The support I have received from the UniMed workshops has helped me to look and focus on myself and has given me an understanding that I am responsible for the choices that I make in my life.
By focussing on myself and not blaming others around me for the things I don’t like about my life, my relationship with myself and others has only grown and blossomed as a result. It has also enabled me to make the ongoing small changes to start living the way I want to live, and not wait for others to change.
UniMed has helped me see how and why I have always needed to control things in my life. Being open to taking responsibility for my choices has made me feel like I have the power to change my life and consequently has just made the whole experience of being pregnant, as well as having a baby, amazing. Of course, not without bumps along the away (excuse the pun), but it has just made it so simple.
Control was a big issue for me; letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… go figure!
It’s allowed me to go with the flow and accept the changes my body needed to make to accommodate a growing baby, rather than be down on myself that I didn’t look like society’s ‘ideal’ of what a pregnant woman should look like.
It has allowed me to adjust with the financial changes that my partner and I had to face. We have been able to lovingly simplify and prioritise what is important and needed, and what is not.
For me, letting go of that control allows things to happen – to unfold beautifully and naturally as and when they are meant to (not ideally either) rather than forcefully, which had previously always been my style. This then also allows me to know what to do when I need to do anything – rather than using every bit of myself to be ahead of the game and know everything there is to know before it even happens, if it ever happens.
Feels crazy now to think that this was how I used to live. So much wasted energy, so much stress just thinking about trying to control everything.
UniMed has helped me feel what is right for me and my baby (previously, I feel I would be more concerned about living my life according to what others would feel is right for me), as well as helping me feel that I am capable of what is needed.
Life would have definitely been a totally different story without UniMed. Thank goodness for Universal Medicine.
The Truth about Universal Medicine 
Sometimes life presents us with things that might feel a little bit challenging but in truth, they are actually opportunities to grow and evolve. When we let go of control we can feel a very precious, detailed and divine order at the other end, and even if it might feel we lose some form of control the order we can live by lest of control is way more enjoyable and not at all draining.
Every time I learn more about control, or more so, more about allowing, accepting and observing I realise how useless and destructive control is. It serves nothing and no-one. It hardens our body and is exhausting. Making choices from our truth allows us space to feel what is next.
Thank you, for it leaves us to feel that mother is nothing to do with fitting in, ticking boxes or doing it hard… It is about surrender to yourself as a woman and see what nurturing qualities lay ahead. Of course guiding the children with a discipline that is called love.
Great blog Trish, I can very much relate and I am learning to let go of control too. I find control pushes people away, it is a form of protection that is very much fear based and letting go of control feels less stressful, hard and complicated. Life can be so simple and joyful when we let go of control. It allows things to unfold and opens up opportunities for us to learn and evolve.
I was chatting to a friend yesterday on how much control plays out on having to be on the ‘front foot’. Always making sure you are prepared for anything…and you are quite right, it is exhausting!
Yes, it is exhausting to live with control and perhaps this is why so many people are exhausted in our society. Control seems to play out in more ways than we realise and it is commonly accept as normal. So, it is great to nominate how harmful it is to run with control as it creates disconnection and complication.
It feels so freeing to let go of control. I find the more I do, the less tension I hold and the more free I am to be me.
To control everything asks so much effort and it does not lead to anything that is worth mentioning, maybe we can be proud of what we have accomplished, but when we are honest the next is already there ready for us to control. It is exhausting.
Life is a simple cycle and when we are born the impact from our previous incarnation will have an effect on this our current life. So when we understand how we have a divine purpose, would it not be responsible to live always in a way that shows respect and decency to others and thus develop good karma?
The support we get from Universal Medicine has to do with re-discovering the beauty of movement and re-imprinting it. We live moving around music that we sync to, independently to whether is true for us or not. But, we take this for granted. When you realize what are we taking for granted and how devastating it is for us, everything changes.
I often get caught in controlling how I want my work tasks to complete. When I finally get to what I wanted to get to it completes quickly or if I go against the flow it backfires.
“letting go of that control allows things to happen” – Your article is a great example of those situations when we try to control something, we try again, and again, and nothing seems to work, and yet when we let go or leave something to unfold it unravels in a way that may not be how we ‘thought’ it should have, but actually in the end everyone involved is supported and actually the outcome is better designed than we could have ever created ourselves.
It is so contradictory: everything we want by being in control, we get by letting go of control.
I agree – letting go of control is so much more liberating and puts us in charge of life. Trying to be in control always put me in anxiety and expectation which would never be fulfilled.
Thanks Trish, there is a palpable joy in all the changes you have shared in your blog. This is a great line “letting go of that control allows things to happen – to unfold beautifully and naturally”, and how lovely to be in surrender and flow with it all.
I know when I was pregnant I felt a beautiful stillness within that supported me to let go of control, it stayed for a while with me when the baby was born but there was no solid foundation, as there is now, to hold it so I related it to my pregnancy and not to what it is, a quality that’s within to connect to so we can let go of our controlling thoughts and behaviour.
I agree Trish, being controlling is such a waste of energy and it is definitely draining. Letting go of control is something I am working on. I am beginning to recognise how it a strain on our relationships and sucks the joy out of everything we do when it is done under the form of control.
There is also a lack of intimacy when we use control. We allow in an outer source of why something needs to be the way it is by using control, and allows it to get in the middle of relationships. It is more destructive than we often realise.
Its quite amazing that you have felt to look at control in your life at a time when the choice to control is at its most intense, having your first child.
“By focussing on myself and not blaming others around me for the things I don’t like about my life, my relationship with myself and others has only grown and blossomed as a result.”
This sentence makes total sense….when we hold people to ransom to perform to the pictures in our head (spoken or unspoken) and/or we blame them for our choices, we impose on them, and we limit where the relationship can go. Let that go, and absolutely they can blossom without those restrictions.
I have found that when control comes into play it is because there is a picture of how things ‘should’ be in order for us to achieve an outcome, mostly one of recognition or acceptance. Yet when we focus on what feels true, on developing loving relationship with our body and being, we discover that we already are complete and being guided by our connection to who we are, is everything we need to be, and very freeing.
Spot on Carola, beautifully expressed. This is where I trip over again and again, from falling for control because I have a picture of how things ‘should’ be. And, when I do this, appreciation goes out the window and I am left feeling hurt, drained and disconnected. The part you shared about recognition and acceptance, I can relate to this because whenever I am seeking any form of recognition or acceptance, control kicks in straight away to run the show.
‘Life would have definitely been a totally different story without UniMed. Thank goodness for Universal Medicine.’ So many of us can say this now…I certainly can too.
Everything is actually not making sense when we do not relate it to energy. Part of my deeper acceptance of life is because things (from my small vision) did not make sense, there seemed to be a whole (crucial) bond missing.. That Universal Medicine has brought to us, -the existing science of energy and this has brought back the laws of energy that has never been gone, we just moved in a way that made us deny it.
That is super cool and such an important step to trust that you know what your body is telling you. Our lives have been surrounded by pictures so letting these go, and letting ourselves surrender and go with the flow is awesome, one of the bonuses to that is the children don’t feel any tension either or expectations being put on them.
Your relationship with your child is more important than anything. Learning to honour that should be our normal so yes, thank heavens for Universal Medicine or we would still be trying to live to someone else’s ideal, eeek!
It is a long time ago since I was a mother of a new born but I can still remember the way I wanted to control life so that everything would be perfect; that the baby would be a model baby and me, the model mother. But that certainly didn’t happen as trying to control anything, especially a baby, is an absolute futile exercise whereas getting out of my own way and allowing life to unfold ensures that life is way more simple and definitely not hard work.
Is it not so that a lot of people would love it to be not so exhausted – here is one possibility to stop such exhaustion: “For me, letting go of that control allows things to happen – to unfold beautifully and naturally as and when they are meant to (not ideally either) rather than forcefully, which had previously always been my style.” Thank you Trish for not holding back what are you living now through the freshness of Universal Medicine.
This really is very huge – to not wait anymore for others to change, but to simply live in a way that feels true for you. The depths of self-love here is ginormous as is a love for people because everyone has the right and the freedom to explore and live and learn according to their own path without feeling imposed upon by another person to change to suit their needs…
Being controlling in life comes from not feeling solid in ourselves, hence insecurities can be triggered and control is how we try to not feel all this. Yet control is very abusive and manipulative and never truly resolves anything, at best control merely delays when we have to deal with something which by then is a bigger issue than it is today.
There is a big difference between living in anxiousness and nervous energy controlling what is ahead to being aware of what is needed in the future to support oneself. The latter is a knowing that comes from a connection to self where what is impulsed from our soul perfectly supports us what is needed; the other drains and is exhausting depleting us with emotions running through the body.
We have so many pictures of how we want our lives to be that we use control to try and make what we want happen, which then leads to frustration, disappointment, and complexity. Letting go of control brings with it a sense of easeful-ness harmony and flow to our lives.
I agree Jill and it can be easy to forget how much control actually creates disharmony and lack of flow, especially if we have lived with it for a long time. It is when we choose to let go of control that we get to experience how simple, fun and harmonious life can be.
What Universal Medicine brings to be people is the missing link to life – we are forever energetic before we are anything else, and we can use some support to come back to that. Now and forever.
Being able to let go of control is huge, but very liberating and you can realize that it was not needed anyway and how much you were standing in your own way. That when you do let go, that creates the space for others to come forward and be more of who that are what could be needed for everyones evolution.
Brendan I love reading your one liners, they have such a powerful message in so few words.
For me I’m learning control equals outcomes with complexities; flow is harmonising.
Ah- ha – this is totally rocking the comfort of being in control.. and the discovery that it actually does not get us anywhere.. As you shared, this will only be a very discomforting experience at the end and makes us rather exhausted.
I like your playfulness Danna and I agree, it is very uncomfortable to be in control because it creates stress, anxiety, fear and complication, it doesn’t sound fun does it? But, why is it then so common to see control play out in life?
yes Chanly, It keeps us safe, safe from a potential trigger of hurt.. Control is somehow safe, even though deep inside our body it is highly uncomfortable and unnatural. As we are designed to LOVE.
When we let go of control, we are able to live a life that is naturally true for us, it has its own natural rhythm and flow, and we are no longer pushing against ourselves.
Letting go of control gave you more control. I totally get that!! This is something I have played with also…through experimenting with simply trusting things to fall into place and actually allowing myself to work with the flow and order of things rather than trying to orchestrate them. IT WORKS! Wish I could say this was my default setting, but for now it’s still a work in progress as old habits die hard.
Something I’m learning to let go of controlling at the moment is time. When I live from my head, and pictures of what I think I need to do, by when, it feels very hard and controlling and and I get stressed out when I fail to meet my own self-imposed deadlines.. even as I write that I can see how unnecessary that is! Learning to live from my body is a much more loving, and less controlling way to be – and magically there is always enough time for everything that needs to be done.
Yes those self-imposed deadlines are there as huge expectations on ourselves, never a support but an extra layer on our true selves to make us anxious and to feel we are not enough although we try so hard.
It’s amazing when we let go control life can just flow and it becomes so much more than we would often have allowed with our control. I love what you share here and how Universal Medicine has allowed you to live what is needed to support you and your family and to feel you know what that is in you. That’s true support and a real gift.
Letting go and allowing our bodies to be simplifies life and brings harmony back to our movements. Not only does it free us from stress but others feel the difference to and it allows them to honour their own feelings and move and me just as they feel to as well.
yes, this has been one of the biggest things I have learnt about letting go of control, the fact that others are benefitting from me not trying to control everything – and I didn’t realise I was!
Letting go of control gives us a freedom to be who we truly are.
Thankyou Trish, I could really relate to this line “… using every bit of myself to be ahead of the game and know everything there is to know before it even happens, if it ever happens.” I hadn’t realised til I read this the amount of over-preparation I am doing internally for the future, instead of trusting in myself and taking care of the basics.
‘Letting go of that control allows things to happen – to unfold beautifully and naturally as and when they are meant to.’ Awesome reminder Trish, letting go of control has been a game changer in my life too as it is so exhausting living with the control and the constant pictures – this is a work in progress that has been such an important and loving step to take in my life.
There is a natural and very strong flow to life – but we can’t feel and adhere to it if we try and control the outcomes.
When a woman is pregnant, she has a growing baby in her belly. When the woman is also growing in terms of awareness and in terms of her standing in the world, what she can bring to the growing baby is no less than the world.
“For me, letting go of that control allows things to happen – to unfold beautifully and naturally as and when they are meant to (not ideally either) rather than forcefully, which had previously always been my style. ” with control there is always a picture of how we think things need to be, and when they don’t we end up with anxiousness frustration and the need for more control, letting go and allowing life to unfold in it’s natural way brings an ease-fullness and a simplicity to life.
I am a new mum and it is great to read this sharing. What I also feel is that the more I simply allow my daughter to just be herself, the more she is herself. As soon as I worry or have a picture – it all goes wrong – nothing flows. This blog breaks the illusion that parenting needs to follow books or advice. We know it all, it is just about trusting.
The process you describe here sounds like one that could be applied by anyone at any time with similar benefits – pregnancy not required!
The way I approach situations since my studies with Unimed really is amazing, I feel like even though I don’t live it fully yet, I am able to see everything, I am able to feel everyone and everything around me and have a deeper understanding of them. When you understand, you no longer judge and even the “worst ” people aren’t truly really bad, they are simply lost and in the choice to disconnect in an attempt to run from the pain they inadvertently become an empty vessel and in turn are used by whatever decides to highjack their vehicle.
In blaming another for how we feel or for the way we are living, we forgo the opportunity to make the real changes needed in our lives. When we are willing to be honest with ourselves we will realise that we are the ones making the choices in every moment. It then makes no sense to give our power away through blaming another for the situations we find ourselves in. Embracing responsibility is empowering as we are aware that in every moment we are freely making choices and can feel how the choices we make are what changes the quality of life we are living.
Letting go of control to be more in control – wow, that is a gold for me. I really get that, but I am not living that in full because every now and then I clock how much investment I have in where others are at and how I am allowing that to be an opening for hurts. A very beautiful, delightful sharing. Thank you, Trish.
“Control was a big issue for me; letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… go figure!” This makes sense – Letting go of controlling the ‘temporal’ functions and mechanics of life frees us up to be more aware of energy and the quality of how we are. Letting go of control asks us to be more in-tune with the body and not living life from the mind and it’s limitations in feeling energy.
IW OH
To see us and nature and everything as one and the same would require a lot of work you could say. I know our thinking to say things like ‘be one with the trees’ etc but this is not what I am saying. The only way to appreciate us and the nature we currently perceive as being one is to live that way. No I didn’t say live in the trees but live the awareness that everything brings around us. Nothing in the world live isolated to another, they are all interacting all the time and so we are the same. Again I am not saying for the world to live in one house physically, at the same time how we live in our house needs to be in line with nature. Do we close the front door and ‘let our hair down’ or do we close the front door in full responsibility that the door maybe closed and no one can see but all we do is felt, felt by everyone, every movement? This is nature, no one thing closes it’s ‘door’ without the full appreciation, responsibility and respect that everything is felt regardless. We are all one and that’s a fact, we can make it look we can live another way but that doesn’t seem to be going that great for our bodies. It’s time we lived true and from a one world view, how does your movements today support everyone or have you just simply moved for yourself because that’s what you do on Wednesday’s. There is much to be said around this subject but needless to say this isn’t a new concept or belief, we come from a time when this was ‘second nature’.
What are we controlling? and as the article is saying “Control was a big issue for me; letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… go figure!” So what and who are we supposedly controlling things for. If when we control things they don’t work out, put us under stress, hurt others, make more of a mess, don’t feel great who or what would see us go back there again? We have to see this as a game and if as I trust the article is saying that “letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control” then we need to let go. In nature which is all around us there is no control but it works more on a balance, a cycle of balance. Why do we live outside of what is all around us, what if we were to live from the great reflections we see around us and bring our life more into balance? What’s the worst that could happen? We could feel great and life would flow? At times when you look back at how we live it makes no sense, no sense to us and no sense to the world in which we currently live.
Becoming pregnant and having my first child was a big process for me. It was such a blessing having the Universal Medicine modalities and philosophies as a support to understand more about what I was going through and bring me back to the appreciation of my baby. It’s lovely that you have taken the time to express how it has been a solid influence in your life.
I don’t think we were designed to have babies and families isolated or on our own; community and love is the best environment for raising a family and learning more about yourself as a woman and parent.
I really love how you have expanded so clearly on control, in all honesty, control has been and still is a mistruth that I seem to return to time and time again. I seem to convince myself that being in control I am less likely to be hurt. I know that this is rubbish but it there is still a part of me that thinks I am safe as long as I am controlling my environment. Using nature as a reflection is a great way for me to really let go of this long-standing belief, so thank you, I will not forget these words, nature is the model and it’s only the tip of the iceberg of how I live can flow if I connect instead of control.
It’s also funny how we define or perceive nature, it’s the trees, plants and animals right? Well yes and we are included in that, we are nature. So yes let’s use nature and everything around us as a reflection with the awareness that it is us and the only reason we don’t see it this way is because we live as if we are separate from everything. It’s possible this is at the base of the control, the fact we think we are it and not just a part of something grander. If we divide the world up and live that way then we get to a point where someone presents that grandness back to you and you can absolutely refute it, almost like it would be ridiculous to even say it. Remember when the world was flat? Or at least remember the stories of that time. We are walking around in circles and those that say this are possibly critiqued for being ridiculous and yet here we have the earth, pretty much a circle, the sun representing the same, we call it the cycle of life, we say nature works in cycles and yet we think we are born and at the end die. Are we the only thing that thinks it doesn’t cycle? I mean we live and die right, it’s a straight line to the end? and remember we also use to drop off the edge of the earth at the horizon. Time to challenge more our thinking on this.
It weirdly makes sense for us to consider nature as this thing that helps us, that is if we are separating ourselves from actually being an element of it. In truth though, I can get just as much, if not more out of watching a person move in a flow, as I do watching the trees sway in the wind. I can get more out of listening to the deep vibration through a persons voice speaking pure truth, than spotting whales and hearing or feeling their call. We are nature and although the idea of nature is the plants, trees and animals, I can feel after your comment that is very narrow prospective. We has humans can inspire and even super-seed this version of nature, but first we must be obedient to it and allow a universal flow, then when we are in line with the stars, rhythms and breathe of god, we are one with it and detached from it at the same time.
I can also feel that as you share you were able to let go of pictures of what it was going to look like or be like. This is also very freeing to not be run by pictures but to be able to feel what is needed and respond.
Life would definitely have been different without Universal Medicine. Here here. … and not in a good way! ‘Control was a big issue for me; letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… go figure!’ loving the irony in this .. that when we let go of control we have more control … or is it more presence?
After reading your blog Trish I cannot but liken the flow of life with the flow of water. When we resist the flow we actually have to create a stronger force to oppose and stop that flow – which of course is exhausting. A great example of this is when we are at the beach and stand against the force of the waves vs when we swim with the waves…. And further could this also explain why so many of us in today’s world are exhausted – because we are not allowing the flow or going with the flow.
Recently I’ve become more aware of how I still try to control life. And what was beautiful about coming back to this blog was how simple it is to start letting go – rather than thinking how life should be, connecting to how I feel to live. Thank you.
Letting go control feels gorgeous in our bodies – a sense of freedom and flow occurs that is in contrast to the tight rigid feeling in our body when we are in control mode.
Perfectly expressed Jane, control is so restrictive on the body it feels like wearing a straight jacket, yet flow has an expansive feeling and comes with a lovely openness.
Whenever I feel overwhelmed, an old pattern has been to try to control everything even more, which then leads to more overwhelm! Whenever I’m feeling rushed, a raciness or intensity, it’s a sign to slow down and let go, and to keep letting go.
Trish, this comment alone is a game changer: “Control was a big issue for me; letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… go figure!”…it is a scary but wonderful thing to let go of control – it frees you up to allow for the flow of life. This, of course, does not mean we don’t plan and organise things, but rather it is about being open to any situation that arises and knowing that there is a way to handle it beautifully whilst being flexible and open rather than rigid and unaccepting of the change in how we had perceived things to be or how we ‘wanted’ things to be. Thank you for this great reminder!
To let go of the control on life gives the space to understand that life is actually one big learning and that everything that we experience is a moment to learn and grow from. Living in this way for the last couple of years has given me so much more than all that years before in which I tried to keep a control on life that at the same time made me blind to how loving and supportive life actually is.
I love this- when something else in life comes in and you realise you need to let go and trust and be more at ease within yourself to allow things outside of you just to be.
Ah the control thing. It still catches me out, but when I let go of my futile need for it, there is a lovely flow. I wish I had access to this blog when I was a first time mum. The picture I had of what I should be doing led to a lot of exhaustion.
“Life would have definitely been a totally different story without UniMed”. I know many many people who say the same thing, myself included.
Someone wrote a blog about being like a feather and allowing yourself to go with the flow and rhythm of life- I like this analogy of being with yourself in each moment to not then need to control the outside.
Hear, hear Trish, thank goodness for Unimed. There is so much space in or bodies when we allow ourselves to let go of control. I notice the more I let go of control the more I avoid going down a wormhole of drama that usually ends up being a complete waste of my time and energy. Wormholes seem a great way for me to avoid the incredible space, beauty and love that I am, it gets me asking why would I want to avoid that, and what would it feel like if I didn’t?
When we drop all the preconceived ideas or images we may hold it allows for us to express honestly and freely and we can be present with what is; control from my experience works in the exact opposite way.
Universal Medicine has deeply supported me with my pregnancy. I can say that the way this has unfolded, and also the 6 months since giving birth, is nothing like I imagined because I am constantly having the opportunity to listen to my body. It is a whole new way of living and reading where I am at and where my daughter is at and has made me realise that there is so much more than just talking when it comes to communication – and she has been communicating with me since day 1.
‘Control was a big issue for me; letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life…’ this is absolutely brilliant. I too realised how much I have been trying to control my life. Learning to let go of this feels so empowering, light and joyful. Being controlling feels awful, it shuts people out, it creates disharmony, issues and tension. Choosing to surrender and trust leaves no room for control but a beautiful flow of love.
Thank you for writing this Trish, it has led me to look at some of the comments and realise how the desire for control is playing out in my life and looking at how I am with it and how I let myself get caught by it, how it stunts the true flow and delays what is needed to evolve.
Thank you Trish. Trying to control anything is life puts pressure on either ourselves or others, and doesn’t allow an openness or flow that is otherwise naturally there when we are with what is before us.
Beautifully expressed Victoria. I am working on letting go of control, and being more aware of times when I go into trying to control things, I know I am not allowing myself to be open, trust and honour what is needed. Being controlling is usually about protecting ourselves and our own interests but this form of protection closes our heart to love, openness and joy to ourselves and everyone around us.
I too have been reflecting on how control doesn’t really work. I still give it a go, but I also experiment with letting go here and there just to see if the sky will cave in, and guess what? – it doesn’t! The clouds part and the sun shines through and everything is simple again. Being a control addict, it’s a work in progress to let go of, but one thing is for certain, and that is from my lived experience, control doesn’t ever work.
Recently I realised that when I am not simply ‘being’ me and going with what I am feeling I am in ‘doing’ mode with my head leading the way. I am in that controlling kind of energy that wants everything done yesterday. And then I realised that my head only knows how to control! Simple matter of reconnecting to the body, and the control issue with all the frustration and stress that goes with it, is gone.
How funny, I couldn’t agree more – having children was the time of my life I realised there are somethings we have absolutely no control over and giving up the control and trying to live to a picture was the greatest freedom afforded to me – and my children when they arrived.
“It’s allowed me to go with the flow and accept the changes my body needed to make to accommodate a growing baby, rather than be down on myself that I didn’t look like society’s ‘ideal’ of what a pregnant woman should look like.”
Isn’t it interesting how many pictures are put into our heads, e.g. role models in our lives, through advertising, glossy magazines, music clips, movies etc. which then make us feel something is wrong with us when we don’t match these pictures? The thing is nobody really fits these pictures as they are designed to make us feel less and unworthy.
We learn so much to hold onto things and thus controlling life that we think this is normal, but as you say thank goodness for Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon for showing us that there is another way, a way where we can let go and express in our fullness instead of all that we have learned and think we have to be.
What an awesome support this would be any time in our lives but especially before and after having a baby. I’ve realise just recently that I’ve carried for most my life I belief that I am not capable and how much that has affected me. The truth is when I connect to myself and trust what I feel there is never a question of my capability and no need to fall into being controlling.
‘Control was a big issue for me; letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… go figure!’ Well said and very true Trish, letting go of control is an incredible feeling – you feel more light and spacious and everything just seems to naturally flow.
Thank goodness for this blog. I didn’t realise, or maybe didn’t want to admit, how much I try to control pretty much everything, from how the day will pan out, what I am going to eat, never mind today, tonight, but next week, or the week after or even sometimes months ahead; work, how I am going to feel, the day, week, month, year ahead ( all in the same day by the way), the classroom, the kids, other people’s reactions or responses by not expressing fully, and how I ‘should’ feel about things, how I ‘should’ dress, what I ‘should’ look like, – these all come from images I have fed. No wonder I am exhausted, drained and not joyful, this is a totally unloving and very pressurised way to live. I am totally diminishing myself. It’s not me at all. It hurts deeply. It’s like telling a child to sit down, be quiet and don’t move when all they want to do is be themselves and dance around with joy.
Just re-visiting your blog Trish and reminded that there is so much more joy available in living when we ‘go with the flow’ and not try to control things. Along with that of course goes an acceptance of things as they are and that they are that way for a reason… not in a spiritual sense but that everything reflects back something. Being offered the constant and continuous opportunity to self-reflect and learn is what this allows… and when we do, life is very joyful.
So true, thank god for Universal Medicine!
Control = “So much wasted energy, so much stress…” Could not have said it better myself. Control is a lot of effort and in the end is actually pointless. Life rolls out the way life is going to roll out not matter how much we want to control it. I am learning this a lot having gone back to Uni while I have young children. They may get sick on the day of an exam and so I need to reschedule. The first time this happened I could feel it building all week but went into overdrive trying to stop it from happening. It happened anyway, and once I accepted this I could feel how tired I was from trying to stop it. This was good to feel, so I will be less likely to repeat this again!
Yes beautiful Trish, relinquishing control is big for most of us, I know it has been and still can be for me too. In a way l’m aware that control extends way beyond day to day things also, to how people are in the world. I have recognised my own reactions to things when I don’t like them, hardening up, getting caught up in whatever it is I am railing against… that is the futile attempt to control what it is, rather than see it, understand it and accept that is how it is right now.
I have learnt so much by ‘relinquishing control’. I also feel that at times I arc up against what is happening around me. It ‘is the futile attempt to control what it is, rather than see it, understand it and accept that is how it is right now’. I understand what you are sharing Jenny. My learning never stops and I feel that accepting what is going on around me and responding without any reacting on my part has started to be of great service to me and those around me.
I agree Greg, from my own experiences acceptance of what’s going on around me etc is a huge part of letting go of control. It’s when I want (or more accurately need) life to look differently that control can come in. We can hold pictures that if life is not a certain way we will fall apart but we can usually meet life quite adequately – it’s actually the picture, the illusionary need, the subsequent reactions, and then the control that hurts us.
Spot on Melinda, it is ‘control that hurts’, because anything less than Love causes our hurts. In coming to this understanding about Love, and it being the only relationship we have that does not hurt, then we can come to the understanding that responding to life situations with no reactions, which means we are not affected.
I can really feel that when I am control mode, that life goes round and round, with nothing in life changing or shifting at all. Controlling behaviour really limits us and creates so much tension that it’s exhausting.
And so often the pictures of how life should be that we try to use control to make happen never do materialise!
When we let go of the idea of control and take responsibility for how we choose to live we begin to see the natural magic of life.
I didn’t realise how much I wanted to control things until I had children. Control doesn’t work, it causes huge amount of stress for myself and for people around me. It comes loaded with expectations, resentment, anger etc. Control pushes people away and hurts us and others. So letting go of control is the most amazing feeling, and learning to surrender and trust is hugely supportive and loving for everyone. What a blessing your family is receiving from your choice to let go of control, very inspiring Trish, thank you.
Aah yes control can keep us in a holding pattern that inevitably leads us nowhere fast. When we observe and read what is needed, we surrender to the movements from our body, it is here we can truly make change and recalibrate our way of being.
What a great line “letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life…” How empowered we feel in surrender to ourselves and in observation of life, and how tense, tired and in angst we feel in control! We have to put so much energy into control but it’s so futile. We end up exhausted and more disconnected from the love we so desperately crave. It’s such an illusion isn’t it when the love we seek is waiting so patiently inside us. We settle for control when all the wonders of the universe are inside our own inner heart.
Control remains one of the most tiring aspects of my life. I can try, try, try to control it all and always without exception end up exhausted and ultimately failing (who can control everything?). Or I can connect to a flow, feel what is actually going on, and be in a movement that aligns with that… and that feels amazing!
Learning to let go of control and the protection that goes hand in hand with it, is an ever unfolding process. As I learn to surrender more deeply within, the deeper layers of armour and protection get revealed – and as these too are released there is a deep beauty and flow to life that opens to us, as we too open up to life in truth.
It’s amazing how many of us grew up with the false belief that the answer to our happiness lay in controlling others in some way and getting them to change their ways, yet as you have shared, it actually comes from choosing to make changes ourselves and taking responsibility for those choices… enabling us to truly live the life we want without having to wait for others.
I love what you shared here Samantha. I had never considered that waiting for others in life is controlling, but it so is. Holding ourselves back is very controlling. We can control in so many ways, and you have opened up something here for me to ponder on. Actually it has confirmed something for me. Thank you.
It’s a great conversation, waiting for others can often relate to pictures we hold and beliefs that when life is a certain way as we can finally feel “happy” but that is never the case. We can’t get to what we are truly seeking, which is to return to the love and harmony of our essence, by controlling the outside world. As you say, the path back to ourselves is in self care and taking responsibility, and letting others be where they are at.
Letting go of control allows expansion and space, it creates huge freedom and growth.
It feel amazing to expose control. It allows so much more freedom and joy in the body.
It’s true there is so much force with control, and with that a choice to live from our head, planning a’head’, and not the innate wisdom of our body.
Oohhhhh there are a few ouches in this for me, as I am sure for many. It’s so easy to think or say we are not controlling as we may have a picture of how we perceive or see control to be. But in actual truth it plays out in many insidious ways, be it through food choices, or planning how your day should ‘be’ or ‘look’. None of this is fun, true, joyful or works, in actual fact it is overriding your body and natural divinity, and all the magic and learning that is there being shared by God everyday. Man it’s exhausting living in a controlling way.
Hi Trish, it is great that you are looking at your control issues before you have your baby for I can tell you having had four myself that trying to control everything after the baby is born and as they grow simply leaves you frustrated, irritated and exhausted.
“It has also enabled me to make the ongoing small changes to start living the way I want to live, and not wait for others to change.” This is so true – trying to change others is an exercise in futility – rather, inspire others by living true to ourselves.
“For me, letting go of that control allows things to happen – to unfold beautifully and naturally as and when they are meant to (not ideally either) rather than forcefully, which had previously always been my style.” Control is a big issue for many- so much so that I didn’t even realise I was trying to control my life years ago. Going with the flow is amazing – the way things unfold – so much simpler too.
I’m a massive fan of this, control has dominated most of my life too, it’s exhausting and simply – it doesn’t work. Life is much simpler, sweeter and more beautiful if you simply let others make the choices they need to make, and focus more on ensuring we ourselves make the right choices.
“It has also enabled me to make the ongoing small changes to start living the way I want to live, and not wait for others to change.” You go first! That’s been a cry of mine for this life and many before it. Waiting for another to change before we can is simply a convenient excuse to remain making irresponsible choices. Responsibility requires us to walk the path ahead to find out what’s there, then come back to our brothers so we can then show them the way walking shoulder to shoulder. Serge Benhayon is doing this for me, and us all, so now it’s for me to do the same.
When I was trying to control things it meant that my relationships were all about trying to make people do what I thought they were supposed to be doing. This mostly revolved around school, homework and what the school was dictating. This did not come naturally, it did not feel good and all our relationships were affected. I know I bought into this because I allowed my mind, and what I thought I was supposed to be doing, to run the show rather than feeling what was really the best thing to do. I still find this hard sometimes, having still that idea of what is expected running somewhere inside of me. To be aware of this is the key to letting it go.
Thank you for a beautiful blog Trish; what a very precious gift you and your daughter are to one another.
There is no doubt letting go of control opens up the space for other possibilities and expansion to happen.
Trish, a beautiful birthday gift for your baby to let go of the rigidity of control and allow you and your baby learn together and feel what works for your family. A true foundation of love.
There can be so much control at play with motherhood (as well as all other aspects of our life). What an amazing gift for the mum and the child to start motherhood with the awareness of the patterns of control and the realisation that there is another way.
Yes, that is exactly right. There is no control but there is definitely harmony and there are impulses (feelings) to go by and these are very powerful.
Once we stop blaming we have stopped the chief mechanism of being powerless.
It’s true Christoph. And feeling powerless is why we think we have to stay in control. It’s an incredibly vicious cycle, and yet one which can be stop in it’s tracks by being honest with ourselves and living responsibly.
Trish what stood out for me was ‘For me, letting go of that control allows things to happen – to unfold beautifully and naturally as and when they are meant to (not ideally either) rather than forcefully,’ I have realised that life is so much simpler when we let go of trying to control it.
Even the word ‘trying’ to control shows us the effort instead of the effortlessness of letting life flow.
‘…as well as helping me feel that I am capable of what is needed.’ Yes Trish we think we have to control to be capable but it is the other way around, trying to keep control makes insecure and is frustrating us big time, at least that is my experience. It is a wonderful feeling to trust our inner connection and live from that and life is more light and less tiring.
‘…as well as helping me feel that I am capable of what is needed.’ Yes Trish we think we have to control to be capable but it is the other way around, trying to keep control makes insecure and is frustrating us big time, at least that is my experience. It is a wonderful feeling to trust our inner connection and live from that and life is more light and less tiring.
Trish, I can really relate to what you have written, I started attending the Universal Medicine courses when I became pregnant, these courses inspired me to take care of myself, to be aware of how certain foods and drinks were affecting me and as he has grown up how they affect my son, I have been aware that how i am affects how my son is, that getting angry, shouting, rushing simply do not work and create a lot of tension and upset. and the big one for me – control, I have slowly been letting go of trying to control my son and letting go of an expectation i have of how i want him to be and so allowing him to be himself, this is a work in progress.
‘Thank goodness for Universal Medicine’ – Well said Trish I totally agree, the quality of my life has changed enormously since attending Universal Medicine presentations.
Trish, how absolutely fantastic that you have come to this huge realisation at the start of your life with this child. This is something I wish I had realised in the early days of raising children. So much energy and so much angst could have been saved. I know I felt like I had to control all the movements of my family and even the dog, so that we looked the way we should look and didn’t offend anybody. This is an impossible task and led to illness. I know I got to that point because I had stopped listening to and feeling the truth of the way things are and gone into trying to fix things without being in any kind of self care. It is so lovely to now understand the power and freedom of connecting to truth and living that.
It is so true letting go of control gives us the ability to live our life on what we feel, not guided by what we think.
“letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… go figure!” it is funny but then it makes sense when we are in the rhythm of our life and in connection. You have written a beautiful blog about the loving choices and changes you are making since becoming a mum, super inspiring!
I agree Trish. This is very life affirming. Universal Medicine teach and present on what it means to be Truly Responsible for our lives. I LOVE the simplicity in which you share your story and find it very inspiring.
“It’s allowed me to go with the flow and accept the changes my body needed to make to accommodate a growing baby, rather than be down on myself that I didn’t look like society’s ‘ideal’ of what a pregnant woman should look like.” I like this. A woman that gets pregnant can work on herself to create a feeling of spaciousness for a growing baby instead of just wait for the baby to push for it. It is an offering of a quality to the baby before it gets born; a quality that forever will remain in that relationship.
Thank you Francisco, I agree, anxiety and nervous energy have lots of mechanisms including control, to understand more about anxiety go to the Understanding Anxiety in Men – ONLINE COURSE
http://study.coum.org/enrol/index.php?id=14
Having been a master at control (I’m sure I could have attained a PhD in that one in the past!), I could so relate to this, and yet I’ve experienced the exact same thing in that “letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… ” ! The more I let go and allow and the more I come back to my body, the more I make choices from my body and not my head.
Control used to feature in everything in my life and it’s such hard work . It was exhausting trying to organise everything to go the way my head thought it should be, so others didn’t judge me or my ideals weren’t challenged. Letting go of control is a great journey, allowing things to simply be, and make the choices from what we feel. And it’s amazing for your body to feel that too.
Thank you for sharing Trish.
I love what you say about letting go of control actually allowed you to be in more control. This was deeply profound and a delight to read.
I have found when I try to be in control I spend a lot of my time just spinning around in circles. Instead I could have done it in quarter of the time if I just gave my self permission to let go and go with what I first initially felt was right.
Instead of trying to find the super dooper correct way.
I would love to have had the benefit of Universal Medicine and the teachings of Serge Benhayon in my younger days of child rearing . It must be great to have that wisdom to fall back on when needed and the loving support of Practitioners and students, not to mention your own growing wisdom and knowledge . This is a blog that could help many new Parents, thank you Trish.
Once we have the understanding of why we want to control we can start to let it go and just allow life to flow.
I have learnt that wanting to be in control curbs the natural flow of life and I have missed out on lots of beautiful unfoldings. I have noticed that control leads to frustration in my body when things have not gone my way. Trish, thank you for sharing and bringing this to my attention – a gentle reminder.
How fortunate Trish that you have been able to come to these realisations before/around the time that you have had your baby. What a brilliant start in life for your child who gets to see this lovely reflection you offer each day!
How much simpler life is when we aren’t out there trying to control what might be and when as is often the case, doesn’t turn out the way we expect, we become frustrated. Acceptance and letting go of those controlling ways and going with what you truly feel is right for you without any expectations or the need to please, allows more harmony within ourselves and with others.
A beautiful sharing Trish, I agree letting go of control in your life and surrendering allows for more ease and simplicity in our lives.
Letting go of control feels like being more ‘in control’ of life. I agree. Life becomes less trying and difficult, there is a rhythm and flow instead of fighting and hardness.
I agree Trish that trying to control life is very, very exhausting, creating stress and strain in bucket loads along the way. I have learned that trying to control my life actually creates a life that is full of complications. On the other hand letting go of this control naturally produces a life that is so simple, and within that simplicity are all the answers that we ever need, to all the things we used to try to control – and it is not exhausting in the least.
I completely agree trying to control life is extremely exhausting and full of stress and strain. I too can relate how trying to control creates complications and lots of anxiousness. Having been working on letting go of control has reduced the exhaustion, stress and my life has become more simple and fun.
What a simple and profoundly beautiful blog you have written Trish. The simplicity and the ease of how your living comes through your writing and for many having a baby is the most difficult time in their lives. To feel how naturally you are learning to love with your new child and feel the beauty of readjustment is inspiring.
I find that when I am trying to control things I become very tense and life becomes a strain. It’s far easier to go with the flow, life is much more enjoyable.
Yes, understanding we are part of the whole is *wonderful*!
I think I have tried control as a form of protection, the problem is it doesnt work. A better option is to allow and let life come to you.
I know I’ve been a control freak carefully manipulating things to get to the desired outcome. It’s incredibly exhausting and you’re right Joe it doesn’t work and if it does the exhaustion isn’t worth it. I’ve been quite amazed and pleasantly surprised at the way things can unfold when I allow it to and trust is a big component here – something I’m still learning to do.
We have vastly more control when we try to control what we can control.
It has been revealed to me how much control there is in my body and life, experienced as a hardness in my heart chakra. This new awareness is humbling, I can let go of the reins and trust in the support and wisdom of the divine. Attempting to control everything is exhausting. There is always a choice: allow life to unfold naturally and learn to surrender offers a more harmonious way to be in life.
I agree Libby. When I stopped trying to control my family – believing what I was doing for them was in their best interest, I got to see that they are ok. So I no longer try and control them because I wasn’t in the first place, now I get to enjoy them rather than being really busy in my head with all the different senarios and drama.
sjmatsonuk this is gold. I loved how you described controlling children – dropping marbles on a granite floor and herding cats – very funny yet so true. Have you ever noticed that children are more in control than adults as they are more connected to what is going on around them.
“Using every bit of myself to be ahead of the game” I know exactly what this feels like as this was how I was living and still do to a point. It’s extremely exhausting as it requires you to be in your head constantly strategising to stay in control and manipulate the future. It hardly ever works out how you have planned so blame, failure and poor me come into play. However by connecting to me and starting to listen to my body I’m learning that my body knows what is best for me right here right now in the present. There has been a slight adjustment period where I have had to move from living in the future to living in the present where real life is happening. Listening to your body in the present moment is not exhausting it’s actually the opposite. You feel vital and you get to do alot more things in your day.
This is a beautiful sharing Trish. I imagine your baby would have also been better off not being in a body that was anxious or stressed and dealing with life after the birth of a baby would have been much easier without the need to control everything, as when there is a new baby, its hard to control life as you never really know what’s ahead in each moment.
Control has been a big one for me and I am realising that there are layers underneath the control. I have used patterns and routines to control parts of my life and now as I disturb them I can feel the insecurity, fear and uncertainty appearing. I know in my head that to let life unfold is beautiful and natural and I can feel this in some parts of my life but in other areas it seems harder! Trish, I appreciate what you have shared.
Anne I like how you have used the word ‘disturb’. You’ve disturbed your patterns and routines and this is bringing things up for you. This is great as you can already feel that some parts of your life are benefiting from this change. Others I know are at times a little harder to shake but keep connecting and accepting and you’ll get there.
So true Nicole. Having a baby is a huge change in life and I am so grateful for the support offered by Universal Medicine in all aspects of life. I’m so glad I found Universal Medicine before I had children, I can’t imagine how my life would be now if I continued in the same pattern of control that I previously had.
Yes Lee what an incredible foundation for you and your family.
“So much wasted energy, so much stress just thinking about trying to control everything.” I totally get this Trish. I use to have so much self created stress in my life by trying to control everything. I didn’t even realise that I was creating this stress as I was so deep in it and didn’t realise that there was another way. Now, when I start to feel stressed, I look at where I am trying to control things to get a preconceived outcome or ideal. This is a completely different approach for me.
So true Hannah – we end up always fighting to keep control – stressed out and struggling to hold on to it. Instead of allowing things to flow. It’s a huge thing to start looking at.
Trish what a beautiful and wise mother you are.
With letting go of trying to control our lives, the way we live changes so much doesn’t it? We allow situations to unfold naturally, we can feel more spaciousness and a gentle flow and rhythm in the day. There is so much joy to feel once the push to control no longer drives us.
Control is a massive hardness in the body and it does not allow me to be precious and delicate. If I need to control I have to go hard first if not the control is not in my body. The same happens with being open to people, if I control I shut people out, I separate and I demand of people. Control is undermining who we are, trying to force life into a certain direction. I can feel a false comfort in control, wanting life to be a certain way, but this way is not true and loving, but hard and separating. I controlled a lot and overpowered people to go my way and what I can feel today is that with control we are missing out the true beauty of life, the true joy to life.
We try to control but that causes tension – more tension that if we let go of control as we might just realise we can actually handle what life presents to us.
I love this: “letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… go figure!” And I can so relate, I am learning that the less I try to control, the more I am able to observe and from there see what I have to do in each and every moment. So cool.
Awesome points Rachel, as a man I champion(ed) control, it was a driver in making the world bend to the way I needed it to be – the joke was plain and simply on me for the world shapes itself to no one, you essentially play to the beat of its drum and momentarily are you given the crumbs that look like you have it over the world. Not true. And the world looks on as another person buckles under the pressure of living up to a false. It has been and continues to be a loving change needed in each and every moment to arrest this behaviour that seeks constant recognition.
Control is the perfect setup – we need to constantly pull in an energy to keep the illusion going – and then when we get too exhausted we are forced to let everything go so that it falls in a heap and we are frantic to get control back. Crazy.
So true Lee. Control is a vicious downward spiral that is difficult to break once you get trapped in it.
I used to think it was great that I had control over my life but as you say Lee it is the perfect set up and keeps us in the illusion that our life is fine when in reality it is not. Even now I find areas of my life where I still want to keep the control and how painful this is in my body as I try to hold onto what I know is not true. It is great to read this blog today as it really does seem futile to keep control over something I know is holding me back and stopping the natural flow of life
Yes nicely said Brendan and so true Catherine. It is such a paradox that when we let go of control we actually feel more in control. I see that is because we are in the the flow there is no longer a struggle and we have the space to make choices.
This line “Letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life” made me ponder on the fact what having control over life truly means for me. Often I am asked by people, especially on my work, if I have everything under control. In the past I was always confirmed that question with a yes, but lately I started to consider the fact that actually I do not have any control whatsoever because life is an ever changing flow of which I am not able to predict its next direction. The only thing I can value is my ability to anticipate to this flow or not. Do I allow and appreciate unexpected things to happen or do I not accept and try to control the situation. I know the last will drain and frustrate me since I will never be able to control any situation. Allowing things to unfold as they naturally unfold is the most beautiful thing in life as this reflects to me the never ending lessons of life for me to evolve from, the never ending journey of life. Thank you Trish Mazur for writing this blog that inspired me to reflect on how I am with controlling in life.
Thankyou for sharing so honestly Trish. I can totally relate to your need to control as I am aware of my own resistance to letting go of that same need and surrender to the flow. A flow that when I do connect to is just divine – not always without challenges or discomfort, but nonetheless fundamentally simpler and far more true. I also have to agree, thank god for Unimed.
I am so glad I took the time to read this blog tonight. You allowed me to feel how exhausting my controlling behaviours are Trish. I spend a lot of time trying to ‘know it all’ but in the end I find time and time again that this need to ‘know it all’ results in making decisions based on false information etc. It feels so much easier and simpler to connect to myself, trust and allow things to unfold.
Wonderful what having a baby can reveal to you. You cannot control a newborn baby and it is an opportunity to notice where we are trying to control so much else in life. I can also relate to where you say “using every bit of myself to be ahead of the game and know everything there is to know before it even happens, if it ever happen”. Trying to control things in my mind just in case they happen. I have been a student of Universal Medicine for 9 years and now appreciate how exhausting and harming this was for my body and letting go of worrying about how I could have done something better or fretting about something that may happen tomorrow, next week, next month etc. Letting go of control allows the fun back into living.
It is indeed hard work and exhausting to attempt to control life, and beautiful that with the extraordinary support offered by Universal Medicine you have learnt to live in a way where you can allow life to unfold as it is meant to. A gorgeous transformation.
Trish I can relate so much to what you share, also being a new mum to a young child I found my sense of needing to be in control went into overdrive. But like you have shared, I found the support of Universal medicine practitioners allowed me to let go more (this is still an ongoing process for me) and actually begin to enjoy being me as a woman and to trust my own feelings around how I parent. It seems the more we let go of control and let people and life in, the more opportunities open up and life’s natural rhythm and flow has space to unfold.
Amazing right…”Control was a big issue for me; letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… go figure!” Imagine that as we let go of how we try and control our lives, become more focused and more purposeful without the constriction and prison of trying to make life fit what we ‘think’ it should be.
Trish I have spent so long blaming the world and other people for the things that I did not like in my life without taking any responsibility for my choices. Recognising this and focussing inwardly has made a huge difference to my outlook on life. What is interesting though is despite this shift I still find myself slipping into old patterns and blaming others for situations that I am plainly responsible for. This blog was a great reminder for me to be aware of when I slip into the blame game.
For me, control is not something I associate myself with. Yet after reading this blog and feeling how I would cope with pregnancy and birthing, I can feel much resistance. Perhaps resistance is a form of control? It feels the same, hard and uncomfortable and going against the flow. Very interesting. Going with the flow and accepting life as it is feels way more simple. Thank you for sharing your experience Trish.
Shedding all the old beliefs and ideals allows our true connection to our own wisdom within and everyone benefits from that. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine Presentations open the way for looking deeper and exposing what runs our lives. It is up to us to choose how we want to live and you are responsible for the choices you make. A beautiful unfolding of loving connection to self and the benefits for everyone around you Trish. Thanks for sharing.
It is beautiful to hear how you have allowed things to unfold during your pregnancy and beyond. Thank you so much for sharing Trish and I can really relate to the exhaustion caused by vain attempts to control life and the expansion that I now feel when I choose to live from moment to moment without trying to control outcomes.
Taking responsibility for your choices and letting go of the need to control things is very empowering, and by allowing things to unfold naturally actually creates space in your day.
I absolutely and wholeheartedly agree Trish, thank goodness for Universal Medicine,
my life was a mess before I started my amazing journey with Universal Medicine,
And thank goodness for the awesome, lovely me who made the choice to choose to invest in me!
Thank you Trish. When I feel I’m controlling I know more commitment is needed. I think of most bosses who control for a driven outcome. It forces you to act in a certain way for that one objective eg. usually the budget. You go against your feelings, like most other employees do, and time and time again it just creates a complaining work force.
The way I see true change is when all staff are aligned to the same purpose – just as long as that purpose honours all equally.
Personally when I have purpose to honour my feelings, fully commit, let all people in, make it about people, and not hold this back; it allows things to flow as it should and things come my way. It’s a true joy to feel space unfold for me as it should (and others) to empower me (and them) and not squash and retard the space with control.
There is nothing more incredible than to be myself.
Rik I love what you’ve shared here, when you feel control, more commitment is needed. This is a great insight, as once control is there it’s not about the connection it’s about an outcome. So great one to catch, and perfect for me to read just now as I’m looking at control.
This sentence shines the light right onto something most of us don’t want to look at: “… letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… go figure!” Surrendering isn’t something one can try at, one can only choose it with no attachment.
Trish what you share here is a double birth – that of your child and the returning of you back to your natural way of being. I loved what you shared here – “We have been able to lovingly simplify and prioritise what is important and needed, and what is not.” A true returning.
Reading your blog Trish is timely for me. A lovely reminder to let go of control, not to try and make things happen, but stay connected and feel what is next rather than pushing with the mind to make things happen.
Me too Donna, this blog is very timely as I contemplate some changes in my life which I want to organise and control, and yet if I stay connected and feel what is next, there is a flow,and one my mind could never come up with! Trish, such a fantastic blog, you really blow the whole fallacy of control out of the water, thank you.
“It allowed me to go with the flow and accept the changes my body needed to make ” this is so true, trying to control everything overrides what our body is clearly telling us in favour of not being in the moment and constantly going into what if’s and just in case. It also stops us from evolving.
Awesome blog Trish, I am not a mum in the physical sense, but can absolutely agree with you “Control is just too much Hard Work”.
Control is something that I also have put lots of energy into, and exhausted myself as a result. Underneath that desire to control, there I was not being able to trust myself, the others and the world in general. There was constant tension, and no appreciation. What I am learning now is that by control I would be robbing myself of the opportunity to appreciate the magic of God that is being offered.
Thank you Fumiyo for the reminder to ‘appreciate the magic of God that is being offered’ when we allow life to unfold.
Hello Trish, you expose so simply here the game that is at play. You are showing there is a way to live life from feeling each moment and staying with the moment. Doing this in itself opens the next moment and from this way you are supported and much more in ‘control’. Whereas, if you concern about the future and carry the past, you re-create the moment. You re-create the moment to be something you need so as to feel secure or not make the same mistakes. Life is there to be lived in a series of moments each one valued and honoured that leads to the next. There is a flow to life, a tangible feeling of ‘where to be’ or ‘what to do next’, we just need to let go of how the future should look and release what the past was like, to bring life into the moment we have now. Thank you Trish.
Pertaining to much of life, I feel the following quote is well worth pondering on: “Control was a big issue for me; letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… go figure!”
Perhaps it has much to do with allowing heart felt decisions to arise that guide you; rather than blocking this flow with mental constructs, that control you?
Letting go of control is so very freeing in the body. I feel it as an immediate letting go, my body softens and releases. The tension clears and I feel so much more spacious.
Brooke, I love this comment, it is filled with inspiration and a true sense of how it feels to let go of control.
Trish what an amazing blog – you are a wonderful role model for all and for me particularly for pregnant women. You allow them to feel that there is another way without ideals and beliefs. I am not a mother and I didn’t want to be a mother exactly because of all of these ideals and beliefs. So it is so good to read about letting go of the control also there.
Letting go of control is so freeing.
Whilst reading your blog Trish I am again reminded of how significant letting go of control is for me; often I need to pull myself up and acknowledge that I have slipped into wanting to control.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom.
Control what control !! It’s funny even being recklessly out of control to being perfectly in control is the same just different ends of the spectrum, which I can now see. I would have always thought the latter was better off before Universal Medicne and its students highlighted the difference.
Lettting go of control is huge for me too- inspiring to read how it can work and yes- without Universal Medicine, I don´t know and I don´t wanna imagine how my life would have looked like.
Control is such a big issue, thank you for your contribution and insights. We do it to not get hurt and I have found that I manipulate events and people in a way that attempts to prevent that from happening to me. Without Universal Medicine I would have never got to feel how stifling and manipulative of myself this behaviour is, plus the fact that – it doesn’t actually work.
Control and worrying about things has been a big one for me and one that I am still working with, because I know it lessens me and restricts the flow life has to offer.
Actually reading your blog brought back some of the memories of feeling totally out of control when my first child was born, I remember being overwhelmed with having to be responsible for a tiny baby and worried about my ability to get it right.
From all accounts it sounds like you had the loving support all new mums would benefit from and learned a lot about yourself in the process – thank you for sharing.
I personally relate to “control was a big issue for me” and when our son (we only have one child) was born, he really showed me that “control is just too much hard work”! To let things “unfold beautifully and naturally as and when they are meant to (not ideally either) rather than forcefully” is the way, isn’t it? Thank you Trish for writing this.
Thank you for sharing your profound experience of Universal Medicine and how it has supported you in making theses great changes in your life.
I found that taking responsibility for my choices has allowed me to develop a beautiful foundation of love from within. And with this I am able to share this love with others, instead of blame or control. ‘Control was a big issue for me; letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life… go figure!’ Beautifully expressed. As it is so true that being in the flow with yourself is such a beautiful and natural way to live. I am continuing to develop this, and the more I let go of the control the more of I allow me and my heart to guide me.
Control I experienced has created stress and limitations. By letting go of it allows so much more into my life, more space, acceptance and understanding. Control feels like a very hard and contracted way of living which puts stress on myself and everyone around me. By me choosing to no longer function having to be in control feels amazing.
It is so important to let go of control and just live the way that supports us most.
How wonderful to have this clarity and stability in you as you embarked on mothering. Universal Medicine supporting you to align to the real you is a good thing for everyone and situation.
Thank you Trish for sharing. Letting go of control and just surrendering to life is something I am continuing to work on. It’s funny how letting go of control can really give you more space and time to just see how things unfold, with no pressure.
I agree Kelly and it allows us to see and be with the beauty and the magic of God.
Thank you Trish, I can very much relate to the need for control, and quite often I look back at situations where I thought I had control and realise now that actually I was just stressed and not really in control at all. Although I am still not fully able to let go of my need for control, I am a long way from where I used to be and all of my relationships have gained a depth and understanding that was just not possible before. Universal Medicine has helped me with this, but I have made the choices and done the work required to change, grow and develop.
Thank goodness for Universal Medicine indeed. My life would also be looking very different today had I not been presented with the possibility that I can, in fact, make choices that work for me and not forever be bound by choice making for the sole benefit of others. Hallelujah!
Very simple but strong blog Trish, it is such an important thing to realise that we can’t control everything and the only way we can live our lives is being aware of what is needed in every moment.
Beautiful comment Benkt, I love it ‘the only way we can live our lives is being aware of what is needed in every moment’ – the absolute antithesis of control and so freeing and less stressful too.
That’s a very pertinent observation Rod, I too notice how much new mothers are drained and stressed and definitely trying to control life. I really like what Trish shares about how she turned the tables on this pattern and how it has benefitted her.
A lovely simple blog which says so much. I can relate to trying to control others and situations but it is exhausting and such a waste of time. It’s great that you have had the support during your pregnancy to let go of any parts of your life you feel, the need to control.
The connection and love you have built for yourself and life is reflected by the responsibility you are taking and the allowing of your natural flow and rhythm to guide you through life in an honest, simple way. Thank you.
Letting go of control is huge, but very liberating and you realize that it was not needed anyway and how much you were standing in your own way. Great sharing!
So true Rachel, the control was not needed, and actually hampered what was truly needed!
It surely is a crazy concept to try and control things that we obviously have no control in like the choices of others and the ways of the world . Myself from learning to accept and let go has been an amazing journey and with that the letting go the stress and feeling of contraction really eases and life becomes fun and flowing .
Having a baby is everyone’s business and everyone has a piece of advice for you. All well intentioned advice, but it can be overwhelming if you don’t have confidence in your own ability to know what is right for you and your baby. It is great you were developing that and have been able to implement it.
This is such a true reflection on what Universal Medicine offers in its teachings. I too have been holding on tight trying to control everything and everyone in my life so I feel ok. Letting go and learning to accept, and also to know that I have the power to choose how I want to live regardless of what the world is doing has been so empowering for me, so now that I have my life back in my own hands, and armed with this new awareness, I can make the changes and adjustments needed within myself. Mainly this has been about opening up and allowing the real me to come out. Because the real me is super loving, super playfull, super responsible and in all this, super powerful.
I only can agree, Trish: ‘ Life would have definitely been a totally different story without UniMed. Thank goodness for Universal Medicine.’ My life has changed profoundly and concerning the control bit, I am sometimes still struggling with this but step by step getting more awareness of my controlling patterns, which feels very freeing. Thank you for the reminder.
I can relate to that Kerstin, I too am letting go of the control step by step and with every small layer that I let go, things start coming towards me, instead of me chasing ideals and beliefs. Thank you for your inspiring blog Trish.
Trish wow control is a big issue for lots of us so thanks for sharing how Universal Medicine has supported you to slowly let control go. I too have found that by taking my grip off of being in control it has supported me actually feeling more able to deal with what life presents as well as far less tired from all the effort control takes!
Yes, I have had a long journey with letting go of control. It used to feel so important to hedge, second guess, think of all the things that could go wrong, try to stop other things from happening.
It’s not worth it, it puts so much strain on us – I find that by letting go, I allow a flow, and things seem to work out so much more simply with no force.
It is great what you are sharing I can relate to it. Letting go of control, embracing acceptance and going with the flow feels so amazing. Thank you Trish.
Trish, I too realised that I was holding myself in a very unnatural and hard way because I just did not want to let go of control. It is truly liberating to feel how unnecessary this ‘task’ is and how simple life is without it.
It is great that you share about not needing to be in control. It is making life so much simpler, and it opens possibilities you could have never imagined.
leighoflight,I too, own one of those ‘know-it-all-adult’ hats, Time for me to let go of the reigns of control, and be open, with childlike wonderment, to new ways of living
Having given this ‘what if? and ‘how does my body feel?’ a try I can certainly say that, while the hat may still be around, I am finding myself less willing to keep it glued to my head! When I let myself feel the ‘know it all’ way of behaving it doesn’t feel in any way, shape or form attractive. I only keep repeating it to avoid feeling the fact that as a kid I was already feeling that this was not right for me, but being young we pay attention to the ‘know it all adults’ all around us. It feels pretty cool now knowing that what I felt then can still be felt now and now I feel more capable of guiding my own way, those around can lead by example but ultimately I am the one taking the steps.
I love this blog, so simply and so true and can relate to the exhaustion, tension and stress and constantly trying to be ahead of the game by trying to control me, outcomes and situations – when going with the flow just puts a smile on my face, as I can feel the simplicity, joy and ease.
There is great wisdom shared here, on the freedom that can be created within our lives, when we let go of the imprisoning effects of Control.
Thank you Trish, I can so relate to what you are saying around control. ‘letting go of that control allows things to happen – to unfold beautifully and naturally as and when they are meant to’. It shocked me when I realised how disempowering my need to control was for those around me. When I felt how it would be to be on the receiving end of me, it became a lot easier to loosen the tether!
Lovely blog. It is indeed, letting go of the control, the idea how something should be or stay. Great how you simplified your life and just checked what has priority now. Keep it simple and let life show what is needed.
“Letting go of that control makes me feel like I actually have more control of my life” – YES! Me too Trish and ditto with the whole ‘mothering’ thing. There is so much wisdom in this seeming contradiction. Thankyou.
Agree Trish and agreed control is HUGE and so relatable, and from reading your words can feel the great expansiveness in your choice to let go of it and embrace the flow. Inspiring.
How much do we ‘use’ others to cushion us? As you rightly put it, if we do so, we need to use control just to make sure that they are there cushioning us. In truth, we do not need anyone cushioning us and therefore, we do not need control.
Thanks Trish. Letting go of that need to know what will happen and what the result will be is something that we need to let go of in time (:
Thanks Trish, I really related to the part about not waiting for others to change first, this was a big lesson for me that allowed me to take responsibility for myself. And yes, thank goodness for Universal Medicine.
I can so relate to living a life being in control. This way of living is so exhausting and I too am appreciating that this is no longer how I live my life thanks to Universal Medicine.
Hi Trish, its great that you could feel the affects that living up to others expectations was having on you and felt able to let that go. By feeling into the situation and taking resposibiliy for the choices we make, gives us more control and more spaciousness in the day.
Thank you Trish for sharing so openly about your past need to control things. It is a big trap and I learned that from personal experience too. I still fall into it at times and then I realise how tiring and absurd this is. There is much joy and tenderness in letting go.