by Leonne, Compliance Coordinator, Brisbane, Queensland, Australia
My issues with my skin really began when I hit puberty. From 14 onwards I was engaged in a battle with my face, squeezing, scrubbing and obsessing about each new spot that would appear.
It was just the usual teen acne and something most of my friends had, too. It was tough sometimes, but I figured I would grow out of it and have a smooth face once again when I was all grown up.
I remember reading so many books and articles at that time, trying to find a solution to my facial woes. All the books and articles I read said repeatedly “there is no scientifically proven link between diet and acne”. This suited me fine as I loved my diet of chips, pies, chocolate milk and lollies: I never put on weight so ‘lucky me’, a licence to gorge on whatever food I wanted. I decided my acne could not be related to diet, that’s what the scientists were saying and look at Kate Moss, we all know she parties hard and her skin is perfect.
So I continued to scrub, squeeze and self-loathe, waiting for the day when my skin would magically clear up. This carried on until a devastating relationship breakup at the age of 19, when things became much worse. At this point I began to develop extremely painful and disfiguring cystic acne, which left my face scarred and sore. I went to the doctor desperate to find a solution and tried a variety of medications that left me burned, peeling and more scarred. The doctors repeatedly told me there was no correlation between my acne and my diet (even though a nagging inner voice made that seem preposterous to me), so I continued to torture myself trying to find a solution.
Until this point in my life I had always been admired and given attention for my appearance. As a little girl, people would say “you are so beautiful, like a porcelain doll”, etc. No-one said these things anymore; I felt I had lost the thing most people noticed about me and valued. The few people I did see sometimes made horrified comments about my appearance and always tried to offer kind solutions or ask me questions such as ‘‘are you washing your face?” – which just made me feel worse. I felt like I had tried everything, spending the little money I had on expensive skincare and trying to do everything right. At this point I was very depressed, broken hearted and finding it difficult to leave the house.
Eventually, after about a year of trying hopeless remedies, a caring and dedicated doctor prescribed me a contraceptive pill that controlled adult acne. It was wonderful, my face cleared up within three months and I was admired once more: although I was left with the physical and emotional scars of my experience, I began to heal.
The doctor told me I would need to stay on the medication I was taking until I was at least 35 years old, and I stayed on this pill for the next 12 years. Sure it dulled me down, swelled me up and made me feel a bit less myself, but that was a small price to pay to have my face back. I tried to come off the medication several times and loved having a medication free body, but the acne always came back within a month or two and I would cave in immediately and start taking it again. Finally, at the age of 29 I decided to listen to my heart and try changing my diet – it just made sense to me, why not give it a shot? I stayed on the pill while I did this… I wanted to test the waters and see if I could do it before I tried anything too drastic.
So I changed my diet and I could see and feel great results in my body when I cut out dairy, caffeine, alcohol and sugar; I felt sure it would help with my acne as my already clear skin began to take on a healthy, radiant glow. Unfortunately, I seemed to have no willpower: having never dieted before I discovered I had a relationship with these foods and drinks that made giving them up seem impossible.
I gave up on the diet once I realised I couldn’t handle life without the food and drinks that harmed me. I needed a glass of wine after a hard day at work, a chocolate bar when I was feeling out of sorts and a coffee to wake me up in the morning. I simply could not function without these things. I even used to joke and say that having caffeine in my blood should be a requirement on my driver’s licence!
Alcohol seemed to have a particularly bad effect on my skin, but when I was out at a big event like a wedding or birthday party it seemed crazy not to drink – those were the only times I felt like I really got to let my hair down and have fun. I was faced with the confronting reality that I was knowingly ingesting things that were bad for me, things that were destroying my skin and hurting my body: faced with the fact that I was using a medicine to cover up the damage I was doing. It was a very uncomfortable truth and I knew I needed to get to the bottom of it.
I had seen counsellors and psychologists throughout my 20’s, but none of them had been able to truly help me. Eventually a counsellor I was seeing recommended I have a Chakra-puncture session with a Universal Medicine practitioner, Jenny Ellis, at the UniMed Clinic in Brisbane. With the incredible support of Jenny and other Universal Medicine practitioners I was able to get to the root cause of what issue was behind the choices I was making and how this impacted on my body. I went to courses delivered by Serge Benhayon and read the books he had written – it all made perfect sense to me: everything I read and learnt fitted exactly with what I felt the truth of life to be and gave me the insight I needed to change my diet, stop drinking alcohol and start making more loving choices for myself.
In March this year I felt my body was ready and I stopped taking the pill I had been taking for 12 years. Nine months later my skin is relatively clear, the best it has ever been without medication. Now, when I do get a pimple I can feel my body speaking to me and releasing what needs to come out. I have come to love my pimples and see each one as a gift of truth. I know that if my acne gets bad again it will simply be its way of letting me know that I have the potential to be living in a more loving way, and I will adjust accordingly. Mind you, it is not difficult as I rarely get a pimple I really have to worry about! This realisation is nothing short of amazing for me and I have tears of joy just writing about it!
Most importantly, I now know that my beauty has nothing to do with my appearance. My beauty comes from within and no pimple is big enough to erase it on the outside. How incredibly powerful this is.
I see so clearly now that what I was avoiding all those years – listening to the “articles and doctors and scientists” (and Kate Moss!) instead of my own body – was taking responsibility for my own choices and dealing with what was really behind those choices. How empowering it is to finally take control and listen to the truth my body tells me.
Thank you Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon, Jenny Ellis and all the amazing Universal Medicine practitioners: you reminded me how to listen to my body and my heart and I am forever grateful.